Thank you for Choosing Bald Airlines with Trixie and Katya

Summary

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Episode: Thank You for Choosing Bald Airlines
Date: April 28, 2026

Episode Overview

In this uproarious episode, Trixie and Katya take listeners on a turbulent ride through the highs and lows of air travel, the ever-present absurdity of Los Angeles news, their evolving tastes in streaming TV and movies, and the relentless march of pop culture. Their signature blend of drag queen wit and existential humor pulses through spontaneous bits, personal anecdotes, and deep dives into “renaissance” life moments, all with their loyal friends (and occasional guests) chiming in.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. LA News & Societal Collapse

• Katya (02:54): Rants about LA’s lackluster news coverage, focusing on trivial topics while “the country is collapsing.”
  • Quote: “You're telling me the biggest news story is that Snoop Dogg has a ice cream truck? I'm like, weren't eight people [shot] today?”
• Trixie & Katya lampoon how “Big LA news is trying to protect us,” poking at the disconnect from reality.

2. Gossip, Secrets, and Drag Collusion

• Outlandishly fictionalized gossiping about ‘Kathy’ (Ariana Grande/Elphaba pseudonym) who knows everyone’s secret before it's told.
  • Katya (05:01): “Kathy already knows the secret before it's out of your mouth... she’s already live journaled it and sent it out to several blogs.”
• Peaches Christ also gets called a “queen of this”—a hilarious drag on drag meta-moment.

3. First Class vs. Coach—The Bald Airlines Saga

• Flight class drama: Mary/Trixie describes her “renaissance” (read: devolution) into coach flying and the brutal economics of air travel.
  • They break down the negligible differences between First Class and Comfort Plus on short flights, dispensing with airline glamour.
  • Katya (07:07): “We’re on puddle jumpers, Mary. Puddle jumpers, the seats... you get 2 inches of leg room.”
  • Memorable Bit: Grotesquely comic description of airline “service” including flight attendants “pulling back foreskin” and odd spa-based analogies.

The “Skymed” Future: Fantasy Spa Airlines

• Vision: High-end airline with an onboard medical team, spa treatments, IV drips, and mid-flight sedation.
  • Katya (10:50): “Imagine a concierge health spa experience in the air. You have nurse practitioners, an MD on the plane, and treatments.”
• First Class Emirates anecdote: Katya describes taking “two showers” and being attended by multiple flight attendants, joking about “three holes, like a pretzel.”
• Riff: On having propofol donuts and Sky-masked passengers (“Air Pookie” and “Crystal Air”).

4. Movie Outings & Drag-Themed Cinema Commentary

• Mary’s Double Date: Went to see “Lee Cronin’s The Mummy” with Juno Birch, resulting in digestive adventures due to a laxative.
  • Quote: (29:45) “I just have to tell you guys, I took this medicine and I learned online that this is about to hit.”
• They spiral into a recurring joke about directors’ names on movie titles (“Lee Cronin’s The Mummy,” “Lee Daniels The Butler”), lampooning Hollywood’s brand fetish.

5. TV and Pop Culture:

• Euphoria Season 3
  • Katya (41:34): Describes the visual insanity and “color-drenched shit show” that is Euphoria’s latest season.
  • Critiques of casting much-older actors as “high schoolers”: “Alexa Demi doesn't count because she was 48 at the time of filming five years ago. Right now she's in her early 60s.” (49:00)
• The Boys and Superhero Media:
  • Discussion of overblown violence, depiction of “MAGA” analogues, and the quirks of character powers.
  • Katya (52:44): “I don't like the big long dick... that's not a superpower, that's a liability.”

6. Geek Culture Hype and Skepticism

• Excitement (and shade) for upcoming movies: “Mortal Kombat 2”, “Street Fighter”, and “The Hunger Games” prequel.
• Wild speculation about crossover castings (Paula Deen in Mortal Kombat) and who will snag premiere invites.
• Nicole Kidman as Death Doula (55:24):
  • Mary: “I think she'd actually be good at it... Nicole Kidman walking [in]—great distraction, number one. Number two, she has a wig on.”

7. Drag-Queen Existentialism & Internet Comedy

• RuPaul Instagram Reels as instant depression cures:
  • Katya (60:09): “I pop on reels by Ms. RuPaul.com... Prozac threw it away, girl. Wellbutrin. Gone. Crushed in the trash.”

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On LA news’ priorities (02:54):
  • Mary: “Catalina Island... that’s all, like, outside of LA. So I don't know when I get on the news in LA, and I will, I have notes.”
• On the cost of air travel (18:28):
  • Mary: “A round trip flight LA to London right now in first class is like 12,000. Easily 17 grand.”
• On fictitious airline spa treatments (19:26):
  • Katya: “You have a dedicated nurse practitioner, MD on board... giving you IV drips, vitamins, whatever. And then... you go to sleep.”
• On older actors in Euphoria (49:00):
  • Katya: “Now, Alexa Demi doesn't count because she was 48 at the time of filming five years ago. Right now she's in her early 60s.”
• On big superpowers in The Boys (51:28):
  • Katya: “I don't like the big long dick... that's not a superpower, that's a liability.”
• Nicole Kidman as your death doula (55:24):
  • Mary: “She has a wig on. She says, what wig do you want to wear?”
• On RuPaul’s Instagram as antidepressant (60:09):
  • Katya: “I just pop on reels by Ms. RuPaul.com... Prozac threw it Away, girl. Wellbutrin. Gone. Crushed in the trash.”

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |-----------|----------------------------------------------------------------| | 02:54 | LA News Rant & Collapse of Society | | 05:01 | Kathy the Gossip & Drag Queen Confessions | | 06:28 | Coach vs. First Class: The Joys of Modern Flying | | 10:50 | Skymed Airlines: Med/Spa Air Fantasy | | 17:39 | Discussion of Airfare Economics & First Class | | 28:33 | Trixie's Laxative Adventure & Lee Cronin Movie Chat | | 39:05 | Movie Reviews: “Mother Mary” & Cinematic Tangents | | 41:34 | Euphoria Season 3: Visual Madness & Cast Satire | | 50:03 | “The Boys,” Superhero Satire, and Fetishized Powers | | 55:24 | Nicole Kidman as Death Doula – The Ultimate Reboot | | 60:09 | The Power of RuPaul’s Instagram Reels for the Soul |

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Conclusion

This endlessly quotable, irreverent episode captures the signature brand of Trixie and Katya: tangential, theatrical, and deeply funny. They serve up bittersweet truths about fame, comfort, and being a “certified hater” in entertainment—while always keeping the beauty in the bald insanity.

Transcript

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[Katya]

Hey, Boston. Hey, Woburn. Hey, Swampscott. Hey, Revere. Hey, Malden, Allston, Brighton? Anybody in the sea line, the green line, the red line, the orange line? Anybody in Nantucket? Martha's Vineyard? Anybody in Lynn? Anybody in Quincy? The Cape P. Town, whatever, Brewster. Do not forget that we have added a second show on May 17.

[Juno]

The first show sold out very fast,

[Katya]

so get your tickets to the second [e-mail]. you're not better than me. Get your tickets.

[Mary]

You guys. I just want to extend a message of hope. Nick, our editor is sick.

[Katya]

Lighters up for Nick.

[Mary]

Yeah, F. In the chat for Nick.

[Katya]

Airbrush shirts will be passed along.

[Mary]

Nick, I would say he had so much to live for, but he works here.

[Katya]

Yeah, he was. That's actually a relief for him and his family.

[Mary]

And you know what it is?

[Katya]

It's a boon.

[Mary]

It's the asbestos in the ceiling that I've been placing overnight. When we go home, I crawl up in there and I bring my own asbestos I paid for with my own money.

[Katya]

Thank you. Or it could be the arsenic gel that I've been putting on the keyboard. Yeah, well, because he loves to lick those little fingers after he types.

[Mary]

Oh, my God. That's kind of a funny. And look at Sid is here Sitting back there.

[Katya]

Oh my God, Sid.

[Mary]

Short for Sid Rock.

[Katya]

Sid Rock.

[Mary]

It's women in stem.

[Katya]

What is this short form?

[Ad Voice]

Sydney?

[Katya]

Okay, you've known that. No, I know that. I don't think, I don't think.

[Mary]

What's the. Sydney Thea. Sydney Thea, Sydney Thea girl. Can I tell you whose days are numbered? The LA news. I am still on my watching the news and I swear to God, in the second biggest city in the United States, this country is collapsing. It is wrought with violence and crime, and when I turn on the news, they're talking about on a Monday and it's 4:20. So you're telling me the biggest news story is that Snoop Dogg has a ice cream truck? I'm like, weren't eight people today? Yes, the LA news is.

