The Bitch is Back and She's Got Cake with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Bitch is Back and She's Got Cake" with Trixie and Katya

Episode Details

• Title: The Bitch is Back and She's Got Cake
• Hosts: Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova
• Release Date: October 29, 2024
• Podcast: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
• Host/Author: Studio71

---

1. Welcome Back and Reflections on the Break

After a three-month hiatus, Trixie and Katya return to their podcast, sharing their experiences during the break. They discuss the challenges of stepping away from social media and how it affected their perception of the world.

• Trixie Mattel reflects on the break:
  "I felt like I left the matrix. I felt like Keanu because I was already bald." [08:30]

• Katya Zamolodchikova adds humorously:
  "I'm in so much debt." [25:04]

2. Navigating Social Media and Information Overload

The hosts delve into their absence from social media, highlighting the overwhelming nature of online platforms and the spread of misinformation.

• Trixie Mattel criticizes mainstream media:
  "The failing New York Times or MSNBC? You need to watch the Drudge Report." [03:20]

• Katya Zamolodikova shares her frustration:
  "The FDA is also corrupt and ridiculous." [11:37]

3. Exposing the Veneer Technician Scam

A significant portion of the episode focuses on a fraudulent scheme where individuals are deceived into becoming "veneer technicians," only to engage in illegal practices.

• Trixie Mattel explains the scam:
  "People would pay thousands of dollars to learn how to do this... they're committing a crime." [04:09]

• Katya Zamolodikova compares it to other scams:
  "That is crazy. That's like the legging scheme, but fiercer." [04:53]

4. Debunking Myths and Chiropractic Critique

The conversation shifts to debunking common myths, such as the color of blood, and expressing skepticism towards chiropractic practices.

• Katya Zamolodikova clarifies blood color misconceptions:
  "Blood ain't blue, mama. She's red all the time." [05:23]

• Trixie Mattel shares her experience with osteopathy:
  "Chiropractors receive like, a third of the training of an osteopath." [06:43]

5. Reality TV and Authenticity

Trixie and Katya discuss the authenticity of reality TV shows, particularly those related to drag, and how much of it is genuine versus staged.

• Katya Zamolodikova questions authenticity:
  "Do you think that anything done on a reality show is authentic?" [19:21]

• Trixie Mattel responds with a nuanced view:
  "It is real. But of course, unless it's Big Brother style..." [19:44]

6. Travel Troubles and Airline Experiences

The hosts share humorous and frustrating experiences related to air travel, comparing different classes and airlines.

• Trixie Mattel recounts missing a flight:
  "I missed it. I flew economy." [27:16]

• Katya Zamolodikova comically comments on seating classes:
  "First class isn't that great. It's like a hotel suite, baby." [30:14]

7. Personal Relationships and Gratitude

A heartfelt segment where Trixie expresses her appreciation for Katya, emphasizing their strong bond and gratitude towards their listeners.

• Trixie Mattel shares her feelings:
  "I love working with you. I love being with you. I don't know where I would be without you." [24:37]

• Katya Zamolodikova echoes the sentiment:
  "I missed you when you were gone from the podcast." [25:11]

8. Pop Culture Musings and Anecdotes

The duo touches on various pop culture references, including movies like "Beetlejuice," and shares amusing observations from their everyday lives.

• Katya Zamolodikova praises "Beetlejuice":
  "It's a perfect movie. The cast is so strong. It's so funny. It's actually scary." [49:28]

• Trixie Mattel comments on movie theater experiences:
  "You have so many different types of experiences available in terms of seating at a movie theater." [29:35]

9. Health and Wellness Discussions

The conversation includes discussions about therapy, medical practices, and personal health routines, blending humor with genuine insights.

• Katya Zamolodikova promotes BetterHelp:
  "Just think about it. We have to give it up on Facebook, mama." [08:45]

• Trixie Mattel shares her struggles with medication:
  "The needle goes in, I scream until it comes out the entire time." [44:50]

10. Final Thoughts and Closing Remarks

As the episode nears its end, Trixie and Katya reiterate their appreciation for each other and their audience, promising more engaging content in future episodes.

