Lushious Massacr's Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Episode: Lushious Massacr’s Plan for World Peace Through the Booty Hole
Date: December 9, 2025
Guest: Lushious Massacr
Hosts: Trixie Mattel, Katya Zamolodchikova

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Overview

This riotous, deeply queer episode of “The Bald and the Beautiful” features beloved makeup maestro and viral sensation Lushious Massacr. Trixie and Katya, ever the irreverent duo, steer a wide-ranging conversation that is as hilarious as it is insightful—blending signature drag debauchery with affectionate realness about identity, community trauma, artistic evolution, and unconventional routes to self-acceptance. Expect confessions about butt stuff, reflections on the changing face of drag, and a bold thesis: world peace can only come “through the booty hole.”

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

The Art and Identity of Drag

• Old-School vs. New-School Drag:

  • Lushious, Trixie, and Katya reminisce about the era when drag meant total transformation—a “goddess at night, goblin during the day” aesthetic (08:23). Lushious sees today’s scene as “paint by numbers,” inspired but sometimes lacking originality or commitment to full illusion.
  • Quote, Katya: “Because I wore a lot of makeup, it was like coming home… people wear a lot of makeup. They're the drag queens.” (14:52)

• Presenting as Male and Gender Play:

  • Lushious talks humorously about struggling to “present as male,” revealing the freedom and challenge of gender fluidity in and out of drag.
  • Quote, Lushious: “Who's gonna stick out for the creatures at home who can't present as men? You gotta help them out.” (17:16)

• Finding Self-Acceptance Through Radical Realness:

  • The conversation encourages radical self-acceptance as the path to true originality in drag and life.
  • Quote, Lushious: “If you believe in yourself and you accept yourself the way you are, you don’t make excuses… you’re gonna be an original.” (67:08)

The Rise of “Dragvestigations” and Social Media Stardom

• Content Creation During Hard Times:

  • After work dried up, Lushious started the “Dragvestigations” series, blending drag, humor, and candid monologues in department and discount stores, finding viral success.
  • Quote, Lushious: “I ain't got no more money to even pay my bills… I had to crash and burn and hit rock bottom… the next day, I started Dragvestigations.” (24:27–25:10)

• DIY Hustle:

  • Lushious is a one-woman production team—”run in there, film myself, edit myself, do all… a one woman pony show.” (25:10)

• Signature Editing Style:

  • Her self-recorded voiceovers and meme-worthy audio drops (“no, Brick, don’t do it, little girl!”) became a viral calling card, now even sought after by DJs.
  • Quote, Lushious: “There’s a whole, like, three-minute audio that’s two years old… as I was editing my videos for TikTok, I was like, I’m gonna put in these audios after every little cut that I do. And it became a thing.” (29:26)

Queer Joy, Trauma, and Hypersexual Humor

• How “The Booty Hole” Became a Platform for Healing:

  • The trio dives into explicit, comedic territory about sex, bodily noises, and “ass play”—using it as a metaphor for both queer liberation and the trauma response to heteronormative oppression.
  • Quote, Lushious: “If all the men in America all of a sudden just started playing with their booty hole, I think that would… we would reach world peace.” (50:40)
  • Quote, Katya: “Straight people are mad at us for the way we talk rough. But it’s how we process shit that you put on us.” (32:37)

• Judgment and Hypocrisy:

  • Jokes are made about closeted conservatives obsessed with queer sexuality while hiding their own kinks.
  • Quote, Trixie: “Guess what these motherfuckers are doing behind the scene? Getting their assholes blown out.” (33:15)

• Assurance About Not Being ‘Ran Through’:

  • Repeated gags about who is “ran through” in the group, satirizing gay and drag community debates about sexual openness and “clean girl” standards.
  • Quote, Katya: “I’m a bottom, but I’m like a Madame Alexander doll. I need a secret garden.” (34:25)

Safety, Visibility, and Day-to-Day Drag

• Filming in Public Spaces:

  • Despite explicit topics, Lushious underscores the right for queer people to exist openly in everyday places (Ross, Home Depot) safely and joyfully.
  • Quote, Lushious: “The whole point of my show is I'm a drag queen… but I can exist in these places and I'm not here to harm anybody. I'm just running around shopping.” (31:36)

• Attracting Trade (i.e., Suitors) and Dealing with ‘Panty Sniffers’:

  • Lushious, Trixie, and Katya dish about the realities (and absurdities) of flirting, online dating, and the endless DMs from admirers and creeps alike—“trade just wants a vague shape of a woman, a silhouette, and that’s enough.” (47:14)

Societal Hypocrisy and Historical Drag

• Historical Gender Fluidity:
  • The group notes that fluid gender expression (e.g., Louis XIV, ancient Greece) is nothing new—culture is cyclical, and the hysteria about cross-dressing is invented.
  • Quote, Trixie: “If these idiots who get so hung up on drag just opened a history book… the king of France looks like you.” (54:18–54:33)

Lushious on Style, Practicality, and The Bob

• The Power of the Bob (Hairstyle):
  • Lushious rocks a bob wig for security, practicality, and blending in, but also for camp: “You can suck dick in a bob. You can run around in a bob all day.” (55:24)

Closing Reflections: Be Yourself, Be Unapologetic

• Affirmations for Originals and ‘Bricks’:
  • Encouragement for future “scary creatures” to come forward in drag, emphasizing that difference, not polish, makes a star.
  • Quote, Lushious: “We need more bricks in the world. We need humps and goiters in drag… We need scary creatures out here just being glamorous and giving us everything.” (67:38–67:54)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On liberation through ass play:

• Lushious Massacr: “If all the men in America all of a sudden just started playing with their booty hole, I think that would—we would reach world peace.” (50:40)

On queer trauma and humor:

• Katya: “Straight people are mad at us for the way we talk rough. But it’s how we process shit that you put on us.” (32:37)
• Lushious: “We do the things we do because of the trauma that you’ve put us through since we were children […]. And now, as adults, this is how we process our pain and trauma.” (32:54)

On drag originality:

• Lushious Massacr: “If you believe in yourself and you accept yourself the way you are… you’re gonna be an original.” (67:08)

Describing the practicality of drag:

• Lushious: “A bob can last forever. You can suck dick in a bob. You can run around in a bob all day.” (55:24)

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Key Segments & Timestamps

• Lushious' Drag Journey & Makeup Evolution: 07:42–13:12
• Reflections on Texas Drag Culture: 13:12–15:39
• Social Media, ‘Dragvestigations’ Origin Story: 22:12–25:50
• On DIY Video Creation & Iconic Voiceovers: 28:21–29:42
• Queer Trauma and Sexual Liberation: 32:24–34:47
• On Trade, DMs, and the Absurdity of Men: 41:14–48:15
• Society, History, and Hypocrisy: 50:08–54:33
• Being Unapologetically Yourself / The Diverse World of Drag: 67:38–68:34
• Where to Find Lushious Online: 68:52

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Tone

Gloriously raunchy, affectionate, and camp—marrying the audacious with the thoughtful, always with a current of subversive self-empowerment.

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Where to Follow Lushious Massacr

• TikTok/Instagram/YouTube: @lusciousmassacre
• Series: Dragvestigations (YouTube)

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This episode stands out as both a comedic masterclass in queer storytelling and a bold, affirming declaration of radical authenticity through drag. An instant classic for listeners craving both laughs and a dose of realness.

Transcript

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hey, Katya, you know what I love?

[Trixie Mattel]

Jason Momoa on a bed of mashed potatoes.

[Luscious Massacre]

Nuts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm obsessed with nuts.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. I've seen your search history.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you little idiot. I'm talking about the snack that pretends to be bad for you, but it isn't. I'm talking about wonderful pistachios.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, slap my behind and call me Shirley. You're talking about wonderful pistachios? The don't hold back snack. Tell me more, oh, wise purveyor of nut facts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, it came in a package to my house, and each serving has 6 grams of protein. Plus, they're bold, flavorful, and just a little dangerous. You can get honey roasted, jalapeno lime chili roasted, or my favorite, which I tried this morning, dill pickle.

[Trixie Mattel]

And as my great Aunt Olga used to say, wonderful pistachios bring the heat, the sweet, and everything in between.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Plus, they come with shells or no shells for your snacking pleasure. I'm a no shells person. I can't have anything get in the way of me eating. I've got lashes to glue on. I got wigs to fluff. But if you like cracking them, I want you to live your nutcracking truth, honey.

[Trixie Mattel]

Whether I'm backstage on the road or hiding in a wig closet with a bag in hand, wonderful pistachios are my go to. I love the flavor of them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love them now.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I love them, too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And when I'm in drag, I can't always sit and eat a whole meal. But sometimes I just need a little.

[Trixie Mattel]

Something, a little nut.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And if I have a healthy option, I'm a lot more likely to eat that. Yeah. So don't hold back, dear listeners. Grab a bag of wonderful pistachios and snack like the stunning diva you are.

[Trixie Mattel]

Visit wonderful pistachios.com to learn more.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Again, that's wonderful. Fullpastachios.com to learn more. Take it from us. We know our way around a bag of nuts.

[Monet X Change]

All right, y', all, gather round, because Monet exchange from sibling rivalry is here with an announcement. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Google Gemini. Now, listen, the girls over at Google, said Monet tell the children. So I'm telling you, us college students. Get Google Gemini's pro plan free for one year. Use the best model in the world for multimodal understanding. So whether you're uploading a video to get feedback on your presentation.

[Luscious Massacre]

Upload.

