Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya

Summary

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya Episode: Megan Stalter & the Hotness of Kindness with Trixie and Katya Release Date: November 19, 2024

Hosted by Studio71, this episode of "The Bald and the Beautiful" features an engaging conversation between Trixie Mattel, Katya Zamolodchikova, Drew Droege, and special guest Megan Salter. The hosts delve into their fabulous lives in Tinseltown, sharing humorous anecdotes, personal experiences, and insightful discussions about fame, performance, and beauty standards.

---

1. Welcome and Introduction of Megan Salter

[02:33 - 03:07]

The episode kicks off with a warm welcome to Megan Salter by Drew Droege:

Drew Droege: "And I'm gonna say, welcome to Meg. Welcome to the Bald and the Beautiful."

Trixie Mattel adds a playful note about their dedicated fanbase:

Trixie Mattel: "Isn't that professional? ... They’re just gonna scream their little gay heads off. So thank you for coming."

2. Celebrity Brunch Stories

[03:07 - 07:00]

The conversation shifts to past experiences at celebrity brunches, highlighting a memorable event with Amy Schumer and other notable figures.

Trixie reminisces about the brunch mishap:

Trixie Mattel: "We are rolling. ... It was so fucking funny because I think we had just engaged in a group conversation instead of just with you, and that seemed to really upset you."

Meg shares the awkwardness of the situation:

Meg Salter: "I didn't want it to be a big group thing."

Drew recalls the tension and the group's dynamic:

Drew Droege: "We played Consider the Source, and every single person got it right. Do you remember that, bitch?"

3. Game-Time Fun and Shared Experiences

[05:15 - 07:30]

They discuss their teamwork during the game "Consider the Source," where all participants guessed the answers correctly, leading to laughter and shared amusement.

Drew highlights their synchronized success:

Drew Droege: "It was crazy."

Meg expresses her surprise at their collective accuracy:

Meg Salter: "I can't believe that I got. I know that I'm smart, but I am surprised I got it right."

4. Performing at College Gigs and Stand-Up Shows

[07:30 - 20:00]

The hosts delve into their experiences performing at college gigs, often facing empty auditoriums but still enjoying the craft.

Meg Salter: "People don't really come to mine."

Trixie shares her challenges balancing family time with content creation:

Trixie Mattel: "I am currently banking a bunch of content and trying to pre film and pre tape and get everything ready so that when I'm with my family I can be present and it can make me very stressed."

Katya discusses her use of THC gummies to manage stress during the hectic holiday season:

Katya Zamolodchikova: "... a small low dose THC gummy can really take me out of overwork mode and put me into sleep mode and relax mode so I can watch a film and recharge for the next day."

5. Navigating Fame and Public Interactions

[20:00 - 35:00]

The conversation turns to handling public recognition and the awkwardness that comes with being in the spotlight.

Meg shares a frightening experience during a show where a man’s behavior was misinterpreted as a threat:

Meg Salter: "... he had a dog leash on me and this guy in the back of the room stood up by the door for like 40 minutes."

Drew empathizes and adds humor to the tense situation:

Drew Droege: "You have to pay deportor... I was like, oh, okay, well, It's just... you wouldn't believe the vitriol hurled at..."

6. Discussing Acting and Favorite Shows

[35:00 - 50:00]

The group discusses their favorite television shows, particularly focusing on "Hacks," sharing favorite scenes and characters.

Drew praises the show's writing and poignancy:

Drew Droege: "The hacks is actually very funny. And it's also very poignant, very well written."

Meg expresses her admiration for the show’s lead characters:

Meg Salter: "Hannah and Jean are so incredible."

Trixie shows her eagerness to watch the show:

Trixie Mattel: "I'm the last person who hasn't seen it, so I'm ready to go."

7. Beauty Standards, Drag, and Body Image

[50:00 - 65:00]

A substantial portion of the episode is dedicated to discussions about beauty standards, the intersection of drag and comedy, and personal body image.

Meg reflects on the importance of kindness over physical appearance:

Meg Salter: "It's not the important thing about you. ... Everyone's beautiful in their own way, but not everyone's. ... It is not important to be hot."

Trixie and Drew engage in a humorous yet meaningful debate about the value of looks versus personality:

Trixie Mattel: "But don't you feel like, back in the day, a little bit like drag queens? If they were comedy? It was, like, horrible."

Drew Droege: "You can’t mention it. ... Let the hot people be hot."

They emphasize the importance of inner beauty and kindness:

Meg Salter: "What's important is that you're kind. ... to take care of each other."

8. Personal Insights and Closing Messages

[65:00 - End]

As the episode wraps up, the hosts share personal insights and reinforce the episode's core message about kindness and self-acceptance.

Meg promotes her movie:

Meg Salter: "My movie Korobora is out on Amazon, and that's really exciting."

Trixie and Drew offer supportive and light-hearted remarks, ensuring a positive and heartfelt conclusion to the episode.

Trixie Mattel: "I love what you do. ... I'm gonna watch your show so I can say that I love everything you do."

Meg Salter: "It's not that important to be hot to be hot. It's important to be kind."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [03:02] Trixie Mattel: "The girls are gonna be jerking it."

• [07:16] Meg Salter: "I sell leggings. Do you want..."

• [20:03] Meg Salter: "If I get shot on stage, which I don't want to do, by the way, do you think people would think it was planned, like, as a joke?"

• [50:13] Trixie Mattel: "Those are not real people."

• [55:16] Meg Salter: "I had a teacher kick me out of a show because I was being too funny, like going for the joke."

• [60:00] Trixie Mattel: "And also, if you're offended, you're ugly."

---

Insights and Conclusions

This episode underscores the delicate balance between maintaining personal authenticity and navigating the pressures of public life. Through candid conversations, the hosts and their guest Megan Salter highlight the significance of prioritizing kindness and inner beauty over societal standards of attractiveness. They also shed light on the challenges of performing, dealing with public scrutiny, and the importance of supportive communities in the entertainment industry. The episode is a blend of humor, vulnerability, and empowering messages, making it relatable and inspiring for listeners.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Meg Salter]

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[Trixie Mattel]

Freeform.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, we don't know how to do acting.

[Trixie Mattel]

We don't do acting.

[Drew Droege]

You, on the other hand. Megan's daughter Megan, I'm assuming.

[Meg Salter]

We're recording the podcast now.

[Drew Droege]

We are rolling. And I'm gonna say, welcome to Meg. Welcome to the Bald and the Beautiful.

[Trixie Mattel]

Isn't that professional? You know what? I think people who follow us are just gonna look at the thumbnail. They're gonna look at the name, and they're just gonna scream their little gay heads off. So thank you for coming.

[Drew Droege]

They're gonna rub it. They're gonna rub themselves raw.

[Trixie Mattel]

The girls are gonna be jerking it.

[Drew Droege]

Jerking it, jerking it, jerking it.

[Trixie Mattel]

The girls must love you.

[Meg Salter]

Do you think we'll have a viral moment in this?

[Drew Droege]

I think the whole thing is gonna be virulent. The whole thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Except an old virus. We don't put any pressure on ourselves. You know, most podcasts, like, they prepare things or they, you know, like, oh.

[Drew Droege]

We'Re going to do this fun, fun thing where you say mindful or demure.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Meg Salter]

Orang.

[Drew Droege]

Or, like, I can't get into it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you hear the episodes where Katya interviewed people? And she'd be like, so you're. You. What's up with that?

[Drew Droege]

So your name's Catherine?

[Trixie Mattel]

Why?

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, it's like, I love that. I. I have caught some of that, but.

[Drew Droege]

No, seriously, though, I. I got to get this out of the way. I've seen every single fucking thing you've ever done because I'm obsessed with you. But when we were at brunch in Montreal or. Oh, she.

[Trixie Mattel]

This was so fun.

[Drew Droege]

This is the funniest thing anybody's ever said to me. Like, we're all having. There's like 10 of us. And then Meg turns to me and says, so I know you haven't. I noticed you haven't looked at me recently.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no. We're all sitting there. We're all sitting there. It was. Who was it?

[Meg Salter]

In conversation, I mean.

[Drew Droege]

No, no. Yeah, yeah, it was Jay. It was Alex Edelman, Jamie Schumer. It was another person.

[Meg Salter]

There was a couple people that seemed like they had a lot of money that I didn't know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Drew Droege]

It was. It was a stressful environment with Stars at the Ritz. It was, like, weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

And we're all talking. We're all talking, and Meg, you turn to Katya and you go, so I noticed you haven't talked to me in a little Bit. We're sitting at the table. It was so fucking funny because I think we had just engaged in a group conversation instead of just with you, and that seemed to really upset you.

[Meg Salter]

I didn't want it to be a big group thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. She wanted someone.

[Trixie Mattel]

Amy Schumer should have left.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Even though she's the one who invited us to brunch.

[Drew Droege]

But you know what, though? You know what was crazy about that? We played Consider the Source, and every single person got it right. Do you remember that, bitch?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Strangers.

[Meg Salter]

Wait, can you remind me again what that one is?

[Drew Droege]

So consider the sources.

[Trixie Mattel]

When we all take our clothes.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. We take our pants and panties off.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, yeah. I do remember that.

[Drew Droege]

We. No, it's. You know. You know what I'm talking about. It's like you say.

[Trixie Mattel]

You say, like.

[Drew Droege]

Okay, choose the number between 1 and 10. You close your eyes.

[Meg Salter]

Yes. Oh, my God. Yeah, I remember now. Okay. Okay.

[Drew Droege]

But, like, when you have to. When you're given a category by a stranger that you don't know, they say supermodels from the 80s and the number is six. Yeah. How do you, like, let that person know that everybody got it right the first time? Four.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Seven. It was crazy.

[Meg Salter]

I can't believe that I got. I know that I'm smart, but I am surprised I got it right.

[Drew Droege]

It's. It was.

[Trixie Mattel]

That was huge.

