Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary: Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken with Trixie and Katya

Episode Title: Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken
Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Host/Author: Studio71
Release Date: February 4, 2025

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I. Navigating Challenges with Living Spaces and Housekeeping
Timestamp: [17:10]

In this segment, Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova delve into the frustrations of maintaining a living space that meets their standards. Trixie expresses her discontent with her new condominium, highlighting the poor construction quality:

Trixie Mattel [17:18]: "But let me tell you about condominium complexes that are built with balsa wood and tissue paper."

She laments the lack of privacy due to inadequate soundproofing, making her feel as though she can "hear everything."

Trixie Mattel [19:43]: "I hear them sneeze, I hear them cough. I hear them talk. I hear them walk."

Katya shares a personal story about her former housekeeper, Beth, who accidentally hit someone while cleaning. This incident shattered her trust, leading her to hire a new cleaner, Marisol, who exceeded her expectations.

Katya Zamolodchikova [21:22]: "But then I just had to stop. I just felt the trust was kind of broken that I didn't get it, you know?"

Trixie praises Marisol's exceptional cleaning skills, comparing her work to that of luxury hotels.

Trixie Mattel [23:07]: "And I walked in and she did both rooms flawlessly, perfectly, flawlessly."

This discussion underscores the importance of trustworthy and competent housekeeping services in maintaining a comfortable living environment.

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II. Navigating Social Media and Influencer Culture
Timestamp: [21:22]

Katya brings up her admiration for the influencer "Care by Cara," who remains positive despite facing negative comments online. She emphasizes the value of maintaining a good attitude amidst internet trolls.

Katya Zamolodchikova [11:03]: "So the more I watched her, the more I'm like, oh wow, she's right. Hydrogenated flour. Okay. Like I'm like, there is wild shit in food."

Trixie agrees, highlighting how some influencers manage to stay kind-hearted despite backlash.

Trixie Mattel [11:40]: "She has many and she doesn't give a fudge."

Their conversation reflects on the resilience required to thrive in the often harsh environment of social media, advocating for positivity and self-care.

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III. Alcohol Consumption and Parenting Challenges
Timestamp: [37:26]

Trixie and Katya humorously discuss the pitfalls of alcohol consumption, particularly hangovers, and its impact on daily life. Katya describes her exaggerated hangover experiences:

Katya Zamolodchikova [35:38]: "Well, now it's going to hang over into fab. I got a rollover plan."

Trixie shares her own binge-drinking habits and the ensuing chaos, emphasizing their comedic take on the subject.

Trixie Mattel [35:28]: "I've had this feeling for so long, Mama, I'm not doing sleepovers and I'm not doing house."

They transition into discussing parenting, specifically the challenges of co-sleeping and extended breastfeeding. Katya vents her frustrations with the lack of privacy and the constant presence of her child.

Katya Zamolodchikova [30:25]: "Co sleep family. Co sleep."

Their candid and humorous exchange sheds light on the real-life struggles of balancing personal needs with parental responsibilities.

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IV. Drag Performances and 2025 Pop Culture
Timestamp: [37:26]

The conversation shifts to the world of drag, where Trixie and Katya critique and celebrate various drag performances and trends. They discuss the evolution of drag shows, noting a shift towards more subversive and less glamorous acts.

Katya Zamolodchikova [43:05]: "They all slutty and open and nasty and rotten. Why are you shoving your 50 degree down my throat and my butt."

Trixie reminisces about her own drag performances, expressing aspirations to master physical feats like the straddle split.

Trixie Mattel [41:58]: "It's just to get my straddle split. I'm working every day on it."

They also share their thoughts on contemporary drag numbers, highlighting both impressive and lackluster performances.

Katya Zamolodchikova [47:30]: "Can I have their numbers?"

Their discussion underscores the dynamic and ever-evolving nature of drag culture, blending critique with appreciation for the art form.

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V. Reflections and Closing Thoughts
Timestamp: [53:27]

As the episode wraps up, Trixie and Katya reflect on broader societal issues and their place within them. They touch upon topics like the inauguration, personal identity, and the intersection of fame and personal life, all while maintaining their characteristic humor and candor.

Trixie Mattel [52:35]: "And you know, it's the day of the inauguration as we film this, I just want to say Hamburglar. I'm not going to say it gets better because that turned out to kind of be a lie, that whole thing, Right?"

Their closing remarks tie together the episode's themes of balance, resilience, and the pursuit of personal happiness amidst life's chaos.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Trixie Mattel [19:43]: "I hear them sneeze, I hear them cough. I hear them talk. I hear them walk."

• Katya Zamolodchikova [21:22]: "I just felt the trust was kind of broken that I didn't get it, you know?"

• Katya Zamolodchikova [11:03]: "So the more I watched her, the more I'm like, oh wow, she's right. Hydrogenated flour. Okay."

• Trixie Mattel [23:07]: "And I walked in and she did both rooms flawlessly, perfectly, flawlessly."

• Katya Zamolodchikova [35:38]: "Well, now it's going to hang over into fab. I got a rollover plan."

• Trixie Mattel [41:58]: "It's just to get my straddle split. I'm working every day on it."

• Katya Zamolodchikova [43:05]: "They all slutty and open and nasty and rotten. Why are you shoving your 50 degree down my throat and my butt."

---

Conclusion

"Finding Balance Through Dialectism & Chicken" offers an unfiltered glimpse into the lives of Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova as they navigate personal challenges, professional endeavors, and the ever-changing landscape of social media and pop culture. Their candid conversations, infused with humor and honesty, provide listeners with both entertainment and relatable insights into maintaining balance amidst chaos.

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For a more immersive experience, subscribe to the ad-free version of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya here.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Um, I think I just won my taxes. Yeah, I just switched to H and R Block in about one minute. All I had to do was drag and drop last year's return into H and R Block and bam. My information is automatically there so I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don'T have to go digging around for all my old papers to switch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nope.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sounds like we just leveled up our tax game. Switching to HR Block is easy. Just drag and drop your last return. It's better with block. This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Sometimes the most painful part of getting.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So what happened today? What's with the attitude? What happened? You got out the wrong side of the bed. You guys. It's just not.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not the day Fat Nasty broke, career in shambles. I walked in and came on this mic. Mad as hell.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I be honest?

