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Narrator/Announcer
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Darby Lynn Cartwright
Winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders that perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done. Hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic.
Host/Interviewer
Wait a minute, I'm screeching. Is this yours?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay, listen.
Host/Interviewer
Are you for real right now? Are you for real right now? Okay, so what is this? Your lip gloss?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It has it for now. I'm trying. Okay. I'm allergic to talc. I'm allergic to talc.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, talc is in everything right on the microphone.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Are we recording?
Host/Interviewer
We've been recording.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I'm allergic to talc. Where's my camera? I'm alert. I'm allergic to talc.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm gonna change my drag name to Talc.
Host/Interviewer
You know, talc is being reformulated out of a lot of products. And the problem is it does have a lot of like sweat. Sweat sucking properties.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, that I do like.
Host/Interviewer
But I know that it in it. You know There. I know why they're removing it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Because I'm allergic.
Host/Interviewer
Because you're allergic to it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Finally.
Alexis P. Bevel
I worked for two years at a makeup store. Nigel's. I saw you there.
Host/Interviewer
Oh my God. You worked at this Nigel's.
Alexis P. Bevel
I worked at that Nigel's.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So mean.
Alexis P. Bevel
I didn't like it. And I wasn't on SSRIs yet. Now I am. I've never been happier. But the problem is they're taking out
Darby Lynn Cartwright
all the Towels all the time. And she's a Republican. Who. Go ahead. Sorry.
Alexis P. Bevel
What?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
The mom from Wizards of Waverly Place. Oh, yeah, she's in God's not Dead, too.
Alexis P. Bevel
Anyway, they're taking out all the talcs and all the stuff that makes the makeup last for a long time. And then people are saying, this didn't last very long.
Host/Interviewer
And I'm like, I know, because talc has, I believe, like, it sucks up oil and also has some binding properties to it. And they're removing it because I think they're deciding it's not a. You know. I don't know. Bravo.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Bravo.
Host/Interviewer
I don't know. I don't know what they're doing at Nigel's. I don't know anything about what they're doing over there at the talc factory. But I do know that our guests today are drag icons, hilarious comedians, and two divas who have incredible homosexual opinions. Please welcome to the Bald and the Beautiful. Darby Lynn Cartwright and Alexis P. Bevel. Hi.
Alexis P. Bevel
Thanks for having us.
Host/Interviewer
Are you kidding? You know who's. You just have a target on your back.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
What?
Host/Interviewer
Tammy Brown's gonna have a target on your back. Because that reached out to me this week and was like, can I come on the pod? And I said, we're not really having guests anymore. Katya was hospitalized, and now you guys are here.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay, I did hear about that.
Host/Interviewer
Did you guys kill Katya for this?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, but. Well, I'm open to it.
Alexis P. Bevel
I had. I had a moment with a Ouija board, and I. And I asked a few questions.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She did. I'm trying that twice.
Alexis P. Bevel
Starting strong. I didn't do it out of the pipe. I sort of shotgunned it. It was Chicago, which we can talk about.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That doesn't.
Host/Interviewer
We can it. We cannot talk. But we will not be talking about Illinois.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No.
Host/Interviewer
Chicago, the Midwest, or honestly, the United States.
Alexis P. Bevel
It's. Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thankfully. We can talk about Bosnia now. Listen, I.
Host/Interviewer
What happened with the. Not the charcuterie board?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, no, wait a minute.
Alexis P. Bevel
It was fun. I was using it as a charcuterie board at the time.
Host/Interviewer
If you want to try to reach someone from Wisconsin, use a charcuterie board. Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, I would know.
Alexis P. Bevel
I took a bite. It was like the ring of a pepper. And that's what we were using is the oubliette. But listen. Yeah. And so I may have said, like, I hope Katya goes soon. Is she okay?
Host/Interviewer
I saw her yesterday. She. I mean, she's. Listen, I wouldn't say Katya's patient. I wouldn't say she Loves discomfort or inconvenience.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, sure.
Host/Interviewer
We're trust. Imagine what it's like for her to be in a hospital with a tube in her nose. I said to the nurse, I said, I'm sorry. I said, she's just not very good at discomfort. She's not very patient. Sorry about whatever she does or says.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She's gonna have dementia. Because the thing that I've seen on the Internet with your swipe is if you want to deprogram your brain and not get dementia, you're supposed. Wait, I lost it.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah, we're supposed to listen to you about not to get in dementia.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, you need to be uncomfortable.
Alexis P. Bevel
You have to.
Host/Interviewer
Need to be.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You have to get comfortable with Neil degrass Tyson camera. You have to be uncomfortable. You have to be comfortable with getting.
Alexis P. Bevel
We're sorry for what happens the. The rest of this hour.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, my God.
Alexis P. Bevel
Are you kidding?
Host/Interviewer
I feel like this is what it must be like to be with Katya and I, where you just sit there and let it happen.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, should I leave? Oh, shit. Yeah. It would actually be great. We did the Wild, Wild Web. And that's his name.
Host/Interviewer
I love him.
Alexis P. Bevel
Eric Sedan. So nice and so beautiful. You can't tell him that he has
Darby Lynn Cartwright
pecs, but in real life. I'll take my camera. He's got pecs.
Host/Interviewer
He does. And I love his little VHS setup. I love his. I know.
Alexis P. Bevel
Everything was so cute.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
He just. He. Yeah, he just kind of sat there and nodded.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah. Did you guys fuck? Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No.
Host/Interviewer
Wait, so we all know each other from Chicago.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We do.
Host/Interviewer
We've all been doing drag maybe a similar amount of time then.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yes, we were coming. We were starting as you were kind of. You had already come up and we had started in the Berlin in the Berlin heyday.
Host/Interviewer
But, yeah, I was working locally in Chicago.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Host/Interviewer
And I started to do shows with both of you. Either of you. I feel like you and I did more shows together. You were slightly newer.
Alexis P. Bevel
I was slightly newer. I was coming. I was coming in because you were
Host/Interviewer
doing any competition petitions?
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, I was doing, like, Roscoe's and. Yeah, all of it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Did you ever win?
Alexis P. Bevel
I won. I won. I actually. I lost.
Host/Interviewer
Why do I feel like, you know that she didn't.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I want to tell the story of who she lost.
Alexis P. Bevel
I won the. Oh, I lost the Miss Roscoe's competition 2004.
Host/Interviewer
I don't know when she came out of her swimsuit. Five girls quit on the spot.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes.
Alexis P. Bevel
And the one that stayed in one was Ms. Gia Gun herself.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, the boom boom gun.
Alexis P. Bevel
The boom boom gun.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You didn't.
Alexis P. Bevel
I had, you know, was I loved her. I saw her because we were both at the Party City on Western getting stuff for our night, and I saw her there, and then when I saw her at the Miss Roscoe's competition, I said, oh, my God, I saw you at Party City today. And this was post season four. Share needles and that. And so she thought I was coming for her, and she didn't really like it.
Host/Interviewer
That's fierce, girl. You know. You know, what I know about Gia is that interpersonally, she'll always give someone the benefit of the doubt, and she'll never just jump down someone's throat.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, she's very.
Host/Interviewer
You really pick the right person.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Measure. She's measured.
Host/Interviewer
But you know what, though? She's a great performer, and she's so beautiful. I would be proud to lose to her in really any scenario.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm so proud.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You should get on one of her Instagram or TikTok live. She's on there 24 hours a day. She's.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm banned from getting on people's lives.
Host/Interviewer
What you do. I think it's a little too sensitive because if you, like, go on someone's TikTok live and kill themselves or comment, like, you hear the tone, they will, like, get banned for a week. So you will get banned for people's comments, which I think is kind of unfair.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, you'll get banned for people's comments?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, I get banned for other people's comments. It's not because I've told someone that they just don't need to wake up tomorrow.
Alexis P. Bevel
She likes it. She likes to go on.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It was Alexis Michelle, but I thought it was Alexis Bevels.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, we get that a lot.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, it's my fault.
Alexis P. Bevel
She likes to go on people's lives and say, do a cartwheel.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I do. And so I want to see if they will.
Alexis P. Bevel
Who did it.
Host/Interviewer
Maybe they will.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Lana did it. Lana Jarret was walking around New York and she goes, do a cartwheel. And you know, she's 19, so she was like, of course I will.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
If someone came up to me and said, do a cartwheel, I'd say, kill yourself, then me. Right, okay. But she puts her phone down, she does the cartwheel completely off screen. You can't see.
Host/Interviewer
So what do you know? She did it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, because she ripped her pants, girl. All you hear is likely story. And I was like, oh, but I get nervous. I get nervous when I go into people's lives because I don't want to. I don't want to be talked to.
Host/Interviewer
Right.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Or acknowledged at all.
