The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

Summary

The Bald and the Breakfast with Trixie and Katya

Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Episode Date: February 10, 2026
Hosts: Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova
Episode Theme:
A freewheeling, irreverent breakfast chat between two iconic drag artists covering everything from butt surgery, French perfection, and ski trips to donut rhapsodies, group TV experiences, and breakfast supremacy—with plenty of laughs, honesty, and playful “shared trauma.”

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Main Theme

This episode is a chaotic, intimate breakfast gabfest where Trixie and Katya move seamlessly from medical mishaps to pop culture, travel tales, and life’s simple food pleasures. The queens cover surgery anxiety, ski trips with straight people, the sublime joy of breakfast, Drag Race group viewings, and why lunch “wishes she was breakfast.” It’s unfiltered, deeply gay, and genuinely funny, as always.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Tour Updates and New Year's Resolutions

• The duo announce their spring podcast tour is almost sold out, with extra shows added in Boston and Toronto.
  • Trixie: “My New Year’s resolution is quality over quantity.” [01:58]
  • Katya: “You Bostonians in Toronto… you better get some tickets.” [02:04]

2. Surgery, Sick Partners, and Medical Anxiety

• Trixie talks about facing butt surgery and the anxiety of anesthesia:
  • Trixie: “I have a surgery tomorrow… they called me today, like don’t drink this, don’t eat this. I’m like a Maguire—don’t feed me after midnight.” [03:18]
  • Katya recounts being less anxious due to lack of control, while Trixie is deeply anxious before going under:
    • Trixie: “When you’re put under, it’s a non-event, but everything leading up I’m super anxious.” [03:58]
  • They joke about the awkwardness of Michael Jackson being used as anesthesia slang:
    • Trixie: “I don’t think we should call putting someone under to Michael Jackson-ing someone…” [04:29]
  • Trixie: “Can I call you tomorrow if I survive?” Katya: “No.” [05:12]

3. Jodie Foster’s Perfection & French Language

• Katya's obsession with Jodie Foster speaking perfect French in an upcoming movie:
  • Katya: “She speaks perfect French. Not great, not good—PERFECT French.” [06:55]
  • Trixie: “What do you love about her?” Katya: “She’s so smart, so capable, a legend forever.” [07:19]
• Shared affection for Jodie Foster’s career highlights, especially "Contact" and "Panic Room":
  • On Panic Room:
    • Trixie: “That movie must have been instituted by Big Panic.” [08:24]

4. Disaster Preparedness: Panic Rooms, Earthquakes, and Pool Water

• Trixie reveals her not-so-secret panic room and considerations for earthquake readiness:
  • Katya: “Living in LA… highly suggest stocking any panic room with supplies.” [08:58]
  • Trixie wonders if she could drink her pool water in a disaster:
    • Trixie: “I drink the pool, tea or tea.” [09:31]

5. Favorite Drag Queens: Luscious’ Unfiltered Magic

• Passionate praise for fellow queen Luscious:
  • Katya: “She’s really become my favorite drag queen.” [12:20]
  • Trixie: “She’s a freak from hell—I mean that lovingly.” [11:41]
  • Katya: “Her creativity inspires me. And…her courage—going into Macy’s, bus driver wig on.” [11:52]

6. Style Inspirations: Bob Wigs and Fashion Honesty

• Trixie reminisces about her pre-Drag Race bob and wants to bring back straight wigs:
  • Trixie: “Maybe I could go through a straight bob era.” [12:32]

7. Winter Adventures: Skiing and Snowmobiling in Jackson Hole, WY

• Trixie’s trip to Jackson Hole with heterosexuals:
  • Ski anecdotes—learning and re-learning with a group, feelings of being in a “rich people sport.”
    • Trixie: “Skiing…it’s a rich people function. But I have so much fun!” [17:41]
  • Apres-ski scenes: French onion soup, martinis, loving the gondola.
  • On snowmobiling:
    • Trixie: “I don’t like snowmobiling. It’s cold and loud and you’re driving to nowhere.” [22:33]
  • Witnessing a real engagement on the mountain “like watching a viral video.” [22:53]
  • Bodily woes: the struggle of not enough sleep, hangovers, group trip discomfort, and emergency gas station snacks:
    • Trixie: “If I don’t get in this 7-11 and get a drinkable yogurt and a donut, I’m going to freak out.” [25:07]

8. Movie & Series Viewing: Theater vs. Home Debate

• Trixie is anti-movie-theater, preferring home screens:
  • Trixie: “The movies aren’t back. The little screen killed the big screen.” [31:08]
• Katya pushes back, citing “Dune 2” and “Mulholland Drive” as great cinematic experiences.
• Deep-dive into crime miniseries (“Unbelievable” with Merritt Weaver and Toni Collette), and the weird comfort of serial killer docs:
  • Katya: “It’s rare to see shifting tones like that and not be crazy.” [34:42]
  • Trixie: “Do you think something’s wrong with me that I do [like serial killer docs]?” [35:17]

9. TV Habits: Nighttime Routines and Sleep Hygiene

• Jellyfish videos and light therapy for sleep:
  • Katya: “My nighttime viewing is usually a thing to wind down—jellyfish, beautiful.” [36:21]
• Challenges of partners needing TV to sleep and sleep systems with mood lights.

10. Sunshine and Shared Trauma

• Enduring the LA “mold removal trauma” and celebrating the return of warm weather:
  • Katya: “It’s a shared trauma. I hopped over to Flippers for souffle pancakes—it was 80 degrees and sunny.” [38:05]

11. Group Viewing Parties: Drag Race, Survivor, and Gay Communal Rituals

• The wild joy and frustration of Drag Race viewing at bars:
  • Trixie: “Going to a Drag Race viewing party…it’s different, because we’re you and me.” [42:23]
  • Trixie: “I’m aware I’m the only one watching (Drag Race). Everyone’s talking.” [44:04]
• Nostalgic for true group watching moments:
  • Katya: “The night Lala Ri wore the gift bag—I left thinking, ‘that was too much, an evil crime.’” [45:37]

12. Donut Devotion and Breakfast Supremacy

• Strong feelings for Krispy Kreme and the inferiority of Dunkin Donuts later in the day:

  • Katya: “First time I had a Krispy Kreme, I could not believe it.” [51:01]
  • Airport baked goods get roasted.
  • Trixie: “If there’s a donut, I’m in…so full food is coming out of my throat, I will find room for a donut.” [52:35]
  • Both queens are “no filler queens”—preferring classic glazed to filled donuts.

• Declarations of breakfast’s dominance:

  • Katya: “Lunch is so jealous and just twisted about breakfast.” [53:57]
  • Trixie: “You will never see me walk by a donut.” [52:35]
  • Trixie: “I wake up hungry, fantasizing about eggs and toast. I eat an egg every day.” [54:17]

13. Coffee Opinions

• Instant coffee is “absolutely disgusting.”
  • Katya: “It’s not even powder. It sucks. It’s disgusting.” [55:02]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Time | Speaker | Quote | |---------|-----------|-------| | 03:18 | Trixie | “Don’t feed me after midnight, nothing. And then tomorrow, eight in the morning, surgery, but butthole cut open.” | | 04:29 | Trixie | “I don’t think we should call putting someone under to Michael Jackson-ing someone…” | | 06:55 | Katya | “She speaks perfect French. Not great, not good—PERFECT French.” | | 08:24 | Trixie | “That movie [Panic Room] must have been instituted by Big Panic.” | | 09:31 | Trixie | “I drink the pool, tea or tea.” | | 11:41 | Trixie | “[Luscious] is a freak from hell. I mean that lovingly.” | | 17:41 | Trixie | “Skiing…it’s a rich people function. But I have so much fun!” | | 22:33 | Trixie | “I don’t like snowmobiling. It’s cold and loud and you’re driving to nowhere.” | | 25:07 | Trixie | “If I don’t get in this 7-11 and get a drinkable yogurt and a donut, I’m going to freak out.” | | 31:08 | Trixie | “The movies aren’t back. The little screen killed the big screen.” | | 34:42 | Katya | “It’s rare to see shifting tones like that and not be crazy.” | | 44:04 | Trixie | “I’m aware I’m the only one watching it (Drag Race). Everyone’s talking.” | | 45:37 | Katya | “That was too much. That was evil crime. What we did was evil.” | | 52:35 | Trixie | “If there’s a donut, I’m in…food is coming out of my throat, I will find room for a donut.” | | 53:57 | Katya | “Lunch is so jealous and torn up and just twisted about breakfast.” | | 54:17 | Trixie | “I wake up hungry, fantasizing about eggs and toast. I eat an egg every day.” | | 55:02 | Katya | “Instant coffee is disgusting. It’s undrinkable.” |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Tour Announcements & Intro: 02:00 – 03:10
• Surgery & Anesthesia Anxiety: 03:18 – 05:30
• Jodie Foster & French: 06:41 – 07:54
• Panic Rooms & Earthquake Prep: 08:44 – 09:14
• Drag Queen Praise (Luscious): 10:49 – 12:20
• Winter Trip & Skiing/Snowmobiling: 16:07 – 25:21
• Movie Theater vs. Home Screen: 30:46 – 31:41
• Serial Killer Series: 32:02 – 35:19
• Sleep Routines & TV Habits: 36:21 – 37:48
• LA Mold Trauma & Weather Joy: 38:05 – 39:11
• Drag Race Viewing Party: 42:23 – 47:01
• Donuts & Breakfast: 51:01 – 55:10