[Trixie Mattel]

I was mad as hell.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is how I know you and I have synergy. Because we. When you're. I came in ready and excited to film. And I think there's something in the universe where both of us, at any given time, cannot both.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. There can only be one. There can only.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's the substance. Respect the balance.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I know. Because if we were both extreme. We were both. If we were both on cloud nine, thriving. Like thriving, not surviving. At the peak of our prowess together. Too powerful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Too powerful. Can I tell you that I've been doing powerful drinking a lot, and I was just, you know, I don't know if you have any experience kind of overdoing it with substances, but.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I can imagine. I have an active imagination. I can't really relate to it, but.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I had my little DJ gig last night and I came home a Little drunk and stopped at a straight bar. Was walking home from the bar and stopped at a straight bar to heckle them. I didn't know anyone walked. Stopped at a straight bar with my little group.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, was it a straight bar with straight people?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like just, just people. And then, of course, it's LA loves this. It's vinyl DJs. I think you're screaming, sorry, it's vinyl DJs playing like records just no one knows and no one is listening to.

[Trixie Mattel]

And that's cool.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, but I, I, I like it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But it's, it's interesting that LA embraces that because it's fun to go hear random real records that you probably never heard the music.

[Trixie Mattel]

But is music nice?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, would I rather hear that or like blaring top 40? No, I'd rather hear the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I want to hear something new.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, but it made me think of these DJs walking around. If you're like a real vinyl DJ, you walk around with a giant crate of, of vinyl.

[Trixie Mattel]

Their cars are like, they, they're, it's like they moved into their cars. It's crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're in the DJ world. There's a lot of people that say that that's only like the real, that's, that's the only type of real DJing. And they don't really respect otherwise. But that lifestyle. What if you're like in New York with your crate of records on the train?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, no, I think that's actually a reality. What about, what is his name? My God, it's the guy. The super famous rich DJ who plays at the Sphere. Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you seen the fucking. You've seen these photos or videos? This guy, which 1am Y? N e or something like that. I forget what, but it's like this dude is like on a platform at the Sphere with this like the corniest AI robot visuals playing behind him. And it's like, oh, the one where.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It cracks, the glass cracks and the robot like looks in the sphere.

[Trixie Mattel]

Probably. Yeah, just like the spear.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Have you seen it at night? Up close? It is cool.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are you kidding? It's like the coolest thing ever. It's cool, but it's like you're just gonna do some robo robot AI to like. It's like a vici kind of music. It's just like, I feel like it's so nerve.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, also, he's probably getting paid like, I don't know, $6 million a gig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, these these famous DJs make so much money.

[Trixie Mattel]

So much money. And also I was. Somebody told me the. The cost of just getting that place, like the cost of running that place is so astronomically high. All that video with all that equipment and all that. It's just wild.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How fun, though.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, but I think if you're a.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

DJ and you're fucking playing the sphere of it, like, love that.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you better be in a pink harness getting thrown around. I don't want to see you on a platform answering emails.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because you're not doing anything live in real time. It's all pre done. It's gotta be.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Maybe, I don't know.

[Trixie Mattel]

What is he doing? Is he chat roulette? Is he doing. Is he talking to underage girls? Is he doing chatterbait? Is he doing video poker?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, you're gonna have to ask whoever. Did you look up who it is?

[Trixie Mattel]

What is it? That's it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I don't think I've heard that person.

[Trixie Mattel]

Me neither. But, you know, we're not straight. Well, you don't do Molly every day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Straight. Well, I do think straight dance music is very different. It's very different than the gay DJs. And the gay music is fun. And I guess I like the music to be fun, you know? Can I tell you what happened to me yesterday?

[Trixie Mattel]

Sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so this is crazy. Not that crazy. It's a good story, though. So, okay, Saturday night I went to this new bar in West Hollywood called Rooster Fish. And this very nice young DJ came up and was tall, handsome, started talking to me and we were talking about music. Yeah, I was like, I love the music you're playing. Great. He goes, don't you have a gig tomorrow? And I go, yes, I do. He said, I'm gonna come to the gig. I said, okay. So then I'm playing last night at the High Top. Los. Los Feliz. Feliz. I don't know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. It depends on who you are.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And Los Felizzi McGuire.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And so I'm playing and I look up and I see, oh, that's that tall handsome dj. So I go and I give him a hug and I go, oh, my God, you did come. I said, I'm playing some of the music you played last night. I played that Million Dollar Bill Frankie Knuckles remix. I said, I played, you know, that Heidi Montag song. I said, I'm playing all of this fun music that you played. I hope you have fun tonight.

[Trixie Mattel]

He's like, in the suede for copyright infringement.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no. He was like, yeah. He was like, okay. And I thought, is he mad that I'm playing some of the same music? Cause when you go hear a dj, you. You hear music you like and you go play it. That's what we do. And I talked to him again later, and he goes, do you want to get it? Do you want to drink? I said, yeah, you know, how's. You like the music? Yeah, I was having some, and I was talking about some DJ shit. He's like, yeah, okay. So then later in the night, he comes up and he goes, I like the music. And I said, thank you. He goes, I have to tell you something, though. I'm not who you think I am. I'm not a dj. I don't know what you're talking about. And I went, oh, that's why. When I was talking about the music, you were like, okay, what? He goes, I don't know who you think I am. We met at the Suit Supply at Century City Mall. And I was like, oh, no. I was like. I was like, I've been coming up to you.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is so. I love that you just went with it, though.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I said, I've been yakking your ear off. And I said, I feel a lot better about some of the mistakes I've been making tonight because I thought you were, like, here to critique me. I was like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought he was gonna be like, honestly, I gotta tell you, don't steal my shit again.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He was obviously very nice and too nice to tell me right off the bat what the are you talking about?

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. It's like when they say. Like when they. When they keep. When they insist on mispronouncing your name or calling you something healthy and you just go with it. Just go. My name's Jessica. That's right, Jessica. With three S's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like when the people call you Trixie.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, it is so fierce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People call you Trixie. They yell tricks.

[Trixie Mattel]

They do. They yell it in public, and they make a. They make a big, flagrant, embarrassing display. Embarrassing for me, for them, for everybody.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, you know what we talked about on one of the live shows? We said that maybe this is the year of. Of equity, and we make it the Katya and Trixie program.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not ready for that. Not in this. Not in this day and age.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But if we put you first, then.

[Trixie Mattel]

I would have to show up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right now. It's very up in the air. Yeah. The Trixie and Katya. Yeah, we can add a question mark after your name.

[Trixie Mattel]

Trixie and dot, dot, dot. Shia.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yes, girl. Did a lot of alcohol this weekend. Did a lot of alcohol.