[Katya]

Look over there, look over there.

[Mary]

LA news is. Doesn't. Is in bed with big, Big, big

[Katya]

gun, Big, low stress.

[Mary]

Big LA news is trying to protect us.

[Katya]

They're in bed with big calm.

[Mary]

I feel like a whistleblower because I live in Hollywood and I turn on the news and I see people basically hanging out of helicopters into the city.

[Katya]

Well.

[Mary]

And then I turn on the news and they're like, you guessed it, for 20, the new yogurt shop opened in Burbank.

[Katya]

Yeah. Breaking news. That taco stand on Virgil has gone on vacation, which it has, and I

[Mary]

was plucked, I know it can't be all negative things, but I do feel like over here on the L, A news, we also have to be real.

[Katya]

Well, the only positive thing about L, A is the weather. That's it, and they have a separate section for that.

[Mary]

And guess what? They don't even show L, A, they show like Catalina island, they show like the weather. They show is all like, outside of L, A. Yeah. So I don't know when I get on the news in LA and I will, I have, I have notes.

[Katya]

Are you transitioning before you do that

[Mary]

though, to the news, to the news? I'm transitioning to journalism, I have to tell you, I haven't, we haven't filmed in like so many weeks and I have so much to tell you about.

[Katya]

I do too, I want it. So there we have this mutual friend. Yeah, let's call her Linda. Kathy, let's call her Kathy, Kathy is.

[Mary]

We want to say Glenda because it's Ariana Grande and people will know.

[Katya]

Oh, right, right, right, Elphaba. Yes, you know Kathy with a C. Right. And Kathy is diabolical because if you, if you even think of a secret, if you even if, like, you. If you tell me something in confidence

[Mary]

and it's in its.

[Katya]

And it's serious and you have done this before where it's like, I have something to tell you and it's. And it's serious and it's not funny and blah, blah, blah. And if you give me that look, I know that I won't tell anybody.

[Mary]

Right.

[Katya]

But Kathy already knows the secret before it's out of your mouth. Yeah, that's how diabolical. And she's already live journaled it and sent it out to several blogs.

[Mary]

You know who's also the queen of this?

[Katya]

Who?

[Mary]

Peaches. Christ was like. Peaches was like, you called me a gossip on the pod. She's like, I heard that you called me a gossip. I was like, you're gossiping now, Ho. But the gas is gossip.

[Katya]

But Kathy cannot be enough. A restraining order from secrets need to be implemented. 500 mile radius, if any.

[Mary]

Can't tell her anything.

[Katya]

Information is. Is. Is offered. Also, she loves.

[Mary]

She outed me.

[Katya]

Yes.

[Mary]

She's the one who told people I was gay.

[Katya]

But not only that. She. She'll go through your medical history and then. Right. Which she somehow has access to.

[Mary]

She. Because she's my person. Who's my doctor. J Gun is my Covid doctor.

[Katya]

You have to subscribe to her onlyfans to get your results.

[Mary]

Yeah. Oh, my God. That's a boon. That's one medical if I ever heard of it.

[Katya]

Hello.

[Mary]

Hello.

[Katya]

Thank you.

[Mary]

Girl, we talk so much about one medical. When I do get sick and I go in there, my primary care physician, Patrick is gonna be like, I heard. Yeah, well, I heard you running your little mouth. Very.

[Katya]

My. My little formerly rich ass. Dire Straits. I like, roll up to solace Health mommy. They just. They roll out the red carpet.

[Mary]

Dire Straits.

[Katya]

Dire Straight. Dry Straits.

[Mary]

Which one of us flew coach recently?

[Katya]

X. Oh, let's get into that, tootsie.

[Mary]

Let's have that conversation. And you know what? I flew it again last week. Oh, I'm performative.

[Katya]

No flying.

[Mary]

I am going through a personal. Call me Beyonce, because it's my renaissance. I'm telling you guys, I believe this

[Katya]

is something the opposite of a renaissance. It's a devolution.

[Mary]

I'm telling you guys. Transformation first class is a fucking scandal and a rub.

[Katya]

Okay, wait, wait, wait.

[Mary]

It is not that great. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Delta Comfort plus kind of gives you what you need for not that much more money.

[Katya]

Now, this is a very relatable conversation relevant to every single one of our listeners. Not. But I have to. We have to distinguish first class. It's not that simple. We're on puddle jumpers, Mary. Puddle jumpers, the seats. You get 2 inches of leg room. Maybe you.

[Mary]

Dead peanuts.

[Katya]

Maybe you get an orange juice.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Or like a seltzer with a hair in it.

[Mary]

The flight attendant comes by, she pulls back my foreskin. She takes a little bit iodine on a Q tip, cleans off the crude. And then she puts a bucket hat on me and chokes me out. And I go to sleep. I get put down.

[Katya]

That's comfort plus.

[Mary]

And, you know, unless until first class. For what first class costs. And first class prices have gotten so astronomical. And for what first class costs until Michael Jackson's doctor is going to be coming seat by seat.

[Katya]

Sky Med. Sky man, how many times do I have to. This was what Fina and I were talking about in first class the other day.

[Mary]

Hello. And I could. I couldn't hear because I was in the back of the plane.

[Katya]

Plane, yeah. Where they were having a mariachi band practice.

[Mary]

I. You know.

[Katya]

On top of you, girl.

[Mary]

But you know what? Like, I was in the. I got the exit row seat, which obviously is fabulous. Exit row is amazing.

[Katya]

And baby mama, listen to me. On the 110, the 405, this was a puddle jumper. There were basically no differentiation between these seats.

[Mary]

Yeah, it's fine. It happened.

[Katya]

We were on tour, very small.

[Mary]

And Tracy goes, well, because we were delayed out of Canada for what, nine hours at the airport?

[Katya]

I think so. Yeah.

[Mary]

And finally they go, the good news is we all have seats on the plane. The bad news is one of you is not gonna be able to be in first class. And my boyfriend was traveling with us, so I was like, you know what? This is how we keep love alive. I. I volunteered as tribute. I felt like Katniss Everdeen.

[Katya]

I felt like you. You were Joan. I'm so sorry. You were Joan of Arc. She was a martyr. She was a victim. You were Norma Rae.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

You really stood up. And you. You, you. It's like you went to Vietnam.

[Mary]

Oh, I think I boarded before you. I think I boarded with the military vets. I was like, I'm getting on this plane.

[Katya]

Did you get the Purple Heart before or after the flight?

[Mary]

Well, I didn't know because they had put me to sleep. And the Purple Heart, I passed it.

[Katya]

Don't joke about that. Because this I know that these fucking technocrat billionaire oligarchs are already got their nasty little fingers typing on their. Whatever, their air computers about Skymed Right. And I am not going to be on the ground floor of that investment opportunity and I will be plucked.

[Mary]

But you don't have any money to put into it.

[Katya]

But it's my fucking idea.

[Mary]

I guess. But like, you think taking drugs in the sky is something you invented? Please don't gatekeep drugs.

[Katya]

It's not.

[Guest]

People do.

[Katya]

I know that. That's something people do. I'm talking about a spa experience.

[Mary]

Oh, right. I'm talking about the Jennifer Aniston.

[Katya]

Yes.

[Mary]

Smart Water.

[Katya]

And this is where the differentiate the different. The, the. The. Whatever you call it, differentiation between levels of first class depending on the airline and the flight. Say you've got. You're on a puddle jump. Ryanair, Ryanair, Air Lingus Aer. Lingus Ryanair. They got standup seats now.

[Mary]

Girl, I saw. I seen it. And it said it's $9.

[Katya]

Honestly, $9. What could go wrong?

[Mary]

But girl, you know what you do, though? They probably strap you in, you put on your Hannibal Lecter mask and just.

[Katya]

They're like nuts. You're like. You can't. Can't get them. They try to throw them through the holes.

[Mary]

Oh, my God. They drop the gas. The gas mask down. But that's. It's like a donut on a string, like at a carnival, and you just

[Katya]

like have to bob through the head.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

But then time flies. Time flies before you know, you're on the tarmac, girl.

[Mary]

And that's what they put the propanol propo on the donut.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

And that's how you get administered your.

[Katya]

Okay, so Air Pookie, I'm flying Air Pookies.

[Mary]

I'm flying Air Pooky.

[Katya]

Crystal Air. Crystal Air. No, no, no. So here's the. Here's the setup. And this is very. The ethic now. The, the. The. The pages and stacks and stacks of legal are just so enormous.

[Mary]

Right.

