RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 3: "ShakesQueer, Sewing, & Excuses" with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary: RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Ep 3: "ShakesQueer, Sewing, & Excuses"

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya dives deep into the third episode of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7, titled "ShakesQueer, Sewing, & Excuses." Hosts Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodichikova offer their signature blend of humor, insight, and candid commentary as they dissect the episode's challenges, runway looks, and eliminations.

---

1. Introduction to ShakesQueer Challenge

The episode centers around the "ShakesQueer" challenge, a creative twist combining Shakespearean elements with the vibrant Drag Race flair.

Katya: "ShakesQueer was my challenge. It was my bad."
Timestamp: [07:05]

Katya starts by discussing the origins of the challenge, highlighting the chaotic brainstorming process that led to its creation. She humorously recalls how the challenge unintentionally became a "Muppety" disaster, referencing the over-the-top performances reminiscent of puppet characters.

Katya: "Pearl literally moved her body like a Muppet."
Timestamp: [09:11]

---

2. Evaluating the Challenge's Execution

Trixie and Katya critique the execution of the ShakesQueer challenge, emphasizing the lack of scripted humor and the contestants' limited acting skills.

Trixie: "It felt very Muppety. Like, Pearl literally moved her body like a Muppet."
Timestamp: [09:25]

Katya agrees, stating that despite the poor performance, the challenge inadvertently became iconic due to its unintentional comedy.

Katya: "People always love to say that Season seven was so bad directly to my face, which is weird. But honestly, I think it's become the most iconic season ever."
Timestamp: [09:17]

---

3. Runway Analysis and Fashion Critique

The hosts delve into the runway presentations, focusing on the creativity and craftsmanship behind each queen's look.

Jasmine: "I think Violet's Runway was really cool, like going to homecoming."
Timestamp: [41:31]

Katya: "Violet had this really cool, like, going to homecoming. It was a Dior, like classic 50s cool, gorgeous."
Timestamp: [41:38]

They praise Violet's Dior-inspired look, noting its elegance and adherence to classic aesthetics, while critiquing other contestants' less successful runway outfits.

Katya: "My bearded Runway I remembered being better. It is a dog show for the most part."
Timestamp: [38:20]

---

4. Emotional Dynamics and Contestant Relationships

Trixie and Katya discuss the emotional toll of the competition, particularly focusing on Violet's solitary demeanor and Jasmine's struggles.

Jasmine: "Fame is kind of an anxiety ball. Violet is unable to make a friend."
Timestamp: [13:40]

They reflect on the isolation some contestants feel, with Violet embodying a more guarded and solitary persona, contrasting with others who form tighter bonds.

Katya: "Violet didn't like anybody. She was up her own ass."
Timestamp: [13:58]

---

5. Memorable Moments and Highlights

Highlighting unforgettable moments, the hosts recall specific instances that stood out during the episode, such as Pearl's unique introductions and Jasmine's wardrobe mishaps.

Katya: "Pearl's red beard was so super creative. She came up with that the morning."
Timestamp: [41:04]

Jasmine: "I had this graphic saved on my phone if you want to know what type of girl Jasmine is."
Timestamp: [62:23]

They emphasize Pearl's spontaneous creativity and Jasmine's dedication to her craft, despite technical setbacks like broken zippers and last-minute outfit improvisations.

---

6. Challenges and Time Management

The discussion shifts to the intense time constraints contestants face during challenges, with Trixie and Katya expressing frustration over the unrealistic expectations.

Katya: "We had to rewrite a song. We had to record the fucking lyrics. We had to drag. We had to develop choreography... in one day."
Timestamp: [51:54]

Jasmine: "We were doing an exc three episodes in. Next week we have episode four."
Timestamp: [63:20]

They highlight the pressure to deliver high-quality performances with minimal preparation time, often leading to subpar results.

---

7. RuPaul's Critiques and Their Impact

Trixie and Katya analyze RuPaul's critiques, questioning the fairness and tone of the feedback given to contestants.

Katya: "I think RuPaul was saying that you guys reflect. This is my show. The quality of my show matters to me, and you guys did not."
Timestamp: [52:25]

Jasmine: "RuPaul was like, she's Rain man with music. RuPaul's like, gorgeous. You don't know Marlena Dietrich."
Timestamp: [61:35]

They discuss how RuPaul's high standards and direct feedback can be both motivating and demoralizing, impacting contestants' performances and self-esteem.

---

8. Personal Reflections and Connections

Throughout the episode, Trixie and Katya share personal anecdotes and connect their own experiences with the challenges faced by Drag Race contestants.

Katya: "She started packing the morning of elimination. That's so tough."
Timestamp: [55:28]

Jasmine: "Don't throw it away at the end. I loved that she gave up."
Timestamp: [55:37]

They empathize with the emotional strain of competition, drawing parallels to their own lives and the importance of resilience and camaraderie.

---

9. Closing Thoughts and Future Episodes

As the episode wraps up, Trixie and Katya tease upcoming discussions and challenges, maintaining their engaging dynamic.

Jasmine: "Next week we have episode four... It's a spoof."
Timestamp: [63:48]

Katya: "Hopefully inspirational, crazy, you know. We're looking forward to it."
Timestamp: [63:55]

They invite listeners to tune in for more in-depth analyses and entertaining takes on future episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race.

---

Notable Quotes

• Katya: "It's just bad. So there's that plus the fact that we're not good actors. None of us."
  Timestamp: [25:34]

• Jasmine: "Everything about this is bad."
  Timestamp: [32:19]

• Katya: "It's not gonna happen until Conjoined twins, honestly."
  Timestamp: [60:41]

---

Conclusion

In this episode of The Bald and the Beautiful, Trixie and Katya provide a comprehensive and entertaining breakdown of RuPaul's Drag Race Season 7 Episode 3. Their blend of humor, critical analysis, and personal stories offers listeners a unique perspective on the highs and lows of the drag competition, making it a must-listen for fans of both the podcast and the show.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

Abercrombie denim is everything right now. Denim should feel like this. Confident, easy, like your butt has never looked better. If you didn't know Abercrombie's Curve Love denim went viral in 2019 for eliminating waist gap. And it's still a game changer. Between that and their classic fits with a straighter line from waist to hip, the perfect denim does exist. Shop Abercrombie Denim in the app, online and in store.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Trixie Mattel]

Of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow. After 35 gigabytes of network's busy taxes and fees extra. Cmintmobile.com this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there.

[Jasmine Masters]

Do you know that my new thing is to buy myself makeup on TikTok? Shop while I'm high. And then when it comes, I think it's pr. I'm like, I've been gifted. And then I look, check my email, I'm like, oh, there's a receipt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A Lamborghini Diablo.

[Jasmine Masters]

So what were you gonna say?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Remember when my house was filled with dangerous black mold?

[Jasmine Masters]

Oh yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Today I'm so proud to say that is not the case. And not only that, my bathroom is so fucking cunty. And you know what I do in my bathroom? Yesterday I had fucking sex with a man.

[Jasmine Masters]

Can't you wait till you get off the john?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mary? My shower is so sexually active and encouraging.

[Jasmine Masters]

A rando or like a person?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, a person. I know. We saw, oh, we saw the Wes Anderson movie, the Phoenician. Something.

[Jasmine Masters]

How was it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fabulous. Love it.

[Jasmine Masters]

Great length. The Phoenician Chronic.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it's the Phoenician. It's like situation or something like that. Yeah, great. Michael, Sarah is hysterical.

[Jasmine Masters]

Love him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He's hysterical. He's so, so good. Highly recommended. I mean, I love Wes Anderson's movies.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, I've never seen one. I don't think.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you kidding me?

[Jasmine Masters]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, we got to get you on that gig.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's Big Lebowski, right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, that's.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's the cornbread. It's World Tenenbaums.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Jasmine Masters]

I've never seen it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, I'm going to give you three that you're going to adore.

[Jasmine Masters]

Which would I start with?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would start with the Royal Tenenbaums.

[Jasmine Masters]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then I would say you should watch French Dispatch.

[Jasmine Masters]

Wasn't there one last year, too?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's, like, every other. Yeah, yeah. French Dispatch was.

[Jasmine Masters]

I know. Can I say how I know about it? People always tag the Trixie Motel as, like, accidentally Wes Anderson. Mar. Anderson.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're wrong.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's because of the color and the structure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He has a very, like, stylized point of view. Visually, that's very identifiable. It's like. But sometimes it ventures into, like, cutesy rather than, like, quirky. Whatever. But it's a great movie. Lovely length, by the way. About 100 minutes.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's perfect.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. It's fucking perfect. And we were kind of being gross. We were, like, one of maybe six people in the theater. I was feeling up his dick.

[Jasmine Masters]

In the movie theater?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I was feeling up on his dick.

[Jasmine Masters]

Did he know?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah. He. He enjoyed. And then we went naked. He went to Babe. I showed him my new house. And then. Or the new whatever, we went into that shower. A got sexual so fast.

[Jasmine Masters]

Red light, special.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Black light? Actually, no, it's not black, but it's all black and white. It was. It's so easy to have sex in there. It's conti.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Huge bench, fits five people.

[Jasmine Masters]

Do you get scared of slipping in the shower?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, because I intentionally designed the floor to be non slip.

[Jasmine Masters]

Good for you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you.

[Jasmine Masters]

You know, I'm really happy because I remember a time just a few months ago when this was, like, the bane of your life. It was horrible.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Not to be dramatic, but it was really sucked. It really fudgeing sucked. It was unfucking pleasant.

[Jasmine Masters]

It was tough, and it was hard to see also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It must have been annoying for you.

[Jasmine Masters]

No, it wasn't annoying for me. I felt for you because I could tell you were just in a. It's a lot of tough situations when it comes to your home, where you actually go to esc. When you can't go home to escape a tough situation. That sucks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it does suck.

[Jasmine Masters]

And Vanderpump told me that your home is your sanctuary. And I do think there's some truth to that, Mary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My home has always been my sanctuary. And talk to my parents. Talk to my parents. They allowed us. There was like, you know what? Human rights. Like, we. Privacy was the one that was. It was like sacred in our home. We were very lucky. We had like a. Like a middle class.

[Jasmine Masters]

How many bathrooms you have?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Two.

[Jasmine Masters]

Oh, me in your home growing up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, one and a half. Five people. We had one shower for five people.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, it's intense.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I had for the lat. For high school. I mean, I shared a room with my brother most of my life, but then I had my own room for, like, three years. Sanctuary, Mama. Sanctuary. Parents would not walk in the door. They would knock. Nobody would walk into anybody's door. Like, it was like, yeah, you respect their personal space. And that was very, very.

[Jasmine Masters]

I think that's nice. Like in. There's a film called Freaky Friday with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Kermis. Thank you immediately for saying that. And there's a part where she takes her door to punish her. I would never do that. Take a teenager's door.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'd move out.

[Jasmine Masters]

What do I want to watch my kid jerk it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would take.

[Jasmine Masters]

Do you know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would take that door, go in the ocean and die. Like in the Titanic.

[Jasmine Masters]

In the Titanic. I'm really happy for you. Everything's turning around.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This. I can't wait for you to see this.

[Jasmine Masters]

This bathroom. We have never been invited over.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, because it's not done. But mama, I am so proud of this bathroom. It is very difficult to design stuff.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have no experience doing it. And I ate this bathroom up. And obviously with the ex. Expert skill of these workers, especially the tile guys. They yanked that right off.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yanked it. And the pressure. I don't know where she's coming from. Skin ripped off. I. I don't know. I got three different options. I got the.

[Jasmine Masters]

The waterfall, the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The thing and hose. The pressure is out of control. She was never like. She was never like that before. She stepped.

[Jasmine Masters]

She stepped her up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She said, this bathroom is kind. I'm gay.

[Jasmine Masters]

I'm going to give you all my. By the way, give it up for this amazing shirt that's. It's a morphine tweet that says literally, Trixie Mattel.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It is shades of Tempest. Trixie, Trixie.

[Jasmine Masters]

You can get this on my website with. With the blessing of morphine. I was like, can I put your tweet on shirt. She said, yeah, and you get this solopink disco shirt, too. This is really fun. I like this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm not as good as this, but this.

[Jasmine Masters]

Shut up. So can I talk about we're about to endure?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Jasmine Masters]

Shakes Queer.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mama, are you. Have you done your Kegels and your emotional preparations?

[Jasmine Masters]

I'll do you one better.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What?

[Jasmine Masters]

I got a voice note.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God. From who?

[Jasmine Masters]

I got in touch with the person, the challenge producer who thought of it. The person, the cunt responsible. Mandy and the dicks that did this to me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Manny.

[Jasmine Masters]

Todd Masterson.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, Todd.

[Jasmine Masters]

Todd Masterson. Hello, Todd. Todd.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hi, Todd. Yeah, he's lovely.

[Jasmine Masters]

Todd reached out because we had said this week that we were going to be doing out, and I, you know, I'm asking for voice notes, and I am okay with people saying no. But Todd said, hey, just watching the pod. Did I ever tell you Shakes Queer was my challenge? It was my bad. But great TV, he said, 48 years later and people still talk about it. And I said, well, would you feel comfortable sending a voice note? We're trying to process the trauma.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

And they sent one. I haven't even heard it yet, so let's fucking hear it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's hear it.

[Todd Masterson]

Hi, longtime listener, first time caller. So I was one of the challenge producers on season seven, and Shakespeare is my faul, I guess. But, like, I didn't name it or write the scripts. They have a writing team that does all the words for stuff. But I pitched it so last minute. Like, you know, when you're pitching stuff like that, in the very early stages of the process, we don't. You literally just pitch every thought that comes into your brain, and then you let the executives put it all together. Like, in those first meetings, you literally just spew out the dumbest panic thoughts. Like spaghetti wrestling are like, what if we do Fear Factor and they have to eat spiders? Like, it's so dumb and chaotic, and you just pitch till you can't Queer Factor anymore. You run out of ideas. But I pitched it as just doing Shakespeare set in the RuPaulverse. And then the producers decided on writing original scripts. Like, I was going for a Baz Luhrmann thing, and they went Saturday Night Live with it. Turned out so funny because it was so bad. Like, Pearl and Jasmine and even Violet were so bad in McBitch that they almost swung back into being good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I can't wait to talk about this.

[Todd Masterson]

It felt very Muppety. Like, Pearl literally moved her body like a Muppet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, when you watch It.

[Todd Masterson]

It's so Muppets. I think it turned into this hilarious thing kind of by accident.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know about that.

[Todd Masterson]

People always love to say that Season seven was so bad directly to my face, which is weird. Thank you. But honestly, I think it's become the most iconic season ever. Has any other season produced so many mega stars?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Jasmine Masters]

Like, think about it.

[Todd Masterson]

Almost the entire cast of seven is still booked and blessed and super famous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Boop.

[Todd Masterson]

My chance for the next All Stars reboot is to bring back just the entire cast of seven and do another season with you guys.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would do it in a heart.

[Todd Masterson]

No, Ginger would be do it.

[Jasmine Masters]

All right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I absolutely would.

[Jasmine Masters]

By the way, you know Ginger would do it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of course you would.

[Jasmine Masters]

Not him saying, you know Ginger would do it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Excuse me. Hold on a second.

[Jasmine Masters]

Could I say someone, someone, Someone hold my wig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because, like, the way I would do that so fast. If I could get three more months of preparation than everybody else and about 100,000 more dollars than everybody else. Mama. I'd walk into that fucking workroom. Insufferable. I would.

[Jasmine Masters]

Can I be honest? I would do it for not even that much money if it was actually season seven.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

And it would be. I want the same challenges again. Like, I just want to do it again. Like an obstacle course.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Imagine if I bombed Glamazoni and everybody's again. That would be amazing. That would be incredible.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, we'd also. I also think we should have the same elimination, same lip sync. Does she do it like a play?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That would be fun. Fabulous.

[Jasmine Masters]

Me and Pearl in the bottom, like, just do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We could do it in three days. No, untucked. We just. Bam. Three episodes a day.

[Jasmine Masters]

We'd have to have all outfits made.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

I want the same outfits. I want the same. It would be wear that old makeup.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My black wig, my 35 black wig.

[Jasmine Masters]

Would you guys gag for us to just reenact season? It would be like historical reenactment.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my. All the confessionals are silhouettes.

[Jasmine Masters]

We all do like, a CGI anti aging. I have a full head of hair. Polar Express unit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's the pol.

[Jasmine Masters]

We have to wear units.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do it like Uncanny Valley.

[Jasmine Masters]

Of course.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Filters like Jeff Bridges and Tron.

[Jasmine Masters]

Snapchat filters. Girl, I would love to do season seven just again.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That would be funny. That would be very funny. Also, we never got to wear white, remember?

[Jasmine Masters]

That's right. We had an all white category.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We never got to wear.

[Jasmine Masters]

Okay, let's get into it. So this is episode three.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So we start off with Jasmine Tired ass. Horse face. Violet, Slim. Up and down, Pole body, panties, panties.

[Jasmine Masters]

I also like that they're cover that ass up. This is the beginning of factions forming in this season. This season is young versus old, which is weird because fame's not that young.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, that's my age essentially.

[Jasmine Masters]

And a lot of people in the old are not old.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Jasmine Masters]

So it's 21 or not 21. Yeah, that's really what the age gap is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's more like the old Lady Brigade.

[Jasmine Masters]

Is 33 year olds.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's more like performers versus like models.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, obviously then I'm in the right group because I was in the model group.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know about that.

[Jasmine Masters]

There was one clip of, there's one clip of Jasmine going. All these young, skinny fashion girls. Fame, Violet, Trixie. And I was watching it and I was like, I was like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm.

[Jasmine Masters]

The way my clothes or my body, hair or makeup does not touch them. But me being grouped in, I said fears.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Country.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's so funny. The old verse, young thing is like a major theme this season that honestly, in real time I did not feel. But I guess in the story room that maybe popped out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

I never have any memories of old versus young.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I need there because I got along with everybody.

[Jasmine Masters]

Me too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Yeah. We're both very, we're both very Switzerland.

[Jasmine Masters]

I didn't feel like, first of all, Violet and fame and Pearl didn't claim me. They weren't like, that's our sister also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They didn't even like each other.

[Jasmine Masters]

Girl, can I tell anybody?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mila didn't like anybody. Pearly like anybody. Fame was up her own ass.

[Jasmine Masters]

This is the beginning of truly exposing that there are some deeply unhappy individuals in this competition. I'm not saying they're unhappy in general. I'm just saying I think Bob the drag Queen is an example of somebody where competition brings out the best in them. Yeah, I think the fames, the Violets, me, some of us were not better.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I received, I received. I, I, I, I underperform.

[Jasmine Masters]

Buckled.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I underperform. I'm not my best friend.

[Jasmine Masters]

You know, Fame is kind of an anxiety ball. Violet is unable to make a friend.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Unwilling at this point. Unable. Unwilling. Can antisocial personality disorder completely because.

[Jasmine Masters]

And by the way, I, it took me years to get to a place with Violet where I think we are friends. It may be one sided, but I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Think we are also even. Like, even you could be complimenting her and she would just reject completely.

[Jasmine Masters]

I worship at the feet of Violet and I dream that she's my friend, but I don't know if that will ever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't think she is.

[Jasmine Masters]

That will ever. Cash.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, dinner. Our once a year dinner.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why am I wearing a golfer hat and a pug print shirt?

[Jasmine Masters]

We don't. We don't know. Where did jazz and masters get a loaf of bread?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So that was a fun challenge. I like that mini challenge. It loosened us up.

[Jasmine Masters]

So the mini challenges wants us to do Soul Train, but dressed as grannies.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pearl looks amazing. She's given Elaine stretch with Boniva.

[Jasmine Masters]

There's some granny chasers up in here. It's. So we're all doing a Soul Train as old people. I love my makeup.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You look great. Look so good.

[Jasmine Masters]

I love this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Everybody look great. I loved everybody. Lady drag is fun, fun. Super, super fun.

[Jasmine Masters]

And then Kennedy is who's perfected the old lady walk.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, that's her walk.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's. Maybe she walks like her like both hips. This slips. This food nasty. Jasmine has a loaf of bread groceries. And do you know why she had a loaf of bread? She brought her own food to Drag Race.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She brought her own sauces.

[Jasmine Masters]

She told me, the girls from LA told me that when you go to Drag Race, the food is bad. So Jasmine brought fucking groceries. Jasmine said, oh, Drag Race called. I gotta stop by Trader Joe's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mary, you know, I'm bringing my air fryer to this season seven recap. I'm bringing that little ninja girl. That ninja fucks me up, girl.

[Jasmine Masters]

Get that ninja. I'll put some loose change in there. Eat it up. So we're doing soul training was really fun, girl. I love these type of mini challenges that are pointless and crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's just fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's not like it makes me think of an all stars. Remember when you guys did the golfing?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. Well, you know what? It was funny though. That sucked because we were so bad. It took forever.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what's the best one? The telenovela one in season five where they had to cry. That was so weird and fun. I wish we got to do that.

[Jasmine Masters]

You would do a good job at crying.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

I would explain your Soul Train look because I forgot about how good your Soul Train looks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This wig. I had this wig. Okay. This wig is like, oh, this wig is got from Dorothy's boutique. It is a center part. It's actually quite expensive. It is a wet look. It was expensive. Excuse me. Was that face. It's. It is a long two tone.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's. It's at my water and swamp water.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

For Most of it. And then a good like 2 inches of blonde. And it's hard wet Perm. Perm.

[Jasmine Masters]

Noodle perm.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a. It's ramen.

[Jasmine Masters]

Ramen.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Ramen. Essentially it's a swamp water blonde ramen. It is so disgusting.

[Jasmine Masters]

Remember that you super glued the cigarette to your lip?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't actually. That's fierce.

[Jasmine Masters]

At the time I said how'd you get the cigarette? And you said you super glued it to your lip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So fierce. I love it. But fun fact, you still live like.

[Jasmine Masters]

That for a long time.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But that wig is from my an alter ego show at Perestroika where I was a character called Bumpy Bullet.

[Jasmine Masters]

Bumpy Bullet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Isn't that great?

[Jasmine Masters]

Let's take a breath. Let's take a break.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Jasmine Masters]

Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by our friends at Chime. Through Chime you can be smarter about how you manage your credit score. Now listen, I'm a late in life credit score knower about her, my grandpa Edward. Hi Edward from heaven. He always was like listen, why would you buy anything on credit? You need to focus more on saving money. I guess like for me as a country person it was stressed that you save money to buy something. But obviously you know, that is not exactly 20, 25 and beyond information because a credit score can be so important and instead of being overwhelmed by it and you know, I wish I had known at the time that you can build credit history with everyday purchases and regular on time payments with chime. Get access to credit tracking tools and personalized tips for a stress free credit experience. All without credit checks, minimum deposits, annual fees or interest. Visit chime.com bald to get started now again, I just did not get the best let's say education when I was younger about you know, the potential benefits of having better credit. I didn't quite like understand it. But it can make it easier to borrow for better terms with life's, you know, unexpected expenses. You know, you get access to lower rates on car and personal loans and you get expanded eligibility for apartments and houses. So if you're apartment hunting or mortgage hunting, you know, a good credit score is better chances. No annual fees, interest or credit checks. Use it everywhere Visa credit cards are accepted. Build credit with money you set aside. Make everyday purchases count. With Chime secured Credit Builder Visa credit card get started [e-mail] Bald Chime feels like progress.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Chime Credit Builder Visa credit card is issued by the bank or bank and a stripe bank and a Chime checking account required to apply. Money added to Credit Builder will be held in your secure deposit account as collateral. And there's your credit builder cards available to spend amount. This is money you can use to pay off your monthly charges out of network. ATM withdrawal and OTC advance fees may apply. Late payment may negatively impact your credit score. Results may vary. Go to chime.com disclosures for details.

[Jasmine Masters]

I have to talk to you about health because today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by our friends at Ritual. I have to talk to you. I'm 35 years old, about to turn 36 even, and I am more aware of every tiny change in my body every day. I'm not the bulletproof youthful little thing that I used to be. Okay, Now I kind of understand that everything is connected to your gut microbiome. Fact is, we are learning so much about the gut microbiome and how it's key to mental health, immunity and of course digestion. If you're looking for digestive support, Ritual has got your back, or rather your biome with Symbiotic Plus a three in one powerhouse of clinically studied pre, pro and postbiotics to support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. I like it because it's super easy. So it's a symbiotic plus. Ritual Symbiotic Plus. It's extremely easy. It's easy to take and for me, if it's health related, it has to be easy or I will, you guessed it, default and fail myself. It's also important to me that the Ritual products contain high quality clean ingredients and that all Rituals products are vegan, GMO free and tested for heavy metals and common allergens. Y' all. With my, you know, with my autoimmune disorder I have to be aware of what's in what and what could possibly affect what. Ritual Symbiotic plus is designed with a delayed release capsule to help reach the colon, not the stomach. An ideal place for probiotics to survive and grow once daily. Pop of mint scented for a bloat gut and regulatory support support. It's also vegan, so get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Get 25 off your first month at ritual.com bald that's ritual.com bald for 25 off your first month. I loved your Soul Train look.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was a cigarette.

[Jasmine Masters]

The glasses also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it was fun. That whole thing was so fun. I love that.

[Jasmine Masters]

And you know RuPaul loves like stupid old lady shitty costumes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah I mean, look at her Instagram.

[Jasmine Masters]

Look at her TikTok the Annie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You got to look at her Instagram now, because. Or not now, whenever this air is like her Annie running barefoot in a parking lot for about a half a mile.

[Jasmine Masters]

Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so good.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's really fierce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so good.

[Jasmine Masters]

I. Okay. So then we get into the challenge. Shakespeare. Violet gets picked last again.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love it.

[Jasmine Masters]

Even though she is so good in the challenges.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Doesn't matter. Because what's happening behind the scenes and when the cameras aren't necessarily rolling is she continues to be an. A surly, irascible bitch.

[Jasmine Masters]

And she's so talented, but, like, friends, she has none. Like, she is not yet close to anyone. She's. She's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's giving. It's giving by. It's giving what is called a BP.

[Jasmine Masters]

But me watching PD.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Now that it's been 10 years, me watching.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm like borderline personality disorder.

[Jasmine Masters]

Oh, yeah. Now watching. All these years later, I'm watching going. She's one of the strongest competitors. Why it's weird that she gets picked last because she's. She's good. Drag queen. She's 21.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

21.

[Jasmine Masters]

I think she auditioned at 20.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, he's doing that. 21. I was sucking my mama's titties. Breastfeeding.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. So then we get to the two. This is Shakespeare. It's the. It's like the. Who stole? No. MC It's Romeo, and it's Romeo and Juliet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And MC.

[Jasmine Masters]

I receive. Max is my team leader, which is great. She's been British for days. This is kind of perfect, right? She's been British since she got here. Woke up British.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So she picks Katherine Hepburn. I think she's got a transatlantic thing going on.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh. This challenge is right up my alley.

[Jasmine Masters]

I'm going to let the girls know that I've. I've got it out for them because I'm an actress. Interesting. I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fetch my golf clubs. Here we go.

[Jasmine Masters]

So I'm in. We're in separate groups. I'm in. Romy and Juliet. Julietta. Little did I know I was going to be in the incredible, stellar group.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Compared to the other.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you did good.

[Jasmine Masters]

I did okay. I had a comp. I had the part you don't want in a group, which is the narrator. It's a dumb part.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's. Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Can I tell you my aspirations at the beginning of this competition? I think I was so delusional that I thought I'd be there the whole time. So I thought it's okay to just pick an easy part at the beginning. I'm not going home. Like, I was just like, give me the easy part. It was four lines.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wow. I thought I was clinging from episode three on. I was like, fingernails on the ledge every episode.

[Jasmine Masters]

I was delusional because I go home next, But I was still at a point where I was like, yeah, give me the part with two lines. I don't care if I blend in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because to me, I'm gonna win the next five challenges.

[Jasmine Masters]

I just thought there were so many people there that I was like, I won't mess up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

But I won't win.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

So I just did it, and I. I can't explain that outfit. Max borrowed me, that gray wig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, you looked kind of bad.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, it's. It's a blue.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's very, like, renaissance.

[Jasmine Masters]

But don't you remember this? We were told in our realistic Runway looks to bring a Shakespeare look.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was gonna be a Runway.

[Jasmine Masters]

We all brought Runway looks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

So then it comes out to be a shitty comedy challenge.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And Mary, me, and Violet's outfits turn out to be revealing. It's not a reveal outfit.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, my reveal was so clunky and labored because it wasn't a reveal outfit.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, it was unfair.

[Jasmine Masters]

Anyways, so here's what I'll tell you that I remember. I remember my group doing their thing. I don't remember anything about doing this. This is what I remember about Shakespeare because, again, I didn't get to watch you guys. So your trauma is not my trauma. Your T is valid. Your. Your. Your T is valid. I remember Pearl walking in. I think our group went first.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Pearl walked in after hers, and I go, how was it? And she takes off her wig, and she goes, I'm lip syncing. She goes, I know I am. I know I am. And I went, no. Like, there's no way you guys were that bad. I remember thinking, there's no way you guys were that bad. And then when I watched it, why don't you tell me what it was like doing it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So here's the thing about scripted challenges. I think in general, and in this case in particular especially, they are Rotten, performed by, let's say, Jane Krakowski couldn't make this funny. Do you know what I mean? Like, Tina Fey couldn't make this funny. Like, it's just not funny. It's bad.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. Charlie Hides could make it funny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Like, nobody could make this. Meg Stalter couldn't even with this material, she could. She would ad lib.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what I mean? So it's just bad. So there's that plus the fact that we're not good actors. None of us. And Kennedy is a horrible team leader. We don't. We just go off on our own to, like.

[Jasmine Masters]

Excuse me. First there's two parts, and then they switch it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They switch?

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, because Violet is going to play. And Kennedy turns to Violet and says, I need you to be more ghetto. I mean, this is. This is TV from a long time ago.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So. So what you saw, the awkwardness, the. The terror, it was worse. It was so much worse than what you see on television. Because, of course, this is over the course of like, 45 minutes.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And this is. It is a train wreck. I am mid to middling. Forgettable. I'm absolutely forgettable. But you know what I'm thinking? Thank God I'm not going home. Right? Because everybody sucks so bad. And I'm. I'm. I'm like, see? Like a level.

[Jasmine Masters]

But you're the best in the group.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I'm not. But forgettable.

[Jasmine Masters]

Like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, I mean, we are all bad. It's just varying shades of. It's from forgettable to preposterous.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, but that's how I was too. Like, in my group.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

I think Max and I believe it's Max and Ginger in love. Right? Max and Ginger are in love. And it's Romy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's Roman. It's Romeo and Juliet. They die. Yeah, whatever. And my note watching this was. I'm just not in it. Which means I either did nothing wrong and nothing good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mary. Same.

[Jasmine Masters]

I'm a set piece. I'm not even in it. Girl. I'm not even in it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think I maybe do one line and I die. It's. And I struggle to take off my skirt. They pan away from me. Yeah, it's bad. It's. It was like. It was very forgettable, but, girl, poor Jasmine. This was hard. This was like.

[Jasmine Masters]

Because it was just poor Jasmine.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It was like. It was never like asking a person to rock climb with no legs. Like, it was like, it's not gonna happen.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, they're. First of all, they're not funny lines. But second of all, they're written to pretend to be heightened language, which, syntax wise, is all mixed up. It's not a normal sentence.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. And also, it's not great. It's like they don't try to do iambic pentameter. Whatever the. It's like, it could have been more Shakespearean. Because even if Michelle explains the line, Laquisha, Kiana. And it still doesn't sound good. Correct.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know what I mean?

[Jasmine Masters]

No, totally.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So.

[Jasmine Masters]

And then in my group, you have Jaden, who hits a wall. She's messing up the words, and Jaden starts crying. And you guys, if you guys could meet Jaden, do her fears.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, she's the most lovely person in the world.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's one of the maybe last person you want to see cry, because she is suit, like, too nice.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

She is so sweet. And she starts crying, and I remember her going, I just want this so bad. And then Max, a good team leader, bends down because Max is 6ft taller than her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Max gets on her knees, gets eye level, and goes, it's okay. You're gonna get it. You're doing great. And then she does do great.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's fierce.

[Jasmine Masters]

Like, Max actually leads her to. To not be in the bottom.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He was so cunty in that episode.

[Jasmine Masters]

She. I mean, she really gets in there and helps her team. And on your team, there really was no shepherding.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Kennedy was like, go figure it out.

[Jasmine Masters]

And by the way, Kennedy can read the phone book and make it funny. Kennedy couldn't make that funny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nobody did any. No.

[Jasmine Masters]

I thought glasses on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I thought Pearl was amazing. Like, I. She was unintentionally hilarious.

[Jasmine Masters]

Her hitting her head.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She bumped in.

[Jasmine Masters]

Like, she bumped and then ducks and looks at it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cheerleader try. She was like, hey, cheerleader, tryouts happen today.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's just wild.

[Jasmine Masters]

And also, her outfit, like, I know she was supposed to be kind of like a knight female gym teacher, perhaps a little less. You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

I thought the suggested was that it was a. A lot of the drag race comedy challenges have one female character who's like, hey, you know. Yeah, the. The Leah DeLaria.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Of the skit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Jasmine Masters]

And I thought she was trying to do that, but really all there was was unibrow. I don't remember there's a unibrow.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She was like, hey. Oh, no. She went tragic. I thought she was funny, and I thought she was funny. I mean, it was bad, but at least it was funny bad. This. It was not comfortable. It was really, really bad to. To have to endure.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. Can we play a part of it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Here in Tuckahoe? It's a season of the witch, but none are as shady as lady Make Friends. Drag queens. Hunty men. I got something to say. Cheerleading tryouts are happening today.

[Jasmine Masters]

But. But Honestly, now, I love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think Pearl's great in this. I really do.

[Jasmine Masters]

Now, I love it. Like, it's not good, but it is good. And this is Jasmine. Watch out, sisters. I'm the real prima donna.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Head chilliot is going to be me. Laquisha Kiana. That's right, girl. Not on tonight. This is so not your gig. I'm Lady McBitch and you're a pig in a wig. Woof. Hey, hagwarts rejects, what's your prediction if I'm not here? Cheerleader is truly fan fiction. The spirits have spoken. I'm not even in it.

[Jasmine Masters]

No, no, I think you eventually. Oh, here's another Pearl part. We gotta just see Pearl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Your engines. May the best Tuckahoe win.

[Jasmine Masters]

Your reveal was just so bad. I looked like someone pantsed you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Clunky. Because it's not a reveal.

[Jasmine Masters]

The outfit underneath it is not better. Mary, it's just the outfit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not. Oh, sisters, I'm stressed. If I don't win, I may die. Try this. It'll help.

[Jasmine Masters]

That is really something.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have one shitty line that is so forgettable and then I drop dead.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Talk about disappearing.

[Jasmine Masters]

Let's see. World of charisma, uniqueness, talent and nerve. Two rival drag houses gonna get on. They swerve.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Damn.

[Jasmine Masters]

What do you do?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That did not sound like you at the beginning whatsoever.

[Jasmine Masters]

I don't think much of it sound like me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Damn. Wow, Loquisha.

[Jasmine Masters]

I mean, it's. It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Now, of course, it is edited to enhance the awkwardness. They. They include dead air. Do you know what I mean?

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, they include the dead air in the final edit, which, of course, you wouldn't be doing if you were trying to make it look as good as possible.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. Get yourself banished if you hang with this flu.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What did you say?

[Jasmine Masters]

Rupologize trolls. Calm down, Beyonce, or I'll clock those back.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Everything is so bad.

[Jasmine Masters]

Everything about this is bad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's bad. It is like, you know, RuPaul was like. She literally goes like this.

[Jasmine Masters]

Michelle. This is where Michelle says, cue the snipers.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

She wants you all to be shot.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. She's like, you're so bad, you should be dead. It's assassinated. It's just so badly assassinated.

[Jasmine Masters]

The set was, whatever. The script wasn't funny. And honestly, the Shakespeare rhythm of it made the jokes not, like, permissible to the ear. I didn't get it at all.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. And also, it's all delivered at a low. Like, it's done at. Like, there was no Rhythm there was just like. It just. It was just really fudgeing bad. It was really fudgeing bad. It was really fudgeing bad. And then it was. Thank God. I think that the success of this episode is that it was so bad. Otherwise, imagine if we just killed it. It would have been so fudgeing boring.

[Jasmine Masters]

Because it's really bad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because it would not have been funny.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's not funny now. I mean, it's really tough. It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you know what I mean though? Even if it was performed well, that material would not be funny.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, it's. It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There'd be no drama there. The episode would be flat as hell.

[Jasmine Masters]

Did you. Did you know. You knew you guys were in the bottom?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Without seeing ours.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was. I mean, RuPaul was saying in the seven years of doing. Said in the seven seasons of doing the show, I've never seen a car crash like this.

[Jasmine Masters]

I think it's the challenge.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She said more like that. She was like, this is the worst thing I've ever seen in my whole life as a. It was like. I was like, oh, my God. Not exactly encouraging words, but like Kennedy, for example.

[Jasmine Masters]

Kennedy excels anytime there's a character.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

So you're telling me that it's Kennedy's fault? This isn't funny. I don't believe it. You know?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, team leader.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's Ginger's fault. This isn't funny. Like team leader, I guess. Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cuz she lip sync. No leadership.

[Jasmine Masters]

Kennedy has to lip sync in this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Jasmine. Yeah, no leadership. And I think it was.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it's time also.

[Jasmine Masters]

I think that's unfair. I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, her bearded Runway was awful.

[Jasmine Masters]

Kennedy. Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was the worst beard of. Well, Jasmine and her had the.

[Jasmine Masters]

To be honest, I think we'll get. We're gonna get to the runways. Can we go to the runways?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so this was like, again, this is all edited. This was 45 minutes of this.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I. My heart broke for Jasmine because it was painful.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like she just couldn't get it. And trying like 10, 12 times.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And like when you can't get it, you. I don't know if you have ever experienced that.

[Jasmine Masters]

We're like, oh, it gets worse.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It gets worse. You need to take a break.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you need to take 50, 15 minutes or something.

[Jasmine Masters]

I think any creative person will tell you sometimes just taking a lap, you come back and you can do it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, absolutely. I will go outside, have a cigarette and then like take a beat. And then you can just kind of start again. Yes, it's. That was not. You were on the spot.

[Jasmine Masters]

Smoking was a huge part of season seven of Drag Race, so I came.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Into Drag Race a nonsmoker. I had to quit for a year and a half, immediately started smoking because of the stress.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, Ginger can throw him back.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, at the time it was Ginger. I went out with her the probably the second day. I was like, Mary, I got to do this. And thank God, because me, Pearl and Ginger became friends that way. This episode is sponsored by zocdoc. If you're like me and were also deep in rural New Mexico on a summer llama riding retreat when a rogue alpaca named Cinnamon nibbled your aura so intensely you forgot time space in your dermatologist's name and location. You probably forgot to make a doctor's appointment about that weird rash on your shoulder. It happens to the best of us. Whether it's a routine dentist appointment, a full body mri, or the appointment with a neurologist about doing spontaneous jazz hands every time you use the microwave. Why not stop putting things off and book that appointment today? Zocdoc makes it easy to find the right doctor right now. And it's all online. If you don't already know, zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. You'll probably be able to book an appointment right before the end of this ad. Listen, if you're depending upon weird health trends from your social media feeds, you should likely stop the raw zebra milk lattes, the garlic clove sinus treatments, and especially the perineum tanning. Instead, give the algorithm a rest and go see an actual healthcare professional. ZocDoc has over 100,000 doctors from literally any specialty from mental health to oral surgery to butt stuff. And most importantly, ZocDoc helps you find doctors who are highly rated by real life verified patients. You can even see their real time appointment openings. Choose a time that works for you and instantly book a visit with just a few clicks. Same day appointments are also available in many cases, which is perfect for busy alpaca enthusiasts like me. The best part is that ZocDoc is completely free to use. You can search and compare highly rated in network doctors with ease, which is why I love zocdoc. Zocdoc helped me find the best doctor in my area and book them fast. The rash on my shoulder is quickly receding, which is great for my August pool party. Schedule. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of Zocdoc. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com bald to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com bald Zocdoc.com bald this episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Squarespace. Let me tell you a little story about my neighborhood Deborah. She's always been, well, let's just say, a tad peculiar. She once invited me over to have coffee and see her five vintage Pennsylvania Dutch butter churns. She swears her sourdough starter sings to her from the fridge. And late last week, Deborah showed up to my door to let me know that she had discovered her true calling. Bespoke artisan muffins. But not normal muffins. Oh, no, these are conceptual muffins. Her first creation was Muffin of Regret, a rye and prosciutto scone that tastes like a divorce. Or the existential blueberry, which collapses under its own weight of expectations. And guess what? In just a few short weeks, Deborah has become a business tycoon.

[Jasmine Masters]

How?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All thanks to Squarespace. She took advantage of their new design intelligence, which is like AI, but with taste and judgment. She built a stunning website that looks like a pastry monk coated it during a spiritual awakening. It's tailored to her specific sort of muffin chaos. And now she's shipping lemon despair cakes worldwide. Squarespace payments. It's so easy, it's suspicious. Klarna, Apple Pay Ach, Direct Debit. Debra started taking payments within minutes. She linked her socials, TikTok, Instagram, even her Vimeo account where she reviews muffins while crying. And it's all fully integrated. She invoices cafes, she sells access to her premium blog, Crumbs of Consciousness. And now she's rolling in dough. And not the sour kind. So if you've got a dream, a scheme, or a Simmon blood orange muffin that screams when it cools, head to squarespace.com and build your edible empire. Design intelligence, seamless payments, SEO glory. That's the recipe for success. Take it from Debra. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by Audible. There's something absolutely magical about a Los Angeles sunset. The sky's on fire, the air smells like sunscreen, and sin. And if you're one of my neighbors, you can likely hear me being spiritually and erotically transformed by Audible Romance. Look, I used to think love was dead. Then I met an English viscount, a billionaire from Monaco, a sword wielding warrior from an alien planet, and an Olympic gymnast with a penchant for a very specific type of ring, all in one afternoon. With Audible's Romance collection, you don't have to choose between steam, sweetness, or fantastical sorcery. You get it all. Whether you want Regency yearning, big city spice, or a romantic moment that makes your eyeballs sweat, Audible has a book boyfriend for every version of you. I just finished Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros. And honestly, if dragons are wrong, I don't want to be right. From authors like Lily Chu, Ali Hazelwood, Sarah J. Maas, and the Bridgertonian gods themselves, you're getting love stories so delicious they should be illegal in several states. So go ahead, fall in love again and again. All from the comfort of your car, couch or bathtub. Get Audible Romance and satisfy every one of your narrative cravings, even the beautifully weird ones. Because when the sun goes down in la, the clothes come off and the audiobooks turn filthy. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com bald. I wish I was shocked with this Runway because the bearded Runway I remembered being better. Whoa. It is a dog show for the most part.