[Monet X Change]

Uploading a photo of your homework to ask for help, or transcribing Notes from a lecture you missed. Gemini 3 Pro can help. And, baby, if I had this in college, oh, she would have been unstoppable. Picture it. Monet X changed in the library. Uploading picture of my music theory homework. Like Gemini, please help a diva out. Or recording my rehearsal videos for feedback instead of crying in the practice room for three hours. This would have been life changing. Now back to the goods. Sign up to get more access to Google's Most accurate model, Gemini 3 Pro. Unlimited image uploads, pro level image editing, higher limits in NotebookLM, Gemini in Gmail and Docs. Two terabytes of storage and more. You heard me. Two terabytes. That's enough space to store every vocal warmup, drag race look, and every photo your aunt sends you of her plants. Visit Gemini Google students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply.

[Marshall's Advertiser]

Marshall's buyers are hustling hard to get amazing new gifts into stores right up to the last minute. Like a designer perfume for that friend who never RSVP'd wishlist topping toys for her kids who came too.

[Luscious Massacre]

Mm.

[Marshall's Advertiser]

Belgian chocolates for the neighbor. A cozy scarf for your boss. And a wool jacket for your husband that you definitely did not almost forget. Marshalls, we get the deals. You get the good stuff. Even at the last minute. Find a Marshall's near you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hey, Roach. We're very excited to announce our 2026, very bald, very beautiful tour.

[Trixie Mattel]

You thought we were bald before? You thought we were beautiful before. Baby, you ain't seen nothing yet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We're coming to Boston, we're coming to Seattle, and probably some more.

[Trixie Mattel]

Use code very V E R Y to buy [e-mail].

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don'T just see any cross dressers. See the crossdressers.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hey, Trixie, where do they get tickets?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Get your tickets at Trixie and kati dot com.

[Luscious Massacre]

Wow.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, wait.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Here we go.

[Podcast Announcer]

See?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

You are not just a fart. You're a queefer. Yeah, I can do both.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Double trouble.

[Luscious Massacre]

Double trouble.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Why don't you do a gas release?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

And I have to guess if it's a queef or a fart.

That's a fart.

[Luscious Massacre]

Do you know why?

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

I think I know that? I think a queef has more of a.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

I don't agree. Really? I think they both sound very similar. Are you able to do a queef to hear the difference?

Okay, yeah, I agree. Okay, what about this one?

Was that a thief? That was a faith.

[Luscious Massacre]

Girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I just.

[Trixie Mattel]

Welcome to the pod.

[Luscious Massacre]

I don't know why that's exactly why I came here for the debauchery.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

To sit here for her to show that to you.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, actually, let me tell you this. Have you, what do you, what would we call. Because you know when the girls are getting pounded down and the booty holes just loose a squelch and it starts making like fart noises. But it's not a fart.

[Trixie Mattel]

But she's talking.

[Luscious Massacre]

She's talking to you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Gibberish.

[Luscious Massacre]

What would you call it?

[Trixie Mattel]

Making that ass talk.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay, it's like a. Would it be like a buff?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it's like, you know how you want to make it clap? You want to make it talk.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't want to be fucked in a way where my body is making completely out of control, like rhythmic, like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, no, no, it's not like a seizure. It's not like a booty seizure. It's just like a. It's like a.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's just things that. What about cream? Have you ever creamed? Do you ever get so pound. It's so disgusting that you just start like fuzzling cream out of your booty wet.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, that's kind of a bourbon glaze.

[Luscious Massacre]

No, no, it's not brown. It's gonna cream.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like a thousand islands.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah, yeah. It's like a little ranch. Be a little foam. It might be foamy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like a whole milk latte.

[Luscious Massacre]

But have you ever creamed? That's my question to you. No, it's never been that serious.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

After that happens, I, I, I cream and squirt. I don't relate to, I don't relate to, like windows open. Full light. Windows open. Windows open. And then after the sex, we're not going to clamp me open and I'll take a look like, okay. Once things have happened, I'm like, like cover everything. Throw the, throw the tarp over the bot. Like a drop of Jurassic Park. Cover the dig. Like, you know what I mean? Because we've been dug out.

[Luscious Massacre]

So officially, Trixie Mattel is not ran through.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, she's a pilgrim woman with the tightest little pussy.

[Luscious Massacre]

She takes care of her booty home.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it's not that. I have not had done sex things. When it comes to anal penetration. I need to be in love pretty much.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay, but when you are in love, you do let them go in there and destroy the house.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of course. They bought the house.

[Luscious Massacre]

They own the house.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They live the house.

[Luscious Massacre]

Squatters. Okay, I love that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Obviously, if you guys are listening, we have the one and only luscious massacre in the studio.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I do hope you are watching because you are about to have the hardest to mess and boner you have ever had in your life.

[Luscious Massacre]

What do you mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Looking at your gorgeous body and face.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, I will say I do love that I came on here and y' all are just men.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We don't dress up for this.

[Luscious Massacre]

Just looking like dudes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is the only thing we don't dress up for.

[Trixie Mattel]

Excuse me.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, sweetie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait.

[Luscious Massacre]

Is that a wig?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that a wig?

[Luscious Massacre]

Don't do this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that a wig?

[Luscious Massacre]

Because I was about to be bald and beautiful. I know these girls are bald.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She got her shrubbery on. You said, is that a wig?

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Girl, it looked.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know what? Isn't it hard to present as male? You don't find.

[Trixie Mattel]

She does girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Her.

[Luscious Massacre]

Her find it difficult.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Her wakelet looks like lichen growing on the side of a moss.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like I literally scalped a 17 year old skater.

[Podcast Announcer]

Okay.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's your. Do you. Did you ever experiment in like a boy?

[Luscious Massacre]

Look, I'm currently going through a phase right now where I'm like, when I'm a woman, I'm a woman. And when I take the wig off, I try to be a man. But you naturally, naturally. I'm just so feminine. I'm such a, you know, I call myself a creature during the day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Creature.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah, there's. I got no brows, Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's what we've, we've talked about this so much.

[Luscious Massacre]

My hairline looks crazy. Like, in what world do I look like male? But I try, I try to present.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My fave is when the, the girls out of drag, they look like they're doing a drag king turnabout show. They have basically the chin strap on and the fedora.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, see that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They walk into the club perpetrating. Oh my God, is that Mariah?

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, like, I'm not. I'm from the school of if you're a goddess at night, you're a goblin during the day.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah. Those are my favorite kind of dragons.

[Chime Advertiser]

Me too.

[Luscious Massacre]

The ones during the day. You don't even look like you belong in society.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, it's very Middle Earth.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, it's Middle Earth. You look like a creature, like a monster from another planet. Like you sacrifice your masculinity for drag.

[Trixie Mattel]

You do. Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

That's old school.

[Trixie Mattel]

It is old school. A lot of the kids these days really don't want to do that because it is hard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like when I.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, you know, the kids nowadays, they're just having fun. These Kids.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. With their wet hair and no titties.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank God there's a woman in here today who's willing to talk about it. Because let me tell you, all these girls, they might have wigs and they might have dresses, but I don't know if the girls are doing dragons.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, it's. Because you know what? It is, too? A lot of the girls now, it's paint by numbers. They're inspired by all these queens that came before.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're at the Paint your own pottery studio.

[Luscious Massacre]

Drag. Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, they got the YouTube.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's hard to find originals anymore.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're at the Drink and Draw with drag. They're at the Drink and Draw.

[Luscious Massacre]

They're just playing in makeup and wigs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The girls. It's Halloween all year for the girls.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's Halloween all year. No, listen, this Halloween, I didn't do any. They were like, what are you gonna do for Halloween? Be a man, Sweetie. I've been doing Halloween all day long. I'm tired of it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I get, like, volatile when people are excited about Halloween. I want to go like, you think your costume is something. Yeah. You look like.

[Trixie Mattel]

You look like.

[Luscious Massacre]

We've been doing this out here in the streets. We were doing this during Easter. I was in drag during Valentine's Day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'll be doing this. I'll be in this on November 1, the day after Halloween.

[Luscious Massacre]

Rice, baby. I've been in drag all year long. I'm tired of this. I'm exhausted. Just give it up at this point.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have some questions.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I met you years and years ago. Have you met her before?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't. When? I don't.

[Luscious Massacre]

You have. Let me tell you this. She met me once. It was at a DragCon. I was coming out. She was going in.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was it New York?

[Luscious Massacre]

You were so nice to me. She looked. She took one look at me and she said, bitch, you look sick. You are in drag. I said that and I said, why? Yes, I am in drag. Because, you know, back in those days, I would.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was it LA or New York? Must have been la.

[Luscious Massacre]

It was L. A.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Luscious Massacre]

Because New York, you don't even like to travel.

[Trixie Mattel]

No. New York. I couldn't smoke. I was not in a good mood.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You. Your old paint. As we all learned you. When I met you, when I learned you, it put. It made me kimchi. The rest of us look like we were just little girls with no makeup on. Yeah, you were painted rabid dogs. Like, verbatim, out of your mind.

[Luscious Massacre]

Wow.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think that's what Happened to you.

[Luscious Massacre]

And I was such a fan of y'. All. Like that, that world of drag where, you know, Kimchi, Trixie, me, Bianca Del Rio. Like the clowns. The clowns?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Did you ever, have you ever had sex in that clown makeup?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Just once.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay. Was it, what was it giving Miss Piggy? Well, from A1 to attend to meet my dad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I'm just kidding, kidding. I've never met my dad.

[Podcast Announcer]

Next question.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But when I met you, it was this big, beautiful, elaborate, like theatrical Chinese New Year Disney presents.

[Luscious Massacre]

It would take me like six hours to just do my makeup and then another hour to get dressed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And the makeup was so big, so impressive. Everything that was sharp was sharp and everything that was blended was blended to death. Six.

[Luscious Massacre]

It would take me six. It was like an eight hour day just to get ready and then turn the camera on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You showed up on my feed in your new look doing transvestig drag. Transvestig drag.

[Luscious Massacre]

Vestigations, questions.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I added trans.

