Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries with Trixie and Katya

Summary

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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Episode: "Kim Chi's Love Affair with Public Libraries" (Nov 25, 2025)

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Episode Overview

This episode is a riotous, candid conversation with beloved drag superstar and cookbook author Kim Chi. Trixie and Katya welcome Kim to discuss her new double book release–a young adult graphic novel about saving public libraries and a vibrant, global cookbook forged from her own adventures. With the usual razor-sharp wit, the trio covers topics ranging from the importance of public libraries, drag performance culture, travel, food, dealing with fame, and the often grimy reality of working nightlife gigs. The episode is peppered with hilarious asides, stories from the trenches, and pointed commentary on drag etiquette and celebrity culture.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Kim Chi's Double Book Release (02:40 – 05:40, 17:09 – 18:07)

• Kim Chi shares her triumph (and exhaustion) at releasing two books simultaneously: a YA novel ("Donatella Macci and the Library Avengers") about saving a public library, and a drag-queen-themed global cookbook.
  • "One is a young adult novel called Donatella Macci and the Library Avengers." – Kim (03:28)
• The novel is part graphic and part prose, co-authored due to English being Kim’s second language.
  • "English is my second language, here, I'm trying my best..." – Kim (04:17)
• The library in the novel is humorously named Ferkus Library in honor of Trixie (out-of-drag: Brian Firkus).
  • "It's called Ferkus Library." – Kim (03:59)

2. Public Libraries Are Everything (04:48 – 06:00)

• Kim and the hosts share sincere, nostalgic stories about public libraries being a crucial lifeline:
  • Kim read to get food: "If you read five books, you get, like, a voucher for a bagel. So I read as many books as possible just to feed myself." – Kim (05:45)
• Katya and Trixie recall using microfiche and the thrill of uncovering local mysteries ("the blizzard of '28!" [05:22]).

3. Kim’s Culinary Adventures & Cookbook (17:11 – 18:45)

• Kim's cookbook "Kimchi Eats the World" was inspired by her inability to travel and indulge during the pandemic, resulting in experimental, eclectic at-home cooking.
  • "This book is a love letter to all my favorite places and things I’ve eaten.” – Kim (17:27)
• If she had to choose one cuisine forever: "Definitely Asian…Korean is my soul food. If not, Vietnamese or Thai." (18:15)
• Rave for LA’s vegetarian Thai food scene and shoutout to "Love to Eat," a queer-owned Thai spot (18:42).

4. Tipping, Merch, and Bootleg Culture (19:43 – 24:07)

• Kim rails against the pressure to tip at concert merch stands: "But like, concert merch? Why?" (20:13)
• They discuss the ethics of bootleg merch vs. lackluster official designs, especially in K-pop:
  • “Sometimes the bootleg merch is better than the actual merch.” – Kim (22:48)
• Trixie discusses how bootlegs can steal from artists and designers as well as big stars (21:47).

5. Fame, Fans, and Awkward Encounters (24:40 – 27:59)

• The group exchanges stories of meeting "fans" who want photos without knowing who they are.
  • "They want a picture just because they saw a cross-dresser." – Trixie (25:03)
• Katya shares a mortifying travel story about peeing herself on a plane—but in full detail, true to podcast form (27:59).
• Kim recounts panic after beet puree dyeing her pee red on a flight (29:22).

6. Drag Culture: Evolution, Fashion, and Realities (38:01 – 45:02)

• Critiques of current drag trends:
  • The absence of boobs in drag ("an alarming dearth of boobs," 38:50).
  • The tackiness of pastel PVC harnesses (“I’m glad that’s coming to an end,” 40:25).
  • Circuit party fashion staples and the lack of tips from partygoers.
• Classic drag show numbers and the predictable group numbers ("Lady Marmalade," "Bootylicious") are analyzed for their drag queen pecking order and impact.
• Stories of early, gritty drag gigs and club life—changing on dirty floors, being ignored by shirtless party boys, the exhaustion of constant look changes.

7. The Realities of Booking and Treating Drag Performers (58:01 – 59:58)

• A passionate breakdown of what it actually takes to book a drag performer respectfully: pay, a private dressing room, air conditioning, security.
  • "So you're gonna need money, you're gonna need a dressing room, air conditioning in that dressing room, and a mirror..." – Trixie (58:25)
• Kim: "I showed up at a gig to perform, and they took me to a dangerous closet with broken glass on the floor." (58:43)
• Memories of dank, tiny dressing rooms and how far they've come, but still urge for basic respect and professionalism.

8. Drag Race Fame vs. Queens with Work Ethic (60:19 – 63:43)

• Kim and the hosts critique new queens who rocket to fame through Drag Race, but lack professionalism (no-show meet-and-greets, lateness).
  • "A lot of these queens...have no idea how to act." – Kim (60:43)
• The importance of punctuality, work ethic, and respect for fans and other queens is stressed.

9. Touring, Backstage Life & Rituals (67:41 – 71:43)

• Dressing room personalities: Kim prefers solitude and K-pop, Trixie likes the dark and quiet, Katya goes for riotous music.
• The essential role music plays in getting pumped for performance, recommendations include Carpenters, Rose Royce, ABBA (70:01).

10. Drag Queens as Pop Accessories & Music Industry Exploitation (54:24 – 57:33)

• Discussion of pop stars using drag queens as free props in tours and videos, with very little compensation.
  • "You want to book a drag queen… so you're gonna need money…" – Trixie (58:25)
  • "This pop star asked me to be in their video for $250, transportation not included." – Kim (57:37)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kim on library advocacy:
  "The last place the FBI can't go." (03:36)
• On tipping for merch:
  “Why am I tipping a concert merch salesman when they're not even that nice?” – Kim (20:34)
• Kim sharing immigrant childhood story:
  “I would read as many books as possible just to feed myself.” (05:45)
• On professional boundaries:
  “If you want a photo, I'll give you a photo. Let's cut the game, you know?” – Kim (25:41)
• Raw drag memories:
  "We'd be prone in the dressing room... crawling on the ground..." – Trixie (59:12)
• On professionalism:
  "A lot of these queens... have no idea how to act." – Kim (60:43) "If you're late today, tomorrow start earlier. But that type of person will never, never start early." – Trixie (63:15)
• On fashion and drag trends:
  "I do feel that kids today, like an A cup is a giant jug to them... A huge, like, destroyer titty is truly banned." – Trixie (39:15)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Kim's new books and writing process: 02:40 – 05:40, 17:09 – 18:07
• Public library nostalgia: 04:48 – 06:00
• Food/cookbook talk, LA cuisine: 17:11 – 18:45
• Tipping/bootleg merch culture: 19:43 – 24:07
• Drag fans/fame stories: 24:40 – 27:59
• Airplane bathroom horror: 27:59 – 30:05
• Drag show fashion and trends: 38:01 – 45:02
• Drag queens as pop-culture accessories: 54:24 – 57:33
• Backstage/dressing room realities: 58:01 – 59:58
• Professionalism in drag: 60:19 – 63:43
• Get ready/backstage rituals: 67:41 – 71:43
• Closing (book plugs & gratitude): 73:04 – 74:45

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Tone & Style

The episode is quintessential "Bald and the Beautiful": biting, filthy, self-deprecating, but always earnest about their love for drag, each other, and queer spaces. Kim Chi’s deadpan humor shines as she banters, tells real-life stories, and celebrates her passions for books, food, and drag.

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Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is a must-hear for anyone who loves candid queer storytelling, drag, or has ever suffered through a gig in appalling conditions. Kim Chi, Trixie, and Katya trade honest and hilarious tales about libraries as lifelines, food as memory, the hazards and joys of being a working queen, and the bizarre realities of sharing fame with fans and strangers. At its heart lies a celebration of creativity, professionalism, and gratitude for drag’s power to connect people over everything from a recipe to a library card to a lip sync in a sweaty bar.

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Where to find Kim’s books & products

• Kim’s books: Available "any cool place that sells books" and via her Instagram (73:04).
• KimChi Beauty: Now at CVS, JCPenney, and Ulta.com (73:24).

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“We appreciate all the love that comes our way, but just be real with us, you know? Be honest with me.”
— Kim Chi (26:20)

Transcript

[A]

Hey, Katya, you know what I love?

[B]

Jason Momoa on a bed of mashed potatoes.

[A]

Nuts. I'm obsessed with nuts.

[B]

I know. I've seen your search history.

[A]

No, you little idiot. I'm talking about the snack that pretends to be bad for you, but it isn't. I'm talking about wonderful pistachios.

[B]

Well, slap my behind and call me Shirley. You're talking about wonderful pistachios? The don't hold back snack. Tell me more, oh, wise purveyor of nut facts.

[A]

Well, it came in a package to my house, and each serving has 6 grams of protein. Plus, they're bold, flavorful, and just a little dangerous. You can get honey roasted, jalapeno lime chili roasted, or my favorite, which I tried this morning, dill pickle.

[B]

And as my great Aunt Olga used to say, wonderful pistachios bring the heat, the sweet, and everything in between.

[A]

Plus, they come with shells or no shells for your snacking pleasure. I'm a no shells person. I can't have anything get in the way of me eating. I've got lashes to glue on. I got wigs to fluff. But if you like cracking them, I want you to live your nutcracking truth, honey.

[B]

Whether I'm backstage on the road or hiding in a wig closet with a bag in hand, wonderful pistachios are my go to. I love the flavor of them.

[A]

I love them now.

[B]

Yeah, I love them, too.

[A]

And when I'm in drag, I can't always sit and eat a whole meal. But sometimes I just need a little something.

[B]

A little nut.

[A]

And if I have a healthy option, I'm a lot more likely to eat that. Yeah. So don't hold back, dear listeners. Grab a bag of wonderful pistachios and snack like the stunning diva you are.

[B]

Visit wonderful pistachios.com to learn more.

[A]

Again, that's wonderful. Fullpostachios.com to learn more. Take it from us, we know our way around a bag of nuts.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer avail amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[A]

Extra value meals are back.

[C]

That means 10 tender juicy McNuggets and medium fries and a drink are just $8 only at McDonald's for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California.

[B]

And for delivery.

[A]

Oh my gosh, you guys. We have. We have brand new microphones sent to us from S. And they love the gay signer is actually German. It's German for ran through. And the best part.

[C]

Wait, wait, wait. Does this work give you a clown now?

[A]

Oh, obviously. We have Kim Chi in the house. She is a food aficionado and critic. And now a food book writer.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Congratulations.

[C]

Welcome to the pod Newly A double time author. Kimchi.

[A]

Wait, we gotta talk about this. We gotta talk about this. So Kim not only likes to one up every drag queen in writing a book, but she's going to say, I'm going to put out two at once.

[C]

You know, the two book guilds happen in two very separate times, but, you know, one thing after another.

[B]

And are they at odds with each other? Different sections of the bookstore.

[C]

I actually don't know. All the bookstores I've been in, they've been next to each other, which is cool. But. Yeah, it just happened to come out in the same month.

[B]

What's the other one?

[C]

The other one is a young adult novel called Donatella Macci and the Library Avengers.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

There's a book about saving public libraries.

[B]

The last place the FBI can't go.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Fierce.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And oh yeah. So the main villain, his name is Blob the Drag Sing.

[A]

What is that? Macro aggression? Would you call that a direct attack?

[C]

And you know what the library is called, what they're trying to save? It's called Ferkus Library.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

No, it's not.

[C]

Yes, it is.

[A]

Oh, my God. And that is in commemoration of that. I'm the first person in my family who can read. Oh, my God. Thank you. Probably the last.

[B]

How. How long did it take you? What was the process like writing the book? Did you write it? Did you ghost write it? That's what we get asked all the time.

[C]

Well, I. We quote it with Stefan Phan, who is an amazing writer. I mean, listen, English is my second language here. I'm trying my best, so. But it's a part graphic novel. Part novel.

[A]

Oh, I love graphic novels.

[C]

And nudity.

[B]

Hardcore nudity.

[C]

No, there's no.

[A]

Young adults.

[C]

Young adults, no.

[A]

There you go.

[C]

But you know, I think there's like a lot of themes that will resonate a lot of people, you know, like growing up as immigrant. You guys wouldn't know. Growing up queer, you Guys would know.

[A]

You guys wouldn't know. Growing up bald, you guys would know.

[C]

You know, saving public libraries, you guys might know, right?

[B]

Love public libraries. Unironically.

[C]

Do you?

[B]

Yes. No.

[C]

They're great. It's a great resource and they're the pillars of our community.

[B]

I'm old enough to, like, remember going to there when I wanted to learn something.

[A]

Do you know what I want to do? This happens in movies sometimes. If you're, like, trying to. If I was trying to get, like, dirt on her, I go to the library with that. That thing you turn the. And the newspaper flips.

[B]

Microfiche. Is that what it's called?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Any good? Any good? Like any good detective?

[A]

Any gumshoe.

[B]

If you want to know about the fire in 87 or whatever, the Blizzard 28, you'd go to the, you know, the dark room. You flip the microfiche. It's fierce.

[C]

I'd also go to the library and check out a ton of music CDs. And do you remember when you would, like, burn music into, like, your itunes and I just burned, like, ton of songs and that's how I got me music. Because I couldn't afford to buy CDs. My library had a program where if you read five books, you get, like a voucher for a bagel. So I read so many books as possible just to feed myself.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Reading.

[B]

Reading to eat. That's fierce.

[A]

See, Anytime Fitness knowledge is food.

[C]

Exactly. Yeah. I'm nourishing myself.

[A]

You know Planet Fitness has free Tootsie Rolls.

[C]

You go to Planet Fitness?

[A]

Yeah, they have purple and brown Tootsie Rolls. Well, I guess brown is chocolate. They have purple, grape, and chocolate Tootsie Rolls. And Anytime Fitness sometimes on Fridays has free pizza.

[C]

I would think you're like, too famous for Planet Fitness. You don't get moment. Really.

[A]

I do, but I keep going. But they have charmed on the TV.

[C]

Okay, I didn't. I didn't know they had TV. @ Planet Fitness.

[B]

You can bring your own TV.

[A]

Well, no, they have. They have all the TVs, and they have the same, let's say six channels and it repeats so it's like one, two. And then all of the machines have. And they have subtitles on so you can watch Charmed.

[C]

That's really amazing. I do love charm.

[A]

And we lost Julie McMahon this year. I guess I'm just trying to pay tribute to. Isn't that his name? Julian McMahon from that. Yeah. He died this year, didn't he?

[B]

Cole.

[A]

Cole instead Cole.

[B]

I know him as Dr. Whatever. From Nip Tuck.

[A]

Well, yeah, that's also him. He died last year, I believe.

[B]

Both of them.

[C]

I had no idea.

[A]

Oh, he died in July this year.

[B]

Of what Year of what?

[A]

Of death.

[B]

He died. He died to death. What?

[A]

Was.

[C]

Not to get, like, randomly dark, but whenever, like, I hear news about, like, celebrities passing, I feel a little envious. But, like, you don't have to deal with this like that. Like, you know, that we live in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Twisted metal.

[C]

Especially if it was, like a painless death, you know, Little. Tell us.

[A]

Some days I'm like, oh, my God, I feel a tightness in my. Or like, I. I coughed today. Well, cancer. Right. And then some days I'm like, wouldn't it be nice? You know, like, sometimes it's just so. But we had a wonderful, you know, Andrew Cuomo lost, which gives me hope for one more day.

[B]

Oh, baby.

[C]

But also, like, part of me, like, wake up every morning, I'm like, I hope nothing happens to Toran. Like, yeah.

[B]

In the greatest city in the world.

[C]

Especially, like, considering, like, what happened with the lawmakers, like, recently, you know, like, oh, yeah. I, like, I worry about, like, all the, you know, people in politics that's trying to do the right thing, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because 34 years old world, you know, we live in.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

What about Deborah Messing? Twisted up, crazy, demented, demented 150 Instagram stories in, like two hours.

[A]

I just think that's a lot.

[C]

Now I don't feel, like, bad for making fun of her scarf collection during Will and Grace. No, no. That one show, that singing show. Oh, my God, why cannot I remember Glee smash. Yeah. Because first season she had, like, a different scarf on every time she came on.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And it was the dumbest thing ever. Wow.

[B]

Love your scarves, Deborah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I forever ruined because of her.

[B]

No, I wasn't that good in the first year.

[C]

You're right. Come on, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Low hanging fruit.

[A]

The only person who's allowed to post that many stories to me is vanity. When Vanity.

[B]

They're not about politics.

[A]

When you see vanity stories and the slice is as thin as a Listerine.

[B]

Strip, you get on that treadmill.

[A]

I'm sad.

[C]

Speaking of vanity. So, you know, there was like a video clip of you imitating, like, the real me comes out tonight. Fabulous Friday. There was one day I literally just had that on repeat. And I don't know, it was like ASMR to me. I could not stop watching it. It was just like, on repeat. I was just like, refresh, Refresh. Refresh. I gotta watch it again.

[B]

It's an earworm.

[A]

It's Friday and the weekend. Yeah, the real me comes alive, but.

[C]

I lost a link to that clip, and I was like, lizard upset that I couldn't watch this anymore.

[B]

It's so good.

[C]

So could you do it again for this podcast so I can watch this over again?

[A]

Of course.

[C]

Just the way you did it. Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, she kind of has every fabulous.

[C]

Friday, but do the whole thing like she bars.

[A]

Yeah, she kind of like, wow, it's Friday, the weekend l' Oreal May comes alive.

[B]

I really shouldn't have a drink, but.

[A]

I wish you never drink. But, you know, it is Friday, so, you know, I work so hard, and then.

[C]

And then this is, like, also, like, a really random part of the Internet that no one ever knows what I'm, like, referencing.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[C]

In her cheap Bars Tuesday video, you commented, bring back welfare Wednesdays, you coward.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

Well, originally it was called Welfare Wednesday.

[B]

Yeah. Well, what is.

[A]

Well, I believe welfare has a different meaning in Australia. It might mean faring well.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And people are trying to cancel her.

[C]

For, you know, like, making fun of poverty or something. She had to change the cheap arts Tuesday. Yeah, you commented. You bring back Welfare Wednesdays, you coward.

[A]

I mess with her.

[C]

And I quote that on a regular basis. And no one ever knows, like, what I'm.

[A]

And.

[C]

And I feel like crazy for even have to explain this whole thing. And then after I explain it, people look at me like I, like, am on the spectrum, you know?

[A]

No, no, no. If you're coming here to talk about personal rattles that you speak in your. This is the safe space. Me in my house, either saying, okay, James from Wendy Williams or Jane from the Comeback. James or Jane, at any given moment. Jane. Absolutely not. Cut that. You know that clip in the Comeback where they have the cameras in there and. And there's her housekeeper's cleaning, and they zoom in and they pull a porn VHS out of Mark's, her husband's side table drawer. And the camera's zooming in on it. And Valerie walks in and sees him zooming on it. Pretends like she doesn't see it, and then she picks it up and she's like, okay, we're human. But she's like, you know, and she's like, mark only has one of these. Okay. And he's like. She's, like, trying. It's like BackDoor Lesbians 9 or something. It's something so crazy.

[C]

I have never seen the Comeback. Should I start watching the Comeback or Is it too late, or did I do like to be there?

[A]

It's timeless.

[B]

It's absolutely timeless. It's classic. This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Aura Frames. Good day, dear listeners. It is I, the Slavic siren Zamolochakova. I'm here today to make a declaration. This Christmas, I will not merely participate in gift giving. I will dominate. I will ascend the mistletoe covered mountain of generosity and plant my flag in the summit of familial glory. For too long, my aunt Jackie from Sudbury has reigned as the self proclaimed queen of Christmas. Her perfectly wrapped presents, her smug smile. To her, I say two. No more. This year, the crown shall be mine. My secret weapon. Aura Frames. They're the cheat code for winning the holidays. Personal easy. Monumentally unforgettable. I have already preloaded every frame with a lifetime of glorious baby photos, vacation videos, the family Chihuahua dressed up like a T. Rex in a Santa hat. Every heartstring shall be plucked, every cockle shall be warmed, and every tear shall fall until there are no more tears to be found. And thanks to Aura's app, I can keep adding new photos from anywhere, anytime, Unlimited, eternal, omnipresent gifting power. Each frame arrives in a premium gift box. No price tag, no effort, just perfection. Aunt Jackie may have custom embossed red and green ribbon, but I have Aura Frames. When they unwrap that carver mat frame I got them on Christmas morning, I will watch the sparkle in their eyes, the audible gasps and the hushed whispers as the family finally realizes that Aunt Jackie's reign has ended and her seat on the living room throne will be mine. All mine. I will giggle with glee as Aunt Jackie sees their title slipping away and my family whispers to each other, he did it. Aunt Katja has done it. So go ahead, win the holidays like me. Become the God of gift giving. With the gift that literally keeps on giving all year. Even a historically awful gift giver like me can finally win the holidays with Aura Frames. For a limited time, visit auraframes.com and get $45 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using Promo Code Bald at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code bald. This exclusive Black Friday Cyber Monday deal is their best of the year, so order now before it ends. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Today's episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by 1-800-contacts. Hola la mes amis. It is I, Chef Katizamo, the spiritual descendant of Auguste Escoffier. Listen, as I must confess something tracerieux to you. Every Thanksgiving, I awaken at dawn to begin preparing my signature French dishes for the familial feast. I'm talking about my velvety palme puree, my coquit Saint Jacques, my castoulet that could make a grown man sob into their pumpkin accented linen napkin. But imagine the terror if I reached for my contacts on such a momentous morning only to realize I have only one pair left. Or worse, none. 0rian at all. How could I prepare my champignon saute to the perfect golden brown if I can't see? How could I delicately flambe my pears without accidentally setting fire to Aunt Judy's hideous holiday sweater if I can't see the food, Mon dieu. The entire fete collapses like a bad souffle. The last pair of contacts. Panic used to be my nightmare, but now we live without fear because my next box is always on the way from 1-800-contacts. I've been using them for years and they are the epitome of reliability for ordering my prescribed contacts. They deliver fast, they deliver free, and I can even renew my prescription from home with express exam. It takes less than 10 minutes and gives me a doctor issued prescription I can use to buy my lenses. No other major retailer makes renewal this Easy. For over 30 years, 1,800contacts has been the leader in online contact lens delivery. They have more than 100 million contacts in stock. Free torn lens replacement, free returns and exchanges, and a best price guarantee. So if you find your contacts cheaper somewhere else, they'll beat it. And if you ever need help, their customer Support is available 24, 7. Whether your prescription is strong or you have a ghastly astigmatism, they get your exact lenses to your mailbox with fast free shipping. So if you hate running out of contacts or wasting time on appointments, let 1, 800 contacts do the work as you save time, save your sanity, and never ruin a Thanksgiving cassoulet again. Bon appetit. And bon vision, my loves. Getting contacts doesn't have to be a hassle. Let 1800 contacts get you the contact lenses you need right now. Order online at 1800contacts.com or download the free 1800 Contacts app today. You'll love it.

[A]

We got to get you a backup kimchi.

[C]

You know, I'm sure there are. Joa exists.

[A]

Oh, shut up. Oh my God, she did. Brandon's Party Slian Royale. He said she Was really fun.

[C]

Oh, my God. Amazing.

[A]

Joella, that girl from Drag Race who was like, I feel like LA just expects me to always give glamour. Remember her? Wasn't that what she said? Kim?

[C]

No. She's like, I am, like, known for my looks. I'm the slave and diva of la, the Slasia.

[A]

Yeah. But I don't think she was. I.

[B]

Is it that a slation is an Asian who slays?

[C]

I think so.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I can't speak.

[A]

You don't speak? No, it's an Asian. It's an Asian who kills people. Buffy the Vampire.

[C]

It's a term that I've never encountered until that moment, you know, So I can't really speak to that intimate knowledge.

[B]

Getting a little carried away with these. These contractions or whatever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Too much. It's too much.

[C]

But anyways, back to my book. Yeah.

[A]

So if you guys want to know, let's talk about it, because this is a book that only somebody who's actually traveled the whole world could write. Can you tell us about it?

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

If I said TS recipes.

[A]

No. 75 Kimchi eats the world. TS recipes fit for a drag queen.

[C]

So this book is a love letter to all my favorite places that I've been to and all the favorite things I've eaten. The whole book was conceived. Could you tell that I've been, like, a press circuit and saying the same thing?

[B]

Well, I want to know, though. I want to know. Yeah.

[C]

So the book got started during Pandemic, when I couldn't travel anymore and eat all these delicious things, you know, like the fattest that I am. So then I started making, like, all these global cuisine in my own American kitchen. And this how the idea for the book was conceived. So every recipe comes with a beautiful picture that is, like, a little offbeat and quirky, and there's, like, a little drag twist to it. And there's a story on why that recipe is there.

[B]

Cheesy bread bowl fondue in Switzerland.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

That's incredible. If you had to eat only one cuisine for the rest of your life, which would it be?

[C]

It'll definitely be something Asian. I mean, Korean food is, like, my soul food. But if it wasn't Korean food, I could eat probably Vietnamese or Thai food every day.

[A]

Thai food really is lit. Yeah. And LA has so many good vegetarian options, because if you don't eat fish, sometimes, even if it's not a fish dish, they have, like, oyster sauce or something, and it can be really overpowering. But la, you can find, like, a lot of non fish, even with, like.

[C]

Picky friends or people with dietary restriction. Usually, like, Thai food, you know. Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever loved to eat Thai?

[C]

Oh, my God. Love tweet is so good.

[B]

It's so good.

[C]

Oh, that is, like, my regular go to.

[A]

And the name tells you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you love to eat?

[C]

And I believe the owners are, like, too, like, lesbian, so. Which you're supporting the queer community by supporting love to eat.

[B]

What a gorgeous photograph.

[A]

When I was depressed, I got really into pho.

[C]

Oh, fall's really good.

[A]

Oh, my God. And I would order from these places, and I'm like, the. The soup would arrive so hot that I'm like, what temperature was it when they poured it in this tub at the restaurant? If it's showing up at my house, Basically boiling, because they put, like, the.

[C]

Beef in there raw, and then the hot broth cooks the beef. So then by the time, like, it reaches the table, it's, like, perfectly tender.

[A]

Yeah. And vegetables.

[C]

And you cook the vegetables in, and it cooks it nicely. And then after you, like, sauce it and all that, it's like, the perfect temperature for you to consume.

[A]

Well, the first time I got it, I didn't realize how much of the soup came not in the fluid. So I was like. I thought it was too much woke or something. I was like, too much woke, you know, a little bit like how they want you to tip at the register. I was like, now I got to cook the vegetables, but.

[C]

This is so random, but can I say something?

[A]

No, no, not on the pod. No, this isn't a pod. Okay, go ahead.

[C]

Okay, I am. If someone could, like, enlighten me on this. And I'm genuinely curious. So, you know, I'm a good tipper. I always tip 20%. I tip like coffee, even counter service, everything.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Why is that? When I go to a concert and I buy, like, a $70 merch t shirt, and then I go to pay, there's a tip option. And I'm expected to tip, like, 20, 30, 40 on a concert merch.

[A]

And my favorite is when the tip options are set at, like, 30, 35, 40, and you have to. You have to key in a 15 while they watch.

[B]

It was like, no tip. You have to say, you then press no tip.

[A]

Well, girl.

[C]

But, like, concept merch, why? And half the time they're not even nice. And all they did was just grab me a T shirt or a hat.

[A]

Right.

[C]

And why am I doing that?

[B]

They would be getting paid.

[A]

They do get paid, and they don't.

[B]

Really have a Relate that person, that merchandising person doesn't necessarily have a relationship to the sales of the merchandise.

[A]

No. Right. I mean, I think they're probably allowed to keep that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the. I mean, the artist gets a cut, the venue gets a cut, the manager, the producing touring agency, a lot of times, not to mention the artist that the artist hired to make the graphic.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Maybe gets a cut. Some of them do. Some of them sound a flat rate.

[C]

I mean, of course everyone should get.

[A]

Paid, you know, everyone should get paid.

[C]

But why am I tipping a concert merch salesman when they're not even that nice?

[B]

I think American tipping culture is based on, like, lack of a livable wage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which is a bummer.

[A]

At least it's official merch, which. I just got in a. I just got in a fight with a person at the B52. Well, I didn't get a fight. I screamed, I don't want to talk. I'll talk about it.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

I was at the B52s and I was a little. I had had two bottles of wine. I was feeling good, and I watched Debo and they were amazing, and I was just blown away. And you know, for me, surrounded by 60 year olds watching these bands, I'm in heaven. Right. I'm feeling good. Yeah. My arthritis is feeling good because I'm browned out. You know, I'm just feeling really good. And I'm walking out of the menu and I see the. The knockoff merchandise.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I don't think people understand that you're not just stealing from Beyonce or whoever, the person who drew Beyonce's shirt. Like you're stealing from them. Do you not feel this way? Okay, so do you feel bootleg Mitch is good?

[C]

Okay, so I have a very strong feelings about the bootleg merch.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

I do too.

[C]

Okay, so for example, like, a lot of K pop bands, they have merch. Right?

[A]

Right.

[C]

But the merch, the design is extremely underwhelming. Sometimes it'll just like have their logo on it and no pictures or anything because fans will buy them regardless, so they don't have to try to like make designs. But then you go into the parking lot and you see some of like the most, like, well designed, like, creative design with all the members faces on it. It's like super colorful, like impactful, and like, that is actually a merch that I want to spend money on. I mean, granted, like, a lot of artists have merch that is actually really good. You know, like, Beyonce kills It. And not to mention who has good merch. But yeah, sometimes the bootleg merch is better than the actual merch.

[B]

That's why they need to have little agents and managers go in the parking lot and poach those artists.

[A]

Well, this is the thing. The word bootleg to me is. Okay, let's say this was the exact Beyonce graphic from the concert. This bootleg is that artist is printing that same graphic and trying to pretend that it's an official Beyonce shirt.

[C]

Not. Not the ones I've seen.

[A]

To me, if it's somebody scalping, but they're selling an original design that's not as jailable like this.

[B]

This is a restaurant and a person.

[A]

Right. This is a great example of somebody. If they were selling this in the parking lot, I almost feel like they should go for it. Yeah.

[B]

Because it's too for.

[C]

And I'm not. I'm not saying you should buy bootleg merch. I'm just saying if. If I see like a bootleg artist, you know, or bootleg salesman, like trying harder than the actual artists and this. I'm only speaking specifically for K pop.

[A]

Not like, okay, but they're making an original design that the artist doesn't sell. Yes, exactly. And that's the difference. I'm talking about straight up copies of.

[B]

The officials xerox of a shirt. Then that on a shitty. Yeah, and what you mean, yeah, but.

[C]

Then also, like, some artists are like basically billionaires, you know, and they're also.

[B]

Making a million dollars a night in merch.

[C]

Yeah. So I'm like, do I want to help this per. You know, bootleg salesman who probably needs money for their family, or do I want to support a billionaire? I don't know. I'm morally conflicted in both ways.

[A]

I feel like a lot of times, let's say our ball in the beautiful graphic, we don't even have all the rights to that image. So you're still.

[C]

Oh, so I can steal that.

[A]

But you're stealing from the photographer. So like the people used to come up and want us to sign eight by tens.

[B]

Oh, that's another thing.

[A]

And I'm like, you got this printed at Kinko's. You're also, by signing this, I'm co. Standing on you stealing us on the photographer.

[B]

I'm more offended that they don't know who we are.

[A]

Oh, that.

[B]

I'm. I'm more offended that they're not actually fans. Like once I actually learned that they're just like opportunists or whatever, they're scammers.

[A]

I'm like, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like, I, I don't mind taking photos with anyone, but when people see like a line of like, you know, people forming around you and then they want to photo just because they think you're someone famous, you know that, I'm like, isn't that strange?

[A]

That's how I feel about if I'm in drag, walking to the car at hotel, like through the, through the lobby, and you see like a group of people and they want a picture just because they saw a cross dresser.

[B]

I was at a taco.

[A]

Trixie fans, they're just like a drag queen. I'm like, no, I was at a.

[B]

Taco truck and some girls asked for a picture, and then the taco truck guy asked for a picture. He had no. Who, no idea what I was.

[A]

Did you get for taco? Were you at a taco truck in drag?

[B]

No, out of drag. He's like, are you famous? I was like, not really. He's like, can I see your Instagram? What? And then, and then he was like, oh, my God, because I've a million followers. Whatever. He's like, he was freaked out.

[C]

But see, at least if they're like upfront about it, I'm fine with it. When they start playing this game, like, do I. Do I know you from somewhere? You look really familiar.

[B]

And I'm like, like, he drowned. Does that make sense?

[A]

Does it make sense?

[C]

It's like, are you someone famous? And I'm like, do you want to picture? We can take a photo, you know, like, let's cut the game, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no games, no game.

[C]

If you want a photo, I'll give you a photo.

[A]

Although, no, Mike, but the trade does that too, though. The trade is like, oh, I. They'll act like they don't know you and then they follow you on Instagram.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And as they're leaving, they're like, by the way, huge fan that.

[A]

Yeah. So they're all liars. They should just be honest. They should be honest. Do what our fans do.

[C]

Yeah. Trixie, I hate you.

[A]

Thank you. Do what our fans do. Open your shirt. Show the, the breastplate size portrait of us tattooed to the chest. And then we are like, you're.

[B]

You're, you're crying.

[A]

Yes, you're verified. You're in.

[C]

And just to clarify, we appreciate all the love, you know, Appreciate comes our way, you know, but just be real with us, you know, Be honest with me.

[A]

Yes, but this is the other worst, best thing, which is if you're on the plane and people are walking by, getting on, and they go, big fan. And you go, thank you. And maybe it happens a couple of times. I don't. I feel like being bald. You're just a beacon. People's eyes see a white bald head and they're like, what the fuck was that? You know, for you. Maybe they can. Oh, thank you. But then the person next to you goes, it's a straight guy. All right?

[C]

Who are you?

[B]

I hate that.

[C]

I hate it so much.

[B]

Because then you have to explain why.

[C]

Or what they are like, are you someone famous? And I'm like, am I supposed to. How am I supposed to answer?

[B]

I say, no.

[A]

Yeah, I'm Carrie Fisher.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, what am I supposed to say? I got.

[B]

I got.

[A]

I was.

[B]

I had cancer. I went on Jenny Sally, Jesse Raphael.

[A]

Well, there's this episode of Wife Swap where I famously screamed dark sided gore gules. And people still know me from that.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait. But on the plane, I peed myself.

[A]

Wait a minute.

[B]

Okay, so can I pivot my chair.

[A]

Back to Kim's side and maybe you can have the floor.

[B]

So this happened in the same thing you were just talking about? The guy was like, one of the guys over to the. My. The side was like, where do you. I forget what he said, but it was like. Because the two people had gone past the aisle and were like, big fan, whatever. And then the guy was like, are you, like, famous or whatever? And I was like, ugh. I get up halfway through the flight, go to the bathroom, and I pee. And I guess I just didn't really know that I wasn't done. And. And you know how, like, sometimes you sh. You have to.

[A]

Obviously.

[B]

This is so gross. I'm sorry, but you have to, like, shake or whatever and just. But I didn't.

[A]

Not the penis. The. Yeah, as soon as I'm done peeing, I.

[B]

There. You're like, sometimes you pee a little bit after it's. You try not to. I peed all the way down my leg and on the floor, right? So I basically pissed in. I basically for. I mean, quantity wise, I pissed myself standing up in the airplane. And I had to. I had to get down, clean up the pee on the floor, right? And then I had to walk back to my seat, leg drenched with piss to the. To the point where it smelled like piss. And I know for a fact that at least three or four people in the area knew what time it was, right? They knew that I pissed myself, you know, that I was covered in piss.

[A]

Did you have. What kind of Pants did you have on? Because if you have a cuffed jogger like this. But did you have a gaucho? Was it just free?

[B]

They were white jeans.

[A]

Yellow jeans.

[B]

No, no, they were.

[A]

They were crackhead pee. It's dark brown. You know what I mean?

[C]

Because a little red. Because of a p. A little red.

[A]

What was the panic? Pee.

[C]

So you know like when you board business class. I know I sounds a foolish. You know that they give you like little like. Or apple juice, orange juice, whatever. For this flight had beet puree. It was like a shot of be puree and like a shot of like green puree along with champagne. So I took like a shot of be puree and then later when I went to pee and I forgot that I had drank this like beet puree, my pee was like bright red. So I thought I was peeing blood and I didn't know what to do. And I'm like, am I dying? Like, am like, what's going to happen? So then in the stall, I started breeding like really heavily and I was like, do I get a flight attendant? And then I remembered I drank the beat puree and I'm like, oh, it's the beat.

[B]

Does beat puree really turn your.

[A]

If it's really concentrated, like it was.

[C]

Like it was a really intense red. And I've never had that happen before.

[B]

I. Have you ever had hematospermia?

[A]

No.

[C]

What is that?

[B]

It's been you jizz blood.

[C]

Has that happened to you?

[B]

Three times.

[A]

Let's take a break.

[B]

If we knew more about our sleep, what would we do differently? Would we go to bed at a consistent time or take steps to reduce interruptions to our sleep? With the all new sleep score, Apple Watch measures your bedtime consistency, interruptions and sleep duration. Then every morning it combines these factors into an easy to understand score from 1 to 100. So you'll know how to take the quality of your sleep from good to excellent. Introducing the new sleep score on Apple Watch, iPhone 11 or later required my deliciously doomed listeners gather close as this episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by ritual. The holiday season creeps toward us with soft footed menace, bringing with it a cavalcade of temptations that strike fear into the core of one's gut microbiome. Observe the terror of desserts piled as high as ancient tombs, charcuterie boards glistening with spectral meats, pumpkin pies that lure the unsuspecting into sugary submission, and the unspeakable monstrosity known as the turducken. Each celebration beckons you closer, whispering sweet nothings that pull you far from your routine and deeper into nutritional chaos. Let me be real for a moment, my trembling friends. Our diets are not always the most balanced. This time of year. I have wandered through many a haunted banquet hall and I too have felt the shuddering cry of my own gastrointestinal system begging for mercy. This is why I take Ritual Symbiotic Plus. It gives me peace of mind during the season of pious pastries in peril. For within Symbiotic plus lies a force potent enough to hush the horrors of holiday indulgence. It's a three in one powerhouse of clinically studied prebiotics, probiotics, and you guessed it, postbiotics designed to support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. I adore that ritual products contain high quality, clean ingredients and every bottle is vegan and GMO free and tested for heavy metals and common allergens. I feel lighter, calmer, far less haunted since taking Symbiotic Plus. But listen closely as I tell you this year, genius of Ritual Synbiotic plus. It is crafted with a delayed release capsule designed to reach the colon rather than the stomach. The ideal place for probiotics to surv and thrive. And each day I greet a mint scented capsule that supports bloat, gut health and regularity without any animal products or shady fillers. And now a final twist in our tale. Rituals Black Friday sale is here. Yes, even in the dark of winter, there is salvation. Step boldly into the light. Claim your victory over holiday feasts and let Symbiotic plus be the guardian that keeps the terrors of your gut at bay. So get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Our listeners get early access to their Black Friday sale for 40% off your first month at ritual.com bald that's ritual.com/bald for 40% off your first month. Don't miss out on their best sale of the [e-mail] bald.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by.

[B]

Netflix Global superstar and comedy sensation Kevin.

[A]

Hart returns for his fifth Netflix special. Acting my age I'm not the same.

[C]

Man that I used to be.

[B]

I go down the stairs sideways.

[C]

Go ahead.

[B]

You in a rush.

[A]

Go around with a fresh perspective on life, family and getting older.

[B]

Older you get, the less you can have. Is this sesame seeds on that bun?

[A]

Get it out of here. Kevin's bringing his signature high energy humor and physical comedy in a true return.

[B]

To his stand up origins.

[A]

Watch Kevin Hart acting My age now.

[B]

Streaming only on Netflix.

[A]

And we're back. Yeah, she just bled for a while around Halloween too, right?

[B]

Just blood. Yeah. I don't know.

[A]

It was around a Halloween. Could have been a little surprise work.

[B]

It doesn't hurt though. That's the gag.

[A]

I've taken too much vitamins for a while. And you start peeing all the time and peeing like more bright yellow. And I had a. Oh, I'm going to die. Seeing your pee not pee colored is shocking.

[B]

It is absolutely. Especially your jizz.

[A]

And you're on the plane. I had an appendix explode on the plane once and that was. I was in so much pain, it didn't occur to me, oh, I could die.

[B]

So luckily, were you airlifted out of the plane?

[A]

No, I landed.

[B]

I guess. You're already lifted up in the air.

[A]

I just parachuted out.

[C]

I guess because we spend so much time on airplanes, you know, like at some point it's gonna hit the fan.

[B]

I hope I die up there. I would love to die in an airplane. I mean, every time there's like a.

[C]

Huge like turbulence, I think to myself, like, well, this could be the end. And I. I have like my will typed out in my notes app, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

In case like the plane crashes and like, well, they're gonna find the phone somehow and you know.

[A]

Right. They're gonna go.

[B]

I've never been scared of English. Incredible turbulence. I get excited.

[A]

Girl, have you ever. I was in P Town last weekend for Spooky Bear. Have you all ever taken Cape Air?

[B]

Oh, the puddle jumper girl.

[A]

Cape.

[B]

That rickety wheelbarrow with wings.

[A]

Cape. Scared female pilots. No. We did. No, the way there had. Mato texted me at 8:30 in the morning and said he's. He was taking a. We were in Boston doing Halloween. Mato was flying to P Town, but he was. Or he was taking the boat. He said the boat is so turbulent that people are laying off the side of the boat puking.

[B]

The fast ferry.

[A]

The fast ferry.

[C]

I've never gotten seasick before.

[B]

Me neither. The fast fairy is fierce, so.

[A]

But the waves are so bad, he said that they were like jumping and people were puking. So I'm thinking, well, good thing we're flying. The waves are that bad from the wind. You're also going to be in a plane.

[B]

The tiniest little rickety Wright Brothers plane.

[A]

And you know it's all one room. Right. And that one of the passenger sits next to the pilot. And so you're seated and I'm right by. Wait.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

Do you not know this?

[B]

I've never taken that airline.

[A]

The first left chair, like the driver car is the pilot and the other chair, the co pilot chair, they sell that. Some guy sits there. I want to do that up in the air with the guy and said, you're doing really good.

[B]

I'm gonna grab the wheel, yank it.

[A]

And have us all going. Please don't.

[C]

Should he do it? Ball in the beautiful to go.

[A]

It was such bad turbulence. I was scared for the first time, really. I grabbed the seat in front of me and started laughing out of fear and we landed. Thank you.

[B]

How would you die if you could choose today?

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Something quick and painless.

[B]

Samurai swords, drowning in a bathtub. That is like a quick and painless Kim.

[A]

Are you out of your mind? That's not quick and painless. That's like a nightmare scenario.

[B]

That is, that is the, the height of terror.

[A]

Being shot in the back of the head.

[B]

No, no, but samurai storage heads.

[C]

If I was like asleep and unconscious, you know, what kind of drug could like make me like path out?

[B]

Fen.

[C]

Fentanyl. Never done it before, but you know, propo.

[B]

Propo?

[A]

Yeah, the Michael Jackson drug. Prophol.

[C]

Where, where do you even get propo?

[A]

A doctor.

[C]

Do you like. Okay, so you don't call up a dealer and be like, can I get some propo.

[A]

No. Extreme peptides dot com. What is it? Extreme peptides dot com, by the way. I asked my doctor about that. I said, well, I have colleagues and friends who get their peptides online. And she said, the single most dangerous thing you could be doing right now with your health would be to get peptides anywhere. But a doctor.

[B]

Oh, please, Doc.

[C]

You know, I feel like a trained professional would say that.

[B]

You know, also, you know, they're trying.

[A]

They'Re trying to secure their bag, but.

[C]

Are you a bad bitch?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. You know what though? I, I, I don't doubt her at all. But.

[A]

You try to prove to people you're a bad bitch by ordering peptides online. What bitch?

[B]

Also, it, it did occur to me recently that just because you haven't MD doesn't mean you are good at all. Don't trust doctors willy nilly. Or don't trust doctors just period.

[C]

You don't get a second opinion is what they say. Right?

[B]

Third, fourth. I mean, a lot of doctors are drunk, bad, stupid, negligent. I mean, you know what I mean, Doogie.

[A]

How's it worth a kid?

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I. What's this? What are, what are the, what are the worst things going on in drag Right now with the way people look.

[C]

The way people.

[A]

I think let's start on the left. Very sharp and broadened, like, awareness of all the different types of drag and skill levels. What do you think's the worst thing going on?

[B]

You do have a very sharp, critical eye.

[C]

To be honest, I kind of like tuned out every other drag queen for like the past year. Not because, like, of anything, but I'm just focusing on me right now.

[A]

Honestly, besides having the guests that I see her, I'm. We're kind of the same.

[B]

I mean, for or against wet hair?

[C]

Wet hair. If they don't know how to style it properly.

[B]

And how do you style wet hair?

[C]

And then if it dries up and it gets, like, frizzy, you know, I'm against that.

[A]

Do you think boobs will come back?

[C]

Has boobs been out? I'm. I'm so out of the loop. What other drugs There has been.

[B]

There has been an alarming dearth of boobs in the drag scene.

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Especially on a frame that could use a breast.

[C]

Well, you know, like, in this economy, breast press are probably expensive.

[B]

I'm not talking breastplates. I'm talking pantyhose.

[A]

Roll up socks. Bird seeds.

[B]

Mary.

[C]

I have.

[B]

I have batting in a pantyhose.

[A]

Right.

[B]

With a tie for a nipple.

[A]

She does.

[B]

You felt them. You looked at them.

[A]

I've done more than that. You've jerked off to them. I just, I do feel like you don't need. At the risk of sounding 100 years old, I do feel that kids today, like an a cup is a. A giant jug to them. You know what I mean? A huge dig, like a, like a destroyer titty is like, truly a band.

[B]

Aid must be amputated because it's just too much back pain.

[A]

I'm worried that at some point the new flat chest will become carved out tissue. We will. The dragoons will have concave surgery. Top surgery.

[B]

Maybe humps. Maybe it'll just go to the back.

[A]

To the back. Finally.

[C]

No, maybe, like, legs, you know, are optional.

[A]

Oh, legs are. Oh, boobs. Down the legs. Maybe the boobs are just gonna move. Well, something I'm glad is gone was that, like pastel, like, fetish gear? Like PVC fetish gear. Oh, do you remember that wave of that.

[C]

Oh, I remember. Like, creepy. Yeah. Like, made some, like, really cool, like, harnessy things, you know, like in feminine colors. And then everyone and their mom, of course, started.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad that's coming.

[C]

But then you saw, like every, like, terrible version of it.

[B]

Yeah, I don't like when guys wear harnesses. Are you a horse?

[A]

It doesn't speak to me. I mean, I do hear gay guys say, like, oh, a harness was the first time I felt like a horse.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So I guess if it's a means to feeling good, I guess so.

[B]

I don't want to be a hater.

[C]

I guess it's like a subculture that we are, like, not directly in, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But if you, like, harness, you know. Props to you, mama.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Keeping the letter industry, you know.

[A]

Kim and I used to work almost exclusively at circuit parties.

[B]

Now with. Okay, give us the. Give us the do's and don'ts of circuit party fashion.

[C]

Honestly, there's no do's or does. Everybody's in their Speedos with.

[B]

Oh, they're just naked.

[C]

Naked with designer sneakers.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

It's literally naked with designer sneakers. And are we talking with drugs?

[B]

Are we talking dick and balls and asshole out?

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Like a thong with no back. So what is that? A cock sock?

[C]

And everyone's pupils are dilated and everybody's, like, really, really sweaty.

[A]

Well, that's no problem. But should we show them how they dance?

[C]

It's all.

[B]

But do they have enough buffering?

[A]

Do they have enough PCs buffering?

[B]

They have enough room.

[A]

And, like, if Kim and I were, like, we just met and when we were into each other, we would dance like, it's just this.

[B]

With just the.

[C]

The. And everyone has sunglasses on indoors. All their pupils are dying.

[B]

Oh, because they're bloodshot. True blood black eyes with red eyes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Viagra.

[C]

You say hi to them, they're like, where's the afters?

[A]

Kim and I would do these parties. Not the after, where we would probably be in drag by 9 or 10 and we'd be there till 4:30.

[C]

4:30.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We all on drugs.

[A]

I wasn't.

[B]

Okay. Huge drug addict.

[A]

We were. We had a show early. Like, we would each do a number or two, and then we would host.

[C]

Like in a costume.

[A]

Yeah, Host in outfit. So we do two numbers and then change into a kind of rather elaborate. For a local driver. We do multiple looks, multiple changes through the night.

[C]

No, people don't tip.

[A]

No.

[B]

No. Circuit queens didn't pay you no mind in name.

[C]

Honestly, genuinely, that they were not there for us.

[A]

But we, in our young minds, I really thought, like. Well, we're like.

[C]

We're like local celebrities, you know?

[A]

I really felt maybe more famous then than I do now. I was like, honestly, yeah.

[C]

Or because, you know, like, they. We did all this, like, elaborate photo shoots, you know, that was like to promote the parties and everyone was sharing and everyone knew us. Like when they came to the party.

[A]

You know, one time. Oh my God, kid, we have one time. Kim and I had a fucking gig the night before and we slept in face for what, four hours. Kim and I slept like this like sweet, like vampires, like a pack of.

[C]

Hot dogs just like crusting over.

[A]

And so we wake up, we put on the outfit because it was an Olympics themed photo shoot.

[B]

So you did a photo shoot after.

[A]

In the morning.

[C]

In the morning photo shoot was supposed.

[A]

To be at noon.

[C]

Our call time was like 10:00am yeah.

[A]

And I don't want to say who it was, but the photographer at the time said he just came in and I remember him saying like, hey, I thought it was coke, but it was like G or something. It was like.

[C]

No, it was. He said he was snorting coke, but it was ketamine. And so he was in a cable.

[A]

So he needs to take a nap. So we sat there and dragged and waited for the photo shoot to start.

[B]

But we're talking about he uncayed out.

[C]

Literally like eight drag queens like fully ready to go at noon.

[A]

And a bunch of beautiful Gogo boys, which at the time, I will say the Go Go Boys in Chicago were drop dead gorgeous.

[C]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

Drop dead gorgeous. Muscle, beautiful, huge Go Go boys. And we all just sit there and wait for the photo shoot to start.

[C]

Outside in the sun.

[A]

Outside in the sun.

[B]

Is this person still alive? Was he asleep?

[C]

Oh, actually. So this person dies supposedly. Well, no, no, no. So sorry. No, no, no. So I asked allegedly, my friends in Chicago and people are saying like, he's pretending to die to like escape on the lamp.

[A]

Second act on the lamb.

[C]

I've heard all this confused.

[B]

Double jeopardy. Double jeopardy.

[C]

He pretend to die, look, to like not pay his like debt or whatever, but he's like actually alive somewhere. But I don't know the truth. I am. But at least that was the alleged. This is all allegedly.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Don't even Google who it is. We're not trying to blow up people's spots.

[B]

It was a different of his names. I'm just kidding.

[A]

But anyway, we do these parties and we were in my mind, the amount of work we put in looking back, we're talking two or three look changes at a circuit party where no one cared. We're talking look changes. We changing nails, changing contact lenses changing.

[C]

But in our head we're like hashtag up and coming, hashtag, we're going to.

[A]

Show the girls Tonight's the night. We're going to show the girls.

[B]

We're going to love everybody.

[C]

Like, no one does it. Like Chicago, you guys.

[A]

And at the time, I think that was kind of true.

[B]

Yeah, girl. At the same time, what was happening in Boston?

[A]

The opposite. We weren't going on in Boston.

[B]

We weren't changing nails. We weren't changing costumes. We weren't changing lives. We weren't changing anybody's.

[A]

Changing our diabetes.

[B]

We were so ugly.

[A]

We're pissing ourselves.

[B]

We were so ugly. Not performing for circuit guys, but for bachelorettes who don't give a shit. We looked. We had an opening number and a closing number. The fabric that we wore was a. For the opening was. Or bright orange squiggle sequin on, like, a heavy knit and a green squiggle sequin on a heavy knit. I wore a sleeveless, like a.

[A]

Like a St. Patrick's Day. Huh.

[B]

And there was. You could do whatever you wanted with it. So I wore a shirt and a skirt and shitty black boots.

[A]

Is that what you wanted?

[B]

And then the closing outfit was a brown paisley. A brown paisley grandmother's couch type of fabric. What for Lady Marmalade. Diabolical.

[C]

My biggest guilty pleasure is watching drag queens put together, like, their matching group looks for opening and closing of things.

[B]

This would curl your hair.

[A]

They start the outfit the day before. People just go, just wear something black. But this was.

[B]

This is worse. It was, like, started day before, and then it degrades because you become lazier and lazier and less and less interested in the number. So by the end, you just look like a bunch of. I don't even know what it was. So we looked so ugly and so bad, and the choreography was so abysmal.

[A]

I remember that. I think I've seen you guys do it. Wasn't it? Wasn't it almost. We had like, an. Like, an ASL vibe of, like. If you could read my mind. Wasn't that it?

[B]

There Was that.

[A]

I don't want to say asl.

[C]

It was a pantomime drag.

[A]

People.

[C]

I.

[B]

To be fair, though, we really brought the house down with our box set for Bootylicious.

[A]

I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. I don't think you're ready for this jelly. Because your body's too bootylicious for you, baby.

[C]

Iconic.

[B]

I had Kelly's.

[C]

Part.

[B]

Still don't know the words.

[A]

Can I say that's something about. There's also something about Lady Marmalade. That is a pecking order. Because some girls can get stuck with Maya because.

[B]

And we didn't have. We had stereo or something. Maya's part didn't even come in at the end. So I would.

[C]

So I would.

[B]

If I would. I'll be my. I don't care. Because I could go smoke. You know what I mean? I would come back. Nothing. Nothing.

[C]

And also the token black around the cast is always the Lil Kim, right?

[A]

Well, Kim kind of had the fun part. She had the best.

[B]

She had the best part.

[A]

Pink, but like Christina is horny. And also. Yes, it was.

[C]

Drag king is always Missy Elliott.

[A]

Yes. Oh, my God. The drag king is Missy Elliot for sure.

[B]

We never had Missy Elliot.

[A]

And then it's always like the drag. The reveal is that it's like, whoa, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's a big build up.

[A]

It's never the girl with the best outfit. The reveal's not hitting.

[B]

It was Misery. She was like 6, 5, a black Panama, where it was always a fight between misery and destiny. Being Christina and. And it was just like, you know, the. The booger or the. The troll like me gets to be pink or Maya. And I couldn't be little Kim because.

[A]

The pink part's nice. Short.

[B]

Maya is pretty short too. Yeah, it was very short because it had no.

[A]

Well, I guess. Yeah, the locom part is a lot of words, so you would have to really know it.

[B]

I mean, I know it, but I would come out, I would go blazing out like Maya and then right out the door to smoke a cigarette. And I didn't have to come back because I didn't. It didn't play that part.

[A]

You know, I think that's what Maya does at her concerts. I think she just kind of walks out, goes and smokes. I just watched a movie with Maya and she was in it. She gets killed. Was she in Cursed that Jesse Eisenberg Chicago? No, no, I think she was in Curse that Jesse Eisenberg.

[B]

She was in Chicago.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She was in the subluxing. Yeah.

[A]

Yes. She is quite a beauty. Beautiful, beautiful.

[B]

You know what, wait. Brandi and Monica just did a tour and I just want to say very briefly, I really appreciate their stage wear. They did not come out in the. The same tired catsuit bodysuit, sequin stuff like Jennifer Lopez. God love her, but she's like, Jennifer Lopez is doing this like Beyonce outfit with this like hip hop choreo. It's just. Doesn't make any sense. But like, Brandi and Monica have these fabulous like fucking long Latex trenches. And they're like, I don't know. It's fierce.

[C]

Speaking of Brandi and Monica Queen's doing a duet with the boys. Mine is also my favorite because everybody thinks they know the words, but no one actually knows the words.

[B]

I do.

[C]

Well, you are just so fucking special.

[A]

I never have known.

[B]

Me and my black friend used to do that song.

[A]

I never knew that song. And so when girls. So, like, do you want to just do the Boys Mind? I'm like, I don't know it. I think when we went on a tour once, you were like, let's do the boys. I was like, I don't know it.

[B]

Oh, it's fierce. It's fierce.

[A]

I. I don't even know many duets or a girl. I did Dancing Queen with you and you.

[B]

We always still know that one.

[A]

We. I do know it.

[B]

I know Dancing Waterloo.

[A]

Waterloo. Yeah.

[B]

No, we do know that.

[A]

We do know it. We're incredible at it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

We're amazing.

[A]

We're amazing. Kim and I also, one time. Girl, Kim, jog my memory. We were working someplace in Iowa called. What was that gig?

[C]

We also did a Halloween duet number.

[B]

Twitter Lickety Splits.

[A]

Oh, we did the Boule Brothers.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I don't know what song we did.

[C]

We did Dancing Queen.

[A]

Reheating the nachos.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

We're eating the nachos, girl.

[C]

Drag. You lie.

[A]

I know. It's like, girls want to be her, and we come out, like, shitty. Like, they're, like, black, not even real. Like faux pbc.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That's fine. Kim and I, we did a show in Iowa where they suckered you and I into, like.

[C]

Oh, my God. A group number.

[A]

Yeah. At the end, you guys are going to be in the group number. This girl was, was.

[C]

Was. It was. Yeah.

[A]

And they were like. So she's gonna do, like, a share mix at the end, I think. Share. And you guys are gonna come and you're just gonna walk out in, like, two steps, and then you're gonna turn around and face the wall, put your hands on the wall and shake your butt. And Kim and I are like, what is the song?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What does the stage look like? What is the blocking? Yeah. And it was so hot in there that it was dripping condensation from the ceiling. And Kim and I are completely. It looked like if you took each of us and dipped us in, like, glycerin and lacquer you'd use for the porch.

[C]

I remember distinctively. We were both holding onto the wall Shaking our butt. And Trixie looks at me and goes, kim, what is happening? But no, she's like, dripping off her nose.

[A]

Yeah. She's like, I don'. Doing this. I just. I'm not in a place where I will ever be. Like, will you just come on for the group? No, I can't.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Unless there's a rehearsal for the group thing.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I don't think we should do the group thing. But something about drag queens is like, hey, we're just going to. Although Lady Marmalade is, I think, the great equalizer of, like, everyone in this room might know one or two of these verses.

[B]

Yeah. There's also no Coro, which is why it's not good.

[A]

Well, we all know the verse.

[B]

No, but it's showcase.

[A]

But eventually we're all out there together.

[B]

Yeah, go on.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's corny. It's very, very played out. It's corny. What is the ultimate drag opening and closing for your drag show to the stars?

[C]

Oh, opening and closing.

[B]

So you're performing for Beyonce, for Brandy, for.

[C]

I don't know if that'll have realistically ever happened. I think there are better candidates to good hire.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

But it is happening. It's happening, and you have to choose the program right now.

[A]

We're working it out.

[C]

Bootylicious, obviously.

[B]

What would be your alter, like, if.

[A]

You had.

[B]

Four or five girls in a show? What's your opening and closing number?

[C]

Oh, my God. Not Lady Marmalade. You know, you think it's gonna hit, but it never actually hits the way.

[B]

Like maybe bang bang too much.

[A]

I hate that, too.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You know what? If you just come up with something really random, like what of what is All I want for Christmas is you.

[B]

That's a great group number.

[C]

Even better if it's summertime.

[B]

Yeah. What about Islands in the Stream?

[A]

Somebody has to be Kenny Loggins. What about Kenny Rogers?

[C]

Wilson Phillips. Hold on.

[B]

That's a great.

[A]

You could do that.

[B]

That's three, right?

[A]

Boy is the bottom. Shout out to that. Yeah, that's a good drag queen group number.

[C]

But also, like, as a drag queen performing another drag queens like song.

[B]

Greatest Love of All. Nope.

[A]

Spice Girls.

[B]

We are the World.

[C]

I want to be, wanna be.

[B]

Oh, oh.

[A]

Okay. Well, we don't have to. It's okay. We don't have to do it.

[B]

Did you watch the Victoria Beckham documentary?

[C]

No, I didn't know she had a documentary.

[B]

Well, yeah, David Beckham had a great one on Netflix. And now Victoria had One highly recommend it. I love those, love those great people. Give her a lot.

[C]

Did you ever watch the. The Jennifer Lopez documentary?

[B]

This is me now? Yeah, I don't think that's a documentary. Oh, I, There's a documentary about the, the movie. Movie. Yeah, I, I, no, I'm waiting for it.

[C]

She's, like, looking for a dancer, and she's like, just call Derek. And they name all these, like, celebrities, and they're like, they're not available. They're not available. And she's like, call it like, Derek Hill. And they're like, he's in a wedding. And then she, like, makes his face.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

But it was, like, his wedding that he was getting married, that she expected him to, like, drop his own wedding and come film her movie. Baby, I, I honestly icon.

[B]

Yeah. Her team reached out to me to have me delete an Instagram post that I posted. I was performing with her.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, about 10 years ago.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You said you were doing a show.

[A]

With her, and they reached out to you.

[B]

Yeah, like 2017. I was like, why did you be.

[A]

In a show with her?

[B]

It's a joke. I was, like, so excited to be performing with JLO tonight. My dream come true. Hours later, David's like, jennifer Lopez's team reached out. Could you please delete that post?

[A]

I was like, well, I think at that point, if you saw it, it would have been clearly a joke, don't you think? No.

[B]

Shit. I don't know that she's. Exactly.

[A]

I mean, there's reason why I don't. Because it could happen. But you, I think everyone would know that that would never happen to you. I think it would be okay.

[B]

You know, it's such a fiction. Such. Right. It's a farce.

[A]

Hey, girls, I'm gonna be back. I'm gonna be back at Jacques tonight. People would believe that.

[C]

You know, also, what is your take on random, like, pop stars randomly using, like, drag queens as an accessory at their, like, concerts or music videos? I'm sure you get those offers. Like, hey, so and so is, like, doing a tour and they're gonna bring out a drag queen is not paid. But.

[B]

Or, or what about them mopping their whole stick or, like, their catchphrase and.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Do you want to say any names?

[C]

We can blur it out.

[B]

Am I the drama?

[A]

Yeah, we can blur out our mouths, but we will not cut the audio. Does that help? Does that help?

[B]

Blow my face? Blur my face.

[A]

Down? Solve mysteries?

[B]

Well, what we were saying, it was Cardi B.

[A]

You know, oh, my God, Cardi B's.

[C]

Responsible for my favorite music artist almost quitting music.

[B]

Well, see, I love. Sorry, I, I. Music wise, I don't, I don't really. Not a fan, but of her personality, her, her, I feel like she is so funny, so charming.

[C]

And also now that Nicki Minaj has gone like full maga, I feel like we, we need all the good ones. But you can get, you know, if.

[B]

She can say, oh, all she wants.

[A]

Yes. You know what, though? It's not just we need the good ones. I think we need the good ones might also make you think, like, we need to reach across the aisle. When I hear any of these saying anything like, well, there's good and bad on both sides. I could.

[B]

No, there's, there's, there's, there's bad and then there's horrible.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. To me, anything like, I can see both sides or that the system's broken. Just say you wear a red hat in your room at home when you're alone.

[B]

Yeah. Just say you hate trans people. Just say you hate trans people.

[A]

It's just too late. It's too late. Well, I guess I feel whenever I get. I don't ask. I don't get asked very often to do those group things for celebrities, but I always say no because I just feel like they'll tell you, like, well, so and so really wants to feature you in a video and you have to ask, like, how many other drag queens are going to be there?

[B]

Am I one of 35 drag queens that are irreplaceable? They're replaced.

[A]

Was able because I don't feel like it. And there's often no pay. I can think of a lot. But it's such a great artist who've offered me to do that for free.

[B]

It's such a great publicity, though. I'm just kidding.

[A]

One time was like, we want you.

[C]

To videos one time.

[B]

Blur that out or subtitle it.

[C]

This pastor asked me to be in their music video for 250 work transportation not included.

[B]

Your costume and makeup cost more than that.

[C]

Yeah, it would have almost better if they just said, like, oh, we don't have enough money for budget or something.

[B]

You know, like, yeah, we're, we're broke. We're desperate. We owe the irs, but we love you.

[C]

So. So you want to throw $250 my way and then like, what, have me and stuff for how many hours and feel like you're like, girl, yeah, I.

[A]

Will say the reason why you're so qualified to write this stunning food book is because you love food, you love cooking, and you've traveled the world. I really think that we need to put our heads together and put together some kind of declaration of independence. We the people for. If you want to book a drag queen, like a flowchart of like. You want to book a drag queen. Yeah. So you're gonna need money. You're gonna need a dressing room.

[B]

You need to unfollow Deborah Messing.

[A]

You need air conditioning in that dressing room. You need a mirror. You need to make sure that if there are the drags in that dressing room that they're not going to steal from you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The car to the venue. It can't be a compact car.

[B]

Ms. Thing on the floor.

[A]

No. Recently, I do sprinter vans. Whenever. Looking back.

[C]

I showed up at a gig to perform, and they took me to a dangerous closet with broken glass on the floor.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

And I was like, there's broken glass in the floor. And then they got, like, a tarp and put it over the broken glass.

[B]

And they put sawdust over it.

[C]

And that was my dressing room.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I'm like, yeah.

[B]

It's like, well, that was jocks, so.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Loose rugs.

[A]

When Kim and I used to work at Hydrate the basement, which our dressing was, was maybe. Maybe four. Four and a half. You can't stand up, and Kim's already pushing seven.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And Kim in drag, and she used to wear all these big, elaborate head art. We'd be prone in the dressing room. We'd be like, at Barry's Boot Camp, crawling on the ground.

[C]

And not to mention, the floor's dirty. So if your knee touches the ground, your tightest.

[A]

Your tights are dirty.

[B]

Sepsis.

[A]

Yeah, I.

[B]

You know, I have to think more about that because every time I fucking complain on one of our incredibly cushy, luxurious, wonderful gigs, I'm like, I used to. I used to make $50 performing to no one on a loose rug filled with, like, maggots.

[C]

And you're the happiest that you ever were.

[B]

But take me back. Take me back.

[A]

But you also weren't earning anyone much money, and now you are. So it's okay to say, I hope the money I earn you. I hope some of it gets used to do the things you said you were gonna do when you booked me.

[B]

Wait, what?

[A]

It's okay for you to say, when you booked me, you said that you would provide.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Lighting.

[B]

No, totally. But when I get Those doing it now. No, no, no, no. I'm saying that when I do get all those things, I still complain.

[A]

Oh, because I'm a piece of shit. Yeah, but it's like a special case.

[B]

It's 65. I wanted 64. You know what I mean? Like, that kind of thing.

[C]

Speaking of complaint, you know what's crazy too? Because, like, at least from my experience with, like, working with, like, a lot of new queens, a lot of these queens who's never had, like, a real job, you know, like what, they become old and not become old, but they become, like, of age. And then they go, like, straight to Drag Race. And then, you know, like, they go, like, straight to, like, working these places and they, like, have no. Like, they don't know how to act.

[A]

They've never worked.

[B]

Yeah, that is true.

[C]

And they pull some of the craziest that I've seen anyone pull, like, accident. I'm like, I cannot believe, like, you.

[B]

We'll subtitle it, don't worry.

[A]

Is there anything general enough that the person won't know who it is?

[B]

Give us, for instance.

[C]

No, no, I don't want to start any drama.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Just give it hypothetical.

[C]

But, you know, it's. You know, there's this extremely unprofessional. They're like incredibly rude now when you mean a professional, like, time for, you know, they have like, no respect for anybody else. There was like, from my time, you know, it was like a bad thing. If you, like, didn't do a meeting. Great. Because you didn't care like half the queens now that they just don't show up to meet and grace because they don't feel like what?

[A]

You know. What else was conti. This was like back in the day of Early Drag Race, maybe like the 2015 16s, remember, like a mix and mingle. It was like a group meet and greet. There would always be one or two people who would only show up for the last five minutes of it.

[B]

Well, to be fair, a lot of those people who didn't have a line.

[A]

No, they did.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And time blindness, like a real thing.

[B]

Like, as a group, shows are very. Time is very important.

[C]

I mean, but even like my friends in, like my day to day life, I have friends that like, that I like, love hanging out with. And, you know, like, they're amazing, but, like, they'll just not show up on time. And so then I have to. And I feel like then. Now I'm like, I know they're gonna be late. So then I start Showing up late because I know they're gonna be late. But then I'm like, am I being trained to be late by these people? Like, then why.

[B]

Like, why don't you just say, like. Okay, so eight. We're saying eight, but do we really mean nine? Like, what? You know what I mean.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Why is. I don't know. I understand why time is such, like, a hard thing for many people because, like, we are always on time.

[A]

Yeah, we're same. I mean, part of why we work.

[B]

Together is because 90 of the time, if I'm not, I'm on time because I feel that if you're not, it's directly disrespectful.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Sometimes she's on time, sometimes she's on something else.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And they're all like, oh, you know, like, time. I've. Time blindness. You know, it's not a quirky trade, you know, like, it's fucking annoying.

[B]

That's like, what if. What's her. Who is it? Madonna was just talking about that. She's like, you don't know. Like, it's hard to be on time. I have, like, my spiritual life to take care of. You know?

[C]

There's, like, thousands of people waiting on.

[B]

You on a Monday night.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

And that's the thing to the fans and also the respect of the drag queens. I mean, I just don't think in drag. Like, the truth is, especially when you're on a tour, if one day you're cutting it close, you just start earlier the next day. Also, we're putting on the same wig and outfit every night.

[B]

I'm sure that's all you're doing.

[A]

That's all you're doing pretty much. And if you're cutting it close one, I mean, I will feel like in the middle of a tour, I will get my process down to 90 minutes. Because I know the outfit, I know the wig. You know, I don't know. I'm doing the same makeup every night. I just feel like if you're late today, tomorrow start earlier. But that type of person, they'll never, never start early.

[C]

If anything, they get mad at you for being mad at them for being late.

[B]

And also, like, this, the. The attitude is like, well, you know, I'm late. Well, I also know you're an asshole. Like, I don't know. I guess you just.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I. Punctuality. I always grew up thinking late on time was late.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it was always half an hour early rather than five minutes.

[C]

But also, it is so easy to figure out your day no matter how busy you are. Like, like just, just start your day a few minutes earlier.

[A]

Also, these people have a.

[B]

Assistance and Assistance. Assistance, you know what I mean?

[A]

Solo. We're on like LA time where I also think, I think LA is pretty lax with start times in general, don't you think?

[C]

Everyone's like, oh, sorry, I'm stuck into traffic.

[A]

I was at home, dye my hair blue and smoking weed with my lesbian girlfriend. You know, LA woke. It's that.

[C]

It's like, oh, you know, the traffic is so crazy. It's like you came from VIHO to Viho.

[B]

I had to buy my $18 coffee.

[A]

Unless you're brand new in LA, you do know that some, some, some things at this time of day is twice.

[B]

As long and when you do, I feel like if you live in LA long enough, you just don't agree to do. Like you say like, oh, you want to do this? I can't get there in time or you know what I mean? There's like traffic. You know what I mean? You just kind of like, you plan and you anticipate. You're like, that's not possible. You know what I mean? Rather than, yeah, I'll be there in 10 minutes, 45 minutes later, I don't know. Spread out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The real life hack though, because I have a hard time sitting in the car and drag. The new life hack is if you can get them to get you. They're one of those party buses, housewife party buses with the poles. Either or. But you know the thing where it's a bench that's like U shaped. That's what I got tuned from Chapel Roan. And you can sit in a corset completely upright, comfortably, versus when you're in a car and drag like, I don't know. Yeah, lay me down. Honestly, we're right on top of the car. Like Priscilla. Yeah.

[C]

Speaking of which, was really good seeing you at chaperone. You're amazing.

[A]

Oh, thank you. I was.

[B]

She opened for what, 60, 000 people?

[C]

Yeah, it was.

[A]

I was on at like 6:10, so I honestly didn't think any of my friends would. She text me she was coming and I was like, the light just go out. No stroke. She, she was like, I'll see you tonight. And I was, I knew I was on at 6:10, so I was like, I don't think anybody will see me.

[B]

But thanks for inviting me.

[C]

No, people like showed up at 4:00'. Clock.

[A]

Yeah, it's like a music festival.

[C]

Yeah. Honestly, it's like, smart. And I've never seen a music festival where water was $3 and what the staff was also going on passing on, like, free water to everyone. So people, like, don't pass out from it. Stuff was, like, reasonably priced. It was like a great experience time, honestly, chaperone, like, props to you, mama.

[A]

You know, if you could have seen the dressing room they had for me, the luxury yurt with private air conditioning, multiple couches, a huge desk to get ready, and a mirror, lit mirror that was like this big wow tree. And the drag queen's good.

[B]

She started on time.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So to Beyonce, 801.

[A]

I love start on time.

[B]

Oh, I got.

[C]

Everyone should start on time.

[B]

I got hot, hard, and I came 802. She was on there.

[A]

I was like, oh, when Cowboy Carter started on the dot, pretty much I was. This is something could not like, Let.

[C]

Me tell you, I do not enjoy sitting around waiting.

[B]

You know, I don't either. And we had buffet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, we had food.

[C]

I still.

[B]

I was like, I'm getting antsy.

[A]

What's your ideal, like, start time for a drag show?

[C]

Oh, right on the dot. And I know promoters always try to delay as much as possible to get more people in the door, like, out sales. And I'm like, audience doesn't like that. And it's going to turn off more people from coming to your show because they're like, oh, they're not gonna start till 11. I'm not gonna do that. If I know a show starting on time, I will always show up so I can watch the show and leave.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

8 o'.

[A]

Clock.

[B]

8:15.

[A]

That's it for DJing. They always put me, like, late or last. Because they do. Yeah. They're afraid people will leave. They tell me that. But then I'm like, well, then they're so sick of. They're tired and too drunk or they've danced already for like an hour. So then you inherit, like, a very tired audience and they're just looking at you. They're, like, wiped out.

[B]

Out.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And they don't leave because they paid money. So I don't know. I don't think we should try. I trap people in venues.

[C]

I agree. Honestly. Start the show sometime, you know what? And it'll train people to show up to your thing early. They're like, oh, the show starts at 10 o', clock, so we gotta be there at 10, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Stop delaying it.

[B]

I had to do. I did a little Halloween wiggle in Minneapolis and I was like, I hosted the first half and then there was a little break and then I was the last performer to go and I.

[A]

Was like, I'd rather go first.

[B]

Are you kidding me? I'd rather do three numbers back to back right at the beginning.

[C]

Oh, I love going first.

[A]

When you do Work the World, do you do like earlier in the show?

[B]

Oh, talk about Work the World. That show looks so fun.

[A]

Does that run on time?

[C]

Oh, Work the World runs in time now.

[A]

Kim killed some people.

[C]

No, no. Just back in the day, like, there were some monsters, like, where the shows will be delayed by, like, hour or two because of these monsters. Subtitle they were on a tight ship now, for the most part. For the most part.

[B]

Did you love that? I mean, just. I haven't seen. I've never seen it live. The clips I've watched, it just look so fun.

[C]

Yeah, I think this past concept was fun, you know, but, yeah, ensemble tours, I think it's tough.

[B]

A lot of personalities.

[A]

In some ways it's fun. When I was on the ensemble tours, it was nice because you could almost jump around with your dressing room mate. I remember sharing rooms and skipping around.

[C]

It's great if you like the girls you tour with.

[A]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

I can't. I can't do it. Jinx is. I love her so much, but I can't be in the same room with her because she's deafeningly singing in your ears.

[A]

Well, I remember, like, the first time I did a tour where I got to, like. Oh, my first time, I get to share dressing with Farah. I have that moment of me and her getting to get ready and you really bond.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When you get ready with people. Do you have your own dressing room?

[C]

Depends on the venue. You know, how it's. Some venues have, like, more things, some venues don't.

[A]

Who's your go to sharing dressing room Diva.

[C]

This past tour? Honestly, no one. I mean, I like. I like all the girls. I like all the girls on tour, but I want to be naked in my room. I want to play my music. I don't want, you know, like, my music to, like, worry about, like, are you going to like the music I'm playing? You know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I like to watch. When I'm on tour, I like to watch TV shows in the dark. No, I like to put a TV show on and watch, like, an episode a day.

[B]

She gets ready with the compact in the complete dark.

[A]

I love quiet and dark dressing rooms.

[C]

Yeah, that's absolutely valid.

[A]

At least dim.

[B]

I like super bright, very loud, annoying music.

[A]

JBL in the face.

[B]

Yeah, I know. It's.

[A]

It's not.

[C]

No, I like. I like super bright, too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I liked.

[C]

And I like K pop blasting in.

[B]

Yeah. I realized my music sounds like chalk nails on a chalkboard to everybody else.

[A]

No, I actually like it. And I. For me, I like the JBL to turn it on, like, when I'm putting on my body when it's time to, like, get in character in a way.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

The music will help me get to the. And when we're on tour and we're feeling nothing inside, sometimes have to take that jbl. I pump it up and use it to walk to the stage. The music will walk to the stage.

[C]

Just, like, getting you in the groove.

[A]

You know, you got pumping. So I don't know. Sometimes the music helps.

[B]

Do you have a good pump up song if you had to listen to only one song for the rest of your life while getting in drag only once?

[C]

Oh, my God. That is a very deep question. The Carpenters. Superstar Love.

[B]

I probably do Carpenter wash.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Five minutes.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[A]

Rose Royce.

[B]

Rose Royce always gets a great. A great flow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What about you?

[A]

I mean, probably something abba.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Abbott's just timeless. It eats.

[B]

Like, what not.

[C]

Mama, don't make me put on a Fernando.

[A]

No, I love. I. I really love. I really love. Take a chance on Me.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Speaking of Mama told me put on a dress again. Monet and I talk about this gig that we did to this day, where it was Pride with Trixie featuring. We filmed it at the precinct featuring Trixie and her friends.

[A]

But then, yes, there was no air conditioning.

[C]

There was no air conditioning. And at one point, they had us hold these really heavy mannequins, and they had a stance with the mannequins in this, like, sweaty room while Trixie singing Malibu over and over again. And Monet and I were sweating so bad and these mannequins were getting so heavy to the point it was, like, hard to hold them up. And we were looking at each other, like, just listening to Malibu. And now, like, whenever I come across Malibu, it automatically, like, triggers me.

[A]

Malibu. Yeah. It's a lovely song. I wouldn't. I wouldn't sentence any of my friends to a hot room. Hearing me sing it on repeat, I think that's kind of aggressive. But also, it was also right during COVID So that was why it was like we were doing a Pride special at Precinct.

[B]

I remember this. It was like the night. It was like, 400 degrees.

[A]

It was for YouTube, I believe. And then I did a YouTube Pride special with Juno Birch and there was also an air conditioning.

[B]

So, you know, why have air conditioning? It's overrated.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Especially in la.

[A]

Oh, my God. I just did the Blaze Halloween thing2 weeks ago last week.

[B]

How is it? What did you.

[A]

What did you do? I DJ for 45 minutes. Love it.

[B]

That outfit you wore was fabulous.

[A]

That ghost shit.

[B]

The beautiful. Thank you. Oh, it goes, yeah.

[A]

And I was leaving the venue and the person came up and said, I just want to meet you. I run the venue. And I said, oh, what happened to the air conditioning? It was like 1am in the hour.

[C]

Confront her.

[A]

And he. And he goes, oh, we had one of our things went out And I said, oh, bummer. Six year in a row. Have a great night. Like, I don't care anymore. You don't have air conditioning and you keep lying about it. I won't be seeing you again.

[C]

Who's going to be exposed to nine? I don't like.

[A]

It's just too hot. Hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's not enjoyable. It's too hot. Nobody benefits.

[A]

There's no. I'm seeing drips off my face. Hit the equipment. I'm like, what are we doing?

[C]

Have you tried losing some weight, fatty? Wait.

[B]

I'll never forget performing at this.

[C]

Give me.

[A]

Give me that book.

[B]

Whacker with the book.

[A]

If I don't want to lose any weight, I surely will be cooking every single recipe in your book. Where can people get it?

[C]

I'm available any cool place that sells books.

[B]

Books.com.

[C]

Anywhere that sells books. But also you can go to my Instagram link in bio for all the various places where you can participate.

[B]

Congratulations, author.

[C]

Thank you. Along with Kimchick Beauty.

[B]

Oh, by the way, I just got your thank you for the PR stuff.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah, did. Are you guys in CVS now?

[C]

Oh, we're in CVS. We're at JCPenney. We're also on Ulta.com.

[A]

Oh, yeah, Ulta's new.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, Kim's products. I love your products. Your products are constant D. The blushes.

[B]

The highlights, the concealers I used.

[C]

Ugh.

[A]

The drag queens turn out for those concealers. They are amazing.

[B]

I use. I love using them as eyeshadow bases. They're gorgeous.

[A]

Also, the brush applicator. Yes. Like speed of just like.

[B]

Yes, you did squeezy and then. Ah, yeah.

[C]

I love your products too.

[A]

Kim knows everything about makeup and everything about food. So this is a wonderful gift item for anybody in your life who likes drag and likes to eat food. Did. You've always been a foodie, but have you always been able to cook?

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Have you ever tried eating your makeup?

[A]

Never cooked.

[C]

Not yet, but we do. We have just released some lip glosses that are like scented and flavored, so.

[A]

Love that. I'm.

[B]

I love.

[C]

You're not gonna make it.

[A]

Yes, I am. I love cooking. You cook? Yes.

[C]

Since when?

[A]

Oh, starting during COVID I learned using Green Chef. Oh. So it's over for you. Ho.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Can I have that?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This book?

[B]

Yeah. They never sent me one.

[A]

Oh, this is my copy.

[B]

They never said it was supposed to go to me.

[A]

Oh, I can buy one. I'll buy one.

[B]

Yeah. You're rich.

[C]

Thank you. Fat.

[B]

Congratulations on your double book.

[A]

Your double book release. Can I.

[B]

Hey, Ryan Reynolds here wishing you a very happy half off holiday because right now Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off on unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service. Mint is still premium unlimited wireless for a great price. So that means a half day. Yeah.

[A]

Give it a [e-mail] switch. Upfront payment of 45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month. Required new customer offer for first 3 months only.

[B]

Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of network spizzy.

[A]

Taxes and fees extra.

[C]

See mintmobile.com.