[Jasmine Masters]

Let's get into it. I think there are some strong ones. I love pearls. The red beard was so super creative.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also on the fly. She came up with that the morning.

[Jasmine Masters]

She came that morning and cut the little red pieces up and glued it on her face that day. She had no bearded Runway planned.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also we had. We had. Was the cat denning to Melby. Yeah, Mel. Now this is something. I'm pretty and I've said this a million times. I know, but I. I will always cherish hearing this from Mel B. To Violet. Your hair and your beard, they're just ugly. I ate. They didn't like her.

[Jasmine Masters]

I loved Violet's Runway.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I thought it was exquisite.

[Jasmine Masters]

But Violet had this really cool, like, going to homecoming.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was a Dior, like classic 50s cool, gorgeous.

[Jasmine Masters]

And I loved her beard. She looked so pretty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mel B. Was not eating any of it.

[Jasmine Masters]

I don't think Violet misses on the Runway this whole season. Not once.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't think so. What was the previous one? What was the where's your glamazonian one?

[Jasmine Masters]

Oh, it was the bodysuit with the suitcase with bullets.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, okay.

[Jasmine Masters]

I guess I didn't like that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That was. That was her Miss.

[Jasmine Masters]

It also looked like French fries.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It did, yeah. It was not a good one.

[Jasmine Masters]

Looked like French fries. Yeah, I wish it was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That'd be fierce.

[Jasmine Masters]

I don't turn up for guns, but I turn up for French fries.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I have again. Ruse Fucking hair and makeup. Literal perfection.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, it's very impressive. What a great outfit to scream at the girls.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I don't know about the, the, the. The. The cape and the, the green.

[Jasmine Masters]

The parachuting fabric. I kind of like it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was interesting. It wasn't a huge win for me, but that top mean the white braid. The ponytail is so fierce.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She screamed at us.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. So before we get to the screaming, I also want to talk about your Runway was Abraham Lincoln.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I thought I killed that. I thought I killed it. I mean, it could have been. It would. It would have been nice if it was a ladies jacket and a little more shape. But Mel B. Said, you're literal perfection to me.

[Jasmine Masters]

I liked it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I thought it was, like, clever concept. Yeah. I had a Mary. I had a concept.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, you killed it. Half of the John Wilkes Booth killed it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Half of the people just went in a shitty gown in a bad beard.

[Jasmine Masters]

That really disturbed me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I have. I take super mega umbrage with gingers. I couldn't believe how ugly her dress was. It was a shitty corset with not even. Not singed with nasty plastic giant kids stones.

[Jasmine Masters]

Awful ugly gal with the beard. You know what it gives the. This is me pride performance.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I don't even know what that is.

[Jasmine Masters]

The bearded queen from Greatest Showman. The girls love to do that for pride. I hated that. Who else did I hate really bad? Oh, I loved Ms. Fames, the harlequin.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

See, I actually. So this is.

[Jasmine Masters]

I hate red wave. I hated it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I loved it.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I thought it was a. I thought it was one of her real. I hated it for some reason. Well, I love that we'd have different opinions, but no.

[Jasmine Masters]

Can I tell you, one of the things I've realized watching this as a viewer is what makes Drag Race fun is that people. You sit at a table, you all watch it. Everybody can have completely different opinions.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I know. It's kind. I love it.

[Jasmine Masters]

But not in a way where people scream at each other. No, it's just like. Really? You like that? Okay. Ugly, you know?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. But the, the big, like. I mean, do you remember, like, the dress that's going to cure aids. That's going to Solve hunger.

[Jasmine Masters]

This is just being like, I'm about to let RuPaul see the best dress that's ever been worn on the stage of RuPaul's Drag Race.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it was.

[Jasmine Masters]

And then it was a nice dress.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was a dress. It kept building. She kept talking about she's actually, I wouldn't be surprised if I get saved because of this dress. I wouldn't be surprised if I cure A's because of this dress. I was like, no, it was wild.

[Jasmine Masters]

The thing is, if she had just worn it, they would have been like, this is a really nice dress. But she treated it like. Well, it's the Hope diamond.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It would. Yeah, it's princess. The revenge dress with the Hope diamond, plus the Shroud of Turin.

[Jasmine Masters]

Not to mention it also, Jasmine. Love you. But the charcoal eyeshadow on the face instead of hair.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm 37 years old. I know my skin. This was a tough moment for me to listen to on the. On the Runway. She that. Her explanation for her underperformance with the. It was so tough to listen to. She's like, I'm not putting nothing on my. Like, I was like, oh, shit. It's like, you're on Drag Race.

[Jasmine Masters]

See, I, to this point, have never been up for critiques, so I've never heard any of this. I'm only an untucked.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So you have never had your feet hurt like that?

[Jasmine Masters]

Not until I go home.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God, Mary. I'm telling you, up. And at this point, I have only worn super fucking uncomfortable shoes. I'm talking bordello pleasers and giant stilette, like, five inch heels. So hammer time on the feet.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it takes. I was shocked at how little they should.

[Jasmine Masters]

Nine to ten hours to do a critique.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Seriously, every judge gets about five minutes.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. For each person.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Each person. And in the edit, Mary, the edit they get, we get about 45 seconds max. Maybe 30 seconds.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, seriously. But if it's RuPaul and four judges, RuPaul says nothing. RuPaul says nothing. And it goes one by one, and they each take five minutes. And then if there's six of you, that's five minutes times five is 25 times six is hours. It's a year in untucked for hours and some more. The group even comes back.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, and sometimes you go back to, like, if it's lunch, like, you know, you break for lunch, then you come back for the rest of the critiques. The critiques are interminable.

[Jasmine Masters]

Sometimes you've broke. You're breaking for Lunch. And you're not allowed to speak. So you're in your drag outfit eating lunch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And.

[Jasmine Masters]

And you can't even debrief on who's going home. You're just sitting, eating.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Quiet. And if you speak, you are silenced.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. When we went back For All Stars 2, in the second episode, RuPaul Let us take off our shoes if we were not on camera. And that was like. It's such a game changer. It was such a game changer. It was. It's torture. It's torture.

[Jasmine Masters]

But if you want to take your shoes off, you do have to pull out your. And that's something that is non negotiable. That's a rule that I added on All Stars 3. I said, everyone, take out your cock. It be your.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's time.

[Jasmine Masters]

Bring it to the room. And the room.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so let's go down the runways. I know this is going to be bored for people just listening in their cars, but.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, what's that? What's. What's the. The rose and the thorn. I loved pearls.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I thought, Max looks sensational.

[Jasmine Masters]

Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sensational. So cool.

[Jasmine Masters]

Max is in this sword fighting. What do you call that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Swashbuckler.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. Good thing with a beard that I is. It's a mustache.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like doll, like, kind of like a crazy dolly mustache.

[Jasmine Masters]

And the eyeshadow is just black shadow and a circle on the eye. So, so cool. Max really eats the girls.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The only thing, though, at this point which I, you know, still to this day, I, I. Let's not do bits on the Runway.

[Jasmine Masters]

Let's pantomime.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's just walk the Runway like fashion models. I know I can't do it, but I can try. I know. I was like, let's stop. Let's just walk. Let's walk. Turn and walk.

[Jasmine Masters]

You didn't like the gun when you, when you blew your brain out?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. I'm like, why do. It's understood.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We know what happened to him.

[Jasmine Masters]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, he didn't kill himself. Doesn't make no sense.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's a good point. You should have asked me to come out and shoot you. And I would have, probably with a real gun.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Imagine if I had orchestrated Ellen the pa.

[Jasmine Masters]

I'd be like, can you gun me down?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love.

[Jasmine Masters]

Love.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And she takes, like, hucks a tomato at my face. No, but I just walk.

[Jasmine Masters]

Just to see that walk. Right. Did you like my Jesus? Not really, sadly. I think it was one of my better looks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was. It. I. I really love that. It was There was a point of view.

[Jasmine Masters]

At least it was a story.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There was a story. It wasn't just like, here's my shittiest dress in the grossest beard.