[Luscious Massacre]

Basically the same thing, honey.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It only your voice is how I even picked up. This is. Is this her?

[Luscious Massacre]

You don't even recognize me?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Because I met you out of drag and I've met you in drag, but I hadn't seen you in this kind of glamour.

[Luscious Massacre]

Plus like a more of a woman, more soft and feminine. Well, I'm kind. I'm going through a metamorphosis. Like Hilary Duff, right? I'm like, I'm going to be a woman now and I'm just gonna do. This is the face that I got. I'm gonna.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is very Hilary Duff.

[Luscious Massacre]

I'm just gonna go, right? This is Hilary Duff, right? When she was out in Rome living her life in the scooter with Paolo. And Paolo was pounding her down. I'm over here getting. I'm getting pounded by Paolo, bitch. I'm over here getting pounded by Paolo. And so now I'm just a soft woman with a little bit of makeup and just being feminine.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But also. Well, first of all, it still takes a lot of skill to put on this beat. We're making this sound like this is a.

[Trixie Mattel]

The stones are so bewitching.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's not like when I put on these fucking stones. These like these like the plastic go to the obstetrician.

[Luscious Massacre]

Like the cheap, like hobby lobby. The crystals, the big whatever's on the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Floor in the studio.

[Luscious Massacre]

Vine, she's not bomb.

[Trixie Mattel]

These are so. We've got like multi tones. They're so bright. They're so. They're Bewitching.

[Luscious Massacre]

Thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

I look like I have, like, iridescent moles or like. Or like. This is gorgeous.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, I'm from Texas. You know the Texas girls, they put.

[Trixie Mattel]

On where in Texas?

[Luscious Massacre]

Paint. I'm in the South. Rio Grande Valley. Brownsville, Texas.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I've been to Brownsville.

[Luscious Massacre]

No, you haven't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's the gay club there?

[Luscious Massacre]

We had. We. Girl, they've all closed. We had, like, Studio 69. Valentino's. Oh, cradle.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I did a show there once. Jinx did the same theater once. It was a bar. I did it there, and it was right up at the time. That is the closest I was to Mexico.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes. It was right there in San Antonio. Five minutes. You could just cross over.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Little piece of trade down in.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not near San Antonio.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's, like, four hours south of San Antonio. I'm all the way down.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought San Antonio was, like, right next to Mexico.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Brownsville is the city where I tell people I've been there. Texas. People go. You have. They act like it's a remote thing, like, unless you have a reason to go.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you like Dallas?

[Luscious Massacre]

I love Dallas. I love Houston. I love San Antonio, too, because San Antonio is just so Mexican.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

And it's so pretty. The Riverwalk is very pretty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

San Antonio is pretty.

[Trixie Mattel]

Every city in Texas that. That welcomes drag is so cunt. Like, they just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You got your.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, they're nice to your face because they are bitter about it. Well, that's okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

When I leave, they can be bitter.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah. The girls in Texas, they're very, like, old school. Like, you gotta be wearing rhinestones and sequin and huge hair, and you gotta be wearing clown white. You gotta be paint. You gotta have a little black on the cheek. Like, they don't play. Wow. So if you're. If you come in there, you're just wearing a little blush and a lash, they'll be nice to you and then. But as soon as you walk away, they're like, did you see that brick? She had no makeup. She's from RuPaul's Drag Race. She got all that money. She got no mug on. Like, that's what they was.

[Trixie Mattel]

Protect the bricks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, I do think in Texas, I always felt like, because I wore a lot of makeup, it was like coming home. Because the other girls had. Maybe not my level, but people wear a lot of makeup. They're the drag queens.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pageant. I mean, it's a huge pageant.

[Podcast Announcer]

Hub too.

[Luscious Massacre]

No, but have you ever seen the when they go to pageants and then they do interview during the day and they're still blasted. Oh, my God, they don't even look human. And I'm like, yes.

And they still got the black in the cheek. I live.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love when they have their out of drag interview looks and they gotta. They gotta draw on their men's brows for the first time.

[Luscious Massacre]

Honey Wild.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sometimes they even do the Beard 2.

[Luscious Massacre]

Nike because they haven't been men in decades.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

And then now you gotta be a man. So when you try to do it, it's like, baby, that looks like a strange human being. Yeah, I love that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's Halloween. Halloween, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

One of our Boston drag queens used to do pageants in Texas. She was like famous for saying, you got to be a man, girl.

[Luscious Massacre]

Honey.

[Trixie Mattel]

And her, her, her eye popping man look.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, it's because at some point we got to be men.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, but it's very Little Richard is what it often gives.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes, it is.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's very Little Liberace, Little Richard, Liberty.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's cd. It's a cross dresser who lives her life during the day. And you know the cross is there, right? As much as she tries to hide it, she's crisscrossing. Well, there's the CD during the day. At night, you know what the giveaway is?

[Trixie Mattel]

The 6 inch acrylics and the braids down to the back.

[Luscious Massacre]

And you know she's got long hair. No, I do this. I have long hair. And when I'm like, okay, I'm gonna go to the gay club, there's gonna be men, they're all gonna pay me dust. But I gotta try to at least see if there's someone that's into me. So I put my hair in a little bun. And then I try to find a way to hide the bun so that I don't look so fam. Because if I go to the gay club and they see me with hair, with long hair or a little bun, right. Automatically they're like, what about one of those little fezes?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or like a Dixie cup?

[Monet X Change]

Yeah, right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Something, right.

[Luscious Massacre]

I gotta hide it with a Dixie cup or something.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pilgrim hat or a difficulty. Well, I guess that's worse.

[Luscious Massacre]

Maybe I need to just shave my head and start wearing it's actually fierce wigs. Like boy wigs, male wigs. Oh, oh, men's wigs. Dude wigs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dude. Where's my wig?

[Luscious Massacre]

Get into it. You should come out with a line of wigs, call them dude wigs. And then your clientele will be all the creatures around the world who struggle to present as male.

[Trixie Mattel]

I would. I need to be a spokesperson for the creatures who struggle.

[Luscious Massacre]

Who's gonna. Who's gonna stick out for the creatures at home who can't present as men? You gotta help them out if you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Want to talk about creatures who can't present as men. Looking for their struggle leader.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mama.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who better qualified.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was born in this struggle.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's her. It's always been her.

[Podcast Announcer]

This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is in partnership with Airbnb. Greetings, fellow wayfarers of wonder. I've just returned from the wind brushed cliffs of Mendocino where the Pacific roars like an ancient choir and the cedar stand as if carved from emerald dusk. I stayed in a lantern lit coastal cottage. I booked on Airbnb and it was so enchantingly perfect, it felt lifted from a forgotten chapter of Annie Dillard. The walls hummed with the soft sigh of sea breezes. The windows glowed with fog filtered dawn, and every creak of its old wooden beam sounded like the cottage whispering its own legends in my ears. One morning, while sipping my coffee and watching the ocean mist curl across the wildflower fields, it. It struck me while I was wandering these windswept northern shores, my own home could be earning its keep. And you, dear traveler, already have a home too. Why not host it on Airbnb while you're out gathering stories from the world? It's a beautifully simple truth if you think about it. While you chase your travel dreams, your home could be quietly working for you. Hosting turns your trips into something almost alchemical, transforming your absence into a small stream of income, making your getaway feel quite literally on the house. My next journey, a snow covered New Year's Eve in Kyoto, temples dusted with frost, steaming bowls of udon slurped under paper lantern light, and perhaps a fleeting romance with a soft spoken local who sketches watercolor cranes by the river. And if I open up my home while I wander these serene winter streets, that extra income could help me finally refurbish my weathered breakfast nook. So whether you're bound for mossy forests, shimmering shores, or someplace in between, consider hosting your home on Airbnb. Because your next trip could be a vacation on the house. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host this episode.

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You did. You did makeup on we're here.

[Luscious Massacre]

I did makeup on we're here. It was so much fun the entire time that I was there. I was a Student. I was learning what to do, what not to do, what what. How to challenge myself with makeup and learn. Also, like, these girls are working, let me tell you. When we were on We're Here, these women, they were putting them to work.

[Trixie Mattel]

I couldn't. I wouldn't last 10 minutes on that.

[Luscious Massacre]

They were outside for 12 hours in the sun. They were making them run around in these small, conservative towns.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Never. Never.

[Luscious Massacre]

It was a challenge, let me tell you.

[Trixie Mattel]

And they were supposed to save the.

[Luscious Massacre]

Towns, but they were going in there, and they were having to save the town. Art of cross dressing.

[Monet X Change]

I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's a.

[Luscious Massacre]

So you know the girls. It was a challenge for the dolls.

[Trixie Mattel]

Honey, that sounds like science fiction.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Maybe. I obviously have been a. I was a fan of your old style of drag. And then when I discovered your series, which felt like it came out of nowhere, and it came so strong and fast, my algorithm sucked it up like. Like, anytime you post anything online, Instagram's like, we got you, boo. Here she is. Cuz I do watch and rewatch all your shit, and I share your shit so much. I also think it's you.

[Luscious Massacre]

You're so supportive. I'm so sweet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You just eat so fiercely.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, it's because you're. It's. Thank you so much for that. But I also, you know, you are a queen. You're in a position where you could pay dust to all these creatures out there, and she will sit there and she'll shout me out, she'll share my things. And that's, like, it's amazing that you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do know for me to even stop and comment, like, I never comment, but your shit, I always have to say, like, thank you for that. You just.

[Trixie Mattel]

So you're good with that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're very good with that. When did you pivot to this, like, glamour puss version of your look?