[Meg Salter]

I was kind of nervous during that breakfast because you guys remember that we went to the wrong place at first.

[Drew Droege]

We were in that cafeteria we went to. We went to a cafeteria that had closed last year.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, because Meg was our. You were into the celebrity world.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And so you were like, girls, we're going to brunch. And we got all the celebrity girls.

[Meg Salter]

How do you feel about going to brunch with Amy Schumer?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I love, obviously her, but I love Alex Edelman, too. So I was like, oh, my gosh. Love him. And I was like, she's got us hooked up.

[Meg Salter]

It felt amazing for it to do the invite. And then it all fell apart when I. When we got to the first location.

[Trixie Mattel]

We'Re going to go to a fruit truck in the Bronx. And.

[Drew Droege]

And I think we waited for about 35 minutes.

[Meg Salter]

And then I pictured. I can't picture her coming in here.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then we called her and we're like, where are you? Why aren't you here?

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And she's like, I'm at the location where the brunch is.

[Meg Salter]

I started shaking. I was really nervous.

[Drew Droege]

I'm at the nice place. You fucking Dirtbag.

[Trixie Mattel]

We were at, like, the hotel closed cafeteria.

[Drew Droege]

It was. No, it was like the lobby where they had. It was the lobby where they ordered tea. Yeah. It was like the foyer where they have the little fruit water.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Meg Salter]

It was.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I figured I'd have to sing, so I was getting ready.

[Meg Salter]

You guys felt distant from me when we went in there because I thought you knew that something was off, and so you started pulling away from me.

[Drew Droege]

But once we got to the real place, I wish I was closer to you because I was seated right next to Amy Schumer, and I was like, oh, my God, this person's, like, a billionaire super big star. And then she's like, so, what's. What's. What's your deal? I was like, well, I'm gay.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm a crossdresser. That's what's.

[Drew Droege]

I just said I'm gay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't. Yeah, don't make me explain it. I was at a wedding last weekend, and I was talking to an older gentleman who didn't know, and he was like, what kind of energy entertainment do you do? And I said, oh, drag. And I saw him look like. Explain. I was like, all right, now I have to explain it. No version of explaining drag sounds good.

[Drew Droege]

I would just say.

[Trixie Mattel]

I said, I'm a cross dresser at the wedding function.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, that sounds worse.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's. Hi, I'm a little crossy. I'm a little crossy girl.

[Drew Droege]

Like tootsie.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Well, I bend over, I push my sack all the way back, and then I put on a little maid outfit and I go, ooh, you know what?

[Meg Salter]

Don't you think if you would have showed them a picture of you in your big look? That big?

[Trixie Mattel]

The look was big.

[Meg Salter]

No, like your big wig.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, right.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. Don't you think that I would have rang a bell? You're so famous.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, then I'm. But then you know what it feels like? It feels like you're putting your wedding ring out and you're going, see that 40 grand. How about that? I don't know. It's like, I know I'm hot. And then he would have been jerking it. Jerking it.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. So stone hard as steel.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you know what else happened? I know we're supposed to ask you questions, but you know what else happened last weekend? I was in. Yeah. Wait, this was two days ago. I was coming back from a college gig. Carnegie, Malone.

[Drew Droege]

How many gigs have you done in the last three days?

[Trixie Mattel]

That's the problem with going on break. When you come back, they get you on the tricycle. So Carnegie Mellon, the little college gig. You guys have done college gigs? It's always kind of early and weird.

[Meg Salter]

People don't really come to mine.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, good.

[Drew Droege]

But you still get paid.

[Meg Salter]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Meg Salter]

I think it's fun when they don't come. Like an empty room. Auditorium.

[Drew Droege]

That Gay Straight alliance pays out.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Three people, 300. Doesn't matter.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, she's paid by the Straight Gay Alliance.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, no, she's. She's on the spectrum.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are you a queer person?

[Meg Salter]

You don't. You thought I was straight. I knew you did.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know.

[Drew Droege]

She clams. She's.

[Trixie Mattel]

I guess I assume that was wrong of me.

[Meg Salter]

Well, my. My shirt says TA on it.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, I've got the big honking dyke shirt for you.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, I'm so excited.

[Drew Droege]

But I have one for you too.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, perfect. I want a really big one with three head holes. We get all going. Mary.

[Drew Droege]

It's funny because the one they gave me, I was going to gift to her. And the one they gave you was like a 3X and I was like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Damn, they always be doing this.

[Drew Droege]

So dirty.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was coming back to the college gig and my driver. The night of the election, a driver goes to me. So can I ask, what is it that you do? I'm in full drag in the backseat.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, shit.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm a dental hygienist.

[Drew Droege]

Medical billings expert.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I'm a medical transcriptionist. I get to make my own hours and work from home.

[Drew Droege]

I sell leggings. Do you want. Wait, wait, so. So you do. I know what you do for a living and it is really like my favorite thing. So. I've watched every fucking episode of Hacks three times.

[Meg Salter]

What about you, Trixie?

[Drew Droege]

How many times?

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you know what. I watched one. I watched the first one and she went, no, I don't watch a lot of television programs.

[Meg Salter]

Did you like when I popped in and said something sassy?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. That's the only person I like. I was like, know her, you know, And I watched television for that moment.

[Meg Salter]

You don't like Gene?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, she doesn't like me. We have a long. Well, you know, I'm obsessed with her because of Watchmen.

[Meg Salter]

Do you have a feud with Jean?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I'm obsessed with her. Because of Watchmen?

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, she pulls that blue dildo out.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

I actually haven't seen Watchmen.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, wow.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I was in that. So I wasn't.

[Drew Droege]

But I mean, I've been a fan of her since Charlene. Designing Women.

[Meg Salter]

I know. I Thought she was so hot.

[Drew Droege]

She is.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's still so hot.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. She smells really good.

[Trixie Mattel]

Charlene.

[Drew Droege]

What does she smell like? Charlene, Not Charlotte.

[Meg Salter]

She smells like a beautiful perfume.

[Drew Droege]

Like a. Like what now? What? That perfume.

[Meg Salter]

Like, Like.

[Drew Droege]

Like fruity?

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. Like a really strong, but not strong.

[Drew Droege]

Too strong, but floral or fruity?

[Meg Salter]

It's like both.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's kind of umami.

[Meg Salter]

It's like Steak Diane. It smells like, like, I remember the first time I smelled her, I was like, whoa. Like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did she know you were smelling her? You just came up behind.

[Meg Salter]

She's. She likes to, like, she'll like rub your. Oh, sorry. She'll rub your arm. Or, you know, like, she'll just, like, she's always hugging and. And she just smells really good. Like a fancy, Fancy, like, woman. Woman's perfume. Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Kayla is my favorite character in Kayla and Jimmy's relationship over the two.

[Trixie Mattel]

Me too.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. No, I'm telling you that whenever my. My mom came in to visit and we watched the whole series and she was so obsessed with Kayla and Jimmy. By the last on the plane scene where it looks like he's proposing, we were like screaming. That scene was so fucking funny when, like, where Jimmy's like, I'm. I'm. I'm not a woman or something, whatever, you know, she.

[Meg Salter]

The screaming woman was really good in that scene.

[Drew Droege]

It's hard to get little extras like that who have those moments that knocked it out of the park.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just couldn't believe she was the killer. I thought that was like a weird kind of like, whoa. How did you get on this program?

[Meg Salter]

Well, first of all, I want to say that means a lot to me that you watch it. And it means a lot to me that you'd have me on the POD podcast even though you haven't seen it. But first of all, I haven't seen. I. I haven't seen every inch of Hacks. You don't always see every inch of the show you're in.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right, right.

[Meg Salter]

But you see most of it.

[Drew Droege]

Every centimeter of that.

[Trixie Mattel]

You offer us, as purveyors of your content, many ways in which to experience you.

[Drew Droege]

Instagram.

[Trixie Mattel]

Honey. Live performances. I saw this video of you recently doing an on stage meet and greet.

[Meg Salter]

Oh.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you want to explain what that is?

[Drew Droege]

Pointing.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. I feel like some people were mad. What the f. Who the f does she think she is? Fat bitch. I'm like, okay, well, it's a stand up show.

[Drew Droege]

First of all, you were seated and people were walking across.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

And you pointed at them, but they Couldn't cross.

[Trixie Mattel]

And also. They could also do no right, Which I loved. It was like, you're going too slow. You're going to.

[Meg Salter]

They actually were doing a bad job.

[Trixie Mattel]

And someone came up and you screamed like, they went up to, like, say, I love. Oh, yeah.

[Meg Salter]

They got too close. They got too close, tried to grab me. I did just a meet and greet in my standup show and I had my two friends, Kara and Maddie, who was a couple, be twins. So sometimes they'd kiss throughout the show and they're twins, but they're not in real life. And then I told them to help me do sort of a meet and greet and had the table set up. And it took a long time to set it up and then. But I thought it was worth it.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, I saw a Dynasty typewriter. Okay. With Hannah Einbinder. Her set was so deranged. She comes out, she is singing a song. The first she. She starts, like, the first bar of a song and then continues and then continues and then says it over and over. It was like. It was so funny. Me and the girl I was were like, wedding ourselves. It was so crazy. I was like, wow. If a normal person was here, I don't know what that. I don't know what they would think of this person.

[Meg Salter]

Like, it was fun, though. I like, people are there not understanding it.

[Drew Droege]

It was. And you like people. Like, if anybody went to the bathroom, you would call them out. It was so, like, aggressive, but also very playful and confrontational.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I feel like I've seen so much of your stand up on the Internet, the YouTube. So if people are fans of you from that, do they really show up and get confused by the media?

[Meg Salter]

Well, I think that some people just go to, like, show, like, feel like in LA especially, they'll just, like, show up because they want to see, like, stand up and they won't know. Or like, someone will bring their friend and the friend doesn't know. Yeah, I think I. People understand more now that I've performed a lot and it's online.

