Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children pod with Trixie

Summary

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya – Episode Summary: "Repressed Theater Gays with Joe and Andrew from the Good Children Pod"

Release Date: December 3, 2024

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Introduction

In this lively episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, hosts Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova welcome Joe and Andrew, the dynamic duo behind the popular podcast Good Children. This episode delves into the origins of Good Children, their journey to success, personal anecdotes, and their unique perspectives on podcasting, drag, and relationships.

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Guest Introduction: Joe and Andrew from Good Children

Trixie and Katya introduce their special guests, Joe and Andrew, highlighting their long-standing friendship and the immense popularity of their podcast, Good Children. The guests express their excitement about joining The Bald and the Beautiful, emphasizing the mutual admiration between the hosts and themselves.

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Origins and Success of Good Children

Joe and Andrew share the humble beginnings of their podcast. They recount how they, despite considering themselves "the two dumbest fucks in the room," managed to convince themselves that podcasting would work. By posting engaging clips on TikTok, they gradually built a substantial audience. A pivotal moment was their viral "Kelly Clarkson bit," where they humorously remarked, "the last time that America was fully unified was Kelly Clarkson" (05:35), which significantly boosted their listenership.

Notable Quote:

Andrew ([05:35]): "We were just like, the two dumbest fucks in the room who really, really, really convinced ourselves it would work."

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Early Content: Drag and Parodying Mom Lives

The conversation shifts to the early content of Good Children, where Joe and Andrew famously parodied dragging as "Farmville moms" and later "Facebook moms." Their comedic skits, portraying two Italian mothers navigating household disputes, resonated with an audience that primarily consisted of 45-year-old women. However, as they delved deeper into drag and embraced their true identities, they faced bullying and eventually pivoted their podcast's focus.

Notable Quote:

Andrew ([10:30]): "We transitioned from Farmville moms to Facebook moms... we were like, oh, my God, me."

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Turning Points and Embracing Authenticity

Joe and Andrew discuss the transformation of their podcast from a niche parody to authentic discussions about drag, pop culture, and personal experiences. They reflect on how repression and societal expectations influenced their early content and how embracing their true selves allowed them to connect more deeply with their audience.

Notable Quote:

Jo ([10:54]): "It really goes to show you how repression really can kick ..."

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Friendship and Long-Standing Bond

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the enduring friendship between Joe and Andrew. They reminisce about growing up together, their shared interests, and how their bond has been a cornerstone of their personal and professional lives. Katya highlights how their intertwined lives have allowed them to develop a "psychic link," enabling them to finish each other's sentences and anticipate each other's thoughts seamlessly.

Notable Quote:

Katya ([57:24]): "You guys are, like, so mind melded because you were so young."

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Podcasting Process: Planning vs. Improvisation

The guests delve into their podcasting philosophy, contrasting their approach with that of The Bald and the Beautiful. While Trixie and Katya plan their episodes meticulously, Joe and Andrew prefer a more spontaneous and freestyle method. They discuss the challenges of maintaining content quality without a strict plan and how their established audience allows them more flexibility.

Notable Quote:

Andrew ([32:12]): "We do the latter, which I think is really hard. It really, like, we..."

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Social Media Strategies and Audience Engagement

Joe and Andrew attribute much of their podcast's success to strategic use of social media platforms like TikTok. By creating shareable clips and engaging with trending topics, they expanded their reach and attracted a diverse listener base. They also discuss the importance of authenticity and relatability in building a loyal audience.

Notable Quote:

Andrew ([05:31]): "We were posting clips to TikTok. Like, the TikTok is what did it."

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Live Shows and Handling Anxiety

Transitioning from podcasting to live performances posed new challenges for Joe and Andrew. They candidly discuss their struggles with anxiety, the pressures of live shows, and the strategies they employ to stay composed. Their shared experiences highlight the importance of having supportive partners and friends in high-stress environments.

Notable Quote:

Katya ([65:27]): "If you believe in your partner's talent, you're like, it's going to be okay."

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Relationships and Dating Perspectives

The conversation takes a personal turn as Joe and Andrew share their views on relationships and dating. They humorously explore their experiences with maintaining boundaries, dealing with anxiety in relationships, and their intentions to support each other through personal challenges. The dialogue underscores the complexities of modern dating and the need for clear communication.

Notable Quote:

Katya ([24:15]): "I hate indecision. I hate sort of like, I don't know, whatever."

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Celebrity Interactions and Memorable Moments

Joe and Andrew recount a memorable encounter with Julia Fox, a guest on their podcast. They describe the preparation involved in meeting her, the creation of a custom T-shirt, and the overwhelming excitement of hosting such a high-profile celebrity. This anecdote illustrates the unpredictable nature of celebrity interactions and the guests' ability to navigate them with humor and grace.

Notable Quote:

Andrew ([14:06]): "We went up to her, asked her to come on the podcast."

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Future Plans: Tours and Midwest Adventures

Looking ahead, Joe and Andrew discuss their upcoming Midwest tour, venturing into cities like Madison, Indianapolis, and Chicago. They express both excitement and nervousness about performing in regions they've seldom visited, reflecting on the cultural differences and unique challenges these locales present.

Notable Quote:

Katya ([22:05]): "You guys are going to Madison, which is beautiful. College town. Gorgeous."

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Podcasting Challenges and Social Media Management

The guests delve into the technical aspects of podcasting, including social media management, content creation, and the constant need to engage with their audience. They share insights into balancing personal lives with the demands of maintaining an online presence, emphasizing the importance of authenticity and consistent interaction.

Notable Quote:

Andrew ([28:04]): "We do our own phones... Our iPhone footage is fine."

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Conclusion

The episode wraps up with heartfelt reflections on the journey of podcasting, the strength of their friendship, and the continuous evolution of Good Children. Joe and Andrew express their gratitude for their listeners and their commitment to delivering genuine and entertaining content. Trixie and Katya conclude by acknowledging the guests' achievements and the enriching conversation they've shared.

Final Notable Quote:

Katya ([69:09]): "You guys really deserve it. Thank you so much."

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Key Takeaways

• Authenticity Drives Success: Joe and Andrew's transition from parody to authentic content resonated deeply with their audience, highlighting the power of genuine expression.

• Strong Friendships Enhance Creativity: Their long-standing bond enabled seamless collaboration and a unique dynamic that enriched their podcasting journey.

• Embracing Anxiety: Open discussions about anxiety and coping strategies provide relatability and support for listeners facing similar challenges.

• Strategic Social Media Use: Effective utilization of platforms like TikTok was pivotal in expanding their reach and establishing a loyal fanbase.

• Navigating Live Performances: Preparing for live shows requires balancing spontaneity with composure, emphasizing the importance of support systems.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. On Podcasting Beginnings:

   Andrew ([05:35]): "We were just like, the two dumbest fucks in the room who really, really, really convinced ourselves it would work."

2. On Early Podcast Content:

   Jo ([10:54]): "It really goes to show you how repression really can kick ..."

3. On Friendship and Bonding:

   Katya ([57:24]): "You guys are, like, so mind melded because you were so young."

4. On Handling Anxiety in Live Shows:

   Katya ([65:27]): "If you believe in your partner's talent, you're like, it's going to be okay."

5. On Authenticity and Audience Connection:

   Andrew ([05:31]): "We were posting clips to TikTok. Like, the TikTok is what did it."

6. On Memorable Celebrity Encounters:

   Andrew ([14:06]): "We went up to her, asked her to come on the podcast."

7. On Future Midwest Tours:

   Katya ([22:05]): "You guys are going to Madison, which is beautiful. College town. Gorgeous."

8. On Social Media Management:

   Andrew ([28:04]): "We do our own phones... Our iPhone footage is fine."

9. Closing Appreciation:

   Katya ([69:09]): "You guys really deserve it. Thank you so much."

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This episode offers a deep dive into the creative processes, personal struggles, and triumphant moments of Joe and Andrew from Good Children. Their candid conversations provide invaluable insights into podcasting, maintaining authentic relationships, and navigating the complexities of personal growth and public success.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of Angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. Roof repair done well Kitchen sink install done well Deck upgrades done well Electrical upgrade done well Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years, so we know the difference between done and done well. Hire high quality Certified [e-mail] Today's episode is brought to you by Angie. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs and projects done well. Let me tell you, there's the version of it where you try to do something at home and then there's a version of it where you have someone help you. You Watch them do it the right way and you go, thank God I didn't try to do that myself. I. I have fully done things around the home that I think look good. And then a bang in the night and I wake up to a shelf collapsing, a painting falling off the wall. Like it. I've. I've seen it all go south. I own a home and I can tell you I know how much work it can take. Whether it's everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now all you need to do is Angie that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Whatever your home project, big or small, indoor or outdoor, you can Angie that and connect with skilled professionals to get the project done. Well, right now, one of my wish lists is I want a bike for my condo in Milwaukee, and I would love to rig it up on a pulley in the ceiling because I have one of those, like, lofted ceilings, but I'm so scared to try that on my own. Angie has 20 years of home experience, and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app. Answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly. Which means you can take care of any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit angie.com that's angi.com. oh, my God. Welcome back to the Bald and the Beautiful. Hi, I'm Trixie. Katya is dead to me. She's not here right now. And I have a card here because we started doing, like, real producing.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I'm going to read obviously, you guys the good children here today, but I'm going to read like I don't know them.

[Jo]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This week on the Bald and the Beautiful. I'm bald. And we have two very beautiful special guests. They're lifelong friends and hosts of the hit podcast Good Children, where they share hilarious childhood memories, unfiltered pop culture opinions, and even have iconic guests like Julia Fox and Trixie Mattel. It's Ms. Jo and Ms. Andrew.