Host/Interviewer
I do. I always comment like, hi, girl. Looking good, girl. And I'll just, like, wait for them to acknowledge me, and then I'll leave that person.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes, the person who's doing it. But, like, in the comments, when people are sharing really funny things, I'm like, I can't be funny right now. Okay, she just ripped her pants. Give me a minute.
Host/Interviewer
Right?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Give me a second.
Host/Interviewer
Were they cute? Why was she in pants and drag?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She wasn't in drag. She's just wandering the streets of New York. You know, Drag Race isn't the winning thing. It used to be. Okay. You know, you used to be on Drag Race. You didn't have to live on the streets. Okay? But now we have girls out here doing cartwheels, ripping their pants. Where do they live?
Host/Interviewer
Let's take a break.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Where do they live?
Host/Interviewer
Hello.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Hello.
Host/Interviewer
Where do they live? I wouldn't choose. I will say Chicago. Something I do miss about doing drag. There is. Let's say you did your number. Let's say you're hot. It's winter. You go outside, the sweat freezes to your face. Let's talk about going in the alley and cooling down in drag.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, my God. Piss alley is what we used to call it.
Host/Interviewer
You guys were both live singers in drag shows.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
And so would the rest of us be lip syncing. And then you have the live singers. What was that all about?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, okay, so Courtney act was on tv and I said, you can do that. And I look just like her, right? Yeah. And.
Host/Interviewer
Sorry, that was a rim shot
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I used to rem when I was in my 20s and 30s.
Alexis P. Bevel
For me, it was about. I didn't feel confident in my lip syncing.
Host/Interviewer
Right. But you.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I thought it made us feel and look different. I didn't realize, like, that she was good at it, and I was.
Host/Interviewer
Well, that's also because I disagree.
Alexis P. Bevel
No, no, you're. You have the best. You have the most beautiful voice. You're my favorite person to sing with in the whole entire life.
Host/Interviewer
She sucks.
Alexis P. Bevel
I suck.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She's actually. She's. Listen, can you just give us a second? Can I see you back?
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She's. She's very talented.
Alexis P. Bevel
Well, there's a water right here for me.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
But I.
Host/Interviewer
But at what?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I have to break her. First of all. More than you expect.
Host/Interviewer
Have you seen her sourdough?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, that's what we call her Poops.
Host/Interviewer
Oh.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
So you haven't seen her from the back.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It's yeasty.
Host/Interviewer
It's yeasty. And you know, she does your hair, doesn't she? Are you saying that you only have her here to do your hair?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, and I've always said that I'm a sidekick. For sure. People will leave.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah. Who's the leader here?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Obviously. Yes, I am. Yeah, Ask me anything. Ask me anything I can do, I'll be a leader about it.
Host/Interviewer
Okay, well, who's the. Were you guys have any upcoming shows?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Alexis, tell him. I'm kidding. She doesn't know. She doesn't know.
Host/Interviewer
You know, I just. For a little insight into you guys's shows. I do, actually. Before we started, Alexis pulled this out of her dress, which I thought was a hit list. Katya's at the top. That's weird.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, she got her.
Host/Interviewer
But it's actually a set list from your show. And I guess I like that. This is about. First of all, this is already more production than Katya and I do, so I'm impressed. It's set list. One of the things says sit down.
Alexis P. Bevel
That's the part of the show where we sit down.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah. Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We even have a matching graphic so people don't get confused.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, we sit down and she makes all the graphics.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
My brother, my twin brother does. My twin brother used to be a pastor, but now he's not a pastor anymore. And so now we're like, we're reconnecting. Anyway, he goes on tour with us. Not. He probably won't join us for the next few cities. And it's just an interpersonal thing between him and me and what brothers?
Alexis P. Bevel
And we're learning he's attracted the pastor
Host/Interviewer
to graphic designer pipeline.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, he's trying to do stand up comedy.
Alexis P. Bevel
And listen, it's opening for us.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Haven't we all been to zany Chicago when we shouldn't have been?
Alexis P. Bevel
It's the best because you get a before and after of what she looks like in Dragon and out of drag.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That's rude, huh? I developed an eating disorder to look like this. What has he done?
Alexis P. Bevel
What does that say?
Host/Interviewer
This says New York.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay, so.
Alexis P. Bevel
So this was from New York.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
New York.
Alexis P. Bevel
When we performed in Brooklyn.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
At the Bell House.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We sit down, we talk about.
Host/Interviewer
Do you feel like your Broadway self pop out when you're there?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, hell yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
Well, we stayed in Times Square.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We stayed in Times Square. I wanted to stay somewhere that would
Alexis P. Bevel
be calm and close to the M and M store.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
The Eminem store.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Cuz I want my order every day. Yeah. You understand?
Host/Interviewer
Actually, Eminem's don't have rappers.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh.
Host/Interviewer
So I also. I also want to say it's nice cuz when you guys go to New York, cuz you guys do musical theater and you're annoying and there it's like very accepted. Yes, it must be. Feel like you guys going on like a birthright trip.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yes.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No.
Host/Interviewer
Oh.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I.
Alexis P. Bevel
More than me. She's not really a theater. She didn't do theater when she was little.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I did. You know nothing about me. That is true. And listen, I'm so sorry. Tracy, can you not listen to this? This is gonna be personal. You ask me over and over and over, like things that should be known, you know? Number one, I'm hung as hell. Number two, No, I do.
Alexis P. Bevel
I do know that.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, yeah, I forgot. I didn't mean to send it to you, but I'm glad you saw it.
Alexis P. Bevel
Thank you.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Number two. Yeah. Like my whole childhood you just like checked out of. And I know so much about you. You used to be a boy. Lol.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And your parents still accept you.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So I just want you to start putting in a little more effort.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm sorry you had to see that.
Host/Interviewer
Are you kidding? I talked to Katie like that all the time. Up next, current events.
Alexis P. Bevel
Okay, so that's when we say, let's talk about current events. And then we scroll our phone.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Scroll through our phone. I don't give away.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh,
Host/Interviewer
one time I went to a girl's show and she just showed memes. Do you guys ever just show memes?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay, we did have one in our first show we were trying out in Chicago. Oh, that was a little voices. Her stories don't always go well. So we were in Chicago and it was a show that was too long. We added an intermission in the middle of the show.
Host/Interviewer
Right.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And no moment. No, no, no, no.
Host/Interviewer
That's fierce. To just be like intermission.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You know what?
Host/Interviewer
Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We did say the show was 90 minutes. Ended up being like.
Alexis P. Bevel
We didn't time it or run it beforehand. So it did end up being a little bit longer.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
But for intermission, she. She just sat on the stage and. Oh, I watched TikTok.
Alexis P. Bevel
I scrolled TikToks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Stop.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, so the audience.
Alexis P. Bevel
I played Fortnite a little bit.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Talks with her. Stop.
Alexis P. Bevel
Do you play Fortnite?
Host/Interviewer
I have played Fortnite. I played with Bob once.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, I love it. It's the only game I know about.
Host/Interviewer
He yeeted me off a cliff and laughed at me.
Alexis P. Bevel
You can take fall damage did you die?
Host/Interviewer
I. I didn't. I. I think it's too hard running. Building walls and running at the same time.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I don't do build mod.
Alexis P. Bevel
I don't do build mode. I just. In the chests. That's all I do. And I like to pick my outfit.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
The. What?
Alexis P. Bevel
You. There's little.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You have tits now. You think you could just look at
Host/Interviewer
people's boobs, so you just open up people's chest. Typically, you walk up to women and just say, hey, lady.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She's never been arrested. She doesn't know.
Host/Interviewer
You know, you go to the. You go to the restroom and say, I'm here.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, I'm here. It smells like you're.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I did buy a. A shirt from Marshall.
Alexis P. Bevel
Do you like poo poo humor?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Do you like poo humor?
Host/Interviewer
It's a huge issue for me.
Alexis P. Bevel
You don't like it?
Host/Interviewer
I don't like it. I don't like it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Hate it.
Host/Interviewer
I just feel like hate it. It's not that I'm too good. It's that it's not. It's gross and it's not funny.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah. Well, the actual stuff is gross, but just like.
Host/Interviewer
But if something poop has happening to me, I make it so known, and I won't stop talking about it. So I don't know what that is. Where I want to be seen. I want to be witnessed when I'm having, like, oh, I was constipated. I'm going to talk about it.
Alexis P. Bevel
Do you want to be.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Perceived constipation is not funny.
Host/Interviewer
It's not funny.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Poo poo on a shirt and Marshalls and buying it. Anyway, she got extra.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, wait a minute. I thought there was a graphic of poop on a shirt.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, no, no. You're saying child poop.
Alexis P. Bevel
There was a brown stain that she thinks is poop.
Host/Interviewer
Hey, let's celebrate being able to fit children's clothing.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thank you so much. I'm not allowed to be around them anymore. I didn't know what to do with all the clothes I'd already bought for them.