[Trixie Mattel]

But if the problem is you put David Spade on the sign and then they.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, yeah. Whoopi Goldberg. Yeah, they're in the role of Whoopi Goldberg. Tonight is Meg Salter. If I went to the Laugh Factory and saw you, I'd be like this deranged person.

[Meg Salter]

I don't really do clubs anymore. I like to be in a theater. Yeah. Because I did that for years. Where they wouldn't get it fully and be like, mad at me. I used to have this bit where I'd have fake blood in my mouth and I'd come out on stage and it was at the Laugh Factory, and I would open my mouth and be like, hi, guys. Sorry if my mouth bleeds tonight just because I'm nervous, but I'm not nervous tonight, so it probably won't happen. And everyone was dead silent. And someone went, is she okay? Like, it was like. It was at the Laugh Factory in Chicago. So it was like the whole audience was like, straight, like, out of town people. And. But I. And then there, my, like, my friend in the back was laughing so hard, he was like, crying.

[Drew Droege]

See, there you go. There could be 99 people in a row.

[Trixie Mattel]

Today's episode of Ball in the Beautiful is brought to you by Green Chef. Green Chef is the number one meal kit for clean eating. So you can feel good about good for you meals. You guys, I gotta tell you, I have been wowing people ever since I started working with Green Chef. I started cooking all the time. I cook the recipes, re cook them. I'm a great cook and I know all the basics of cooking. When I used to not be able to cook, they'd be like, well, I'd be like, how do you learn to cook? And they'd be like, well, you just have to cook to learn to cook. But that was daunting. And Green Chef, these meals, you can make them in 30 minutes or less. They are super easy, super delicious. Even the ones that are 30 minutes, I don't think I ever spend more than 25 in preparation. They introduced me to lots of new foods. Like, I'm a couscous person. I'm just like, so, like, insulated with my food experience that I've never even had that until, you know, I started using Green Chef. And I love it. It's great. There's options for every lifestyle, like a Mediterranean, plant based, gluten free. Like, for a while when I was doing the gluten free thing, that was so nice to be able to just cook and be brainless about it, you know. Plus, they have different, like, seasonal offerings and it's like definitely holiday season vibes. So, you know, you can have a good, a good, like, feel good Thanksgiving with Green Chef with all the fixings of, like, an organic turkey stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, apple crumble. My favorite recipe to this day. I can't believe this broccoli cheese soup that I made on Green Chef. I couldn't believe I made it. It was so good. Go to greenchef.com bald50 and use the code bald50 for 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next two months. That's code [e-mail] bald50 to get 50% off your first box plus twenty percent off your next two months. Green Chef the number one meal kit for eating well. Hi, it's Trixie and today's episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our friend Zat Vya. Listen, it's the holiday season and I can tell you in addition to the holidays we are currently banking a bunch of content and trying to pre film and pre tape and get everything ready so that when I'm with my family I can be present and it can make me very stressed. And I know for me a small low dose THC gummy can really take me out of overwork mode and put me into sleep mode and relax mode so I can watch a film and recharge for the next day. VIA is well renowned for their award winning THC and THC free gummies and vapes, THCA flower soothing topicals and calming drops all crafted with the highest quality hemp sourced from trusted independently owned American farms. And the best part is VAYA legally ships to nearly all US states in discrete packaging directly to your door with a worry free guarantee. No medical card required. So this holiday season gift yourself some peace of mind. If you're 21+, check out the link to VIA in our description and use the code Bald to receive 15% off. After you purchase they ask you where you heard about them and please support our show by telling them where this holiday season enhance your everyday with via. Very brazen. You get up there and you're not afraid of a response that's like, what's going on?

[Drew Droege]

I mean, brass cojones on this.

[Meg Salter]

Something really scary happened to me at a show recently at the end. So it was a Halloween show and I was dressed as Jamie Lee Curtis like, but Dom version like. Or dumb. No, no, like bdsm. Sorry, I was going to say Dom. Like dominatrix.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was dressed as dumb Jamie Lee Curtis.

[Meg Salter]

No, it's like a BDSM woman. Like I had a dog leash on me and this guy in the back of the room stood up by the door for like 40 minutes. Like he was just standing there like you wanted to kill me. And I, the whole time I was talking about it, but the venue didn't know I was kidding because I always do jokes like that. So I was like, okay, he's still standing back There. Okay. He's gonna rush the stage. He's reaching for his pocket. Hopefully he doesn't have a weapon. But the whole. The venue thought I was kidding.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, God.

[Meg Salter]

Which I understand. It's like, I. Cause I'm always like, sit down. Oh, come. Come on, Pitzer, get off the pot. Don't go to the bathroom during my set. But he wouldn't leave. Like, he was just standing in the back. Like the whole.

[Trixie Mattel]

You thought it really was.

[Meg Salter]

Maybe I thought he was going to kill me. And then my girlfriend went and got someone and he was escorted out.

[Drew Droege]

I feel like you would have. You could have de. Escalated that real quick, though. You would. It would have turned into a fierce bit. He would have.

[Meg Salter]

If he tried to kill me.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. Like you would have got engaged or something by the end.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think you would have gotten fully stabbed. When you're walking on stage with blood coming out of your mouth to start, it's a little bit crying wolf.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, I know, I know, I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Faking your own death would be really cunty.

[Meg Salter]

If I got shot on stage, which I don't want to do, by the way, do you think people would think it was planned, like, as a joke?

[Trixie Mattel]

Depends on what I'm concerned.

[Drew Droege]

Depends on the firearm I'm scared of, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

If you.

[Drew Droege]

Hard to fake.

[Trixie Mattel]

If you were in fan of the Opera and I dropped a chandelier on you, the audience would be like, yeah, because they know that that's going to happen.

[Meg Salter]

A piano dropped on me.

[Trixie Mattel]

So if you do blood out of the mouth and then, you know, you really start bleeding the mouth. One day, no one's going to say anything.

[Meg Salter]

But if a man's choking me, I bet eventually someone will be like, wait a second.

[Drew Droege]

The.

[Trixie Mattel]

The.

[Drew Droege]

The body contact is. That's. People won't. You're fucked. Because they'll think it's a bit.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or maybe they'll think it's coming.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, it's like, oh, this is a bit. Oh, it's also sexy.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is a rotten.

[Meg Salter]

Well, it was crazy that no one left because it was. People did get really scared during the show because I kept talking about it.

[Drew Droege]

What did he look like?

[Meg Salter]

A big, big white guy. Scary. Standing, not moving an inch.

[Drew Droege]

Menacing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did he have a gun? Did he work at the venue? Because, you know, sometimes they have ushers standing, you know that.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, wait, he had a credit card machine, but he's holding it really weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

He was standing in the ticket booth and he kept saying, show me your ticket.

[Meg Salter]

He was standing in the back. I said I was like, you coming or going? You coming or going? You're standing back there. You coming or going? And he was like, I'm waiting for people to come back from the bathroom so I could go sit down. I'm like, cool. That's actually good. You want to. You want to see what's. What. The show. What's going to happen in the show? Awesome. Like, you're an amazing fan. And then he just stayed there. Then he stayed there when people came back from the bathroom. And I was like, okay, you're still there. That's not scary at all. He's not scary at all. And. But people were laughing because I was making it funny, I guess. But it was scary, and I couldn't really do anything.

[Drew Droege]

Probably a lymphatic drainage thing.

[Meg Salter]

He didn't want to know. I was scared that something medical was happening. Like, I was like, oh, my God, what if he couldn't sit and he died? His legs were straight. Straight for forever.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, right, right, right. You're shaming him for having no knees.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, but no.

[Drew Droege]

Damn.

[Meg Salter]

He eventually was asked to leave and he was yelling.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God. What did he yell?

[Meg Salter]

Well, he just was like, oh, I. I don't know. I was gonna make up. I don't know. I couldn't really hear him. I think he was saying, like, oh, I'm allowed to stand. I don't know what he said, but you know what was embarrassing is that I was dressed as Jamie Lee Curtis, and then my friend Caitlin Riley was coming out as Demi Moore, and I was going to interview her about the substance. So she had to do the whole interview, like, right after that happened. And she didn't know that all of that happened, so it, like, didn't go that well. She was being so funny, and she has, like, a raspy voice to be Demi.

[Trixie Mattel]

She is amazing. She is so funny. Caitlin Riley.

[Drew Droege]

Who's Caitlin Riley?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I found her on TikTok and then we saw her in. We saw her in some Netflix program. I saw her in. She's so funny. She does, like, this WASP mom character that's so amazing. She does like that quirky lady from a film or like that mom from an indie film. She does all these characters on Netflix.

[Drew Droege]

What was the show? I forget what it was.

[Trixie Mattel]

I forget. She played a little. Little tiny person shrunk down.

[Meg Salter]

What do you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, no, no, no. She. She was. The character was like this big in a glass jar.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, what? Oh, you thought I didn't know?

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, no. She played a normal sized body person.

[Meg Salter]

Who was little okay, what was it.

[Drew Droege]

In Teeny Tiny People.

[Trixie Mattel]

Teeny People. Teeny Tiny People. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Netflix presents really, really Small, Tiny People.

[Meg Salter]

Also, I feel bad. You asked me how I got hacks.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I would love to know.

[Meg Salter]

And I think I actually did a really bad audition tape for it, and it was really filmed bad, and I was wearing a bad outfit, and it was like, my dogs, my brother's dogs were, like, barking in the background. But I met Paul in a standup show, and we hit it off, so I think that helped.

[Drew Droege]

I for sure love him.

[Meg Salter]

My tape was really bad.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love him.

[Meg Salter]

He's so funny.

[Drew Droege]

He's so hot.

[Meg Salter]

He's really.

[Trixie Mattel]

Maybe now I'm gonna watch his skin, people.

[Drew Droege]

Mary. He's funny, he's smart, and he has incredible skin.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, he does.

[Drew Droege]

Holy.

[Meg Salter]

He's really funny at improv, too.

[Drew Droege]

God, he's so sweet, too.