[Jo]

Hello. This is really a dream come true.

[Andrew]

That was incredible.

[Jo]

That was amazing.

[Andrew]

The intro was incredible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We never do this. We are doing this for you because we're cosplaying as a real show. Katya's not here. We try to really do it.

[Jo]

Yeah, I get it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Katya's not here. She has this weird phobia of two people and two people on the pod. She thinks it's too many voices, so she said, I'll stay home. And I was like, good, we don't want you here.

[Andrew]

I think it has something to do with us.

[Jo]

No, she hates our guts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think she hates.

[Jo]

We'll have to ask. We'll have to ask.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have a whole bunch of questions to ask you guys. But, like, at the top, what was the turning point? Because I feel like it went like this. Every single person I know listens to your podcast. Was there, like, a specific moment or episode or, like, how did you do it?

[Andrew]

We were just like, the two dumbest fucks in the room who really, really, really convinced ourselves it would work. And we just were posting clips to TikTok. Like, the TikTok is what did it.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And it was Todd. Yeah, exactly.

[Jo]

There was one.

[Andrew]

I would say there was Kelly Clarkson.

[Jo]

The Kelly Clarkson bit.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Yeah. That went viral. Saying, like, the last time that America was fully unified was Kelly Clarkson. And then that people wanted to listen.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Tell you about when she won.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I tell you, I remember it like it was yesterday because she sings one like this. Of course, kids, if you don't know, because I'm sure people younger than us.

[Andrew]

It makes me sick. It makes me sick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How old are. You Guys are younger, right?

[Jo]

Yeah. We were five when she won.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. I think I was in middle school or something.

[Jo]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I remember her voice cracking, singing a moment like this and being like, this is crazy.

[Andrew]

It was really beautiful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think, like, for Katniss Everdeen to win the Hunger Games, that had to happen.

[Jo]

Oh, absolutely. She saved the country.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I mean, in many ways, they actually are very similar people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was awesome. And then at the end, she's crying so hard. The other contestants sing for her. It was just so organic.

[Andrew]

And she hasn't stopped.

[Jo]

From Justin to Kelly. She hasn't stopped.

[Andrew]

Well, from Justin to Kelly was traumatic for her.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've never seen it, but I remember the gentleman's hair.

[Andrew]

Justin Guari.

[Jo]

You can't forget that hair. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

No, it was, like, spiritual, believe it or not. Was he good on Broadway? He was very, very good.

[Jo]

Okay, that's an idol.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you guys horny for Wicked?

[Andrew]

I am. I mean, you come to LA and it's, like, actually shoved down your throats in a crazy way. Like, every single street.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're like, I left New York. I left the New York area to have Broadway now thrust down my throat again.

[Andrew]

Yeah, no, but like the 75 foot Ariana Grande posters that are on Every Road is crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's pretty awesome. Britney Broski had the nerve to text me two nights ago, are you going to see you at the Wicked premiere? And I said, no, I wasn't invited.

[Andrew]

That's crazy.

[Jo]

That's why Bob the drag queen was there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know what I did would.

[Jo]

Have came in a stunning.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just feel like I wear blonde, I wear pink, you know, I love bubbles, I love witches. Plus, I just talked on the POD about going to see it on Broadway.

[Jo]

The thing is, do you have beef with Ariana?

[Andrew]

Do you think you've said something in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The past about probably my Arin and Grenade impersonation? That's probably how I got. Do you guys know about that? Actually, you know, it's not good. But maybe she's mad about that.

[Jo]

Yeah, she. Absolutely.

[Andrew]

I can't imagine. That's.

[Jo]

That's wild that you didn't get invited. You were like, yeah, we couldn't make it this time. But.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But ask anybody here. I would get invited and then complain about having to get in drag and go. So what I want is to be asked and then tell everyone around me, well, I can't go. I have to sit in a corset. Like, I can't do that. I went to the Barbie premiere in drag and even the Barbie movie, you guys. By the end of the movie, I was in the corset. Like, you can't sit in a movie theater in a corset.

[Andrew]

Well, I always think about when you almost. You told the story about the Priscilla drag when you almost went in full Priscilla drag to the Priscilla show with Priscilla next to you.

[Jo]

Oh, Priscilla.

[Andrew]

And that kills me, girl.

[Jo]

Can you imagine?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And by the way, did you see Priscilla?

[Andrew]

I did. It's very dark.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not exactly uplifting. So imagine me and I was gonna wear like her wedding dress with the veil and a big brown wig. In the wig. And imagine like the scene of Elvis abusing her. And I'm sitting next to her like, like, what the fuck?

[Jo]

Like, are you good? You're like consoling. That's horrible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, the crazy part about that story was that she came and sat right in front of me for the premiere. She was right here. Oh, her red hair. And it's just like, okay, that's crazy. And that was the first time I saw Jason. Not Jason Alordi, Jacob Elordi in Person. I didn't know he was an avatar.

[Jo]

How does he look in person?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, he's 75, I think is the height.

[Andrew]

That's the Australian way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So you guys. If not everybody has heard of you guys, which I'm assuming they have, because let me tell you, the algorithm of the Reals and the Tik Tok favors you guys. I think it's hard to avoid.

[Jo]

Needed to hear that.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Thank you so much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's hard to avoid you guys.

[Andrew]

Affirmative. For us. Thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, people try our best. People started tagging me because they were like, oh, it's like the Trixie and Katya, but, you know, not. Well, not annoying.

[Jo]

When you came on our podcast, we were like. We didn't know if you were going to show up, like, very happy or with a cease and desist because we.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You think we have a patent on friendship.

[Jo]

True.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The difference is you guys are real friends and Katya can't even show up to our pod today.

[Jo]

You're right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's the difference.

[Jo]

You're right. No, but we, like. We truly, like, watched you guys from the very beginning. And then we were delusional enough to say we're going to start a podcast and the rest is history. But we've been best friends since 4 years old, so that's what it is.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's the crazy part about following you guys is I got to know you guys as adults, talking about, like, hookups or a movie you saw or whatever. But then the guys. What you. Stuff we share on social media. Yeah, it's sick.

[Andrew]

It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys have like. Like middle school VHS footage of each other.

[Andrew]

Yeah. My dad worked in it and was very, very, very serious about archiving every single single thing I ever took a picture of or a video of, and I got a camera at a very young age. And every single, like, to the point where it's scary. Like, every single thing I've ever experienced is on camera.

[Jo]

It's by month and year in the archive. It's like, it's wild. Like 200,000 videos and pictures. It's really.

[Andrew]

It's sick.

[Jo]

We haven't even breached the surface. Surface of putting things out there. It's wild. But every single time I would go over to Joe's house, he would be like, we're filming today. Get to work, get to work. And then he would direct me and I'd be like, okay, this is amazing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And what was your, like, beginning projects, you guys would start to film together.

[Andrew]

I think it really was Farmville, Moms. We were doing drag at a young.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Age on like Facebook, right?

[Andrew]

Yeah, it was the Facebook. We transitioned from Farmville moms to Facebook moms. And it was a Facebook video. Back when Facebook, like, video was a thing. I mean, also actually before that, it was like early Facebook. But I was. I was Deborah, you were Linda.

[Jo]

Linda. Yeah.

[Andrew]

And we were just two Italian moms cleaning out, just like having a fight every single week. And we took it very seriously. And our audience was 45 year old women. We had not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We're like, oh, my God, me.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

They were immediately standing and they were doing.

[Jo]

Well, I wish we did stay with it because it would have, like, taken us somewhere. But then we just got nervous and like, we're getting bullied.

[Andrew]

The gay crept in and it was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, we talked about this on the pod. You guys were doing this. You guys were doing drag, pretending to be moms, which is gayer than anything. Pretending to be like a 40 year old wine mom is gayer than getting fucked in the ass.

[Jo]

Absolutely.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you guys were staunchly like, but love the girls, love the pussy. That's so wild.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

It really goes to show you how repression really can kick.

[Jo]

And even our parents, they were like. When we came out, they were like, shocked.

[Andrew]

That was the best part.

[Jo]

You were watching mom's wigs.

[Andrew]

You bought us the wigs. You bought us the wigs. I was like, I was using my mom's clip in hair extensions as a wig for like four years. And I was like, this is literally yours. Like, how do you possibly. How are you shocked?

[Jo]

Mom, can I wear your cardigan? She's like, absolutely. You look amazing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I think whatever repression you guys are feeling is mirrored by the level of denial that a parent can exhibit.

[Jo]

Exactly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, I wish my parents were shot. When I told my fucking mom, they all know this, my mom was like, well, kind of knew.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I was like, But I was expecting, like, you know when I would watch Degrassi and someone comes out, they have to like, run away from home, live in the park.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was beckled. I was ready to run away. I thought, I'm ready to go live in a women's shelter. Whatever I need to do. Mom was like, yeah, we all knew.

[Jo]

You're like, that easy.

[Andrew]

That's like, what the fuck scenario? In many ways it is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But she. It is. But it was also kind of like, as somebody who wasn't quite ready to be called feminine at all, I was.

[Andrew]

Like, it takes away something.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, fuck you too, bitch. You know what I mean? I wanted my mom to be like, really? You were so athletic.

[Andrew]

You wanted the drama to happen, right? You were so butch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. You did football, right?

[Jo]

I. Well, we both did football for a second. I played football. I played lacrosse, was my main thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like I call it. Did football.

[Jo]

Did football. Yeah, we did football. We did it. Yeah. No. And then I broke my wrist in 8th grade playing football. And that was the best day of my entire life.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm being serious because you were like, free.