[Jasmine Masters]

How did you come up with Abraham Lincoln?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Abraham Lincoln?

[Jasmine Masters]

Is that how you thought of it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I was like, what? Who has a beard?

[Jasmine Masters]

Abraham Lincoln.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was gonna do that was. I was gonna do a sexy Santa. I was like that.

[Jasmine Masters]

No, I actually would have loved that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nobody did sexy Santa, though. I was shocked. I would have read that velvet cunty gown. Are you kidding me? With a sack. Like a jeweled sack or something.

[Jasmine Masters]

And it would have stood out in a good way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, but I was worried that everybody was gonna do that.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm not kidding. I was like, sexy.

[Jasmine Masters]

I'm surprised that was the only biblical figure, to be honest.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

There'd be another Jesus.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was a startling lack of imagination in that Runway.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because me. You. Me, you, Max Pearl. Just maybe a few.

[Jasmine Masters]

I have a trauma memory of this gold gown I had on for that because the zipper broke. Amazon. And while in drag before the Runway, I installed a white zipper. And then once I zipped it up, took the gold spray can, and sprayed the zipper gold.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's fierce.

[Jasmine Masters]

But it was in the full. In the beard with the Jesus.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A lot of hair. It was a lot of hair.

[Jasmine Masters]

It was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Candy Ho's look was insane. She.

[Jasmine Masters]

How did she have the cube on her head?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She had a cube, a yaki cube, and then a Fu Manchu. Long, long, long. It was very strange and interesting.

[Jasmine Masters]

I liked it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I kind of liked it too. But I'm, like, wondering if it borders on yellow face. I'm not sure, because it was kind of. They did. They straight up said Fu Manchu or whatever. And I'm like, guys, she's Latin, right? I don't know.

[Jasmine Masters]

She's Puerto Rican.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's. Yeah. I thought she looked cool, though.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think really, Kennedy's beard was just.

[Jasmine Masters]

Just awful in the short wig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also, it was like pupilina Ginger Kennedy. Unforgivable. Bad runways.

[Jasmine Masters]

My other memory of this is when we had to stop break for lunch, eating lunch with that beard on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Beard. I know.

[Jasmine Masters]

I had to take hair clips and clip the beard away from my face and try to eat, like, I don't know, some tofu chicken, like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. How was the food, you remember? I thought it was adequate.

[Jasmine Masters]

I just remember Kennedy walking around, and she would look at the food and say, this food nasty. And then she would say that she went to Boston Market, but we got it. We Got it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it was those.

[Jasmine Masters]

Nobody tells you that if you go to Drag Race, just say that you won't eat it, and they'll get you whatever you want.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I remember her spiel. I'm 37 years old. I don't glue a on my face. My skin. I know. My skin. Or whatever. Whatever. And then RuPaul would not have it. She start. She really yelled at us, and it was scary.

[Jasmine Masters]

We got to play the clip. It was really. The clipper. Should I play it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was actually scary.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, we're going to play a clip of RuPaul screaming at you, and I'm sure this is just a clip of it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, FYI, for all you girls up there, I don't want to hear any goddamn excuses. Be prepared. We didn't have time to be rehearsed. Making it work. Make it work. Make it happen. I don't want to hear any goddamn excuses anymore. And then when she, like, it was chilling.

[Jasmine Masters]

What do you think about that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think it's.

[Jasmine Masters]

Can I be honest?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I agree with her.

[Jasmine Masters]

Can I be honest?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. There's not enough time.

[Jasmine Masters]

We're being asked to do so much in such a small amount of time. What do you want, Mary?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When. When we get. We haven't got to tan with you. Did we do tam with you?

[Jasmine Masters]

No, it's next.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That day was ridiculous.

[Jasmine Masters]

Ridiculous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was asking too fucking much. We had to come up with, a.

[Jasmine Masters]

Couple hours later, you're recording it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We had to rewrite a song. We had to record the fucking lyrics. We had to drag. We had to develop with ourselves choreography and then learn it and then get in drag. Then get in drag. And it was like, in one day, I was like, fuck out of here.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, it was too much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was like, fuck out of here. You are setting us up for failure. And surely enough, they all suck.

[Jasmine Masters]

But obviously, what it seems like I was not on the main stage with you guys. What it seems like is RuPaul is saying that you guys kind of reflect. This is my show. The quality of my show matters to me, and you guys did not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, then why don't you hire a union writer, bitch?

[Jasmine Masters]

I feel like she was saying that you guys didn't meet, like, the base level.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of course I agree with her. I think she's got a point. I also think it's just too short of time. It's too short a time. And also, Mama, come up with some fierce lines, and we'll try to. We'll learn those.

[Jasmine Masters]

And also, it's hard on Drag Race. To one, like, a sewing thing. And someone goes, it looks unfinished. You want to look right at him and go, I started it this morning.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

No, I sewed it this morning.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know how, like, you know, actual outfits take to, like.

[Jasmine Masters]

Takes me days. When I was sewing for myself, I would take one day to just cut fabric, and then the next day I would sew.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Like, and then maybe the last day, I'd do finishing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, you could do. I mean, literally, one day you could be, like, sketching. Like, sketching, sketching, sketching. Design, design, cutting. The next day, you do construction, and then you do, like, alterations.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Three days.

[Jasmine Masters]

It was tough. So I have very little while.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Talking about cancer and your dead mom and fighting with the girls and doing your makeup and.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah. So I remember the bottom being Jasmine, which I guess I knew.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, the beard. It was. She gave up. Up.

[Jasmine Masters]

And. Yeah. And Kennedy, which was sad because they were instant friends.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

They had never met till Drag Race, but they were, like, glued at the hip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. They became.

[Jasmine Masters]

Which they do become glued at the hip during the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hello.

[Jasmine Masters]

I forgot about that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Loved that challenge.

[Jasmine Masters]

And it was hard to watch them lip sync. The song is Kylie Minogue. I was gonna cancel a complete bop. I love that song. Go, go. When I saw Kylie and Sydney, I hope she would sing it. And she didn't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She didn't know because it's not really. It's one of her. Not one of her hits.

[Jasmine Masters]

What's your favorite Kylie Minogue song?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's Two Hearts.

[Jasmine Masters]

Two Hearts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The lyrics really make no sense, but it's such a cunty song. I love it.

[Jasmine Masters]

Do you know the one?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of course.

[Jasmine Masters]

That.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I also love the. What is it?

[Jasmine Masters]

I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's got a bunch of good ones. The Locomotion, the Out of My Way.

[Jasmine Masters]

Get out of my Way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

I love her. Yeah, it's. It's. I remember when I saw her in Sydney, she said she's like, I'll lock to travel. And, you know, she's bogan. All of a sudden, she was like. I think I said. And trying. Is Mike in a stop in Sydney, The Locomotion. And people lost their.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Because she was like, this is my first single.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

That's a cover. And she's saying it, and people loved it. Five foot in a whisper, boyfriend.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She is tiny.

[Jasmine Masters]

Teeny tiny. So this is when we say goodbye to Jasmine. I'm so bummed about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It was a bittersweet. It was a tough lip sync because I kn. Kennedy wasn't going anywhere.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. As we saw. She gave up with the beard.

[Jasmine Masters]

I did, like, that move that Jasmine does where she crouches, jumps.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's the. The KIC thing.

[Jasmine Masters]

The leg.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The kic. It's their knees.

[Jasmine Masters]

The knees.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The knees. Also the. Oh, I just. The train of thought. Just the. What was. I. I just lost.

[Jasmine Masters]

I'm sorry.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it was a good thing, too. Oh, Laganja. Don't throw it. Don't throw it away at the end.

[Jasmine Masters]

Don't throw it away at the end.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That was. That was the.

[Jasmine Masters]

Don't throw it away at the end.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It away at the end. And, like, it's like. I don't know. I just.

[Jasmine Masters]

The bearded. To be honest, the energy. The energy being there was that. She gave up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She gave up. She started packing.

[Jasmine Masters]

She. Oh, I forgot about that. She started. Started packing the morning of elimination.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, she. And she literally just hang it up. She hung it up. Which was so tough. Like, selfishly, because I wanted her to be there.

[Jasmine Masters]

I like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So fun. And it sucked when she left.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's weird to. For some of us who've auditioned some people seven times at that point. Yeah, it's weird to get there and pack up and be willing to go on the third episode.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know.

[Jasmine Masters]

You know, and also, like, two people have gone home who wouldn't have packed early. They would have fought to the end. And so that was kind of hard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then we left with, like, a big void, a huge energy left with a bunch of drips left in that work room.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, that's kind of. Honestly, one of the things I remember the most about season seven was a big vacant. I didn't feel like I had a bestie. No, I don't think I. I. Not even you. We. I mean, at this point, you have never seen you and I talk on camera.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

At this point, me and Ginger are probably pretty close. Me, Ginger, and then smoking.