[Katya]

So that alone is going to be, you know, the medical waivers, all that shit. It's just going to be so much to get through. But if we Blade Runner into the future, say 50 years, 500 years, it's. Imagine a concierge health concierge spa experience in the air. So you have nurse practitioners, right? You have an MD on the plane, of course. And then you have treatments like so in a first class on an Emirates, which I. We were both at one time so privileged to fly. It is insane. It's truly insane. It's ultra luxury. It's outrageous. But you have a whole.

[Mary]

No Jennifer Aniston, though.

[Katya]

No, she was not there. But I took two showers. Yeah, but so in the showers were bigger than my, my apartment. By the way the took them home

[Mary]

with you, you know, took it right up the wall.

[Katya]

Imagine. So I had, I had three flight attendants tend to me. It was, it was like.

[Mary]

Well, one free toll.

[Katya]

Three pretzels like a. I got hole. I got three holes. Like a pretzels.

[Mary]

Three holes. You know which hole to use. Always. Sometimes. Never.

[Guest]

Sometimes the belly button is always.

[Mary]

No, I'm talking about one of my holes.

[Guest]

Oh, Always Sometimes.

[Mary]

Right.

[Juno]

Wow.

[Mary]

Pause.

[Juno]

That gave me pause.

[Mary]

I'll always do oral.

[Juno]

That gave me pause.

[Mary]

Sometimes I'll use my wiener. And I will never use my butt.

[Katya]

That gave me pause.

[Mary]

Let's take a break.

[Juno]

By the time May arrives, something in me finally starts to thaw. The light changes, the air softens, and suddenly I feel an almost urgent need to go somewhere scenic. This spring, I'm planning a trip to Portland, Maine, where I found a home on Airbnb that feels like the perfect home base for a few days of coastal renewal. I want to wander through the quaint old port neighborhood like I'm in a Nancy Myers movie. I'll be taking in the historic brick buildings in sea air and spending an afternoon on a lobster boat trip like I'm a salt drenched fisherman coming out of winter hibernation. I want amazing coffee, a buttery pastry, a little browsing in local shops, and the kind of region defining dinner that only Portland, Maine can offer. Spring travel has that effect. It feels like a reset, a gentle rebirth after the heaviness of winter. And when I travel, I want a place that actually lets me settle in and enjoy it. That is why I love booking on Airbnb. I want a real living room, to come back to, a kitchen for snacks and the occasional light breakfast, and enough space to fully unwind after a day of walking and exploring in the sea air. If I'm traveling with friends, it's even better because we can all stay together and share the experience instead of being split up in separate hotel rooms. And of course, once I start planning one spring trip, I immediately start thinking about the next. Whether it's one quick May escape or the start of a whole season of travel. Trips just feel more personal when you book through Airbnb. This episode is sponsored by Green Chef. As president of the Los Angeles chapter of the Porch Light Society, a fellowship of devoted food delivery loyalists who regard the stove as a decorative relic, I once believed every personal evolution and reinvention could be achieved by simply ordering Szechuan noodles under a new name. I tried Carb Exiles, Protein Obsessions and all the various dietary cults of modern despair that delivery promises none injured as quick fixes vanished. In the end, hunger remained. Then, on the 387th order of those same gorgeously lacquered noodles, I saw the bleak repetition of my own habits and repented. Green Chef arrived like a benevolent text by a wiser civilization and I am reborn. Every week they offer over 40 recipes made with organic produce, responsibly sourced proteins and ingredients that do not read like a chemistry final. You can choose Mediterranean High Protein or their new longevity line built around brain and gut health. Everything is pre portioned, ready in minutes and they even include free unlimited one on one nutrition coaching. Green Chef is the only certified clean meal kit tested by the Clean Label Project and the most sustainable meal kit with 20% less food waste and 100% offset delivery emissions. I use Green Chef and to all the members of your own local chapter of the Porch Light Society out there in podcast land, you should too. It has not merely changed how I eat, it has restored me to a former superior version of myself. I am finally free from the prison of expensive, unhealthy delivery. Head to greenchef.com 50 Bald and use code 50 Bald to get 50% off your first month. Then 20% off for two months. That's code 50 [e-mail] 50 Bald this ad placement is paid for by Bath and Body Works.

[Guest]

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[Katya]

okay, so just, just, just bear with me for two seconds or two minutes. So the, the, the, the ticket is astronomical. It's. So say it's.

[Mary]

They all are all first classes astronomical.

[Katya]

And they all fluctuate, which I don't understand how that's ethical. I don't want to get into it. But like depending, it's like, oh, we're, we're booking travel for two years in the future, it's going to be 18 grand.

[Mary]

Oh.

[Katya]

But then two days after that it's going to be 300. Girl, what the is that?

[Mary]

Or sometimes it'll be like the early flight is thousands of dollars less. And then if you fly a couple hours later, it's double $2 or.

[Katya]

Yeah, more. Yeah.

[Mary]

And so a lot of times when I buy my own flights, I be taking whatever's the cheapest. Like I'll take that hateful early flight because sometimes it's so much less money.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Now we're in a very fortunate position where like business class, like business people like those gross, nasty fat guys who drink margaritas at like 7 in the morning. Their companies pay for all these flights.

[Mary]

So do you understand how much? Like a round trip flight LA to London right now in first class is like 12,000. Easily 17 grand.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Crazy.

[Katya]

Yeah. But with Skymed we're bumping that up to 30. And here's why. You have a dedicated nurse practitioner, MD on board and in it. So they can say you have an 18 hour flight to Singapore, New York to Singapore. Longest flight you can take that is a long time. So in addition to wonderful food and everything, they're giving you IV liquid, IV drips, vitamins, whatever. And then, Mr. Mr. Mr. Rabinowitz, would you like to. Is it time for you to, you know, die? Not die, but like, they. And then they put a little volume in your IV and you go to sleep.

[Mary]

Well, they treat other things. Like, what if I get on the plane with, like, a fissure?

[Katya]

Yeah. Oh, or they do surgery, but it's in the back with the dancing, like in the lounge.

[Mary]

Right, right, right. It's very. Crimes of the future. People stand around the surgery.

[Katya]

You could. You can listen to it, but on headphones. Be respectful.

[Mary]

And Kristen Stewart's always there.

[Katya]

Yes. There's a guy, swing his eyes shut.

[Mary]

Yeah, like that. Putting ears on the forehead, wiggling.

[Katya]

No, but I'm telling you, it's like. Rather than. Because what really happens is rich people get on. They take their own goofballs, they have cocktails, and that's what the rich people do. Yeah.

[Mary]

People take the big fat value. Anybody have a glass of wine?

[Katya]

Yeah. It's like when I went to Australia, like four. Like three or four years ago, I took a whole Xanax, which is like 2 milligrams. It's a lot. And then I didn't have a cocktail. I don't drink, but I was out and maybe they told me, like, we thought you died. Like, I was dead. I, Like, I had the early. You know how you can, like, eat early and then go to bed?

[Mary]

Oh, yeah. You always get the early meal.

[Katya]

Yeah, because then it's drawn out and.

[Mary]

Yeah. It's too much. Although if it's a long flight, try to stay up for the meal because, like, it's. It's gonna be hard to sleep even in the flat seats, which are lovely. The flat seats on International is amazing.

[Katya]

I don't care if it's. It could be a wooden plank. It could be a plank with spikes. I will bring my padding. I will bring my drag padding. I will do anything. But the ability to lie horizontal cannot be overstated. That is an extreme luxury.

[Mary]

I just think. Honestly, lately I've been. Lately I've been thinking the comfort plus, you get the extra snacks, you get the extra drink service, you get extra legroom. You get the priority boarding. You even get your own dedicated, I think, bag area. I just think as far as, like, what's worth it. It's like, comfort plus is not that much more. And you get a lot.

[Katya]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Mary]

First class is so much More.

[Katya]

Yeah. And it's also. But it depends, though.

[Mary]

If they give you everything, you're still on a plane.

[Katya]

You're still on a plane. It sucks for even. Listen, I am so ungrateful. I'm such a piece of you are that even I can spy. Give me any situation that is the most. The. The. The best of any world, and I will tell you 10 things I hate about it. So. But on our puddle jumpers recently, these basketball players got on, and I have never felt so.

[Mary]

Oh, that's so. That's different.

[Katya]

Seven feet tall.

[Mary]

That's awesome.

[Katya]

Six. Six and above. They were literally, while they were walking onto the plane like this.

[Mary]

That's horrible. You didn't see them? No.

[Katya]

Oh, my God. There was like.

[Mary]

I was in the back.