[Jo]

I was free. I was. My parents thought I was going to be in the NFL. Can you imagine? What would I play? What would I be?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The national faggot?

[Jo]

Throw me around, please.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And so you're playing football and then your wrist just free swinging like this. Not exactly hetero.

[Jo]

No. I'm like, of course my wrist broke. My wrist stab. Yeah. It was so limp. Yeah. And I was backpedaling and I fell and I was like, fuck. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Was it fucking wild to have Julia Fox on?

[Jo]

Oh, it was, it was.

[Andrew]

How did she get to do that?

[Jo]

It was our one year anniversary of the pod and you were the second year.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That was a huge celebrity guest. And that was like. I mean, you guys are so big now. That was like the beginning of you guys.

[Andrew]

It was so terrifying. It was so scary. We literally the whole time, I mean, same thing with you. We thought you weren't gonna show up. Like, we are like, obviously all we think is like, worst case scenario. But for Julia, it was like we ran into her at a party at like some like PR event and that was like the beginning of it. And we went up to her, asked her to come on the podcast.

[Jo]

She said, well, you had a T shirt.

[Andrew]

I mean, yeah, I didn't want to get into the full story, but basically I'll make it quick. 24 hours before this party, she posted to her TikTok and said, I want a shirt that says I have a right to be ugly. I was informed by somebody that she'd be at the same party as us the next night. I had the shirt made by my sister who makes shirts. All you. All you need is somebody with a cricket to get something done. And she made the shirt for me in 24.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you saying the word cricket?

[Andrew]

Yes, Cricket.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What is that?

[Andrew]

And that's because you don't live in the suburbs. Because that's.

[Jo]

These moms, these 30 year old girls, they are making things with crickets.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All Katya's clothes are T shirts that she makes on Pixart.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Canva and then. But this is like full, like it cuts it out for you. You apply it with like an iron or a small business.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you can't wash it.

[Andrew]

Yes, basically. Or it'll peel right off.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

So Julia shirt has peeled off, I'm sure, since then. But you gave it to her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Andrew]

So the next day she was at the party. She was in, like the craziest custom. Look like she was floating through the room. I was like four drinks in. I don't think I even told you. No, the plan was because she came.

[Jo]

Out, like, again, the air left the room. There was. It was a grand entrance. Yeah, I would say. You didn't tell me this was happening.

[Andrew]

No, I said, I have something. I have a plan. They didn't say what the plan was. I needed to be like, if I told anyone, I'd be so much more nervous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. I'm so scared of celebrities and I'm so scared of famous people. And I'm very scared of famous people that I like.

[Andrew]

Yeah, well, of course. That's why we're terrified of you.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

We'll never forget when we got the phone call from the Wisconsin area. It was the scariest moment of our time.

[Jo]

Oh, no.

[Andrew]

We really almost drove off the road.

[Jo]

We still talk about it to this day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Really?

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Jo]

No, don't do it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because I just called you.

[Andrew]

Like, maybe.

[Jo]

Were you saving the number? We didn't pick up.

[Andrew]

We didn't pick up? No, we didn't pick up. And we knew it was you. We couldn't pick up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just cold call people and like, I think you guys are like, so, so young. But I know like, Gen Z and stuff is like, that's their worst nightmare.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that like their mom calls them on the phone.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Jo]

They were justified. We're like, no, like, Trixie didn't mean to, like, call. Right.

[Andrew]

It was.

[Jo]

That was like an accident. It was for sure about dial like 414 number.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm like, hey, by the way, just to segue. You guys are going to Madison, Wisconsin?

[Jo]

We are.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Holy shit.

[Jo]

We are very.

[Andrew]

And we're trying to sell some tickets.

[Jo]

So thank you. Madison, let's hear you scream.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys are going to Indianapolis? Madison, I believe. Chicago.

[Jo]

Yes, those are the three.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you do a little Midwest tour?

[Jo]

Yeah, we're doing a little tester Midwest tour.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Have you guys been in the Midwest before?

[Andrew]

No. Well, you've been to Chicago. You were a Chicago, right? No, Ohio. Ohio.

[Jo]

Oh, I've been to Ohio.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What are you going to wear?

[Andrew]

This?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think we do think we're going.

[Jo]

To do some sort of. Are we still going to do that? We want country.

[Andrew]

Set the country for it. Which I don't really know if it's actually Midwest, but we just think both.

[Jo]

Really, because we always open and end with a song. We always say we just don't shut up. Right. But we were like, what songs are we going to sing this time? Do we just go like full country and make it funny?

[Andrew]

Seems like you hate the idea.

[Jo]

Okay, so like, we could ideate. We could ideate.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's take a break.

[E]

This episode is sponsored by zocdoc. For the past several years, I have been hard at work on my debut self help book, Finding Comfort in the Chaos. In it, I teach my followers that when you find yourself living in an uncomfortable moment, even if it makes you feel confused, anxious, or mystified as to what to do next, don't panic. Find comfort in that chaos. Those moments are difficult, but they offer opportunities for personal growth, innovation, and creativity. For instance, not that long ago, while attending a party at my friend Doug's house, a guest decided to double dip their carrot in a ramekin of homemade ranch dressing. When I let the person know that it's flu season and that double dipping is a hygienic faux pas, they said that the ranch dressing is so good that it requires double dipping and then proceeded to tell me that my face is dumb. Well, instead of turning around, walking away and removing myself from the chaos, I welcomed it. I picked up the ramekin, drank all the ranch dressing in one gulp, and placed it back on the table, telling the guest, welcome to the jungle. The jungle of chaos. And then we became best friends. But while that chaos led to a lifelong friend with whom I can share ranch dressing for the rest of my days, there is one area of life where crapshoots are not allowed. And that, my friends, is healthcare. Finding the right doctor shouldn't be a total crapshoot. And that's where ZOCDOC comes in. ZOCDOC is the preeminent provider of a place where you can find and book doctors who specialize in the specific field of medicine you need, whether that be ranch dressing, allergies, or stomach issues resulting from consuming too much ranch dressing, you can even filter for doctors who take your specific insurance who are located close to your home. If you're like me and hate driving, and most importantly, you can find doctors who are highly rated by real life verified patients, you can even see their real time appointment openings. Choose a time that works for you and with just a click or two. You can instantly book a visit. Zocdoc appointments also happen super fast, sometimes within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. Occasionally you can even score same day appointments. The best part though, zocdoc is completely free to use. You can search and compare highly rated and network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. With Zocdoc, you've got more options than you know. I love Zocdoc because every year on December 24th I blackout for 24 hours and have the weirdest dreams about flying around the world in a sleigh and delivering presents. I wake up the next day with cookie crumbs on my face and zero recollection of what happened. Needless to say, I need to find a doctor. I want to see verified reviews by actual patients and I want to see them quickly and easily. Zocdoc helps me find the best doctor in my area and book them fast. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of zocdoc. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com bald to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's z o c doc.com bald zocdoc.com.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bald Today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at vaya. I think we all need to take a break from buying things for people. We don't. We don't even know what they want. We go to a crowded store and we pick out something we hope that they'll possibly enjoy even though we are just, you know, it's easy to first, second and third doubt yourself when you're trying to gift shop. And I think it's time to restore the Zen of holiday shopping and embrace the natural power of hemp. This holiday season with vaya. Recharge with Vaya this holiday season. Whether you're enjoying an evening at home, maybe you're hosting family like me, or maybe you're embracing like a festive situation. Vaya's premium THC and THC free Gummies will help you find the perfect holiday balance. You guys, my family's visiting me right now and I know how much like a little bit of festive THC can just set the vibe for everyone to relax. Vaya is well renowned for the award winning THC and THC Free gummies and Vapes, THCA flower, soothing topicals and calming drops all crafted with the highest quality hemp sourced from trusted independently owned American farms. And the best part is via legally Ships to nearly all states in the U.S. in discreet packaging directly at your door with a worry free guarantee, no medical card required. This is huge you guys. I know how difficult it is sometimes to access these things because of state, you know, it's too much via makes it easy. So if you're 21 plus, check out our link to Viya's website. Link in our description and use the code bald for 15% off. So use the code bald for 15% off. Okay. I know for me what I like about this product is you can specifically get like a body rub oil situation. And you guys know for like me for a soothing topical with my arthritis, I always would rather use something naturally derived. It's made in the usa, it is an industry leader, over half a million customers served and it has award winning service. So if you need customer support about any product or shipping or delivery, great support there. And that really matters. This holiday season, gift yourself some peace of mind. If you're 21+, check out the link to via in our description and use the code Bald to receive 15% off. After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them and please support our show and say that Trixie and Katya sent you. Okay? This holiday season, enhance your everyday with Vaya. I think honestly like what's the most. I mean Wisconsin's weird because at least the Midwest is weird because you guys are going to big cities. Big cities are not like the country. So people are probably going to be like, it's going to be like little fashion gays and shit, you know. Okay. And little like the girlies and the they thems. It's going to be like that. But what you guys should do in Wisconsin, please, you know. Well, I don't want to like spoil it for you, but you guys should get some packer jerseys or like those cheese heads.

[Jo]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Something very local in that way and they'll turn up for that.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Jo]

Okay, we'll do that.

[Andrew]

Yes. And we're familiar with some cheese heads. So it's actually perfect. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Chicago is like America's third largest city. You guys are acting like you're going to the goddamn prairie.

[Andrew]

I think you'll be okay. Yeah.

[Jo]

The fact that we haven't been to Chicago is kind of crazy.

[Andrew]

Yes. And we're going in the dead of winter, which I heard it's beautiful that time of year.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I'm really excited you might get snowbound. Kati and I got stuck in Madison because of a snowstorm last year.