Host/Interviewer
Okay, how are you so thin at, like, 46?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I'm telling you, first of all, you're. You're laughing about my age. However, I will be 42 in July.
Host/Interviewer
I'm not laughing. Okay. I remember when we started doing Dragon. First of all, you were married. And the fact that we were, like, 21 and we knew someone who was married, it was like, what? Also, weren't you teaching special education?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I was. Okay.
Host/Interviewer
And still are in A way.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I had this private tutor. I had this thought when Tracy asked if we wanted to come, a very good Katya died. And I was like, yes, absolutely. And there's. There's a couple moments I always tell when people bring your name up that, like now I'm just kidding myself. Yeah. Cuz they'll be like, you're. Oh, you have social media people see you before she run her on social media. She has no idea. No one was. We were in the basement of Hydrate hitting our heads on poles.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, my God. The basement of you guys. The basement of Hydrate. I'm not kidding.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
This big.
Host/Interviewer
We're in drag like this. I'm not kid Kimchi is planking and
Alexis P. Bevel
we're all dungeon crawler Carl vibes.
Host/Interviewer
And she was in her head headpiece era.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She was wearing clock. Yeah, she's wearing a clock.
Host/Interviewer
A live bird.
Alexis P. Bevel
The T bird in a bird cage.
Host/Interviewer
A live bird in a cage.
Alexis P. Bevel
Which was ethically handled. She did inform me last time we talked about it.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah, she.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You confronted her.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah, I said, oh, now if you ask her, she's like, oh, Peter was involved. It was a rescue. Now it's a whole different story.
Alexis P. Bevel
Okay, she's testing the makeup on that bird.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, but 100%. And that's why we look so good. No, you and Kim were in the corner pooling your tips.
Host/Interviewer
Yes.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Because Kim was dressed as a pea. Pea pod. And she didn't have green eyeshadow. So you were pooling your tips so that you could go run get her green eyeshadow and you could share chicken tenders from 711 because you hadn't eaten yet. So y' all shared this. And I was thinking, silly, that's why I'm a special ed teacher, because I'm never going to go hungry. Cut to. You're now super rich, and I'm hungry all the time because I moved to LA and I think I have an eating disorder.
Host/Interviewer
Let's take another break.
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
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Host/Interviewer
Today's episode of all in the Beautiful is brought to you by Yahoo. Mail Planner. You guys, I'm gonna tell you, between the calendar, between your planner, between your email, between all of it, it's so much easier when everything is not scattered. Sometimes I just feel like everything is in a million little pieces in a million places. And I'm just trying to be organized. I'm just trying to juggle, you know, a million things. And I never realized how much the juggling is half the job until recently. That's why I use Yahoo. Mail Planner. It brings your tasks and events together in one place so everything stays organized and you don't miss what matters. You guys, between me, Brandon, Nick, we have a million things. We have a musical launch, we have a YouTube channel, we have a podcast, we have a live show. We have a million things. And all of us staying connected is the only way to have any synergy at all. And with Yahoo. Mail Planner, everything is in one place, one simple view so you don't have to jump between apps or piece your whole day together. And you can see what's coming up with just a glance. Get a clear, organized view of what matters most. Appointments, deadlines, to dos so you can quickly understand your day without digging through a bunch of emails. And there's no extra steps. It's built right into Yahoo. Mail. Learn more at Yahoo. Mail now with Planner. See how Yahoo. Meal Planner actually works when you try it for yourself. I also want to say, I think it's. I also want to say I think that that story we Were trying to get Kim Green foundation to paint her face. She was wearing this thing where her face was green. And then on either side of her head, she had taken a green tap light.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes.
Host/Interviewer
And she had. With eyelashes on it. So she looks like her face was a pea in a pod.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. And she had the two pods.
Host/Interviewer
It was a day Glo party. So we were all in neons.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, we.
Host/Interviewer
And I think I wore. I think I had some kind of thing that said, like live nudes. Like a sign on my head or something. I don't know what I was doing.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I didn't have anything neon because it was very early for me. And so I still wear this as a badge of honor. I was wearing a Kahmora hall suit, a little bodysuit.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, it was too big. You want to talk expensive drag?
Alexis P. Bevel
I did Kimora hall once too, in a con in a competition at Spin nightclub.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, Spin.
Alexis P. Bevel
I missed that one in Berlin.
Host/Interviewer
Shout out to Berlin. I'm in the chat to Berlin.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You know, it's a new. It's going to be a thing now.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, Decibel. Listen.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, is Berlin reopening?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Is something reopened to be like a festival, right? No, it's a restaurant.
Alexis P. Bevel
It's already opened.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, good for them.
Host/Interviewer
Berlin was really fun and magical. Talk about a time of really like a free for all in drag. Everything was wild and crazy.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
This is the first time I ever tried coke.
Host/Interviewer
Was Berlin.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, I just lied to you. It was actually. It was in this guy's house. I don't know. But I didn't get to know him because he died. He jumped out of the built like his window and killed himself like two months later.
Host/Interviewer
You know, all of my drug stories are from Chicago.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, that's all mine too.
Host/Interviewer
That is to me that if you ask me, that is the cocaine capital of the world, I believe.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Certainly.
Alexis P. Bevel
Like, it's so cool. Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Drinking for breakfast. For sure.
Host/Interviewer
The drinking, the level of hangover, the puking on the Amtrak that I did in my life coming home from Chicago.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, yeah, because you were. You were training in. From. From the Amtrak.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, my God. After Berlin, on Saturdays, I would get up, go get on the Amtrak, go back to Milwaukee, go straight to Hamburger Mary's and do bingo.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, my God.
Host/Interviewer
Pick it up.
Alexis P. Bevel
Hustling, hustling, hustling. You know what I remember when I think of you meeting you before you went every day.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
Okay. And we.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Be honest. We do. But it's not because of us. We are. Because we are two white women with Problems. And sure, do I have the signature Chicago face that I never changed. Absolutely.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Does it look a lot like Trixie's? It might.
Host/Interviewer
You think I've never.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I don't think so. I just think it's the black. The black. I think that's all.
Host/Interviewer
You do this totally different.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. I don't know, but people call us the Teen Trixie. Are you serious?
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Which one of you is Katya?
Alexis P. Bevel
Well, that's the thing is she's. I almost said something so rude. She's skinny like Katya.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, say it. What?
Alexis P. Bevel
Skinny like Katya. She's too.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I found out I might have a personality disorder. I found.
Host/Interviewer
You found out?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, two days ago. She said yes, you do.
Host/Interviewer
Who told you? Everyone you've ever met.
Alexis P. Bevel
No, she saw. She's trying out a new therapist.
Host/Interviewer
There's no way you have two parents in Palm Springs?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, my parents and I don't talk. But my dad's 82 because he's homophobic and whatever. That's why we don't talk. And he's sucking off one of his friends from high school.
Host/Interviewer
Makes a lot of sense. I knew you were either, like, had the old parents or homeschooled or something.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, old parents who were gay.
Alexis P. Bevel
No, but we were in Berlin and we were chatting and timing is so funny because I remember hearing that you tap dance.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
And I also tap dance. And so I missed. I messaged you on Facebook. I said, we should do a tap dance number together. And you were like, oh, yeah, that sounds great. And then two minutes later, you were on track, Grace. I think you were, like, on the way to the flight when you messaged me back.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah, I think the. I think. I think I responded like. I think I said, okay, loser. I think it was something like that.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Something nice. Yeah. For training her. Of course.
Host/Interviewer
Berlin was also a unique stage because you, like, enter from the basement. Actually. A nice dressing room for a drag club.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. A dedicated space with a curtain.
Host/Interviewer
Had mirrors.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes, that's true.
Host/Interviewer
Had an area to go naked, and
Darby Lynn Cartwright
that area had a drain. So while you're tucking, you could piss on the floor.
Host/Interviewer
I have seen that happen a few.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I did that every time I was at Berlin.
Host/Interviewer
Also, that was when Fireball had, like, launched. It felt like, oh, my God.
Alexis P. Bevel
Fireball was a huge giveaway in drag.
Host/Interviewer
I remember it being the. The official sponsor of all these drag shows which shout out to Fireball, kind of pre drag what it is now. Fireball was like, yeah, we'll we'll sponsor your drag show.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Truly.
Host/Interviewer
They gave us the money that paid us and free Fireball.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, we did we be drinking fireball on the rocks.
Host/Interviewer
We were acting like it was.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, we'd sip it. Have you ever sipping fireball?
Host/Interviewer
A hot mug of fireball.
Alexis P. Bevel
You warm your bone.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Do you have a. A healthy relationship with others? No, you don't, because you sip fireball.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah, yeah, Fireball.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, I loved it, though.
Host/Interviewer
It's cinnamon.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Actually, there was a moment at Berlin, we were doing a show and you were outside spray painting your nails.