[Luscious Massacre]

So I think with everything going on in the world where here ended, I started to see that, like, the doors in Hollywood for, you know, drag queens were closing, especially drag queens who do makeup. And then so I went home, and there was like a year where there was no work, and I hit rock bottom. And I got to the point where I was like, bitch, I ain't got no more money to even pay my bills anymore. Social media doesn't work. It's not working. I'm not. I'm not working as a makeup artist anymore. I had an Emmy, but, you know, that Emmy, if. If you don't. If you. If you think the Emmy's gonna make it for you, the Emmy I. When I got home, I was like, this Emmy doesn't mean anything. I got work to do, bitch. Ain't nobody gonna come over here and give me a job. Especially I was living in Brownsville, Texas. That's not gonna happen. So.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But you gotta star on the Walk of Fame in Bronzeville, Texas, in the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Key to the city.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The key to the city.

[Luscious Massacre]

The key to the city, bitch. But I had to crash and burn and hit rock bottom. And I was at a party one night and it hit me. I don't know if it was the psychedelic, I don't know if it was the trade trying to comfort me, but there was a moment where I was like, what am I doing in this house with these absolute monster, these people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But very, very valid. A lot of people ask that question.

[Luscious Massacre]

I was like, if I don't get my shit together, this is what I'm gonna end up as. The crossdresser in the corner, waiting for the trade to come over here and talk to me. I said, sweetie, this is not my path. I will not live a life that I don't deserve.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thank you, Pearl.

[Luscious Massacre]

Literally the next day, I started drag investigations. I. Yes, I put my makeup on. I said, how can you do this with the skills that you got? But make it easy. You can do it by yourself. Cause I run in there and I film myself, I edit myself, I do all. I'm a one woman pony show.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hell yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who's filming when you're like in the parking lot talking? Do you have your phone set up somewhere?

[Luscious Massacre]

I set my phone up in my truck. I have a little clip I'll set up.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's got a gimbal, she got a backpack. It's all.

[Luscious Massacre]

It was that sense of like, I can't rely on anyone. I can't ask anyone for help. I gotta be able to do this by my own cause I gotta be able to run this marathon. Yeah, I have to be able to do this and every day if I have to, by myself.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, that's a drag. I mean, that's an old school drag thing.

[Luscious Massacre]

You're.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're everything.

[Luscious Massacre]

You're everything I taught myself to in my mind. I was like, bitch, no excuses. You don't have an editor, no excuse. You don't have an assistant, no excuse. You don't have support. You don't have anyone that believes in you, bitch, you believe in you, and you're going to go out there, you're going to do this. And so I went out to Ulta and I started running around, just shopping Which I did every day. That's what I was doing with my friends every day. But now I was just putting a wig on. And now I was going to the Dee Dee's Discounts, Love Ulta. To the Marshalls, to the Ross. Where real people go, too. I'm like, the Home Depot, baby. The real people are going to the Home Depot, honey. And they're getting. They're doing. That's where the majority of people, especially right now in America, it's like, bitch, can't nobody go to Dillard's.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm going to Target. We're stealing.

[Luscious Massacre]

The majority of people can't go to Dillard's or Neiman Marcus or Neiman Marcus Avenue, please, baby. The girls are at Target, they're at Walmart, and they're stealing everything.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Goodwill, honey, and goodwill can be really slight. That's where I get a lot of my Halloween decoration, Christmas decorations. Because the price of holiday decor is so monstrous and crazy. Yeah, get the used holiday decor.

[Luscious Massacre]

I went to an indoor swap meet the other day and I bought a foundation that was $2.99. And let me tell you something, it's more sickening than my Dior foundation. My Dior cost me $70. The LA colors, $3 foundation. It's sickening.

[Trixie Mattel]

Those designer foundations are bullshit.

[Luscious Massacre]

It smells like house paint, but it's sick concealer.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, that's good, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

It gives you cancer, but you're cancer.

[Luscious Massacre]

I mean, we're all gonna die of something. Thank you, honey.

[Trixie Mattel]

Will you do my makeup one day?

[Luscious Massacre]

I would love to.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Someone has to.

[Luscious Massacre]

I would love to. But just know that I'm gonna give you the five, six, seven, eight. I'm gonna put a timer. 45 minutes, the five, six, seven, 8, and you're ready. Well, you know what? I'm going through an era right now where I feel like less is more. Do it fast. Just make yourself look good. Put on a lash and let's punch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, okay.

[Luscious Massacre]

For sure. Let's get out of sweetie and go out there and live our lives.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Six hours.

[Trixie Mattel]

A little too intense for me.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's too much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I will say there's a sweet spot where it's like, for me, longer than. Longer than an hour and 15 minutes with the brush in the hand. It's a depreciating asset. I know what I can do in, like, an hour. The longer I sit there, it's like jerking off. It's like. It's like edging. For what?

[Luscious Massacre]

And then you're wasting your time.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But you got to go Work after.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So you can't sit there forever.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I. If I do that, what I'm dealing with is Father time.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh.

[Trixie Mattel]

So the longer I take to put on my makeup, the more my face reminds me that I'm an old creepy skin.

[Luscious Massacre]

It starts to go in the wrinkles.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. So my window of freshness is about.

[Luscious Massacre]

Into the craters.

[Trixie Mattel]

Two hours.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How did you think of these little isms that you edit into your, like, that type of shit? How did you think of all those? Because they. They hit. They. They're so. They're so numerous.

[Luscious Massacre]

It just happened by accident.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're so numerous. I. Do you edit this?

[Luscious Massacre]

I edit it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You add all those yourself?

[Luscious Massacre]

I have a microphone. I actually, those audios. I don't know what. I don't remember what I was doing.

[Chime Advertiser]

Terror.

[Luscious Massacre]

Those audios are two years old. It was a whole year.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Using yourself as, like, a sample.

[Luscious Massacre]

I was. I must have been doing a YouTube video, like, two years ago, and I was recording, like, an intro or something. And then I was like, I'm just gonna. I just started going, no, Brick, don't do it, little girl. You look like a creature. The D, O, double L. No, you know what? This woman, she looks like a D, O, G. And so I just. There's a whole, like, three minute audio that's two years old. And so then one day, as I was editing my videos for TikTok, I was like, I'm gonna put in these audios after every little cut that I do. And it became a thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's. It.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's amazing now that they. They're constantly, like, luscious. When are you getting, like, a button that has all your sound?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Unrelenting, unrelenting.

[Luscious Massacre]

DJs are hitting me up. Can you send me the audios? I'll pay you for the audios. I'm like, wait a minute. No, you wait a minute.

[Trixie Mattel]

You need to manufacture your own little.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like a fashionista track of you yelling.

[Luscious Massacre]

I would be good on a track.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You would be like a fat.

[Luscious Massacre]

Like, we need to do a track together with love. We would go in, like, a nice.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sexy, hot, like, Runway track of you being, like, yelling, yes. No. Maybe so.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Your version. The sexy version of that.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No and maybe so when the girls try to rip you off, they're gonna be.

[Luscious Massacre]

So. It's getting to the point where now they're like, my dedications for my videos are putting it to tracks. So now these fags are at the club and they're like, honey, have you ever been in the dark room. Honey, make some noise for the dark room. Girls who are getting gutter punched in the dark and like, they're using all my sounds at on these. Like.

Yeah, dry. I love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But, you know, I was gonna say that's definitely not eating your lunch. It's not taking anything away from you.

[Luscious Massacre]

No, I love it. I love it. If. If it brings. That's what I'm here for. I want to bring joy to these kids. You know, they will literally. In the dms, I've gotten videos where, like, they're having sex with each other, like, destroying each other. And they're playing my video in the background. And you just hear me in the back, girl, I went to the Ulta today. Girl, let me tell you, this concealer was not giving. Meanwhile, the fh. He's going in, boom, boom, boom. Pounding this little bottom. Can you imagine? You're getting pounded. You're hitting the poppers. Girl, your eyes are in the back of your head and you just hear me in the back now. Don't do it. Let a girl. Don't do it. That brings you joy in me. That's just like, you know, it's queerness.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But, you know, when I watch your videos, I think I've seen all of them at least once. You also appear to be enjoying yourself. I have a question about. There are times where you clearly grab some person. Like there was one video where you grab this lady and you and her are sitting on a display. Outdoor furniture. Just having a chat.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, it was like. Like a Gayle King and Katy Perry sitting down for a post Space.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes, Chat.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do they think when they see you? What do they think when they realize you're filming? What do they think?

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, you know, I. I do it on purpose. I. The whole point of my show is I'm a drag queen. I'm a cross dresser. But I can exist in these places and I'm not here to harm anybody. I'm just running around shopping. So I love, literally, sometimes I'll grab my friends and I'm like, let's go to the Ross and we're gonna go find a seat and we're gonna just turn on the camera and just. Kiki. Like, if we're at home, because the conversations we're having, sure, they might be gross and disgusting and stupid, but girl, we're not hurting anybody. Sure, people get queer. People deserve to be able to be visible and exist in any space. Sure. Some gay people. Our conversations can be a little risque. We might be a little Piggy sometimes with the things that we talk about, but we. That's how we process our trauma. Bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I saw this video of you talking. I saw this video of you talking about it. You were talking about, like, Kevin.

[Trixie Mattel]

Her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You were talking about, like, if you.

Like, you were saying, like, straight people are mad at us for the way we talk rough. But it's how we process shit that you put on us.

[Luscious Massacre]

Absolutely.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And that was so illuminating.

[Luscious Massacre]

Honey, listen. They will sit there and they will criticize us. Oh, my God, these queer people are pigs. They're so promiscuous. Look at the things they do with their booty. Ho.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Please.

[Luscious Massacre]

Honey, we do the things we do because of the trauma that you've put us through since we were children. You've told us you don't love us. You don't see us. You don't want us to exist. You want us to change everything about us. You reject us. You put us through so much pain and trauma. And now as adults, this is how we process our pain and trauma.

[Trixie Mattel]

And guess what these motherfuckers are doing behind the scene? Getting their assholes blown out.