[Jo]

Wow. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Good luck to you.

[Andrew]

I mean, I Would. I think that'd be a fun. A fun story for us.

[Jo]

It's gonna be a Hallmark movie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys gotta marry someone in Wisconsin. I'm telling you, everybody. All my gay girls.

[Jo]

You don't have to twist my arm.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All my gay friends who go to Wisconsin are like the men there are. Nick.

[Jo]

Right, Nick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The men are beautiful.

[Andrew]

Really.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're corn fed. They exercise and eat.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They have jobs and educations and they, like, are repressed in a hot way.

[Jo]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, where it's like, what version of sex do you want? Do you want, like the boy Scout version? We just jerk off and don't talk about it? Or getting a little drunk and mama, you're getting choked. You know what I mean? Like, right.

[Andrew]

It's kind of a little draw right up your alley.

[Jo]

It does to get choked.

[Andrew]

Well, yeah, okay, sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys are both single now.

[Andrew]

No, I am in a two year long relationship.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I knew this. I'm sorry. It's so okay.

[Andrew]

It's so okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So we're trying to marry you off.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Stories. And what's the dowry situation like if someone comes courting your daughter and they're like, hey, girl, it's tough.

[Andrew]

I'm a very. I'm a very, very strict parent when it comes to that. Because I think that Andrew has really crazy judgment and we. No, but we can't. We can't disagree here. We can't disagree.

[Jo]

You're right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you like the Toxic Boys or what?

[Jo]

Yes. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You like them to have husbands, don't you?

[Andrew]

The most evil. Evil, Evil person on the planet is usually who it is.

[Jo]

And I don't even think they're evil. And it's like, it's really something.

[Andrew]

He does is. He'll be like, it's amazing. Like, he does not let me speak. But I love it. Like, I love it. It's amazing.

[Jo]

I'm like, honestly, I met him at the bar and like, he would just, like, disappear every 15 minutes. And, like, then I would just find him kissing somebody else. And then, like, I'd be like, fine with it. Then he'd come right back to me. Yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I can't stand when you know what I can't say in a relationship. This is a deal breaker. What do you want tonight for dinner, babe? Well, what sounds good? And then you present options and they say no to everything. So then what is this about?

[Andrew]

Right?

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is this us volleying restaurant names? Is it a game? Like, we just say no to everything? Yeah. No, I Like, decisive men.

[Jo]

Of course.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I'm not saying I like to be passive in relationships, but I hate indecision. I hate sort of like, I don't know, whatever.

[Jo]

No, I'm definitely. I would say I teeter on indecisive, but I'm decisive when it comes to food.

[Andrew]

That's true. You do know what you want.

[Jo]

Yeah, I know what I want.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's the dream? Food on the date.

[Jo]

Dream food on the date. I like an attack. Well, I'm Italian, so I like an Italian restaurant.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jo]

I like twirl my little fork for you. You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jo]

And we'll see how it goes. But I feel like I'm not normally going to dinner for a date. It's normally like, let's grab a drink.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Or let's get coffee.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was like, so New York. Let's get a drink or coffee and.

[Jo]

We'Ll see where it goes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But you bitches are from Jersey, right?

[Andrew]

No, Long Island.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm sorry we talked about this last time. I'm having deja vu. These little faggots who follow, they know that I have no memory. They're gonna post us asking and talking about the same things.

[Jo]

Yeah, No, I will say, I think that one time we might have messaged it when you came on our pod, too, but you had Bob the Drag Queen on and you mentioned us, and you were like, these two. These two faggots from New Jersey. And people were tagging us, being like, new Jersey. I'm sorry. No, it's okay.

[Andrew]

But the thing is, we love New Jersey. We love New Jersey.

[Jo]

We're obsessed.

[Andrew]

Yeah. JLo. No, I'm so sorry. Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

See, what he did was worse.

[Andrew]

No, because. Okay, but here I can explain why. Because I was thinking of Anella Barbara from American Idol. She has a song called Jersey Girl. And in that song, she goes. Not to be confused with the movie starring jlo, because jlo did star in Jersey Girl. Quick recovery there for that was really good.

[Jo]

Bring it back to American Idol whenever you need.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Now with the Toxic men, are you the last to know? Is it everyone around you like, girl, Tina girl?

[Jo]

It's like you can pick them out of the group. You know what I mean? Like, you know what they're going to look like, you know how they're going to be. And, yeah, I'm trying to steer away from it. It's been a while, though, right? You know, but I'm always finding myself in a bad situation.

[Andrew]

But you're doing a good job right now.

[Jo]

I am.

[Andrew]

You really are.

[Jo]

I really am.

[Andrew]

You really, really are.

[Jo]

Thank you so much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, I think the game changer is when I started thinking, like, what I want. If this was. If. Okay, if I hear a story about someone's relationship or, like, my relationship, whatever, and I go, all right, if this was happening to my sister, what would I tell her to do? Or my mom, if a guy said this to her or the guy did this to her, what would I say?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know? Do you guys have siblings?

[Jo]

Yes, we do. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then you got it. The thing is, when your siblings are acting well in relationship, you have to keep your yard clean enough that you can get on your soapbox and tell them what to do. Because if your relationships are a wreck and you start telling them what's up, they're like, well, what about you, Mary? You know, I feel like it's hard.

[Jo]

Because we're, like, young.

[Andrew]

The younger ones, both of us, and all of our older siblings are, like, very, like, own a house, have kids, normal life, right? And we're like. We're podcasters. They follow the structure so we look like the crazy ones. 10 times out of 10, our parents.

[Jo]

Are like, what do you do? I'm like, I'm a podcaster. Like, what's that like? Cool.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You started recording at home by yourselves, like, using your own cameras and own sound equipment.

[Andrew]

Yeah, our own phones, and we still do that to this day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Phones, iPhones.

[Jo]

That's it.

[Andrew]

An iPhone can do anything.

[Jo]

It really can.

[Andrew]

It really can.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It can. But have you guys seen that Google Pixel 9?

[Andrew]

And I do love the Google Pixel as well.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That camera.

[Jo]

You get a good Google deal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, that camera's amazing.

[Andrew]

It's crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I did a commercial for them with Monet X Change, and they were showing me how to use it. And by the way, the phone didn't come out yet. You would have thought we were in the Secret Service. They were like, you cannot take a picture of it. You can't leak what it is. Oh, my God.

[Andrew]

Because everyone's constantly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The camera on that shit is amazing. Okay, so even if you got it just to film with.

[Andrew]

I was thinking about that at one point, because it really. I used it over the summer for a job, and I was like, this is the best camera I've ever seen.

[Jo]

Okay, so we're getting the Google, but the.

[Andrew]

Our iPhone footage is fine. Like, it's totally. It's very hd. It looks good. We like our. We're at the place where we're like, as long as the video Is recorded and the audio sounds okay. We're happy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I know. Sometimes we worry so much about what the pod looks like, and sometimes I'm like, I'm sorry. Whatever happened to a podcast? Isn't that crazy? Ear holes.

[Andrew]

You dipping on clothes now?

[Jo]

Yep. And you can't repeat the outfits. I get stress. Yeah. Your face needs to be moving all over the place. People want to stay engaged, you know, they want who's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I guess people want. But it's like a podcast. But now it's just. Let's just call it what it is. Low budget. IPhone. Camera. Talk show.

[Andrew]

Exactly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know?

[Andrew]

Yep.

[Jo]

Watching the YouTube.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Watching on the YouTube.

[Andrew]

Horrible. Horrible.

[Jo]

Yeah. No, but we love it.

[Andrew]

I love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you get. Are you too famous for the apps now? For the gay apps?

[Jo]

On the gay apps. I mean, like, I get noticed here and there. That. That freaks me out, though. I'm like. Especially when it's like, oh, you're gonna get killed. No, you always. Joe has always said that. That's scary. Yeah, that's scary. But I'm like, foresight, you know, you're on an app, you're like, I'm just trying to get it right now. Sometimes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, sometimes it's like you're more worried about, like, oh, God, is. Are they going to be. Are they on prep? And I'm like, you're going to a stranger's home.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The killer is waiting. The killer doesn't need to wait for an sti. The killer has the knife.

[Jo]

No, I gotta delete those. I go. I ebb and flow with deleting. But the like, Hinge and Tinder. I'm trying to get away from them. I'm trying to meet somebody organically in Wisconsin.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

In Wisconsin. I swear to God. You guys are going to Madison, which is beautiful. College town. Gorgeous. Do you like younger men?

[Jo]

Well, I wouldn't say college.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Would you say college?

[Andrew]

I hope not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What about grad degree?

[Jo]

Grad degree I can do. Yeah. I would love somebody with a grad degree.

[Andrew]

Higher ad hire.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The move.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Yeah, we could do that. I could do that. I would. I'm actually willing to settle in Wisconsin for sure.

[Andrew]

Settle down.

[Jo]

Settle down.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Jo]

Oh, no.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Not. Not settle for people in the state of Wisconsin.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's what I heard.

[Jo]

Oh, my God. Like, I'm not trying to be shady about Wisconsin. I'm obsessed with Wisconsin. It's amazing. Like, I love cheese. But I do believe that I would settle down with somebody in Wisconsin. We could just do it virtually, right?

[Andrew]

The podcast.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

That's fine.

[Jo]

Okay, cool.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know, I think it's funny, when we were on the pod afterward, I was like, do you guys want to go swimming? And you guys said, yeah. And then we all went swimming.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That really happened.

[Andrew]

That really did.