Host/Interviewer
I did do that a lot.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, you were doing that. And I was. It was another moment where I was like, she probably can't afford nails if she was a teacher.
Host/Interviewer
I couldn't.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She could.
Host/Interviewer
You were. You were older than us and married and had a real job.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thank you.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
It seemed like you were like a real person. And I just remember we always. I always thought your husband was so beautiful.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And he still is. And he still went.
Host/Interviewer
What's his name? Ned or Curtis?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Curtis, yeah, Curtis.
Alexis P. Bevel
Nedward Jackson. That's Edward.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
Actually.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Sure, why not?
Alexis P. Bevel
We went and saw him in a short film. He had a. Premiered his short film called kiss spelled K I55. And he was wonderful in it.
Host/Interviewer
That's great.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
He's just.
Alexis P. Bevel
He's a really good camera.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. I will say thank you so much. Infinity. He did an Infinity commercial dressed as a bear. And that has paid for so much of my lifestyle.
Alexis P. Bevel
He looks like Jack Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal together.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, I could totally see that. Yeah, he does have a Jake. A Jack Quaid vibe. Yeah. Do you guys watch the boys?
Alexis P. Bevel
I watched the first episode. Yeah. Yeah. I used to be one. I used to. I like to say I was deep undercover as a dude.
Host/Interviewer
You're not the tea mood Trixie. You're the tea girl Trixie.
Alexis P. Bevel
The end of that sentence was, she's skinny like Katya, but she does her
Darby Lynn Cartwright
makeup the best thing that ever.
Alexis P. Bevel
And then I tap dance.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So we're basically the same.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Because now I can say trans jokes because I have one.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You gotta catch them all or you gotta catch the best one.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, well, I believe that when you have it. When you have a trans colleague, I do believe there's a. There's a. There's a closeness. There's a way you could speak to her that maybe other people shouldn't. So people at home. I will say, if you see her, talk to her like this, that doesn't mean that you.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, I'VE seen her pubes on a cruise ship, okay? And that changes everything.
Host/Interviewer
Listen, how much you see. Are the.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She bent over and the pubes were coming out the back.
Alexis P. Bevel
I think she's.
Host/Interviewer
Are the pubes red? Are they synthetic?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, they're dark brown. Those.
Alexis P. Bevel
Those ones I didn't bring. No, I didn't bring my reds.
Host/Interviewer
Are yours gray?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I do have some.
Host/Interviewer
It's starting.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Yeah. Are you shaving? It is beyond started, babe.
Host/Interviewer
You still have hair, though. That's pretty fierce.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It starts a little further back.
Host/Interviewer
You think?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
But I am going to Turkey.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, fierce.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. I want to get. Have you ever been to Turkey? And I want to get hair like you used to have.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, I haven't had hair in a very long time now. Probably 10 years. And I got these teeth in America at Nail in Hollywood.
Alexis P. Bevel
Fabulous.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Really?
Host/Interviewer
My dentist. Well, my dentist is in Beverly Hills. Dr. Sun.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay, there we go.
Host/Interviewer
Dr. Sun.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Unrelated. Cannot relate.
Host/Interviewer
When I first moved here, I had money to go to the dentist for, like, what, the first fucking time? And I just googled who's the closest dentist? And she lived a block from me. Her dentist office block from me. That's how I selected my dentist. Most people probably do research.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, you don't have to go. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Host/Interviewer
Whatever's closest you have to go.
Alexis P. Bevel
Whatever's close.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We all like our base. Dental care is pretty bad for drag queens.
Host/Interviewer
Are you kidding me? Like, oh, not to mention my upbringing. I'm like, I think Wisconsin paid for us to get a teeth cleaning once a year, maybe, or a checkup, which wasn't enough.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, not for Wisconsin. When the main part of your diet
Alexis P. Bevel
is cheese and mountain dew.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I love Mars cheese castle, though. Girl, I miss it.
Host/Interviewer
What do you guys think of Milwaukee?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Love it. We love Milwaukee.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We've never had a bad time in Milwaukee.
Host/Interviewer
The Chicago Milwaukee Sisterhood is of the traveling gauchos.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very St. Louis, New Orleans.
Host/Interviewer
And you guys at Milwaukee Pride is turned.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, my God.
Host/Interviewer
Milwaukee Pride being so good was insane.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Can I tell a Milwaukee Pride story that may not be appropriate? Okay. First time I ever met Detox was at Milwaukee Pride. I was co host.
Host/Interviewer
Inappropriate.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Exactly. Well, I was a twink and I was alone with her. Is that appropriate? No. She was really sweet, but we were this drag queen, and I were co hosting Milwaukee Pride, and it was unreal. Like, it just blew my mind.
Host/Interviewer
It's huge.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You don't do anything. You just jump up and down like a Coachella.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. And they're all drunk and gay.
Alexis P. Bevel
And there's one of those like gondolier swings that goes over the entire.
Host/Interviewer
The dance grounds. Oh, yeah. To go look. And you can like ride it in dragon. They got food, deep fried everything. Beer tents, multiple stages. That dance pavilion is crazy.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Crazy.
Host/Interviewer
Thousands of people.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thousands upon thousands.
Host/Interviewer
And they are dancing for hours.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
And they're not even. They're dancing while the sun is up all day.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
There are 10 furries in full fur gear.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It's 100 degrees outside. They are out there for hours doing their thing. I'm in barely address and I'm like, it's too hot. I'll see you in a few minutes. I'll be right back. I was never on stage for more than five minutes.
Host/Interviewer
Well, I also think Market days is, is. Is. I think Market day is partners with heat stroke. They kind of partner every year. Because Market Days has a liability. Because when is Market day is July, August. They will. It'll kill you.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
It is hot.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And it should. And I have wished for it. No. But I was doing this thing and we were doing Milwaukee Pride and it was. It was. Right. It was the weekend of. Oh, this is gonna be such a bummer. Sit down.
Host/Interviewer
Everything so far has been kind of sad.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, okay. I know my brand. Pulse nightclub in Orlando. Oh, it happened.
Alexis P. Bevel
I don't know if we.
Host/Interviewer
It did.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, it did happen. And we had Milwaukee Pride the next.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, I remember this.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. And there was a big conversation about, are we gonna do it? Do we? You know, who feels safe enough? And Detox was supposed to be there that day, but obviously, like, she recused herself. She recused herself.
Host/Interviewer
And she's from Florida, I believe. So she probably.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It really hit her hard.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
But she. Before the park opened, the other drag queen, she died in a fire. She gets a text that Detox is here. She's about to leave. She just wants to say hi. So I came out and I stood like away. Cause she was already crying and I didn't want to like, get in that business.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And so they're talking or whatever. And then she goes, who's that? And then she brought me over and she's crying and I go, hi, I'm Darby. And she goes, ooh, you're cute. And then kisses me on the lips, smiles, goes right back to crying.
Alexis P. Bevel
And that just shows the resilience of the queer community in hard times.
Host/Interviewer
Or compartmentalization. Healthy compartmentalization.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Exactly. Well, that's why. That's how. How we have to do with our childhoods and the. Such as.
Host/Interviewer
Well, queer joy. Right. Unbridled queer joy. And it's also very queer to be like. Like, if somebody. You know what I mean? It's like something kind of sexual. It's like. Oh, it's also very. Do you remember in Mean Girls when she's, like, big, fat. Yeah, it was, like, very.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That my niece was just a mean girl. She played Katie. She's too good for the. The program she's in.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, wow, that's tough. I love to go see productions. Specifically, I love a community theater production. I saw a community theater production of. Of Legally Blonde a couple years ago. The community theater eats.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
There's a Presbyterian church near us that does all the juniors, like, in the summer. They have. Oh, yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Or do they do, like, Rent Junior, where they'll have diabetes and stuff.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Where they have diabetes instead. Okay, right. So my.
Host/Interviewer
And she's at a stripper. She works at Build a Bear or something.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, honestly, I think that's more immoral. If you work at Build a Bear, That's a scam. You can get a bear so cheap, you can rip it out, put it in yourself.
Alexis P. Bevel
My teddy. It's a Build a Bear.
Host/Interviewer
Does she do that?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Something she does.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Someone once said, like, I love Alexis. She's so funny, but I know it's got to be hard, like, to see her every day and, like, oh, she
Alexis P. Bevel
has to edit me every day. Oh.
Host/Interviewer
I actually don't think. Between Katie and I. Who has it worse?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, she's in the hospital.
Host/Interviewer
No, I mean, like, who?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So her. Who?
Alexis P. Bevel
Me?
Host/Interviewer
Having to work with her. Having to work with me. I don't know who, like, who wants to take the bigger bullet every day.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. Interesting. Because working with your best friend, I would say that's hard, huh?
Host/Interviewer
Do you guys hang out? Because Katie and I don't hang out or speak.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Not anymore.
Alexis P. Bevel
We. We do.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes, we do.