[Luscious Massacre]

Blown out? Honey, Blown out. Cow pussy. Conservative Republicans. They don't got wigs and panties and dills.

[Trixie Mattel]

Lindsey Graham's black hole.

[Luscious Massacre]

Pound dead. Yeah, probably two arms force a vortex.

[Trixie Mattel]

All this furniture.

[Luscious Massacre]

Let me tell you something. I just had a vision. Something tells me the housemaid comes up, puts on the glove, puts on the Crisco, and boom. And Lindsay's just there getting her line, getting a massage.

[Trixie Mattel]

She can't sit on a bar stool, sweetie.

[Luscious Massacre]

It just goes, baby. Well, honey, at this point, can we. Honey, I was talking about this the other day. What are we going to do when we reach 70 years old? Our booty holes are going to have no grip.

[Trixie Mattel]

Listen, imagine the grip I have. I. I can't even fit a medium sized butt plug on my ass anymore. No, period.

[Luscious Massacre]

She notoriously has the tightest hole.

[Trixie Mattel]

Tighter than a clamshell.

[Luscious Massacre]

Stop it. 43 years old. I could have sworn you were like one of these extreme anal play girls. But all my friends are.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Really neither of us. Really.

[Luscious Massacre]

No, really.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, I'm a bottom, but I'm like a Madame Alexander doll.

I'm very.

I'm very wholesome. We're gonna be fully in love and then it's gonna be one pinky and I'm gonna be like, oh, my God. You know, like, I. I need a. I need a little bit more of a secret garden.

[Luscious Massacre]

Are you the clean girl? Like, you got like the Sanitizer on the side. You don't want the smells, you don't want the scents, you don't want the colors. And this. I'm not in the mud.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just I didn't spend like the years. It just never appealed to me. But I support the Ran through dolls right?

[Luscious Massacre]

I have your shirt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's the Ran through dolls. I bought three of your shirts and I accidentally bought multiples of the same ones.

[Chime Advertiser]

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[Trixie Mattel]

This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by ro.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Ro. Wait a minute here. Let's talk about how seeking health care isn't always about physical health. It also impacts people showing up to work, how they are in relationships, how they are with themselves. I can tell you, for me, it's all connected. When I first started to get arthritis, my. I almost called her. My teacher, my rheumatologist taught me that in Western medicine at least, we're so obsessed with either the mind or the body. Two different doctors, two different systems. All of these systems are connected. I read that book, the Body Keeps a Score, and it was completely illuminating about this exact subject. And everything about medicine and insurance and all that can feel so complicated. I feel like a secret language, honestly. I'll tell you guys, as a person who didn't grow up with a lot of these systems, I often as an adult, feel like I'm pretending to know what everything is. And what I love about RO is RO helps you as an insurance checker to let you know if you're covered for GLP1s for free. Right? If you want to see if you're covered, just submit your insurance card and RO will take care of the rest. No paperwork, no hassle, no waiting on hold. If you decide to move forward, RO can help you understand if GLP1s are right for you and your goals. And that's just the beginning. When you become a RO member, you'll have support throughout the process. You'll have access to your provider on demand. For any questions, go to Ro Co Bald for your free insurance check. That's Ro Co Bald. To see if your insurance covers GLP1s for free. Go to Ro Safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful, sponsored by our friends at Aura. I have to tell you, I'm actually working on a video right now of, like, the best giftables, like the Trixie favorite things. This actually organically went in there. This to me with how much I travel and how much staying somewhat connected to my friends, family and folks at home. It's become more important to me now. I'm like, oh, my God. I can have, like a few people in my life where I gift them these and I can just. I was just in Hawaii. They could wake up to. They could go to work and on their desk, a little picture of me where I am, what I'm doing on the other side of the world can show Up. And then when we do get a chance to connect on the phone, it becomes something where my mom or my friends are like, oh, my God, I saw you in Hawaii. That was crazy. I'm like, yo, my God, I was at a pineapple plantation. It was so cool. It's actually a way of making people feel like they're with you when they're not with you. It's. There's just something much more intimate about calling and saying, this is where I am. Some people are just a struggle to shop for and not everyone wants a thing. But something like a frame that is a present that changes all the time. I have to tell you that the person will like that picture the same amount a year later because it's changing all the time. Unlimited photos and videos. You can preload the photos before it ships. That way all they have to do is plug it in and it's like whatever you want on there. You can personalize the gift. You can share your photos from your phone anywhere all year long. And you can get it with a gift box. All you have to do, it has no price tag and it comes all packaged. You can't necessarily package togetherness, but you can put it in a frame. And for a limited time, you can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $35 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code Bald at checkout. That's auraframes.com promo code bald. This deal is exclusive to listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours to get it in time for the holidays and support the show by mentioning us at checkout. All you gotta do. I follow the accounts of like, I will say, the gentlemen who get like a. A secondhand wedding gown and walk around their kitchen.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, Gwen, Megan. Megan. Lauren with a Y. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Follow these girls and you would think the comments would be like, girl, you need to brush your hair or. But the comments like, so beautiful. So yeah, the comment that I love very.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Supportive.

[Luscious Massacre]

I love it because they get the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Selfie stick in the kitchen and then.

[Luscious Massacre]

Like, yeah, well, you know, people will lie to you, especially on social media.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, but they also. These are like straight men's alt accounts that are dedicated to following cross dressers where all they do is comment on the girls and say, you look amazing.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh my God, can we talk about this? The cross dresser, the panty sniffers and the DMs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

I be getting so many messages the other night. I Got a message. It just said, can you help? Can you help me, please? And I said. And I said, oh, my God. Is this man okay? What's happening? What's wrong? So then I text back, mind you, why would I even respond to this?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love you. Thank you. You're tagging me for the community.

[Luscious Massacre]

Do you need a supportive referral? He has one follower, Van Zant. She's like, honey, are you okay? How can I help you? He said, can you suck this dick? I said, well, sweetie, are you. Are you close? Where are you located? But it's these panty sniffers. They be hitting us up. The famous queens on the. On the Instagram. Yeah, but they hit. They hit you up. They don't follow through, though.

[Chime Advertiser]

My.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My things weren't.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's like the Grinder trade that they. They. What they really want is they just want you to send the picture, send the video. And they're. They're. They're. They're like. They're giving you the fantasy that they're gonna come over, but they're just at home. They're jerking off to your picture.

[Trixie Mattel]

They should all be sent to jail. 25 years, no parole.

[Luscious Massacre]

But you know what? It is, too. It might also be your homegirl. Cause, you know, the girls, too, they all go on Grand.

[Chime Advertiser]

I don't care.

[Luscious Massacre]

But. No, but let me tell you this. There are girls who. They go on Grindr. And they'll pretend to be trained so that they can get, like, let me get her tea. And so they log into their alt account.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, they don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

30 years do that.

[Luscious Massacre]

A friend who would do that, she would go on Grindr. And she would be trying. She would be like, okay, she's trying to get trade. She's trying to get trade. Let me go. Let me get her picks. Let me get her picks so I can get the tea. Meanwhile, they're just playing games with you. There ain't no trade, baby. Trading coming.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What a weird thing to do. Get a.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, you know, the girls are not. Some of the girls are just not well.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People aren't happy, Macroman. People aren't happy.

[Luscious Massacre]

Trauma, they're not happy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And pain. Other. When they see you out here, the.

[Luscious Massacre]

Girls are in pain, honey.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But when I see you out here, living on. I hate to say pleasure. Yeah. Living your life. And the thing. What I think is so compelling about your videos is the confidence, the comfort to go into any space. And truly, the focus is not. Isn't it outrageous that I'm in a Home Depot?

[Luscious Massacre]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The focus is on like, aren't these other people really fucking weird? The situations around you're like the. You're the straight man in these videos. Like you're the normal mind in these videos. And the world around you is plucked and crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are you going on the Home Depot buying hickory, smoked, engineered hardwood or.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, I went to Home Depot to look for trade. Because, you know at the Home Depot you can find a parking lot.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know about the one? You know about the one in Hollywood?

[Luscious Massacre]

They got the hottest man at the Home Depot.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you ever noticed the second floor parking lot?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And in the second floor parking lot in the Hollywood one, I haven't been.

[Luscious Massacre]

So are the girls.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's where they cruise like ground zero.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You should just go to the second floor of the Home Depot here and sit in your car and check out. Check out what?

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, you know, I used. Now that I'm a public figure, I can't do this anymore. You have to change your face again. I would have to like change my face again. Wear a whole different way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Redhead.

[Luscious Massacre]

Hopefully I end up looking. I'll try to look like Daddy DeVito in drag. Just do some Clark Kent glasses, nice rice, no glasses. And turn the bob inside out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yep.

[Luscious Massacre]

But let me tell you this. Turn the bob inside out and they'll live. Let me tell you, the trade does not care.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mary, honey, they don't care.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They don't care.

[Luscious Massacre]

Have you ever had trade? I know, I know you have it, but you got trade. As a woman on Craigslist, she's the original Craig. She gives me Craigslist girl.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was the only Craigslist girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is Craig, baby.

[Luscious Massacre]

It was her. It was Craig. And that's her lips.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is her.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is Craig. My whole self esteem, my whole everything was shattered because I would do. I'd put on my ad, go in the shower, paint fiercely. Do the show or not do the show. And I had three.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Three in a night.

[Trixie Mattel]

Three in a night.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know what? I've done that, though. I have prioritized trade over going and doing a video or doing a show. Things I need to do Wednesday night for $60.

[Podcast Announcer]

No, thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're your own boss, though.

[Luscious Massacre]

But you know what happens? It goes back to, we're in pain and we just want pleasure.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, but here's the thing, though. This was the gag. The gag was that we get it. I thought I was cunt. I thought I. And I would put the effort in. I look sexy, right? And on. I had an 11am appointment with this guy, a paid gig.

[Luscious Massacre]

Not 11am during the day.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. And I overslept.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The people, families.

[Trixie Mattel]

10:45. I woke up. I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I'm going to need a cup. I need a couple hours. I just woke up. He's like, just put a wig on, sweetie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can you believe.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, I believe it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's crazy.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's happened.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was devastated.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mr. Burns, over here in the Dakota dining room.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay, but did you ever, like, do your makeup? You're getting. You're putting on your lotions, you put your wig on, your fishnets, your lingerie, and you look in the mirror and you're like, bitch creature.

[Trixie Mattel]

Never.

[Luscious Massacre]

You always felt the fantasy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Cause I had no lights on.

[Luscious Massacre]

You believe the delusion?

[Trixie Mattel]

No lights on.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Very, very dim, low light.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay. Because if you turn the light on, you know, they'd run away.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no. Listen to this. So after the. After we. In about 10 minutes in, all, my makeup was on their ass, right? So, like, I looked like who done it.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

But we. There was a couple of guys who would chill afterwards. Really, like, evolved guys. And one man had the nerve to tell me, if I saw you out during the day, I would have no.

[Podcast Announcer]

Idea you weren't a woman.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know, that man probably was a little blind.

[Trixie Mattel]

A little.

[Luscious Massacre]

Can I also say he suffered from something.

[Trixie Mattel]

Glaucoma.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When I worked at the makeup counter, people would come in and the. The. It would be with her boyfriend or whatever. And the boyfriend, her husband would say, I don't like girls. A lot of makeup on. I remember this one time, this woman said, well, who do you think has not much makeup on? And the gentleman, her husband. Boyfriend said, megan Fox. And that was a moment where I went, girl, as stunning as she is, of course the woman's dipped.

[Luscious Massacre]

She's in drag.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dipped like an Easter egg. But straight men have no lack.

[Luscious Massacre]

She's wearing more makeup than me right now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Straight men don't know if you have lashes on. They don't understand anything.

[Trixie Mattel]

They don't know about foundation. They don't know about.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But they think anything on the eye is mascara. You notice that they call. Anything here is mascara. Anything here is lipstick or lip gloss. They don't know. They don't have a pencil. No, I'm nothing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah. Well, straight men are just stupid. They're boring.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was so surprised because the bar is totally in the basement for a lot of these guys. They just need a vague shape of a woman, a silhouette, and that's. And that's Enough for them on a.

[Luscious Massacre]

Saguaro cactus, just turn around, put a wig on, put some fishes and some panties on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or you throw a wig on a fire hydrant down the street to that thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But you know what makes me think of when you're. I was grinder and stuff and you see that person on a grid where you, you see the small crossy and you have to click because you have to see it. But then they see, they see that you've looked at their profile. So then they come, they message you and you go, oh, no, I was just looking at you. But not in a sexy way. I just had to see what was up. And it often really is like Drew Droghi as Chloe Savigny. And you're like, well, I have to remind myself that person probably has no issue because again, the men don't care. The men don't care that you put on your cheekbone highlight. They don't give a fuck.

[Trixie Mattel]

They want the wig and the dick.

[Luscious Massacre]

They just want a receptacle where they can just drop their load in other way around. Oh, most of the time you were dropping.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's. She was dropping.

[Luscious Massacre]

She was dropping.

[Trixie Mattel]

90% of the guys these men would respond to me want to get. It's my first time. Hot dog down the hallway, girl. Mary, let me tell you, waxed, douched. I've never done this before.

[Luscious Massacre]

I had a trade the other night. First night, he came over.

Treated me like a woman, made me feel like I had ovaries, xx, a vagina, everything.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Treated like a woman.

[Luscious Massacre]

I completely yelled at you, yelled at.

[Trixie Mattel]

You, paid your halfway through.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You had no rights.

[Luscious Massacre]

He was a misogynist, right?

He leaves two, three days later. He's like, I had so much fun. Can I come over again? But this time I want you to play with me. And I said, wait, what do you mean, sweetie? Put you in. What are you talking about, sweetheart, put him in. Oh, he no, he said, I have some toys.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

See?

[Luscious Massacre]

I said, well, okay, let's you know, I'm a sensible futuristic woman. I understand the world.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're woke.

[Luscious Massacre]

I understand. I'm woke, right? I understand the world. I know that. I understand that men like to play with their anal cavity too.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did he bring out a fire hydrant?

[Luscious Massacre]

He brought out this toy that was a replica of a horse.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Brownsville.

[Luscious Massacre]

Mind you, he was a pro. I put it in. I said, wait a minute, this is bigger than mine. This is bigger than the toys I use. Honey, I'm over here playing with little toys.

[Trixie Mattel]

The kiss to death is like we don't need lube.

[Luscious Massacre]

I'm over here playing with My Little Pony. He was over here with what's the Spirit?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Black Stallion, all those gargantuan.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right. Raging Stallion Studios. He took it all to the tilt. Didn't even complain. No noise, nothing. He turned around, I said, do you like it? His eyes were in the back of his head. He said, I love it. I said, these men are not well. They're in pain. You know what? These men are in pain, too. They're in trauma. And they come to us so we can give them pleasure, so they can feel good about themselves. Because can you imagine the pressure and the pain that society puts these men through?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, see, it's true.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And the part of them that is perhaps, let's say, let's be generous, trans, amorous or open to it, that part of them is so stockpiled with the shame of every. First of all, they already, like, hate women, they hate gay people, they hate themselves for secretly jerking off to any version of. Between the two, right? So they are trying to push through their own layers of armor, discomfort, whatever, they're trying to push through, but the whole time they're balancing out the extreme shame. The extreme.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's because no one gave them permission to just play with their ass. If. Listen. If we lived in a society where when you're born, they. They say, listen, you can play with your penis, you can play with your vagina, you can play with your booty hole, too. If all the men in America all of a sudden just started playing with their booty hole, I think that would. We would reach world peace.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, also, I mean, I was. I was watching this lecturer talk about. I mean, way back, like Sparta, ancient Greece, there was no word for homosexuality. All the soldiers fucked each other.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, absolutely.

[Trixie Mattel]

But there was no identity.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right. They didn't even have the word.

[Trixie Mattel]

There's no word. And there's. So there was no stigma. And so there was no. I feel like we don't need. I feel like these sexual identities are helpful in. In. In a repressed society where we need to find each other, but in a.

[Luscious Massacre]

Perfect world, it's because we're born and immediately we're put in prisons. Yeah, you can't do this if you're a man. You can't do this if you're a woman. You can't do this. They put themselves in so many prisons, and that's why they're so bitter.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But look, better.

[Luscious Massacre]

These are, no doubt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Honestly, the truth is, I think about this all the time. Because I always get tagged on like libs of Tick Tock or all these places, and it's always like me and Jimmy Kimmel reading the kids. Like, I know that's inflammatory, whatever, right? But I'm always like, what is the hang up? Obviously you hate gay people, right? And I guess that. Could you Google religion, whatever. But something about cross dressing is so inflammatory.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about Louis the fucking 14th girl, the queen inflammatory.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's all presentation.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's all arbitrary, too.

[Luscious Massacre]

In this world, in order to do what you gotta do, you have to present a certain way. We are just so free and we are not imprisoned that we can present ourselves any which way. One day we can be a man, one day we can be a woman. We know how to use all the tools at our disposal to gain power. And also we teach ourselves to become powerful, right? Because if we were born and we followed their rules and we stayed in their prisons, we would have no power, right? They wouldn't. They wouldn't care about us, they wouldn't respect us, they wouldn't accept us, they would pay us dust. And they get bitter that we figure it out. We set ourselves free and we come out here and we're like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna make some money. I'm gonna buy that house, I'm gonna buy that car. I'm gonna make my dreams come true. And I'm gonna do it with a wig and some lashes, bitch. And you're gonna be bitter about can take action.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you're gonna have to turn on the TV and see it.

[Luscious Massacre]

And you're gonna have to listen to me talk about how if you just started playing with your booty hole, your problems. Let me tell you, to all the straight men in America, they love our show. If you just started playing with your booty hole, you would solve so much of your trauma, your pain.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

All that stress, release the pain. Just find a cross dresser and have her put a dildo in your ass and you will live your life.

[Trixie Mattel]

That is a political platform.

[Luscious Massacre]

That's what they need to do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Obama change. You know what I mean?

[Luscious Massacre]

Let me tell you something. Donald Trump, if he just. If Melania, if you just started to introduce ass play into Trump's life, what do you think he might. You think he already does it?

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I'm sure he's had nasty ass just punched up that nasty, flabby orange ass just.

[Luscious Massacre]

He's probably one of the. You remember back in the day, they used to always say that gay people would like, put gerbils in Their ass. Richard Gere, Donald Trump is. He has that gerbil in there. The gerbil is in there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And the more damaged you are, the animal gets bigger. It's the capybara. It's the small pig.

[Luscious Massacre]

Honey, what this point, Honey, it's like a. What is it the hyena at this point?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Guinea pig?

[Luscious Massacre]

Honey.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Something.

[Luscious Massacre]

Sweetie. But.

[Trixie Mattel]

But like I always think of it, if literally these idiots who get so hung up on drag, if they just opened a history book and went back three, four or five hundred years.

[Luscious Massacre]

Rice.

[Trixie Mattel]

The king of France looks like you.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, honey.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you know what I mean? It's like all this shit is arbitrary.

[Luscious Massacre]

Because, you know, the mug was busted.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know, back in those days, the makeup was not cute.

[Trixie Mattel]

And sweetie, he had. He was. He was. He had so many fistulas.

[Luscious Massacre]

Stop it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Black ooze coming out that the booty.

[Luscious Massacre]

Hole from all the ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

Play the court. The people in the court had to.

[Luscious Massacre]

Wear scented because they probably didn't even clean the toys.

[Podcast Announcer]

Oh, girl.

[Luscious Massacre]

It was probably wooden toys. They would just shove them in his ass. That's why he had all those. Those boils and fistulas and things.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How did you. How did you decide on the wig you wear in your videos? How did you decide in the little door explorer wig? Because it is kind of a quick little. It's the masters calls it the door the explorer.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes, Dora the explorer. Absolutely. I am Dora and I am exploring and drag investigating the world, let me tell you. But it really came down to ease of use. To me, a bob can last forever. You can suck dick in a bob.

[Trixie Mattel]

The bob.

[Luscious Massacre]

You can run around in a bob all day. You can hide your little brush. You're good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You can wear jewelry.

[Luscious Massacre]

Because realistically, I'm out there in the real world. If I was wearing one of these wigs running around, the Ross people would be like, what is going on?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The bob is very low key. Like, somebody could be a few aisles away and out the corner of their eye, they see your hair right now to the corner of the eye, they're like, right? And then it turns into like, what are they filming? Is this a filming? People could see you and they realistically could be like, is that some lady?

[Luscious Massacre]

I, for the most part, I get completely ignored. No one cares. No one's bothered that I'm just running around in the aisles shopping around for things. Like, no one cares. But which I'm glad, you know, I don't want to be out there, like, having people come up to me and Being rude to me or trying to, like, you know, I don't want to hear their bullshit. I don't want to hear their ignorance. I'm going to read them down if they ever try it. But I'm glad it hasn't happened. And for the most part, they leave me alone. But the Bob to me is just. It's easy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love that we always. I always travel with the backup Bob.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's always like, it's easy, breezy. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it always looks good and it lasts for years. My backup Bob is Bob the Drag Queen. And if I don't feel like doing the show, I just grab her. Can I say, too, I also think in a lot of your videos, maybe you're playing with the audience, but a lot of times men are noticing you.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She can't go in these stores without being like, well, he just craned his neck to look over here and look me up and down. The men are interesting. It's.

[Luscious Massacre]

Cause these men, they, first of all, yeah. And they see me, I'm done up. I'm wearing cute hair, you know, like, they.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They.

[Luscious Massacre]

There's a lot of men that are just feminine attracted, right? I have a theory. I feel like human beings are not actually attracted to a penis or vagina. They're attracted to either femininity or masculinity, for sure. And so men, even if you don't have a vagina, but you're giving femininity, they're gonna come over here, they're gonna try to get it. They're gonna come over here, get this piece, right? Because they're attracted to the femininity. There's been moments where I'm just male presenting, but, you know, I obviously look like a big old fag. I got my brows done. I got my hair in a ponytail, and they will hit on me, right? Because they know, well, you're also in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Your little, like a Gaga, just dance.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right? But they also know. They're like, he's gonna go down on me, right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I bet he's an amazing hairpiece at home that I would love to see.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right? They know we're gonna give him a.

[Trixie Mattel]

Show to borrow some jewelry.

[Luscious Massacre]

These people are not stupid. They know the dolls, the girls, you know, the drag queens. We're gonna give them a show. I love doing a little in or out of stage. We're gonna give them a show, honey. And they know I do that showgirls.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thing in the pool.

[Monet X Change]

It's so.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's thrilling.

[Luscious Massacre]

And that's just you at home.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Nobody there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. The other thing is, I guess if you're filming with your phone too, you can be so discreet. People walk by, shopping, don't even know that you're filming.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah. And I wear my little microphones. I put them in my bra and my titties. And so I'm walking around. Half the time I'm reading them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love when you're.

[Luscious Massacre]

And they don't even know you're like Ross.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you're halfway across the store. But the microphone is so clean. So you just see her head bobbing, walking through an aisle, talking about clothes. And her voice is clear as day. It's so security footage.

[Luscious Massacre]

It is security footage.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Under the radar.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So these people also, the way your camera's set up, if they must think you're just talking to yourself.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah, yeah. They don't know what I'm doing. They don't. And half the time, these people, they don't care. Girl. They're over there, their food stamp. They're trying to come for their food stamp. They're shopping, honey. They're. They're. They're struggling to put food on the table. They're Their wife, honey. Ain't giving them no cookie in a minute. So then they see me. I'm walking around with my little purse, my little bob, and I'm like, yes, honey, don't do a little girl. In their mind. They're like, oh, she's gonna let me have it. Let me go over there and talk to her.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's gonna finger my booty, bitch.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know, I'm gonna go in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you ever feel unsafe out there filming these?

[Luscious Massacre]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's crazy. That's inspiring.

[Luscious Massacre]

I'm also very like.

[Trixie Mattel]

You got your guns.

[Luscious Massacre]

In my mind, I actually. I don't have any weapons. Maybe I should get one. But I'm just very like, bitch, you don't own the world.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't own the world.

[Luscious Massacre]

You don't own the planet. Listen, you can be conservative. You can be crazy. Stay on your ranch. Don't come over here to my house and tell me I can't do the things that I need to do to live my life. Bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And we're in a public place.

[Luscious Massacre]

Let me live my life. I'm not hurting anyone. I'm just running around the rocks. I'm looking for a size 11 shoe. Do you got it?

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Luscious Massacre]

No, I got it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I will not take 10 or it's.

[Luscious Massacre]

Why do you have a wide, bitch? Because I'm a big honey. A big shoe.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Luscious Massacre]

And if you don't got the shoe. Honey, I don't even need to talk to you. Get out of my face. Sweetie, I gotta go. Let me go on over to the Marshalls. Let me go over to the Marshalls, sweetie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Damn. What stores can we look bothered by these people? What stores are you going to next?

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, my God. Well, there's. I don't even know it. I've been everywhere.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Have you done World Market?

[Luscious Massacre]

I haven't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel like that would be ripe.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, I need to go to work. Yes, they do. They got strange food. How about they?

I want. That would be a fun video.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Grove.

[Luscious Massacre]

It would be strange too, because I'm not like one of these older men that has a weird obsession with dolls. I'm not that girl. Like, I was just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Me neither.

[Luscious Massacre]

But you know what I mean? But it would be fun for me to walk in there and be like, girl, what's going on over here with these dolls? You know, I think in a, I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don'T know, one adult man who collects American Girl because they're not chic. They're not giving anything.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right. They're not. They're not cunting. They're not like Barbie little cat tooth kindergartens.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, like Cholera ridden Emily with historical storylines.

[Luscious Massacre]

But you like, like Barbie. You don't like Bratz? No, I don't like the Bratz. I don't. Yeah, I don't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Those are ran through.

[Trixie Mattel]

Brats are for.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Brats are forres.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah. Bratz are for whores. But it's like a. That she doesn't really care.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's Cookie Monster, Pajama girl.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

No self esteem.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know what it is? It's for that girl. She wears those tarantula nails and they're the. The tarantula lashes and they're like one going this way, one the other way. But she, in her mind, she's turning it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, she's turning it. I've been watching that show. Iyanla Vanzant, Fix My Life. Is that her name? Yeah, not on my watch. And a lot of the people she primarily, primarily aids women. Obviously there's men there because men are often the problem. No, she helps the women. And some of the lashes being presented on that show are egregious. I just like one. This one. This one. This one. This. There's no symmetry. The blinking. It's just like almost bright white glue strip.

[Trixie Mattel]

Does she ever do at this point?

[Luscious Massacre]

At this point they're doing the Trixie Mattel liner with a lash.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. But also this show was from, like, 2000, like, 10 years ago now.

[Luscious Massacre]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So it wasn't. I mean, I think lash technology is better now.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was that she was the one who was like, is that something you want? Well, let me tell you, you never get.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're gonna get it. Yeah, it's really fierce. The other day, she told all these women. She said, all these women were like, oh, my husband hit me. My. Oh, these women. The other day, 30. They were 14 women there, and they all had been pregnant by the same guy.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, Lord.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All together, he had 38 children.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who has the time?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And she said to them, well, first of all, it's like pregnancy abuse. I'm like, this is crazy. Second of all, she said, all of you need a bob. You know what a bob is? And the girls were like. And she goes, battery operated boyfriend.

[Luscious Massacre]

Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Said y' all are too horny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Three of the women were pregnant at the same time with the guys.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I was like, this man, you know, in jail.

[Luscious Massacre]

I will say, though low key, it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Makes me think the nut is good.

[Luscious Massacre]

He must be good. He must be putting it down real good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What kind of magic dick does he have?

[Luscious Massacre]

I'm over here. Like, is he on Grindr? Can I find him on Grindr?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's sperm. You're gonna be the 39 roof. You'll be the next.

[Luscious Massacre]

I want to be the next one.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The pregnant woman.

[Luscious Massacre]

He might be able to get me pregnant finally. I've been trying for years. It never happens. It doesn't stick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When the drag is so good that you miss a period. Honey, honey.

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, then you start getting scared.

[Trixie Mattel]

If you guys go to the gynecologist for your next video.

[Luscious Massacre]

I do. You know, I told my mom I went to the LGBT center, you know, to go get tested for all the things. And I'm explaining it to my mom, and I'm like, mom, it's like me going to the gay gynecologist because she doesn't understand it. Like, in her world, she doesn't understand that, you know, we are gay men, and we have different needs, and we need a special doctor that you know is gonna take care of our body. It's like a gay gynecologist. He goes in there, you bend over, he goes in your ass and checks.

[Trixie Mattel]

He scrapes the barn.

[Luscious Massacre]

Toilet. Right? Scrapes everything off, off. And my mother, she was so lost, and I was like, the only way to explain it's the gay guy now.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Honey.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do they think of your wonderful success?

[Luscious Massacre]

Well, luckily, no one recognized Me or they knew me. But they're, you know, they're trying to be professional, and they don't want to make it weird.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I mean your mom and stuff.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, my mom's right. You're talking about the dog series.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, they rolled out a red carpet for me at the LA LGBT Center. No, I do think if you are a gay, even, like, celebrity, right? More. It's. More. It's slightly embarrassing to go get tested.

[Luscious Massacre]

Because people do just like, oh, it's very embarrassing. Yeah, yeah. You get there and you're like, they know I'm the doll.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But then I'm like, well, fine. If people go home and tell me that I'm. If people go tell their friends they saw me investing in my sexual wellness, tell everyone. I'm not ashamed. At the same time, you have no privacy.

[Luscious Massacre]

I will say, though, now they give you the little test tube and they're like, go in the restroom. Do it yourself. But I do remember, like, maybe six, seven years ago, I would go to the doctor, and my gay doctor would be like, okay, bend over. Pull your pants down. Bend over. And he would swab me fierce. That was embarrassing, Mary. I got.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was a study member in the vaccine for HPV for men years and years and years ago.

[Podcast Announcer]

Oh.

[Trixie Mattel]

And when I tell you the swabs that this motherfucker did, it was like, I killed his whole family.

[Podcast Announcer]

He would jam it in, and then.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, it was trauma.

[Luscious Massacre]

Did it ever come out dirty?

[Trixie Mattel]

He broke it off in my ass.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay, well, you know. Cause the swab. Sometimes you stick it in and as clean as you think you are, honey, when you go in there and you. 10 seconds, swirl it for 10 seconds, sometimes you'll see a little speck of swab.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I make him use the brown swab.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought it was probably dark red.

[Luscious Massacre]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Blue or something. Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Girls out there, you see. But, you know, swab comes out dirty, too. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I went to. I once I had a little something. Something going on, and I went to the. The clinic and the. The nurse or the doctor was like, oh, yeah, this is definitely that. And we have some medical students here who would. Or saying that. Is it okay if they come in?

[Luscious Massacre]

I said, spread your ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, absolutely the not. Thank you very much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

And then the medical student. Oh, my God, Kati, I love you. That's what I was afraid of. They would have got you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My proctologist. Somebody in the office told me that they were a fan, and they. And they said it after they had already seen everything. And I Actually was just like, well, now instead of me wondering if, you know, if I see like an earring, I'm like, what if they're gay?

[Trixie Mattel]

Professional.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I kind of felt better. I did feel better, sure.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I think it's unprofessional.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, oh, good. You know, and to you.

[Luscious Massacre]

So there is a line for you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I think it's like, if I'm a big fan. So that to me says that person's gonna go go home to their significant other. Be like, oh, I just scraped off some herpes off a catches cunt today or whatever.

[Luscious Massacre]

You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, like, that's. That's what I.

[Luscious Massacre]

She had a fissure and I closed it up. Yeah, they got you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, where can can for everybody? If everybody wants to join on the joy train, which is watching your content. You really are the best. You're the only person doing anything like what you do. It's just amazing.

[Trixie Mattel]

And you're by far the most beautiful guest. Everybody before you. Dogs, bricks.

[Luscious Massacre]

Dogs, everyone.

[Trixie Mattel]

Dogs and brics.

[Luscious Massacre]

Because, you know, the girls nowadays, they're tired.

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

They're lazy. They have inspiration anymore.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why do they try? No one looks. I mean, you said this earlier.

[Trixie Mattel]

Lazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No one looks different.

[Luscious Massacre]

No one is just. No, you know what it is? They don't believe in themselves. Bitch. If you believe in yourself and you accept yourself the way you are, you don't make excuses, you don't apologize, and you just. Are you really you. You radically accept yourself. You're gonna be an original.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're gonna be an original. I love that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. What was that with that whole cliche? It's like, be you. That's the only person that nobody else can do it.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah, baby. There's people out there. They got those humps in their back.

[Trixie Mattel]

Goiters, the girl.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yeah, baby. We need more bricks in the world.

[Trixie Mattel]

We need humps and goiters in drag.

[Luscious Massacre]

It's been enough. We got it, skinny people. We got it. Pretty people. We got it. We're done. We're tired. You're boring. We need scary creatures out here just being glamorous and giving us everything.

[Trixie Mattel]

The humpback buck tooth goiter, please.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And that's where I come in.

[Luscious Massacre]

The girls with the dark in between the thighs with some skin tags. Bring it out, little girl. I want to see it. That's why those tags, baby.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sweetie, put a ribbon on.

[Luscious Massacre]

Give us the palette, the skin tag palette. The collab. Yeah, let's do a collab. Skin tags and dark in between.

Different shades of brown. We can do different shades of brown, different shades of, like, red for, you know, when it's irritated. We can do all that, girl. It would be a sensation. Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

So neck braces.

[Luscious Massacre]

Cover one in the comments. If you would live for the brick palette with the skin tags and the dark in between the thighs, the dark in the neck, honey.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The palette for the girls who swell.

[Luscious Massacre]

Baby, let me tell you. The feet, the girls, the elephantitis girls. Make some noise for the elephantitis doll.

[Trixie Mattel]

Diabetic sucks.

[Luscious Massacre]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People can find.

[Luscious Massacre]

Save lives, they say. Feet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People can find you at luscious massacre everywhere. Right?

[Luscious Massacre]

Luscious massacre everywhere. My show is called Dragvestigations. It's on YouTube. And I'm running around just, you know, being a woman in the world, minding my business while I'm, you know, being very shady.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think you are, like, the best thing that's happened to drag in five years.

[Luscious Massacre]

Oh, my God.

[Trixie Mattel]

Would you please.

[Luscious Massacre]

I'm not.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not serious. Would you please do my makeup?

[Podcast Announcer]

I pay you.

[Luscious Massacre]

I would love to. We'd have so much fun. It would be. I'm telling you, though, I'm gonna put a timer. It's gonna be 30 minutes, and I'm just gonna turn you into 30. You said 45 before. It'll be 30 minutes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But that was 15 minutes ago.

[Luscious Massacre]

But let me tell you this. It will be one of those trademarks. You're gonna look so beautiful and so delicious. You're gonna want to pull some trails.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like man Scott Barnes did me.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm gonna go right to the doctor.

[Luscious Massacre]

But let me tell you something. You would have pulled trade in that mouth. Of course you would have.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You would have.

[Luscious Massacre]

The trade would have pounded you down till. Till your. Till the eyes watering. Elmer's Clue started, like, cracking up and turning into watering.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. I looked. I looked like Ann Coulter and HGH. But I felt. I felt it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was. She FaceTimed me. I took about 75, 000 screenshots.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All the pictures were me walking in different Lennons and going. But wait, wait.

[Luscious Massacre]

But can you believe that is the same man who does JLo?

[Podcast Announcer]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It just goes to show you, it helps to look like JLo. That's a really good helper.

[Luscious Massacre]

JLO does a lot of the work.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Yes.

[Luscious Massacre]

It really does.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you so much for joining us. Yeah.

[Luscious Massacre]

Thank you for having so much fun.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're the best thing.

[Luscious Massacre]

Thank you.

[Podcast Announcer]

Okay.

[Luscious Massacre]

You are, too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're the best thing. She's the best thing. I don't say bye.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pod's over. Canceled.

[Monet X Change]

All right, y', all gather round because Monet X change from sibling rivalry is here with an announcement. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Google Gemini. Now listen, the girls over at Google said Monet tell the children. So I'm telling you, us college students, get Google Gemini's pro plan free for one year. Use the best model in the world for multimodal understanding. So whether you're uploading a video to get feedback on your presentation, uploading a photo of your homework to ask for help, or transcribing notes from a lecture you missed, Gemini 3 Pro can help. And baby, if I had this in college, oh, she would have been unstoppable. Picture it. Monet X changed in the library, uploading pictures of my music theory homework like Gemini, please help a diva out. Or recording my rehearsal videos for feedback instead of crying in the practice room for three hours. This would have been life changing. Now back to the goods. Sign up to get more access to Google's Most accurate model, Gemini 3 Pro. Unlimited image uploads, Pro level image editing, higher limits in NotebookLM, Gemini in Gmail and Docs. Two terabytes of storage and more. You heard me, two terabytes. That's enough space to store every vocal warmup, drag race look, and every photo your aunt sends you of her plants. Visit Gemiini Google students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply Limu, Limu and Doug.

[Luscious Massacre]

Here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their.

[Trixie Mattel]

Car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual.

[Luscious Massacre]

Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us.

[Trixie Mattel]

Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty, Liberty, Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very underwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts.

[Monet X Change]

All right, y', all gather round because Monet X change from sibling rivalry is here with an announcement. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by Google Gemini. Now, listen, the girls over at Google said Monet tell the children. So I'm telling you, us college students, get Google Gemini's pro plan free for one year. Use the best model in the world for multimodal understanding. So whether you're uploading a video to get feedback on your presentation, uploading a photo of your homework to ask for help, or transcribing notes from a lecture you missed, Gemini 3 Pro can help. And baby, if I had this in college, oh, she would have been unstoppable. Picture it. Monet X changed in the library, uploading pictures of my music theory homework like Gemini, please help a diva out or recording my rehearsal videos for feedback instead of crying at the practice room for three hours. This would have been life changing. Now back to the goods. Sign up to get more access to Google's most accurate model, Gemini 3 Pro Unlimited image uploads, Pro level image editing, higher limits in NotebookLM, Gemini in Gmail and Docs, two terabytes of storage and more. You heard me, two terabytes. That's enough space to store every vocal warmup, drag race look, and every photo your aunt sends you of her plant. Visit Gemiini Google students to learn more and sign up. Terms apply.

[Luscious Massacre]

Be a McDonald's Iberas locate meal ja in McDonald's in McDonald's participantes.