[Jo]

We said, yeah. And I. I turned to Joe and I was like, you. Are you sick about this?

[Andrew]

Yeah. In front of you. That was a crazy moment to me.

[Jo]

Because we have anxiety sometimes. We're like. We want to infringe on spaces.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But you know that I'm the queen of, like, come over and I'll tell you when to leave the moment. I'm sick of it.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Jo]

And that was the perfect amount of time. Like, oh, yeah. We were swimming in that pool for, like, an hour, and then we were out and that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Get out. It was hot.

[Andrew]

It was amazing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When was that?

[Jo]

That was like, May. April.

[Andrew]

May. May.

[Jo]

You said that your house has just redone.

[Andrew]

Yeah, May is when the episode came out. So it was April. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, sometimes we keep the pool at, like, 90, and that's what it was.

[Andrew]

I think sometimes we keep it at.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

100 and we'll swim. We'll swim in it for a weekend. Like a hot. Like, it's a hot tub. Giant hot tub.

[Jo]

It was. It was really a glorious day. And I think we were like. Our spray tab was coming off almost.

[Andrew]

I'm sure.

[Jo]

Yeah, I'm sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. On the car, over.

[Jo]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because we're dripping.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It hit midnight, and.

[Jo]

Oh, gorgeous house. David was watching the Marilyn Monroe docs or whatever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. Hey, we're here. We're swimming now. You know what? I always thought if I had a pool, I would use it all the time. Do you guys honestly think that if you had a pool, you would use it?

[Andrew]

Yes, I understand what you're saying. I think it's. I grew up with the pool, and we never really used it like it was. And my. It was like, the biggest point of contention in my family is my dad being like, no one goes in this pool. It is like, draining money. We cannot have this anymore.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Take the video camera, go in the pool.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And that. I did. That I did. We got some. Yeah. Mermaids.

[Jo]

Would you prefer a hot tub over the pool?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. I use the hot tub almost every day.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

After being in drag all day, when your little piggies are all smashed from the shoes and, like, you have body makeup residue, like, you scrub it off, but you still feel sticky. Cook myself like a fucking lobster. Bright red. I want that water 105 yeah. I want to be afraid for my life.

[Jo]

And then you want to be in there for five minutes and you have to sit on the ledge because you're sweating so much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, and I'll be in there alone. Yeah. I'm like, falling asleep alone in the hot tub.

[Andrew]

Perfect out.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you guys. When you do your pod, do you go into it with a plan or do you do what Katie and I do, which is walk in and scream?

[Andrew]

We do the latter, which I think is really hard. It really, like, we. Because only. Because, like. But you guys, like, have a really established audience and, like, like a really established career, so people just want to hear you speak about anything for us, like, we still need to hook people with something.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And then we show up and we sit down and we're like, what the fuck are we going to talk about?

[Jo]

What's the theme today? But I think that we're getting to a place, though, that it doesn't matter as much.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but I still am. Like, a YouTube. A casual YouTube scroller is not going to click on a thumbnail. That's like us talking about pumpkins for an hour.

[Jo]

Yeah. It'll be like, you clickbait them and it's like, gay. First time having gay sex is actually.

[Andrew]

What we're always doing. Because that's the best. Best clickbait. Yeah, it is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or like, movies that just can. Like, have you guys talked about Wicked right after you saw it? Probably get clipped.

[Jo]

True.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, and sometimes the fans of the shows clip better clips than I have. And sometimes I'm like, my little friend over here has clipped a clip of me and Katie that has millions of, like, it's crazy. Meanwhile, my, like, shitty selfie on TikTok, they're like, what are you doing?

[Jo]

Yeah, are you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, do you run your own socials?

[Jo]

Yeah, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Tina.

[Jo]

We run it all. Wow. I know.

[Andrew]

Do you. Do you use your socials anymore?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I post that. Yeah. Yeah, I post. I think you can tell because it's like a 2am shit post. It's like, misspelled.

[Andrew]

I understand.

[Jo]

Yeah, but that's what people want. I feel like you want to know that the person is also doing the socials.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I can't.

[Jo]

I'm, like, in the dms. I'm, like, messaging people back. I love it. Yeah, it's fun.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I hate when you follow a celebrity and they're. They're like, Twitter presence is like a gif from what we really did. And it's like walking into Monday, like, and you're like, girl, this Isn't you?

[Andrew]

That was. I did that for an unnamed celebrity for a year and a half. I was, I was them on social media, actually. Several. Three at one point. At the same time.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And it really, it was soul sucking. It was a soul sucking work the whole time. I mean, they were all like, nice and everyone was fine. Like, not, not like the actual, like management, but the celebrities themselves are very, very nice. But it was really, really, really weird work because sometimes I'm writing a beautiful essay about body empowerment and then I'm like, okay, this goes off to you. And then I sit in the background and watch people love what you're saying. And it's fully. I wrote this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my.

[Andrew]

It was like ghostwriting, but in full. TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, even interviews.

[Jo]

I feel like. Right. Like they would go on interviews and you would tell them sometimes.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Which is crazy because my job was video editor.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you guys get a lot of thirst? The gay guys want to fuck you guys.

[Andrew]

I could use more of it. I love the attention, I have to say. We're always begging for it. We're like really? We're really kind of desperate in some ways.

[Jo]

In like a weird way.

[Andrew]

In a weird way it gets scary. Hey guys we'll take off all of our clothes on Patreon if you pay us $7, like, we will really do it.

[Jo]

And then like all of a sudden we're like, oh, so we do have a gay following. It's like Michael James Patrick. Everyone starts following the Patreon cause they think we're naked. But not on a day to day basis. No, not a lot of people are trying to fuck us.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you guys really take the clothes off on the Patreon?

[Andrew]

We've done it once or twice, like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A shirtless episode or something. We've done.

[Andrew]

No, we've done like full. No, we've done like, we've covered. We've used like a modesty cloth occasionally. But there was a time this summer that we did full because we went to a nude beach together. So we like crossed a boundary where like, okay, we can like be around each other naked. And we did a full episode completely, completely naked. And I am the editor of it. And I remember Andrew was on a flight here actually, and I was trying to edit this and I was like, I cannot in good faith. We were never going to post our actual dicks. No, it's going to be censored. But it was just the practice of doing it that I was like, we've crossed a line here.

[Jo]

Are we pathetic?

[Andrew]

I was like, what are we doing? No shame to anyone who's doing sex work. But I was like, we are like, we're so afraid. It was like this fine line between like actually committing and then just being like soft and naked on camera talking about our lives for an hour.

[Jo]

And like, you rap and like, you just like go on with your day.

[Andrew]

Put back on your pants, like, pretend.

[Jo]

Like nothing just happened. Like, like, okay.

[Andrew]

That's why people should shoot in studios with crews.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Because we just get bored.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Keep the clothes on. Yeah. Apparently if you guys are left your own devices, you get out the iPhone.

[Andrew]

Show the whole imagine. Yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, if you're going to start doing sex work, I think you should ask for more money than, you know, YouTube views. Yeah, yeah. Also, you know what else it might hurt? Sponsorships.

[Andrew]

I know. Well, that's why I'm glad that. I'm glad we didn't release it. But by the way, don't tell Katya.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That she will get naked in here. Right? Like, please don't. Her and her bright gray bush just like, no, please.

[Jo]

Next week.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fucking. No, please.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but that was exactly how we sat too. The whole episode. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you guys. You guys are involved in the drag? You like the drag girls.

[Jo]

Yeah, yeah, of course. You like, Joe's dating a drag queen.

[Andrew]

Yes. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I wonder if you guys could ever go on Drag Race and be judges. That would be wonderful.

[Andrew]

That would be a dream.

[Jo]

That's a dream come true.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Then you would have nervous breakdown.

[Andrew]

Do you think we have?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Every time I see RuPaul's breakdown.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jo]

See us. When I was. When I was pulling into the parking lot, I was having a nervous breakdown. Joe was like. Joe was like, you need to turn around.

[Andrew]

I just kept going as far away as possible.

[Jo]

I just kept driving past you.

[Andrew]

What's happening?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, they came, they pulled in, and it was me standing next to the Bob the Drag Queen tour bus with Bruce Volanch. Yeah.

[Jo]

Overwhelming experience. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God. And they parked at Trixie Cosmetics, because as we're filming this, it's Veterans Day and, you know, there's no one in the office today, so you guys lucked out on the parking.

[Andrew]

It was amazing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think it was meant to be.

[Jo]

It was really 100%.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I tell you, as many times I've worked with RuPaul, every single time, it is a pulse pounding horror thrill ride because I love her and fear her so much. And if you guys, I'm telling you, even out of drag, when she walks in, it is like a voodoo doll somewhere has stabbed you in the neck. It's so chilling and thrilling.

[Jo]

Well, you were saying you can't meet your favorite celebrities or someone that you think is so famous. Like, I actually do think I would shut down if I was in the same room as RuPaul.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I'm sure when you guys said Ms. Fox, it was like that. Who was in that echelon for you of faves where you would just die? It's like my ancestors.

[Andrew]

So it's so random for this podcast, but for me, it's Lorde.

[Jo]

Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

New Zealand singer songwriter. Lord is someone who, like, I have such a scary, parasocial relationship with. Like, she posted her birthday party pictures yesterday, and, like, my stomach dropped because I was like, she didn't invite me. And I was like, oh, I have no idea who this person is. Like, this is a complete stranger. But I literally, like, felt that. So I would only be afraid of how I would behave because I don't want to be parasocial. I don't want to be weird, and I just want to, like, be normal for sure. So it'd be tough.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's a group.

[Andrew]

Makes sense to you, though, because then.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You have to pretend you don't know everything about Lord, otherwise you're a freak.