• Trixie Mattel emphasizes gratitude:
  "The gratitude normally is something I have to force on myself." [57:35]

• Katya Zamolodikova adds humorously:
  "We’re in the top 0.01%. You know what I mean?" [57:49]

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Trixie Mattel:
  "I felt like I left the matrix. I felt like Keanu because I was already bald." [08:30]

• Katya Zamolodikova:
  "The FDA is also corrupt and ridiculous." [11:37]

• Trixie Mattel:
  "People would pay thousands of dollars to learn how to do this... they're committing a crime." [04:09]

• Katya Zamolodikova:
  "I love working with you. I love being with you. I don't know where I would be without you." [24:37]

---

Conclusion

In "The Bitch is Back and She's Got Cake," Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodikova offer a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and sharp social commentary. From exposing scams to discussing the authenticity of reality TV, their dynamic conversation provides listeners with both entertainment and insightful perspectives. Their heartfelt appreciation for each other and their audience underscores the strong camaraderie that defines their podcast.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Here for, I guess my 100th mint commercial. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, honestly, when I started this, I thought I'd only have to do like four of these. I mean, it's unlimited to Premium Wireless for $15 a month. How are there still people paying two.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or three times that much?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm sorry, I shouldn't be victim blaming. Here, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Save whenever you're ready.

[Trixie Mattel]

$45 upfront payment, equivalent to $15 per month.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

New customers on first three speed slower.

[Trixie Mattel]

Above 40gb CD tails.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You can get the most important meal of the day any time of day.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm Talking about the $5 big deal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Breakfast Meal from Jack in the Box.

[Trixie Mattel]

Available all day and all night. A breakfast Jack with a freshly cracked egg, a hash brown and French toast sticks for five bucks sounds good. For breakfast, lunch and dinner at Jack.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Every bite's a big deal.

[Trixie Mattel]

Order Jack's five dollar Big Deal Breakfast Meal now. Something is different here.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Something is different. I don't. Can't quite put my finger on it. It's your blush.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, first of all, it's the set.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my God, you're right. Wow, look at this incredible set. Everybody's gonna hate it. They're gonna pop off in the comments by how ugly it is. So why don't you shut the fuck up, bitch? You ugly bitch. We got a new set and it's gorgeous.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I love it. And we're not at my house anymore. HOA be damned. We were filming at my house.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, fuck those. Yeah, that. What is it? What is hoa?

[Trixie Mattel]

Homosexual owl ass. No, it's Homeowners association Owners Association.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Which is a crock of shit. It should be coa. No, cos. Crock of shit at my.

[Trixie Mattel]

House over there in Hollywood for a while. There's a fine print in the. If you don't. If you have a flower pot on your patio that's not natural color, they fine you 250amonth. And for a good year, they find me $250 a month for having pink flower pots.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, right. Because it has to. Look, girl, fuck them and their whole families and their whole. And their grandchildren too.

[Trixie Mattel]

Fuck their holes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I want to say something very important to you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Welcome back, welcome back. Well, you guys, can we just clap in the studio?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm back, dude. She's back. Back, back. You're back again.

[Trixie Mattel]

The remix and back again. You know, it feels like I'm back, but also we filmed Netflix the last two days, so it feels like I've been here for 12 years.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I got to tell you, the break, three months. I thought in the beginning, oh, it's going to fly. It's going to fly. It's going to fly. Work to me, working, make things fly. It felt like a year. In a good way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I felt like, really? I have not seen any of you in a long time. Internet. I wasn't on social media, so I was like, that part, three months of no social media.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's very, very. It changes your brain.

[Trixie Mattel]

The only thing I got my news from was from watching the news.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, which, the failing New York Times or msnbc?

[Trixie Mattel]

Cnn?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Liberal media, they don't know what they're talking about.