[Trixie Mattel]

Tell me about the hangover. Were there any.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Baby doll, Honey, baby, wait, hold on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Before you get into that, I'm gonna roast you over the coals for something.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What happened?

[Trixie Mattel]

You're a musician. You're a dj, You're a music lover. You're a music player. You're multiple instruments. Proficiently played. Why in the gods, green earth and hell did I roll up into your house and watch Amelia Perez with no sound?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

She has this. She has a TV bigger than the Blue Banana. In the most gorgeous house that you've ever been to. The most gorgeous house. Every detail is thought over.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why random?

[Trixie Mattel]

Amazingly. And. And the sound from a Walkman is coming out of this tv. And that was a good thing because I didn't. Nobody really wants to hear this movie. But it was like, so be. But I was like, you turn it up. You got to turn it up for the Sex Change song. What was going on? You've been watching TV like that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. So she comes over and she's, you know, we're watching Amelia Perez. And she goes, this is your sound mama. You need a sound bar. And I was not to be a fag, but I was like, it's going to look weird in this room. It's going to be like a big black bar, whatever. And so you can hide that shit the next day. JBL. Hello. JBL, if you're watching JBL. Sent me a 1300X for my living room soundbar, woofer and little speakers in the corner. Hooked that shit up.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mama lit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was like butterfly in the sky.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was like the sphere. It was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It honestly felt like I was watching television for the first time.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm telling you. Thank you, Joanne, Barbara, Leslie, whoever at.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

JDL sent that to me. I looked it up. It's $1,300. I really appreciate it because you said, you need a sound bar, you need a woofer. And the next day I got one as a gift. So maybe you're psychic.

[Trixie Mattel]

Maybe. I don't know. But I've had my Sonos thing for a grip. A grip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A grip. Honey, that's a grip. That's a long time. Imagine the grip.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Imagine the grip.

[Trixie Mattel]

I've been watching that bitch. I've been watching that bitch. And I have been reading. I have been. Oh, my God. Listen. I don't. It's so funny. I don't know. I think it was Tyler, the creator or some funny person online who said cyber bully. Just get off the Internet. Walk away from the phone, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That is funny. Can I say but that girl, this girl on.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm gonna say at Care by Cara. Oh God, I follow her.

[Trixie Mattel]

I do too. I do too. I like it too. But at first it was a little.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Weird cuz it's dancing in the grocery store.

[Trixie Mattel]

But. But also the content is also very specious. Specious and. And suspicious. But who doesn't give anybody trying to give you advice on Instagram? Don't trust them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, this is what I thought.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't trust them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

First of all, people in the comments say mean things about how she looks, which I don't fucking get down with. Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but imagine the grip is pretty amazing though that somebody commented.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Imagine the grip because she is extremely physically fit.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, she is. Yes, yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it's a crazy thing to comment, but like we were on a plane and I opened the comments and this, this girl, she's her whole M.O. on the Internet is to suggest healthy alternatives to foods. So if she's like you like lay's potato chips, these have less sugar and less this. As far as toxic presence on the Internet, she has none. Like that's a pretty nice thing to do for the world trolls.

[Trixie Mattel]

She has many and she doesn't give a fudge.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People comment mean shit to her and she's just like, have a good day. Yeah, I love that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So the more I watched her, the more, the more I'm like, oh wow, she's right. Hydrogenated flour. Okay. Like I'm like, there is wild shit in food. But. But what were we talking about?

[Trixie Mattel]

So no, the Sonos bar, the grip. I've had it for a grip, which I think is slang for a long time. Could be wrong. Anyways, the. I've had a Sonos bar surrounds surround, left and right surround speakers and a subwoofer for like three years or something. And then I got this, got a Best Buy credit card just so I could buy this giant ass TV.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then you get like 20 off.

[Trixie Mattel]

When you sign up for thousand dollars off that. And she's huge, big fat person. And I paid it all off. Thank you. Thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Will you get store money back too?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't care about that. I cut that shit up, I throw it away. No, no, I'm never using that again. It's got a probably 68 interest rate.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But next time you need like a washer and dryer at Best Buy girl, you will get like hundreds of Dollars back you can use on batteries. Whatever.

[Trixie Mattel]

I didn't want a dead baby. Well, why'd you come to Best Buy? Do you know that one? You don't know that one?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, it's spooky.

[Trixie Mattel]

But let me tell you about condominium complexes that are built with balsa wood and tissue paper.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's talk about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay? I realize that building things is is expensive and that if you're a contractor or you're a landlord or you're a property developer, you're investment real estate entrepreneur. You probably don't want to, you know, throw in marble countertops and incredible like wooden fixtures and all this bullshit that's cost a lot of money that you're going to choose the shittiest, cheapest options for most of the. The materials in the each unit, the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cabinets, the light fixtures, everything's gonna be econo medicine.

[Trixie Mattel]

The mirror, the medicine cabinet is gonna be made out of toothpaste scrap, like pencil shavings and toothpaste. And then all the knobs are gonna be little acorns that you find in the yard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's like, gonna be like. It's just. And then all of the walls that you share between units are gonna be made out of paper mache or balsa wood.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you saying balsa?

[Trixie Mattel]

Balsa wood is the very thin breakable wood that you make models out of that the architectural students.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Balsam.

[Trixie Mattel]

Balsam.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it's balsam, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

Balsam. Okay. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, is balsa real Bosu ball?

[Trixie Mattel]

Maybe. Yeah, maybe it's balsam. Yeah, it is balsam wood. That extremely thin light, you know, that you make little models out of. That's what's going on here. That's what's going on here.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Balsa wood.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hate it. I hate. And. And tell me why.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I loved your old house.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, Now I love it. Now I can't. And now I think about her every.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Day when I go to her. When I go to the Hollywood Reservoir. I always walk by your house on the way down, and I'm always like, there's that beautiful house.

[Trixie Mattel]

So many, so many cons to that house. Way too expensive for the square footage, no sidewalks, people driving around like a fast and furious Tokyo drift. But they're. What I had in that house is something I do not have now. And I know this is probably a very unrelatable problem, this first world problem, whatever. I have no privacy. I designed this whole little den in the only room that has no shared wall with any other unit. I'm at the end. So we only share with one unit. Tell me why in the motherfucking hell my little jerk off room. I can hear and feel everything that's going on in the building. Like a psychic, like Della Reese in that angel like show. Like, I feel like I feel everything. The only room that has no adjoining walls. I hear them sneeze, I hear them cough. I hear them talk. I hear them walk.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Damn.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm trying to yank it to Jason Momoa's butt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right. Well, you could soundproof or move. Why don't you just move?