[Andrew]

Everything about you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But then you're pretending to not know. Because I've had guys I've hooked up with pretend they don't know. And that's much worse than just saying it.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Jo]

Is it that would you want them to say, I guess so when they.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Say, like, so what do you do for a living? What are you talking about? Yeah, what about you, who would chill you to the core?

[Jo]

I think it's just because we talked about her lore for so long is Kiki Palmer.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Jo]

I'm obsessed with Kiki Palmer, like, in a crazy way. So I feel like the conversation would be amazing.

[Andrew]

I think she'd break the ice pretty quick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I did a commercial.

[Jo]

Thing in real life.

[Andrew]

This is episode really should be sponsored by Google.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She was there, right? Am I dreaming this?

[Jo]

You were dreaming it. I often dream about her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, she was hosting because I asked her about Scream. Because I remember my first time I saw her was in Scream, the TV series. And she was so beautiful. And she was asking me and Monet all about our hair and makeup because she's like a little drag queen, you know, it's funny because in drag, when I'm, like, with another drag queen like Monet, I think like, oh, we're just two five. Two girls. And then when a real girl enters the room, it's like that scene in Alice in Wonderland where you're, like, growing and I'm like, oh, right, we're huge. Would you guys ever do the drags once again? I guess.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I mean, I've done it, like, twice, just for Halloween. Like, my boyfriend's put me in full drag this year. I was Jessica Lange in American Horror Asylum during the name with the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Andrew]

When she has, like, the Blair little sixties. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I really, like, felt my oats this year. I really enjoyed it. The year before, I was Trisha Paytas and I, like, left, immediately went home and showered. I was like, I hate everything about this. This year I was like, oh, I could do, like, character drag. Like, I would enjoy, like, this shit. I cannot. I couldn't, like, serve. I simply cannot serve.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sure.

[Andrew]

But I don't know if I would actually commit to it in a full way. I mean, we basically. We, like. We basically do the cheapest, worse version of it.

[Jo]

I don't know how to beat my face. Like, that's. That's the one thing I need to, like, learn how to do makeup because I do think I would. I would do Drag.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't wear any boy makeup, either of you? No, this is your real faces.

[Andrew]

I'll grab some eyeshadow on my lids occasionally for fun.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But wow, you guys, their skin in real life, you guys are like little baby, like glowing.

[Jo]

Thank you.

[Andrew]

It's because you're 16.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's cuz you don't do drag.

[Andrew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Skin loves no drag. This summer when I was done my sabbatical, I was like, wow, cross dressing is a wreck on your body. It really is.

[Jo]

How is that sabbatical?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I cannot recommend it enough.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What podcast do you guys listen to as podcasters? None.

[Andrew]

None.

[Jo]

But like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let'S take a break. You really listen to None?

[Jo]

Yeah, kind of.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love that.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I, I will tune into. Depending on the guest, I'll tune into like for a while I was listening to Sarah Silverman's pod because she just talks by herself, which is kind of interesting. For a while I was listening to Matt and Bowen. For a while I kind of like jump around and I love attitudes with Brian and Aaron. But then you guys, but you guys, it's like mostly when the algorithm rhythm reminds me to. Oh, I love them. I'm going to turn them on.

[Jo]

Oh my God, that means so much. I feel like comedy pods sometimes. I don't listen to as much. I feel like I want to get away from what we do sometimes. But I do occasionally listen to a. Just Trish or sloppy seconds. Sloppy seconds.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sloppy Second love.

[Jo]

Meatball love. Meatball love Obsessed. But yeah, we really just. Even when we started the podcast, we'd never listened to a podcast before we started. That was real delusion.

[Andrew]

I think that's perfect also. Cause we had nothing to reference.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The first few years of doing drag, I was in Rocky Horror and I didn't know any other drag queens.

[Andrew]

That's crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But you know, that's why you figure out how to do everything the wrong way and then you have to fix it yourself, you know?

[Andrew]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it's like the hard version of everything. Cause you're too proud to take direction from anyone. I don't recommend that approach to anything.

[Andrew]

But I do love it. It's my favorite approach.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Unfortunately it does the things, I think sometimes the things people don't know, podcasters have to know. I mean, luckily you guys using iPhones, which is so nice.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Use your real iPhones or do you have separate phones?

[Andrew]

No real phones. And it's a point of contention once a week because Andrew does not have.

[Jo]

Storage and I get yelled at every single week. That I don't have storage.

[Andrew]

Well, it's just because every week I say, let's make sure we have enough storage on our phone. And sometimes we're 10 minutes in and the storage is full.

[Jo]

And sometimes I just delete everything that ever, ever existed on my phone like a crazy person.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys make Katya seem like a type A, organized, reliable. You know, it's so sad.

[Andrew]

Like, we really. We.

[Jo]

The fact that we've got here.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And that's proof positive. Miracles happen.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is huge.

[Andrew]

Miracles happen.

[Jo]

It's huge.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you guys do vaping?

[Andrew]

Vaping?

[Jo]

Yeah, sometimes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's talk about it. What's going on there?

[Andrew]

Well, listen, it's not my fault. It's our. It's. We live with one other. One other gay. And it's honestly his fault because he vapes. And I will never buy a vape. I don't think, like, this whole week we're not with him. I'm not going to vape once because I won't think about it. But if it's in front of me, I just need to borrow it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Interesting.

[Jo]

But you always. What's funny is that you guys always, like, give it a name that day.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Like, you're like Cassie. Jessica Lang.

[Andrew]

It's Jessica. It's any name we think of. So it's like the whole day, they'll be like, we really need. We need to see Charlize today. Like, immediately.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it marijuana or is it nicotine?

[Andrew]

It's nicotine.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Andrew]

It's nicotine.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've only done well when I was an English teacher. They had a fake vape, which was just the vapor.

[Andrew]

Speaking of you on English teacher, talk about a star.

[Jo]

That's really fucking crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, you know, I don't know what was so fun, Brian. Jordan Alvarez is so great. And I got really lucky because he made up that whole character and didn't even have to audition. He was like, I have this for you.

[Jo]

You're perfect.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was great. It was so fun to play like a loser burnout because I was never that person.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm so successful, of course. But that is how real drag queens would act in high school. They steal shit. They'd. You know. But the fake vaping was like, was.

[Andrew]

It a real vape or was it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And they bought me one the size of life.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Which is so good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And maybe choke. I don't know. I guess you get used to it.

[Jo]

I choke every single time I do it. That's. They. They, like, sometimes like to just watch me do it to laugh.

[Andrew]

It's like, right?

[Jo]

But no, I'm so happy I never got into vaping.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

I mean, it's stupid. No one should do it. Like, I stand by that. But I. Yeah. And I mean, on top of it, my voice is already so fried. I'm like, it's only going to get worse for me here. Like, I really. I'm a victim of vaping.

[Jo]

Vaping.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A vape culture.

[Jo]

I've done, like, weed vapes before, but I'm also off the weed train.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You are? Did you guys quit weed?

[Jo]

I did. Recently.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What happened?

[Jo]

I was getting to a point where I'm an anxious person. I don't know if you knew that, but I'm an anxious person. So when I would get high, it was supposed to calm people down, and I would just spiral in my head. So I was like, why am I actually doing this? And then I would do, like. I would do it at, like, 7pm Before I went to sleep, but then I would just, like, go down in the basement. The basement. Go down into my room, which is in the basement. I feel like I'm Cinderella, but I go down in the basement.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Freddy Krueger and I go to the.

[Jo]

Boiler room, sit there by myself, and I'm like, why am I not being social right now? It just would make me less social.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It definitely makes me. Well, to be honest, I love to. On a night where I'm like, there's no drinking, I just started drinking again. On a night where it's like, no drinking, it's fun to take a very minor edible.

[Jo]

Yeah, edibles, sure.

[Andrew]

But sometimes you take that edible and you're gripping onto the tabletop because you're sinking into the floor.

[Jo]

Depends on how much. Yeah. You're taking.

[Andrew]

And I never know how much I'm supposed to be taking.

[Jo]

And we've had some crazy, well, edible stories.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

One time, Tracy and I, we're in Mexico. And you know how some. Some hotels, you have an elevator to get to the lobby, and then you go to a different elevator to go to rooms, and sometimes an elevator that just goes to the bars and the restaurants in the hotel.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Tracy and I got high, and by the time we got up to the second elevators, we kept getting in the one that only went to the bar in the hotel, the bar in the restaurant, and we were kind of like, what? Where. Where are the rooms? Like, have they all disappeared? Like, it was, like, too much. And then I. I went to see Wicked that I'm not being paid to promote, but. And I Sat in the front row. Because when you go alone, you get one little ticket. And I hit the pen during the.

[Andrew]

Front row high of Wicked.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I was so high that I, I. My thought in my head was, what's my line? I thought it was so you gotta be careful.

[Jo]

Did you know your lines?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My thought in the moment, I swear to God, I went, okay, I'm gonna stand up and turn to the audience and talk. And then I went, nope.

[Jo]

Can you.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God, yeah.

[Jo]

Can you imagine the headlines the next day? It's like, trixie Mattel stands up at Wicked. Was it on Broadway?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, with the new. The New Alphabet. Mary Kate Morrissey. And it was no good deed, which is in the front of the stage and the air's blowing. And imagine me being like, oh, thank you, everyone, for coming. Yeah, what would I say? Did you guys ever do plays? Were you theater people?

[Jo]

No, we're so. That was one thing for us is like, we're repressed. Theater gaze. We just never did theater. And it's something that we regret deeply.