[Katya]

No, they went to the back. They went to the coach or economy or whatever. They don't call it coach anymore. But they were literally having a hunch just to walk through. Imagine what it felt like sitting down, like, well, you know what I mean? That sucks.

[Mary]

I feel bad for them because even if they sat in the first class, it sucks if you're that tall, right?

[Guest]

Yes.

[Katya]

I hit my head three times. I always hit my head coming out of the ceiling.

[Mary]

I don't know what it is. Every time I get up, I hit my head on the ceiling. I. Everyone sees it. I don't react. My eyes are tearing because it hurts so bad, that blood in my face. No one says anything.

[Katya]

Three times. Both. Both flights. And I'm like, I swear I better not hit my head when I get up.

[Mary]

I just feel like I'm going through a renaissance with the airplanes where I'm like, they all suck. Every seat sucks. And the gouge is so fierce.

[Katya]

But why don't you get the.

[Juno]

The vendors and the bookers and the

[Katya]

promoters to pay for the gouge? Because they're all skimming and scamming. Everybody's scamming and scheming, I guess.

[Mary]

But on our trips, we pay for our own. It comes out of our own budget, you guys. If you see us in comfort plus, just know. No, we're loving it.

[Katya]

I did it for Fina because that woman, as she has now slimmed down dramatically and is living a very different life. I mean, imagine. Imagine she was.

[Mary]

Imagine the grip.

[Katya]

And also, we were delayed for so long. I'm fuming. I'm spiraling. I'm ready to have a gun and kill myself. She is living. She was so grateful, so happy just to, like, be up and, like, you know, have some, like, decent room And. And, you know, whatever.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

And I was like, damn, that's a great. That's a great lesson. Not to be a. Not to be a ungrateful bitch.

[Mary]

I was in the lovely exit row, and I. I was prepared to help

[Katya]

if that an emergency.

[Mary]

That's what I kept thinking as I got drunk.

[Katya]

I took all my pills.

[Mary]

Well, luckily, I had. There was gays who knew what our situation was. So the gay flight attendants kept coming back and being like, do you guys need extra snacks and drinks? I was like, yes, I do. Yes, I do, Jeannie, and thank you.

[Katya]

Do you need a little IV of Valium?

[Mary]

But if you're used to getting a glass of wine every time, it's. Every time it gets even close to empty, if you're used to a flight attendant refilling it, that's not what's going on back there in 21A.

[Katya]

No water. They just throw it.

[Mary]

You got to turn the. You got to turn the. I had to crack the exit door just to get the flight attendant to come over.

[Katya]

Can we get a little cross?

[Mary]

Breathe. Do you have any char today? It was, like, very bad.

[Katya]

I'll open it.

[Mary]

You bring that bottle over here. And they come. They bring in giving you room temp canned wine.

[Katya]

Oh, I. Is the.

[Juno]

That's a good question.

[Katya]

Is the alcohol any good on a flight?

[Mary]

I mean, no, but, like, booze is booze. Where are you gonna go? To the plane next door?

[Katya]

Boozes, Boobs.

[Mary]

Is it really?

[Katya]

Well, crystal champagne.

[Mary]

I mean, I don't know if you're on the plane.

[Katya]

The Belvedere playing tricks on you?

[Mary]

Well, you're not supposed to bring your own booze, and that's kind of a rub on the airplanes, too, because it's illegal to bring your own alcohol.

[Katya]

But can't you.

[Mary]

Of course I do it.

[Katya]

Wait, so you can't bring it through security, right, because it's a bomb, and

[Mary]

you can't drink your own alcohol on the plane. Like, even if you had the best intentions at the legal.

[Katya]

And it's duty for you, there's nowhere to buy it. You can't.

[Mary]

Yeah, they take the duty free before you get on the plate. If it's alcohol, I believe, because that's why you always see them handing you the bag. But they don't want people to be blacked out. And you already see all these videos of people on the plane, like, being belligerent.

[Katya]

Well, yeah, you just can't give people

[Mary]

unfettered access to alcohol, or they won't act. Right.

[Katya]

That's why the nurse practitioner, the psychiatric. The psychiatrist and the. The MD Psychiatrist and the MD physician are on board. They know what to do if you start acting all crazy. Mama. They just. They do a little propofol. I want it to be like strengths. They. They do the muzzle, right? Cashmere muzzle.

[Mary]

I want them to get mask, you know, latex, full body. Get things.

[Katya]

They. They suspend you.

[Mary]

Oh, yeah. Hooks in the back. I think it's very cenobite. It's very cinebite.

[Katya]

And there's a way, when you sign the waiver, there's in bold. If you don't act right, the chains

[Mary]

will come out, I think. I don't know. I mean, Sky. I want it to, like, be like Kathy Griffin in the Slim Shady video where, like, a nurse walks by with the little. Wait, what? Like a nurse.

[Katya]

Kathy Griffin in the Slim Shady video?

[Mary]

Yeah, she's in the real Slim Shady video.

[Katya]

The Eminem song.

[Mary]

Yes.

[Katya]

Kathy Griffin. Yes. Lean Griffin.

[Mary]

Yes.

[Katya]

What is she doing?

[Mary]

She plays the nurse. He's in a psychiatric hospital, and she plays the nurse.

[Katya]

Got it?

[Mary]

Right.

[Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Okay, I agree.

[Mary]

If I don't know about Kathy Griffin and her relation to Eminem, what do I know about. Let's see.

[Katya]

Oh, nice. Kathleen. Joanne Elizabeth Griffin.

[Mary]

Anyway, there's a part where I think she's like, they have, like, pills, and they have the Dixie cups, and they're just taking the pills and throwing them in the cups. I want the flight attendants to walk by in little nurse outfits with your Dixie cup of your goofballs. And then you swum. And then it's like, yeah, looney bin. Like, you're gonna show that.

[Katya]

Air rehab. That's another one. But see, here's the thing, though.

[Mary]

You get off the plane completely free of drugs.

[Katya]

No, no, see, that's the thing. If you. Now with the psychiatry, with a. With a. With a licensed medical doctor and a psychiatrist referral, you can get on, say you're going to Singapore for rehab. You are twisted. You're, you know, not a great space. 18 hours is a lot could happen in 18 hours. In terms of detox, detoxifying the body. Usually you're held for 24 hours in detox or two days.

[Mary]

Well, they're doing those cups, too. They do the back cups, the. The backups, the suction on the back, get those purple welts. And that's how the crack comes out of your skin. Right? The toxins girl.

[Katya]

They're doing acupuncture with.

[Mary]

They do the suction on the back. They take the cup off. They Scrape it off. They put that on some foil and they. It's a fentanyl patch.

[Katya]

And then. Yes. And then our. It's like, would you like to be woken up for breakfast or your coffee enema an hour before we land?

[Mary]

Oh, my God. It RuPaul's there giving people red wine colonics, don't you think?

[Katya]

Coffee enema.

[Mary]

Coffee enema.

[Katya]

Because when you land for your business meeting that starts in half an hour after the plane lands, you got to be pert and ready.

[Mary]

Can I tell you, I.

[Katya]

Where's all the go?

[Mary]

I got so constipated last week.

[Katya]

Me too.

[Mary]

I'm reaching a point in my life where I just don't think I can have cheese.

[Juno]

Wait, wait.

[Katya]

No, of course you can't.

[Mary]

It just stops me up entirely.

[Katya]

Cheese is bad.

[Mary]

So I think I have to go on the cheese. Gotta. Well, don't get to go.

[Katya]

No, I don't have cheese. I have live a cheese free life and I'm perfect.

[Mary]

I had to drink something that you got from CVS that you drink this whole water, this. This fluid, and then it tells you, like in 30 to 30 minutes to five hours, you will have a movement Milk of magnesia. And I know it was something crazy and it was like something citrate. Something citrate. And I googled it and it said, like, I was reading Reddit, like, has anybody tried this? Does it help when you're stopped up? The comment was like, when this hits, you're about to. You better be home.

[Katya]

Lift. You're gonna lift three or four inches off the bowl. The blast will be hydro, like. Hydro. What do you call it?

[Mary]

Hydrocephalic.

[Katya]

Hydrophalic. Hydra. Hydra.

[Mary]

Hydroplanking.

[Katya]

No, it's hydraulic. Hydraulic. Hydraulic shitting.

[Mary]

So they were like, you better be home when it happens. And I didn't. I couldn't be home because I had plans to go see Lee Cronin's the Mummy with Juno Burke in white jeans.

[Katya]

Well, no.

[Mary]

So do you know, gets there.

[Katya]

He. Cronin's the Mummy is so funny to me, girl. Lee Daniels, the butler.