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm moving. But in order to do that. Oh, I'm not going to complain about this anymore. The last thing I'm going to say is I spent about. I would estimate I would spend about 18 hours researching soundproofing materials and how to do it. And I'm like, I'm not turning my whole plug in place into a recording studio just so I can jerk off. I'm getting out of here.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right? I've never been to your new house.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because it's nothing to go to. Although our managers, cleaning ladies, you know, I'm a pig. I'm a big fat baby pig. Big fat baby pig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mu dang.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm mu dang, but with none of the charm. And I am disgusting. And this is a space that's too big for me, you know? And I. It has got. It's got. So nasty and gross and disgusting. These whores came in and they're like, game on, bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

They came in for eight hours. When they left this fucking place looks like Versailles.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Really? Oh, really?

[Trixie Mattel]

They whooped that shit. They beat that bitch with a bat and then broke the bat and then bought another bat and then came back with another bat and beat that bitch with a bat again. Broke that bat. Etc. Etc. They did incredible. Incredible. But I want to get.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How much was it there?

[Trixie Mattel]

It was. They. For the entire day. Eight hours. It was 450.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wow.

[Trixie Mattel]

Deep clean, though. This. I'm talking mold. I'm talking, like, very, like, nasty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My old cleaner used to do a really good job. But I don't know if I told you this. Did I ever tell you that my cleaner just hit somebody in the garage?

[Trixie Mattel]

Love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hit somebody in the parking garage, hit a car. And the building manager had to send me a video and said, somebody from your guest spot backed into a car. And I said, that's weird. And let's say my housekeeper's name is Beth. I texted Beth and said, beth's been cleaning for me since 2015. So Beth. And I am like, come on, girl. Yeah. This is an avail of honesty, Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Without papers.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I think that that could have been part of it, which even so, I'm like, beth, I'm not gonna sell you out, diva, but you got to tell me if you hit somebody, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

You don't know that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I guess, but because every time you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Say, you're like, hey, Beth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. So I text Beth, I go, beth, did you. Did you in the garage? She goes, no. And I just send her the video. And then she goes, yeah. And I was like, oh, well, okay. Love that. I just felt bad because if she would have told me I would have just covered it, which I did. When you have a condo building, if one of your guests does something, you are responsible for their actions. So I just covered the $5,000.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. But then I just had to stop. I just felt the trust was kind of broken that I didn't get it, you know?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I got new housekeepers, and they do an okay job, but Miss. Miss Beth went in. She did wonderful work.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sweetie, Marisol is going to blow your mind. Mirror's going to take.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She.

[Trixie Mattel]

You think you're going to walk in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love the name Marisol.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's fabulous. Yeah. She and her. Her compatriot and I. And I gave him a walkthrough. I was like, you don't have to do this room. This is the guest room. It was kind of storage. It's a little embarrassing. And I showed them the drag room. It's like, you really don't have to do this, because I can't expect that you'll know where to put all this stuff. And I don't. Like, you'd have to stress about it, girl. I come back, they did both rooms flawlessly, Perfectly, flawlessly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I have their numbers?

[Trixie Mattel]

Absolutely, you can. And I went up to my bedroom because they were there all day. I went out, got breakfast. I came back, and I was so tired. I looked at my bed, and I was like, what the fuck? How do you make a bed like that? You bounce the nickel off that bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, better than any hotel. I'm serious. Better than any hotel I've ever stayed at. You know, I love to stay at 16 star hotels.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

She do Four Seasons flop, Ritz Carlton flop.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

None of these places could ever achieve the level of cleanliness, tidiness, and beautiful aesthetic perfection than Ms. Marisol.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Imagine the fold. You know. You know what I don't get down with? They call it hospital corners when you fold beds. These are the hospital.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not trying to be restrained in my.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't. When you get in my feet are. You guys. My feet are almost 13. Men's 13.

[Trixie Mattel]

And when they curl and I have.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

To lay curl and crank, they curl and snapped.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah. Cramped, snapped feet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And when I'm jerking it in the hotel bed, I want to wiggle. My feet are restrained.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. I got to go. I got to go around the. Around the bed and undo it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have to get. I have to hook it up to truck chains on my car, to drag the ends of the gu. You know, I'm traumatized. Because when Iggy Azalea and I did that, that thing once, we went and we made some hotels beds together for like a. For untrucking motel. Iggy used to clean hotel rooms. And she said that like 80% of the time, people don't change the sheets. She said they'll take whatever wet towel from the bathroom, they'll pull back the sheet and go like this to like dust off with a semen or what have you.

[Trixie Mattel]

I am not never staying in a hotel again.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And she says, you know, I. She says, like the. She says, there's. She says. She told me that you could not count the number of times she found like sex devices in the bed. Like dildos and stuff. Well, you know, and. And calm. Towels in the bed.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I duh. Because, I mean, what did I do the other. Just three days ago, woke up with a butt plug in my ass. Not in the towel.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Take a break. Hello, girls. Today's Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our little friends at Ritual. Okay, I gotta tell you, this is not just a getting old thing. This is. Ladies, let's be vulnerable. Seems like everything is connected to my guts and my insides these days. I mean, my stress level, my mental health, my diet, on the road. I mean, the way my body. Body processes caffeine, like sugar, like for me, everything goes into whether or not my insides are having a great day. I don't know if you're one of those people, but it's just, it's true. It's the absolute truth. And we're learning so much about how the gut microbiome is key to our mental health, our immunity, and of course, our digestion. So if you're looking for digestive support, ritual has got your back, or rather your biome with symbiotic plus a 3 in 1 supplement of clinically studied pre, pro and postbiotics to support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. And if you do take this already, like I have to tell you guys, if you don't realize this, a lot of probiotics break down during digestion before they even reach your colon. So it can be irritating spiritually, but also, you know, not help with the real irritation. Because not only are you not getting all those microbiotics safely down to your microbiome, but the early breakup of the capsule can just irritate your whole system. That's why Ritual Symbiotic plus is designed with a delayed release capsule to help reach the colon. An ideal place for biotics to grow and thrive. What I like about it is that it's super easy. I, Brian Firkus cannot be trusted with any sort of self care that is involved or takes a lot of effort because guess what? You can barely get me to floss and drink water people. Okay, if it was up to me I would be a hardened carved out shell and you know the fast food would have eaten me from the inside years ago. But I'm trying to turn that all around and take better care of myself. But I need it to be easy and with just a once a day little mint scented capsule it's just super easy to streamline my gut support. And what I also like about it as well is that it's a 3 in 1 probiotic and postbiotic which has 2 of the world's most clinically studied probiotic strains to support gut and digestive health. Because if I'm going to go out of my way to be good to myself, it better be worth it. So get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with ritual symbiotic plus get 25% off your first month at ritual.com bald that's ritual.com bald for 25% off your first month still.