[Andrew]

I assistant directed Anything Goes and that's my girl. And Barnum, if anyone's familiar with Barnum.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What goes on with Barnum?

[Andrew]

It's literally the Greatest Showman. It's almost the exact same musical. It's about P.T. barnum, like, putting on a show. Do you like the Greatest Showman?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Jo]

Okay. I just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's a song that the drag queens do. I'm a stranger to whatever.

[Jo]

This is me, the girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let me tell you, the drag queens, they love it. They sit there, you know, like that meme of Lois Griffin with the pills and she's like, all the shovels. That's that song. Yeah. And drag queens during Pride, they're like.

[Jo]

They ate it up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're like, I have to do it. Not to mention, if you. I mean, if you're a plus size drag queen, I have access to a lace beard. Mama, get ready.

[Jo]

Easy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's coming in times. It's really time coming. But you know who turns up for it? Straight people at the Pride.

[Andrew]

Yeah, because it moves.

[Jo]

Then I love me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, true.

[Andrew]

And you're.

[Jo]

And you're a straight person that loves Greatest Showman. So that sucks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Straight people. What's going on there?

[Andrew]

In general.

[Jo]

In general?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, like, what's going on there?

[Jo]

I feel like you've been on the record saying that you never want to be near a straight person.

[Andrew]

No, no, no, no, no. I love straight women.

[Jo]

Straight women.

[Andrew]

I love straight women.

[Jo]

Straight women. Crazy straight man.

[Andrew]

Yeah, straight man. I don't have no. I have no. Like, there's no evolutionary purpose for me to be, like, a friend of a straight man unless I am family with them or it is one of my dearest friends, husbands or boyfriends.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right. And there are those unicorn straight guys. We're like, you're amazing. How are you not get. You're. You're just so funny and nice.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And that's wonderful. I'm happy about them. I don't know those people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Andrew]

Like, I'm never in a room with them.

[Jo]

It's like, what do you talk. Like, what are you. Like, what do you talk about? Do you watch sports?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do I. Yeah.

[Jo]

Like, I'm like, is that what you say?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My brother just invited me to come to Minnesota to watch the Vikings and Green Bay Packer game. And I love my brother and I'm always trying to have a more consistent relationship, but I was like, I am not going to that.

[Jo]

Yeah, that's worst case scenario.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, I'm just. I don't even think you should go. Like, I'm not doing that. You know, I don't know. I don't know what that is. Like, hey, Dan, do you want to come to. Come to Los Angeles and go to a Bette Midler concert with me? Like, I don't know, it's like a little. I don't want to go to Drag Con. Yeah. But I think we can find a different. Maybe if he and I went to the super bowl and it was like a Dolly Parton Super Bowl. Like, Super Bowl.

[Jo]

I get that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There could be a crossover.

[Andrew]

Yeah. That would actually be perfect.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Dolly Parton at the Super Bowl. Yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

At the Super Bowl.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Exactly. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How much longer do we have? Oh, God, no. I have a tendency to not be able to wrap it up, and then suddenly I realize we have to go and I just quit talking and we leave. So I try to create more of a. But.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, so if you guys are. How'd you guys start watching the drag race? Was this when you guys were straight?

[Jo]

Well, it's like.

[Andrew]

Well, I mean, it depends on who we were straight to.

[Jo]

No, so I came out. I came out pretty late. I came out at 23, which was four years ago. Five.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I came out 23 times. Yeah. No one believed me.

[Jo]

Well, yeah, everyone. Yeah, everyone was like, you're gay, you're gay. And no, it took me Till I was 23, but once I turned 23.

[Andrew]

Four years ago, wasn't it New Year's Eve going into 2020?

[Jo]

Yeah, it was. Is that four years ago?

[Andrew]

We're going into 20. 25. Oh, five years.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So fierce.

[Jo]

But it was going into 2020, and I was like, oh, my God. Obviously, 2020. Like, clear vision.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But did you have, like, this haircut and stuff? And you're like, it's me.

[Jo]

I had to comb over. I had a comb over my whole life. I had to come over.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you bald?

[Jo]

No, but, like, I mean, like, I would take my hair and I would brush it to the side like I was a father of four.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Jo]

And, like, yeah, it was like taking my kids to soccer, and it was just, like, wavy. And then I one day just started to curl my hair. But once I came out, it was 2020. Then we're in the pandemic, and I'm like, what the fuck do I do? Like, I'm gay. So what do gay people do?

[Andrew]

Yeah. Watch Drag Race.

[Jo]

Watch Drag Race. So I binged the entire thing. That and Queer Eye, because I thought that was the two things.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I actually, like, meanwhile, love. Love Queer Eye. The straight people are watching that.

[Jo]

No, exactly. But I didn't have. I was like, again, I was isolated. I was alone, and I wasn't telling people. I was doing all these things, and I was just. Just. It was like, drag race, Queer Eye. Drag race, Queer Eye. And then I left the pandemic. I was one.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is me.

[Jo]

Every. This is me. Yeah. I was all five of the Queer Eye guys. And. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Jo]

Dragged down.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys, what I love listen to about you guys, this pod is the. You guys are, like, almost the same person. The way you tell stories, like, it's like hearing two minds that are, like, conjoined tell a story. Because you guys have been in each other's lives at every stage, which is crazy. Do you guys feel like you have, like, a psychic link?

[Andrew]

Yeah, we actually just talking about this earlier today because Andrew said that made a joke. He was like, oh, by the way, on Thursday, I'm not going to make it. And I was like, why? You're going to be on Abbott Elementary. And he was like, that's exactly what I was about to say. It's not true.

[Jo]

It's not true. We were just. We were like. We were driving past a lot, and I was like, oh, this is going to be really hard for you to hear, but I'm not going to be with you on Thursday.

[Andrew]

I was like, you got Abbott?

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And it's like, we, like. So, like, there's no surprises when it comes to us at this point. Like, we can. We do know what each other's thinking. I think sometimes for the worst.

[Jo]

And I think that at the beginning of the pod, that's what really worked because we would do the clips and post it on TikTok and we would finish each other's sentences and we would land on the same, like, oh, Kelly Clarkson. And people like, oh, my God, did you stage that? And we were like, no.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It is like, you guys are, like, so mind melded because you were so young.

[Andrew]

Like, yeah, we ruined each other's lives in that way. Oh.

[Jo]

But we blessed it too.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Could you imagine if you guys moved, like, live, grew up even, what, 30 miles away from each other and never met? What would your life be?

[Andrew]

It really, really makes you think a.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Single mom works too.

[Andrew]

You would for sure.

[Jo]

I'd be straight. I would. I would. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Like, deeply. I would be, like, deeply closed.

[Jo]

Do you think I would be like. Yeah, I would be like, George Santos.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love that you whispered it and then sent it into the microphone.

[Jo]

I wanted them to be like, yeah, that's okay. That's okay to say. That's okay to say. Yeah. I mean, like, what is she up to?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I saw that she did Z way and I was like, the awareness has left the room.

[Jo]

She was our congressman. Yeah. New York, like in New York, Long island, like our district.

[Andrew]

Signs everywhere.

[Jo]

I'm serious. Like, I would have been George Santos. That's so scary. What are they up, like, doing interviews? No longer.

[Andrew]

I think that. I think things are looking worse for him.

[Jo]

Yeah. Because I feel like afterwards he was like, I'm going to be a celebrity doing cameo.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Going to be on a TV show called Dancing with the Faggot Pieces of shit.

[Jo]

Yeah, exactly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dancing with Cameo.

[Jo]

Eight George Santos up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What a turret. I think now, people, you know, we're filming this at the time of a new incoming president. Woo. Do you think that everybody online is like, I'm going to stop fudgeing the straight guys. Do you think that we all just have to stop fucking the straight guys?

[Andrew]

I'm not in that situation.

[Jo]

So are you fucking the straight guys?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was, yeah. Almost exclusively because the gay guys all know Trixie.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I get. I get that point of view for you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I saw one tweet that was like, we're gonna stop douching for the stray guys. Let's paint the town.

[Andrew]

I was like, yeah.

[Jo]

I mean, like, fuck the straight guys in Brooklyn. I don't know.

[Andrew]

They're close enough. Straight guys are gay already, so it's like, hard to really Even differentiate.

[Jo]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew]

But, yeah, I mean, I think that if I was in a situation where I was fucking straight men, I think that my time would be up. I think my time would be up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's over. Yeah. It's a wrap.

[Andrew]

Unless you were.

[Jo]

Let's wrap it up.

[Andrew]

Unless you are really reclaiming the pleasure and the power completely for yourself and you give them none of it. So maybe, yeah, you have to paint sometimes. Painting is the answer.

[Jo]

You have to paint.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's your art, really. When you guys came over to go swimming, you guys were staunchly against Los Angeles. Do you still feel that way?

[Jo]

I have come a long, long way. I love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You do?

[Jo]

I love it. And I'm like, every single time I'm here, I feel like I. Yeah, it's only a matter of time. We've talked about it, though. Because you don't. Right.

[Andrew]

I. Yeah.

[Jo]

You don't see yourself.

[Andrew]

Waivers. I like it when I'm here for longer periods. When I'm here for, like, a week or like a weekend, I do not like it. But also, I don't drive. I know that you don't drive, but, like, I feel very isolated. Like, I like New York because I can go anywhere and, like, run into people, but here it's like, am I going to walk down the side of the street for 15 minutes to, like, coffee and, like, just feel like I get very anxious here really quickly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let me tell you, you will move here and you will never have a friend ever again.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nobody sees anyone. No. Just literally Thursday, Orville Peck. Me and Britney were supposed to go to dinner or an Orville Peck canceled. And then Britney canceled. And that is the closest I've had to, like, a real friend. Dinner friend. Yeah. No one does anything. The level of fierce, like, flakiness among us all is so extreme.