[Mary]

Lee Cronin, the money.

[Katya]

You know why they do that? It's like, it's. It's disputes over titles.

[Mary]

Oh, because the money, the mummy, like,

[Katya]

they couldn't call it the butler. Warner Brothers was. It was a whole thing. So they called Lee Daniels the butler.

[Mary]

I thought the directors, like, wanted that.

[Katya]

No, it was a huge dispute between the Weinstein Company and it was a whole thing.

[Mary]

Interesting.

[Katya]

Same thing with the Mummy. Lee Cronin's the Mummy.

[Mary]

Lee Cronin's the Mummy.

[Katya]

Where is she in. Is she in the movie?

[Mary]

Lee? Well, Juno Birch comes over and I go. I just, like, feel like I want to tell you because we're on, like, a double date. Her boyfriend, my boyfriend. We're all here to go on a lovely date, love. And we're all going to go. And I go, I just have to tell you guys, I took this medicine and I learned online that this is about to hit.

[Katya]

You are so wild.

[Mary]

So before we go to the movie, it does hit everything. It's great. Love it. Thank God. Thank God.

[Katya]

Did you bring a cork plug for your butt?

[Mary]

No, I just, like, we're good. And I was like, if I have to leave during this movie, at least they all know what I'm doing, right?

[Katya]

Coke. Coke.

[Mary]

Were you two people doing coke in your bathroom?

[Katya]

So did you blast during the.

[Mary]

Does that make sense? No, I didn't blast during the movie, but I will say you need to see this movie because Lee Cronin is going to be tried for his crimes.

[Katya]

I heard it was really bad.

[Mary]

No, it's. It's very Drag Me to Hell.

[Katya]

Is it?

[Mary]

It's very. Gumming the face.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

You shamed me.

[Katya]

Puking it. He's the same. I believe that's the same director who did the. The mommy version of the Evil Dead.

[Mary]

Evil Dead Rises. Yeah, it's very. Evil Dead Rises. It's very family horror. Dead body reanimation.

[Katya]

My. My daughter went to Egypt.

[Mary]

She came back.

[Katya]

The Mummy. Lee Cronin's the Mummy.

[Mary]

Pretty much. Pretty much.

[Katya]

Love that.

[Mary]

It is a mummy story, but it's kind of more of like a possession story. It was scary. It was fun.

[Katya]

Love jump scares.

[Mary]

Not egregiously.

[Katya]

Okay.

[Mary]

Scary and kind of sick.

[Katya]

Okay.

[Mary]

And what's his name? Who's in it?

[Katya]

Lee Cronin.

[Mary]

No, no, no. The actor who is in 50 Shades and a Barbour Star. That's Jamie.

[Katya]

Jamie Dornan, my birthday twin.

[Mary]

So beautiful.

[Katya]

This is. This is really.

[Mary]

I think it's him. Jack Raynor.

[Katya]

Damn. That's not him. But shout out to Jamie Dornan, because he is born on the same exact day that I am. We're Jamie Dorns in 1982. So Mar. He's the boyfriend.

[Mary]

The boyfriend in Midsommar. I'm sorry, that's who it was.

[Katya]

Midsommar.

[Mary]

But he's so beautiful. And you really think, oh, yeah, he is.

[Katya]

He's gorge, Cutie, gorge.

[Mary]

It was. It was a good movie. It was fun. And I didn't get the D box,

[Katya]

so I would love to. You went to the cinema? The Cinemaplex.

[Mary]

Well, Juno says. I said, you want to hang out? She said, well, yeah. What do you want to do? And she said, well, I kind of want to see Lee Cronin's the Money. I said, okay, we'll go. So it was, like, her idea.

[Katya]

Really interesting.

[Mary]

I should have invited you.

[Katya]

No, I've just. All the times I've said we should go to the movies, you say, I don't go to the cinema.

[Mary]

Yeah, but it was Juno. She's never here. It's what she wanted.

[Katya]

Do I have to become a British transsexual in order to get to go to the movies with me?

[Mary]

Oh, you have to become interesting and have some compelling arguments about why I should go. Other than the popcorn and the magic

[Katya]

of film, I've never felt so shocked and betrayed right now. Okay, cool. I've never felt so shocked.

[Mary]

I have a hard time every single

[Katya]

time that she says, we're on this pod. She says, I don't go to the movies. I don't.

[Mary]

But I had to see Lee Cronin's the Mummy, you understand?

[Katya]

And I would have watched Lee. Dennis, the Butler.

[Mary]

If you know about me and you know about Lee Cronin, when it says Lee Cronin in front of a movie, I'm sad. I'm going. If it was Lee Cronin's the Room, Lee Cronin's the Wizard of Oz.

[Katya]

Lee Cronin's Lee Daniels the butler. Right.

[Mary]

Lee Cronin's the witch, like Lee Cronin's Lee Daniels the butler. I'm going. Lee Cronin is. It was. It was really good. And Lee Cronin, you would think it's about the Mommy. It's really about Lee Cronin.

[Katya]

Well, it's. It's a Lee Cronin story.

[Mary]

And I just want to tell you guys at home, forget everything you think you know about Lee Cron, because all of that goes out the window. Lee Cronin said, my audience knows me too well, how they're about to meet my mother.

[Katya]

I'm British, so it's my mommy.

[Mary]

But I sat directly behind the D boxes. And remember the seats that I told you about that go like this?

[Katya]

Not the. Not the Dune Spike. Kill you at the Go Jabar.

[Mary]

So this time I sat behind the D boxes because I didn't want to sit in the.

[Katya]

They got mixed.

[Mary]

What I did this time to, you know, I'm on a Save a little Money tour. I put my foot up on the D box. So when movement happened, I still got to experience something.

[Katya]

So you. You siphoned gas out of the D box.

[Mary]

Literally, I was somebody who sits outside the concert and listens to the music.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Have you ever seen that clip of that girl outside that Taylor Swift concert in the parking lot and she starts sobbing when a song starts?

[Katya]

Oh, yeah. She's at a restaurant three blocks away.

[Mary]

But I. So I'm at the D box, put my big toe on the seat, and they actually.

[Katya]

You could have added to their experience by kicking them a little bit.

[Mary]

There was no one up there. Oh, no one wants the D box. I think the D box is too abusive.

[Katya]

Why didn't you just get in the debug?

[Mary]

Because I knew I didn't want it, but I just wanted.

[Katya]

Oh, I see, I see it. No, no, that makes sense. That makes sense.

[Mary]

And Juno, I was telling her about it so that the seats start moving and she goes. And I'm like, the mummy. Like, that's like when Lee Cronin is in here with a D pad.

[Katya]

No, he's in the projection booth with the little. Yeah, look on the floor.

[Mary]

Lee Cronin's holding up those seats, going like. Because let me tell you, and I know Lee, when Lee Cronin gets involved in a production, the inspiration is boundless. The commitment to the bit is unreal. You might, if you watch the movie closely, the reason it's not Lee. It's not Lee. The reason it's not Jamie Dornan, it's Lee Kromel. She's playing every role.

[Katya]

He.

[Mary]

He. Oh, well, versatility, we don't know. I don't assume people's gender journey in 2026. I. I left thinking, Katya's gonna love this movie. Today's episode of all the Beautiful is brought to you by hims. If something's been off in the bedroom, you're not the only one. A lot of guys wait too long. You guys, I'm just gonna tell you. You can blame stress, sleep, you can blame getting older. But I'm gonna tell you, you know, I'm the queen of Miss Mental Health and self help. I'm gonna tell you. When I was having ED problems, I had no way of knowing that it was like, basically for me and my situation entirely in my head. I was depressed, I was overworked, I was overstressed. And that trickle down effect trickled down to, you know, my business. So I can tell you that sometimes it's hard to. Hard to Grasp it when it's happening. HIMSS connects you with a licensed healthcare provider online, giving you simple access to legitimate ED treatment options from home. No awkward appointments, no pharmacy lines. That's fierce. I was able to get my ED treatment completely online as well, and it was nice because I got to take it home and try it on my own terms. You know, I have a very sensitive system too. So, like, that includes this drug, Sildenafil, which is a generic for Viagra. That's what I had experienced. And if that option's not right for you, there's a lot of treatment options available. So you just do this simple online intake form and all your information is put in. It's very discreet and it ships to your door in discreet packaging. It's straightforward, it's transparent, and designed to make getting care feel easy. I was taking it for a while when I was depressed and I it but I don't have to take it anymore. But now, if I ever do, I know to get simple online access to personalized, affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss, and more. Visit hims.com bald that's hims.com bald for your free online visit hims.com bald prescription required. See website and details and important safety information. Sildenafil is the generic version of Viagra. Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatris Specialty, llc. HIMS is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatris. Today's episode of Bondly Beautiful is brought to you by Yahoo. Mail Planner. I have to tell you, I used

[Guest]

to be so much better at email.