[Trixie Mattel]

Getting around to that fix on your car? You got this on ebay. You'll find millions of parts guaranteed to fit. Doesn't matter if it's a major engine repair or your first time swapping your windshield wipers. Ebay has that part you need ready to click perfectly into place for changes big and small, loud or quiet. Find all the parts you need at prices you'll love. Guaranteed to fit every time. But you already know that. Ebay thinks people love eligible items only. Exclusion Supply we're so done with New Year.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

New you this year it's More youe on Bumble.

[Trixie Mattel]

More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially that one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Geminis because you know you always like them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

More of you dating with intention because you know what you want. And you know what? We love that for you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Someone else will too be more you this year and find them on Bumblebee. I would like to ask all these cameras, where the 50 year olds at? Where the oldies at? Why aren't you Me?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do you mean why am I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Gonna dig deep Dick down by Oldie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dick they're all partnered. They're all married and partnered.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, that's right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They all locked it down earlier.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, but they're everyone. They're all slutty and open and nasty and rotten. Why are you shoving your 50 degree down my throat and my butt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're all ate up.

[Trixie Mattel]

60 degree, 60 degree cocks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're all ate up with herbivorous. They're all ate up.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like, where are them old dicks at? I want to ride your old fucking gray dick, bitch. Bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it too soon for another break?

[Trixie Mattel]

You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you think you never have a boyfriend ever?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you feel like. Do you feel like Whoopi Goldberg? I don't want somebody in my house. Remember that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, here's the thing. Like, I've said it before, and I know because it's been so. I've had this feeling for so long, Mama, I'm not doing sleepovers and I'm not doing house. We're not doing house things. We're not sleeping in the bed. We're not sleeping in the house together.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't like the man to hug and kiss. You don't like the cuddling.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love that. And then go home.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't like the cuddling. You don't like the cuddle.

[Trixie Mattel]

Watching, cuddling, of course. And then go home. Mama, when it's sleep, it's sleep or death. If you interrupt my sleep for more than two nights, we got death on the table, Right? Murder. Because everybody. Mama, you think, plot twist, flash, news flash, everybody snores.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Would you ever get a sleep apnea machine?

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I'd love that. Not to wear just a half iron lung. Put me in the iron lung. You can sleep in the corner.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I don't. I wonder if you just.

[Trixie Mattel]

You snore. Everybody snores. Everybody snores.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I wonder if it's hard for people to sleep with those on or if your husband or wife does. Is that hard?

[Trixie Mattel]

I think that I am. I'm truly shocked and very impressed and flabbergasted by the amount of people who do sleep in the same bed together for years and years and years and years and years.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They love it, I guess. Co sleeping. People sleep with their kids. Oh, yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I know. I mean, my brother and his wife, they had their little infant boy that he would. He slept with them all the time. He was sleep by himself.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Co mingle, you know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Co sleep family. Co sleep.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. But Mayim Bialik breastfed her children into their teens and then.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I didn't know that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah. It's crazy. But I mean, not their teens, but, you know, talking. I feel like you're, you're, you're.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know too much about this because I read about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. When your child can recite the Iliad, they should not be sucking edge from your breast.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, experts say that anything between 2 and 7 is an acceptable bracket to stop, like, breastfeeding. Yeah, they said that. That's. I think it's even 2 to 9. I looked it up one day. Yeah, I think it's wild to be like, I got to stop by my kids second grade class and give them milk.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think, you know, my tit in the middle of the class.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just. Inconvenient. Yeah, I guess I don't mean wild. I mean like, God, your life's going to be like. You might as well. You know what it's like in True Blood when you're some vampires human and you're just like waiting for them to shit out of you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Totally.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My children with their adult teeth coming in, nibbling on my breast chom, chomp.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I told you about this and I really want to tell you about it again. I want to. I really want to have $2 billion entrepreneurial ideas. You know about Sky Med. I want to do also the little construction little. What do you call them? Outdoor pergola, Outdoor bubbles. Little. The bubble path. The little on the, say in the airport terminal. You know how you can't go outside?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you're dying for some fresh air. You're dying for it. You're dying for it. So you go into the little deck, you get your little fresh air. No problem. You go. You're like, I'm dying for a cigarette. Oh my God. I smoke. And I'm in the airport. I got to delay. I'm gonna lose my mind and I don't want to go out and back through security. You go to a smoking patio. Boom, boom, boom. Like, oh, I'm a mother with a young infant. Our plane was delayed. I need to breastfeed. I don't want to do it in the terminal. Boop. Go to the little breastfeeding pergola outside. Why, why can't that happen?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They have those little.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, they don't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, they do. They have. What do you call, lactation suites? They're like little pods. Private pods.

[Trixie Mattel]

At which airport?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A lot of them. Haven't you ever seen them? They're called like.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I'm talking about outside.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm a woman. I'm a woman who's fresh air is the only thing that, that just distracts from the pain of my 16 year old toddler chomping on my titty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm not talking about a meditation.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not a million dollar idea.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no. But it's. It's not a million dollar idea. But it could be fun. And buy skymed profits.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People should just go breastfeed, wherever, whenever they want.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You have to go outside. Why do you think women have to go outside? I don't think they like a dog.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's another one. Doggies in the airport. Mary, you need to go outside, do the little doodle and pee pee.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, they have those little fake. Fake grass areas.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's great. Love it. And I'm not talking about some glass cube in the middle of the Amsterdam airport.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's crazy. This, the social experiment, the smoking chambers in these other countries, Italy, the like smoking. It's like a giant phone booth with just people.

[Trixie Mattel]

The way that I went into that Tokyo airport. And I mean, this is a while ago. Every year it changes all the time. There's no more smoking rooms in Atlanta airport. The way that I went into this fucking sauna, a dry sauna of smoking. It was so disgusting, so humiliating, so eye opening. It was like me and, I don't know, 45 other men in a room a third of this size smoking cigarettes with. I can't even see you because the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Smoke is so thick, the glasses turn yellow.