[Trixie Mattel]

You need to watch the Drudge Report.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And Ben Shapiro's program. You really get up to date. God, yeah. Well, you really watch the news on television. I haven't watched the news on television since 9 11, baby.

[Trixie Mattel]

I watched it this morning and I saw something crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What?

[Trixie Mattel]

So there was a guy in, I think Atlanta and he. Wait, where was it? There was a guy on the Internet and he was giving people instruction for becoming a veneer technician. And people would come over, they would fly to where he was. They would spend one whole day watching training videos, YouTube videos. And the next day there was a fake dentist office set up in his house and he would teach a batch of like five of them how to glue on little fake teeth to people's teeth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my God. And then this is like saw the.

[Trixie Mattel]

People would pay thousands of dollars to learn how to do this. And then they would go on the Instagram and be like, hey guys, I'm a veneer tech now. And the comments are instant. Like, that's illegal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you're not. You're not. Dentist being bitch.

[Trixie Mattel]

They were just teaching them to use the, what do you call it? The, you know, like the, the two part polymer whatever that they make fake teeth from. They were teaching them how to form a tooth that would go over a tooth, glue them on one by one. Which, by the way, veneers are not the front of the tooth. They wrap around the back of the tooth, too. It's a full, like, cap. Yeah. So these people are getting on the Instagram and being like, I'm a veneer tech now. And their closest best friends are like, baby, what are you doing? Do you know what I mean? Like, what the fuck?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That is crazy. That's like the legging scheme, but fiercer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because now you've been tricked out of twenty five hundred dollars, three thousand dollars, whatever it was, plus airfare. And now. And you're committing a crime.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. You are actively. Oh, man. I want to be a fake dentist.

[Trixie Mattel]

But then again, you told me chiropractors aren't real.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Listen, chiropractors are real because they exist. Okay?

[Trixie Mattel]

We don't know about that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no, no. I have. I had to make some retractions while you were gone. I had. I had to do some editor editorial notes.

[Trixie Mattel]

What happened?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, we. I said blood was blue. Blood ain't blue, mama.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought it was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought it was blue until it comes out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's. That's what we all thought. No, it's not true.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't look over here. Like you don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, oh, before it's oxygenated. It's like, no, it's not blue. It's red, Mama. She's red all the time, every day. The other thing was chiropractor blood is.

[Trixie Mattel]

Red only if you look at it. So if you have a beaker of blood and you really quick look, it'll be blue for a second and turn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's blue when you not looking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Just like Toy Story. Like, when you leave, the toys come to life.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And they fuck each other.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Secret Life of Pets.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We bought a zoo.

[Trixie Mattel]

What? The movie. What?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We Bought a zoo.

[Trixie Mattel]

People don't buy zoos. I did have time to watch some television while I was gone.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, wait. Let me finish the story.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Retraction chiropractors. So that statement is controversial, and I don't believe that. I trust. I know some medical professionals with medical doctors who have this opinion. Chiropractors are scam artists. So I trust these doctors. But that's just my opinion and my trust. So that's. That's my statement.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I went to an osteopath.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That also sounds scam, Tina.

[Trixie Mattel]

And he told me that chiropractors receive like, a third of the training of an osteopath.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think it's like a weekend conference in Boca and you become a chiropractor.

[Trixie Mattel]

Be your own chiropractor. Everybody watch this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Oh, I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nothing cracked.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I wish you could have heard this. My neck just cracked so fiercely. But guess what?

[Trixie Mattel]

Hold this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no. That's such a lie. That's such a vicious lie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, wait. My friend was apparently fisted all weekend and then went up to, like, a little getaway, and I guess was farting so much, and I am a child. I would have. I was like, I cannot believe I wasn't there, because I would have laughed my ass off all day long because not smelly farts. Not smelly farts. They were like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, no, they smell.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, they didn't. I. It was. It was reported back to me that they did not. And I believe. Who's verify.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who's verifying that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The person who was with this person.