[Jo]

Okay. I need to. You're swaying my opinion. Do you. Do you think I should move here? Is it a good place? Do you like being here as opposed to New York? Do you like visiting New York?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Not at all.

[Jo]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Not at all.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But then again, when I'm there, it's like, for a press tour and I'm staying, like, in a hotel in Times Square. Like, it's not. It's not the fantasy.

[Jo]

I think it's just because I'm from New York. Like, I like. I want something different, you know? And this feels a little bit different. I feel more relaxed here, honestly. And I like to drive. So that's the thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Once you come here and you realize there's no Winter, it is very horny. Yeah, it's horny when it's January and you're like outside in your T shirt and you're like, yeah, that's a real. But I'm trying.

[Andrew]

New York winter, it's like they want you to kill yourself. That's the goal. It's like, it is really, really, really scary.

[Jo]

Like January in New York. What are you going to do?

[Andrew]

Yeah, it's horrible. It's really. It's so scary. And you stop. You also stop seeing people in New York at this time of year. Like now suddenly your, your days end at 5pm and you go to sleep. Like it's like over at this point.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So.

[Andrew]

It is, it really is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also the rest. The other thing is the restaurants are. People are. People are sitting at your table in New York because everything's so small.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, those rooms are so small. Like you're paying these. Even the fancy restaurants, fancy hotel, you open the door, it hits the bed. You're like, okay.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It is crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a space issue.

[Andrew]

The space here is really nice. I do think that there, I think there is an energy of peace. It's just not my level. Like, I need to operate with certain anxiety at all times. And then I feel comfortable. Comfortable. And like New York gives me that. I'm like, I'm getting on the subway. I'm at risk constantly. I feel amazing. You're almost. What am I gonna do all day?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys are both very anxious, huh?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do you do you worry about the long term effect of your health on your health. Like, listen, autoimmune disorder.

[Andrew]

What did you say?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Autoimmune disorder.

[Andrew]

Stress, anxiety disorders, of course. And that's like, my mom is dealing with all that now in her life because she's just been anxious forever.

[Jo]

I think it's a very long island Italian. Like growing up in that household, your mom is always stressed and anxious. You're always like late to something, then there's like extra stress on top of it.

[Andrew]

And then always worse scenario. Always worse scenario at all times.

[Jo]

Yeah, we've definitely gotten a lot better.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Well, we chose a career where we have to kind of face it head on and on camera. So it really does actually make it like, I think it's been. Every time we do something that feels like bigger, monumental to us, like, we leave that and we're like, okay, we can do that again. Yeah, like, that's a really good feeling in that way. So we're slowly getting there. You should have met us Two years ago.

[Jo]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew]

We wouldn't, we wouldn't have been here for several reasons, but we would have caught them sick.

[Jo]

Even before our first live show, it.

[Andrew]

Was like, oh, I had Covid for a week and a half. I wasn't. I didn't actually have Covid. He didn't have Covid. He just had everything.

[Jo]

He was laid out the day of the show. I was like, joe, what do you. What do you mean? We have a show tonight. It's our first live show ever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Please don't tell Katya will do that if you tell her. Don't tell her that, please.

[Andrew]

It was really amazing and, like, getting a rental car, like, because it was. It was nice for me because I was laying in bed, but I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's. There's these moments where, like, I mean, I feel like it's insane. Like, Bob the Drag Queen is next door. She's one of those people where I don't think she gets nervous. I think the more heightened the situation is, the more she actually plugs in and uses the energy, the more people are there, the more stakes are higher. She's actually like a better and better performer. Yeah, it's fucking irritating because it's amazing.

[Andrew]

Do you get nervous?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

That's so crazy. That's so crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You would never know. Go to lunch with a family member.

[Jo]

That's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew]

Like, well, that makes more sense, honestly, than, like, your work, though. Like, do you get nervous at a gig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

For DJing? Not really. Yeah, for DJing. Not really for stand up. I used to, like, almost puke every time, you know, when I was doing the one woman shows, unless I was in the middle of a tour of a bunch of shows, I really would be like, it's going to be awful because comedy is so unpredictable.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

At least with DJing, I'm like, well, I know that I can play music, and the variation on whether or not they, like it is going to change every night, whatever. But usually, you know, I would get really nervous for things like, like, I remember the first time I. Right before I walked into Drag Race, the first time I remember looking in the mirror and thinking, this was a mistake and they're all about to find out about you. The first time I went on stage at a nightclub at 21, I remember being backstage in the dressing room and thinking, this is a mistake and they're all going to find out that you're a liar, who's a fraud, who shouldn't be here. Like, there's that level of you fucked.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you're fucked.

[Jo]

Like self deprecating thoughts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's almost like you're in a bad dream.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Where the anxiety is so steep that you're like, should I just start running?

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. That was like. I remember that very vividly before our first live show. Being backstage with you and just being like, we have to just commit now because we're here. But I do not think this is gonna go well.

[Jo]

But then right when you hit the stage and then people are clapping, then you're like, okay, we got this. They want to see you win, you know, so that's what we kept saying, like throughout the entire pod, the live shows, whatever. Like people want to see you win.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jo]

So they're not like coming in there being like, oh, that sucks. They suck.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're not, they're not. They're not. Especially for you guys. They're there to see you because they love you. They're there to hear personal stories and like, they know what they get like used to get weird about. For the bald and the beautiful live. She'd be like, are people going to be mad that it's us just talking? And I was like, that's what they want.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It's hard to like convince yourself that that's true though. I get it. Like, because you are like, this is the easy. Especially with like K. Like with us it's like we talk, we do this for fun no matter what. So the idea of people paying to see it, I'm like, okay, we're scamming you. But people enjoy it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do, I do think having a partner helps. Like having Katya. I really never get nervous when we go out there.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I think only after that, after that first live show.

[Jo]

Oh yeah.

[Andrew]

We were fine because it was. It's so easy to be like, even if I feel off tonight, you're going to take it away. Like we can just balance on tour.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Would be like one night or the other night. It'd be like, it's your night.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because I'm on the suicide watch. Or Katya, like if she's sick or I'm sick or whatever. We would really feel out the, like, I need you tonight to be the 60 so I could be the 40. Yeah, I can't do it.

[Andrew]

Which is really, really nice to have that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, really nice. And you know, I'm not. She's not here, is she? So, so gifted and so funny and everyone loves her so much.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm always like, even if I dropped dead, these people would get their Money's worth. So when you think of yourself as.

[Andrew]

That's exactly how I feel about him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

If you believe in your partner's talent, you're like, it's going to be okay.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, best case scenario. Like, worst case scenario. I'm the like, mid sidekick to something incredible.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So it's going to be okay.

[Jo]

That's not true.

[Andrew]

Thank you.

[Jo]

Yeah, of course.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I want you to start crying, but do you guys cry for movies?

[Jo]

Not. No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Movies will fuck. I will go to a funeral of a loved one and be like, is there going to be food? And then like, a movie. Oh, Mike. I watched that movie, Lars and the Real Girl the other day about Ryan Gosling dating a sex doll.

[Jo]

You were sobbing, crying.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yes.

[Jo]

Okay, so I gotta watch that.

[Andrew]

That was me to ET Last night on the plane. I will say, for some reason, ET Brought me to tears and it wasn't the plan.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Entertainment Tonight.

[Andrew]

I was just like this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We used to.

[Andrew]

We used to make movies. It was like one of those moments. I was like, those kids are flying. Like, that really must have been crazy to watch when it first came out. And then I was like, sobbing on the plane. And then we landed and I couldn't finish the movie, but I was crying.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Have you watched Back to the Future recently? That movie also has that power.

[Jo]

No, I haven't watched it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Andrew]

I saw the musical and now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, girl, I want to go. It's at the Pantages down the street from my house.

[Jo]

I'll say. You want. Oh, go. Listen, the production of the show, amazing, you know, the technical thing's amazing, but I think everything else was it missed me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do they sing Power of Love?

[Andrew]

I don't think so.

[Jo]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Damn.

[Andrew]

But we could be wrong.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Huey Lewis in the news.

[Andrew]

Who's to say no?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love the beginning.

[Jo]

It's like both of those hugs are in it. We go, I'm late for school.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And he puts on the headphones and Power of Love. I love.

[Andrew]

I wouldn't be shocked if that happens in it. I wouldn't be shocked. It's just like.

[Jo]

We just, like, didn't love it.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you think that Marty and Doc Brown did?

[Andrew]

Yes, I hope I would if I were Marty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You think you showed him as Doc Brown?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He got Doc Brown for sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

In the off chance that not everybody here has followed you, can you tell them where they can follow Good children?

[Jo]

Yeah, you can follow us across all social media platforms at Goodchildren Pod.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You guys are so funny and everyone loves you.

[Andrew]

That is really nice to say. Obviously. Same to you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you're so funny. You love each other so much and you're both so well dressed and all of your success is well deserved.

[Jo]

Thank you.

[Andrew]

Don't make it. You just want us to cry so bad.

[Jo]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like you want us to start playing.

[Andrew]

ET on your phone.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sometimes you're like, okay, give it up for her. With you guys, it's just like this industry is so random, but sometimes it happens to people who really deserve it. You guys really deserve it. Thank you so much.

[Jo]

Thank you.

[Andrew]

That really means the world coming from you. Truly.

[Jo]

This was truly a dream trip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of course I need you to leave now though.

[Jo]

Okay. Bye guys.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bye.

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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