[Meg Salter]

You're gonna love hacks, I feel.

[Trixie Mattel]

But, you know, people have showed me that they're jealous of me because they wish they could watch for the first time again. Oh, I'm very horny to watch this.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, mama, you're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. Yeah, it's so kind.

[Trixie Mattel]

This will be the only television program I watch. This is gonna be huge.

[Meg Salter]

I actually really like it.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I. It's. It's the. I. I don't watch a lot of television. It's no disrespect to you.

[Meg Salter]

What about the first episode didn't leave you wanting more?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, to be fair, she got me to watch it.

[Drew Droege]

To be fair, she's been trying to.

[Trixie Mattel]

Get me to watch for two months.

[Drew Droege]

No, but to be fair, I don't enjoy comedies, usually because I don't find them funny. But, yeah, the hacks is actually very funny. And it's also very poignant, very well written.

[Meg Salter]

That is so. That means a lot because I love you guys so much, and I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

You'Re gonna find us. The Internet, I think back page. We found you on the Internet.

[Meg Salter]

I just found you on the Internet, and I found. I. I watched your documentary, and it made me cry, and I was really, like, felt close to you, and I. I think I just saw, like. I think, like, videos of the podcast, and then I started listening.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, was it. Was it when you had cancer? Yeah, that's usually how people find us.

[Meg Salter]

I was gonna do a joke about. Yeah. And then I thought, all of a sudden, deadline article cancer. No, no, no, I didn't have that. And then it's like, okay, Well, I just ruined your joke, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, go on sabbatical. You'll get to. You get the news coverage of your life.

[Drew Droege]

Seriously. Front page news. Woman takes a break.

[Trixie Mattel]

Woman takes a break.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. Wasn't there one about you that was like, Trixie sees memes that she missed or something?

[Drew Droege]

BBC reporting.

[Trixie Mattel]

Struggling drag star takes a step back and the video is like, me djing.

[Drew Droege]

Djing, djing in a pink. In a giant wig with pink. Like, tons of pink blush.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, my God. Well, I definitely found you guys through the podcast. I actually never watched really Drag Race until I was going to be one of the guest judges, and then I watched some of it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Meg Salter]

I'm just too. I was always too far behind of, like, the rules of the show.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Meg Salter]

So that it was hard to catch up.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. Usually they just look like a woman and do the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do that.

[Drew Droege]

That's the.

[Meg Salter]

Well, I love drag. Drag, but I just didn't ever got into the rules of the show.

[Drew Droege]

Which episode did you guess judge?

[Meg Salter]

One of the ones where were they? Think about it.

[Drew Droege]

Were they.

[Meg Salter]

There's still a lot. Oh, there was an old lady dance.

[Drew Droege]

Okay.

[Meg Salter]

The rock star.

[Drew Droege]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Old lady dance. Was it Rue or Michelle?

[Meg Salter]

It was Rue.

[Drew Droege]

I think it's. Was Gottmik there? Do you remember a white face person? No.

[Meg Salter]

Like, no. No, it wasn't. It was.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think you should clarify what the white face is.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, I mean, like, like, it was. It was Ru and then. But it was also. Michelle was there, too, so old ladies.

[Trixie Mattel]

There ever was. There was drag queens. There was cameras.

[Drew Droege]

There were. There was drag. But they're also queens. Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Wait, I also. I thought you said, was it Rue or Michelle? And I was like, well, both of them were there.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, you said old lady dancing. And I was like, which one?

[Meg Salter]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Well, guess what? I was really bad at yelling out the catchphrases, so I had to do a bunch at the end because I'm not good at. Oh, honey, those shoes. You got to throw those out and give her some slippers. So I just made up ones at the end, but I'm not. How do you do that while they're walking? Like, oh, yeah, Cuntaholic.

[Trixie Mattel]

We've never been asked to judge, so we don't know.

[Drew Droege]

No in puns on the fly.

[Meg Salter]

I'm not a pun girl, but I love that.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, girl, you're looking a little ugly. Maybe change that outfit, like, now while they're walking.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know that it's probably all puns, and you're like, I don't like it.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. Ooh, blue sky.

[Trixie Mattel]

Turtleneck.

[Meg Salter]

Also, I was terrified that they were going to say one at the same time I was trying to say one, and then I was like, oh, oh. You go like, that's somebody in your ear.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, we just interrupt each other. We don't worry about who's talking.

[Drew Droege]

No.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, but Rue was. I would have been scared to interrupt her.

[Trixie Mattel]

She'll hitcha.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, yeah. I heard her yell about something.

[Drew Droege]

What she yell about?

[Meg Salter]

Well, I don't know if I should. I'm not saying anything bad about her. Raise your voice. Okay. She said. She said, come on, people, I'm in a corset.

[Drew Droege]

Very fair salad.

[Meg Salter]

But she was. I think she wanted to wrap it up or something, or they wanted to redo the dance. And she was like, come on a minute. Corset. So it's actually not mean of her. She just was telling everyone she was uncomfortable.

[Drew Droege]

75 years old sometimes pigged up like that.

[Meg Salter]

Get her. Let's snack.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sometimes. Sometimes I walk in and we'll say, like, this outfit's really uncomfortable. I have about this much time. Yes.

[Meg Salter]

I was gonna say I'm not talking bad about her because literally, I would be so uncomfortable. I can't wear a corset for more than one second. I'll pass out.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I have a question about drag. When you did the elf hydration. Elf holy hydration. I love that moisturizer. I've been using it for, like, two years. Love her. And I saw you in the ad, and you had those hair horns on. Did that hurt? Because that's, like, clipped into your real hair.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, well, my hairstylist, Clayton Hawkins is so incredible, and he made it like a headband. So you made the horns a headband, but also all of the hair is fake. But it looks like mine because it's like. Well, I mean, it looks a little better than mine, but it's fake hair. Which did hurt because, like, the clip ins kind of hurt eventually.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

The horn's not too much because it's like a headband.

[Drew Droege]

Because that's what I did during Halloween.

[Trixie Mattel]

You wore clip in extensions? No.

[Meg Salter]

What did you dress up?

[Drew Droege]

Head ban of horns.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, she was the devil.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, you were the devil.

[Drew Droege]

Sexy devil. I showed my midriff. Scary.

[Meg Salter]

I want to see a picture of it.

[Drew Droege]

I'll show it to you later.

[Trixie Mattel]

Today's episode of all in the Beautiful is sponsored by Airbnb. Y'all, the holidays are upon us. I have to tell you guys, I had not been to Wasaukee, Wisconsin. In so many years, since Pre. Covid and I went up there last month. And of course, my whole family moved to Milwaukee. You guys know, I bought my mom a house. And so everyone lives in Milwaukee now, so I had nowhere to stay. And there's not even, like, hotels in that area. It's such a small area. So I got on Airbnb and my host, Jody. Hi, Jody. She probably doesn't listen to this or know who I am, but she made it so easy. Her cabin was beautiful. It was, like, right in the middle of my small town. So exactly where it was, the wifi, the heating, and it was like a family cabin. So it had a bunch of, like, you know, DVDs. You know, when you go on vacation, you just, like, watch, you know, movies with your family. It was perfect for staying a couple days. It had everything for cooking. It had knives, like, because it's a real family's cabin. I didn't have to bring anything in my suitcase. I packed a pan. I packed, like, a spatula because I thought it'd be cooking breakfast. And they had all of that. It was so nice, you know, it was just perfect for me. And it slept eight. But honestly, it was so affordable that I just got it anyway. So instead of a bunch of kids beds being used and stuff, it was just, like, had a full bedroom. It was, like, perfect. Perfect for me. I could have never achieved, like, that experience of, like, relaxed and everything kind of provided for me if I'd stayed in a hotel. I mean, a hotel in rural Wisconsin. So check out Airbnb.com or check out the Airbnb app. Download it. I cannot recommend it enough. Trips are always better with Airbnb. Today's episode, Bald and the Beautiful, is brought to you by Curae. If you guys know me and Katya, we do love to occasionally dabble into a fine handbag item specifically. And my problem is I wear all this body makeup, hand makeup, hairspray, cheap perfume. I mean, I'm not always the nicest to my bags. And so I previously had been, like, afraid of even taking my nice purses out in drag. But now with Keurig, I have an ultimate solution for protecting and preserving my purse collection. Ensuring that they stay beautiful forever. I mean, think about it. You take care of your shoes, your apartment, your car, your body. So why not take care of your luxury bags? Because these bags are investments, and so you can make the investment last a lifetime with Keurig. You know, I love handbags, and I want them to be perfectly nice. A lot of My bags, you guys. I buy for Trixie stuff like light pink, pastel pink bags that are constantly threatening to be dirty. And that's why I'm excited about Keray. The ultimate solution for protecting and preserving your purse collection. We maintain our shoes, our bags. So, like, why not specifically our handbags? These are investments and our hands are dirty. And we want our bags to last a lifetime. And with Keurig, they will. I mean, if you ever want to resell, Keurig keeps your bags in top condition for maximum value. There's a limited supply available, so head to mycure.com to get your leather care kit today. That's my c u I-R-E.com the best way to make your handbag last forever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This episode is sponsored by RocketRx. Good evening, fans of the bald and the beautiful. As you sit at home all alone tonight, watching a movie or scrolling on your phone, you might find yourself thinking, is this it? Is this all there is to life? There are so many things and people to do out there in this wide world of ours. And then you go back to your phone because you've had a few experiences where the mind was willing, but the flesh was not. Not only is your experience common, but it's also not the conclusion to the epic novel that is your life. So get up off the bench, tell the coach to put you back in the game, and go throw a field goal into that hoop that is your sex life. Now, you may be thinking, how can I turn things around down south? Well, let me ask you a few questions. What if I told you there was another way? What if I told you that all men experience both the hills and valleys of life and that you're not alone? What if I told you that stronger, longer lasting erections, we're just a click away? Listen, I'd like to tell you a little bit about men's health and how RocketRx can help. I personally know a lot of men who have a lot of sex. I've even been known to be one of those men from time to time. No matter who you are, how much you exercise or what you eat, there will inevitably come a time in your life when you go through a bit of a slump.

[Drew Droege]

It happens to the best of us.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it's not your fault. And no matter what you think or what others may say, you need to know that there's help out there. Help that can turn your quivering mound of love pudding into a taut pork sword of indescribable ecstasy. If you ever experience erectile dysfunction or simply want to find an easy way to have better sex, you need to check out RocketRx. RocketRx provides trusted FDA approved treatments for erectile dysfunction at a lower price than branded alternatives. They're delivered straight to your door in discreet plain packaging. And the best part, no in person appointments or pharmacy visits are needed. It's better sex made simple. Complete a 100% online quick and easy consultation now with no in person appointment needed. Get a free online prescription from a real U.S. clinical team today. Start now. It takes just two minutes. Head to the link in the description and use code bald for 40% off your first order. Again, that's code bald for 40% off your first Order. Terms and conditions apply. The offer 40% off your first order is only available once for new customers and cannot be combined with other offers. This offer is not available for prescriptions.

[Meg Salter]

People were mad at my costume.

[Trixie Mattel]

For the commercial.

[Meg Salter]

No, for Halloween. I was Ariana Grande and my girlfriend was the boyfriend. The redhead guy. The. Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Ed Sheeran.

[Trixie Mattel]

The spongebob guy.

[Meg Salter]

No. Yeah, this one. What is his name?

[Drew Droege]

Ed Sheeran.

[Meg Salter]

Ethan.

[Drew Droege]

Ethan Hawke.

[Meg Salter]

Well, Ethan Slater. And so we were a celebrity. We're a celebrity couple. But people were mad because they thought we were.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you guys see. Did you guys see Patty Harrison?

[Drew Droege]

What did she dress up as? I didn't see it. Oh, Michael Jackson.

[Trixie Mattel]

Stuff with like the contouring. Plastic surgery. Contouring.

[Meg Salter]

She actually did a really good job.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you read her? She wrote an apology.

[Drew Droege]

I hope she.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, but it's like jokes.

[Trixie Mattel]

So funny.

[Drew Droege]

Like you're hell apologizing. I hate apologizing for my.

[Trixie Mattel]

That bitch is so funny.

[Drew Droege]

She is deranged.

[Meg Salter]

Do you guys think that people should apologize online when someone's mad, or do you think it almost makes them even more mad at you?

[Drew Droege]

I think if you. The only way to apologize is to do it on parchment with calligraphy and a quilt. And if people have the patience to wait for it, then it's good. If not, don't bother. Seriously, what are you gonna apologize about hitting somebody with your car?

[Meg Salter]

Right. Well, then you should.

[Trixie Mattel]

But online only. Yeah. Never to the family.

[Drew Droege]

Never to the family.

[Trixie Mattel]

A story post.

[Meg Salter]

But sometimes people are mad at someone that apologizes. Like they were mad at Chapel for saying, like, there's problems on both sides, Right? Yeah, politically. And then they were mad that she was trying to explain. Like, no, I'm obviously not voting for Trump.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Meg Salter]

And people are still mad at her.

[Drew Droege]

Hard to get nuanced across online.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, people will get.

[Drew Droege]

Show my Tits.

[Trixie Mattel]

People will get mad at us for saying we aren't voting. People will get mad at us who we're voting for.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, they got mad.

[Meg Salter]

You.

[Drew Droege]

You wouldn't believe the vitriol hurled at this color right in the.

[Trixie Mattel]

People hate the set.

[Meg Salter]

People are mad at the set.

[Drew Droege]

They hate the set more than, I love it, mama. They hate the set more than, like, certain world wars.

[Meg Salter]

Why? I saw on the pod, you were like, sorry, our set's ugly. Well, guess what? We love it. And I thought, well, I don't know why you're saying it's ugly, because I love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because we're ready for the. You know.

[Meg Salter]

Why are they upset? I love that color.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do your fans like you? Because our fans are ready at any moment.

[Drew Droege]

They've gone to the Netflix comments and said, oh, love this red. Thank God it's not blue. They've infiltrated the other areas of our content.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are they ever like, I hate moisturizer.

[Drew Droege]

Or whatever they say.

[Meg Salter]

They were really mad at my Pantene commercial, and I had to silence the comments because they were going, oh, it's bad for your hair. Well, number one. Yeah, probably. Number two, I still used it, so I don't have a problem being in a commercial for something I actually use.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also, you look so pretty.

[Meg Salter]

Thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Your hair is kind of your. I mean, your hair's so beautiful, too. You always wear it very long like this.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, well, actually, speaking of Pantene, they chopped my hair off for the commercial, and so it took me a long time to grow it back. So they cut it, like, a lot. Like, this much, so up to my breasts.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. And it's good to have just enough to cover the nipple in case you want to go topless.

[Meg Salter]

I know, but they did. They made that much.

[Drew Droege]

They didn't make you go topless for Pantene.

[Meg Salter]

That would be so funny.

[Drew Droege]

That would be great.

[Meg Salter]

That'd be, like, blurred out or like a hair bra. Yeah, that would be a good hair commercial. But I think I'm allowed to talk about that now because I think the. It's over. The campaign. But also, I'm not saying anything bad. I still use Pantene. I love Pantene.

[Drew Droege]

I would get paid for something, selling something I didn't even know except on.

[Trixie Mattel]

This podcast, like, would never do that.

[Drew Droege]

Like, oh, you're gonna love these grenades. You know what I mean? I just.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. Would you sell, like, a hair product that would make people's hair fall out?

[Drew Droege]

Yes. I'm bald.

[Meg Salter]

There is something I said no to A couple years ago, they asked me to do a campaign for Jenny Craig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

For who?

[Drew Droege]

Jenny Craig. What does that mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

So I want to know. I want to know what the. I forgot the email is probably like, hey, girly.

[Drew Droege]

Hey, you pay plus size diva.

[Meg Salter]

Hey, big ass. You. Your tits are ass and there's you. No waste in sight. You love to sell this.

[Drew Droege]

We fucking love you, you fat bitch.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, they're kind of saying, like, you'd make a grape before photo. Oh, I know. They're kind of saying that.

[Meg Salter]

I know. And so what was sad is my manager called. It was like, hey, this one's weird. Kind of weird. I've gotten that call. I remember being like, yeah, I, you know, I said no, I actually think now I would do it as a joke.

[Drew Droege]

Sorry.

[Meg Salter]

I would. But I think then I actually felt like, what if I'm encouraging, like, bad diet culture?

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, I mean, I've. I've got. Recently there's been interest in me doing an anti smoking thing. And I'm like, well, do I have to quit smoking?

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah, I think I would think that's the.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, I think that's.

[Meg Salter]

That means they want you to stop. So there's no, we'll pay you to stop.

[Drew Droege]

It could be horny, Mama. I'll tell you the details later. It's extremely horny.

[Meg Salter]

You should do it. You should quit.

[Trixie Mattel]

What if you really like it? What if it really helps?

[Drew Droege]

How are they gonna know if I don't sneak a couple here and there?

[Trixie Mattel]

You smoking in secret?

[Drew Droege]

What, are they gonna test my blood?

[Trixie Mattel]

This is the Katherine Heigl of the drag community.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, Mama, somebody's gotta smoke. I'm gonna do it.

[Meg Salter]

Wait, that's interesting that you're getting offers for non smoking when you do.

[Trixie Mattel]

They want to use the program to quit.

[Drew Droege]

They want a success story. It's like, oh, see that, that snaggletooth orphan. And now she's a blue. You know.

[Meg Salter]

They wanted you to quit? They wanted me to lose a little bit of weight, but not that much.

[Trixie Mattel]

Notice they didn't ask you to quit. Meth, all the hard drugs.

[Drew Droege]

That's fine. We just need that nicotine out of there.

[Trixie Mattel]

So if you're.

[Meg Salter]

You're.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're losing weight for money, you're quitting smoking for money. I hope that I can perhaps grow hair or get boobs.

[Meg Salter]

You have big, big hair.

[Trixie Mattel]

Huge and curly, like a perm. Meg Ryan.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

You need to be the face of the hair club for men. But the toupee, like the systems.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, we've done that on this channel. We've done hymns on this channel.

[Drew Droege]

No, no, I'm talking like, an installed unit on your head.

[Trixie Mattel]

What do you think of the men with the units, the toupees, the wigs, the unit?

[Meg Salter]

Like, are you talking about when they glue it down? Absolutely or no?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, I think that. First of all, I think it's hot when people are bald.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Meg Salter]

And so, I don't know, like, if I was dating someone that was gluing their hair, I'd just be like, why don't you not do it?

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Drew Droege]

Why go through the trouble?

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. Because, like, also, imagine how uncomfortable glue on your head all the time, but.

[Drew Droege]

Imagine the satisfaction of having a beautiful hairstyle.

[Meg Salter]

Well, yeah, I guess. I think wigs are fun, though. So it's like, why not be bald and, like, put on a wig and not just glue it down?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Drew Droege]

I think it's the. They don't. They really want to keep it secret. They don't want to be open about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, when you. Right when you see a guy with the toupee, to me. Do you remember that scene in Austin Powers where he's like, moly, Moly, Moly. And he, like, cannot talk about the mole. When I notice the hair is fake. The. The guy. Whoever. The. The he. The he. They is talking to me. Whoever. And they're nodding and talking to me, and I'm like, what? Whatever they're saying, I can't hear. And all I can think of is.

[Meg Salter]

Grabbing it and pulling it or just.

[Drew Droege]

Like, pulling it down over their eyes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Wait, do you guys think I could go full blonde? And when it change everything for me.

[Drew Droege]

I think it would be a huge disaster.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I think you're so gorgeous.

[Meg Salter]

Well, I actually feel like. I used to think, like, oh, blonde would be everything, but I got a couple blonde highlights, and I actually look better darker.

[Drew Droege]

Mama, you're.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love your hair.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. Oh, thank you. That means a lot to me. I think darker the better for me.

[Drew Droege]

Stunning brunettes.

[Meg Salter]

That's.

[Drew Droege]

That's what we need in this world.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. We need more brunettes.

[Trixie Mattel]

You always do your own glam? The makeup?

[Meg Salter]

No, but today I did. Does it look good?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, it looks great. I feel like your. Your personal style with the makeup. Have you. When. When did you start doing the wing? When did you, like, start doing that?

[Meg Salter]

I will say, looking at old videos, people thought my makeup being bad was part of the character, and they'd be like, oh, my God, the makeup. The way, like, I'm like, the makeup's not Like, I had this on today, and it was pretty bad.

[Trixie Mattel]

You should hear the drag queens say to us about the things we wear.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. They're like, I love how you just go out wearing anything, girl. You're just doing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Girl.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're so funny.

[Meg Salter]

Are they kind of. I was gonna ask, like, I'm not good at roast jokes. Like, is that kind of what they're doing there?

[Drew Droege]

It's. It's an unintentional. It's a backhanded compliment. Yeah, heavy on the backhand.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, you come out in a gown and, like, beaded gown, you're like, I'm this thing. And somebody goes, you are hilarious. And you go, oh, okay, good.

[Meg Salter]

There was someone that did that to me and Hannah at a. I won't say who, but at a photo shoot, she kept being like, oh, my God, you two are so funny. We were, like, trying to model, and they were like, you guys don't even have to do anything, and you're cracking my ass up. And we. Literally gorgeous. Like, we. I was like, damn, I don't even know what we're doing wrong. And they. They shoot. At one point, she was like, oh, come on. Don't do that, Meg. And I was literally, like, posing. Like, you're like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm like, girl, stop. You too much.

[Meg Salter]

I'll just do a normal face for once. And I'm like, so I get that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you like doing photo shoots?

[Meg Salter]

I do, but, like, I like it when it's.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's really good because you're gonna have to do them for a long time.

[Meg Salter]

So if you hate. Do I. I do like it. I like it, but I don't want it to be, like, funny photo shoot. I just want it to be hot.

[Drew Droege]

You don't want, like, a carryover.

[Meg Salter]

I'm not trying to be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, during a photo shoot.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Like the COVID of your comedy book.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, right. Yeah, right. That's how we feel. Like, we don't ever in the picture are like, you know what face I hate? Like, in drag, it's always like, that. I can't describe as anything, but, like, a brunch drag face. Like, it's.

[Drew Droege]

It's like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, I hate that.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

You never do that, though, y'all.

[Drew Droege]

She does this.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Or sometimes with the mouth open. I struggle to find sexy every single time having.

[Meg Salter]

No, you always look sexy.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's always out there.

[Drew Droege]

It's so bad.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is my sister.

[Drew Droege]

So bad.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love her. She walks out there, like, doesn't know.

[Drew Droege]

Where the Camera is.

[Trixie Mattel]

She takes out her thick.

[Drew Droege]

I start banging it against the table during a.

[Meg Salter]

Are you talking about during a photo?

[Drew Droege]

I just don't know what I'm doing.

[Meg Salter]

Panic.

[Trixie Mattel]

She goes and go. I don't know what to do. I literally.

[Drew Droege]

I'm like, I did the drag. I have the hair on. Like, I did it now. What?

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do they do this?

[Drew Droege]

I don't know how to do it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do they do the fans for your long hair? Do you like.

[Meg Salter]

I do, like, when they do that, it makes me feel. I get, like, really into it. I really do like a photo shoot. It's fun.

[Drew Droege]

Do you ever get, like, a really gay photographer who's like, yes, bitch. You fucking bitch. You're such a bitch.

[Meg Salter]

I actually don't know if I've had that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you get the gay.

[Meg Salter]

I wouldn't mind that.

[Drew Droege]

I like that great energy.

[Meg Salter]

Oh. If it's too much, then it makes me like, wait, wait, he's kidding. He's, like, laughing at me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Do you get the gay guys yelling crazy shit at you?

[Meg Salter]

High gay.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

I think high gay bill. Lately, when people ask for a picture, I'm a little bit more distant because I think before I would talk and it, like, it would be like, I'd feel bad for whoever I was with.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sure.

[Meg Salter]

So now I feel like I'm, like, dead.

[Drew Droege]

Do you ever.

[Meg Salter]

And it's because I don't want to be rude to the person I'm with, not because I don't want to say hi. If I was alone, I would be saying hi. But I feel so awkward now because I'll be quiet and just take the picture. And I seem like a bitch, but I actually feel bad for whoever I'm with.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. Do people get really specific, like, can you do that yogurt thing? Or like, you know, can you do that? Like, ask for a bit or something?

[Meg Salter]

People ask, like, if they're. If it's an interview, then they'll be like, can you say hi, guy? Into the camera?

[Drew Droege]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sometimes they want you. They want you to start the video.

[Meg Salter]

With like, yeah, but people don't really come up to me that much.

[Drew Droege]

Really.

[Trixie Mattel]

What I really understand is when you're with someone, if. Can I explain it? But when the person who wants the picture leaves you, you feel like, sorry.

[Drew Droege]

You feel you were rude to your friends, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

I feel embarrassed.

[Drew Droege]

I feel like it's in public. I've like. Because people don't know who I am. Like, at the airport, they're like, who the fuck is that old fag? Like, why is that person famous? You know what I mean? And it just feels, like, embarrassing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you ever gotten this? Sometimes, like, on an airplane, if someone, like, usually a flight attendant, you know, will come up to the gay celebrities, whatever, and the flight attendant will say, hi, whatever, and take a picture. And then the someone's uncle who's in the seat next to you goes, all right, who are you?

[Meg Salter]

And they're kind of rude about it.

[Drew Droege]

And the beer brick guy did that to me. He's like, so what do you do?

[Trixie Mattel]

Because they recognize you?

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, because the flight attendants, like, oh, my God. It's like they were freaking out.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are you going to fuck me? Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Like, we're so happy on this flight. Oh, you know, the crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

And then it is embarrassing. I'm getting ready saying it's.

[Drew Droege]

I hate it.

[Meg Salter]

I had a. I used to do these Instagram lives during COVID where I, like, be dressed as, like, a flight attendant for an hour and just be alone and, like, losing my mind. And there was a Flight Attendant 1. And there was a couple flight attendants once that came up to me and was like, we were all watching your video. Which is embarrassing because I was pretending to be them, their job for, like, an hour. It wasn't, like, smart.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, it wasn't like, they're mad about the representation.

[Meg Salter]

I was worried about the representation.

[Drew Droege]

We don't serve hot nuts anymore, you bitch.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do the massage or Cairo. People love you doing the.

[Meg Salter]

I've never met a massager.

[Drew Droege]

Thank God.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, but I love when you massage these.

[Meg Salter]

You know, I don't meet massagers because I don't really get massages because they kind of scare me. I'm worried that they're going to crack my back and I'm going to be, like, not able to walk.

[Drew Droege]

Don't go to a chiropractor, baby.

[Meg Salter]

I never will. Not even if someone was forcing me.

[Drew Droege]

To the drag race.

[Trixie Mattel]

Queens love to. In exchange for, like, a skin treatment or a fake tooth or whatever they're doing. They will. They'll do, like, a. I love Dr. Meyer, and he made me feel so comfortable. And then it's a video of that drag queen you love getting her face ripped off. It's crazy.

[Drew Droege]

Or her ankles hobbled with a mallet.

[Trixie Mattel]

I can't tell how many of these fucking. These cross dressers, these crossies I've seen laid on some table getting their neck like.

[Meg Salter]

I hate that. Did you. Do you do that? Get the neck cracked?

[Drew Droege]

No, mama.

[Trixie Mattel]

And if I do, I'm going to. I'm going to Pay for it. Not put on the Internet.

[Drew Droege]

I just did it free of charge.

[Meg Salter]

I don't ever want anyone to crack me. I don't.

[Drew Droege]

Especially the neck, at the speed. And, like, they're going to twist your head right off.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, crack kills, right?

[Meg Salter]

Didn't you say. I mean, not to be a super fan, but didn't you say on the podcast that you said something about that you saw in the news that they were gluing teeth into people's mouths?

[Trixie Mattel]

I saw. I started watching the news during my.

[Meg Salter]

Break, and you said, chiropractors aren't real. You said that. You said that.

[Drew Droege]

No, they're real. They're just not certified.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I'm a doctor. Who she said is also fake.

[Drew Droege]

No, no, no, no. Not fake. It's just not good.

[Trixie Mattel]

So the osteopath told me chiropractors have like a third of the training of an osteopathic. Have. It's like he said, listen, I'm not a doctor, and they have like a third of my training. So what do you think?

[Drew Droege]

It's like, damn, the woman who sells leggings in Santiali could do a better. Just sort of a job, like cracking your neck.

[Trixie Mattel]

I got one of those wheel things you lay on the back of the rollers. That's like a. That's free chiropractic, you know?

[Drew Droege]

Hell, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I saw on the news, this guy in his house had a dentist chair, and he was telling these women, like, hey, it's $2,800, whatever. You fly down to Florida, I teach a few of you at a time how to install veneers.

[Drew Droege]

And they're.

[Trixie Mattel]

He's a technician.

[Meg Salter]

Do they know how to carve the teeth down, you know, with the, like, shark teeth?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, they would take, like. They would take, like a polymer stuff, whatever, and sculpt it onto the tooth and then cure it. And then, because it's. They're not dentists, it's illegal to do medical work on people. And I know you do that. Yeah. So I just wanted to make sure.

[Meg Salter]

I'm allowed to do medical work on people. If I'm pretending to be a doctor, it's on Instagram. But I'm not saying I'm a real doctor. And they are. Right, right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Those are not real people.

[Meg Salter]

How to operate on my friend.

[Trixie Mattel]

I agree.

[Drew Droege]

How are people that stupid? And also, how much. How does stupid people have that much initiative?

[Meg Salter]

But why do people even want to put veneers on people? Unless you were a dentist?

[Trixie Mattel]

Because they're like, oh, you pay this flat rate and then you make money. It's like make your own hours.

[Meg Salter]

There's easier ways, isn't there, to make money?

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. Selling leggings.

[Trixie Mattel]

Just get rich or die.

[Meg Salter]

Do you know my worst boyfriend worked for the Lularoo place. Lularoe. Sorry, that documentary of the really bad leggings that are like moldy leggings. He used to do the designs and they were so ugly.

[Drew Droege]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was he?

[Drew Droege]

What other horrible traits did he have?

[Meg Salter]

Oh, he wore fake eyeglasses so he'd stand out more in an improv group. Like to be the glasses guy.

[Drew Droege]

Love that.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, he was really, really annoying.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wish we had here, you know, improv shit. They have like a wig wall.

[Drew Droege]

Wig wall with like bad wigs.

[Trixie Mattel]

You just put them on. And now I'm this train conductor.

[Meg Salter]

You know they do that in an improv. Improv factory.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I remember comedy, sports, Milwaukee. There's like a box of wigs. You just grab the wig. Now the babysitter. Cuz sometimes wigs make people feel like.

[Meg Salter]

But don't you have. You have a bunch of wigs.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, but they're all Trixie wigs.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah, you have to have a box of random wigs that's like right. Right at the front door of your apartment.

[Trixie Mattel]

I want like homely wigs.

[Meg Salter]

You should get. You should get some and wear them around.

[Trixie Mattel]

I am bald. It is one nice thing about being bald. You can put on a helmet or a hat or a wig and then it's not a hat. Hair reveal.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Wait, say that again.

[Trixie Mattel]

When you have hair and you wear like a bike helmet, then you have a dent in your.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I. I just have a dent in my skull. Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Well, you know, I can't really wear hats. It gives me a headache. Even a hat? Like how you're wearing it for.

[Drew Droege]

Even a soft plushie.

[Meg Salter]

Yes. I don't know what I think it's more like. And I can't really wear sunglasses. Headache. It must be like a pressure point thing.

[Drew Droege]

How old are you?

[Meg Salter]

How old do you think? Do you.

[Drew Droege]

I think you look. You look extremely young.

[Meg Salter]

34.

[Drew Droege]

Wow.

[Meg Salter]

How old did you think?

[Drew Droege]

21. 20.

[Meg Salter]

No. Come on.

[Drew Droege]

You could easily pass for 22.

[Meg Salter]

Really?

[Drew Droege]

I think so. You look like a teeny little.

[Meg Salter]

Sometimes I will be like, can I still play like a 21 year old? Because I want to be able to play that. I think so, right? Absolutely.

[Drew Droege]

You're good.

[Meg Salter]

Thank you.

[Drew Droege]

You can play a junior in high school.

[Meg Salter]

Really?

[Drew Droege]

Yep.

[Meg Salter]

Okay.

[Drew Droege]

Sophomore.

[Meg Salter]

Even that makes me feel good because I don't want to give up those rules yet.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Fuck those Disney kids who are so hungry for him.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you think you would have been a good Disney, like, child actor?

[Meg Salter]

I wanted to so bad act when I was little, and I think it's really good. I didn't. I was actually really bad at improv when I first started. Like, I was, like, 22, and I would come out in the scenes and, like, kill everyone. Or, like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like Michael Scott.

[Meg Salter]

Yes. I was like, Michael Scott.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God. He always has a gun.

[Drew Droege]

You drag out your dead dog.

[Meg Salter]

I think I was always. I always felt like I was funny, but I don't think I, like, wanted to follow the rules, and I wasn't, like, experienced enough to not do it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you ever seen the Comeback?

[Meg Salter]

I love. That's my favorite show.

[Trixie Mattel]

So she does improv member. And her. There's like, I. I work in a cave. And she's like, I have.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And the instructor's like, there's some things that don't just play as funny.

[Drew Droege]

Love that.

[Meg Salter]

I always went for the joke. I didn't care how many times a teacher told me not to.

[Drew Droege]

I know. I did the first three sessions. I did improv. Like, I had to consciously not say aids.

[Meg Salter]

So you wanted to be the Michael?

[Drew Droege]

I just wanted to scream aids.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

It's not funny, though. And it just took a while for me to not to get that.

[Meg Salter]

But y'all are, like, comedians. Don't you feel. You don't feel like you're. You're models, but also, like, don't you feel like you're comedians and if you were a comedian or improviser, you'd be a comedian.

[Drew Droege]

I would never call myself a comedian.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, we met you at a comedy festival. A lot of times I do feel.

[Meg Salter]

Like we are funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

We're the special interest hire. We're sort of the.

[Drew Droege]

We get hired for our looks, and sometimes we're funny and we get to meet comedians.

[Trixie Mattel]

We like. Like, you, like, comics and Santa people, and we feel like, oh, my God, we met them. Can't believe we're here. Because we only meet other comics, like, comedy people at stuff like that.

[Meg Salter]

Really? That's how we feel about. Y'all are like the stars. You're like the headliners.

[Drew Droege]

To what?

[Meg Salter]

For that festival that I went, oh, you were like the headliners.

[Drew Droege]

But that was. I think they went bankrupt.

[Trixie Mattel]

They did.

[Meg Salter]

You're like the stars. Like, everyone's trying to go to your.

[Drew Droege]

Stop saying that. We're gonna get. So we're gonna start killing People, I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Think like we could, we've each done like, like one woman shows, like monologues and stand up and stuff. But it's not like like on a weeknight in la, we're not like going to do a set and I can't.

[Drew Droege]

Do set up punchline. I don't know how to do that.

[Meg Salter]

You're just so naturally funny.

[Drew Droege]

No, I'm just gorgeous and gorgeous and sometimes it gets funny.

[Meg Salter]

But that's the thing. You all also, you're of course gorgeous, both of you, but also you're so naturally funny. And in improv, I guess a lot of comedians do improv, but when you're learning improv, they're telling you not to go for the joke. Like, it's not about being funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, what is it about?

[Meg Salter]

It's about like creating the, the mind meld scene.

[Drew Droege]

Sounds like a Star Trek convention.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are the leaders of these groups ever funny? It's sort of like how in theater the worst dressed people are in costuming. You're like, that bitch is beating my.

[Drew Droege]

Hair in a black.

[Trixie Mattel]

What are you talking about? And like the improv instructors are like, well, been doing it 40 years. Career hasn't quite taken off yet though.

[Drew Droege]

I'm like, well, yeah, labor my shift at dungeon.

[Meg Salter]

I had a teacher kick me out of a show because I was being too funny, like going for the joke. And like, I wasn't doing a good job, but I was doing standup. And he was like, you can't keep doing standup and then taking these short form improv classes. Like, you either take mine or you have to leave the show. And then it was like, it was a Shakespeare improv show and I didn't know Shakespeare and I just wanted to perform so bad improv. It was so bad. I was really bad and I didn't know how to talk like the Shakespeare people. I would just like poison everyone in the show and like try to be funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who doth from out of town.

[Meg Salter]

He made me leave and my mom messaged him and was like, you got rid of rising star Megan Salter and me and my friends are not coming back to the theater. And he was like, is this your mom? And I was like, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

How old were you?

[Meg Salter]

I was like, 22.

[Trixie Mattel]

Work.

[Meg Salter]

He was like, you need to have your mom apologize or you can't take classes here anymore.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, is your, your family love watching on the TV and all that?

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's good.

[Drew Droege]

You have a role that's so good. Like, you're not like, you know, imagine, you know, like Margaret Qualley often is just totally butt naked.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

It's tough for a family to watch.

[Trixie Mattel]

So if somebody hadn't seen the show, like, tell them about your character. The people are listening if they don't know.

[Meg Salter]

Okay, well, what did. What's your favorite thing about Kayla?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I like that there's that part where you're. You're like at this desk and you're like, I have a phone. Gotcha.

[Meg Salter]

That does sound like something I'd say in the show.

[Drew Droege]

Yes, it does. Several times.

[Meg Salter]

I know you haven't seen it, but that does sound like it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hope. I don't want to flatter you, but my only recollection of seeing it was you.

[Meg Salter]

Well, that means a lot to me. And I'm telling the cast you said, shut up.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I mean, can I. I got asked to come to the premiere and I don't know how I got on the list. And I didn't go because I was like, I haven't seen it. You're going to like it and I'm going to feel.

[Meg Salter]

Hannah and Jean are so incredible.

[Drew Droege]

I'm literally doing, like fan fiction porn of hacks online and I can't get an invite or even a retweet.

[Trixie Mattel]

You. You listen to the pod. If you listen to the pod. You know, she talks about hacks all the time.

[Meg Salter]

I know that you. It means a lot to us that you love hacks.

[Drew Droege]

And also I have Damien, you know, what's his name? What's his name? Damien.

[Meg Salter]

Yes. Yeah, yes.

[Drew Droege]

We were together in the drag celebrity drag thing.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, my God. Yes. He looks so hot in the drag. Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

And he's so hot as a guy. And such a great actor.

[Meg Salter]

Yes. He's so funny.

[Drew Droege]

Hannah Einbinder is such a good dramatic actor too.

[Meg Salter]

She is. And that was, like, her first, like, acting job. I've known her in Stand up for a long time, but she. She's so good. Her and Jean have so much chemistry.

[Drew Droege]

It's like, can you imagine? You're what, 30 years old? 35, and you're like, having your first gig with this legend.

[Meg Salter]

I think Hannah's only like 27. I feel like when she started she was like, 25, maybe. Jesus. And she. They're so good together.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's crazy that she's aged two years in that, like, ten year period. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Wait, how old is she?

[Drew Droege]

Hannah?