[Trixie Mattel]

Somebody is down on their knees going, no.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're in the same room. If you cut a nasty fart with your gross, nasty ass and it smells like poopy nasty, that's gross. But if you just go. It makes me laugh because I'm a fucking child.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hate farts, okay? I hate them. And if I get tickled, I'll fart, and then I'm mad. So I go from hysterical and mad that I'm being tickled, and then angry.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Farts, and then you do angry shits and you shit yourself, and you get really angry.

[Trixie Mattel]

Every time I. Every time I fart, I get embarrassed. How to delete my Facebook. Just the app. I keep the profile, girl. Can I just say I know people might. We. I know. Can I? I'm so happy back. I got so much to fucking tell you, bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Coming in hot. Coming in hot.

[Trixie Mattel]

After three months on social media, let me tell you, after, like, a week, I felt like I left the matrix. I felt like Keanu because I was already bald.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, I unplugged. I was like, wow, the Internet doesn't matter. Social media doesn't matter. Of course it does, because people are influenced by it to do things, think the wrong things.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Russian hacking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Especially politically. People learn things that aren't true.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. But echo chamber.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Internet doesn't matter. But what really doesn't matter? We. You have to. We have to give it up on Facebook, mama. We have to give it up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have not. I have stepped foot onto Facebook since 2016.

[Trixie Mattel]

But when I go to Wisconsin, people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's where people will be sharing the piece.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you see this?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're in therapy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't even know my own Passwords?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, no, they had to. They. In order to sell ads on Instagram, the promoters for our tour had to Da Vinci Code into Facebook. And it was the most laborious, insane, difficult process to get into my Facebook.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who's using it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know. They are to like sell out, you know, like to advertise for our tours. I have not logged onto Facebook since I saw like urine therapy.

[Trixie Mattel]

If you want to know when Facebook's peak was, the most followed drag queen on Facebook is Jujubee.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so what? That's like 2002.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do what you will with that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. Facebook is.

[Trixie Mattel]

That makes perfect sense. And a 19 year old draggers fan might go, who is that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who is that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my God. Wait, you're not watching Global All Stars, are you?

[Trixie Mattel]

Girl, I have not consumed drag. I went to a couple drag shows.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You did?

[Trixie Mattel]

I went to a couple drag shows.

[Drew Droege]

Where?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it was Daniel Cole's birthday and I went to his drag show. Yes. I went to Louisville, Kentucky to watch his drag show. Louisville brunch. Louisville. Louisville, bro, you don't say Louisville or they will sleep slap you across the mouth.

[Drew Droege]

I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you don't say Nevada. It's Nevada.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, you know what, people?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's Nevada.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nevada.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's Nevada.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who's saying Nevada?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People who don't live in Nevada.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, that's. That's going to Nevada.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But it's, it's. That was like a joke on Veep all like all through the series. Like Selena Meyer says Nevada and she gets corrected every time by it's, It's Nevada. And that's funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

People say. People always say Wisconsin. I'm going up to Wisconsin. I don't know what that is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I had a friend named Anna who was like very like, she was gorgeous put together. She looked like that. Like that bitch. Sophisticated, A little older. And the teachers called her Anna and she's like, my name's Anna.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, no, but you're Anna. You'll be going crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They just assumed that she would be like, oh, you're a princess. This is so weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I know, girl. I had. I started drinking again during my break. Let me tell you, drinking, there's something fun there. There's something going. The hangovers are worse than I remember.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, really? Why don't you take a probiotic or a prebiotic in a postbiotic? What about ritual symbiotic plus?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I do. Well, you still take a lot of vitamins.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think that the vitamin industrial complex is a crazy, unregulated, ridiculous Industry also. The FDA is also corrupt and ridiculous tinfoil hat is secured onto my head right now.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you watch the QAnon documentary?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I haven't.