[Mary]

I would wake up, I would check my email in bed in the morning. And over the years, the spam, the nonsensical emails, I get, the, the. I swear it's like 90%. You know, the uphill battle of even trying to get to my important emails is trying to decide what is not important. I'm just trying to get more organized lately because I used to make fun of Katya for not answering emails and now I've become that person where I'm like, well, if it's that serious, they'll call me. That's why I use Yahoo. Mail Planner. It brings your tasks and events together in one place so everything stays organized and you don't miss what matters. Planner brings your tasks, reminders and events into one simple view so you don't have to jump between apps or piece your day together. Get a clear, organized view of what matters most. Appointments, deadlines, and to dos so you can quickly understand your day without digging through emails. You don't have to download anything or manage another. App Planner works seamlessly within Yahoo Mail, even with your Gmail connected, so everything stays in one place. Stress less with Yahoo Mail Planner.

[Juno]

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[Mary]

I.

[Katya]

Well, I was. I was busy at the Cinemaplex with some F words watching Mother Mary with Annie Hathaway.

[Mary]

Oh, how did you like that?

[Katya]

It was. It was. I liked it. I would give it a B.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Katya]

I would give it a B. Annie Hathaway. God love her. Michaela Cole. That woman is a fucking phenomenal actress. Jesus Christ. The camera loves her face. And she is so compelling. She's every word. You're just like. Everything she says is. She's so riveting. She's so riveting. It's like a play. It's like a play. Okay, there's some David Lowery who did the Green Knight. Every shot of that is so gorgeous. A little slow for most people.

[Mary]

What is it called?

[Katya]

The Green Knight. Gorgeous.

[Mary]

Lee Cronin's the Green Knight.

[Katya]

It was Lee Daniels Butler's Presents. Lee Cronin's the Green Knight featuring Mother Mary and. But did you like Cronin's mother, Mary Lee Cronin's mommy, Mary. It's about a pop star and her collaborator. So we actually. Very relatable to us. It would be like you and Amy.

[Mary]

Oh.

[Katya]

And. Or like me and Andrew. So it was like. It was like a. A pop star and her collaborator. Fashion. Like say like Lady Gaga and Alexander McQueen or something like that.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

I mean, that was a bad example, but you know what I'm saying. And she shows up and she needs a dress for performance. Basically, she's a pop star. And it's hard to do pop stars and pop songs in movies. That's one of the hardest things to pull off.

[Mary]

We talked about in Smile. They did a good job. Smile, too.

[Katya]

That. I think that's Smile too. Well, Daily Daniels presents the Butler.

[Mary]

Right.

[Katya]

Yeah, it's hard. I think they pulled it off. Mostly it was very. In fabric plus Smile. Like smiley fabric. It was like in smiley fabric, right? It was kind of that vibe where it was like. It got a little ghosty, but I don't know. I think it bit off more than nick and shoe. And I wasn't super satisfied by the ending, but they ate. It was. It was cute. I don't know.

[Mary]

Things were eaten.

[Katya]

Things were eaten. I was really looking forward to it. I really got gassed up for it. But then I lowered my expectations. Thank God. I. Annie Hathaway, though. I love her. I do.

[Mary]

That's good.

[Katya]

Michaela Cole's cunty, but Hunter Schaer's in it for one second. Which leads me to my next question to you. It's. It's a. It's a beg.

[Mary]

Are you asking if I'm watching that?

[Katya]

No, no. I. I'm begging you to. I'm begging you on my knees to watch Euphoria.

[Mary]

Girl. You think I'm going to start now?

[Katya]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I only want you to watch two clips and I'll just describe them and it'll be brief, I swear. Imagine picture it. A rooftop pool. Okay. Cassie, the big titted city. Sydney Sweeney is weepy Simpy Sweepy is driving a red convertible along the Pacific Coast Highway. Sweeping shot. Nancy Myers movie like music. Rolls up to a rooftop pool in LA with a bikini on. Waiting for her, a friend from high school, Maddie, who is literally 35 years old now, four years after college. I mean, four years after high school. The actress Alexa Demi is played by.

[Mary]

So this season's. Is it.

[Katya]

It's about four or five years after high school.

[Mary]

Oh, okay. Because they're high schoolers in the show, right?

[Katya]

It's five years after high school. So she's 35 in real life playing a 25 year old.

[Mary]

Very Netflix.

[Katya]

She shows up in a fur coat and before that there's a shot of her in her green car looking out the window at Simpy who's getting out of the car. And it's like 70s film grain noir motif all of a sudden. And then there's a slow mo shot of her coming into the pool with a full length sable coat on and glasses to the most sweeping, epic, Disney like soundtrack. It is so crazy. It is so insane.

[Mary]

Good crazy. It's.

[Katya]

It's not boring. It's not boring. I mean, whether they're dumping like swallowing like dozens of balls of condoms of fentanyl and then them out into colanders

[Mary]

in episode one, I feel like people are saying that they are confused by the season. That's the people on Twitter thinking that

[Katya]

it is a, it is a, it is a colorful, is a super highly saturated, color drenched shit show. 100%. But I, but I'll tell you this, Zendaya is. She is a phenomenal actress because there is no physical differentiation between her and Dune in this. No makeup, no hair. Really. She doesn't wear any makeup in either show. Not really. Two totally different characters. Like, it's. She's incredible. She's the only one that actually looks like she could pass for 24.

[Mary]

Lee Cronin's euphoria.

[Katya]

You would. If I showed you some clips, you would. It's. It's crazy. It's crazy.

[Mary]

I feel like people aren't liking it,

[Katya]

but sometimes it's, oh, it's bad. It's. It's objectively bad.

[Mary]

But it's like when people are like, they hate this Taylor album. They hate euphoria. I was like, maybe you're just growing, growing up, changing tastes and maybe you're realizing the thing you used to like. You liked it for reasons other than the supreme quality, of course, but which are still valid reasons.

[Katya]

But it's also, but it was interesting about this show is that because it's been four or five years, these people now are superstars, right? Jacob Elordi, for example, I feel like his, his performance is, is so critics have. And everybody's noticing his performance is so wooden that it's as if he lobotomizes himself before he gets on set every day because it's just like he's barely there, checked out. It seems all these people are superstars. Hunter Schaefer, Zendaya. Zendaya she's like the modern day Julia Roberts.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Katya]

And she's got to go back to this slop. She's doing a great job, though.

[Mary]

I mean, people. They got to be doing something, right? I've never seen it, so I can't really say. Like, it's very.

[Katya]

It's just. It's sensational. It's splashy, it's sexy. It's. A lot of it seems like porn. Like. Like the. The. Ooh. I want to just. I want to film some porn. And that's what they're doing because it's very, very sexy and sexual and weird and crazy. A lot of violence. A lot of boobs and ass and titties and drugs and all that stuff. Wow. It's not. It's not boring. I'll just say that. Pigs. Nazis.

[Mary]

There's pigs and Nazis in euphoria.

[Katya]

Yeah, there's the. The rue is Zendaya. She gets sold from the Nazi drug dealers to the owner of a strip club, this black kingpin named Alamo. And Laurie, who is the white bitch, calls him a pig on the phone. And so he sends a pig over to her house while one of the neo Nazis is banging some bitch from behind Faye. And then the pig is pooping, and it has a little sign on that says, remember the Alamo. And that's like, not even the. That's like below part of the episode.

[Mary]

Okay, that makes more sense because people have been doing that to me left and right. I was like, where do people get this from? You know what I mean? I was like another pigs. I was like, do I not watch enough tv? You know? I was like, what is this?

[Katya]

And why do I out Fentanyl every day in a calendar? I don't know. No, I gotta show you the clip, though, because it's just from a directorial cinematic point of view. It's batshit. The thematic tonal shifts that happen within seconds are like, what are you. What is happening here? It's just so crazy.

[Mary]

I guess I'm gonna have to watch it. And maybe now, since it's on season three, I could start from the beginning and catch up.

[Katya]

I wouldn't even bother.

[Mary]

What? I bet you gotta see the beginning.

[Katya]

I mean, you probably. Yes, you absolutely would have to for any of it to make sense. Yeah, but the Alexa Demi thing is so funny. Like, painted like a. Painted like a drag queen. Like, more makeup than you have on. This woman is in her. She's like a widow, late 60s. She's playing a former high schooler. Like, she's Literally. It's just so crazy.