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Overall Tone & Vibe

The tone is raucous, deeply gay, and full of self-aware, loving shade. Trixie and Katya allow themselves to be vulnerable (on surgery nerves, body image, or breakfast cravings) while never missing an opportunity for absurdist humor, drag queen in-jokes, and affectionate takedowns (of each other, the world, and lowly “lunch”).

Their dynamic—one part banter, one part real talk—invites listeners into the kitchen at breakfast, delivering a mix of cultural commentary and ridiculousness that defines their singular podcast style.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

Catch up on Trixie’s impending “butthole cut open” surgery, Katya’s passion for Jodie Foster’s perfect French, tales of skiing with straight people, why donuts and breakfast reign supreme, and what happens at a Drag Race viewing party when the queens themselves are in the room. This episode is a delicious, no-holds-barred sampling of drag wisdom and wit—served sunny side up.

Transcript

[Katya]

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[Katya]

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[Katya]

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[Katya]

Respect the drip and satisfy your cravings. Bring home the drip with Velve Elvita. We are very excited to announce that our very bald and very beautiful podcast tour is almost sold out for spring.

[Trixie]

I'm excited. We're not doing that many dates. And my New Year's resolution is quality over quantity. And we're doing it.

[Katya]

We're doing it. Can you believe we had to add a second show to Boston and Toronto Queen? We sure did. So you Bostonians in Toronto, in Toronto or whatever the you call yourselves, you better get some tickets. Yes, snatch him up.

[Trixie]

We do have a few seats left for some of these cities and we are not doing that many of these this year.

[Katya]

It's going to be hot. It's going to Be exclusive. It's going to be fabulous.

[Trixie]

Tickets available now at trixie and kati dot com. Queen Atu Un cigarette. This is what kind of horrible person I am. My poor boyfriend has been sick the last few days and I was sick last week. When I'm sick, I'm like, I think everybody should call into work and take care of me, right? Last night, him at 4am up sick in the bathroom, like, shut up. I swear to God I almost sat up and said, I think it's a little much. You keep it down or at least barricade the door.

[Katya]

Go to the force, like go down, just get a hotel.

[Trixie]

What are you doing?

[Katya]

It's crazy. My God, Sick. Being sick sucks. I mean, I know that goes without saying.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Hi listeners.

[Trixie]

Welcome back.

[Katya]

Welcome back.

[Trixie]

Hi, this is 254.

[Katya]

Maybe.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

53.

[Trixie]

I have to have a surgery tomorrow and they called me today. And if you ever had a surgery the day before, they'd be calling you, telling you all this extra information. Don't drink this, don't eat this. You know, now I'm like a Maguire. Like don't feed me after midnight, nothing. And then tomorrow, eight in the morning, surgery, but butthole cut open.

[Katya]

It's always early like that.

[Trixie]

Why do they. Surgeons, I'm, I'm telling you, I think these surgeons are up at 3:00am no.

[Katya]

No, they, they, they, they roll out of bed, they, they just get in their Beamer and they speed to the hospital. Don't brush their teeth or anything. They just scrub up and let her rip.

[Trixie]

Have you ever been put under?

[Katya]

Oh yeah, this.

[Trixie]

I have extreme anxiety about being put under.

[Katya]

Really?

[Trixie]

But then when you are put under. Yeah, it's nothing, It's a non event. You remember none of it, but everything leading up to it, I'm like super anxious.

[Katya]

What? No, what are you.

[Trixie]

I guess lack of control. I don't know.

[Katya]

Okay. It's interesting because I'm the opposite. The lack of control makes me nervous. Like a lack of control is like, well, I can't do anything right. You know what I mean?

[Trixie]

Yeah, you're right.

[Katya]

Like, you know, if I, if I.

[Trixie]

Died, I wouldn't even know how.

[Katya]

And there's no pain, there's no, you don't even remember when you like, you know, it's. I love that.

[Trixie]

Well, you know, it's awful.

[Katya]

What?

[Trixie]

Somebody was on the phone talking to somebody about it and they said, well, I think they just. Michael Jackson you and I don't think we should call putting someone under to Michael Jack. But I know I know what she means. Propofol or whatever. I was like, we be. That's not gonna be a medical textbook.

[Katya]

No, because also, it's a little ambiguous about what exactly.

[Trixie]

I mean, think about that.

[Katya]

Yeah. Like, oh, they make.

[Trixie]

Objection. They put one glove on you and they make you sing.

[Katya]

Or they, like, they, they bring out a monkey Presley.

[Trixie]

That's what you do.

[Katya]

You dangle a baby.

[Trixie]

You ride a carousel in your backyard.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Trixie]

You're.

[Katya]

You're literally unconscious on a Ferris wheel, dangling a baby.

[Trixie]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katya]

No, yeah, no, no, gosh, we're not doing that. But I. General anesthesia is, is cunty. Yeah, because it's, you know.

[Trixie]

Can I call you tomorrow if I survive? No. Okay.

[Katya]

Yeah, I would like to call you because you might not remember.

[Trixie]

I don't have my affairs in order.

[Katya]

How many affairs are you having?

[Trixie]

Many, many affairs. And I have to get them all in order. Okay.

[Katya]

That was funny.

[Trixie]

Very funny.

[Katya]

That was like, like an affair. Having an affair.

[Trixie]

Oh, speaking of, did you keep watching All's fair? You know, All's affair.

[Katya]

All's fair.

[Trixie]

You were so gung ho in that pussy monologue and then what?

[Katya]

No, no, no, I wasn't. Let me, let me clarify. I wasn't gung ho. I was flabbergasted. I was gooped. I was shocked, betrayed. I was, I was surprised and I was titillated. Well, titillated is a stretch.

[Trixie]

I, I.

[Katya]

But the show. Yeah, I know, but I know you're.

[Trixie]

Gonna swing in on that new beauty show. The beauty, it seems like it's, it's a, It's a substance vibe. I hate to be reductive.

[Katya]

No, no, no. It's, it's, yeah, it's actually, I think.

[Trixie]

It'.

[Katya]

Based on a text of some sort.

[Trixie]

Okay. Like a comic or something.

[Katya]

Okay, yeah, exactly. And it's. If we know Ryan. If we know one thing about Ryan Murphy, we. It's about beauty. And then it's going to be about, you know, Nazis, aliens, Frankenstein's, Atlantis, you know, little people from, you know, hedgehogs, fruit barns, rabies, wagon wheels. All this stuff is going to come out. Right, But I want to talk to you about the French language and one of my favorite actresses in the whole world, Jodie Foster, who is starring in a new movie and she's. It's all in French.

[Trixie]

It's a French movie and she speaks French in it.

[Katya]

So she went to the. She went to a French school here in la. She was like five or something. So she speaks perfect. Like, not good, not great. She speaks perfect, so it's perfect.

[Trixie]

Perfect or not great?

[Katya]

No, no. So it's not great French. It's not good French. It's perfect French.

[Trixie]

Oh, okay. Sorry. I thought you were saying, like, it's not good, but it's perfect. I'm like, no, no, no.

[Katya]

It's not like, oh, my God. She. She speaks great for an American. No, she speaks perfect French.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

And it's just so cunty. I just fucking love that bitch. Right. I just love her. And I was just listening to her.

[Trixie]

What do you love about her?

[Katya]

I just love everything. And she's so smart, she's so capable. And then she has been in the. She.

[Trixie]

What about when she was, like, zooming into the. The Oscars from bed?

[Katya]

That was different. That was Covid. That was. Everybody was. Everybody was turned around, you know, Everybody was turned around upside down. I didn't love that. I didn't love that.

[Trixie]

She was in, like, a Buc EE's T shirt with, like, a Miller Light. It was fierce with her. With her lesbian.

[Katya]

The wife.

[Trixie]

Yeah. Very cash.

[Katya]

Yeah. It was just. She was like, wow.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

But she was. She's been. She's been a legend forever. Born in the game, literally. She's like, on. She was performing at the Oscars in green shoes, like, at five years old.

[Trixie]

Yeah. Singing Quite beautiful as well.

[Katya]

Yeah. And just so great.

[Trixie]

On the count of three, I think we should say our favorite Jodie Foster movie.

[Katya]

Okay. But hold on. Well, okay. One, two, three. Contact.

[Trixie]

You don't love either that or Panic Room.

[Katya]

Oh, see, you know, I didn't love Miss Panic Room.

[Trixie]

It made me think everyone should have one. Like, I bet that was. That movie was instituted by Big Panic. Do you know what I mean? Big Burgle was like, what about a movie that seems fun that is going to make our switchboard light up with. You know what I mean? Like, Fallout is being built. It's being pushed by people.

[Katya]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie]

But I think Panic Room because, you know, I have that room in my house that I never showed on TV that's kind of hidden. Do you know which room I'm talking.

[Katya]

About with all the rats?

[Trixie]

No, but I always am, like, not only is it hidden, I'm always like, I wonder if I should barricade it for the end of the world with the bottled water.

[Katya]

I mean, hey, earthquake preparedness. Maybe not the end of the world, but living in la. An earth, if you've got the space, which you do. I would highly suggest stocking any extra, like, panic room situation. With some earthquake preparedness supplies.

[Trixie]

But I shouldn't be in the basement for an earthquake. That's not good, Mary.

[Katya]

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm saying just in your house in general.

[Trixie]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Katya]

You know, like if you say you get. Your house gets. Falls apart around you and you get stuck there. Whatever. Water. Fresh potable water.

[Trixie]

I drink the pool tea or tea.

[Katya]

Wait, is it, is it chlorinated or salinated?

[Trixie]

I don't know, actually.

[Katya]

Really?

[Trixie]

The pool gentleman who comes weekly.

[Katya]

Is it clear?

[Trixie]

His name's Edmund and he, he. I don't know what he does. I can just put that in my balls. The pool water.

[Katya]

What do you mean?

[Trixie]

Squirt that in my ball?

[Katya]

Oh, yes, of course. You just. Actually, you take a little. You take a little like a diabetic needle, you stick it in, in your balls and under the water. And then the, the physics of it just. It goes right up there.

[Trixie]

And the fags are hurting, the effigies are hurting.

[Katya]

Effagies are hurting. Wait, the what?

[Trixie]

Remember, Remember when Luscious was here? She said, honey, the fags drama, the trauma, that whole episode, the little faces.

[Katya]

She was making mama it. And I, I. So I was. Mallory, my friend, was watching it. She was obsessed now with Luscious, of course. And I was, I was telling her that there was a moment where you, you can't see it, but she winks at me and I lose it. And you didn't, you didn't catch it because it was like. It was so, you know, like. And I. And I. I was annoyingly laughing at something you didn't even know I was laughing at. And I was like, so bummed because it was. It's so funny.

[Trixie]

Well, she would say something and then she'd react to what she said. She would like, say something and then.

[Katya]

Go like, yeah, yes. And then, and then, yeah. And then she was like at the tail end of something. She was like, I just love. I gotta.

[Trixie]

I love.

[Katya]

I got a passion for winking. I love it.

[Trixie]

I'd be saying, the fags are hurting. I'll be driving around la. Sayings are hurting.

[Katya]

I'm in the car. Terror, terror.

[Trixie]

My boyfriend's sick. I'm like, the fags are hurting. Like, the fags are hurting.

[Katya]

Yeah. They cannot handle this womanhood.

[Trixie]

They can't take it, girl.

[Katya]

She is just. It just doesn't get. I mean, I'm so. She's really, really, really become my favorite drag queen.

[Trixie]

Oh, my God. Same. Honestly, she's blown Lady Bunny who Out of the water.

[Katya]

She's taking all these hoes, she's wrapping them up, and she's throwing them in the garbage brick.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Cross dress.

[Trixie]

I mean, the fact that she's edit.

[Katya]

She's everything our clips and with her own audio.

[Trixie]

She's a freak from hell. I mean that lovingly. She's a freak from hell. It's great.

[Katya]

She's. She's inspiring. She's audacious. She's courageous.

[Trixie]

Firing.

[Katya]

No, I know.

[Trixie]

Fires me.

[Katya]

She is.

[Trixie]

Her creativity inspires me.

[Katya]

Also her. I mean, I'm not trying to be corny, but her courage is. She's courageous. Going into Macy's. Do you think I'm gonna go into Macy's with a bus driver on.

[Trixie]

I'm not gonna. I don't think you should. I think she can.

[Katya]

No, I think she can. And she does. And she does it.

[Trixie]

I do want one of those wigs, though.

[Katya]

You do? I see.

[Trixie]

With a bra, you know. Can you tell me whether or not I can do this? I used to have this bob, the 613 bob, when I was like, this is like pretty pre Drag Race. It was short in the back and it was super graduated long in the front. So I was like this long. I kind of loved it.

[Katya]

Okay.

[Trixie]

It was like this long in the front.

[Katya]

How much volume we talk about bangs?

[Trixie]

Not enough. But I could maybe like, sew some tracks into or something. I kind of want to go through a straight bob era.

[Katya]

I just want to know about.

[Trixie]

I never wear straight wigs, and I recently been like, how about some straight wigs?

[Katya]

Maybe with some hats, fascinators, headbands.

[Trixie]

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[Katya]

This episode is sponsored by Thrive Market. Dear Diary, it's me, Julia. It's 6:12am in Dorchester and I've already packed three lunches, located one missing cleat, signed a permission slip with grape jelly and yelled, we are not late. You are late. At a clock while trying to finish cutting the crust off three ham sandwiches before the school bus arrived. Between carpool, bake sales, book reports, I find out the night before and whatever fresh chaos my children have cooked up. I I truly do not have time to sit around calculating whether grocery membership is worth it. But then my best friend Darlene, who's the coolest of friends because she wears a jean jacket with shoulder pads and knows all sorts of things about Europe, conned me over a coffee and scone down at Grounds Fit to Boss and said, listen, just trust me. Thrive Market is the bee's knees. And you know what? It is the bee's knees. I now belong to Thrive Market, and I'm loving it. Turns out the membership breaks down about $5 a month, which is less than I spent on orange slices for the boys after soccer practice. And I can shop right on the app while waiting in line at the supermarket. Thrive provides weekly sales, auto shipping, free gifts, and the calm reassurance that no one is sneaking anything sketchy with trans fats into my pantry. My kids still get Mac and cheese snacks and juice boxes, but now it's Goodles Mac and cheese, simple mills treats and probiotic soda, which somehow makes me feel like I haven't failed as a mom. I can even filter high protein or low sugar in seconds and stop overthinking every label. Anyway, Diary, I gotta go. It's Friday night and the ladies are coming over for a Nancy Meyers marathon. The Chardonnay is chilling, the chunky jewelry catalogs are out, and thanks to Thrive Market, consider the snacks handled. Ready to make some healthy swaps and become a member? Join Thrive Market with my link thrivemarket.com bald for 30% off your first order plus a free $60 gift again, that's thrive market dot com.

[Trixie]

Bald girl. Speaking of struggling, the bricks are struggling.

[Katya]

They're crumbling.

[Trixie]

I went to Jackson whole Wyoming last weekend with heterosexuals.

[Katya]

Why?

[Trixie]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is this Jackson Hole, Wyoming? It is a beautiful vacation town for winter activities.

[Katya]

So. Oh, the skiing.

[Trixie]

Snowmobiling, skiing. Sunny Bono motherfucker, right?

[Katya]

Yes.

[Trixie]

So we get there. Love it, love it, love it. Hanging out, partying. Love it.

[Katya]

You love skiing.

[Trixie]

I haven't skied in so long. My boyfriend in college, Matt, who died, he. His family would take me skiing. So I got to learn to ski when I was younger. But I was with a group who a lot of them hadn't skied. And I thought, it's been so long, I'm gonna take the class with everybody, the group class. I probably halfway through the class could have left and gone to do other things. But I thought, don't be a solidarity, be with the group. Also, how often do you have an instructor watching you ski? You can still learn a lot. Just because you can make it down the hill without dying doesn't mean you don't have something to learn.

[Katya]

Thank you.

[Trixie]

So it was really educational. I was working on my parallel skiing and bright sunny day. The type of ski experience where it's cold but not too cold. Like not sweating, but it's like, feels like I'd be active without being sweaty.

[Katya]

And then the snow is powdery or whatever.

[Trixie]

Powdery and gorgeous and then lovely. We a middle apres ski, go have some lovely French onion soup with a.

[Katya]

Margarita, maybe a hot toddy.

[Trixie]

Of course, have two or three martinis, go back down the hill, you know, in the dark. Of course it was really, really fun. I just, it reawaken magic of skiing. Now I never skied when I was younger because where I'm from, it's definitely a rich people sport. And as I can gather, it still is, baby.

[Katya]

It is. It's that more so than golf. I mean it's. It is very much a rich person sport.

[Trixie]

Yeah. And so those type of activities, because I'm not generationally wealthy, I always feel uncomfortable because it always feels like this is the rich people function. Yes, this is the rich people function. But I have so much fun skiing. I love to ski. I love to move that fast. Love the sticks, love the outfits.

[Katya]

Yeah. It's a lot of gear.

[Trixie]

A lot of gear. Love the lifts.

[Katya]

Oh, yeah. That. That is really. I would just do the gondola all day.

[Trixie]

Yeah. Love the gondola. Loved it. Love. Yes.

[Katya]

Any. Anybody of Gwyneth Paltrow into a tree or whatever.

[Trixie]

No, but I kept saying I lost a half day of skiing. Like, I lost a whole house a whole half day of skiing. Kept saying it.

[Katya]

Well, I lost a whole half day.

[Trixie]

Lost a whole. What is a whole half day?

[Katya]

It's. It's like the entire half day, but.

[Trixie]

Not a whole day.

[Katya]

No, no, but I mean, if we're talking half. No, she's not. It's. It's a full half.

[Trixie]

Could she say I lost half a whole day of skiing? It's about. She could be cup half empty or half full.

[Katya]

She wants to really, really drive home that it was 50 of the day.

[Trixie]

And what did she say at the end when she left court?

[Katya]

She said something.

[Trixie]

Well, I wish you well. I think that's healthy.

[Katya]

She's. Yeah, because she's evolved because that guy was a. Just trying to take her to the cleaners and he was boo boo. And wasted her time. And where she could have been doing entrepreneurship for her company, cooking delicious meals for her children and her husband.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Playing mahjong with her girlfriends, perhaps. Anything.

[Trixie]

The skiing was really fun. Early, very early in the car by seven. It's a little extreme. But then the next day. The next day was a different winter activity.

[Katya]

She stay at the winter at the chalet overnight.

[Trixie]

My friend rented the most beautiful rental home I've ever stayed in. Oh, my God. So extra bedrooms. We had, like, too many bedrooms, like, for like 12 people. It was crazy. Hot tub, giant kitchen. And guess somebody who was staying there was a professional cookie chef. So I walked in and special cookies were being made. I said, yes, yes, yes. What's a special cookie? Like making the toffee from scratch that we pour on the chocolate chip cookies. I said. He, like, you want me to suck that? I was like, red.

[Katya]

He was, like, jerking the. Not jerking. He was milking the cow.

[Trixie]

Yeah. I mean, I guess I could say his name is Vaughn Vreeland. He makes delicious cookies. Oh, I don't know. But anyway, he has. He does, like, baking and cookbooks and stuff. And so I was. It's fun to watch people who are really good in the kitchen do something.

[Katya]

And it's also even funner to eat what they do in the kitchen.

[Trixie]

Yeah, they were making tacos. And I said, I think I should help. And I saw the knife skills and I just walked away. I said, like, they don't want your help. Go sit and wait to eat like a dog.

[Katya]

And I sit on the floor, they.

[Trixie]

Open the trash and they throw something away. And I'm just In there going.

[Katya]

Well, I was in the trash.

[Trixie]

So then the next day I go, gosh, skiing was a little early. And they go, well, you're gonna love this. We had to get the next day up in the car by like 6:45 or something. That's okay to go. And this is a thing like rollerblading. This is just gonna take me one second to talk about because this is like trauma. So where I'm from, snowmobiling is huge, right? People rode snowmobiles to school. Snowmobiling was huge. There's every highway, every road has a small snowmobile route. People snowballing is huge. And rich people love to come to the country to snowmobile. And country people use snowmobiles transportation.

[Katya]

But I don't.

[Trixie]

But I don't like snowmobiling, okay? It's straight. Straight men. I know straight men with ATVs, they love. I know, freak out.

[Katya]

My childhood best friend's dad, they were big into snowmobiles.

[Trixie]

Freak out. And I just don't freak out for ATVs. But of course, I'm happy to be included.

[Katya]

What is atv?

[Trixie]

All Terrain Vehicle.

[Katya]

It's not a television. That's what I keep thinking. It's. That's what I. That's what. Go on. Sorry. Go on.

[Trixie]

Atv.

[Katya]

A tv.

[Trixie]

A tv. So I get up, it's early, and they give you a bunch of warm clothes.

[Katya]

Who's they?

[Trixie]

The snowmobiling place was like, oh, you guys all have warm clothes, but if you want, here's bigger boots, here's whatever. So, like, we're suited out.

[Katya]

Do they give you a marathon crinkle blanket?

[Trixie]

No. So the night before, everybody's doing drinking alcohol. And I haven't really been drinking, so I was like, I'll do a little drinking. Alcohol. Had some alcohol. The next day we're up. It was like 7 o' clock in the morning. We're getting ready to snowmobile. I'm just like, oh, my God. Everybody's in a room this big trying on winter clothes. And I go, hold on a second. Go in the bathroom. Immediate diarrhea. 12 people, 11 people there outside the door. And I'm just in there like blood. But I thought, better now than what, halfway up a mountain on a. Like, right? And then I give them back their snow pants and say, hi, there's shit all in it.

[Katya]

I would give them back, right? I would take them home, right?

[Trixie]

And wear them. Continue to wear them.

[Katya]

You don't like snowing?

[Trixie]

I just don't like snowmobiling. And I'm so grateful to be included. But it was. It's just cold and loud and you're driving to nowhere. I just was like, we're just driving.

[Katya]

Oh, you're not going down a hill.

[Trixie]

No, no. But I did get to witness. I did get to witness an engagement, which was exciting.

[Katya]

On the snowmobile. Yeah.

[Trixie]

I've never seen it in the moment. Like real ring comes out, the person's surprised. It was thrilling. I've never, I felt like I was watching a viral video.

[Katya]

I was like, did you start screaming and crying?

[Trixie]

Well, no, but I can't.

[Katya]

What did they look like? What did they look like? But I just.

[Trixie]

Jackson Hole is very cool. I mean, Wyoming is cool. It's very country, it's very mountains, it's very brokeback. I wish I could quit. You know, it's very.

[Katya]

We don't need no lube. We're in this tent.

[Trixie]

Well, it's also very Matthew Shepherd. Like that happened in Wyoming. So it's not.

[Katya]

That's just nice.

[Trixie]

Yeah. But it is so beautiful. I mean, maybe it's cuz I'm from the flatlands. Mountains, beautiful snowy mountains. Oh my God. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Dangerous and dangerous. And this was my issue is I need. I didn't get enough sleep the night before. Right. Five hours is enough for me on a group trip. Right. And to be, you know, five hours. Yeah. Because everyone's up being partying wild and then it's up so early. But I, my arthritic self, I need the full eight hours. Right. So that's tough.

[Katya]

I five hours, especially for skiing.

[Trixie]

And it was so early and I hadn't been adding any water because of the alcohol and it was so early that no one had made breakfast. So I get in the car, you guys, at like 6am, hung over. I barely know most people in this group, so I'm trying to be my best self, but my best self help.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Trixie]

So I get in the car and I sit there and somebody was like, brian, are you all right? And I go, sorry, I'm not my normal self without food, water or sleep. Which I like totally meant like nice, but it came out. I went, I sound like I hate the trip.

[Katya]

Yeah, well, I don't hate the trip. I usually have fun, but when I'm being tortured, I'm not so pleasant as.

[Trixie]

Somebody'S pain for me to have a wonderful winter experience. And so then when I got a moment alone after the diarrhea, I went to the host and said, I hope you know earlier when I made that comment. I was just kind of. It's a way I kind of deal with discomfort.

[Katya]

And then you shove that dirty diaper in his face.

[Trixie]

I said, but I'm having a great time. And they were like, that's okay.

[Katya]

That's very funny. Also very you.

[Trixie]

So then somebody was like, should we stop? There's no food where we're going. Should we stop at this gas station? I go, yes, yes.

[Katya]

There's no food where we're going.

[Trixie]

Because I think everybody else is like, we're just here for the vibes. And I was like, love you.

[Katya]

All vibes do not have calories.

[Trixie]

If I don't get in here. Get in here in this. In this 7:11. If I don't get a drinkable yogurt and a donut, I'm gonna freak out.

[Katya]

In order for my eyes to go past a flutter in the morning, I need at least 12 pounds of sugar, right? 12 pounds. And then, like, 13 pounds of heavy cream.

[Trixie]

And then. So then I get back on the carrier, the people carrier van, like a giant. What do you call it?

[Katya]

Sprinter.

[Trixie]

Sprinter. I get in the van, and I've got. I'm the only person who's bought food, really. And I have tons of snacks, and.

[Katya]

I'm ripping through them.

[Trixie]

I'm eating little Doritos. I'm it up. I'm eating my breakfast foods. One of my foods is a Bartlett pear. I'm eating the pear, and I'm just looking at everyone like, aren't we. Don't we all feel better that we got food? Even though I'm the only one eating, I'm like, I think we're all better now.

[Katya]

Yeah. Everybody's feeling good, right?

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Wait, so they just didn't eat?

[Trixie]

I think everybody maybe had a snack before I got up, and I didn't get up early enough to eat, so maybe it's on me.

[Katya]

Or maybe they had the most incredible, unforgettable, huge breakfast and just were up late.

[Trixie]

I think that is it. I waited till the last second.

[Katya]

Okay, okay.

[Trixie]

Okay. And as much as I don't want to be the squeaky wheel, if somebody's saying, should we stop for a snack?

[Katya]

Yes. I was like, I mean, it's like. It's.

[Trixie]

That would be like, am I not a Nikki fan? Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at Squarespace, or as it was originally pronounced among, you know, over in Italy, Squares Bache. The Italians were actually the first people to decide that if you want to have any kind of business or interest or side hustle or project, you should have a Squarespace, which is basically a website that instead of having to listen when you're a brand new business or you're starting a new hobby or offering a new service, everything is already so self contained and everything's at a shoestring budget. Everything is like a tiny margin for profit. The last thing you have money for is to be paying somebody else to be like a webmaster and web designer. And this is what the web designers don't want to tell you. I'm gonna tell you guys this. I have made my own websites and I have paid people to make my own websites. And it's so much better to be the one who can just control it.

[Katya]

And update it yourself, I'm telling you.

[Trixie]

And if you're somebody who's built a website for me in the past, I hope you're listening to this. Okay? What I really love about it is the design intelligence. So basically, it's very cutting edge technology to help unlock your strongest ideas. Because the problem with making anything graphic. The blank paper. The blank paper is the scariest part, Right? But more intuitive tools and maybe even templates make things so easy to just get the ball rolling. Okay. The other thing I really love about Squarespace is you can sell content right in the website. So let's say you're a yoga instructor or you make video content or some kind of membership of something. You can literally put your content behind a paywall and earn revenue from your own website, which is pretty fabulous. I mean, if you're really trying to cultivate your own little community. I also love the email campaigns. If you can make your email campaigns interesting with really good tools and really good deals, you can really drive business that way. Go over to squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com Baldwin.

[Katya]

This episode is sponsored by Olipop. And with that refreshing sound of my Olipop can opening, I'd like to take you back. Back to my childhood. Back to Dorchester, Massachusetts. To a time when the sidewalks were our kingdom. The Rialto Saturday matinee was my church, and the sun set up just long enough for one more game of stickball. Every time I crack open an Ollipop Classic root beer, I'm suddenly 10 years old again. Knees scraped, pockets full of marbles, and racing home to listen to FIBA McGee and Molly on the wireless before the street lights came on. Ollie Pops cream soda tastes like some afternoons on the stoop, a radio humming somewhere in the distance with the Doo wop song and the world smelling faintly of asphalt baseball cards. Impossibility. That classic grape takes me right back to the corner store filled with nickel candy, wax paper and dreams of popping in that water, chewing gum and becoming the Babe ruth of the 7th street sandlot. Thing is, Olipop tastes like the sodas of my youth, but it's a whole new kind of soda. It's got that classic soda flavor with a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health with high fiber and low sugar. Olipop is my afternoon pick me up on a bad day and my quiet moment in nostalgia in a can. Two out of three Americans deal with digestive issues and most of us don't get enough fiber. Olipop is tackling both while delivering taste that truly takes you back. For me, it's not just a soda. It's a love letter to where I came from and proof that growing up doesn't mean letting go. Get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in the store and we'll pay you back for one. Works on any flavor. Any retailer head to drinkollipop.com bald olipop is sold online, drinkolipop.com and Amazon and available in the soda aisle and with the chilled beverages at thousands of retailers nationwide, including Walmart, Target, Costco, and Whole Foods.

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[Katya]

Make it quick, young man.

[Trixie]

Aw.

[Katya]

See?

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[Katya]

I think we should call a doctor. Connecting homeowners with skilled Pros for over 30 years, Angie, the one you trust to find the ones you trust. Find pros for all your home [e-mail] why won't you go to the movies? I know you don't like it.

[Trixie]

What do you want me to experience? Because when I go to the movies, it's overpriced. I sit in a room full of strangers. That's what I'm paying for. The movies aren't back. That's being perpetrated by amc. The movies aren't back, but the movies are dying, baby. We got TVs at home. The little screen killed the big screen. Okay?

[Katya]

The little screen is no match. For the big screen.

[Trixie]

Sure. But you notice the people who are saying, you have to go to the movies.

[Katya]

See, you have a giant screen.

[Trixie]

But the people who are saying you have to go, no, you don't have the movies. Are the people who make movies.

[Katya]

Generally. Generally, that is true. They're often the most Vocal.

[Trixie]

However, I. AMC Hollywood matinee of the country bears $275. I mean, that is what we're working with here, Mary.

[Katya]

If I had not seen Dune 2 in the theater.

[Trixie]

Right, right.

[Katya]

The substance in the theater. One of the best experiences I've ever had at the cinema.

[Trixie]

Sure.

[Katya]

Mulholland Drive in the theater. Are you kidding me? With friends. Talked about of hours at the cafe later.

[Trixie]

I am re watching something which is crazy, which is home videos of.

[Katya]

Me doing my naked dances making a murderer.

[Trixie]

I haven't seen it since this came out. Do you remember that?

[Katya]

I don't get into any of these.

[Trixie]

It takes place in northern Wisconsin. I remember seeing on the local news all the time when it was happening, this woman's missing, a woman's missing body. And they're trying to basically place the murderer. And the documentary kind of touches on this community kind of deciding this guy killed someone based on not enough information.

[Katya]

And he didn't do it.

[Trixie]

Well, the documentary talks about. And it's like, you know, kind of crazy. But watching it, it's just crazy because I remember it being on the news.

[Katya]

That is crazy.

[Trixie]

It was on the news every day when I was a kid.

[Katya]

It's like the Boston Strangler.

[Trixie]

What's the Boston Strangler?

[Katya]

Strangle. The guy in Boston strangle people? Yeah.

[Trixie]

Women, probably.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Trixie]

It's awful. Yeah.

[Katya]

I. Yeah. Do you remember. Do you remember that?

[Trixie]

What if you were like men, I'd be like, okay.

[Katya]

Do you remember the. I forget what it was called, but had Merritt Weaver and Toni Collette and they were playing. They were cops and they were investigating a rapist. And it was a. I think. I don't know. Was it a series or a movie? I don't. I think it was a series. Miniseries. Unbelievable. Did you watch that? It was so good because it was like. It shifted tones effortlessly from life.

[Trixie]

What was it called?

[Katya]

Unbelievable. Toni Collette.

[Trixie]

Do you want me to watch things on the big screen or a miniseries?

[Katya]

Well, no, no, no. Now I'm just. I'm compromising.

[Trixie]

Okay.

[Katya]

So I've given up on the big screen. Now I'm saying little screen. So Merritt Weaver, so hysterical. Toni Collette, obviously. And it. It. They have such a great dynamic in, in the, the tone of the. It gets very, very graphic. And, and because the way that this sexual assault guy assaults women is so specific and it's so thorough and it's so terrifying and then. But what's interesting is that they, it's the way that these characters, Merritt Weaver in particular, like, how they treat these victims is how you should treat a woman who has been assaulted. And it's like very instructive and like, illuminating at how, I mean, you can imagine victims are not believed. You know what I mean? They're just, they're. They're just discarded or dismissed. So it was like a really, really interesting, like, character study for that. But then it was also like a, like a funny kind of buddy cop movie. But then it got really serious. It was like so good. So good. And it was like. It's rare to see something like shift tones like that pretty wildly and not be like, crazy.

[Trixie]

Sure.

[Katya]

I highly recommend it. Highly recommend it. The. The Rapist or this is a little tm. I don't know. He. It was diabolical because he would make the. He would clean, like, clean all his tracks. Like, he was methodical about like not leaving a trace of anything. And he would make them shower and he would make them like. It was so fucked up. So fucked up.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

So fucked up. Crazy. You should watch it. But I don't like those serial killer documentaries.

[Trixie]

Do you think something's wrong with me that I do.

[Katya]

No, because I think they're, They're. They're hugely popular. Gwyneth Paltrow loves them. She watches them before bed.

[Trixie]

Yeah, that. My boyfriend puts them on, like when we're all supposed. Like, I don't think we need to take like a fat edible and then explore dead bodies. You know, Like, I'm always like, can we just, can we put on Sabrina? Can we.

[Katya]

Or, you know, she'd put on jellyfish or Happiness Frequency or like old timey.

[Trixie]

Music from another room while Trixie and Katya play ping pong. Like one of those crazy.

[Katya]

Yeah, like, like volcanic eruption on the Samoan Islands while jellyfish, like, mate in the Serengeti. You know, like we have one of.

[Trixie]

Those on this channel. Why do we let the other kids have all the fun?

[Katya]

Thank you.

[Trixie]

We can make our own soundscapes.

[Katya]

I. I had the jellyfish on last night and the jellyfish.

[Trixie]

Excuse me.

[Katya]

Yeah, the beautiful. I mean, there's so many. I have. You know, my nighttime viewing is usually if, like I'm still in the living room kind of late, I put on a Thing to like wind down because I don't. I haven't been reading in bed very much. So like, I put on the jellyfish instant, like drops you down. It's so soothing. And that giant screen, it's so beautiful.

[Trixie]

Right?

[Katya]

And then I put the lights on to be like, you know, to match the colors. It's so the vibes. The vibes are so.

[Trixie]

Do you sleep on the couch?

[Katya]

No, no, no, no.

[Trixie]

This is like before I turn down.

[Katya]

Because once I go up to. Once I go up to the bedroom.

[Trixie]

It'S in the bed, it's over.

[Katya]

It's in the bed. I don't. I do my thing in the bathroom and I'm right to bed.

[Trixie]

I deal with historically being with men who need the TV on at night, that's really hard for me, but I just push through.

[Katya]

That's very impressive.

[Trixie]

I push through.

[Katya]

That's very impressive. Have you ever done earplugs or cans to drown out the noise? Soup cans, yeah. Campbell's soup can.

[Trixie]

No, I. I don't need the silence. My dream scenario is that, that I fall asleep and the TV turns off and is off all night. Because a lot of times unless you turn the TV down, it wakes you the up.

[Katya]

Well, you can do the timer, right? Yeah.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

Do you have. Do you do the bone on the top of your sleep hygiene? Do you do the levitation? The. The lights gradually fading to the. The time that you want to wake up?

[Trixie]

I rigged up. I rigged up LEDs on underneath my bed so I can push a button and the under bed glows whatever color I want. That's kind of fun and funky.

[Katya]

But that won't wake you up though.

[Trixie]

Never use it in an episode.

[Katya]

Love the vibe though. Yeah, but that. I have the dawn stimulator on my hue lights to like, over the course of a half an hour, they pretends.

[Trixie]

To be someone named Dawn.

[Katya]

Dawn Davenport. Davenport.

[Trixie]

Dawn.

[Katya]

Don't wake up Don Wiener.

[Trixie]

Yeah. Listen, I don't want to talk about the weather, but after this rain, taking everything from me. This mold, taking everything from me. By the way, me co opting your storyline.

[Katya]

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a. It's a shared trauma.

[Trixie]

Yeah, it's a shared trauma.

[Katya]

Okay. We're trauma bonding.

[Trixie]

Yeah. The sun being out, I look, I walk outside in la, I look at the sky and I go, the nerve. The sun. Now, after you've taken everything from me, it's like the police arriving at.

[Katya]

You take my dolls, you take my home, you take my livelihood, you take my joy My pain.

[Trixie]

And now what?

[Katya]

Well, I'll tell you what. That 80 degree day, that Saturday when I hopped out of bed, threw on a little jean short and a little blouse slide and just fucking hoofed it over to Flippers to have some lovely souffle pancakes with Joseph, and it was 80 motherfucking degrees and sunny.

[Trixie]

It was great.

[Katya]

Oh, it was lovely. And I looked outside, there was pterodactyls on a building. It was weir weird.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

And then we went to Aesop's to get some fragrances and soaps and, and cleansers and.

[Trixie]

Oh, guess where I went.

[Katya]

Where'd you go?

[Trixie]

I love Aesop. They have that for sale at Todd Snyder at the Grove. Love that.

[Katya]

That is. I got the slab.

[Trixie]

It's so nice, Mama.

[Katya]

The shower that I took. The showers that I have been taking.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

I know I don't smell particularly good right now. Just take my word for it though, right?

[Trixie]

I. Oh, my God, I forgot what I was gonna say. We're gonna say, oh, did I tell you I went to a Drag Race viewing party for the show RuPaul's Drag Race? No, I did.

[Katya]

Okay. Okay.

[Trixie]

What? That's.

[Katya]

Is this the one with at your letter?

[Trixie]

No. Okay, that's Canadia.

[Katya]

What is the best sound off in the comments? I want to know what you think the best international franchise of Drag Race is these days.

[Trixie]

It's Pennsylvania versus Libya.

[Katya]

It's north versus South Korea.

[Trixie]

Right?

[Katya]

No, what is it?

[Trixie]

So my friend Daniel. Do you know Daniel Vincent Gord?

[Katya]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie]

He texted me, hey, where are you at? And I was like, oh, my God, I'm at high tops having a drink. So my boyfriend, I were there having a drink. I love to go for happy hour because I love to get food, because again, huge fat cunt. So I want to get some food.

[Katya]

I, I.

[Trixie]

What's wrong?

[Katya]

I Sometimes I just feel like this negative self talk is taking too far.

[Trixie]

Oh, I know. My therapist said it's my, it's my primary abuser in my head. Yeah, it's probably true.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Trixie]

Got this little nugget in therapy, too. What about this anxiety about the future? It's about what has it started? It's about what has occurred. About what could happen is about what has happened.

[Katya]

Yep, you got that. You're one foot yesterday, the other end, tomorrow you're pissing on.

[Trixie]

Today you're worried about pissing yourself because you yourself already. So, tea, I went to the viewing.

[Katya]

Party, and if you can't piss yourself, how am I going to Myself.

[Trixie]

Right. Can I get an amen? I go go to happy hour. Okay. And we're having delicious. The nachos at High Tops should be studied. They're incredible. Okay. Oh, God. What about pretzels? They got pretzel.

[Katya]

Soft pretzel there?

[Trixie]

Yeah, they do, actually. They have soft pretzel. They got corn dogs, girl. The bar food at High Tops is High Tops. Any bar food. Do you think a bar should have? They Vermont Street, Vermont Avenue. They make this delicious tequila drink called a hot rod.

[Katya]

Oh, With a hot roded.

[Trixie]

Hot. Blacked out. I'm going to say blacked out.

[Katya]

So they get with, like, tequila, whiskey, and ghb.

[Trixie]

Pretty much. So I've had two drinks and I've had two drinks and some nachos, and Daniel texts me and goes, hey, we're going to go to a viewing party of Drag Race if you're going to be at High Tops. And I was like, well, it's in like an hour and a half, and I've just been sitting here drinking and eating for two hours. So I walk home, change outfits and come back. Love that same bar, but the people who work there know me from DJing, and they're like, that new outfit.

[Katya]

No, no, listen, One life.

[Trixie]

That's great.

[Katya]

Also, maybe you had a little stain.

[Trixie]

I didn't have a stain. I was in gym clothes. I had just walked up to the reservoir and back down. Oh, so I was in gym.

[Katya]

Yeah. I should put on your tux.

[Trixie]

Yeah. Well, it's a drag race viewing party. I don't want people to be like, damn, this thing's over here in her fucking gym. Shark looking clapped. You know what I mean? Bald faggot looking clapped in the gym. Shark.

[Katya]

Honey, that chopped clap clapped.

[Trixie]

Fagettes are hurting.

[Katya]

Okay. Effigies are tore down.

[Trixie]

So, I mean, I. I don't know if you feel this way. It's almost. Going to any other viewing party for any other TV show is different than going to a drag race viewing party. Because we're you and me.

[Katya]

Yes.

[Trixie]

And I want to go see my friend and I like to catch Drag Race, and I love High Top. So I was like, let's just go. So we go. We're dreaming. This is the first episode. So busy. Incredibly busy.

[Katya]

And the only other sports night, right?

[Trixie]

Yeah. The other show that's so busy is Survivor. When that's on at the gay bars, it's balls to balls to face to titties packed survival. And this is the difference. When Survivor comes back from commercial break, people are like.

[Katya]

That, oh, baby, that gets me hard as a rock. My peanut pecker is turgid. I love that Drag Race.

[Trixie]

They could not give a. What these effags are saying. Yeah, girl. They're just. They're talking to themselves. What they would wear. Like, they don't care. I'm straining to hear these homosexuals. It was an episode where they're doing a girl group, but it was all, like, rock music. It was, like, punk girl group. It's fun to watch. I love girl group episodes of Drag Race. I like to watch them. You know, you're gonna go record your part with Raven Simone, whatever, you know, like, they have to go record on the main stage, the fake music studio, which I love.

[Katya]

Yeah. It's just a new music stand. It's a music stand with keyboard but not plugged in.

[Trixie]

Yeah. With, like, Moby and Paula Cole on the keys. Like, truly.

[Katya]

I don't want to wait, so. Damn.

[Trixie]

So I'm trying to watch Drag Race, and I'm almost like. Like, I'm almost shushing people. No, no, no. A. I can feel the staring, right? Because of course we're.

[Katya]

They're watching you watch.

[Trixie]

They're watching me watch it. And so I'm. And I like Drag Race, and I'm supportive of Drag Race, so I'm watching it, but I'm aware that I'm the only one watching it. Everyone's talking, so I'm, like, the only person like. Like. Like. Like the Pennywise Deadlights. Like, I'm the only one watching it. I think. I think the people are just waiting for the number. They're waiting for the performance on the main stage, you know, because he got the same part, says Ms. Tati. Like, that's what they're waiting for.

[Katya]

See, that's why. That's why I skip. That's when I go have a little smoke out back or something, and then I. And then I don't even watch the lip sync. I come back to see who goes home.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

I want. I want to watch the Runway. I want to watch the challenge. That's about it.

[Trixie]

Yeah. Yeah, I was. But I love to. I just. You know what? I never, like, make time to watch Drag Race, but when it's on and I have the privilege to watch it, it's a great. Love this.

[Katya]

It's a great group viewing.

[Trixie]

It's a great group viewing.

[Katya]

I mean, I wish I. Mary, I wish you could have been there that night. The night that Lala Re wore the. The. This unforgettable night where she wore the Paper bag, the gift bag.

[Trixie]

I mean, I've seen that.

[Katya]

No, I know you have seen it. But I was at Joseph and Hunter's house and there was probably 12 of us faggots and his straight brother.

[Trixie]

Straight brother loved it.

[Katya]

Straight brother was.

[Trixie]

Loved the bags.

[Katya]

Well, the straight brother was, I think, a little bit preoccupied with the death threats and invectives we were hurling at the television the whole episode. To Lala Re. No, to everybody.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

I mean, it was like the most unhinged. Most unhinged, unfettered, unfiltered homophobia. And I left there thinking that was too much.

[Trixie]

Right?

[Katya]

It was. That was too much. That was evil crime. That was evil. That was like evil. What we did was evil.

[Trixie]

I have nothing against a good folk. There's evil evil here.

[Katya]

I have nothing against drag race. There's evil here.

[Trixie]

But you know what, though? Fuck those bags.

[Katya]

No, no, no, no, no. But wasn't just the bag.

[Trixie]

Okay. She's going to say that's a funny outfit to at least dogpile on.

[Katya]

Oh, it was fabulous. That if you want to watch.

[Trixie]

Even Lala reads like girls bags, you.

[Katya]

Know, like, that's what you want to watch as a group. Because if you watch it by yourself, you have nobody to scream to.

[Trixie]

You know, you being a living room, like.

[Katya]

Yeah, so it was. But, yeah, I mean. Oh, gosh. But the way that we instantly became the most hate speech, hate speech filled, homophobic, bottom of the barrel, like, proud boy kind of people who's just like, so nuts try and take them. Yeah, it was wild. And I.

[Trixie]

The kiss my ass.

[Katya]

Yeah, it was very much that. And the straight guy was like, oh, I think she looks nice.

[Trixie]

My pronouns are gift bag.

[Katya]

That is so cunt, though.

[Trixie]

Oh, it's amazing.

[Katya]

It's amazing.

[Trixie]

It's other everybody else's and you're just.

[Katya]

Yeah, she's like reading the New York Times. She's doing the Sunday crossword.

[Trixie]

Why not?

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Trixie]

So I was fun to go to a viewing party and hang out and have snacks.

[Katya]

I wish they would have paid attention a little bit. Show a little respect for the girls.

[Trixie]

Yeah, well, it's okay. People have the right to watch it however they want to watch it.

[Katya]

But if it's. If it's.

[Trixie]

But my last viewing party was Survivor, which was pin drop silence during the show.

[Katya]

I love that.

[Trixie]

And we're talking like during the commercials, raucous screaming splits on trees. And then the second it starts, usually in gay bars, when you hear the ha. That was my RuPaul.

[Katya]

Yeah. Uncanny. Rue. Rue.

[Trixie]

Usually when you hear that, people shut up.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Trixie]

Yeah, they were. I don't know. I guess they were there for the vibes. I think these gays were there to show off their own outfits. Like, people are just there to show.

[Katya]

That gay guy showing up at a gay place and not paying attention to any other thing but other gay guys to have sex with. How unconscionable.

[Trixie]

Get the shoes. Get the shoes. Great. You went to Aldo. Yeah.

[Katya]

You know I hate all those shoes, right? Okay. The Game of Thrones finale at the bar. I don't know if this was AI. I don't think it was AI back then, but it was like when she went, spoiler. When Arya kills the Night King on episode three, the crowd erupted like it was like. Like they just won World War II. And that touched me so deeply, and I wanted to be there so bad, but I was in Singapore. Hobbled, Crippled.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

Circling a computer, limping.

[Trixie]

When you were on Drag Race, did you do your own. Did you go to viewing parties with yourself in it?

[Katya]

Yeah, I hosted them in Boston.

[Trixie]

Okay.

[Katya]

Yeah, I hosted them in Boston until. Right up until I was eliminated.

[Trixie]

I think they'll shut up if you're there.

[Katya]

Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, but it was also Jacques. It wasn't so big, and it was like. Yeah, we watched.

[Trixie]

I was, like, straining to hear this. TV and high tops has 75 TVs.

[Katya]

Oh, so many Mary.

[Trixie]

We had.

[Katya]

We had a potato that, like, with a flashlight on a little piece of cheesecloth. And then, like, somebody had a boombox.

[Trixie]

Like, that's.

[Katya]

That was our setup at Jacques. So we. You had to, like, be quiet. Yeah.

[Trixie]

I guess maybe that's a good way to get them to be quiet is to truly turn the sound down. Yeah. You know, I was almost ready to be one of those teachers who was like, well, I'll wait.

[Katya]

You just get up, stand in front of all the television.

[Trixie]

You just.

[Katya]

You tape up all the televisions.

[Trixie]

Right. I was almost, like, getting too woke. I was like, these artists put a lot into. I think we should all be a little more.

[Katya]

You have no idea how much their luggage costs to ship over there.

[Trixie]

Yeah, they should have at least hired me to caption it. You know what I mean?

[Katya]

Yes. Sign it.

[Trixie]

Well, why don't we learn it?

[Katya]

Why don't we learn ASL do you know the Alphabet?

[Trixie]

No. Perhaps Gabriel could help us. Gabriel. Gabriel speaks American Sign Language.

[Katya]

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, X, Y, and Z.

[Trixie]

Well, it seems like you got a good start.

[Katya]

I just know the Alphabet because we used, you know, we used to do that thing in high school where like we wanted to, you know, the outcasts want to just talk about everybody else. So we called like, you know, but.

[Trixie]

For non hearing individuals, is it the equivalent of being like H, E, L, L, O. Do you know what I mean?

[Katya]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we were not communicating with deaf folks. We were not. We knew enough. We knew well enough not to try even to do that.

[Trixie]

And plus I worry, you know, the brain is really a sponge when you're young. I worry that for you and I to take it on a new language at this point.

[Katya]

How dare you. We, we remain neuroplastic. Maybe not as much as we were when we were 5, 6, 7.

[Trixie]

But I've worked with you. When you have to memorize things.

[Katya]

Yeah, but that's, it's about desire. See, when those things. I don't want to memorize. But, but asl. I'm dying to learn it, you know?

[Trixie]

You know, it should be really cool.

[Katya]

I really. Because I, I. Yeah, it would just be really cool.

[Trixie]

It seems like a. It seems like it's, it seems like it would take a lot of work.

[Katya]

Well, I mean, it's a language, right?

[Trixie]

Yeah, right. Have you ever heard of Krispy Kreme?

[Katya]

Are you kidding me?

[Trixie]

Was it crispy?

[Katya]

It was creamy.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

The first time I had a Krispy Kreme was in Las Vegas and I could not believe it.

[Trixie]

It's. I know that, I know that it takes a year off your life every time.

[Katya]

Take, take all the years off. Because what I'm used to is America runs on Duncan, which is horseshit.

[Trixie]

They're fine. No, no, no. This spring I like, but it depends.

[Katya]

On what time we're going to the store.

[Trixie]

You got to go.

[Katya]

Are we going at 5:30am or we're.

[Trixie]

Going to 5:30pm so Zeroman, if you're going to spend the money you want to go in the beginning of the day.

[Katya]

Yeah. 5:30pm is when they give you a hockey puck with a, with a, with a.

[Trixie]

And they throw it at you.

[Katya]

Yeah, they throw it at you. And you didn't order anything.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Yeah.

[Trixie]

Well, do you know what the king of this is? The ones at the airport. They didn't bake those. They didn't. They didn't make those donuts in the airport. So they get brought to you from another location. Airport donuts are always flopped out.

[Katya]

No, mama, I went to this a Store in Las Vegas and. Or like, it was like, you know, not a store, but it was. They baked them there. And that thing. When that thing went in my mouth, I could not believe someone.

[Trixie]

Krispy Kreme.

[Katya]

Yeah. Oh, was there the glazed donut?

[Trixie]

It was. Pull them out and give it to you. It's. It was like, real.

[Katya]

I was like, holy. I instantly had two more full body chills. Yeah. I was like. I was transformed.

[Trixie]

Have you been to. What's that airport? I think it's LaGuardia. Denver has Voodoo donuts. I believe in the airport.

[Katya]

Okay.

[Trixie]

Those are great. That's the ones with, like, cereal on them.

[Katya]

Yeah. I mean, I like those. Those are really nice and fun, but those are. What I love is the simplicity, like, the simple. The simplicity of Krispy Kreme. Because I just love a glazed 100.

[Trixie]

I love a glazed. And I love the chocolate glaze.

[Katya]

Of course.

[Trixie]

I love donuts. Love if there's ever a donut. I. If there's a donut, I'm in.

[Katya]

I love donut.

[Trixie]

You will never see me walk by donuts that are available to me. I could be so full that food is coming out of my throat and I will find room for a donut. I'm like Seline with the shoes. What size do you have? I make them.

[Katya]

I make it work.

[Trixie]

I've worn the shoes like this.

[Katya]

You've already had three meals, sir. That doesn't matter.

[Trixie]

Doesn't matter. What size do you have?

[Katya]

What? Boston cream or jelly?

[Trixie]

Neither. We're not doing fillings.

[Katya]

Okay, great.

[Trixie]

Love it. None of this. He. She. We. We're not doing feelings.

[Katya]

No filler queens.

[Trixie]

No fillers.

[Katya]

I. I mean, I agree. I. I don't.

[Trixie]

Yeah. Yeah. Love it.

[Katya]

Maybe chocolate frosting.

[Trixie]

Maybe someday we can go do a collab.

[Katya]

A collab.

[Trixie]

Why don't we just go in Collab A dough lab.

[Katya]

We don't have to. We could just go and eat there.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

We could just buy the.

[Trixie]

Some kind of donut collab. Randy's donuts by the airport. The Trixie and Katie donut collab.

[Katya]

Or we just go to Krispy Kreme and have a bunch of donuts and pay for them, eat them and go home.

[Trixie]

Yeah, we could do that too.

[Katya]

There was a Krispy Kreme in Atlanta when I went to visit David and baby, I just. I. He was. Went to the bathroom. I ordered six more donuts and ate them while he was in the bathroom. I'm not joking. Not joking.

[Trixie]

Your metabolism is incredible.

[Katya]

I. I love. I. America runs On Duncan. I run on sugar.

[Trixie]

Yeah. You know.

[Katya]

And look at me. Nothing's wrong.

[Trixie]

I love breakfast.

[Katya]

Breakfast is.

[Trixie]

You will never.

[Katya]

Lunch wishes she. Lunch is so jealous. Lunch is so jealous and torn up and just twisted about breakfast.

[Trixie]

Who cares?

[Katya]

Yeah. And. And dinner. She's so far away. They don't even with each other.

[Trixie]

You know what lunch is? It's like New Year's. New Year's really thinks it's a holiday. That's the most disappointing. Who cares?

[Katya]

No. Lunch is Labor Day, Mom.

[Trixie]

Yeah.

[Katya]

Lunch is Flag Day.

[Trixie]

I wake up hungry, fantasizing about eggs and toast. I eat an egg almost every single day.

[Katya]

I wake up thinking about scrambled eggs, a little dry with lots of hot sauce, salt and pepper. Sourdough toast with butter and grape jelly toast.

[Trixie]

You faggot.

[Katya]

Crispy bacon.

[Trixie]

Yeah, Crispy bacon.

[Katya]

Fucking fluffy pancakes. Just one little triangle of French toast. Maybe a brioche. French toast with some maple butter and then a sausage and then an orange juice. Gets a good old acid reflux. Oh, yeah.

[Trixie]

To get that bubbling all day.

[Katya]

Oh, yeah. To throw up later that night.

[Trixie]

What about grapefruit juice?

[Katya]

No, no. Because I'm doing a pot of coffee as well.

[Trixie]

Right.

[Katya]

And then I'm good.

[Trixie]

Do you make your own coffee every day?

[Katya]

I do.

[Trixie]

You do? Do you have one of those machines?

[Katya]

No. I grow. Well, I go out.

[Trixie]

I go to Columbia Press or whatever.

[Katya]

No, no, I. I do. I get ground coffee. I. I'm very basic. I do. Mr. Coffee.

[Trixie]

What do you think of instant coffee?

[Katya]

Instant coffee is disgusting.

[Trixie]

I had a roommate who drank instant coffee.

[Katya]

It's absolutely disgusting. It's. It's undrinkable.

[Trixie]

Is it just. It's just powder and water.

[Katya]

It's just. It's. It's not even powder. It's like. It's like. It's like gr. It's coarse. It sucks. It's disgusting.

[Trixie]

That just, like, gave me a chill.

[Katya]

Yeah, it's gross. Sanka, you're welcome. Bye. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Do you love coffee? Let us know.

[Trixie]

Hot cough.

[Katya]

Good moves.

[Trixie]

Okay. Bye.

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