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Monet X Change
You can get the most important meal of the day any time of day. I'm Talking about the $5 big deal breakfast meal from Jack in the Box, available all day and all night. A breakfast Jack with a freshly cracked egg, a hash brown, and French toast sticks for five bucks. Sounds good for breakfast, lunch and dinner at Jack. Every bite's a big deal. Order Jack's five dollar Big Deal breakfast meal now. This episode is brought to you by Allstate. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate First. Like, you know, to check the date of the big game first before you accidentally buy tickets on your 20th wedding anniversary and have to spend the next 20 years of your marriage making up for it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hi, divas. As you know, Tritzee is on break, so I'm solo here on the podcast to tell you that we are bringing you more Bald and the Beautiful live shows this fall. That's right. We're going to be in Baltimore, Providence, Columbus, and a whole bunch of other east coast cities that I don't have on the script in front of me. But all tickets and info will be@trixian katyalive.com so get your panties in. Check for the best damn podcast you've ever seen. Okay, welcome back to another riveting episode of the Bald and the Beautiful. I'm bald and she's beautiful. Please welcome Sapphira Christal.
Bob the Drag Queen
Hello. Hello. Hello. How are you?
Monet X Change
Oh, blue.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm in blue. Yes.
Monet X Change
Oh, that makes sense. And I'm like, white and red, white.
Bob the Drag Queen
Red and white, red and white. We're America or France or Russia or Thailand.
Monet X Change
Why is that? That's got to be the most. I wonder if. Is it the most Britain? Yes. Is it the most frequent Australia combination? Yeah, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Don't say no.
Monet X Change
But I'm. But I'm just in flags. Like just solid black colors.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah, probably so. Red, white and blue is probably the most good combination.
Monet X Change
Russia in France, blue, white and red is France. Bleu, blanc, rouge. And then I forget what Russian.
Bob the Drag Queen
You could say however you want. It's still red, white and blue.
Monet X Change
Thank you. This body bleeds red, red, white and.
Bob the Drag Queen
Blue, baby, every day.
Monet X Change
Blue lives matter.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you know that? The blood is blue inside? And then when it comes oxygenated, and then when you first open it's white.
Monet X Change
Open. What?
Bob the Drag Queen
You know, like, if you cut somebody to the white meat. You ever heard of that?
Monet X Change
Cut them to the white meat.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know, you cut them to the white meat show. You heard of that? Yeah.
Monet X Change
Cut them to the white meat show.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Maybe it's a black thing.
Monet X Change
I don't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or an ethnic thing.
Monet X Change
Does ethnic mean black?
Bob the Drag Queen
You know, apparently. No. No, it means not white, which I would think that you wouldn't think that because all people are some ethnicity, but white people have decided that ethnic means not white. Yeah, there's white and ethnic.
Monet X Change
There's like white or Hispanic and non. Hispanic.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
That I don't understand. That's ethnicity, right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Yeah.
Monet X Change
All these questions, like the census, the questionnaires, like, would you like to. Would you like to share your information about yourself? It's always race and ethnicities. Like, and then.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't want to share.
Monet X Change
Yeah, I don't like.
Bob the Drag Queen
Nah. I don't identify any of these things about me.
Monet X Change
There is a. There's this dude who wrote a book called White, I think, and talking about, like, the white as the regular and everything else, like you just said, is ethnic. Yeah, but, like, it's so wild.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's interesting to me because I think that it's. The regular is actually black because the original was black. So why all of a sudden is white? The regular. The OG is black? We've already decided.
Monet X Change
Well, I think because Santa Claus is white, Jesus is white, and Ariel is white. That's why people think it's regular.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're all. Well, I guess Jesus wasn't necessarily.
Monet X Change
No, he was.
Bob the Drag Queen
Who knows?
Monet X Change
He was like. He looked Swedish even though he lived in the Middle East. You know, I.
Bob the Drag Queen
Isn't it?
Monet X Change
Well, I still think about the. Ariel must be white. The Ariel, the mermaid. That whole online course or the controversy that, to me is so fascinating.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I think that, you know, when people are so used to seeing a white girl and they go, well, that's who she is. She's a white girl.
Monet X Change
She wasn't a girl. She was a mermaid.
Bob the Drag Queen
She was a mermaid with a cartoon. With. With a. With a fish.
Monet X Change
Well, no, she didn't have. Come on, let's not get crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
She had a fish.
Monet X Change
No, no, no. We're talking about not. No, that's. She didn't have no fish pussy.
Bob the Drag Queen
You think she didn't have a fish pussy?
Monet X Change
I never saw it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, he saw her from the Prince, saw her from the thing and said, ooh, I want to get in.
Monet X Change
I want that white fish pussy.
Bob the Drag Queen
I want to get in that white fist pussy baby. If there's anything I want. Is that white fish squishy hoodie.
Monet X Change
Would you. Would you give up your voice to have a mermaid tail?
Bob the Drag Queen
Hell, no.
Monet X Change
Would you give up your voice to have legs if you had.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, if I gave up my voice to have a mermaid tail, then I have to give up my dick.
Monet X Change
No, no, no. You got white. You got. Sorry. Blackfish dick and blackfish P. Not to get both. Black snake.
Bob the Drag Queen
Do I get both?
Monet X Change
Absolutely. But you gotta give up the voice.
Bob the Drag Queen
To give up my voice, though. No, I like my voice.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's so much fun.
Monet X Change
What if you had. You could speak, but the sound that people heard was like Danny DeVito or like, you know, Meghan McCain or something. It wasn't your voice. Somebody else's voice. No, no. Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, I'd stay me.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
I love being me. It's something I always say to people. Like, I really love being me.
Monet X Change
It's cunty.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's really cunty. And it's kind of one of those things that kind of pisses people off.
Monet X Change
But self esteem is a real divisive issue these days.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's really crazy.
Monet X Change
You know, Be your own best friend. That's what I always say.
Bob the Drag Queen
You. Well, nobody can love you the way you can. You have to be the first one.
Monet X Change
It's true.
Bob the Drag Queen
If anyone else is going to, you gotta be the first one because. Well.
Monet X Change
Right. I was thinking about this because, you know that thing that RuPaul always says, because if you don't love yourself, then you don't know how you want to be loved. So how can you accept love?
Bob the Drag Queen
And you have to teach people how to treat you.
Monet X Change
Yeah, that's. We have to guide their hand while they're jerking you off.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes. Yeah, typically, I. I usually guide their face, but, you know, do you do.
Monet X Change
Like, jerk off instruction?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, I don't like it when people touch me.
Monet X Change
Oh, interesting.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. I prefer to just insert myself and do all the work myself.
Monet X Change
That's what you got. You've got your. I feel like this is a very blue collar.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's no collar.
Monet X Change
No, I know, but it's like a.
Bob the Drag Queen
You're here to work, I'm here to work. That's right, baby. I'm gonna work that.
Monet X Change
Okay. Let me try to be focused for once in my life, because I really wanna talk about fucking. I really wanna talk about your season of Drag Race. And I guess I didn't realize. I'm a little ashamed to say I didn't realize up until today that I.
Bob the Drag Queen
Was on the show.
Monet X Change
No, I thought. I had no idea. No. The. The level of drag in general, of course, has gone up insanely. But the level of drag on your season in particular is mind blowing.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
It's mind boggling. It's mind bending.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was. It was. It was airbending.
Monet X Change
Hello. It's cash.
Bob the Drag Queen
Headache depleting.
Monet X Change
Yeah, it's savings depleting.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe gone.
Monet X Change
Mortgage. Reverse mortgage. Foreclosure inducing. Like, what the fuck? Where do y'all get these outfits? Where? Wow.
Bob the Drag Queen
And the question is, where are you gonna wear it afterwards?
Monet X Change
Well, that is. That's. That's why they need to do a rent the Runway for Drag Drag Race. You know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, you wanna win, and unfortunately, the girls come so hard every single season, and, you know, they do it and you have to step it up every season. You can't go and, you know, wear, what's her name, Fashion Nova anymore.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Do you think that. Do you.
Bob the Drag Queen
But apparently you can.
Monet X Change
I was gonna say, in your opinion, do you think it is even remotely possible for someone to walk into Drag Race regular season with a wardrobe, with a very modest. And I'm talking, let's just say, boo boo. Like a boo boo wardrobe and get, like to have any success mostly based on their talent?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
Monet X Change
You think it? Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
If they are exceptionally talented.
Monet X Change
So funny.
Bob the Drag Queen
They've got to be so super fun. They got to be able to surpass all that.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And there are girls who can do that. Unfortunately, you also need to be able to at least. So you know what I mean? Like, you could. You could come in with a. With a modest. Because I saw girls even who weren't really great in sewing, but they had a great run. They had a great Runway. But unfortunately, that. That one challenge gets the girls every single time.
Monet X Change
Yeah, I can sew pretty well. I sewed one of the most horrible things ever seen on Drag Race, then went home because of it. So, like, you know, it all depends. But I mean, I just think it's a little bit. I mean, for the viewer. God, it's like a feast for the eyes, like the Met Gala every episode. Yeah, but for the. For the wannabe contender or the future contestant. What the fuck? Who do you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Some girls take out loans. It is what it is.
Monet X Change
Where? How?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know. I didn't do that. You had to save my money. I mean, I was a successful drag queen before I was a drag race.
Monet X Change
Yeah, that's what I mean. I want to talk a lot about that because we've known Each other. We have known each other for a long time. And I knew you way before you're on the show, before I was successful, before you're on the show. And we worked together at Jacques Cabaret. Do you remember how long we worked together?
Bob the Drag Queen
We worked together for about three or four years. Yeah. And we knew each other from. For, like, the couple years before that. No, I think I met you when I met. When I got there, so. And I. I started working there fairly soon after I moved to Boston.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Yeah. So good.
Bob the Drag Queen
When you have talent, you just got it.
Monet X Change
See, that's the thing, because we didn't have a lot looking back when at the days of Jacques Cabaret, we did not have. I. I won't speak for you, but I'll speak for myself. I did not have amazing costumes. They were all trash, girl. All the wigs were ratty. They were all hard front.
Bob the Drag Queen
It was back before this. This thing. I mean, we would get from Rainbow and Tellos. Tellos wet seal. Dorothy's.
Monet X Change
Dorothy's stolen. Boosted, Lifted, Gifted. Donated.
Bob the Drag Queen
Donated from Nordstrom Rack.
Monet X Change
Yeah, I mean, it's like the. I was looking at pictures, and there's a great picture thing about you, though, is that you always looked good. Your face card was always there. And there's a picture of us where it's got to be 10 years ago. I look 45 and you look 25.
Bob the Drag Queen
Cause I was 20.
Monet X Change
I know, because you were 20 something. And I look, like, so old, so haggard. And we both have crunchy wigs and just, like stretch dresses.
Bob the Drag Queen
Is it the stretch?
Monet X Change
Your face cart is just.
Bob the Drag Queen
Thank you. It was funny because I remember Chris Knievel would always say, I watch you paint and you put so much makeup on. And, like, I would, like, I would beat my face in these, like. Like just so much powder and everything. And she goes. And then I turn around and you look beautiful. And I just. I don't understand how you do that.
Monet X Change
Welcome to Monet Talks with me, your.
Bob the Drag Queen
Girl, Monet X Change, a weekly podcast where the only thing hotter than the tea is our topic.
Monet X Change
Dwarling. Every single Thursday, we'll be bringing you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Candid interviews, fun segments and games featuring a dazzling array of guests, including fellow queens, other celebrities, pop culture icons, friends, and maybe even an ex boyfriend. Aufua.
Monet X Change
You want to hear something horrible?
Bob the Drag Queen
Tell me.
Monet X Change
I was outed. Outed?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Say their name.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think I found sobriety through my fans. That's beautiful, bitch. I love those little whores.
Monet X Change
I'm normally not this nasty.
Bob the Drag Queen
I bring it out of everyone. That's the tea. To watch the podcast in studio, see exclusive content, and get a glimpse of.
Monet X Change
What goes on behind the scenes, head.
Bob the Drag Queen
Over to YouTube.com onicial and tell all.
Monet X Change
Your friends you can listen to Monet.
Bob the Drag Queen
Talks completely free on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or anywhere else you get your podcast, period. Hey, everybody. My name is Bob the Drag Queen. And I'm Monet X Change, and we are the host of Sibling Rivalry. This is the podcast where two best friends gab, talk smack, and have a lot of fun with our black queer selves. Yeah, for sure. And you know, we are family, so we talk about everything, honey, from why we don't like hugs to black Lives Matter to interracial dating, to other things.
Monet X Change
Right, Bob?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes. And it gets messy and we are not afraid to be wrong. So please join us over here at Civic Bribery, available anywhere you get your podcast, you can listen and subscribe for free. For free, honey.
Monet X Change
I mean, do you remember m. Did you ever see Misery paint in.
Bob the Drag Queen
In a split second, Mama. She would come on to one of my favorite stories. I remember one time, Misery came into the room. The show had already started. Oh, absolutely, absolutely. She came into the room. No makeup, nothing on. She sat down. One person went on. I went on. I came back. She was ready to go on stage. That is less than 10 minutes that she was in full drag. And not just her face.
Monet X Change
No, no, no.
Bob the Drag Queen
The whole outfit.
Monet X Change
Panty pads, pantyhose, fishnets, shaper costume, hair, boots. She usually had nails already or something.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Always an earring.
Bob the Drag Queen
Always an earring.
Monet X Change
Definitely. Always an earring.
Bob the Drag Queen
Glued on.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Super glue. Ouch. Yikes. Bus driver wig, though.
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not that one.
Monet X Change
Oh, sometimes, right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Sometimes she would do the thing to snatch up and because she had.
Monet X Change
That's right.
Bob the Drag Queen
She would braid her hair.
Monet X Change
And she had the br. She had braids. And then she would do the Kennedy like Kenny D. Does the giant Texas dancing hair.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah.
Monet X Change
With like five ponytails, all teased, sewed together and teased out.
Bob the Drag Queen
I.
Monet X Change
People need to realize what you just said. We're going to say it again. So, Misery, the show would start at 10:25. The overture would go on. Overture is five minutes. Misery's still not there.
Bob the Drag Queen
Still not there.
Monet X Change
10:30, Chris goes out for the monologue. She's still not there. As Chris is finishing up the monologue in getting ready to bring on the first entertainer. Misery's still not there.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. She walks in as the first entertainer.
Monet X Change
First entertainer goes on for a six minute number. Misery is, like you said, not in drag.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think the Time that I got.
Monet X Change
There's not a drag.
Bob the Drag Queen
The time I got there, it wasn't even a six minute number.
Monet X Change
It was me having four minutes.
Bob the Drag Queen
It could be like a four minute number.
Monet X Change
She like. I mean, she just bust through the back door in like this cloud of dust. Because that backstage. Yeah, that backstage is horrible. And she just. It's. She knows exactly what to do. Yeah. And she wears a lot of makeup.
Bob the Drag Queen
A lot.
Monet X Change
So she'd have a. She would do a big eyebrow. She would do a black crease, usually blended out with purple. And then like, like maybe a shimmer highlight.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
And then. But the funny thing about Misery is that over the course of the evening.
Bob the Drag Queen
It would get better.
Monet X Change
She would add more makeup. So like by the third number, she had a glitter lid. She had a lot of lashes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Shimmer on the face, honey. She looked like im.
Monet X Change
It went from, like, it went, I.
Bob the Drag Queen
Mean, from Grace Jones to Iman.
Monet X Change
Yeah, exactly. I mean, it was so. To me, that was this most stressful thing to witness. But also it was like kind of inspiring.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's inspiring and it gives you like, sort of like, oh, this is not that hard. No, we think way too hard about this thing.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I remember when Fina would always ask me to come and do the show downstairs. It would be probably last minute and I would get there right before the show started. Cause I was like, oh, I didn't know this was happening until just now. And I. She. My favorite thing about Fina, she'd go, you're first.
Monet X Change
You're kidding.
Bob the Drag Queen
You're first.
Monet X Change
Punishment.
Bob the Drag Queen
So I would go, punishment for what?
Monet X Change
Being late.
Bob the Drag Queen
I wasn't late.
Monet X Change
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry, I misunderstood. I thought you. For some reason in my mind, you were like, she booked you last minute. You show up. Like I showed up last minute because.
Bob the Drag Queen
She booked me last minute.
Monet X Change
Okay, okay, okay. So wait, your first is a good thing?
Bob the Drag Queen
No. Okay. She's like, you're first, girl. Just because I'm first. And I'm like, okay, I guess I gotta put this face on. But the face was always there. And I did that Whitney Houston number every single time and it popped every single time. I feel like that was sort of like the boot. What do they call it? Not boot.
Monet X Change
Oh, I know what you mean.
Bob the Drag Queen
The school. Like not school. Boot.
Monet X Change
Hard knocks? No, the boot camp. Boot camp.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's like boot camp of drag for me. Like being in Boston. Honestly, if they didn't really try and give girls opportunities the way that they do right now, like the way that the girls Are really, like, when they were younger. The younger girls are really able to do many shows in Boston right now.
Monet X Change
Really?
Bob the Drag Queen
I went there, and I was like, oh, these are all kids.
Monet X Change
Really?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. It's not a lot of, like, the old school girls. Like, it used to be like, when I was in Boston, it was like, if you thought you were going to work at Jocks Mama, like, check that.
Monet X Change
Pull out the license. Are you under 55? Get the hell out of here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Get out of here.
Monet X Change
Like, you're right. It was like, you want it? Like, mama, get in line. Melinda Wilson's 175 years old, and she ain't going nowhere. No. Crystal Crawford, 672. Not going anywhere. Misery. Age undetermined.
Bob the Drag Queen
No one will know.
Monet X Change
And Chris Knievel again, aarp. Not really. Not really. But it was. I think I was always the youngest one there at, like, 35.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, no, you were definitely the youngest one there.
Monet X Change
If looking 45.
Bob the Drag Queen
You and. And you and Fina, Destiny and I.
Monet X Change
Are the same age. Destiny might be a. Like, one month older or something. Yeah. Not a lot of young blood in that show. Ooh, baby.
Bob the Drag Queen
Especially. Especially the Saturday. The Friday. Saturday.
Monet X Change
Oh, honey. Yeah. Although it. That doesn't nest. That didn't necessarily mean it was a bad show.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, it was great show.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's the reason why they didn't let the young blood in there, because they had a. They. It seemed like they had this sort.
Monet X Change
Of, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, y'all don't know what you're doing yet. You're not here yet. Well, you're not professional. Like, you're young. You're still learning. And. And luckily, at some point, I think you. You definitely gave me more chances than anyone. And, like, you haven't had me in perestroika. And then I think eventually Fina was like, yeah, you should come and do this show. Your. Your Whitney is really great. And, you know, we did a lot of impersonations in this show, and so it was just like, eventually someone, you know, there was a. Someone saw it for me.
Monet X Change
But so now that you've basically gone on record saying that I gave you all your success or that I am the one responsible for you getting on Drag Race and succeeding so much, what do you think is a. What are you gonna do for me?
Bob the Drag Queen
Did I say that? I feel like I didn't say that. Just kidding.
Monet X Change
Just kidding.
Bob the Drag Queen
But, you know, I could think of some things to do for you. We could go on a walk.
Monet X Change
We could get nice Lunch.
Bob the Drag Queen
We can give a. I'll take you to lunch. Sure. You want to go to Ruth Chris.
Monet X Change
Ruth Chris Steakhouse. Wait a minute. Ruth's Chris? What the fuck is that?
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know. What is a Chris?
Monet X Change
Why is Ruth have a Chris? And what's up with Ruth's Chris is. How's that better than any other normal Chris, I think.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wait, if you're owned by someone named.
Monet X Change
Ruth, it's like, is that Chris? Is that. Oh, yeah, that's Ruth's Chris. He's got the steakhouse.
Bob the Drag Queen
He's got the steakhouse.
Monet X Change
It's the weirdest thing ever.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. We can go to roots.
Monet X Change
Back to. Back to. Back to steakhouse. Back to Drag race. Erected Jacques rather so. Yeah. And also Narelle Gardner. She gave me my spot. She just like you were talking about. She gave me my little, like, Chance in the Crystal. The bartender. Tortellini Cristo.
Bob the Drag Queen
Really? That's what I call her because her name is. They're like, no, no, I don't know.
Monet X Change
What you're talking about.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, my God.
Monet X Change
Love her. But she was like a very Jacques, always. Jacques was a strange vortex where it was kind of like a bizarro world where they were like, all like. Oh, my God. It was just such a bizarre place.
Bob the Drag Queen
I went back.
Monet X Change
You did?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh. So, like, every time I go to Boston, I like.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know, I walk. You know, I go to, you know, get some oysters, because that's what I like to do. And we end up going to jocks every time. And every single time, it's just like. It is this, like. But it's still the same.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's wild to go to a place that is the exact same. Same tinsel on the curtain, same tinsel on the curtains. I think they took all the pictures down, though.
Monet X Change
Oh, really?
Bob the Drag Queen
All the old pictures of the girls, those are all gone.
Monet X Change
I couldn't. I didn't even know. It's just like. It's a very. I mean, obviously, for me and you, it's. It's such a very particular place. And it's. It's like, cheers from hell.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
You know what I mean? It's like, oh, I went there.
Bob the Drag Queen
They were, like, so dark. I know you, right? And I was like, it's me, Sapphira.
Monet X Change
Oh, hey, girl.
Bob the Drag Queen
Good to see you. Yeah. And it's like, sometimes I'm like, well, I am significantly larger than I was when I lived in Boston. And so, like, I was probably around 150, and I'm about 100 pounds more. I weigh 250 pounds now.
Monet X Change
Fierce.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's just like, they see me. And someone has also said, oh, you've. There's a lot more of you today.
Monet X Change
No way. I love that shit.
Bob the Drag Queen
A lot more to that. Okay.
Monet X Change
What is the. My friend who's Chinese says, claims or says that in. You know, like, for a lot of Chinese families, it's not. They don't have the same relationship to, like, commenting about weight that American culture does. They're like, oh, hey, so you got fat. You got really fat like that. That kind of thing is like, not. Doesn't have the same. How dare you. Like that.
Bob the Drag Queen
We would have here in my. I can be wrong. My dad's half Thai and half Mexican.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And my mom's black. And we. My. I grew up with a very much like that kind of. You're getting fat, so you should do something about it.
Monet X Change
Do, like, poke your belly and stuff.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's just something I always grew up with. And so, like, coming into the world where people don't do that.
Monet X Change
Yeah. They like. They're like.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're like, oh, how dare you talk about my weight? And. Or. Why are you talking about your weight so much? I was like, I don't know. I just. I don't know. It's just something I grew up with. I'm. I'm bigger than I was once, and now, you know, I'm fine with it. I still get laid just as much as I did, if not more.
Monet X Change
I was gonna say probably more. Especially with Ruth's Chris hanging around.
Bob the Drag Queen
Baby Ruth's Chr is always hanging up on this. On this hanger steak.
Monet X Change
Shout out to Ruth's Chris, the. Probably the best Chris in the game.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, Chris Knievel is pretty great, but.
Monet X Change
That'S Chris with a K. That is Chris with a K. Very important distinction that you might not. We have to make on the podcast. If you're listening, Ruth's Chris is a ch.
Bob the Drag Queen
Chris Ch.
Monet X Change
Chris Knievel is the K. Chris.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's. But Chris is a Chris.
Monet X Change
If you're listening, I'm sorry, I'm not going to. Yes, Andrew on that one. Not going to. Yes, Andrew on that one. I draw a line in the sand.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's a. There's a Ch and there's a K.
Monet X Change
Yeah, we don't want.
Bob the Drag Queen
We don't want too many Ks.
Monet X Change
No, we don't. We don't want that. You know, in fact, when. On one of the challenges when I was on Drag Race, I wanted to call my thing Kotch's. Crisis Control with 3Ks. It took me a very long time to realize that the Ku Klux Klan is also kkk. Too long. A little too long.
Bob the Drag Queen
It took you too long to do that? Not too long. Instead of Boston.
Monet X Change
Yeah, Boston's still racist as ever, guys.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, yeah. Didn't change.
Monet X Change
Philadelphia is a close second in terms of racism nationally, I would say.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know, because Philadelphia actually has more black people per capita. It's actually. It's 40%.
Monet X Change
They let them live in the city, unlike Boston.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, they actually are all in the city, and white people live around.
Monet X Change
Oh, fierce. Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, there's, like. I think there's 40. There's more black people than any other people in Philadelphia.
Monet X Change
Okay. I love Philadelphia.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I love Philadelphia. Philadelphia is just a place full of real ass bitches. You know what I mean? That's kind of why I stayed there. I have lived there for so long. It's just full of people who just get it. They don't care to pretend like things are different than they are. They just are. Like, yeah, we like this. And if you. The thing. One of the things that my ex. My ex fiance used to say is if the difference between New York and Philadelphia is that in New York, they'll talk shit.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
In Philly, they'll punch you in the face.
Monet X Change
Fierce.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, they don't have time for the talking part.
Monet X Change
Yeah, they got to get to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse. They're hungry.
Bob the Drag Queen
Gonna get to Tony Luke's, honey. And they gotta get those. Those cheesesteaks.
Monet X Change
Cheesesteaks. I don't. That's the thing. I don't love the cheesesteak.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't. Well, you got the wrong one. So this is the thing. Oh. So if you don't want cheese, you don't have to get it.
Monet X Change
Okay. But you get a cheese stick without the cheese, you just get a steak.
Bob the Drag Queen
A steak sandwich. Nah. I'm Louie, AKA the baddest Pera. And I'm Yoazi.
Monet X Change
And we're siblings. We might not be the most intelligent.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or the smartest or inteligentes.
Monet X Change
You just said that. Oh, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
But at least we're pretty.
Monet X Change
You may have seen our viral challenge videos, Mexican food, mukbangs, and family vlogs.
Bob the Drag Queen
But did you know we're also the.
Monet X Change
Hosts of the podcast Pretty Not Smart? On our show, we expose all the.
Bob the Drag Queen
Chisme in our lives, from our wildest.
Monet X Change
Dating stories to childhood feuds to our scary ghost stories. But don't worry, it's not all drama.
Bob the Drag Queen
All the Time we discuss financial hardship.
Monet X Change
The importance of taking care of your.
Bob the Drag Queen
Mental health, and our experiences dealing with complicated family relationships. Because we're siblings, we know each other better than anyone, which means we also know how to beef with each other like it's nobody's business. Who doesn't love listening in on a little sibling conflict? We've also had some amazing guests join the show, like YouTubers Adam Rae and.
Monet X Change
Laura Maillado and so many more.
Bob the Drag Queen
At the end of the day, I'm.
Monet X Change
Happy to be the pretty one and Yoatsi, the smart one. No, it's definitely the other way around.
Bob the Drag Queen
And who told you that lie? Us, the audience. So if you want to hear the juicy perspectives of two pretty siblings, tune.
Monet X Change
Into pretty, not smart, Available wherever you get your podcasts back to Jacques, but I don't think people know enough about Jacques for them to care. But.
Bob the Drag Queen
So, I mean, we could go back to us. I know we've known each other forever.
Monet X Change
So what year. What year do you reckon would be the first time performed in my monthly. Okay. 2010.
Bob the Drag Queen
2010 is the first time we show. I remember you came into the back of jocks. I was performing in Sunday dinner show with Raquel Blake. Raquel Blake. Yes. And you came back, and I thought, oh, my God, it's so cute. And you were in full drag. I was like, I'm like one of these people who, like, really? I.
Monet X Change
Are you some kind of non binary gender queer?
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, yes.
Monet X Change
Well, yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
But I just saw you in drag and I was like, oh, my God. And this is before I was like, even I could be like, oh. I was like, under that makeup, he's really cute. Like, I could. I was into it. And then we just became friends. I remember we hung out with me, you and Becca. We went out to get some.
Monet X Change
Did we get hot pot?
Bob the Drag Queen
Hot pot. It was like, hot pot or some noodles somewhere. Yeah, somewhere in Chinatown. And that's when we first, like, started hanging out. And then. Then eventually I was in Becca's show at Cherry. Cherry.
Monet X Change
That's right.
Bob the Drag Queen
And before. And then when Becca left, she left it to me. And she gave.
Monet X Change
When Becca was deported. Excuse your mouth. When they took my friend from me.
Bob the Drag Queen
When they took your power from me.
Monet X Change
They took our baby away.
Bob the Drag Queen
They took her away.
Monet X Change
They did.
Bob the Drag Queen
She was deported.
Monet X Change
She did not leave.
Bob the Drag Queen
No, she didn't leave her.
Monet X Change
She was taken in the night.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't think it was at the night.
Monet X Change
It was during.
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
Just because you know you're gonna die doesn't make the death any less sweet. You Know what I mean? Like, it was. That was.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that was real rough.
Monet X Change
That sucked.
Bob the Drag Queen
It really did.
Monet X Change
She wasn't. Our friend who was a Singaporean, was not able to find employment after being let go from her job. Thus her visa was in jeopardy, and she was not able to. She was deported.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's sad because, you know, she really was.
Monet X Change
It's like my best friend. I don't like that. That term seems so high schooly.
Bob the Drag Queen
But, like, yeah, she was really sickening and just a sickening person. Just like, really awesome. Sweet, generous, wonderful, genuine, intelligent and stupid.
Monet X Change
Smart and stupid.
Bob the Drag Queen
How you gonna be both that?
Monet X Change
Ask Becca.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's what I'm saying.
Monet X Change
Hello.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's sickening.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Big, fat as a house and just loves it. Everyone not loves it, but she's just, like, unapologetically fat. Yeah. She's like, move, I'm fat.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, she definitely did love it. She definitely love it.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Took space.
Monet X Change
She did. And then they took our big baby away from us.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. That was very sad time.
Monet X Change
I was very not happy about that.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Anyways, it can also. Not just anywhere. To Singapore.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. I mean, she's still like, no, she's.
Monet X Change
Doing the damn thing there, too, but she's not here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
You know. Anyways, so. So Drag Race. You looked amazing all the time. And I think I'm trying to. Trying to just, like, think of what if my favorite look of yours was. I mean, first of all, I'm like, how many. The five suitcase rule cannot be still in effect with all those outfits.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know nothing about that.
Monet X Change
Okay, moving on. We had a five suitcase rule. £50 each. That's all you could bring. I mean, there's no way that that's still the case.
Bob the Drag Queen
I mean, there were rules, really.
Monet X Change
Like, you couldn't shoot anybody.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. Like, I just. You know, honestly, I am Mary Poppins, and I had one little bag that I brought with me, and I just shoved so many big things into that little bag. Kind of like what you do on a Friday night, Friday morning, afternoon.
Monet X Change
So, I mean, and you have to do all this yourself. There's no assistance fluttering around when you're all getting into drag. You're gluing the lace down, you're gluing the nails on. You're. You're fixing everything yourself. You're. I mean.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I mean, we have the PAs.
Monet X Change
You know, they don't do nothing.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're not skilled at it, but they helped.
Monet X Change
They do Alyssa because she asked. Alyssa's like, baby, get the shoe. Baby, get the Shoe, you know, but they. Do they help you really?
Bob the Drag Queen
No. I mean, they're like, hey, zip me up.
Monet X Change
But that's about it, right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Hey, yeah, that's about it. I mean, it's real fun.
Monet X Change
Who took the longest to get into Dragon? Who would be the or, and who would be the misery?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm the misery. No, actually, me and Morphine were the misery in the sense that we were done with our faces first.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
That's what I mean.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because. And we would all, like, be done. We'd just be like, morphine. That face takes her 20 minutes.
Monet X Change
Oh, wow.
Bob the Drag Queen
20 minutes.
Monet X Change
20 minutes.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's from.
Monet X Change
From no makeup to Runway ready.
Bob the Drag Queen
20 minutes. She'd be like, boop. Hey, girls.
Monet X Change
No way. For real?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. It was sickening. I loved it.
Monet X Change
I mean, if you know what to do, you know, you just have the stuff out, you know where it goes. Just put it there. Yeah, right.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
I mean, that was like, misery station. It was disgusting, of course, all the dust in there. But, like, she had all her maron black and a colorful pancake station.
Bob the Drag Queen
Wasn't even disgusting.
Monet X Change
No, no, no. Yeah. No, that's great.
Bob the Drag Queen
But you, like, you. You do it so fast.
Monet X Change
I. I like to. I don't like the feeling of.
Bob the Drag Queen
She wasn't rushing.
Monet X Change
Oh, that's so fierce.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's just like, how she does her makeup. She's like.
Monet X Change
It's not. It just. It's like putting on your pants. Like, putting on your.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then you look over and you're like, you're done.
Monet X Change
Wow.
Bob the Drag Queen
So. Oh, yeah.
Monet X Change
Damn. Other girls, like. Like, girls. On my season, a lot of the girls took a long time to get ready, and it did not end up looking like they spent. You know what I mean? It's like all that for that, you know, Beautiful, but, like, not a lot of stuff going on.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. And I think the thing about morphine and even misery is the big shapes don't take that long.
Monet X Change
That's. That's what it is. I mean, it is about broad strokes in theatrical, impactful makeup.
Bob the Drag Queen
When you're this close to Morphine, you're.
Monet X Change
Like, damn, that's great. Yeah. Misery. I've gotta say, I have to say, sometimes she went out on stage and she went on. On stage, and she might have said that she was ready, but she was not ready.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, you know what I mean?
Monet X Change
You know, but, like, it's. It was like a bravado thing with her. She was a very like. Or she is not dead, but, like, it's a very macho.
Bob the Drag Queen
She's got that Latina, like.
Monet X Change
She's like, I'll show you what's up. You're very confident.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, and. And the entire audience was like, yes.
Monet X Change
They believe it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
Monet X Change
That bus driver is going to take me to church. Yeah, we're buckled up. I was transfixed the first time I saw Miss Me Too. I was on I'll Never Forget. I'll Never Forget. I was back to the wall, back standing up. Packed Friday night crowd. She was doing her Lose control mix and just. She went around and she gave me these weird eyes, and I was like, oh, my God. That's the most amazing person in the world.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, Crazy Misery is. She was my blueprint for a while.
Monet X Change
It's the best. It's one of the best drag names ever. Misery. With a Z.
Bob the Drag Queen
With a Z.
Monet X Change
Get out of here.
Bob the Drag Queen
Get. Get in here.
Monet X Change
Out. Yeah, get in here. It's C, right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Misery. It's such a good name.
Bob the Drag Queen
And then. And. And then when you meet her, you're like, oh, yeah.
Monet X Change
Yep.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Mystery is what happens when you meet her.
Bob the Drag Queen
Actually. Straight up mystery. She's like, known, brother.
Monet X Change
She's like, I know. It's like. I was like, what's your last. Hey, Misery, what's your. What's your real name? I don't know. You're like, what's your last name? I don't know.
Bob the Drag Queen
How old are you?
Monet X Change
How old are you?
Bob the Drag Queen
25.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Yeah. What do you. What do you think? Do you have a Social Security card? No. Yes. No, it was just so, like, she, like. She really, like, turned up the fog machine to 11 into, like, in terms of, like, you know, in terms of her, like, real identity. It's. Cunt.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's really cute. Anyways, I. Yeah, I'm gonna. Let's stay over here on that one.
Monet X Change
All right. Okay. So what's your. What was your least favorite outfit that you were on? Drag Race. If you had to rank yourself, what do you thought did it was anything? Did you like watching it back on the. On the television?
Bob the Drag Queen
You were like, well, I haven't watched it since it's. It aired.
Monet X Change
Really?
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
Right. Was it hard to watch yourself, or did you love it?
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, during the season. Loved it. I mean, I slayed, so it's like, not hard to watch yourself slay the whole time, but. And I say that with, you know, with the most humility. No, no, no. It's just a fact of life. You know, when you're blessed and you. And you really do something, you should be proud of what you've Done.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I think that, like, more people should be proud of achieving greatness.
Monet X Change
Yeah. If you do something good, recognize it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Recognize it so that you can do it again. You know what I mean? But, you know, after the outcome, I just. I've come to a point that I probably will watch it soon because I've, like, gotten over it. I had an entire, you know, I toured my own one woman show this summer, and it went really, really well.
Monet X Change
Did you love it?
Bob the Drag Queen
I loved it. And, you know, I got to a point, I was like, okay, I think I can go back and watch this whole thing again. Because the whole time I thought, I'm about to win.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, I. You know, having known you and remembering your season, I thought, okay, the goal is to make it far.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Yeah, you right.
Bob the Drag Queen
The goal is not to win. No, it's not what I'm trying to do here.
Monet X Change
It's not pass fail. It's not pass fail. It's not pass. It's not gold or nothing. It's like, that's not the case.
Bob the Drag Queen
But at some point during the show, I was realizing, oh, shit. Oh, I am slaying. I am eating these girls up.
Monet X Change
And also, I would assume when you're on the show, the vibe you get from the judges and from Ru can often be invisible to the audience because it's. It's just. You weren't there. It's not in the edit. It's not a. It's a feeling you can't. That might not come across in the edit or whatever. And it's so. It's strange.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm also a little blind to some certain things like that, like.
Monet X Change
What do you mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, I live in a reality and not in feelings every single time.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And so, like, there were times that I thought I was not doing well. One of the ones was when I drank my potion. I didn't think I was doing well. And they were like, why did you do that? Like, what was that for? That was stupid. And like, if you saw the face that that TS made when I did it, she was like.
Monet X Change
Not the board words.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not the boar worms.
Monet X Change
Oh.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was like, what? Her titties said, not the potion. I was like, oh, shit, maybe I shouldn't have done it. And then they said, are you sure? I said, yep.
Monet X Change
My God, girl.
Bob the Drag Queen
You stupid bitch. But it was because I was having a moment. I had only had one. One hour of sleep. And after making all that stuff, and I made it, and I just was stressing out all night long. And I said, well, you know, What? You don't have to stress out. You have an out. Take it. Okay, go sit back. I don't feel like hearing nobody's mouth. Yeah, I don't feel like hearing people talk about me today. And then I saw Law Roach was on the thing, and I said, what's not gonna happen on this day is I'm not about to get the dog shit read out of me on this goddamn stage by Law Roach right now. For some people, that is an honor. For me, I was not.
Monet X Change
No, thank you.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was not there for that. And then the funny thing is, he comes in the back, and I said, okay, what do you have to say about me? And he goes, you're pussy. You're just a woman. You are so gorgeous. And I was like, well, like, I.
Monet X Change
Could see your labia from here, right? Are you even wearing panties, you slut?
Bob the Drag Queen
And I was like, God damn it, you stupid bitch. But, hey, listen, so, you know, I. It wasn't because I. I mean, I even. I was like, I have this feeling like, that's why I stopped going based off of feelings.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Because feelings will make dumb ass fucking decisions.
Monet X Change
Feelings are not facts. I know there's a lot in between that and the finale, but I just want to talk about. I want to. I don't think I like drag. I don't like lip sync. Competition performance, as in two drag queens on the same stage performing the same song against each other. I don't think it yields a great result or I don't like it. I just realized that today. I don't like it.
Bob the Drag Queen
Why?
Monet X Change
Because. So, for example, you could have. You could have two different. So when you did the Beyonce one, you started off very. You were very slow, very confident. I mean, it was, like, oozing, like. Like, oozing confidence. And your body seemed to say, like, just get off the stage, you white. There's like, let me do this.
Bob the Drag Queen
Let me do my song.
Monet X Change
You know, let me just. Why are you on the stage right now? Get off. And. And it's like, no, just no disrespect to other performer, because often on Drag Race, you have, like, you know, a song that is suited much more to somebody else than. But I just. When I was watching you and Nymphia perform for the live crowd, I was like, I love. I love this, but I. I don't want them to do it together. Yeah, you're not performing together. No, it's not a duet. It's not a duet. It's an adversarial lip sync performance that I Hate.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Like. And I don't know, I just.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's difficult because the real thing is, how do you convey what you're trying to. One of the things that people constantly ask me about is the vampire teeth.
Monet X Change
Oh, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
They're like, I don't get the vampire teeth.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't get it. Can someone explain me? Do you have vampire teeth? And I was like, okay. I didn't think it was this hard, but there's only one person, there's only one being I know who can hear people's heartbeats, and it's vampires. Like, literally, it's their thing. I can hear your heart. I can hear your pulse. I can tell when you're afraid. I can tell when you're horny.
Monet X Change
Oh, so you. You knew it was going to be Padam. Padam, yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Okay. I mean, of course we knew you had to prepare the song.
Monet X Change
Oh, I didn't. Sometimes you don't. That's not necessarily a given.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, they said, we've given you the song to prepare.
Monet X Change
But I mean, like, in a. Like a lip sync, like. Oh, that's right. The day of.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that's right.
Monet X Change
They never just like. But don't they do sometimes, like during that live finale, like, it could be one of these three, and then you get this one.
Bob the Drag Queen
It hasn't been that in a while.
Monet X Change
It hasn't been. That's probably since Sasha Velour maybe. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
When they used to do that. When they used to.
Monet X Change
Yeah, yeah. Open the box or whatever.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that was. That was bad.
Monet X Change
I know. I mean, I was just watching you and Nymphia and I'm like, you guys are so incredible. And I was like, they could be doing this together. It's. I don't know, it just. It was like. It was like. It was so much good stuff happening. But, like, as a fight. I don't like that format. Just personally.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
I don't like a lip sync fight unless you're actually gonna. You know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
It's also really difficult to. To determine, like, where am I supposed to look?
Monet X Change
And also, where's the. Where's your costume drop? And, like, then it's a hazard on.
Bob the Drag Queen
Stage for the other person.
Monet X Change
Absolutely. Then it has. Then it pulls focus from you as an entertainer. You have to worry about all these other things that are. Yes, they're incredible. Reveals happening, balloons and shit, wigs flying off. But they're also littering the stage and inhibiting movement and stuff like, things like that. I just hate.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I hate that shit. That's you know, I think that's just like one of those things when it comes to this competition. Yeah, it is what it is.
Monet X Change
It is what it is.
Bob the Drag Queen
And I like. I. I mean, the lip sync Lalaparuza that they had the. The. The week before.
Monet X Change
Wait, wait, hold on. Just. Just to clarify, I loved the Put on. Put on lip sync, by the way.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh.
Monet X Change
Just because I don't like the format. I loved it. You both looked incredible.
Bob the Drag Queen
Thank you.
Monet X Change
I love that. I love that song. And you both had great reveals. Not. Not like the. The Jiffy Pop Aquaria. Like, like, you know what I mean? Like, this is just like, you know, they were. You look. They looked good on their own before. They were something else. Yeah, you guys, it was wonderful. Wonderful. But go ahead.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sorry. I love the. The one before the Lollaparoosa, because it was kind of more of a battle battle. Like.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sort of felt like more of a. What do you call those things? Battle Royale.
Monet X Change
Okay, sure, sure.
Bob the Drag Queen
And you get to see people who really have something. And I don't know, I feel like at the end, they didn't do that for. For the All Stars. I. I noticed the girls weren't on the same stage.
Monet X Change
I know, but we didn't have a flat. I don't think we had a finale.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not yours, Sorry. Oh, this most recent one. It didn't look like it. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know.
Monet X Change
Oh, my God, there's. Wait, what is the most Recent All Stars? 9.
Bob the Drag Queen
Angeria.
Monet X Change
Angeria. Yeah, that's right. Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And if you look at it, it looked like they were all. Because they showed them in different.
Monet X Change
That's what I like. Yeah, that's what I like. That's. Yes, that's what I wish they would do. I loved that format. Actually. They cut between them. They each performed solo and they cut in between to feature each one. I thought that was cunt.
Bob the Drag Queen
Did you?
Monet X Change
I loved that.
Bob the Drag Queen
I like that because then you. I get formal.
Monet X Change
You cut the whole stage. It's your stage. You don't have to.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't mind it. I mean, it's the format of the flagship show. So, like, I enjoyed it. I don't mind that. I didn't. I mean, I Wish I had $200,000, but everything else is going quite great for me. You know, I have my own album coming out. I have, like, all these things, like, on the radio. Oh, and I'm on the radio. Yes.
Monet X Change
Let's talk about that for a second. You on the radio?
Bob the Drag Queen
On the radio.
Monet X Change
So if I'm I'm driving in my.
Bob the Drag Queen
Car and in certain, in certain. What do you call those things?
Monet X Change
Terrestrial radio.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Can I flip it? On Kiss, 108 FM?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. I mean, I don't know if it's on this one yet, but it will be soon. It's definitely on KISS in Chicago. On KISS in Savannah, Georgia.
Monet X Change
Is it? Wait, is this enough? No, not enough?
Bob the Drag Queen
No. It's. Get your flowers.
Monet X Change
Oh, get your flowers.
Bob the Drag Queen
Get your flowers. It's. It's a song about, you know, just like giving people their. Just deal and I think and getting them as a person, like, come and get your flowers. Like.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
And it's one of those songs that you could just like jam to and you can play during like a family reunion. You can all just get. Because there's a line dance in it.
Monet X Change
Oh, fierce. I love. I mean, I wish life were more like wedding reception line dances. I don't think that's the real experience of life, but.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, in, in black people's lives it is.
Monet X Change
See, ethnic life is much better than it is.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, that's just a true statement.
Monet X Change
Ethnic food is better.
Bob the Drag Queen
Ethnic. Just the word ethnic.
Monet X Change
I was just thinking it's so rotten and rude.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was like. So at some point people said, okay, we can't say any of these other bad words. We can't really.
Monet X Change
What's the dog whistle euphemism we can throw in there?
Bob the Drag Queen
Let's just say ethnic.
Monet X Change
Yeah. Oftentimes, you know, ethnic comes with. We're not gonna go down. Ethnic cleansing. But it's crazy.
Bob the Drag Queen
We don't. Not right now.
Monet X Change
Yeah, not, not this segment. I just noticed your loafers.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just noticed your Alexander McQueen.
Monet X Change
They're really comfortable. They're really comfortable.
Bob the Drag Queen
They look, they look very comfortable. They look.
Monet X Change
You know, I always expect fancy shoes to like not be comfortable, Right?
Bob the Drag Queen
Why would they not be comfortable?
Monet X Change
Because sometimes they are. Which is. Boggles my mind that a pair of shoes that cost more than 200 could not be comfortable.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's stupid.
Monet X Change
It's absurd.
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, why would they not become.
Monet X Change
Why would they not be comfortable?
Bob the Drag Queen
If I'm gonna pay this much money for these shoes, they better.
Monet X Change
No, no.
Bob the Drag Queen
Walk me.
Monet X Change
Thank you.
Bob the Drag Queen
To the goddamn car.
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I better just go.
Monet X Change
Yeah, you just look floating.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm just gonna float to the top of sleep.
Monet X Change
Balenciaga had a pair of like Muppet looking little kitten heel mules. The most uncomfortable piece of shits I ever tried on. Ever.
Bob the Drag Queen
My crazy. One of my dancers has those Balenciaga huge tennis shoes that are like, look like you're wearing a goddamn tire on your phone.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
And they say that it's like, it's.
Monet X Change
Yeah. It's insane.
Bob the Drag Queen
Are they heavy? They're like. They're not light.
Monet X Change
It goes like. Are they comfortable? They're not killing me.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, yeah, they're killing me. Yeah, they're very cute, actually.
Monet X Change
It's nuts. So you didn't. You didn't win Drag Race?
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
Neither did I.
Bob the Drag Queen
Well, I got further than you.
Monet X Change
Yes, you did. Yes, you did.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes.
Monet X Change
Yes, you did.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yes, I did.
Monet X Change
I'm a top four finalist.
Bob the Drag Queen
Four.
Monet X Change
And you're a top two finalists.
Bob the Drag Queen
I was the top two finalists for my actual season.
Monet X Change
Okay. So please refresh my memory. When was how you. Nymphia plane in the top. That's three.
Bob the Drag Queen
Top three.
Monet X Change
Who was the fourth? Who was caught before that? Q. Q. Okay. Some of these names are really interesting. Dawn. Love Dawn.
Bob the Drag Queen
Don. Don. Don. Dawn. My mom's name is Dawn.
Monet X Change
Oh, no way.
Bob the Drag Queen
And so, like, the second I knew that there was gonna. The second I saw her, and I was like, dawn, greet the dawn with enthusiasm and you may expect satisfaction at sunset. Make it a great day.
Monet X Change
Oh, my God.
Bob the Drag Queen
That was my mom's. Like when you. When you call her, that is her. Her ringtone. I mean, her message fierce.
Monet X Change
So Don was your mother?
Bob the Drag Queen
Don was my daughter. Is my daughter.
Monet X Change
Your daughter and your mother? She's so cute.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. I love her so much.
Monet X Change
I love makeup.
Bob the Drag Queen
My favorite face.
Monet X Change
The face is so cool. The ears are so lovely.
Bob the Drag Queen
The ears. And we got ready together right next to each other.
Monet X Change
I bet she can't do a 20 minute face. Ms. Dawn.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. But she did. She can't paint faster than you think. Even less, because she had to change her makeup sometimes.
Monet X Change
Damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
And she would do it. It was like, oh, you're sick artist.
Monet X Change
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so funny that.
Bob the Drag Queen
And what do you call those people? Engineer.
Monet X Change
What?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, straight up. Engineer.
Monet X Change
Damn.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, degreed. Degreed degree.
Monet X Change
Pet diploma. I love. And I just. I love. If I had to choose a occupation from my future husband, I would say engineer.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, I think the same.
Monet X Change
Mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, or. Yeah, yeah. Engineer is just sexy. Yeah, just musical engineer.
Bob the Drag Queen
Musical engineer is great. Yeah. But, you know, we'll see how much money they make. Well, I mean, whoever makes the most.
Monet X Change
They could be producing, you know, albums for Dr. Dre, for Doc in the.
Bob the Drag Queen
Night, if anyone's doing that anymore.
Monet X Change
No, I'm. You know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh. Like back in the day, you want, like, you want an older engineer?
Monet X Change
Yeah. Somebody in his 60s who's worked with the Rolling Stones.
Bob the Drag Queen
No. You want someone in their 90s.
Monet X Change
Well, do you. Have you seen that clip about, like. I think it's called. I don't know how to say the word. Gerontophilia. It's like the love of oldies, but. And there's a guy who's like, you know, they have Silver Daddy's, the website, and the guy is like. He wants to. He's, I think maybe 50, 40, and he is looking for guys in their 90s. But it's not very practical to date guys who are in their 90s because they gonna die soon. Soon.
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh. For that reason. Okay.
Monet X Change
You know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Like, I know people.
Monet X Change
That's what they want who are doing.
Bob the Drag Queen
90S so that they do die soon.
Monet X Change
Oh, no, no, no, no. This is like, stay alive, you old. Stay alive. Old.
Bob the Drag Queen
I want to, like, suck on those.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Long nuts. Long nuts. Because the. The thing about Omega is the older you get.
Monet X Change
Is that true?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. The older you get, the longer your nuts get. They just keep. I don't like dropping.
Monet X Change
I don't like that. I don't like that at all.
Bob the Drag Queen
It's like door knockers.
Monet X Change
I mean, I. Oh, man. I don't like at all. I'm not a ball stretcher. No. I'm not like, a ring person.
Bob the Drag Queen
No.
Monet X Change
I'm not into any dick tourniquets.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's what I call those dick tourniquets. I call cock rings dick tourniquets. I'm like, get that dick tourniquet away from me. It's like, you look at that penis in the cock ring. You're like, what is that?
Monet X Change
What about with the ball stretchers? So they got the cock ring on?
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
And they got the ball stretchers. These, like, giant. They look like napkin holders.
Bob the Drag Queen
Sell those things.
Monet X Change
Fierce.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. I used to work at Full Kit and. Oh, my gosh.
Monet X Change
Oh, like a sex store.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. P Town. Full Kit. And we would sell them, and I never got. I tried it once.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I even have some still at home. I don't use them because I have very sensitive testicles.
Monet X Change
I. Yeah, I don't. I'm not. I have a friend who's. I've known. He was into, like, the most extreme whatever. I mean, he was getting fisted before anybody was getting fisted.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't know if that's true.
Monet X Change
No, I mean. You know what I mean? Like, he was. He was born in the game is what I'm trying to say. So, like, he's tried everything that the Every kind of, like, stimulation tool for the genitals has. Has been thoroughly explored by this guy.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
And he was telling me, like, you know. Yeah. He's got, like, ball stretchers and all this down there. I'm like, wow. I. I don't want anything down into sounding. Sounding. Fisting. Everything stimming. Like, everything is con.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, that east. I. I don't like it on me, but I have used it on partners before, and it is really, really lovely. Yeah, I'm. I. You know, I don't. I don't even like getting head girl Interesting.
Monet X Change
I don't either.
Bob the Drag Queen
I do not.
Monet X Change
I don't.
Bob the Drag Queen
I don't like. Because my. I'm very sensitive.
Monet X Change
Me too.
Bob the Drag Queen
And, like, feeling like the mouth is a very hard thing.
Monet X Change
And there's a lot of sharp things in there.
Bob the Drag Queen
There's sharp things in there.
Monet X Change
If you're dealing with men, sometimes there's, like, beards going on or stubble going on.
Bob the Drag Queen
Maybe the back of the throat. Not soft.
Monet X Change
Nope.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not all the hard palate. The soft palate is soft. But then you get to the back, and then you're like, yep, braces. And then my favorite is people, like, they try and force you down their throat, and you're like, ow. What the fuck are you doing?
Monet X Change
Yeah, ouchy. Especially have they have adult braces. That's a whole nother side.
Bob the Drag Queen
I've never in my life.
Monet X Change
What about queen of flips? What's her head game?
Bob the Drag Queen
She didn't give head game. Like, that is not the reason why I helped her with her stuff.
Monet X Change
Queen of flips. We're really wondering what the head game is.
Bob the Drag Queen
Apparently it's off the chain, though. I don't. I'm not gonna say why. I know, but.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
So she doesn't have the braces anymore either, by the way.
Monet X Change
Put them back. Queen of flips. Put them back on. Okay, we do have to wrap up, but I just want to. I want to round off this little segment. I know. I apologize to the listener. I've been very scatterbrained. But you. I. I'm interested to do people. Is this too personal to ask if you're cut or uncut?
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm French cut.
Monet X Change
Okay. Because I don't like jerk. I don't like jerk off either. Because guys pull on my.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's why I don't let people touch me.
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
Not many people know they do what they do to themselves.
Monet X Change
Yes. And if they're uncut, it's. It's like, oh, I know immediately if a guy's uncut because the way that he approaches my dick is, like, not his dick. Yeah, I'm too. I'm fiercely cut. Like, you have to be very, like.
Bob the Drag Queen
I'm French cut, so.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Which is like, half and half.
Monet X Change
Okay.
Bob the Drag Queen
But mostly I appear to be cut. Okay. But, like, it's. I usually am like, girl, no, just. Just turn around.
Monet X Change
I mean, I couldn't even masturbate without lube.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, same. Same.
Monet X Change
Couldn't. It's not an option.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Much to the chagrin of people who visit my home and slip on, you know, hardwood floor, stain stained lube, and then die and die. But, you know, it's annoying.
Bob the Drag Queen
Then leave.
Monet X Change
But it's, like. But very sensitive. I hate it when people grab it, yank on the dick, and then they yank it down. Yeah. And I was like, girl, get your.
Bob the Drag Queen
You don't know what you're doing.
Monet X Change
And also, if you're. As a top. If you're, like, in a. In a sexual situation where you're kind of where you have, like, more of a dominant energy, I don't like, like, ow. Like, I don't like saying, like, I don't, like. I don't know. There's something about it. You know what I mean?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, I just.
Monet X Change
I just go, yeah, turn. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
I just take their hand off. I just go.
Monet X Change
Throw them against the wall.
Bob the Drag Queen
I go, oh, no, you're good.
Monet X Change
Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Or if they're, like, giving me head, I just pulled their. Pull them by the hair and just go like, next card, baby.
Monet X Change
Next card. I don't know the words. Where my background blowers at?
Bob the Drag Queen
Where my background blowers.
Monet X Change
That's gonna be.
Bob the Drag Queen
That's when you blow out that back, though.
Monet X Change
Yes.
Bob the Drag Queen
You know, it's like, okay, cool, you've gotten it on. Let's turn around and let's do the thing that we came to do because.
Monet X Change
Okay, so I think we do have to wrap, but I think if you're here for the week, I think we're gonna have to strong arm you into doing a part two.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah, let's do it.
Monet X Change
Okay. We might have to do it. Yeah.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah.
Monet X Change
Because we only. We got through, like, 12 seconds of drag Race. Okay. So stay tuned for that, Savira. Thank you so much. Long time, friend. How long has it been? 2010. 14 years. Yeah, 14 years. That's older than some of the people listening are. That's scary. Okay, on that note, thank you so much, and we'll see you next time. Where can people find you?
Bob the Drag Queen
Oh, you can find me on all streaming platforms at Sapphira, Cristal, that's S A P P H, I, R A C, R, I, S T A, L Also, you can find me on Instagram and, like, all. Everything.
Monet X Change
Are you a TikTok? Tiktoker.
Bob the Drag Queen
Yeah. And TikTok. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not great at it, but, you know, I do it.
Monet X Change
You know, none of us are, but.
Bob the Drag Queen
We'Re trying, especially us with the. With the. With the threes or fours or fives in our numbers.
Monet X Change
Seriously, it's hard for these fierce French cut dicks, baby. AARP card and a French cut dick and a ball stretcher in the Christmas stocking.
Bob the Drag Queen
Baby. If you could put a ball stretcher in my Christmas stocking, I'm gonna stretch your ass.
Monet X Change
Okay. Have a lovely day. Thank you.
Bob the Drag Queen
Bye. Bye. Sa.
Episode Summary: Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica (Part 1) with Katya
Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Host/Author: Studio71
Release Date: September 24, 2024
Episode Title: Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica (Part 1) with Katya
In this captivating episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, hosts Monet X Change and Bob the Drag Queen engage in a lively and multifaceted conversation. While the episode is titled "Sapphira Cristál's Mermaid Erotica (Part 1) with Katya," the transcript primarily features Monet and Bob discussing a range of topics from race and ethnicity to personal experiences in the drag scene. Their dynamic banter is both engaging and insightful, offering listeners a deep dive into the complexities of drag culture, personal identity, and the challenges faced within the entertainment industry.
Timestamp: [00:01 - 03:24]
Monet and Bob open the discussion by delving into the intricate relationships between race, ethnicity, and societal perceptions. They critique the simplistic use of "red, white, and blue" in flags, questioning the assumptions tied to these color combinations and their associations with specific national identities.
Notable Discussions:
Flag Colors:
Monet: "Russia and France both use blue, white, and red in their flags. Why is that so common?" ([02:11])
Ethnicity Terminology:
Monet: "There's like white or Hispanic and non-Hispanic. I don't understand. That's ethnicity, right?" ([03:08])
Notable Quote:
Timestamp: [05:01 - 06:20]
The conversation shifts to the importance of self-esteem and self-love, echoing sentiments often promoted in drag culture and by icons like RuPaul. Monet emphasizes the necessity of being one's own best friend and the impact of self-acceptance on relationships and personal growth.
Notable Discussions:
Self-Love Principles:
Monet: "Be your own best friend. That's what I always say." ([06:00])
RuPaul's Philosophy:
Monet: "RuPaul always says, if you don't love yourself, then you don't know how you want to be loved." ([06:10])
Notable Quotes:
Bob the Drag Queen [05:29]: "It's really cunty. And it's kind of one of those things that pisses people off."
Monet X Change [06:20]: "You have to be the first one because... Well."
Timestamp: [07:04 - 18:48]
Monet and Bob delve into their experiences within the drag scene, particularly focusing on their time at Jacques Cabaret and the evolving landscape of drag competitions like RuPaul's Drag Race. They discuss the increasing competitiveness, the financial pressures of creating unique drag outfits on a budget, and the heightened standards contestants face each season.
Notable Discussions:
Budget Constraints on Drag Race:
Monet: "We had a five suitcase rule. £50 each. That's all you could bring." ([31:01])
Evolution of Drag Performances:
Bob: "The level of drag on your season is mind-blowing. It's airbending." ([07:18])
Notable Quotes:
Monet X Change [09:07]: "I can sew pretty well. I sewed one of the most horrible things ever seen on Drag Race, then went home because of it."
Bob the Drag Queen [16:38]: "It's inspiring and it gives you like, sort of like, oh, this is not that hard. We think way too hard about this thing."
Timestamp: [21:00 - 32:20]
The hosts reminisce about their longstanding friendship and collaborative history in the drag community. They share anecdotes about working together at Jacques Cabaret, supporting each other's careers, and the challenges they faced along the way. Their bond is evident as they reflect on mutual friends and pivotal moments that shaped their journeys.
Notable Discussions:
Collaborative History:
Monet: "We worked together for about three or four years." ([09:55])
Mutual Support:
Bob: "I gave it my all because you gave me a chance." ([19:37])
Notable Quotes:
Monet X Change [09:55]: "We worked together for about three or four years."
Bob the Drag Queen [09:39]: "I was a successful drag queen before I was on Drag Race."
Timestamp: [32:20 - 43:37]
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to the artistry of drag, focusing on makeup techniques, costume design, and the transformation process. Monet and Bob discuss the efficiency of makeup applications by peers, the physical demands of performing in elaborate outfits, and their critiques of current drag competition formats, especially lip sync battles.
Notable Discussions:
Makeup Efficiency:
Monet: "Morphine had a 20-minute face." ([32:20])
Critique of Lip Sync Battles:
Monet: "I don't like a lip sync fight unless you're actually gonna perform it properly." ([43:37])
Notable Quotes:
Monet X Change [35:33]: "I'm the misery."
Bob the Drag Queen [35:17]: "How old are you?"
Timestamp: [43:37 - 56:58]
Monet and Bob transition into more personal territory, discussing their sexual preferences and experiences with candid humor. Topics include various sexual accessories, personal boundaries, and the complexities of intimate relationships. Their open dialogue offers listeners an unfiltered look into their personal lives, blending humor with vulnerability.
Notable Discussions:
Sexual Accessories:
Bob: "I'm French cut." ([55:19])
Personal Boundaries:
Monet: "I don't like it when people grab my dick and yank it down." ([56:19])
Notable Quotes:
Monet X Change [55:27]: "I don't like jerk off either. Because guys pull on my dick."
Bob the Drag Queen [56:46]: "If you could put a ball stretcher in my Christmas stocking, I'm gonna stretch your ass."
Timestamp: [57:00 - 58:26]
As the episode nears its end, Monet and Bob wrap up their conversation with reflections on their shared history and hints at future discussions. They tease a potential part two, ensuring listeners stay tuned for more in-depth conversations. Additionally, they provide information on how listeners can follow their work across various platforms.
Notable Discussions:
Future Episodes:
Monet: "We might have to strong arm you into doing a part two." ([57:17])
Social Media and Streaming Platforms:
Bob: "You can find me on all streaming platforms at Sapphira Cristal." ([57:41])
Notable Quotes:
Monet X Change [58:19]: "Seriously, it's hard for these fierce French cut dicks, baby."
Bob the Drag Queen [58:24]: "Yeah, let's do it."
This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya offers a rich tapestry of discussions that intertwine humor, personal anecdotes, and critical insights into drag culture and societal issues. Monet X Change and Bob the Drag Queen's chemistry is palpable, making for an engaging listen that balances levity with depth. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to their content, this episode provides valuable perspectives on self-love, the evolution of drag, and the enduring power of friendship.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps
Monet X Change [03:24]: "There's a dude who wrote a book called 'White,' talking about white as the regular and everything else is ethnic. It's so wild."
Bob the Drag Queen [05:29]: "It's really cunty. And it's kind of one of those things that pisses people off."
Monet X Change [06:20]: "You have to be the first one because... Well."
Monet X Change [09:07]: "I can sew pretty well. I sewed one of the most horrible things ever seen on Drag Race, then went home because of it."
Bob the Drag Queen [16:38]: "It's inspiring and it gives you like, sort of like, oh, this is not that hard. We think way too hard about this thing."
Monet X Change [35:33]: "I'm the misery."
Monet X Change [55:27]: "I don't like jerk off either. Because guys pull on my dick."
Bob the Drag Queen [56:46]: "If you could put a ball stretcher in my Christmas stocking, I'm gonna stretch your ass."
This detailed summary captures the essence of the episode, highlighting key discussions, notable quotes, and the overall flow of the conversation. It provides a comprehensive overview for both regular listeners and newcomers interested in the vibrant world of drag culture and the personal journeys of Monet X Change and Bob the Drag Queen.