[Meg Salter]

I feel like it started when she was 24, so she's probably 28. Yeah, that makes sense.

[Drew Droege]

Like jeans, like in her, like, late 60s.

[Meg Salter]

She's so powerful and, like, so funny. She was so good on snl.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, she was. She was so good. She's so good in everything.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's been in everything. She's one of those people. You're like, wow. She's in everything also.

[Meg Salter]

It's amazing.

[Drew Droege]

She was in Watchmen, Mare of East Town and Hacks at the same time.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. What were they calling it? A genes or something?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

What were they calling it?

[Drew Droege]

It should be more than that. It should be like the Gina get in.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

It's like, so fierce.

[Meg Salter]

She has such a full big career. Like, she's always been able to work. And I thought she was the most beautiful in Designing Women. Not to women, but I love the blonde one, which was her.

[Trixie Mattel]

I always feel bad mentioning how beautiful someone is on tv because I feel like I only, you know. But men or women on tv, if they're hot, we just puke it out. We're like, gorgeous.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah. I them.

[Trixie Mattel]

If it's guys, we're like, I'd them.

[Meg Salter]

We should say that, though. It's okay. Not everyone is hot.

[Drew Droege]

No. And ugly people should know their place.

[Meg Salter]

You know how, like, everyone's like, everyone's beautiful, but they're not. But that's okay. Like, it's not that important.

[Trixie Mattel]

You can't be hot.

[Drew Droege]

It's okay.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

It's like, let the hot people be hot.

[Trixie Mattel]

There's so many people around. Men who are hot. No, they're hot.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, hot, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Well, that's the new ugly hot thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

The ugly hot thing.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Well, it's like.

[Drew Droege]

But you can't. You can't mention it.

[Trixie Mattel]

You can't mention.

[Meg Salter]

Well, it's not. It's. It's like, we should be positive about people. Like, everyone has something to offer to the world, but not everyone is hot. Like, no one. Not everyone needs to be.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Like, some people are hot and funny like us.

[Drew Droege]

Right. Like the Christina Aguilera song I felt like gave a lot of people a bad, bad impression. A wrong impression. I am beautiful no matter what they say.

[Meg Salter]

It's like, well, we shouldn't call people ugly, but some people are.

[Drew Droege]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think that's a good place to end. I think that's a strong message.

[Drew Droege]

I mean, I really agree.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, great. Everyone's gonna be mad at us for saying that. Well, guess what? It's not that important to be hot. What's important is that you're kind.

[Trixie Mattel]

And also. And also, if you're offended, you're ugly.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, of course.

[Drew Droege]

You know what? You have great Socks.

[Meg Salter]

People that are hot will be going, of course.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Body positive. I'm positive that not everyone is hot.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Drew Droege]

I am positive that your body is disgusting.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah. But it's not that important.

[Drew Droege]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

I brought. I brought you this piece of soap.

[Meg Salter]

Did you. Did you really? No. You just got this.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think I gifted it to you last week.

[Drew Droege]

I brought you some gum.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, wait, this is just a random thing. I can't really have it, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

I bought that for me.

[Meg Salter]

Come on.

[Drew Droege]

You didn't. You bought it for me, didn't you?

[Trixie Mattel]

I bought a few.

[Meg Salter]

Two weeks ago, you guys were giving me the soap, so I stopped telling people that they're ugly. But I just don't want. I don't want my point to not get across. It is not important to be hot to be hot. It's important to be kind.

[Drew Droege]

Yes.

[Meg Salter]

To take care of each other. Yeah. To know the Lord. Yes. I talk about God on every podcast. It's not important to everyone to be hot. Everyone's beautiful in their own way. Of course.

[Drew Droege]

Everyone's.

[Meg Salter]

You're on my page. But you're kind of like, oh, I think everyone has.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no.

[Meg Salter]

I think y'all are hot and funny, and a lot of people are hot and funny. I don't think you have to be like. You know how people are like, oh, funny people aren't hot. That's not true. Like, most people that are funny to me are hot.

[Trixie Mattel]

I feel like that about drag. I feel like if. Even if your main thing is comedy, you still should try to look. Look good.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah, I agree.

[Drew Droege]

I agree. Just because you can tell a joke doesn't mean you need to look like the cat's ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

But don't you feel like, back in the day, a little bit like drag queens? If they were comedy? It was, like, horrible. Like, shitty body, shitty. Like, your body ain't got no shit.

[Meg Salter]

You know what? You bring up a good point. Because, like, doing your makeup and dressing well can change someone that's not that hot to hotter.

[Trixie Mattel]

Absolutely.

[Meg Salter]

Because I don't think I go from.

[Drew Droege]

Mr. Burns to Julia Roberts.

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

Well, I don't. I think you're always Julia Roberts.

[Drew Droege]

Thank you. Especially right now.

[Meg Salter]

But I don't think I've always felt hot. But I always felt beautiful. Everyone's beautiful. Not everyone's.

[Drew Droege]

Well, what's the difference between hot and beautiful?

[Meg Salter]

I think how you feel about yourself and the way you're doing your hair and makeup. I think I'm backtracking. No, no. I've been taught.

[Trixie Mattel]

No Honestly, I guess I think, like, being categorically, like, classically not hot, like, like beautiful or whatever isn't going to actually stop you from people thinking you're hot. People thinking you're hot has really nothing to do with you.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, you could be hot and not beautiful, right? Yeah, you could be someone classically beautiful. Like, by the books. There's not that many people that are like, whoa, so stunning. But a lot of people are hot because of the way they feel about themselves, carry themselves, their voice, and then they are more beautiful. And then there are people that are ugly and it doesn't matter, right?

[Drew Droege]

I mean, I have fucked so many hot, ugly people.

[Meg Salter]

Oh, my God. Of course.

[Drew Droege]

Ugly sex can be the hottest.

[Meg Salter]

I'm actually not that. Well, my girlfriend now is very traditionally gorgeous, but I'm not like, you know, like, when I was dating men, I wasn't ever attracted to, like, really built, like, traditionally beautiful men.

[Drew Droege]

Like Glenn Powell.

[Trixie Mattel]

Looks don't super. Every time I've had, like a boyfriend in my life, I will say, like, looks don't super matter to me. And they're always like, yeah, great, so.

[Drew Droege]

I'll just go back to my ogre.

[Trixie Mattel]

But they don't matter to me that much. They really don't.

[Meg Salter]

No.

[Drew Droege]

But you're. You're lying because you're. All of your boyfriends, you have found extremely hot and sexy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I guess. Yes, I guess.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I want to be attracted.

[Meg Salter]

My girlfriend now is really hot, but I think it. But she has an amazing personality. She's so funny. So it happened that way. But like, when I first started dating, I wasn't dating. Like, I was so just interested in people's personalities. I really wasn't dating, like, not to say anything mean about you when I dated.

[Trixie Mattel]

Besides the Lularu guy, was he a heterosexual person? He was straight, but he designed leggings for Lularoe.

[Meg Salter]

He did like the. The like graphics.

[Drew Droege]

A graphics for a straight, scammy, graphic legging guy.

[Meg Salter]

He was so annoying. Yeah, he was really annoying, but he wasn't to me. I wasn't like, attracted to his, like, his looks really. It was like more of the vibe. When I first started dating, he was very like, I'm gonna take you out, gorgeous. And I was like, really young, so I thought that was like, cool, I guess.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you think he would come on the pod?

[Meg Salter]

Yeah.

[Drew Droege]

Do you think he's still single?

[Trixie Mattel]

You're gonna have all your exes, right? In a consecutive row.

[Meg Salter]

I will say something I've never said is he used to date people that looked like his sister.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, well, I think that's a good place to stop.

[Drew Droege]

We're huge fans of incest here, and so are you. Thanks for coming on the pod.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love you so much.

[Drew Droege]

Do you have a middle name?

[Meg Salter]

Marie.

[Drew Droege]

Marie.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love what you do.

[Meg Salter]

A lot of people have Marie as a real name.

[Drew Droege]

Marie or Alyssa.

[Trixie Mattel]

Elizabeth or Elizabeth. Yeah. I love what you do. And I'm gonna watch your show so I can say that I love everything you do.

[Meg Salter]

It means a lot to me. I think you'll like it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm the last person who hasn't seen it, so I'm ready to go.

[Drew Droege]

You'll especially love her and Jimmy. The chemistry is electric.

[Meg Salter]

I always think it'd be funny if they hooked up on the show.

[Drew Droege]

Yes. Or if you. Like you said, if you get shot at the beginning of each episode, that'd be funny.

[Meg Salter]

If I get shot in the episode. But I don't want my character to die. I want it to be like, it's funny that she gets shot, she ends up in the hospital, she's fine.

[Trixie Mattel]

But do you remember in American Horror Story.

[Meg Salter]

Surprising. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you remember in American Horror story, Coven, Ms. Sibide has that thing where when she gets hurt, it happens to other person?

[Drew Droege]

Oh, the voodoo thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Maybe you can have that with your character. Yeah.

[Meg Salter]

We should introduce some sort of magic.

[Drew Droege]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're dead.

[Drew Droege]

Hacks need some supernatural.

[Meg Salter]

I think that'd be so fun to do in season four. Exactly.

[Drew Droege]

Thank you so much for coming along. Do you have anything to promote?

[Meg Salter]

Well, let's see. Well, my. My movie Korobora is out on Amazon, and that's really exciting.

[Drew Droege]

Well, congratulations on all your. Like, it's. You have enormous success. It's a hard city, down to earth. Wonderful.

[Trixie Mattel]

And you're so pretty. I don't know if that. If that. We just talk about people, but you're so pretty, too.

[Meg Salter]

I know people would be mad at what I said, but I'm actually trying to bring awareness to. It's not that important. Your looks are not important. It's not the important thing about you.

[Drew Droege]

No, the important thing is the blue in the background. That's what's really important.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, bye.

[Drew Droege]

Goodbye.