[Mary]

Maybe I'll have to watch it. I've been watching. What have I been watching?

[Katya]

I watched that neighbor show you told me to watch.

[Mary]

Crazy.

[Katya]

I couldn't. It was so triggering.

[Mary]

The guy who wants to go to the nudist colony.

[Katya]

That didn't. That one I didn't see. But the vampire. The guy with the vampire fangs and then the bearded bard.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Guest]

They were so destined to be best friends.

[Mary]

Did you like the guy at the dueling houses to decorate for Halloween?

[Guest]

I didn't see that one either.

[Mary]

There's only like, six episodes, Mary.

[Katya]

That's why I saw three.

[Mary]

Oh, I think four is the Halloween one. And it's the last one. Six is the craziest one of all of them.

[Katya]

Is that the private property one?

[Mary]

That's the one with the guy who, like, all those neighbors are like, you need to put some clothes on. He's like an old guy, and then he goes to live in a nudist colony, falls in love, and she doesn't reciprocate.

[Katya]

That was me with the cat. Well, get the cat out of there.

[Mary]

Lot of cat.

[Katya]

Lot of cat. But th. Those. The.

[Juno]

The.

[Katya]

The adrenochrome pizzagate vampire people. And then the bearded bard and his family. They're destined to be great buddies, don't you think? They both.

[Mary]

The editing on that neighbor show is so skito. It reminds me of the sections from Weapons featuring the crackhead, where everything's like, so fast and crazy, and then they

[Katya]

do like that weird, like when he's like, I believe, you know, going out in his manifesto. But don't you think that those two.

[Juno]

This is probably so riveting for people

[Katya]

in the 405 urban. No.

[Mary]

People want to know what we're watching.

[Katya]

Okay? They. They, they.

[Mary]

Why are you watching Euphoria? Huh?

[Katya]

Because I watched the first two seasons.

[Mary]

Oh, you did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was glued to the tv. Did you like the first two seasons?

[Katya]

Yeah, I loved it.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Katya]

I loved it.

[Mary]

I can't tell if people are saying this show's getting crazy and not good, or has it always been crazy?

[Katya]

It's always been crazy. It's always now. But before, the issue was this is hyper sexualized High Schoolers. Now, Alexa Demi doesn't count because she was 48 at the time of filming five years ago. Right now she's in her early 60s, right?

[Mary]

She went through a wormhole.

[Katya]

It's crazy. She's my age. She's my age. She did go to college four years after high school. She's me, 44 years old.

[Mary]

It's crazy, but that's like movie stars in everything.

[Katya]

Beverly Hills9,020. Gabrielle Carteris, who played Andrea, she was famously, like, 40 years old as a high school student. Damn. Yeah, they were old. They were old high schoolers.

[Mary]

Okay, I believe you. Well, I think it's hard to get teenagers to play because they. The labor laws. The labor laws with real teenagers is like when you're under 18, you can't, like, work a full work day. You know what I mean? I think of how long days are on set. Imagine if it was all actual children.

[Katya]

Well, they just got to hire twins.

[Mary]

Twins. Like, the boy is the guy who plays Homelander, so I think is a twin.

[Katya]

That's why he's in everything.

[Mary]

He's a twin. I'm in. I'm watching season four of the Boys now. But obviously I have to wait. I hate when I'm watching a show and I have to wait every week, Mary.

[Katya]

I've. I've. I've almost. I think I'm almost done with the boys. And that show jumped the sharks so fiercely. It. She. She took. She took it. Jumped over that shark. What is it. What is the expression? It jumped.

[Mary]

It jumped the shark.

[Katya]

Yeah, it. The shark.

[Mary]

It jumped the. It the shark.

[Katya]

Yeah, it robbed her. It. It. Her.

[Mary]

You know, Lee Cronin's the boys. You don't like it?

[Katya]

Lee Cronin's the shark? No, it's like. No, I mean, I. I just thought he'd, like.

[Mary]

I love the effects. You know what I think about a lot?

[Katya]

The splashy violence is fun, but it's so, like, just running around in circles. So what the is starlight?

[Mary]

What about her? Now she's a symbol for the rebellion. Yeah, but she was a reluctant hero, like Katniss Everdeen.

[Katya]

Like, I can summon, like, 2600 volts of electricity. Just give me 10 minutes.

[Mary]

She's learning to fly now.

[Katya]

Everybody else can do so much cooler stuff. I know.

[Mary]

Well, it's hard because Homelander really is, like, so fierce. Well, I guess soldier boy is fiercer than him. Really? But I read all those books, and I love those books. But I. And also really like Sister Sage, this super smart person.

[Katya]

The funny thing when she has to give herself, what, a frontal lobotomy to have sex?

[Mary]

That was gross.

[Katya]

That was really disgusting.

[Mary]

That was really disturbing.

[Katya]

What about crawling into the pee hole, sneezing and blowing them up?

[Mary]

That was fierce. That was fierce. Love that.

[Katya]

I don't like the big long dick.

[Mary]

Love Sausage don't love it.

[Katya]

That's not a superpower. That's a liability.

[Mary]

It depends who you ask. I think it's a superpower.

[Katya]

It'd be a line around the block.

[Mary]

Go down a Vaseline alley, honey, and just let them chew on it.

[Katya]

You have to shake them all off.

[Mary]

They'd be climbing.

[Katya]

Like a trait.

[Mary]

Dip it in some syrup and just let the take it out.

[Katya]

Bears in space.

[Mary]

Got an Osmanhoff. Just skip the line at the door.

[Katya]

Tip yourself on the ceiling. Just let it hang down the warehouse.

[Mary]

I like the boys. I'm excited to see how it's gonna end. I wonder. I've been thinking about this a lot. How do Maga people trumpy people? Because they love superhero stuff.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

But when they're watching the boys heavy

[Katya]

handed though, the way they're.

[Mary]

But do they like it or do they think it's funny? Or are they so dense that they don't get that it's obviously them?

[Katya]

I don't know. That's a good question. They one thing I just. This is just a personal thing, I guess. I know with all due respect to the actor, I can't stand Butcher's voice. It just feels like he's doing an a cockney impersonation.

[Mary]

It's pretty heavy handed.

[Katya]

It's so heavy handed. It's like he's doing the lock, stock and barrel. Like a Guy Ritchie like SNL skit. Every time he opens his mouth.

[Mary]

But I'm really horny for Mortal Kombat 2. He's playing Johnny Cage.

[Katya]

See, I hope it's a little turned. Well, what do you think about this? Street Fighter versus Mary.

[Mary]

The movies I'm excited for right now. I can't even tell you about Street Fighter. Street Fighter.

[Katya]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mary]

Orville Pack and Street Fighter.

[Katya]

Over Pack or Overpack.

[Mary]

Orville peck. Mortal Kombat 2.

[Juno]

Mortal Kombat 2.

[Mary]

The New Hunger Games movie. Hunger Games, obviously. Obviously that's about it.

[Katya]

Okay.

[Mary]

But those are the three movies. I'm really excited.

[Katya]

No, but that's good though. There's the Mortal Kombat, the first one. I quite enjoyed it.

[Mary]

Loved it. I loved this Mortal Kombat from like what, 2022 or something.

[Katya]

It was the one with where sub zero was the kind of the scorpion was like the heroish.

[Mary]

Yeah, right.

[Katya]

Well, this Zero was the villain. Villain.

[Mary]

This new Mortal Kombat game, Mortal Kombat 1 I think it's called, that's been out for like a couple years. Is low key, but very high key. I think the best Mortal Kombat game.

[Katya]

This is the one where you can be Daffy Duck. No, no, that is just so wild. Like, you could be. You could be Paul Dean. You know those ones where you can literally. They. They expand the universe of characters so.

[Mary]

Oh, you could definitely do that. They have like, Jason.

[Katya]

They have like, Art the Clown.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

They have me and you.

[Mary]

They have, like, Homelander. Homelander.

[Katya]

I know. They have Paula Deen.

[Mary]

They have celebrity chef Paula Dean. They don't have Paula. Deeper.

[Katya]

No, no. I mean, it's. The expansion is.

[Mary]

So we have Gail King.

[Katya]

Yeah. Gayle King and Oprah.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Katya]

Cronin.

[Mary]

Actually, Daniels down here. The aunt Gladys.

[Katya]

Lee Cronin's the mummy versus Lee Daniels. The.

[Mary]

Lee Cronin's the weapons.

[Katya]

So I. Oh, Lee Cronin is going

[Mary]

to watch this and be like, I don't get why this is so funny.