Alexis P. Bevel
We do. But only because I don't have a car. I live so close to her, so, like, she can't avoid me, right?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No. But the good thing, she doesn't call me anymore.
Alexis P. Bevel
I won't. I know. I don't call her because she's.
Host/Interviewer
Her phone's turned off.
Alexis P. Bevel
She's listening to my.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We talk.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. She's listening to my voice and editing my face.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I can't for eight hours a day. Internet also, you need to go have.
Host/Interviewer
If you guys talk about your life, you need to go have separate experiences and you kind of need to. Bravo. Bravo. Bravo. Nothing you Say yeah matters. Unless that camera's rolling.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, you do.
Host/Interviewer
And I don't think that makes it a bad thing.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No.
Host/Interviewer
Katya and I always talk about we just. Because of this, you have to have
Alexis P. Bevel
stuff in the tank.
Host/Interviewer
We have a fresh discovery of a story with Regis.
Alexis P. Bevel
Regis and Kelly, they never spoke to each other until they got on camera.
Host/Interviewer
Katya and I on tour, literally wouldn't see each other till we're on stage.
Alexis P. Bevel
That is her dream.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay. That is my dream.
Host/Interviewer
It's nice.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It's just because, like, you require a lot of support.
Host/Interviewer
Who is he? Who's the insecure neurotic one? Who's like the. Do I look bad?
Alexis P. Bevel
Well, no. See, I used to be the insecure neurotic one and then I transitioned and I got on SSRI. Celexa, 20 milligrams, never been happier. And I have a boyfriend.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She cries now.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
What's he like?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
For over a year.
Alexis P. Bevel
He is a musician.
Host/Interviewer
Like he would play him in a movie.
Alexis P. Bevel
O. The comments say Noah Kahan.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
What? What's that?
Alexis P. Bevel
Noah Kahan is a. Is a music artist character. He's like long hair, beard, scruffy.
Host/Interviewer
You know, when you. When you play. Who would play her? You. You pick someone that everyone knows.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Everyone knows. Yeah. That would be helpful.
Alexis P. Bevel
The Noah Khan community is going to come for you after that.
Host/Interviewer
Now it's over. I'm sorry.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We're of a certain age. Okay.
Host/Interviewer
Quite a bit younger than us, right?
Alexis P. Bevel
No, I'm 40. I'm actually. I'm 41 today.
Host/Interviewer
You're 41?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, yeah. Today's her birthday.
Host/Interviewer
You really have always had
Darby Lynn Cartwright
very insecure sentences and words.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very.
Host/Interviewer
I thought when we started doing drag, I thought you were younger than me.
Alexis P. Bevel
Thank you.
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Host/Interviewer
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Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Vixen Pearl, Shay, Kim.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yes.
Host/Interviewer
The drag world was developing and flowering in that area code.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yes.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That is. There was a moment where, like, suddenly all of Chicago, all of the girls we came up with were on the show.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And it was.
Host/Interviewer
Every year someone was on Drag Race. One or two.
Alexis P. Bevel
For. For.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
For a good long while.
Host/Interviewer
Then it was me, then it was Kim.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Then I think it was Vix. It was like,
Darby Lynn Cartwright
don't forget Nisha Lopez. When did she hit this?
Host/Interviewer
Naysha? During the Kim season. Right.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It's not for me.
Alexis P. Bevel
No. Gia. Gia. I feel.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, Gia was six. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nation six.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, my God.
Host/Interviewer
Drag Race.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
My niece is going to be in. We're six Junior. Oh, mean girls Junior. So they changed the line where Regina goes, hey, I'm feeling very sexy, and instead changed it to, hey, I'm going to take a selfie. And then she pulls out her phone and takes a picture of herself.
Host/Interviewer
I don't like junior versions of things. Like, we don't need Junior. Euphoria. We don't need junior.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay. They're not junior girls.
Host/Interviewer
I mean, show girls are old.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
They're old. Now that's.
Alexis P. Bevel
That's a funny idea.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I don't want to see old people go to high school. That's why junior year. Evidence.
Host/Interviewer
You need to watch Netflix.
Alexis P. Bevel
Everyone's 40 show girls junior. But only performed by adults.
Host/Interviewer
If you guys went to audition Netflix today to play high schoolers, they would tell you that you're too young.
Alexis P. Bevel
Okay, thank you.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So you haven't. You haven't gotten your eyes done yet.
Host/Interviewer
I have a question. This list says twinuendo. What's that about?
Alexis P. Bevel
So they. Despite my objections, they have a podcast, her and her.
Host/Interviewer
Who's they?
Alexis P. Bevel
Her and her brother. Her twin brother.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I love to hear her explanation of things because I get, like, a view inside her mind of, like, what is. What does she Think we're doing.
Narrator/Announcer
Yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
And so they have a podcast together called 20 Window that I am not on.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That's why I like.
Alexis P. Bevel
And I'm not involved with, like, just kind of.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You haven't been drifting?
Alexis P. Bevel
I haven't been. I. Well, I've been on it one time, but it is a boys club. They don't have to do drafts or anything. And they have to. And they talk about their trauma.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We're doing trauma. Okay.
Alexis P. Bevel
It's trauma talk.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You know, he was a pastor for almost 20 years. I was a drag queen. You know, we weren't close.
Host/Interviewer
He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Yeah. And much like Avril Lavigne, I do hope to kill him and replace him one day.
Host/Interviewer
I love Avril Lavigne.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Me, too. Oh, my gosh. I liked the original one the best. But I gotta say, the one that she is now.
Host/Interviewer
What's her name now? Stacy or something? Melissa.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
For me to know.
Host/Interviewer
Who do they think Taylor is? They think Taylor's like, Melissa or something.
Alexis P. Bevel
Melissa.
Host/Interviewer
The comments would be like, melissa, blink if you're okay.
Alexis P. Bevel
She was in Law and Order SVU last week.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She played a lesbian.
Host/Interviewer
I did hear about that.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So good. And that's okay.
Host/Interviewer
That's okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And that's okay.
Alexis P. Bevel
She was amazing.
Host/Interviewer
Is it. Are you and your brother identical?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We're Mary Kate and Ashley. Fraternal. Did you know Mary Kate and Ashley are fraternal?
Alexis P. Bevel
They look very similar.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, we look a lot alike. I'm an inch taller, and he's straight. He's.
Alexis P. Bevel
It's really fun with them on tour together because, like, she'll walk behind a pillar, and then he'll come out the other side and I'll be like.
Host/Interviewer
And that's kind of a fun twin
Darby Lynn Cartwright
hijack that happened once.
Alexis P. Bevel
They. You want to hear about twin hijinks? She rented a car the last time we went. We went to North Atlanta, Alpharetta and Orlando. We rented a car to drive.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, we used to say. And then we realized, yeah, yeah, we're North Atlanta.
Alexis P. Bevel
Alpharetta is a beautiful name, though.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Know.
Alexis P. Bevel
And so we bought. She bought a car. And then she was like, you're gonna drive. I'm just gonna give you my ID in case we get pulled over because she don't want to put him on the thing. Oh, am I allowed to say that?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Are we gonna go for it? No.
Host/Interviewer
Blow up her spot.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No. But she's.
Host/Interviewer
I don't think either of you in a financial position to get banned from Enterprise.
Alexis P. Bevel
Absolutely not. And it was.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I love that. You think we can afford Enterprise.
Alexis P. Bevel
Have you ever heard of six?
Host/Interviewer
You guys are Alamo.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We're six. No, bitch, we're six with a T. Yeah. You want to start a company, the number with a T. What's the one
Host/Interviewer
where you rent someone's car? Truro.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That's. Oh, I'm not doing that.
Host/Interviewer
Where you rent. You, like, you, like, could, like, if you have a Prius, you could, like, rent it for people to come get it and use it for the day.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I have a Subaru that's.
Host/Interviewer
Or in Milwaukee.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. I used to love Zipcar, but she
Darby Lynn Cartwright
was mad that I didn't put her name on it because she told me I was gonna learn how to drive again.
Alexis P. Bevel
No, no. I'm a very good driver. I just got my ID back.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We got in really late, and I couldn't wait in the sixth line, you know, the sixth line is crazy.
Alexis P. Bevel
There was no one there.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Straight to the car. Yeah. And I was the only one on it. And because he's straight and he looks like. Yeah. So I just gave him my license.
Host/Interviewer
Really shouldn't be driving. Everybody's like, are the way most safe. I'm like, the gay people are out here. Driving.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I'm not gay.
Host/Interviewer
Is better than gay driving.
Alexis P. Bevel
Technically, I'm not gay anymore. Oh, my mom was thrilled.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, my God.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You are the stereotype of a woman.
Host/Interviewer
Sexual woman, apparently.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
You're part of the problem.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm sorry.
Host/Interviewer
Heterosexual white lady.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yes.
Host/Interviewer
See her titties get on Facebook.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
The nipples are bigger than you think.
Host/Interviewer
Hi, mamas. You should become a chad.
Alexis P. Bevel
Hey, mamas.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You should.
Alexis P. Bevel
And I tell you, my current obsession, the thing that helps my SSRI is hand sewing dresses. And I'm going to the hob. Okay, don't look at me like that. I love sewing. And I like. I feel like you have more control with hands.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Most productive thing she's ever done.
Alexis P. Bevel
And I could do it in the plane.
Host/Interviewer
Hand sewing.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You do do.
Alexis P. Bevel
I can do it on the plane. I love it, girl.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She doesn't care where her elbows end up.
Host/Interviewer
You're telling me that you're back in 21C doing some for richer, for poor? She really is.
Alexis P. Bevel
I really am. Yeah. I have to watch out.
Host/Interviewer
Behaviors.
Alexis P. Bevel
Stewardesses.
Host/Interviewer
Have you guys ever.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Stuart, I. Don't be insane.
Host/Interviewer
Well, this next note from the show says, don't impress me much.
Alexis P. Bevel
That's a song that I do. It's the only song I do.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She has done that song everywhere. I do it everywhere. About eight years now. And I'm not exaggerating, but it's improv.
Alexis P. Bevel
Because during the part where she says, so you're a rocket scientist, I stop the music and I say, hi, what's your name? And he says, you know, what's your name? Daniel. And I say, what do you do for work? Retail. Okay. So you probably have to deal with, like, customers and like, interpersonal relationships.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That's.
Alexis P. Bevel
The song is called that Don't Impress me Much. So. And I can't change the lyrics. Shania Twain is very litigious, as you well know. And then it comes in that Don't Impress Me Much.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
And now that I've said it on this podcast, I'm gonna have to retire.
Host/Interviewer
No, nobody listens to this. They're gonna see this thumbnail, they're going to realize neither of you are Katya, and they're going to leave.
Alexis P. Bevel
Absolutely.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And you know what? Thank you for that. Thank you for realizing that finally the
Host/Interviewer
two of you put together don't even equal one vascular crackhead. How does that feel?
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, we know.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, you don't know.
Alexis P. Bevel
We're very self aware.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I used to put drugs in my butt.
Host/Interviewer
And that is something that I have heard that people do. And I just. In my experience, I can barely have like a solid BM without injuring myself. So how are people putting drugs up there?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Solid. Oh, my God. We had a guy come to our meet and greet and give us Metamucil.
Alexis P. Bevel
Metamucil gummies. Are you ever doing any of that?
Host/Interviewer
Well, I usually am oscillating between a Miralax experience, but I'm always afraid, like, I'm afraid that a Metamucil is gonna stop things up more. What do you think happens?
Alexis P. Bevel
Because Metamucil. It does. When you go off it, I've.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Here's the thing.
Alexis P. Bevel
I kind of know what.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
His dad died in 9 11.
Alexis P. Bevel
His dad died in 9 11.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
He brought us. We don't use a.
Host/Interviewer
We don't always have to say who died in a story.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, we're not supposed to. His mom doesn't like it when we say it.
Alexis P. Bevel
She did a request.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She did.
Host/Interviewer
But she's not here. Yeah, she's not in Hollywood, usa, honey.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And neither is her husband. He's not anywhere.
Host/Interviewer
Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Sorry.
Host/Interviewer
I'm sorry.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No. But he brings us these gummies. We start taking them. We start having solid poops every day. He's wild.
Alexis P. Bevel
And then I forget.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No one tell us. Yeah, like he didn't say. By the way, if you start this you can't just suddenly stop because I'm gonna lock everything up forever.
Host/Interviewer
What?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes. And so at Christmas, I'm in my in laws house and I rip my butthole wide open.
Alexis P. Bevel
Mine came a few months later.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And wasn't it horrifying?
Alexis P. Bevel
Do you watch the Pit?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. You finna be in the pit?
Host/Interviewer
Never seen it. I mean, I know I. You guys, I know about ripping a butthole.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
I don't have to watch a medical show to understand.
Alexis P. Bevel
What are you watching? Do you watch?
Host/Interviewer
What am I watching? I've been watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills from the beginning. My ex used to watch it all the time, and so I peripherally have seen parts of it.
Alexis P. Bevel
You've gotten the gist.
Host/Interviewer
And I texted Lisa, I said, you never guess what I'm watching. I've been watching Beverly Hills from the beginning. And I was like, kind of like,
Darby Lynn Cartwright
did she say she's so fabulous?
Host/Interviewer
She's embarrassed to admit that to her. Like, I was like. But then again, I'm like, she's always kind of scandalized that I haven't seen it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
What's she smell like?
Host/Interviewer
Beautiful.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
She is exactly as you would see on the program. I'm watching the program. Being like, she really is made me just miss hanging out with her a little bit. So I texted her, being like, I'm watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's like, wow.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Because it's like 15 years ago. It's like, hey, I'm watching home videos of you.
Alexis P. Bevel
It's pre Covid. It's a different world.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, we were just talking about that on the way over here. Do you watch Matlock?
Alexis P. Bevel
There's a new Matlock with Kathy Bates.
Host/Interviewer
Kathy. I've never seen it. I watched Gypsy Rose Blanchard Life after lockup. It got discontinued. Now I watched.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
What did she do in her life after lockup?
Host/Interviewer
The show literally starts. I feel like I'm the only person who watched this because I never hear anyone talk about this. And it's canceled now.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Okay.
Host/Interviewer
The show starts with her getting picked up from prison and them going to buy her shoes. Like, you guys, it's. It's the. In a world of people moving into fake houses to be on reality tv, this is as about as real as gets a Gypsy Rose Blanchard at shoe carnival getting paparazzi.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, my God.
Host/Interviewer
It hearkens back to a different time
Alexis P. Bevel
in reality T. Well, now, here's a beautiful question. You're released from prison.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Where are you going?
Host/Interviewer
First she gets McDonald's and she gets shoes.
Alexis P. Bevel
I Love that.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I. I would go, you know what? I turn it on its head. I would go to jail. I would just make sure I didn't leave anything in holding.
Host/Interviewer
You're a pick me girl.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm going.
Host/Interviewer
That's a pick me girl.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm going.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I need attention.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yes.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
My dad doesn't love me.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm going to Taco Bell and I'm
Darby Lynn Cartwright
going to a fabric store, girl. You want to go get a job?
Host/Interviewer
Do you know what they need to get for the girls? The Dragoons? They need to get. You know how they have like a Long John Silver's and McDonald's combo or whatever? They need to get a fabric store. Taco Bell.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
I would be in there. I would get a job. I would quit drag and get a job.
Host/Interviewer
Do you guys cook?
Alexis P. Bevel
No. Absolutely.
Host/Interviewer
I started making Crunchwrap. I started making Crunchwrap Supremes at home on my own. You just need to buy the ingredients. Did you know? Doesn't want you to know this.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You know, they make one in. What's the restaurant? It's a Thai restaurant in West Hollywood. I can't remember the name, but they make their own version of a Crunchwrap Supreme. But it tastes just like it.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, interesting. Yeah. I mean, all you have to do is get the giant tortilla. You get the small crunchy tortilla, and you layer it all and then you pan fry it.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, that's fabulous.
Host/Interviewer
I'm a Mexican, and it's better than the McDonald's one. Or it's better than the Taco Bell one.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I'm sure. McDonald's.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, yeah. I'm a. I'm a Mexican pizza girl.
Host/Interviewer
You are me and doja.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She was so excited.
Host/Interviewer
Dolly liked that, too. Dolly Parton liked that too.
Alexis P. Bevel
Really?
Host/Interviewer
Mexican pizza.
Alexis P. Bevel
I love it. It's so good.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Did you have it in school growing up? That was always my favorite day.
Host/Interviewer
Mexican pizza.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, it was an oct. Was an octagon. And so what? Yeah, you're.
Alexis P. Bevel
You're not talking about Taco Bell sanctioned Mexican pizza.
Host/Interviewer
This is woke.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No, I'm talking about, like, you know, pizza day in. In school. It's the big rectangle.
Host/Interviewer
Back in my day, there were boys and girls, but okay, not Mexican. We, she, they, them. Mexican pizzas.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
In my day, people were singular. Okay. We were dealing with the plural.
Alexis P. Bevel
Don't look at me. I'm her.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She was they. Them for a week. And it was terrifying.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, that was hard.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It was really hard on everyone in her life.
Host/Interviewer
I do think it's funny that about Eight days later, you said so.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
We're gonna flip the script. What? Guess who's back, Back, Back again. You know.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Okay. Mom.
Host/Interviewer
It's an evolving journey of self discovery.
Alexis P. Bevel
It really is about you for a
Darby Lynn Cartwright
second, so just know that.
Alexis P. Bevel
Do you want me to look away?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, that would be great.
Alexis P. Bevel
Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She's a completely different person as her fully realized female self. She sucked as a boy. I.
Host/Interviewer
Did she wear nails?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You know she does.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm growing them.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Why start?
Host/Interviewer
Oh, okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She says that every time. No, she's so much.
Host/Interviewer
She's been growing them out for years, honey.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, for years and years. And then she does have to cut them occasionally while I'm growing them out.
Host/Interviewer
We look over. She's snitching them right now.
Alexis P. Bevel
I lost three when I was on the plane sewing my new stays. Okay.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah. She needs. She can't wear nails because she's doing her Amish hand sewing on the plane.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Sorry. Well, because she's on that technology, the plane. She doesn't. It feels like it's too advanced for her.
Host/Interviewer
I have a question. The next note in your show says, it's not that easy being mean.
Alexis P. Bevel
Okay. Now this is her time to shine.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That is. That is a number I used to do. I don't do it anymore, but it
Host/Interviewer
seems like you do. This is from, what, last week?
Alexis P. Bevel
That is from last October.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
October, yeah. She doesn't wash her clothes.
Host/Interviewer
This was in your pocket since last October, apparently.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
This is Belvin, by the way.
Host/Interviewer
That's fierce, girl.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Velvet.
Host/Interviewer
I do love that. I don't know what they call that sequin where the inside is velvet.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
It's hot, though.
Alexis P. Bevel
It's so hot.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And that's why she would have washed it.
Alexis P. Bevel
Indeed. It was winter when we.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, it was winter. It was a different time. And we stayed. Were you Square?
Alexis P. Bevel
No.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No. But we went to Times Square a lot.
Host/Interviewer
It's hard to sleep outside.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No. But not easy being mean. I sing the song not easy being Green, but obviously your name. Exactly.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, Parody work. Kind of. Sherry Bond teeth.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, thank you.
Host/Interviewer
And I will always love poo. Or, you know.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Is that her song?
Host/Interviewer
She's the queen of a poop song. For sure.
Alexis P. Bevel
That's why you don't have her on. You hate poop.
Host/Interviewer
She's like, just my. Just my pants. Like, I Just my pants. Just. She's. It's always like, I my pants.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I my pants. Well, I. A pair of tights once in an Uber. Anyway.
Host/Interviewer
Why were you wearing just tights? Very fetal. To sit naked with just tight side.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And you never did that. Also, we would go completely ready for the gig. No clothes. You didn't do that.
Host/Interviewer
Recovered memory. Why were taxis so cheap in Chicago back in. Oh, yeah, they used to pay you to take a taxi.
Alexis P. Bevel
They're still a little bit cheaper than Obama.
Host/Interviewer
Thanks Obama.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thanks Obama.
Host/Interviewer
Now what Lori likes to be Joe.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I gotta be honest, I'm not loving what Joe Biden's doing in office right now. The world seems crazy, right? We gotta. Someone call your grandpa. Nope. Political humor. Great. I'll save that for Kelly Mantle.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, yeah. Kelly really watches cnn. That.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I'd love to watch her watch the news. I bet it would freak her out.
Host/Interviewer
Girl, she can only be in touch with what she's in touch with. And what she's in touch with is very little.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And her grandma. How did y' all end up, like, having her a part of all of your live events? Because she's a perfect addition to you and Katya.
Host/Interviewer
We were coming up with a character that would be like our manager. And I was like, who is deeply available. And, you know, drinks.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
On a level that can make my drinking seem kind of, you know.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Are you a drinker?
Host/Interviewer
Not really anymore.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, same.
Host/Interviewer
I mean, it's two glasses of wine at dinner last night, that was me getting wild.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Do you have a headache today?
Host/Interviewer
No, I'm okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, how old are you?
Host/Interviewer
36. People think I'm older because I'm bald and I look old.
Alexis P. Bevel
You don't look old.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, no, I just. We were coming up at the same time, so I thought we were both really young. We were really fresh and young. I started to drag it, like. Like 30. That's normal, right?
Host/Interviewer
That was crazy. Yeah, that's right. You were like, hey, I'm old. Hey, guys.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
And you kept saying that because I kept kind of being like, hey, I'm old. We were all like, we get it. We get it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It's because I knew Twink death was coming for me. And I was so excited that I was still on life support, so I was showing off. Can I say for real, it will come for you. And you have to develop a personality.
Alexis P. Bevel
Daniel, you got to pick up the
Host/Interviewer
dumbbell or pick up the wig.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Exactly.
Alexis P. Bevel
Absolutely.
Host/Interviewer
And I wish you would put down the wig. I also want to say I. I.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, you should say it.
Host/Interviewer
As an educator. Former educator. Do you think there's some skills that carry over to controlling, like, a drag audience?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes.
Host/Interviewer
Right. People management.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, I taught special ed, and so I had to deal with people on a daily basis who needed extra support. And whatever I was doing, I had to have three or four different options for how I could communicate that idea.
Host/Interviewer
Right.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
When people are drunk in a bar, you have to be ready to either be like, you say, whatever you say, they're gonna laugh or whatever you're gonna say, they're gonna cry, or whatever you say, they're not gonna pay attention at all. They're gonna be in a different room. Okay. And that's working at a bar in Chicago. And, yeah, you have to learn how to, like, talk to a drunk asshole in a charming way. Although sometimes when I would get drunk, I would become the drunk asshole. The first time I ever met Katya, I was wasted. And I tried to fight her outside Roscoe's, and then.
Host/Interviewer
You don't have to be drunk to fight her.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thank you. But I needed it. I needed the confidence. And then the guy at 711 called the police on me.
Host/Interviewer
The one right on Halstead.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
You know, but knowing that it was Katya, I bet she was in perfectly sound mind.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
She. Can I be honest? She was.
Host/Interviewer
She's probably smoking cigarettes.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Listener. She was. She was. And she was chill. And I went up and was like. I don't know why I started to fight her. You know what it was? Dominance.
Host/Interviewer
She will talk to anyone.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Sorry.
Host/Interviewer
She'll talk to anyone as long as she can smoke at the same time.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, well, she won't meet with the
Host/Interviewer
diet if she's on smoking. Go up to her. She's in her happy place. She's at her best. I don't think she smokes anymore.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I tell people that we smoke. Just. It explains our teeth. Teeth, yeah. But we don't smoke.
Host/Interviewer
Also. It's a great way. You know, when I worked at, like, a real job, I was always pissed off that smokers got all these extra.
Alexis P. Bevel
I was just thinking that.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, I was just.
Host/Interviewer
I had diarrhea when I worked at the Mac counter. I'm like, can I go stand outside?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I forgot you worked at the Mac counter. Yeah. Remember when Mac.
Host/Interviewer
Was it like, you wanted that girl again?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It is. It's coming back.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah. I've always loved.
Alexis P. Bevel
Did you go back to Mac after you launched your makeup line and you said, big mistake. Huge. Or whatever?
Host/Interviewer
No, because I also got fired from there, so.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
What'd you do?
Host/Interviewer
Nothing. It's a whole story. Nothing.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We don't have time. We're wrapping up. Please.
Host/Interviewer
There is one more that I want to talk about.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Are you really just going through a set list from October?
Host/Interviewer
Well, hopefully you're not doing any of this again.
Alexis P. Bevel
No, we're not.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You know we are.
Host/Interviewer
So if you guys go see their live show, make sure that you act. I want them to overact how new this is.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Whoa, whoa, okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
The sit down joke. The sit down joke is really enjoyable.
Alexis P. Bevel
So there was a moment in Orlando, though, when I was telling a story and I thought, you've all heard this on the podcast, haven't you? And the whole audience goes, yes, yes, I know.
Host/Interviewer
And sometimes they're too nice to say anything.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, yeah.
Host/Interviewer
But Kati and I have absolute brain death, so we don't know.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Right, well. And you just say, like, that's part.
Host/Interviewer
She just remembered she has an Adam's apple. Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So sorry. That was that guy's dad.
Host/Interviewer
There is one more point I want to hit. This is this says, death equals lady.
Alexis P. Bevel
What's going on there, Darby?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
Early on in our. In our imho, the show Journey, Darby had a new death story every single time.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Not on purpose. I just find it really interesting.
Alexis P. Bevel
When people die, she likes to talk about death.
Host/Interviewer
Did you guys used to do lives?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. No. Our show started because we used to do your. Her close and personal friend Soju used to do a live.
Host/Interviewer
You should do Soju's live.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Does. So she do drag still?
Alexis P. Bevel
I'm not sure.
Host/Interviewer
Wouldn't you know, I don't really know her, honestly.
Alexis P. Bevel
What, she came up after she was gone?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
No. You're very close to Soju. That's what Reddit says.
Host/Interviewer
I've maybe met her a couple times.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I'm just kidding. I'm with you.
Host/Interviewer
I remember her being extremely beautiful. She would get drunk on live.
Alexis P. Bevel
Extremely.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
Shot with Soju.
Host/Interviewer
Shot with so.
Alexis P. Bevel
And that's how she went to a show.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And I was like, well, I can keep going with that.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And then I. Auntie Chan.
Alexis P. Bevel
Incredible.
Host/Interviewer
She working?
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. She's. She's Kimora Hall's truly adopted daughter now.
Host/Interviewer
She's fierce girl.
Alexis P. Bevel
She's amazing. And then I got jealous and I said, please don't do anything without me. And so I elbowed my way, way in.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah. Chan said, you are a decade older than me. I'm wasting my time. And so luckily, I have my silver medal ready to go.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thank you.
Host/Interviewer
It's nice to be the second or third choice.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's where I'm comfortable. I like to be in a supportive.
Host/Interviewer
Cuz alone, you guys suck. Have nothing.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
And together. This is. Hey, you're Here. Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Thank you.
Host/Interviewer
And that's.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
And thank you.
Host/Interviewer
And that's what it's about.
Alexis P. Bevel
We're putting that on the poster for the next live tour.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Hey, we're here.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yes.
Sponsor/Advertisement Voice
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Well, how long have you guys worked together now?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, my God.
Host/Interviewer
Got to be pushing dead years, right?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We started.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, we 14.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Wow. It's long.
Alexis P. Bevel
Because we started at Hydrate. Doing there was like the Snow White and the Seven Drag Queens.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Remember that?
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah. And so we would do that. We did that together.
Host/Interviewer
Fierce.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yes. We've known each other for a while, but I got to say, knowing you as a girl is so much more fun.
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
But I. Since I. We fought on stage at Vidcon last year, and I called her a dumb. In front of a bunch of children.
Alexis P. Bevel
You heard about it?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
But I think it's because I have a personality disorder.
Alexis P. Bevel
So I'm.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I'm really sorry, But I put in my time with you as an undercover boy. This is just my version of that.
Host/Interviewer
Of course, you know, we. We accept the love we think we deserve, so. I don't know what happened to you.
Alexis P. Bevel
Well, thank God I have a boyfriend now, and he's really lovely and nice and hot, and we're gonna have to wrap up.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Understand? She painted his penis green and put a hat. Like a witch's hat on.
Alexis P. Bevel
I took a picture. I had an Elphaba doll, and I put the hat on it. And then in Photoshop, I painted it green. I actually do that.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
The second Wicked was so bad.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, wait. You know what?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
What?
Alexis P. Bevel
We're gonna let Trixie run the show for a couple.
Host/Interviewer
Third one was fierce.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, I love the third one.
Host/Interviewer
The third one.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, my God. When the. The munchkins all start. I'm sorry. I've been watching a lot of weird videos. I have to tell you this.
Alexis P. Bevel
I miss Dunkin Donuts. Do you miss Dunkin' Donuts?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
It was this guy. There's one little hot twink guy much like you. Not you, much like you. And his whole thing is that his. His penis is small, and he loves that it's small. And I think that's br. I think that's beautiful.
Host/Interviewer
I don't super care about.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I don't either.
Host/Interviewer
You. Thank you guys so much for. No, I was going to say. I was going to say. I don't. I really super do not care about smaller, small.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, no, we don't.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
That's the point.
Host/Interviewer
Life. If you care. Sorry, everyone.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah, my dad cares. My dad has a micro penis. Nick Nixon. Anyway, so I I click on his video because he's hot. And I'm like, yeah, let's go small penis. And he has his phone like here. And he comes and then he goes.
Host/Interviewer
I'm sorry, was this in Wicked three?
Alexis P. Bevel
This was in Wicked three.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Climax, right?
Alexis P. Bevel
Yeah. Goon news.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
So he comes and then he looks in the camera and he goes, I told you my little guy would make a mess.
Host/Interviewer
If you guys want to see these people, they're online. And you also can. You also can. He said that you can actually thumbs down this video and maybe you'll never see them again. And maybe never see us again.
Alexis P. Bevel
We'd like to thank you so much for having us.
Host/Interviewer
Are you kidding?
Alexis P. Bevel
Thank you to Kasia for.
Host/Interviewer
Do you have.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh.
Host/Interviewer
Can you give a message of hope to Katya?
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh, yeah.
Alexis P. Bevel
Well, I know that we share a birthday.
Host/Interviewer
Oh, is your birthday.
Alexis P. Bevel
And my birthday is today. So I.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
We said that already.
Host/Interviewer
So you did.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, you were in the throes of hosting. It's okay. And so I was kind of. When you told me that, I was
Darby Lynn Cartwright
like, it's Katya's birthday today.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
In the hospital. Well.
Alexis P. Bevel
And I was like, oh, sure. Katya's out sick on her birthday. And then she posted that also love.
Host/Interviewer
Love that she posts a picture with tubes in her nose with no information and just said death comes for us all.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Or love that you know, there's a 14 year old girl.
Alexis P. Bevel
Maybe she really is sick.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Well, I hope you're getting.
Host/Interviewer
I saw on Twitter someone sent. Someone's been. People have been venmoing her. Oh, she's a millionaire. She's a millionaire. Love it. Just send her the money. Oh well, Trixie Mattel
Darby Lynn Cartwright
and at Alexis Pebbles. Katya, listen, we hope you get better soon. We're sorry and we're. But thanks and strong and together we can.
Host/Interviewer
Well, in my homosexual opinion is a fabulous program that you can check out. Thank you guys so much for joining me. Thank you. The power of the Midwest compels us.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Do I do that? I've never been a top.
Alexis P. Bevel
You have a special pink everything.
Host/Interviewer
Oh yeah. I have this pink side. And then you guys are on the devil doing that pink.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Like in your house.
Host/Interviewer
Yeah, everything's pink. Think.
Alexis P. Bevel
Oh, I love it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You like it?
Host/Interviewer
I do. I've never gotten sick of it.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
You're a runner. That's nice.
Host/Interviewer
I can't run anymore because of my arthritis. It's a whole thing. We can't talk about me on the show.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Oh yeah.
Host/Interviewer
This was about you.
Alexis P. Bevel
Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
Yeah.
Host/Interviewer
Okay.
Darby Lynn Cartwright
I don't have arthritis, but I do have I did have a ripped butthole for a couple.
Alexis P. Bevel
I'll get your number and I'll text you all my questions.
Host/Interviewer
How about that? Please don't. Okay, Bye.
Alexis P. Bevel
Bye. Sa. Your next chapter in healthcare starts at Carrington College's School of Nursing in Portland. Join us for our open house on Tuesday, January 13th from 4 to 7pm you'll tour our campus, see live demos, meet instructors, and learn about our Associate Degree in Nursing program that prepares you to become a registered nurse. Take the first step toward your nursing career. Save your spot now at Carrington. Edu Events. For information on program outcomes, visit carrington. Edu Sci.
Date: May 12, 2026
Guests: Darby Lynn Cartwright & Alexis P. Bevel (IMHO)
Host: Trixie
Note: Katya is absent due to hospitalization
This episode is a riotously candid, chaos-filled conversation between Trixie and the comedic drag duo Darby Lynn Cartwright & Alexis P. Bevel from IMHO (In My Homosexual Opinion). With Katya out sick ("hospitalized"—the source of many jokes), the trio takes a hilarious, sometimes poignant tour through their shared drag roots, friendships, Midwest queer culture, and backstage chaos. Expect stories of shoestring drag beginnings, trauma-bonding, set lists, TikTok mishaps, rundown tales of Midwest drag bars, and frequent, unvarnished musings on aging, bodies, and queerness.
[01:32-03:15]
[03:20-04:26]
[05:46-09:21]
[07:25-09:00]
[09:42-13:46]
[13:53-15:35]
[16:43-23:38]
[23:41-25:17]
[29:23-33:13]
[34:09-36:03]
[46:08-47:47]
[40:38–42:35]
[43:04-45:06]
[53:27-54:47]
[49:02-51:16, 65:09-65:50]
The episode captures the signature Bald and the Beautiful absurdist, self-aware, deeply queer humor. Banter is sharp and quick, with digressions into bodily functions, mental health, and drag show trauma—always with biting sarcasm and vulnerability. The trio’s camaraderie is rooted in shared hardship and mutual ribbing, never shying from the weird, gross, or emotionally real.
This episode is a love letter to queer drag camaraderie, shaped by the toughness and heart of the Midwest. Darby and Alexis bring a blend of chaos and insight, deftly recalling the messy, foundational early days of Chicago drag, and exposing the absurdities—and resilience—of queer performance friendship.
For More from Darby & Alexis:
Check out their show IMHO (In My Homosexual Opinion) and live shows (with unique set lists... maybe).
“Together, this is...hey, you're here.” – Trixie [63:29]