[Trixie Mattel]

You walk out, you smell like the cat's ass. And then you get on an airplane and you stink up that plane. It's so fucked up. That's why you need a little outdoor juice to vape.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Smoking is corny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, vaping.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't mean to like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Vaping is more corny. I think vaping is cornier and it's more prevalent.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Vaping is definitely corny.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's super corny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Very corny.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's very widespread.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, I love everyone, but you look corny Boots. When you're somewhere and you pull out your thumb drive, you look corny Boots.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you think. Would you rather do that or the carburetor?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The carburetor.

[Trixie Mattel]

The rig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The carburetor.

[Trixie Mattel]

The rig. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, when I was on English teacher, they had that MacBook Pro that I was like smoking that shit.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I couldn't even wrap my fingers around it. And now they have like finger indents. I'm like, do you need to grip the shit out of this?

[Trixie Mattel]

Imagine the grip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Imagine the grip. Can I tell you about the hangovers I had this weekend?

[Trixie Mattel]

I was going to ask you. I know you get mad when you drink.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do. Because if we're saying smoking's corny, drinking too much and Being hungover is very fucking corny. Being hungover is corny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Boots, isn't your whole day ruined?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. It's like, oh, and then you're trying to eat and you have party pants. You're just like wet, shitting. You're just wet, shitting party pants. Oh, yeah, just wet. You're bloated. You're like. Your face. Your face swells to, I think, twice the size. Party pants. Party pants filled with shit. No, like, you constantly feel like you have to go. You're like, your body's your are. I mean, listen, I have a vodka and I own a bar. I have a vodka and I own a bar. So I don't want to be a traitor to my cause because I think of a fun, lovely cocktail with the girls. This is just your body.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is just your body.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nobody else experiences this because you know what it is? I'm always the most hungover and I don't even drink the most. My body just loves to be hungover.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because you're gay, I guess.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But gay people are allegedly good at drinking. Shelby and Dolly up in the club.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are you. Is it because you're not drinking, you're not hydrating and taking your woman's once a day multi or what's going on?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You got it. You got to eat dinner. You can't drink on the empty stomach. You can't drink an empty stomach. That's.

[Trixie Mattel]

I do. I go to empty Stomach to the bar. I down tequila, then red wine, then I switch to beer, then I switch alcohol straight to bed, no water. What's the problem then?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't handle. You know, they say that men have a lower pain threshold than women. That's definitely true for me. I'm worse than everyone. Any amount of illness. When I'm hungover, I think that people should stand around my bed and like, sing Amazing Grace and, like, pray for me.

[Trixie Mattel]

The priest should come and Deliver Last words 100%.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I have. You know, we've done those before, the iv. You know, I'll text Jason. That's like my most humiliating indulgence is getting hungover and texting the nurse.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, you're literally like Gwyneth Paltrow and contagion.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. I just need to. And I don't know. I don't know what I think it was just the fires, everybody being off work, the inauguration. Everything was very YOLO lately. And I think, you know what we're supposed to be doing. Dry January and what is it, the 18th today. A little behind on that shit, aren't I? Like, I got 10 more days to do dry January, but I don't think.

[Trixie Mattel]

You can really make up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, now it's going to hang over into fab. I got a rollover plan.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're going to do the shortest day, the shortest month of the year. Really, Mary, Cutting corn. I know, I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

February, was it three weeks.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then also, you know, I didn't love being terribly. I didn't love being too skinny for so long, but I certainly do love to get bloated with alcohol and eat a lot of food. Girl.

[Trixie Mattel]

I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's something. One drink up.

[Trixie Mattel]

The drunk.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

One drink. I'm like, oh, we're getting McDonald's. Oh, we're getting Taco Bell. Oh, we're doing it all. Last night I had a. I'm a vegetarian. Last night I had a McChicken, a cheeseburger and French fries and a Diet Coke and is in a shake.

[Trixie Mattel]

You got a Diet Coke.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You like that love? I don't like normal Coke.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think that's so wild and crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Normal Coke's too thick, too syrupy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Diet Coke takes like gasoline.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Delta work is going to come chop your little leg.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I know. I watched that whole. I watched that. That whole segment where she located every single soda. That was so. That was so incredible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait a minute.

[Trixie Mattel]

So incredible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you watching Drag Race? I'm not either, but I love to get the clips on the Internet. And I don't know her name, but this one girl. This is really fierce. Okay. Everybody's gonna be mad in the comments. Cause this one girl, I don't know who they are. This one girl goes to this other girl. Hey, I know we're lip syncing and I just wanna let you know, like, I'm pretty confident and I'm sorry you're gonna go home. It's such a hunty thing to say before the lip sync is like girl diva. Normally they have your headphones in and you're like, we're in this together. I love you. This girl was like, like, you're gonna go. Because I'm like, I'm me. So it's pretty country.

[Trixie Mattel]

She win?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know. She did.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is so fierce. It's like, just so that you, like. I mean, I feel like it's probably. I just want to give you a heads up. You're trash. And I'm amazing. So.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you have your bags back right now?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're you. I'm. I'm me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's pretty fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

I've indicated I'M receptive to an offer. I've cleared the month of June. And I am, after all, me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Exactly.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. That's wild. I mean, that's the way I felt with, like, right before Kennedy. I was like. And she knew it too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Everyone knew it.

[Trixie Mattel]

She knew she had the broom out. She's like, I'm gonna sweep your ass. I have to sweep your ass off this stage.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Kennedy, what kind of God. She just. I pray for her body. All the girls, you know, I got drunk. I mean, like, from what she puts her body through. I know. Pray for her body.

[Trixie Mattel]

Big fat, ugly ass body that roll.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. When she, like, back flips off a stage, I'm like, oh, God.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. She. She's over 40.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What I did the other night was drunk. I was in a group and we were doing that gay thing where you like, let me show you this, let me show you this. And somebody handed me their mountain. Like, show me some of the drag that you like. Watching the videos. And I go, okay, so what did I bring up?

[Trixie Mattel]

I brought up surprise.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I brought up like, oh. I brought up Detox doing Mannequin.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cuz I thought, if you're like a.

[Trixie Mattel]

Straight person, let's think of Boy Bar 1992. That would be the only thing I would show.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I haven't seen that.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's the best drag number ever done it, period.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it the one with the phone?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Maybe I have seen it. What?

[Trixie Mattel]

You must have seen it. Barbara, please. Please, Barbara.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, then we watched RuPaul and SNL. Designing women. That is my shit.