[Katya]

Well, then he had. He needs to talk to Lee Daniels. I'm telling you. Listen. No, I'm excited for Mortal Kombat. I'm excited for Street Fighter because I am curious to see what level of camp and what's the right word? I guess camp that they're going to. Are they going to stick that landing?

[Mary]

I'm excited to see if Orville Peck is going to get us invited to the premiere.

[Guest]

Not a chance.

[Katya]

Lee Cronin.

[Mary]

I'll get on Lee Cronin list and I'll show up.

[Katya]

Will you get. We need to pull some of your mommy's checks and get us on the.

[Mary]

If you guys don't get me an invite to that, there's going to be some street fighting. Bitch.

[Katya]

Thank you.

[Mary]

You know, if you don't make a good offer. Yeah, I'm going to go. I'm going to go down to Mor Combat to that premiere.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

With my titties out.

[Katya]

And Lee Daniels, the butler is going to get you served.

[Mary]

Lee Daniels is going to bring Carl Urban over. Over here. Over here. What about.

[Katya]

What about Keith Urban?

[Mary]

Well, she's gonna be coming down with. With his wife.

[Katya]

Enough. You. You sent me as. As well as 2700 other people that Nicole Kidman has announced she is training to be a death doula.

[Mary]

Love.

[Katya]

This woman could not get more precious than my heart, mind or soul.

[Mary]

This woman, Cadet Doula.

[Katya]

This woman could not get any fiercer.

[Mary]

Can I tell you, I think she'd actually be good at it, because let's say you're dying. You have all your regrets, you're surrounded by pudgy grandchildren, you're scared. I don't think she's Nicole Kidman walking. Great distraction, number one.

[Katya]

Yes.

[Mary]

Number two, she has a wig on. She has a wig. She says, what wig do you want to wear?

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

She takes a clown wig, puts it on your head, and then they bring in some jello and she crosses her leg. She's like, sorry, we have a new Practical magic movie coming out, and just kind of.

[Katya]

Would you like to see a screener?

[Mary]

What about the magic of Death? New Practical Magic coming in September. We got Stalker Channing in it and

[Katya]

Diane, and we got Lee Cronin. I tweeted out randomly Sandy Bullock. And then I. And then that. That thing appeared. Practical Magic two. Impractical Magic two. I have.

[Mary]

I, I. I'm excited. I'm excited.

[Katya]

Yet I remain skeptical, as they always do.

[Mary]

I'm excited.

[Katya]

I'm excited. They're Nicole Kidman.

[Mary]

This country begs for reboots and then shreds them apart when they happen. And I just hate to be a hater.

[Katya]

Oh, I'm gonna go with perfect. Certified hater. I'm a certified hater. I'm a critic. I'm not a hater. I don't want to hate needlessly or uselessly, but I am a critic.

[Mary]

Right. I will be critical.

[Katya]

That is my right as a. As a movie cinema goer.

[Mary]

Right.

[Katya]

Paying $48,000 for that ticket. My $6,200.

[Mary]

If I'm going to see Lee Cronin's Practical Magic, too, I'm getting that D

[Katya]

box, and I want to be sky. They better have a propofol thing. What if the Lee Cronin's mummy mummied you up, girl?

[Mary]

What if?

[Katya]

What if they wrapped you up?

[Mary]

What if?

[Katya]

But you, in order to get unmoney, you got to see practical Magic.

[Mary]

Well, they have the D box, and they have the Lee box. You sit on the people.

[Katya]

Wait, wait, moral comment. I'm bricked.

[Mary]

I'm.

[Katya]

I'm very skeptical. Skeptical. Skeptical about Street Fighter.

[Mary]

Although I am very Street Fighter because of Orville. And, you know, he is in horrible physical shape, as you know, and he's been struggling.

[Katya]

I mean, he's always struggling.

[Mary]

He's always unattractive. He's not good at exercise.

[Katya]

No. He's not.

[Mary]

Terrible physique.

[Katya]

And his voice is just unconventional. Never shows up on time.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Always talking about girls.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katya]

However, Jason Momoa is in it as well. I don't know if you know anything about Jason Momoa.

[Mary]

I do. I watch some. I watched some DC films recently.

[Juno]

Aquaman.

[Mary]

He plays Aquaman.

[Katya]

Yeah. Can you.

[Mary]

I didn't watch.

[Katya]

Do you have. Oh, no, no, no.

[Mary]

I watched dawn of Justice. Is that the Superman vs Batman one? Dawn of Justice. I watched that.

[Katya]

Aquaman is. I can't.

[Mary]

He's watch Justice League.

[Katya]

He is so shredded in these movies. Can you believe his body is.

[Mary]

Oh, he's. I mean, he's so beautiful.

[Katya]

But. But his. I mean, he's. He famously says that he, like, doesn't work out unless he's got a movie and they make him.

[Mary]

I, as a man, could not be seen or photographed next to that person. It would. If I see a specimen, a male specimen like that, I go home. Hello, darkness, my old friend. Like, I'm that person's gender.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Mary]

We're both male.

[Katya]

Right? Right.

[Mary]

If that's a man, what the am I doing?

[Katya]

Well, I. I have a similar problem, but I'm totally different. If I were to be photographed or in the proximity vicinity, I would say a half a mile of him. The vortex, the. The psychic pull, the gravitational thing, that would. I wouldn't be able to control my head going up his ass.

[Mary]

Right.

[Katya]

And I would be jailed. I would be jailed. And rightly so.

[Mary]

Yeah. I mean, I loved the movie Justice League. I had never seen it. I watched the extended cut, which is four hours long.

[Katya]

Oh, the Snyder cut.

[Mary]

The Snyder cut was like four hours long. Is that the one when they had

[Katya]

to digitally take off Henry Cavill's mustache?

[Mary]

When I tell you, I thought it would just be, like, a bunch of extra scenes.

[Juno]

Yeah. There's a whole other plot line.

[Mary]

It's a completely different movie, including completely different takes of the same dialogue.

[Katya]

Do they.

[Mary]

They fuck? Yeah. Of course. It's Lee Cronin's Justice League. Of course he's gonna bring it every time. You know what I mean?

[Katya]

That doesn't let you leave the theater.

[Mary]

Lee. Lee is going down here to the AMC seat and says, you come to this place for magic.

[Katya]

And no exception, pour it out for Lee Cronin, because that gives it to you every time.

[Mary]

You think she's gonna have some kind of we come to this place for practical magic ad?

[Katya]

I don't think so.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Katya]

I think they may. I do know that they made Sandy Bullock join Instagram to promote this damn movie. So one of her six, she needs

[Mary]

to go to the RuPaul School of Reels.

[Katya]

Mary. I. I was a little. Feeling a little sad under the weather, Depressed. The other day, I just pop on reels by Ms. RuPaul.com and.

[Mary]

And I just.

[Katya]

I just. It's like Prozac threw it Away, girl. Wellbutrin. Gone. Crushed in the trash. I mean, it. Like. Like, Fluoxetine.

[Mary]

Dead.

[Katya]

Dead. Yeah. Amphetamines.

[Mary]

You. But you know What? Because it's RuPaul's Instagram, brought to you by. You guys, we gotta go. So sick of us.

[Katya]

Nobody would.

[Mary]

If we ever run into leak.

[Katya]

20 seconds.

[Mary]

Like, what the fuck were you talking about?

[Katya]

20 seconds. That's all I ask. That's all I ask. Because I just need you to know

[Mary]

I just shoved a nuke up my pussy.

[Katya]

That is. I mean, there's so many. There's so, like. There's so many. But there's one in particular. Instant serotonin boost for those who are, you know, morbidly depressed. What do you want to do with your life? I'm gonna show off my tits, Daddy.

[Mary]

She is so crazy. She's so crazy.

[Katya]

June is busting out all over in the parking lot, barefoot, running a mile with a shoe.

[Mary]

Phone call a mile for her.

[Katya]

I know two blocks. Yeah, she does. She. She clears about 8K in about 12 seconds.

[Mary]

Oh, yeah.

[Katya]

It's just it. They keep coming and we don't deserve it.

[Mary]

Oh, yeah.

[Katya]

Thank you, Lee.

[Mary]

Thank you, Lee.

[Katya]

Bye, Lee.

[Mary]

Bye.

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[Katya]

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[Mary]

Hey, everyone. Check out this guy and his bird. What is this, your first date?

[Katya]

Oh, no.

[Mary]

We help people customize and save on

[Katya]

car insurance with Liberty Mutual together. We're married. Me to a human, him to a bird. Yeah, the bird looks out of your league. Anyways, get a [e-mail] or with your local agent.

[Mary]

Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty.