Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Summary of "Tee-El-Cee Presents: Extreme Rumspringa! with Trixie and Katya"

Host Information:

• Podcast Title: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
• Hosts: Devin Werkheiser and Drake Bell
• Produced by: Studio71
• Release Date: April 8, 2025

---

1. Navigating Hollywood Boulevard

The episode kicks off with Devin and Drake sharing their amusing and sometimes frustrating experiences walking along Hollywood Boulevard. Devin describes his encounters with the iconic X-shaped crosswalks, highlighting the chaos and unexpected interactions with fans.

• Devin (04:00): "I went for a walk today on Hollywood Boulevard just cuz I wanted to see shit. Yeah. Human feces."
• Drake (06:18): "Wait for the perfect lighting to hit you at that diet."

They discuss the challenges of maintaining their drag personas in such a bustling environment, emphasizing the constant vigilance required to avoid disrupting photo shoots and fan interactions.

2. The Struggles of Performing in Drag

A significant portion of the conversation delves into the physical and emotional toll that drag performances take on them. Devin talks about back pain and arthritis exacerbated by wearing corsets and tight outfits, while Drake humorously recounts the mishaps of performing in heavy makeup and elaborate wigs.

• Devin (12:08): "I hate riding in the car in drag. I had to do photoshoot."
• Drake (43:43): "It's physical, spiritual, emotional. It's a full rejection."

They explore the balance between the artistry of drag and the practical difficulties, shedding light on the lesser-seen aspects of their glamorous personas.

3. Reflections on Drag Makeup and Wigs

The hosts share nostalgic memories of their early days in drag, reminiscing about their first wigs and makeup techniques. Devin highlights the evolution of wig styles and the importance of matching lace to skin tones, while Drake jokes about his own less-than-perfect makeup attempts.

• Devin (13:16): "I used to buy the blonde wigs with the brown wig and the lace would be like a deeper."
• Drake (49:07): "Why did I wear a black wig every single episode?"

Their discussion underscores the meticulous craftsmanship behind their looks and the personal experimentation that defines their drag journeys.

4. Opinions on Current TV Shows and Movies

Devin and Drake critique various television programs and movies, offering candid opinions on their favorite and least favorite pieces of entertainment. They discuss the dramatization of real-life abuse stories, animated adaptations of classic tales, and the impact of modern storytelling techniques.

• Devin (24:50): "Mrs. Grace is this young woman who was adopted by an American family..."
• Drake (34:15): "You had me at Gal Gadot singing."

Their analysis ranges from the effectiveness of storytelling to the portrayal of complex characters, providing listeners with insightful critiques intertwined with humor.

5. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Banter

The episode is peppered with lighthearted and often humorous exchanges between Devin and Drake. They share personal stories about cleaning routines, dietary struggles, and the humorous side effects of maintaining their drag personas.

• Devin (54:32): "Stop eating. The way I talk to myself in the kitchen to try to get myself out of there."
• Drake (55:22): "I think we get ended on that."

Their playful interactions create an engaging and relatable atmosphere, allowing listeners to connect with them on a personal level.

6. The Physical Demands of Drag Performances

Further into the episode, Devin and Drake discuss the extreme physical demands of their performances. They talk about the discomfort of extended wear of drag attire, the necessity of taking breaks, and strategies to cope with the exhaustion that comes with their art.

• Devin (46:52): "There’s no magic formula. You already know what to do."
• Drake (47:20): "But there's something. It must be the lighting there."

This segment highlights their resilience and dedication to their craft despite the challenges they face.

7. Final Thoughts and Reflections

As the episode nears its conclusion, Devin and Drake reflect on their experiences and the future of their drag careers. They express gratitude for their supportive community and discuss upcoming projects, leaving listeners with a sense of anticipation for what’s next.

• Devin (57:30): "So sick."
• Drake (57:53): "That's a lot of cheese. That's a lot of cheese."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Devin (04:00): "I went for a walk today on Hollywood Boulevard just cuz I wanted to see shit. Yeah. Human feces."
• Drake (06:18): "Wait for the perfect lighting to hit you at that diet."
• Devin (12:08): "I hate riding in the car in drag. I had to do photoshoot."
• Drake (43:43): "It's physical, spiritual, emotional. It's a full rejection."
• Devin (13:16): "I used to buy the blonde wigs with the brown wig and the lace would be like a deeper."
• Drake (49:07): "Why did I wear a black wig every single episode?"
• Devin (24:50): "Mrs. Grace is this young woman who was adopted by an American family..."
• Drake (34:15): "You had me at Gal Gadot singing."
• Devin (54:32): "Stop eating. The way I talk to myself in the kitchen to try to get myself out of there."
• Drake (55:22): "I think we get ended on that."

---

Conclusion:

In this episode of "The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya," Devin Werkheiser and Drake Bell offer an unfiltered, entertaining look into the lives of drag performers navigating the highs and lows of Hollywood. From the physical challenges of maintaining elaborate drag personas to their candid critiques of contemporary media, their dynamic conversation provides both humor and insight. Listeners are treated to personal anecdotes, humorous exchanges, and thoughtful reflections, making this episode a must-listen for fans of drag culture and engaging podcast content.

Transcript

[Sponsor Voice]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Imagine waking up to find your bank account drained, bills for loans you never took out, a warrant for your arrest, all because someone committed a crime in your name. It sounds like a nightmare, but for millions of people each year, it's reality. And here's the scariest part. By the time companies tell you your data was stolen, it's already been nearly a year. 277 days. That's how long on average hackers have to use your Social Security number, open accounts, take out loans, and destroy your credit before you even know you've been exposed. By the time you get that breach notification email, the damage is done. Your identity stolen, your financial future at risk, and the company that lost your data. They'll just apologize and move on. Hackers aren't waiting. Why are you? This can all sound really scary, which is why I'm so glad we're partnering with Aura. Hackers don't wait, so why should you? Aura monitors the dark web 247 for your phone number, email and Social Security number. Because the moment they show up for sale, criminals are ready to use them. If Aura detects your info, you'll get an instant alert so you can act before the damage is done. What if your identity is already stolen? Criminals can take out loans, max out credit cards and vanish. That's why Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance and a US based fraud resolution team that works around the clock to shut down fraud fast and get your life back on track. Your personal data is a goldmine for hackers and Aura helps lock it down with a VPN for private browsing data broker. Opt out to stop companies from selling your info and a password manager to help secure your accounts. Aura gives you the tools to fight back. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details.

[Devin Werkheiser]

This is a message from sponsor Intuit. TurboTax Taxes was getting frustrated by your forms. Now Taxes is uploading your forms with a Snap and a TurboTax expert will do your taxes for you. One who's backed by the latest tech which cross checks millions of data points for absolute accuracy. All of which makes it easy for you to get the most money back guaranteed. Get an expert [e-mail], only available with TurboTax Live full service. Seek guaranteed [e-mail] guarantees.

[Drake Bell]

Hey, this is Devin Werkheiser. This week on Ned's declassified podcast Survival.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Guide, we sit down with Drake Bell to discuss the year since Quiet on Set came out.

[Drake Bell]

The tweet that killed our podcast and.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Our shared history growing up on Nickelodeon. On the live stream, everyone is asking like, what do you think? And we hadn't watched it yet.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, we weren't. Yeah, we weren't on a show like that.

[Devin Werkheiser]

We didn't have that experience.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. I said, speak for yourself.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I'll be releasing my tell all. And then what was your response to that? And then I made the joke that got clipped. So obviously I'm getting one small clip with everyone else explaining what was going on in the. They were talking about Quiet on Set.

[Drake Bell]

And they had just watched it and.

[Devin Werkheiser]

They, they were, they were live streaming while they were watching this is what they were telling me.

[Drake Bell]

We were all anxious to have this conversation and you don't want to miss it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Watch on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello. Hi.

[Drake Bell]

What is your tea, girl?

[Devin Werkheiser]

My tea? My tea is. Girl, where's your tea, Val? What's the villity of your tea today? I went for a walk today on Hollywood Boulevard just cuz I wanted to see shit. Yeah. Human feces. Rent by the. Rent by the 30 minute block. Cyber trucks you can ride and take pictures in and you know, penis, penis. Naked penis.

[Drake Bell]

Wagglers.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Wagglers. Just showing it all. And every time I do that diagonal crosswalk in Hollywood Boulevard, it feels like when you get hit by a car.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, is that Hollywood in Highland? Yeah. Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And there's the X shaped crosswalk. And every time in the middle, I know like a young girl taking a hair flip photo. So I'm ducking and covering because I'm ruining pictures and I keep being like, we're gonna get hit by cars. This.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. This is not the time for a flash mob photo shoot. Yeah, there's like go to the Hollywood sign.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Go somewhere.

[Drake Bell]

Go anywhere else. Literally anywhere else. Go to the Chinese Theater.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Go to the Chinese. Go to the Grauman's.

[Drake Bell]

Grauman's Chinese Theater.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Or the tlc. Or the TLC theater. Other Chinese theater.

[Drake Bell]

Wait, that's the same theater, right?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I don't know.

[Drake Bell]

I think it is.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I have fans saw me and came up and you know, it always feels very corny to get Recognized on Hollywood Boulevard because it feels like I'm out there going, I mean, you're doing the. The. The selfish.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, exactly.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You're taking yourself to the mall and cheating out what's her name?

[Drake Bell]

What's her name?

[Devin Werkheiser]

You're so small. Yeah. And so this person comes up and is so excited, goes, but. But it's like Tick Tock. Brain rot. So it's just. Wait. No, wait, wait. You know, it's just. Wait. What are we waiting for?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, we're in the. We're in the middle of the street.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And it's like the. The targeted ads on Tick Tock where they're selling clothes and it's just some girl pulling up tights over an ass going like, oh, my God, wait. But, oh, my God, wait. And I'm waiting, and it's just pants waiting. Nothing to wait for.

[Drake Bell]

Nothing to wait for.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So then. And then I take the picture with them and they were so excited. And then they go, honestly, it really is not tea. What's not tea? This, like, really isn't tea. What isn't tea? I have just.

[Drake Bell]

Are we past the point of no return in regard to language girl? I think it's done. Sometimes done.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's too much. Wait. Oh, my God.

[Drake Bell]

Wait, wait.

[Devin Werkheiser]

What are we waiting for? Wait.

[Drake Bell]

I don't know the way it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Drake Bell]

I don't like that.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It makes me think of the crosswalks. Wait, wait.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Walk sign is off.

[Drake Bell]

Like, wait for what? Wait for the perfect lighting to hit you at that diet. I don't. I don't like that crosswalk in any way, shape or form. I don't walk it. I don't drive through it. I avoid it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The crossy walk.

[Drake Bell]

The crossy walk, the crosswalk. It's hard, heavy, bricky tea in that crosswalk.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The crosswalk. And you know what I do love, though? And this is kind of like. Maybe I used to like pimple popping videos. Or maybe then I used to like the Korean baking videos.

[Drake Bell]

I'm trying to get into those.

[Devin Werkheiser]

By the way, my new thing I like is those videos of. Let's say it's a butt where you've lost £300. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of extra skin. It's dimples. It's whatever. It's that moment where you pull those tights over.

[Drake Bell]

Oh. And it goes.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And it all snaps together and then wait. And then. It's thrilling. It's fucking thrilling. You go from. You know, a lot of these people have worked out very hard. It's very gratifying. To see somebody who. Who, you know, you have all the extra skin. You probably have to feel like you have to hide in clothes. And then they put on the Spanx, the neon Spanx, and they're like, wait. And then I do wait. And then I. You know what?

[Drake Bell]

It's worth it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's worth the wait. Do you know I hit the Penjamin last night and spent $700 on TikTok shop?

[Drake Bell]

You hit the what?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I can't talk to you anymore.

[Drake Bell]

The Benjamin.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The Penjamin Pena Angelie.

[Drake Bell]

Wait, what are you talking about? Wait.

[Devin Werkheiser]

What are you talking about?

[Drake Bell]

There's something about the way he says that.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh, wait. It's too much. I love it. I love it, I love it, I.

[Drake Bell]

Love it, I love it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Will you.

[Drake Bell]

Your body just. You know what? I don't have time to wait for. I'm not waiting for your body dysmorphia. Not one second. I'm not in that crosswalk.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's been really hard. It's been really hard.

[Drake Bell]

I'm not saying I don't sympathize. I'm saying I don't see her.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I had. It's my own journey. My own journey. I have my. I think we talked about this. I don't have the same. I would see a man with my body and have no issue. But on me, I'm like, of course. You should just go.

[Drake Bell]

Of course. Yeah. Kill yourself.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Go wait for that cross line, that crosswalk sign to change until the cars come and then let them hit you. Yeah. I had to do that Phantom of the Opera descent into the basement to get my 34 jeans, not the 32 cover.

[Drake Bell]

One eye.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh. Completely out of candelabra. I have a mask on. I'm like, you know, and that's Hunchback or Phantom? It's BofA. Because I also rang a bell. The Hunchback of the Opera. The Hunchback of the Phantom of the Opera. Angelique. It was just. It was too much. But.

[Drake Bell]

So you're now your row size 14?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, I just wear my clothes from a year ago. Great. Before I got arthritis. So I guess I'm back.

[Drake Bell]

You're back.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Back, Back again. Back to who I always was.

[Drake Bell]

Returned to you, Big face.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Now in a photo, I'm like, shit, I'm about to start taking a charcoal brick gray and drawing a circle in the daylight around the face.

[Drake Bell]

No, no, no, no, no. Well, you know that I want a.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Tiny Mitt Romney face. I want that postage.

[Drake Bell]

Huge forehead, giant hair, little face.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh, I guess that's not good either.

[Drake Bell]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Devin Werkheiser]

That's not good.

[Drake Bell]

No eyes. Sunken eyes. Ugh.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Ugh.

[Drake Bell]

You've got. You've got perfect. Perfect face for drag.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh, thanks. You have a perfect face for completely transforming into someone else. Oh, no, no, you pumpkin. For carving. Cuz it's so big.

[Drake Bell]

That's right.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Anything you want to do?

[Drake Bell]

Paper plate. To be. To be put food on.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Can I tell you that I barely made it here? They closed Kanga Pass.

[Drake Bell]

I was right behind you.

[Devin Werkheiser]

They closed Kanga Pass. The only way I know how to get here. And I literally was like, no, they didn't, baby. Yeah, they did.

[Drake Bell]

I was on her.

[Devin Werkheiser]

No, you weren't.

[Drake Bell]

Yes, I was.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The entrance to it at least was closed.

[Drake Bell]

No, I was on her.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Tell me why I ended up in the parking lot at Universal Studios.

[Drake Bell]

Are you serious?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yes. Trying to get here.

[Drake Bell]

You know what? That is not surprising because I have done the car is. I'm not ready to not stop talking about the car.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Okay.

[Drake Bell]

I'm not ready to not stop talking about it. It's so dangerous, girl. It's like it's. People are so willy nilly with the danger. And I can't. And I won't. And I won't ever stop.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I drive like a mannequin. I grab. I drive. I have.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Erectly around your back.

[Drake Bell]

Vision peripheral.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yes.

[Drake Bell]

On alert.

[Devin Werkheiser]

My blind spot. My head turns all the way around, I swear to God. And I have to give my rental back on Tuesday. And I feel like a foster parent having to, you know.

[Drake Bell]

Did you like that car?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, I loved it.

[Drake Bell]

Why did you get. Well, you still have it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, I'm still trying to get a real car. This is a car.

[Drake Bell]

Like a car.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's not fake.

[Drake Bell]

It's real.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I have to return it to Enterprise on Tuesday.

[Drake Bell]

How does she handle?

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's gorgeous. Can I tell you how much. Well, the car jerked me. Didn't know it had the thing where it puts you in the lane. Oh, I guess I was.

[Drake Bell]

How do you feel about that?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, there was construction taking me around, so there's cones taking you off the lines.

[Drake Bell]

Got it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

But my. My car thought, oh, you're drinking and driving or something. Tried to yank me back in and I had to fight her.

[Drake Bell]

Sometimes when we try to help, we hurt.

[Devin Werkheiser]

We hurt. So I had to like, push, make like a nail and press on and just get around it.

[Drake Bell]

How do you feel about the beeping sounds when you're backing up? It's like, shut the fuck Up.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's too much beeping is what it is.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Too much beeping.

[Drake Bell]

It's too much beeping. And also, we've talked about this. The unpredictable cadence and the unclear message of her beeping is like. What do you mean?

[Devin Werkheiser]

What do you mean? Like.

[Drake Bell]

Can you be more specific?

[Devin Werkheiser]

There's a truck eight feet behind me.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

It's horrible.

[Devin Werkheiser]

What?

[Drake Bell]

Hate it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's too much.

[Drake Bell]

So what kind of car are you going to get? Is this too unrelatable to talk about?

[Devin Werkheiser]

No, I don't. I. I have a lot of feelings and a lot of thoughts. Sometimes I. I mean, when I sit in a giant Navigator or a Tahoe, it still doesn't feel big enough for me to sit in drag. So part of me thinks, just accept it and get a small car. So that's easy to maneuver when you're not in drag, you know.

[Drake Bell]

Well, you can get a sedan that's roomy through the hips.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I hate riding in the car in drag. I had to do photoshoot.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, it's awful.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I had a photo shoot yesterday.

[Drake Bell]

It's so big, though. Like, tall. I mean, huge. Shut up.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And the giant hair.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you have to do this? Yes. I had to come to a photo shoot here yesterday, and in drag, trying to sit up like this.

[Drake Bell]

You don't do a tip and wig?

[Devin Werkheiser]

No.

[Drake Bell]

I think you just started to hurt.

[Devin Werkheiser]

My back so bad.

[Drake Bell]

You should start doing a tip and wig. A tiptoe wig.

[Devin Werkheiser]

A tiptoe wig, Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

I mean, it's a.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Essentially.

[Drake Bell]

Essentially a bus driver. Something that'll fit, but also give you some dignity.

[Devin Werkheiser]

A ma wig.

[Drake Bell]

Yes.

[Devin Werkheiser]

There was an era.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, just a bang.

[Devin Werkheiser]

There was an era of drag where a lot of the wigs you could attain were maybe not found in nature for Caucasians.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, yes. Well, yeah, originally.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah. So there was a time in drag where a lot of black girls were wearing some very.

[Drake Bell]

I'm right here.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I wouldn't say you'd do it now.

[Drake Bell]

I'm right here.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

The first. I mean, I don't know, 23 wigs I owned.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Like, I'm from Roxbury, Massachusetts.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, there wasn't access to it.

[Drake Bell]

My name is lawanda and I have, like. And I live in the projects. It's crazy. No, no.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Because that's all that was available, but now there's. I don't think the kids today know the access of wigs. You can get your lace to match your skin. I mean, I used to buy the blonde wigs with the brown wig and the lace would be like.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

A deeper. So I'd have to paint it or paint my forehead brown, which I was already doing anyway. Boop.

[Drake Bell]

We, we, we. Oh, I remember this so clearly.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It was a hard time to be blonde 15 years ago.

[Drake Bell]

Yes, it was. But you know what we all did? We all made a collective delusional decision to say, I don't see that brown screen. It's not there.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It doesn't concern you.

[Drake Bell]

It was absolutely there. It was so there. We all knew it and we all knew it, but we just chose to ignore it. And I was like, that's fierce.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And then there was like the. The. The access to wigs by vanity era where all the girls had the six inch lace at DragCon. Do you remember that? The birdcage veils because it's too much. What the fuck was that?

[Drake Bell]

Because it's so good, you don't want to get rid of it. It's.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It was so crazy. People at Meet and Grab do like.

[Drake Bell]

Girl, it's like chopping up your Gucci gauchos. Oh, I like the length because I.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Like a short lace. I like it almost gone. I know. That's horrible.

[Drake Bell]

Well, it depends.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, but it's so long. And we're giving Broadway tea.

[Drake Bell]

It's right there.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And it's like we got in the room. Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

We have to acknowledge the present.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's a Covid mask.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I mean, it's covering the mouth.

[Drake Bell]

I mean, they might as well have just like laced eyebrows into it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Because that would be a fierce little look.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you remember Lana Del Rey? Do you remember the Lana Del Rey face mask? That was like clear.

[Drake Bell]

See through the rhinestone love that is cunt. She's always ahead of the game.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She's always ahead of the game.

[Drake Bell]

She's behind the curve, you know, Ahead of the curve, behind the times.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Hell, yeah.

[Drake Bell]

I think that she should write it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Does she?

[Drake Bell]

It's so funny that she came onto, you know, Coachella with the same, like, what do you call that? Like, it was her Coachella.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yes.

[Drake Bell]

Right after Bachela, which was legendarily enormous and crazy. And she just rides in there on some, like, motorcycle in a little two piece and goes, oh, lona Cello.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Limoncello.

[Drake Bell]

Limoncello.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Have you ever had. Okay, there's. Sorry, there's lemon lacroix.

[Drake Bell]

Yes.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And then there's its fucked up sister called lemon cello. The instacart person brought lemon cello.

[Drake Bell]

Wait, actual limoncello or Limoncello La Croix.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Okay, so there's lemon flavored lacroix which is like sparkling while it tastes like lemons. And then there's limoncello, which is, I don't know, like chemical flavored.

[Drake Bell]

Boo boo lemon. Boo boo boo lemon. Well, I tried limoncello in Italy because it's like limonce. So you do it and you're like, this is fucking gross.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Right?

[Drake Bell]

It's gross. It's like a lemon flavored battery acid or gasoline.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Right. People like that, I guess. I mean, I hate the limoncello Lacroix.

[Drake Bell]

It sounds like a bad idea.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's just. Just do lemon.

[Drake Bell]

Well, it's like that cucumber and BlackBerry. I was like, what?

[Devin Werkheiser]

They do too much. Everybody's trying to reinvent the wheel.

[Drake Bell]

Just do red, brown and green.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, that's like the vape people. This is bubblegum brown cinnamon.

[Drake Bell]

I know. And it's also so nefarious because it's so clearly marketed towards the youngsters.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Right?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

This is watermelon. Watermelon peach. Watermelon peach brownie.

[Drake Bell]

They need to. Yeah, that's too. They need to like make it more adult oriented. I would do like, my vape line would be like hot pussy.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Right?

[Drake Bell]

Like full bush.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do they make vape that tastes like a. Like a cigarette? Just like. This is my mar. Mar Red. They do.

[Drake Bell]

Absolutely. Tobacco flavored. Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

What?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, well, because, you know, people. Some people try to replace it. For me. It's not a. It's not a replacement at all. But ask me if I've had a cigarette today.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Have you had a cigarette today?

[Drake Bell]

No.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Impressive.

[Drake Bell]

Ask me if I had one yesterday.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you have one yesterday?

[Drake Bell]

No.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Wow. Huge if true.

[Drake Bell]

Huge if true.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Planet of the vapes.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, but I have them.

[Devin Werkheiser]

What are you gonna do with them? Like a. Just in case.

[Drake Bell]

Just in case. You never know. Just in case.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I think in the. The collapse of America, they will be currency.

[Drake Bell]

Well, they're, they're. They're coming back. I. I don't know why. It's. Well, I know why. Just because what you just said. But I don't know how did you let me smell like shit all this time? Remember when you.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It was just kind of part of your charm.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

We're just happy you were still with us most of the time.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, here she comes.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah. You smell her?

[Drake Bell]

This is smell like booty.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Better Help, baby. Today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by Better Help. Therapy can feel like a big investment of your time. But I've noticed when it comes to things like exercise, sleep, you know, taking care of myself, but especially Therapy. Once I start to cut these things out of my life, everything falls further into imbalance. I mean, let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from 100 to 250 per session, which it does add up fast. I have done both and mine was more than that. So I totally, totally can vouch for that. I mean with BetterHelp online therapy you can save on average up to 50% per session. You pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and time. With better help, therapy should feel accessible. I mean it should not be like a luxury. Taking care of yourself should be something that is very easy to reach for. And with online therapy you can get quality care at a price that makes sense and can help you from anywhere. That means for me, on a different time zone, at an airport, whatever, I can keep up my self care. I benefit from talk therapy because like I've told you, sometimes it just helps me understand the Internet, my family, all types of stuff, every little thing in my life. Sometimes. I love being able to get some clarity on it with my therapist. You know, somebody who doesn't isn't invested in anything but my wellness. It's convenient too because you can join a session just clicking and you fit it into your, you know, busy life. I just put mine in my calendar and it me, Brandon, everybody knows, okay? This hour of the day, no matter where I am, the hotel, whatever, we know what I'm doing at this time. Plus you can switch at any time for any reason. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.comball today and get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com Baldwin this episode.

[Drake Bell]

Is brought to you by ritual. As some of you know, I've been on a bit of a health kick lately. I'm working on officially quitting the old tobacco sticks and I figured why not focus on my overall health as well. After a long weekend consultation high up in the Sierra Nevada mountains with my life coach and spiritual advisor, Saffron Sunshine, we came to the conclusion that I should start with my gut health. If you haven't been on TikTok lately, you obviously didn't know that everyone is talking about the gut microbiome these days. From the choreographed gut microbiome dances to the filters that make you look like a gut microbiome, the flora and fauna in our tummies is impossible to avoid on social media. Did you know that the gut microbiome is key to our mental health, immunity and of course digestion well, it is. And with Ritual Symbiotic Plus, a 3 in 1 supplement of clinically studied pre, pro and postbiotics, you can help support a balanced gut microbiome with daily use. Most people don't know the difference between prebiotics, probiotics, and postbiotics. You may think they're all the same thing, but you'd be wrong. While different, they actually work together in perfect harmony. Probiotics contain the live microorganisms themselves, the kind that make up a flourishing microbiome. Prebiotics contain the nutrients those microorganisms need. And postbiotics are natural byproducts that support the gut barrier. In just a few short weeks, Ritual's Synbiotic plus helped transform me from a gassy gargoyle to the regular pooping specimen. Recording this podcast ad right now. And it's not just me screaming from the mountaintop about ritual. In a study that modeled the human colon, Synbiotic plus increased the growth of beneficial bacteria and microbial diversity. It's designed with a delayed release capsule to help reach the colon, not the stomach. An ideal place for probiotics to survive and grow. All it takes is one daily mint scented capsule for simple, streamlined gut support. Plus, it's vegan friendly and formulated without GMOs, major allergens, animal products, shady fillers, and artificial colors. So get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic Plus. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.com bald that's ritual.com bald for 25% off your first month.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I fell asleep on the couch last night, which did not help my back.

[Drake Bell]

Are you depressed?

[Devin Werkheiser]

No, I just was watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was the Thanksgiving episode. I don't love that episode. Okay, so I fell asleep.

[Drake Bell]

Good.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You know? Cause, okay, so I wake up, I'm in pain, right? I wake up the way I wake up every morning lately. I try to lift my head and I'm wincing. I'm going, oh, it's been horrible. So I turn on the TV because I like to watch the news and what do I see? Badlands in Sacramento. Do you remember that gay bar? I'm sure you performed there. Lovely place. Hello. Hello.

[Drake Bell]

Burned down.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And now that my beautiful bar closed, I feel like I can be more loose lipped about the industry and some of the issues and the problems, right? I turn on the news and I see that this bar in Sacramento called Badlands has banned their political. They've banned political attire at the bar? They're like Just come here and drink. Leave your politics at the door. But then I guess that was the original thought, but the thought became banning, just MAGA shit. So you couldn't come to the gay bar where the gays and bisexuals and trans and bi people and, you know, pansexual people live and drink and wear your red hat.

[Drake Bell]

I agree with you, though.

[Devin Werkheiser]

That's my thought.

[Drake Bell]

Because people were doing it. I wonder.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, then the news, they had the nerve to say on the news, they had a Republican on there saying it's bullying a community mama.

[Drake Bell]

That's, like, racist towards white folks.

[Devin Werkheiser]

That is fucking racist towards white people.

[Drake Bell]

It's not a thing.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And Ms. Thing who came on the TV gave deep in the closet.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She came on in her, like, her, like, laminated brows, and she was like, it seems unfair.

[Drake Bell]

That's.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I'm gonna go fuck my wife.

[Drake Bell]

That's neither here nor there. The point is, like, you just shut up.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Why do you need to go to that bar?

[Drake Bell]

Also, why do you need to know whose penis I'm putting my. No, no. Whose body I'm putting my penis into?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, I'm obsessed with these cunty videos of people trying to go into gay bars and MAGA shit and these.

[Drake Bell]

What are they looking for, these bartenders.

[Devin Werkheiser]

With the little mullets? Just go. Get the fuck out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't want your money. We don't want your friends here. Get out.

[Drake Bell]

I mean, imagine rolling up to the Eagle with a maga hat. 2:00am, a bunch of horny bears around. They're gonna kick your ass.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I know. And it's hard because obviously I know this, gay bars are harder and harder to keep open in 2025. So turning away any business seems crazy, but get your fucking red hat the fuck out of here. Go down to Chili's and leave us alone.

[Drake Bell]

Thank you. Applebee's is open till 2am baby. And they have all you can eat buffet on Sundays from 3 to 6.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And for 18 bucks, you will get a thimble of liqueur in that drink.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, yeah, It's a milkshake with about a half a cup or half a teeny little thingy of a fucking whatever.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I just was gagged because it's. That's weird for them to say it's discrimination. I'm like a. Why do you want to come in here? Why do you want to drink here? And this. This paraphernalia, you're wearing it to signal that you make a hobby out of trying to snatch it, right? Out of my. My little denim skirt pocket.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. It's like going down to elementary school and just kicking kids in the face. What's up with that? Well, that sounds kind of fun, actually.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I just was watching the news gag. That is crazy, the word bullying being used. I was like, bullying, Bullying. Why is it.

[Drake Bell]

I mean.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So go off, Badlands. I love you. Go off?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, go off. Do whatever you want to do. I just wish the descent into fascism wasn't so riddled with stupidity. But I guess that's the foundation of that kind of prejudices. Ignorance.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah. I will say, as the world has gotten crazier, my taste for television has gotten even worse.

[Drake Bell]

What are we watching now?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Like, now it's not enough for me to goon and watch Natalia Grace. Okay, now I'm gonna have. Who's that?

[Drake Bell]

Natalia Grace.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Mrs. Grace is this young woman who was adopted by an American family. I could be paraphrasing. Don't fact check me, people.

[Drake Bell]

Okay? Don't fact check.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The program is called the Curious Case and Natalia Grace.

[Drake Bell]

Okay, that's fun.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, it's kind of a fun little. Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

What channel is it on?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I was one of the crazy ones.

[Drake Bell]

Tlc.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, probably tlc. And she. Her family decided that she was secretly older. It was, like, part of the inspiration for the orphan. Her family decided to age her. She had a form of dwarfism where they were like. Eventually they saw in a bathtub that she had pubes. And they were like, she's secretly 30. And they got her an apartment and took this, like, child and gave her an apartment and just left her there for years. And so it's kind of an abuse story.

[Drake Bell]

That's so weird. You're like, get out, oldie.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah. So now there's a dramatization starring that woman from Grey's Anatomy. What's her name?

[Drake Bell]

Ellen Pompeo.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Is that her? So now I'm gonna have to watch that.

[Drake Bell]

You have to.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Of course you have to, because I.

[Drake Bell]

Did watch Ellen needs the work.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So the first season of Natalia Grace is the parents speaking out, being like, she was horrible. She ruined her lives. And the second season, Natalia Grace is the main character. And she said, open the fuck up. And she sits down across her legs and tells the real tea that she's basically abused.

[Drake Bell]

Holy shit.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And they said that this happens. People with no birth certificates from other countries, they come in and they get re aged.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, my God. Renamed re aged. And then nine years old, you're 18.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Bye.

[Drake Bell]

It's like. It's like 30 Rock is like, you know, your cousin Jeffrey used to be a girl or. No, I figured. What, it was an accident with a hot comb. You know what I mean? But, you know, well, if you're using.

[Devin Werkheiser]

A hot comb to straighten your pubes. I don't know, straightening the pubes redeem. I'm.

[Drake Bell]

Wait, you're older. My child is actually 30 because.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Because she had pubes. Which, by the way, people can mature at all different levels of their life.

[Drake Bell]

It's not a blood. Yeah, there's a. There's a spectrum of age range and things. Oh, my God.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Not to mention she has a form of dwarfism. Are you an expert on what her.

[Drake Bell]

Body does when my child identifies as 35?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, it's a crazy program. It was very hard to watch that type of abuse. Crazy.

[Drake Bell]

Are they in jail now, those parents?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I think they're vibing. That's the thing about these documentaries. There's really no justice. It's just kind of like.

[Drake Bell]

Don't you think it is.

[Devin Werkheiser]

They probably can't go to the grocery store anymore.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Well, I mean, Town hall justice or Village Pitchfork justice is not the right kind of justice. I wonder about those things. If it's exploit, exploitation. I watched. Oh, did you watch? You like sad stuff?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I have a really hard time with it. But what is it?

[Drake Bell]

You'll hate it then. Adolescence. Oh my God. Four. It's four episodes on Netflix. Thirteen Year Old Boy stabs a girl to death.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh my God.

[Drake Bell]

And it's just the aftermath of the. The trial or the investigation? The trial. The parents, the school, the community. It's like devastating. It's good, though, which is great for Netflix because they really need a win. They got. They're pumping a lot of turds out of that shit factory. Yeah, that Electric state, mama. I know we're not supposed to speak ill of our employer.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You're allowed to like what you like.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. I mean, and they encourage us to tell the truth. Yeah, it's not them anyways, it's.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I never feel, ever, ever feel censored at that job, ever. Not like here, where I'm told, you.

[Drake Bell]

Know, you're too sexy. Yeah, cover up. Cover that skin.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Exactly. Too sexy. So today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by via B Ya Via V I I A. Now, let me tell you, I know how to say via not because it naturally came to me. Okay. But because it really transformed the way I obtain THC products. You guys know I'm like a latent life weed person, right? So by the time Everybody knew how to do that. I kind of had to like, you know, figure this out on my own. And what I love about VIA is that it's changed the game in natural wellness. Combining high quality hempt derived ingredients with powerful cannabinoids to create real effect driven results. What I love about it is I think when it comes to your THC or cannabis or CBD experience, it's like, what do you really want? And you have to know what you want. Do you want better sleep? Do you wanna be a little more creatively focused? Do you want a little boost in the bedroom? Honestly, for me, I love it because after a stressful day of being in drag and making videos and running around, it's a great way for me to transition to me time where I'm just like cooking and maybe listening to a podcast and you know, unraveling after a day of, you know, raveling myself. And I love it because the levels can be zero to, you know, high cannabis cannabinoid levels and there's options for everyone. So whether you're like me where like you kind of want the training wheels or you're like my, you know, my mom who pretty much can take a heavy hit and keep kicking. So if you're 21 plus treat yourself to Via's annual Spring 420 sale Black Friday level savings up to 35% site wide right now, up to 50% off packs and bundles and get a free gift plus more savings with your first order using our exclusive Code Bald at the link in the description. Plus enjoy free shipping on orders over $200. Like I said, one of my favorite things about it is that it's so customizable. If you're like me and you don't maybe have a high tolerance, it's great because you feel taken care of. You can enter your experience feeling like you're set up for Success. If you're 21+, check out the link to Vi in our description and treat yourself to Via's annual Spring 420 sale. Black Friday level savings up 35% sitewide right now with 50% off packs and bundles and get a free gift plus more savings with your first order using our exclusive code BALD+ enjoy free shipping on orders over $100. So that's code Bald at the link in the description Description. After you purchase, they ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them we sent you. Enhance your everyday with Viya.

[Sponsor Voice]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. By the time you hear about a data breach Your information has already been exposed for months. On average, companies take 277 days to report a breach. That's nine months where hackers have access to your personal data. Your name, address, phone number, even your Social Security number before you even know it's out there. Think about it. Nine months is enough time for criminals to open accounts in your name, rack up debt and disappear. All while you're left dealing with the mess. And when the company finally tells you it's too late, the damage is already done. Data breaches aren't slowing down, they're getting bigger. And the delays in reporting them aren't helping. Right now, your personal information could already be on the dark web and you wouldn't even know it. How long do you want to wait before taking action? That's why we're thrilled to partner with Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. Additionally, Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance, offering a robust safety net in the event of a worst case scenario. Aura goes the extra mile by scanning the dark web for your sensitive info and alerting you instantly if anything is found. And if ID theft strikes, no need to panic. Aura's US based 24.7broad resolution team works around the clock to fix it fast and get you back on track. Aura is a complete online safety toolkit which includes a variety of other features to keep you safe online including a VPN for secure browsing data broker, opt out to stop companies from selling your personal information, a password manager to help you create and store strong passwords and more. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.comdefense that's aura.com defence to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a U R A Certain terms apply so be sure to check the site for details.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Hey everybody.

[Drake Bell]

My name is Bob the drag queen. And I'm Monet X Change and we are the host of Sibling Rivalry. This is the podcast where two best friends gab talk smack and have a.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Lot of fun with our black queer selves. Yeah, for sure.

[Drake Bell]

And you know we are family so.

[Devin Werkheiser]

We talk about everything honey. From why we we don't like hugs.

[Drake Bell]

To black lives matter to interracial dating, to other things. Right Bob? Yes.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And it gets messy and we are.

[Drake Bell]

Not afraid to be wrong.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So please join us over here at silverbribery. Available anywhere you get your podcast.

[Drake Bell]

You can listen and subscribe for free.

[Devin Werkheiser]

For free, honey. In the spirit of transparency, I didn't know what we were going to talk about today, so I took it upon myself to use my own money to go down to the El Capitan Theater and see Snow White this morning.

[Drake Bell]

Hold on. I'm gonna do this. Okay, here I go. Here we go.

[Devin Werkheiser]

10Am showing on Hollywood Boulevard.

[Drake Bell]

Okay, here we go.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So can I just say, it's not for you. It has everything you wouldn't like. It has singing shit. It has good feelings.

[Drake Bell]

You had me at Gal Gadot singing. Yeah, yeah, tell me everything.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You know. I went. Cause I really thought it was gonna be the ultimate stinker. And I was like. I was like, yeah, you were heading here and like, get a good story for you.

[Drake Bell]

You brought toilet paper, didn't you? Yeah, it wasn't.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It wasn't bad enough to be funny bad. It was just. It never really took off for me.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Never took off for me. Yeah, that a really, like, earnestness and like musical theater vibes to like that.

[Drake Bell]

How was. How is the singing for Ms. Godot?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh, I mean, well, Rachel Ziegler is an incredible singer.

[Drake Bell]

Is she really?

[Devin Werkheiser]

That's kind of not negotiable. She's a great.

[Drake Bell]

Okay, I didn't know. I don't know anything about her.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And it's a retelling. This is super spoiler. None of the people who listen to us are going to see that. Maybe they are.

[Drake Bell]

Are the dwarves all 35?

[Devin Werkheiser]

They are all animated.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, I don't like that. They're mixing and matching.

[Devin Werkheiser]

They're all animated. So it's Polar Express vibes with the faces. I mean, they're animated.

[Drake Bell]

I don't like that.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Really good animation. I thought, well, then why don't we.

[Drake Bell]

Make the people animated? You don't have to hire Gal Gadot then.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, there was a little person in the movie who played a, like a hero character.

[Drake Bell]

Okay. Oh, so they're okay, that's interesting.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So the Dwarves were not little people. The dwarves were creatures. Yeah, they were hundreds of years old.

[Drake Bell]

They were creatures. Okay, so they were non human.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, they're not human. So when they see her, they go, oh, my God, it's a human.

[Drake Bell]

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. And she's like, oh, my God, it's a creature.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

You are not Peter Dinklage.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And when she sees them, she's not scared.

[Drake Bell]

Okay.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You know, she's like, oh, hello.

[Drake Bell]

Hey, and how. What is their relationship? How would you characterize it?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, can I say Gal Gadot looked cunt, of course, because she got her head to toe jeweled in the gown.

[Drake Bell]

I saw the drag queen jewelry neck thing. Mary, it's cunty.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The girls at Mickey's are hot gluing right now.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, and Morgan, Michael, literally, the girls are getting ready. Black smoke is churning out into the atmosphere right now.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yes, I know the girls are ready to do their Dangerous Woman number or something.

[Drake Bell]

They just better not do the actual song from her.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I would say the song had an Amelia Perez vibe. I'm gonna be honest. Really, it did.

[Drake Bell]

I'd like to know about your seven little creatures.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I thought some of the music was really nice. There was a song called Waiting on a Wish that I liked, but I kind of Can I also say Rachel Ziegler is a very beautiful woman. They have her in this Lord Farquaad cut. That is so diabolical.

[Drake Bell]

Sweetie. They have. They have stacks. She does deserve cards against her. Like they. Like they made her play at a penalty. Like they gave her a golfing handicap. I was like, why are you doing that to Miss Sinnoh white girl?

[Devin Werkheiser]

So I liked some of the songs. The Good Things Girl, the opening song, Waiting to Wish. That was great. Obviously in some of the old shit. Hi ho slaps. I don't care who you are. It's off to work we go.

[Drake Bell]

Gotcha. Go. Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Sucking on it. Sucking on it. Titty, titty, titty. It was. That was fun.

[Drake Bell]

Giving them. Giving them. Giving them blowjob. This is a missed opportunity to hire Ms. Lana Del Rey and have her and. No, because they. They missed it in Priscilla. They missed her scheduling conflict. I'm sure they missed. They did it in Maleficent. She did one of the songs. She should have sang all of her songs and she should have lip synced like the old days.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's. I mean, it wasn't. To be honest, I think that the. I was expecting it to be a complete mess. It just doesn't lift off the way you want it to.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

But obviously, live action. I tend to never like that anyway. So I'm not the. I didn't like Beauty and the Beast. I don't, like, care for that.

[Drake Bell]

I know. I don't understand why they're doing it. Like, why. I guess. Oh, existing ip. Existing ip. Let's just like, people know it. People know it. But, like, I don't know.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It was just. And also I went into it knowing I'm not a child. There was Children in the theater, they loved it.

[Drake Bell]

Did they really like it?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah. So why I'm not there to hate it at all. Yeah. But I really thought Gal was gorgeous. They got her in the good drag makeup and she is so. And how many people look good with their hair gone and just a nun like cut out of the base?

[Drake Bell]

But wait, there was a girl on TikTok, she was like. She was like, Gal can not sing, she cannot act. And she even struggles to stand there sometime.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You know, she. I. I don't love the portrayal cuz I can kind of forgive actors who aren't super actors doing singing a movie.

[Drake Bell]

And that's.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's all Melody to hell. What does that mean? It's so autotuned. It all gives glee. Like it's all just. Yeah, that level. Like pop singing.

[Drake Bell]

Anyway, you saw around the Crown and just. Thank you. What did they do when they changed CeeLo's fuck you to Gwyneth Paltrow's Forget you.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Bless you.

[Drake Bell]

That was a real weird one. Melodyne. That's a new one for me.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The auto tune Melody. It's like a tool. Okay, so it just wasn't for me. But Gal Gadot had the good. When she first came out, she's standing in front of this mirror and there's this magic shit happening and she's doing the mirror, mirror. I was like, oh, my nipples are hard.

[Drake Bell]

Yes, because she really is. But also in that story, she's too cunty because she's like fierce. Obviously she's the fiercest of them all. What's the problem?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, it was a kind of a reimagining the storyline. She's not saved by a prince, she's saved by like a poor person who sounds woke. Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Yes, very woke.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And then they're together. Like let's. Let's take. Let's make sure everyone's happy again. You know, it's very sweet.

[Drake Bell]

So. But she wasn't jealous. She wasn't very jealous. Like a rat searching around for food.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She's jealous of the beauty. That's the main thing.

[Drake Bell]

But she has the beauty. I don't know what comes to the.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Mirror says that Ms. Snow White is prettier and so she gets cooked and plucked.

[Drake Bell]

The mirror ages Snow White, she says that's the 35.

[Devin Werkheiser]

No, the mirror goes. Well, she's. You're not giving anymore because this, you know, Snow White, who is the.

[Drake Bell]

She's up and coming. Legendary.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, legendary children who got the good face smash in Turkey. And now she's giving the girls the boop.

[Drake Bell]

She's got. Her plugs have healed. It's curtains for you, maybe.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And none of them fell out.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. What are you hiding underneath that?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Give up, jobless. Give up, jobless. Keep crying, jobless. So it was fine. It wasn't for you. But I didn't walk out. I stayed till the end.

[Drake Bell]

That's impressive because I. I do be walking out of theaters these days if it do stink.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Like, the only thing I missed was in the cartoon, which I do love. When they kill the queen, she's as the old hag. Yeah. And she falls off the cliff, I believe. Right. And she screams and it's scary as hell.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. She's one with the apple.

[Devin Werkheiser]

That wasn't very scary.

[Drake Bell]

Did she have an apple or.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She had an apple.

[Drake Bell]

I was going to say it was a banana or something.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She had an apple. It was just. It was a green juice.

[Drake Bell]

It was very L. A. Oh, my God. She like. Here's a turmeric shot.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She came door to door with a wellness shot.

[Drake Bell]

It's one of those vitamin B tour shots.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah. I don't think it was as bad as everybody said, but it kind of prevented. When you're not scared of the evil thing, it makes the stakes feel lower.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She didn't really scare me.

[Drake Bell]

Also, the hag portion of that is the fun of that character because you see her in different iterations. Like, I remember Sigourney Weaver was Snow White. She played a version a Hague. And the hag was fierce, fierce, fierce. I watched a movie that you give me Marla Hooch. Yeah. A lot of night games.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

But like.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Or give me a. Like. Not Alyssa sue, but the one before where Demi's bald.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The.

[Drake Bell]

The club foot in the room.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Get her down here.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. Yeah. I mean, more hags love hags. Speaking of hags, Andrew's show last night. Cunty.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh, How'd it go?

[Drake Bell]

It was really good. So it was a one night with Aster. Also. The nerve of him to have merch. Just. That's amazing. Like, all I blinked and there were T shirts, girl. And they were so glittery and kind.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I do drag. 12 years.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. I'm like, so this is my 20th year in drag. 18th year trying to sell shit. Can't come up with a good. Whatever. It was amazing. He did. He did a very, very poignant and stirring rendition of a Judy Garland song that brought tears to the eyes of its people. I don't remember, but it was amazing. Perfectly delivered. And he Looked so beautiful. I was worried because solo show, you never know.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Mary, you don't even know about our solo show.

[Drake Bell]

Mama, I don't want to talk about my solo show.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I don't either.

[Drake Bell]

He was incredible. And it was the. It was. It made me want to do drag. That's how you know.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Wow.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Wait. Oh, wait. Oh, my God.

[Drake Bell]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Lately, I've been spiritually feeling dragged, but physically completely against it. I love everything about the corset and the tights. The problem is, lately it hurt. It's just been hurting. And my back hurts. My arthritis hurts. So the drag on top of that.

[Drake Bell]

It'S insult to injury.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I get in such a foul mood.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I just get such a foul mood.

[Drake Bell]

That's like when. That's when you. When you're. When it's so painful and you're like, I.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Like.

[Drake Bell]

I'm a sad clown. I'm an angry. I'm an angry. Like, Bugs Bunny or something. It's just so, so corny.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's corny. Booze.

[Drake Bell]

It's corny. It's corny. Corny.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, it's corny. Boots, like.

[Drake Bell]

I took my corset off. We did Netflix the other day and had my corset on for quite a long time, and it had started to affect the organs in my body. I felt.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, yeah. No, it really did. It does.

[Drake Bell]

The. This is so gross. I'm. I won't. I took it off, and as I'm taking it off in my tights, off. Flatulence is expelling from my body in the most, like, stepbrothers kind of Farelli Brothers movie kind of way. You know, it's like. It's like the Gro. Shallow how Kind of bathroom humor. It was so gross. It was so embarrassing. But I couldn't help it because I was like, it is what it is. Disgusting. Totally gross. Because it was all, you know, can.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I tell a story? And you might. We can cut it if we have to.

[Drake Bell]

Okay.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you remember what happened in Amherst? I went in your dressing room, and you were standing there in drag, and you went, oh, I farted. I heard it.

[Drake Bell]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Did you. And I said, yeah, you heard it.

[Drake Bell]

I don't remember that. Wait. I farted. And it made sense.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You were in drag and you went. I farted. I just heard it.

[Drake Bell]

I just heard.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I just heard.

[Drake Bell]

We've just received word.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Are you ran through? Is your whole ran through.

[Drake Bell]

Is your anus discolored and ran through? It was just like my whole body Was ran through and then it had release. The moment of release was like the other day.

[Devin Werkheiser]

This is two days ago, we were shooting at Netflix and It was almost 5 o'clock and I was starting to just reject the drag. Your body starts to. Your involuntary reaction is to tear off the wig.

[Drake Bell]

It's physical, spiritual, emotional. It's a full rejection.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You fight the urge to rip off the wig and the corset. And our director, who we love, goes, come on, it's not even 5:00. And my immediate thought was I started putting glue on my face. On my face.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

At 6:30 this morning. Oh man, that's still.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, it's 5:00 somewhere.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Mary, I recently had an opportunity for a work thing and I said I.

[Drake Bell]

Was turned to town.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, yes.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, huge if true.

[Devin Werkheiser]

But I first wasn't going to.

[Drake Bell]

Okay, tell me about.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It was supposed to be. And I won't say what it is so I can be more clear about it. I was supposed to be one shoot day. We were supposed to do one shoot day. And I said, okay. And then they said, well, now it's a shoot day and a practice day the day before. And I said, well, baby. And then they said, well, we need you to come and drag for cameras and lighting and you do social the day before. I said, well, that's a two day shoot. And then they said, the day of the shoot we will need you in makeup shooting 8:30am to 8:30pm And I said, you must not know about me. I literally, I just was like, I suddenly felt the spirit of you and these big demonic wings blew out of my back and I said ca caw. And just fled the situation. That.

[Drake Bell]

Because I was like, is that what you want? Because let me tell you, you're never going to get it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I said, get on the phone, get one other girls, get miss for Mic a table or whatever else, get them to do it with. Also mic a tabletop down here.

[Drake Bell]

It's not plausible, probable or possible. Yeah, you know, 12 hours. No, no, no.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You're.

[Drake Bell]

You're dealing with fantasy. You want when you got to do animation.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you know what it makes me think of? The beginning of True Blood where it's the time lapse of like the fox rotting.

[Drake Bell]

I don't remember.

[Devin Werkheiser]

That's me. 12 hours.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, I told you I look pretty.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Good after 12 hours because I don't have a beard.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, sweetie, you don't want to know.

[Devin Werkheiser]

About this attitude after 12 hours in drag. You don't want to know about it. I Don't want to know about it.

[Drake Bell]

I know. Nobody needs to. If you're cold, they're cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. I'm. I was thinking about that the other day, and I'm like, fuck, what is my window of freshness in drag? I think it's under two hours now.

[Devin Werkheiser]

That's fierce.

[Drake Bell]

I think it's like a 90 minute window, love. Because also it takes two hours to get right.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, I explained this to somebody. I said, you know, the thing is, in the beginning of drag, at most you're in drag like an hour and ten. The drag shows I wear were 90 minutes.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And you're only out there two lip syncs that are three minutes long, 12 minutes maybe. You're out there 10 minutes.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah. 1012 minutes.

[Devin Werkheiser]

That is so different.

[Drake Bell]

That's fucking crazy.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Than the RuPaul drag. That is like just 12 hours on camera. But, you know, I'm about that life.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. But you know what, though? I still think about this all the time. I would. My primary fear before going on RuPaul's Drag Race was sweating. I was like, I'm gonna be. I'm. I was like. It kept me up at night. I was like, I'm not gonna be able to. I'm gonna. I'm not gonna survive. I'm not gonna survive. It's gonna be. I'm. Look, I'm just gonna be wet the whole time. Cut to set and it's 45 degrees.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Right?

[Drake Bell]

But there's something. It must be the lighting there. Is it the lighting? Because I. We did 10 hour days.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Some days it's adrenaline.

[Drake Bell]

No, no, no, no.

[Devin Werkheiser]

No situation.

[Drake Bell]

No, but I'm looking. I'm just saying as a person looking at the makeup, I don't see the nasty as much.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's the lighting. It's the filters.

[Drake Bell]

It's the lighting. Right?

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's the filters. It's the lighting.

[Drake Bell]

Because we were.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And you weren't 42.

[Drake Bell]

No, but I was 32. And I wasn't wearing any makeup. Cause I thought I was like a girl.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You really had no makeup on. Did you even contour?

[Drake Bell]

I was like this.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You didn't contour one 301 lashes like this.

[Drake Bell]

301. 101 cut in half. No, I mean, it was. I wore 111s or two 10s or the whatever, not 301s.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Fierce.

[Drake Bell]

I really thought I was like, hi, I'm a girl. Everybody was like, what?

[Devin Werkheiser]

No blush, no eyeshadow, like, nothing.

[Drake Bell]

No, I did experiment with eyeshadow at some time. At some point. At some point. Oh, but I did go to the. The trouble of making nails.

[Devin Werkheiser]

We didn't look great like I did.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, it's true.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You didn't look incredible like I, I.

[Drake Bell]

Was, I was unforgettable. Unforgettable.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you know I mean pieces of jewelry and shoe that shoes I had. Do you know I had like three.

[Drake Bell]

Pairs of white shoes and that's it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I had white shoes that I would spray paint and I had a few sets of jewelry. I either had my shitty plastic Claire's jewelry or drag queens had borrowed me. Giant pageant like platters. So there was no middle. Do you want a ring the size of a serving plate or do you want flares like plastic magic eight ball ring?

[Drake Bell]

Why did I wear a black wig every episode? Why did I wear a short.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Why did you wear a black wig?

[Drake Bell]

Why did I wear a short black $34.99 finger wave wig every single episode? Never wore black wigs in my whole career. I go and don't do the thing that I do and then I wear black wigs. What is that? What is that?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Identity. It's identity.

[Drake Bell]

Up in the air I was like, who? Like Jessica? No, I'm Marie.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, it was so fun. Have you ever been to the El Capitan Theater? Yeah, they had it all decked out for Snow White. I guess when you go see Disney, is it all themed? It was all Disney themed in there. There was a little hut.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, I don't know.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Maybe it was because of the premiere. Oh.

[Drake Bell]

Cause yeah, they did the same thing with the Nosferatu. They had a hearse and a coffin and all that shit.

[Devin Werkheiser]

In the theater.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, no, not outside it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh, so cool.

[Drake Bell]

But that was at the TLC Grauman's Chinese Theater.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I think it is TCL, I like to say TLC. If there was a movie theater that just screened TLC shows.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, that'd be cunt.

[Devin Werkheiser]

My 2000 pound mother.

[Drake Bell]

My, you know, my 4000 pound boss.

[Devin Werkheiser]

90 minute fiance.

[Drake Bell]

90 minute 90 pound fiance.

[Devin Werkheiser]

My 2000 pound mother. Yeah. 4000 pound brothers, girl. All the good ones. Amisha. Loving it. That sounds like. Honestly, I didn't know I was £2,000. My £9,000 baby. I didn't know I was pregnant with. Yes, girl. Woo.

[Drake Bell]

Oh shit. Yes. Yes, girl.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Extreme Rum Springer.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, they just die.

[Devin Werkheiser]

No, they throw them out of helicopters and stuff. With the bonnet on. Rum Springer.

[Drake Bell]

Jerry Rum Springer, the Amish. Fire up the helicopter.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Absolutely. We're gonna take six Amish people about to turn 20 and we're gonna drop them into a live fire war zone.

[Drake Bell]

Into an active volcano inside. See what happens when things get real?

[Devin Werkheiser]

O, girl, this sounds like another TLC show. Oops, I'm trans. We're going to kidnap people and give them. We're going to kidnap Republican. We're going to kidnap conservatives and make them put them under the night.

[Drake Bell]

From Red Hat to Red Hot.

[Devin Werkheiser]

My bad. My terrible. My terrible skin. Colon. Stephanie's journey.

[Drake Bell]

What about the swan? How about the goose?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Swan, of course.

[Drake Bell]

But what about. Because it's the mallard, it's woke now.

[Devin Werkheiser]

The mallard.

[Drake Bell]

The mallard or the goose?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Where are the swan girls? I bet all those veneers popped right off, sweetie.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, yeah. It's Homeless not toothless or Toothless not homeless.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Right.

[Drake Bell]

What is that from, by the way?

[Devin Werkheiser]

It's from Real Housewives. There's a. There's a charity called Homeless Not Toothless, where they help unhoused people with their teeth.

[Drake Bell]

Okay.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And she accidentally calls it Toothless not homeless. Toothless, not homeless.

[Drake Bell]

Which is fine.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, I think her heart was in it, but. Yeah, you gotta say it, right? You gotta say it, right, Right, right, right, right.

[Drake Bell]

What do you think about Mario Lopez? Would you. Him?

[Devin Werkheiser]

You know, I saw him at event once.

[Drake Bell]

You did?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yes. One of. He's friends with Vanderpump.

[Drake Bell]

Okay.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And I saw him at one of her galas, and I sat by him at the table.

[Drake Bell]

Does he talk different when he's not on the.

[Devin Werkheiser]

He didn't talk much, but he just looked, what, about 18?

[Drake Bell]

Wet?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yes.

[Drake Bell]

Gorgeous. Young and wet.

[Devin Werkheiser]

His wife cut up his food for him and gave the plate back, which I found kind of, like, sweet.

[Drake Bell]

That's fun.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Romantic partners cutting up the food and giving back. I thought that was sweet.

[Drake Bell]

I think it's probably portion control. She's, like, keeping tabs on his weight.

[Devin Werkheiser]

She said, no more.

[Drake Bell]

She said, I'll get this fatty.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, I have off this weekend.

[Drake Bell]

What are you gonna do? You're gonna work somehow?

[Devin Werkheiser]

No, I was gonna go camping.

[Drake Bell]

Ew. Wait, why? Just to do what kind of. Is it glamping or camping?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I was gonna rent one of those, like, small campers and drive it into the desert. Sounds like suicide, now that I say it out loud. I was gonna cook some meth. You know what I was planned in your college, Pinkman. Grab some beakers and cook some meth.

[Drake Bell]

I'm gonna moonlight as a crystal maker. Damn.

[Devin Werkheiser]

My street name is gonna be called Dr. Cook. Yeah. Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

What would Your Breaking Bad name be. Oh, what is his name? Walter White. Yours would be, like.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Not Weinstein.

[Drake Bell]

No, no, no. Pinkerton. Jesse Pinkerton. Pinkton.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Jesse. It's Jesse Pinkman.

[Drake Bell]

Pinkman.

[Devin Werkheiser]

But then he's Mr. Heisenberg. He's Heisenberg. Heisenberg.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what is the guy who owns the chicken?

[Devin Werkheiser]

The.

[Drake Bell]

The evil chicken guy?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Oh, Gus Fring.

[Drake Bell]

Gus Fring. What a character.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Love him.

[Drake Bell]

Love him. Giancarlo Esposito, I believe, is the same. He eats. He chomps. He chomped in that one.

[Devin Werkheiser]

He's so good.

[Drake Bell]

Here, would you. Would be something like. Pookie. Pookie. I don't know.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Pookie Wilson.

[Drake Bell]

Pookie Wilson.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah, Pookie Wilson and the Crystallettes.

[Drake Bell]

There you go. Yes. Yes, girl.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So now I got off. I got off for the weekend.

[Drake Bell]

You're not gonna go camping? I wouldn't go camping.

[Devin Werkheiser]

These are my plans.

[Drake Bell]

Don't do it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I'm gonna deep clean my bathroom.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, wow.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I'm gonna throw away expired products.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, God.

[Devin Werkheiser]

You know. Yeah. I'm gonna deep clean my spice cabinet. Throw away spices.

[Drake Bell]

This is cunty.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And, you know, gotta. Gotta consolidate a lot of stuff in my basement.

[Drake Bell]

I love this idea.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Isn't this a fun story for the pod?

[Drake Bell]

No, I think. I don't care. I think it's great.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I.

[Drake Bell]

You know what?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I think I'm gonna do a little weed and do this. Do you think that'll help?

[Drake Bell]

No, no, no, no. You'll get. You'll start spinning around in one corner like a Roomba, right?

[Devin Werkheiser]

And you won't get. It's not going to help. My diet right now doesn't consist of me changing my diet, but just consists of me talking about it a lot.

[Drake Bell]

Okay?

[Devin Werkheiser]

So I think if I do weed, I will also just.

[Drake Bell]

You'll eat the house down.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Because my current strategy.

[Drake Bell]

Expired products, of course.

[Devin Werkheiser]

No, don't do it. These pills are expired. My current strategy is to walk around the house and scream, stop eating. The way I talk to myself in the kitchen to try to get myself out of there.

[Drake Bell]

Don't do it, fatty. Really?

[Devin Werkheiser]

Delete it, fatty. Of course it's Sybil. I hear a voice. And it's my voice.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, no. Cause you're screaming and heard me.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I just heard it. I hear a voice. Go, step away from the fridge, Carol Ann. And I'm like, you should have. You should. I mean, all I've had is for baby Bell.

[Drake Bell]

What's that, Baby Bell?

[Devin Werkheiser]

The cheese that locks me up.

[Drake Bell]

You should have one of those cartoon punching bags that comes out of the fridge if you open it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Baby. I made lasagna on Friday. Then I had some Baby bell didn't have a bowel movement till Monday.

[Drake Bell]

That's a lot of cheese. That's a lot of cheese.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Saddled to the pot, praying to the Lord.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, damn. Pissing out your asshole.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I wish.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, are you kidding?

[Devin Werkheiser]

I pushed out a cinder block.

[Drake Bell]

Oh, my God. And then there's blood.

[Devin Werkheiser]

It was awful. I had to treat it like tofu. I had to kind of like wrap it in paper towel and cheesecloth and dehydrate it a little bit. Yeah. And then chop it up into little rectangles just to get it down. Isn't that horrible? What I just said? I hate the way I am.

[Drake Bell]

I think we get ended on that.

[Devin Werkheiser]

So sick.

[Drake Bell]

Every time we. We vow not to tell fecal eating stories, and yet. And yet all we do is talk.

[Devin Werkheiser]

About pooping and Amelia Perez. Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

And then eating the poop girl.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And then we have to sit here and say, well, I don't think that. I don't think that that singing was very good. It's not great. Like our pod where I talk about cleaning out the pantry. How am I gonna do the dough?

[Drake Bell]

Can't act. But I can talk about cleaning out my pantry.

[Devin Werkheiser]

How am I supposed to clean my pantry and not eat at the same time?

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

What is that?

[Drake Bell]

Do you expect me to not chop up my poop and eat it? Get out of here. You get out of here. Poop.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Poop. They gotta have some kind of diet. Diet thing where they. You can glue your mouth shut for the weekend.

[Drake Bell]

Are you talking. You get your jaw wired shut.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Well, I bought that book from that Amish girl, Lavina.

[Drake Bell]

Okay.

[Devin Werkheiser]

And there's an Amish cleanse in there.

[Drake Bell]

Well, you could do the saw trap that if you try to eat the baby bell, the thing goes.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Snaps right off.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you think it's the lemon? Cayenne pepper, maple syrup?

[Drake Bell]

No. No.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Do you think it's real?

[Drake Bell]

I know that it's real in the sense that people do it. I don't think it's healthy or effective, and I just think it's crazy.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

It's a form of self torture, self harm.

[Devin Werkheiser]

I gotta get back on the peloton, that's all. Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Just, you know, cut down a little bit. The simplest device is always the best. I'm the type of person that there's no magic formula.

[Devin Werkheiser]

There's no magic formula.

[Drake Bell]

You already know what to do.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Take the leg.

[Drake Bell]

You know what to do. That's what's so frustrating about it.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Yeah.

[Drake Bell]

Like with the food stuff, it's like, oh, I know I shouldn't eat the second full pizza, right? But I'm going to.

[Devin Werkheiser]

But I'm going to.

[Drake Bell]

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, well. Shit.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Kalel. No.

[Drake Bell]

Kalel. Yeah, enough champagne. Enough baby bell to fill the Nile. Goodbye.

[Devin Werkheiser]

Bye.

[Sponsor Voice]

This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Imagine waking up to find your bank account drained, bills for loans you never took out, a warrant for your arrest, all because someone committed a crime in your name. It sounds like a nightmare, but for millions of people each year, it's reality. And here's the scariest part. By the time companies tell you your data was stolen, it's already been nearly a year. 277 days. That's how long on average hackers have to use your Social Security number, open accounts, take out loans, and destroy your credit before you even know you've been exposed. By the time you get that breach notification email, the damage is done. Your identity stolen, your financial future at risk, and the company that lost your data, they'll just apologize and move on. Hackers aren't waiting. Why are you? This can all sound really scary. Which is why I'm so glad we're partnering with Aura. Hackers don't wait, so why should you? Aura monitors the dark web 247 for your phone number, email and Social Security number. Because the moment they show up for sale, criminals are ready to use them. If Aura detects your info, you'll get an instant alert so you can act before the damage is done. What if your identity is already stolen? Criminals can take out loans, max out credit cards and banish. That's why Aura provides up to $5 million in identity theft insurance and a US based fraud resolution team that works around the clock to shut down fraud fast and get your life back on track. Your personal data is a goldmine for hackers and Aura helps lock it down with a VPN for private browsing data broker opt out to stop companies from selling your info and a password manager to help secure your accounts. Aura gives you the tools to fight back. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.comdefense, that's aura.comdefense to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply so be sure to check the site for details.