[Trixie Mattel]

So funny. So funny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then we watch when she's at the library reading and RuPaul goes, Eloise, girl, bye. And puts the book down. So fucking funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

I also love when in the Brady Bunch movie with Jan as the guidance counselor. That's a great RuPaul moment.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Very good RuPaul moment. What else did we watch? Oh, we watched Read. You wrote. You.

[Trixie Mattel]

Reggie wrote you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Reggie. Oh, sorry. Reggie wrote.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just learned that it should be. Reggie wrote you about 15 years after.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We did Anthem of Literacy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's funny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Great number, Great number, Great number. You did great. And then also we were watching. I watched. I wanted to show them your number of, like, to be a survivor. And they made whatever.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Your Christian number.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I looked it up from the season seven premiere.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God, Yankin.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you're in this short wig with the teased outsides, which I think I made. I think I Remember doing that?

[Trixie Mattel]

You did. I was probably in Chicago.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. And you came out in this robe and then you take it off. Girl, I haven't seen you do like that. First of all, we were younger. You are so stretchy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. I was in the video. Flexible. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The legs straight, the open. God, you're so thin.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I was. I. I wasn't. And I wasn't really muscle Tony. Right? You weren't just, like, muscular. No, no. But Mary, I missed them. Oh, my God, I missed that. I miss having that ability. I was so. Not just so flexible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You were doing like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, my. Like, I was so. And I was. And I was strong in my hips. Like, I do those slow splits and then control, bounce and stuff and not hurt myself. And it was. That's the only. It's funny. That's the only goal I have in 2025 that I feel like it's achievable. It's not to get better and perfect in every other way. It's just to get my straddle split. I'm working every day on it. You are? Yes. And I don't. I don't. It doesn't seem like it's going to happen, but I'm going to keep trying.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's harder? The one leg out, one leg out, or both legs apart?

[Trixie Mattel]

For me, front splits are so easy because it's just a hamstring and hip flexor on each side. But because I don't know that this is just. The straddles always been elusive to me. I've never been able to do it. Straddles, but like Van Damme. Yeah. Also you're gonna do frog pose a lot, which. But I mean, if you get. If you're a bottom, you probably know what frog pose is because. Probably get in that position. You.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Gay people love to do gay stuff. I know they love to do sex. I worry about gay people. Like, I'm not, you know, I'm not conservative per se, but lately gay people. Sexual behaviors on the Internet. Lately I'm like, what do you think? Whatever happened to Amanda? Kiss and hug? Whatever happened to kissing and touching? Whatever happened to kissing and touching?

[Trixie Mattel]

Kissing, touching and loving and hugging?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Listen, I'm a friend of mine.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Maybe those people are having that type of sex. They're just not filming and putting the Internet because it's real. You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. It's not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's probably what it is.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not Fear Factor.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not Fear Factor. It's not.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not Jessica Jones.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I know we all want to see the load in porn. We want to see the come out of the. Out of it into the mouth. I'm trying to keep that shit airtight so my taste buds don't get activate. You know what I mean? Like the mouth open, earbud. Like taste buds come to the mouth looking straight at the camera.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not to mention you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Facials are facials.

[Trixie Mattel]

Make me laugh, sweetie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also the eyelids. Try not to blink because you get the come in the eye.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also, mama, you could be Tom Hardy. You could be Jason Momoa. You could be Richard Gere, Pretty Woman. You could be Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones. You be any number of extremely hot 10 out of 10 heartthrob. And your. Your jizz in my mouth is a non negotiable.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Really?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't want that. It's gonna. It's gonna taste like bloop. I don't want it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, not me, girl. Call me the babysitter because I'm taking your kids. All right? Call me cps. I'm taking them.

[Trixie Mattel]

I heard a new expression that was. It was. What is it? Baby sauce. No, what was it? It was. It was. It was baby. No, it was like. It was like. It was like made sense. It wasn't baby dad or baby. It was like, let me take your. You're.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're. It's like, oh. It was like. Oh. It was like applesauce, but not that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was like, guess who's jealous of applesauce, baby.

[Trixie Mattel]

By the way, I watched I while. So I was languishing and fuming, absolutely fuming in my drag studio with my crepe paper wall separating me and my neighbors, whose conversation. Whose vowel inflection. I know every word.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The wall is grammar cracker.

[Trixie Mattel]

That would be actually very thick. This is like a shaved down Triscuit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, like a Japanese, like, tea house. Those paper was.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, it's seaweed. Yes, Se dried seaweed. And I was listening to Wendy William Killer compilations, of course. And it's just incredible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's amazing. The killer.

[Trixie Mattel]

There's the killer. That one minute super cut of the killer. Then there's two separate 35 minute ones about the killer. And she is. I was just like. I was just really into it. Very into it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've seen some drag that I really like on the Internet. I feel like we're in this era of post drag where now all the numbers are like, subverting the expectation of the drag performance being glamorous. So like I told you, that the girl. That girl I love, too, did, since you've been gone, and just walked out of the club and got in her car and drove away. And the people are watching, like, work, and she just is getting in her car, starts it, and in her wig, hangs her head out the. In, like, lip syncs. Driving away down the street and left the club. She just went home in the middle of the road. I was like, this is awesome.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I saw. I watched a clip from a girl who I think is perhaps on Drag Race, and it was not the girl, but a fan posted it, and they said, this has got to be the most sticking talent show in the history of the Drag Race franchise, period. All French, all, what do you call it? Franchises. And it was just a little Wiggle Lip Sync number. I was like, what's so sickening about this? It was just some girls, like, you know, I'm fierce. Look at me, I'm fierce. I'm fierce. And that's like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, you know what else I watched the other night, too. Have you ever seen that clip of Aja? This is, like, right before Drag Race, Aja in New York doing that one, like, robot number in the club. Oh, she's tweaking out, like, someone's printer trying to, like, connect to the Bluetooth. It's just fucking crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like Judy Jackson.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know if she does, like, lip sync drag anymore, but she was such a great lip syncher. She was. Yeah, she was. Jump off a cliff backwards, you know, sprain the ankle. Crazy Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you know what I got? So I called up Ms. Violet the other night, and because she's been.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Girl.