[Jasmine Masters]

The.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Smoking that. Mama, you need to smoke on Drag Race. That's my. If any girls out there, you get on Drag Race, you need to smoke them cigarettes. Get the X Program. Hold on.

[Jasmine Masters]

Hey, girl. And me sitting in and all the fun people are smoking. And I'm sitting next to Violet on a couch going, so, where are you from?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, like, no girl. And like, she's like, don't talk. Especially all stars. Me, Detox, and Roxy cutting up out there.

[Jasmine Masters]

We would.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We're the odd trio. None of us would hang out together, really, but we just. It's all wonder. It's wonderful. It's a Wonderful unifying activity that you should not do the X program. The X program.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, you could go outside and blow bubbles.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. It's like, also, why. Why do smokers get to smoke?

[Jasmine Masters]

Can I say, that was one of my issues when we stayed at the lovely Beverly Garland Hotel was, I don't smoke. Why don't I get to leave my room? Go, go. So I started. I started putting a note under there that said, I need a smoke break. And I just go outside because I'd be like, can I breathe?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, do it. Do candy cigarettes. I'm not joking.

[Jasmine Masters]

Candy Ho.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What about that name?

[Jasmine Masters]

What about Candy? You know what? You know, I like about it? It's straightforward.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Candy Hoe.

[Jasmine Masters]

Candy Ho.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She has a weird, weird, weird bite that I can't. I should have put down verbatim. It's like, I'm so sweet. I'm gonna get in your mouth and you're gonna taste house. I was like, what? So fierce.

[Jasmine Masters]

She also. I think at this point, she has said, right on my alley.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. And then. That's the thing. It's like. It's like sequin stress. That's a sequence stress moment.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's sweet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's endearing when someone says the wrong thing without knowing it. It's sweet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And also, like, if maybe they are.

[Jasmine Masters]

English is their first language. Yeah. So Candy was from Puerto Rico, which I didn't. I did a cruise after Drag Race that lifted off in Puerto Rico. I didn't realize how far away it was. I didn't realize how remote it was. And only after Drag Race did I realize that Candy came from so much further away than any of us.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Spoiler alert. When Candy does go home, when there's a part where we all come back. Candy stayed in her hotel room for, I think, two weeks, waiting to come back on Drag Race because they were like, we're not flying you back to Puerto Rico.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God.

[Jasmine Masters]

Whereas I got to go home to Wisconsin for a week.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's, like, unethical.

[Jasmine Masters]

I went out to dinner. I had sex with my boyfriend. Like, I was chilling.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's shitty.

[Jasmine Masters]

I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sorry. That's like. There's some stuff. We don't really need to get into it. But, like, it's like the. The. The. The. The baggage fees on the way home, I was like, y' all are really cheap. Sorry.

[Jasmine Masters]

So I just didn't have the money.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I didn't either. I did not either. It's like.

[Jasmine Masters]

But I just. To be fair, I'd complain about it now, I'd be like, 400, Mama.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

But I would have known to complain about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They wouldn't. It would not have been a shock. Yeah, yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's a little like on a normal season when you want to go pee, they say 10, one.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

On an All Star season, you're like, is somebody gonna take me to pee? The entitlement. These girls come back real thin with huge lips, and they start bossing PAs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Around, divas, torturing those PAs. I. We didn't talk about the PAs. Katie and Ellen.

[Jasmine Masters]

Katie and Ellen. I'm sure they're not listening.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, they're not listening, but they're probably.

[Jasmine Masters]

Happy they don't have to hear us anymore.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're probably working for a real fierce company. Katie and Ellen were such angels, and they. And Miss Fame terrorized them. She did miss with Motormouth Maybell. She could never. She would never shut up.

[Jasmine Masters]

Do you also remember that Miss Fame was absolutely the last one to get ready every single time? She was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She was. She and Max were.

[Jasmine Masters]

Max were always. And then on All Stars, it was Shangela. It was really to the to the hilt every day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was Alyssa. She was like, baby, get that shoe. Get that shoe. Get that shoe.

[Jasmine Masters]

Like, it was cameraman.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Alyssa has, like, three assistants, like, on the road, and nobody was. I mean, to her credit, she was electrifyingly entertaining, but, you know, so funny. Fame. The. It. The. The. How many episodes of not getting the how's your head Joke? How many?

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, that's coming because it hasn't started yet, but that. That comes. It's the next few episodes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you think it's like, what do you think? You think that's a very.

[Jasmine Masters]

I would. I didn't know it, Mary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I didn't either.

[Jasmine Masters]

I didn't know it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I didn't either. I had. I've seen Elvira. Mr. I've seen the movie, but it was, like, 15 years ago.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, I mean, it's also about age. Like, I heard that. I hear things. I heard that some of these, like, young drag queens don't know who share is. And RuPaul, imagine telling RuPaul, you don't know who share is. Do you just get slapped? I know RuPaul just takes you outside, lays you down in the parking lot, and backs over you a few times.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, so you want to learn about parallel parking? Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

Blaring turn back time. I just runs the kids over.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So you need to change a tire.

[Jasmine Masters]

Yeah, but RuPaul is also twice these people's Age. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And extremely culturally literate.

[Jasmine Masters]

Paul loves from older than what she is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, she's very culturally literate. She's extremely pop culturally literate.

[Jasmine Masters]

So RuPaul was like, she's Rain man with music. RuPaul's like, georgeous. You don't know Marlena Dietrich.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. You don't know Easton's B side from 87. Like, what is wrong with you? Like, come on. You know, can I tell it to my heart?

[Jasmine Masters]

Tell it to my heart.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, who the knows that song? Taylor Dane.

[Jasmine Masters]

I don't think Taylor Dane knows it either. She's. I bet when Taylor Dana is a concert, she's like, tell it to.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't know Samantha Fox.

[Jasmine Masters]

She said tell it to my. My car, baby. I don't know the words my background singers.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's gonna be a very, very, very.

[Jasmine Masters]

Hot well shout out to pouring out for Jasmine. Jasmine, who is a working drag queen. I mean, I have this graphic saved on my phone if you want to know what type of girl Jasmine is. The year after Drag Race she hosted a 41st birthday for herself where she just invited any fans and she was in drag at Olive Garden and she got a big table and any fans that showed up could eat with her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A. That is a queen of a queen.

[Jasmine Masters]

She's a real. She's so fun. I will text her. She always responds to me. I'll send. I'll call her. I love that. And over the years when I've invited her to do things, she's open for me. When I. If I'm doing like a skit, she'll come be in the video. She's just very cool. But she will be stoned.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, that's fine. The amount of times do you. Is she. You know, she has probably makes up at least 45 of my go to. If I want to kill myself. I put this YouTube video on to like flip the script in my brain. The amount of times I've looked at. I've turned on Guadalupe McGill, the. The cucumber dicks, the. And I. You know, everything.

[Jasmine Masters]

You don't taste that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That in your mouth. It's like so often that she. I probably owe her a lot of money. You know what I mean? It's. She's a fantastic.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, thank you guys for the third episode. Let us know how this is going.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And too late cuz we were doing an exc three episodes in.

[Jasmine Masters]

Next week we have episode four.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh God. Oh yeah. I want a tan tan. Oh. When miss Fame says I'm going to touch your I want to kill myself.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's wild. I had a lot of. Let's talk about it next week.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I had.

[Jasmine Masters]

I watched it to get ready.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Jasmine Masters]

It's just crazy to watch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It is crazy.

[Jasmine Masters]

Everything about watching this is crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

See these? I thought we did. I thought, comparatively. We kind of slayed the other. The other ones were rotten.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, next week is going to be. I, I, I, I spoof.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There it is.

[Jasmine Masters]

Can I be honest? I. I love season seven as a cast. I'm waiting for a challenge I like. I know we're in episode three now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not going to happen until Conjoined twins, honestly. Yeah, it's Snatch Game. Well, Snatch Game is great for a good. Because Pearl is so funny. Pearl and Kennedy are amazing.

[Jasmine Masters]

Kennedy is amazing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then that's, you know.

[Jasmine Masters]

Well, you're gonna have to lead the ones because I'm. I'm gone for a while, so you're gonna have to really lead it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have to show up to work.

[Jasmine Masters]

Because the episodes that are coming, I'm watching it, not in it, which my only knowledge of it is the show.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right, right, right. Oh, good.

[Jasmine Masters]

So you're gonna have to come home.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Have to try.

[Jasmine Masters]

You're gonna have to drive the bus.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Jasmine Masters]

All right. By.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sam.