[Trixie Mattel]

That motherfucker. She is such a flake. She gives me a run for my money when it comes to flakiness. It's so funny. She's. She admits this, but we were supposed to go to a goth club the other night. She didn't call me. Whatever. So I. And I asked her. I was like, hey, do you have any footage from your performance at the Crazy Horse? Because I was talking about it with her, and I'm, like, dying to see it. I saw little clips on her Instagram, look. Really incredible. She sends me a raw cut of one of the numbers. Her favorite number. This whore.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like she's everything.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's every. It is so good. And she. She does this part. There's a part. It's on a. It's on a rotating, like, German wheel with the. With a guy. Yes. And the lighting design is so cunty. It's like a grid and then it changes and it's like a striptease and. But there's a lot of acrobatic elements. Like she hangs like from one arm and she does a straddles perfect 180 straddle split. And it's like. And it's so well executed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm like, damn, bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's every. Can I. You know, you're either a fan or you're bitter with Violet. Like either you kiss the ring or you're bitter.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because she really is amazing.

[Trixie Mattel]

She really is amazing. And she was telling me that it was tough though when she did that. She did a number with the girls and there was a lot of I think was like, you know, da da da da da. Like in succession that I saw that on her socials. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's like, she's like. I think I got it right. Maybe two out of the two nights. Two nights out of the whole run. Because the timing, the timing. And also the girls are girls. When you're working with cunty girls, some of whom want to be stars and some of whom are just. It's their nine to five dancers, the energy can be a little strained for sure. Do you know what I mean? And she's not a girl. She's a dude. And just Stanley the director would be like, you're a good looking guy. Like, it was like crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know what I would look like? I recently watched the Tiny Desk concert from Sesame Street. Sesame street did Tiny Desk and it was all these little puppets and then Big Bird. That's what I would look like. Just big and yellow and.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, you pray today.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was crazy to. You know, I love Tiny Desk. I love the wicked one. Not to be a fag, but you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Know who better not do that tiny desk? Ms. Amelia Perez. Girl, they need a huge desk.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Vaginoplasty. Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, actually it would probably work in a tiny desk. Cause it's all whispered.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Maybe the movie was a rehearsal.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I want a sex change because I'm a woman. But there's someone's in the COVID upstairs in the Mexico to get that flop.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not over it. Not over talking about it. Not until the Oscar nominations get announced this Thursday.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do you get? You're going to be up. They're going to be.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sweetie, I'm going to be out. No, I'm going to be greased up with sandwich signs ready to go outside of all the studios. All the studios.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's read to go.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, the. The Academy will not know what to do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have to tell you two other drag things that I saw that I loved. You know Madame laqueer, friend of the pod? Yeah. She did a number. She was doing that ABBA song, Lay all youl Love On Me. Don't go wasting your emotion. And she's doing the men's part, and she kind of has, like, a dress on with a bald head. You know she's bald. Famously bald. Remember that picture of all of us bald in a row? Were you there?

[Trixie Mattel]

No. Yes. I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. It's like me, you, Bob, Madame laqueer, like, bawled all over. I don't think I was Madame laqueer. She's doing Lay all youl Love On Me, and there's like a men's part and a women's part, and she's bald doing the men's part. And then she bends down and comes back up and has a huge wig on, a reverse wig.

[Trixie Mattel]

Reveal it seamless.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then it was women's voice. Then she's doing the women's parts, and she literally was like, down, up, huge wig. And I was like, incredible.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love that shit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Reverse wig.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Reveal. What else did I see that I loved? Oh, this is like, maybe from Tid Todd. But did you see on Fox News, they accidentally put. It was like TikTok Ban. And he accidentally wrote Titcock.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love it. Accidentally.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Titcock. But I just have to say, too, this other. It was, you know that song I'm Working late because I'm a singer. Espresso by, you know, Miss Sabrina Carpenter.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's. That's that B. Espresso.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right, right, right. So then she says, this drag queen has the long hair on, and she's singing, I'm working late because I'm a Reveal short hair single mom who works too hard. And then she picks up a rag and a spray bottle and starts cleaning the windows in the. In the club. That's so fierce. I think he was a Drag Race queen. I know. That's horrible.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no. There was. Okay. My. My little. I went to. This is what I talk about with Violet. I. She went on a Little Wiggle tour. I went on Wiggle tour to Australia and was like, yeah, I've never lip singing again in my life. I'm 42 years old. This is so embarrassing. Never mind wrapping it up and it. At the show, though, there was a young girl. I think she's on Drag Race down under. Her name was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I can't remember.

[Trixie Mattel]

God, Damn it. Anyways, she did a bird's number. It's like, why do birds suddenly appear? Like. And like, just so stupid. Lazy Susan.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So lazy Susan.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think. Yeah. That's so stupid. The stupidest mix. Hysterically funny. Very simple. Wonderful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's just great. Love a car, like. I love it. Like a crow sound.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're a great lip syncher. Do you really hate it now?

[Trixie Mattel]

I hate it. I think it's cool. I. For me, Yeah. I mean, I liked what I did there. I'm not embarrassed about it. But, like, I just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know. Would you just. All pink disco again?

[Trixie Mattel]

Probably not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. But if you see her on a date.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, surprise. You know how she really feels about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, the thing is that, like. Here's the thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, the reason why I don't. I mean, I'm DJing. I'm lip syncing from the nipples up, which is a lot easier than being front and center.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also, I need Mary. I need, like, I need dancers. I need rehearsal time. And then. Even then.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you need plastic surgery.

[Trixie Mattel]

I need plastic surgery. I need bone grafts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I need vaginoplasty. Yes. Mammoplasty.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. Background dancers.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. And I need. And it's like. And then what are we doing it for? I'm not Janet Jackson. Never going to be her. Let's just call it a day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you're not. No, you're not.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm Latoya Jackson.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, thank you for joining us today.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hey, listen, if you are a man or a woman, good for you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you know, it's the day of the inauguration as we film this, I just want to say Hamburglar. I'm not going to say it gets better because that turned out to kind of be a lie, that whole thing, Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

At least the Hamburglar showed up, right? Girl didn't kiss him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Girl, you see that?

[Trixie Mattel]

For the 6 to 8 inches of air kiss.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's cunty.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's so country. She's such a wild.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's really country. You know what it is? She was like, at the end of her retail shift, and her boss said, we're gonna need you to stay late to do inventory. She's like.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like, what the cat? What the. About this inauguration. I don't care about these kids. I want Christmas.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've been so focused on him, unfortunately, that when I saw her walk in, I kind of forgot that she's gonna be first lady again. And I have to laugh. I just have to laugh and all.

[Trixie Mattel]

Them ugly ass kids o that dog patch of children. Dog patch dogs. They all look like they're the missing link. All right, see you next week.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bye.

[Trixie Mattel]

Ra.