[Trixie Mattel]

I watched the QAnon documentary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You did. Can you tell me like in a summary, give me a summary of what QAnon is, because I'm actually not even really clear about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

It is hypothesized to be a person or persons who has very close personal information to like world governments, things that are going to happen, conspiracies around like certain political figures, somebody who basically claims to be in the room with the president.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, like, and then going on the Internet and giving very clouded and like colluded.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So like political blind items, I guess.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. And there's also. Obviously there's also nobody knows who it is and there's a lot of ups and downs of is it real, is it fake, is it multiple people, is it one person, is it nothing? Right. But the problem is enough people believe it that they believe this crazy information.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That came from nowhere and they can't trace the. The IP address.

[Trixie Mattel]

I guess not. I mean, I watched the documentary because I was like, you know, downtime when you're not scrolling, not even tick tock.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You'Re looking nothing, you're listening.

[Trixie Mattel]

You got to just do. You got to do things.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You got to be.

[Trixie Mattel]

I watched. I finished the Gypsy Rose Blanchard program.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Were there two of them?

[Trixie Mattel]

There was one.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. There was the, the. The dramatization. There was a couple of them.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, that's the scripted one. That's from like five years ago.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

The one I watched is one that follows her the day she gets out of jail.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do they give her money? I'm assuming?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, they just shake her down. She gets robbed every episode. Did they give her money? Did they give her money?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did she eat lunch?

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm gonna call her. She should get paid. And in the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She only was the D is fire, right?

[Drew Droege]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, that's. I would say the other most famous thing she was involved in was like high level abuse. You know, all that keeping it light, her family pretending she's sick, yanking her teeth out, surgeries for no reason. So the program, obviously the log line is, oh, we know this girl from a murder within her family unit that she was involved in. But the picture into. I mean, none of us can relate to being famous for that reason, that long, that young in that way. Your parent being murdered partially by your involvement.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it exploitative, this documentary, do you think?

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, listen, a woman leaving prison who probably has Limited employment options. It's probably one of the best. I bet you a lot of people leaving prison would say, yes, I'll take the TV show. Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. She could have been my assistant. She blew it, though.

[Trixie Mattel]

So for the first, like, six episodes, she's with her little husband that she's married in prison, and they're trying to make it work.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She married the husband in prison?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is he an inmate?

[Trixie Mattel]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, he's a visitor.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People, something about.

[Trixie Mattel]

We moved to Burbank by the airport. Let's take him. Coming.

[Nick]

Today's episode of the Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at BetterHelp. I gotta take a moment to thank somebody in my life. I'm very thankful for you guys. Just to shout them out. Nick, who does the podcast. Nick, who does my YouTube channel. I would be nowhere without the extra help, without somebody to edit, make strong artistic choices and support me and bounce ideas off of, like, it really is amazing. And, I don't know, all this time apart, like, away from drag, made me feel really aware of some of the thank yous that I owe people in the world. So thank you, Nick. I mean, this month is all about gratitude. And along with Nick, I mean, another person we don't thank enough is ourselves. Right? We don't always remind ourselves that we're trying to make our best sense of everything in a crazy world. And it's not easy. And here's just a small reminder to just thank yourself, the people in your life, including yourself. You know, I've benefited from something called BetterHelp, which is talk therapy, you guys. When I started talk therapy for the first time, it was really strange to be at a place in my life where I was. I needed somebody to talk to who didn't know anybody in my life. And I needed an outside point of view, because sometimes that gave me so much more clarity than the people in the situations with me, if that makes sense. And it really, really helped. Just pull all the pieces off the board and put them back on in a way that made sense to me. And then everything that was, like, really slowing me down, I was like, okay, small bites. I know what this is. I've talked about it outside of the situation, and now I have, like, a plan. You know, knowing what parts of myself triggered in which ways or responded in what ways, and having a plan, just knowing what to look for and how to recognize it and how to diffuse it changed everything for me. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's online. It's convenient, it's flexible, it's on your own time. You can change therapists at any time for any reason. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a therapist. And I mean you can, you could like add things like let's say you wanted an LGBTQIA specific kind of specialized therapist or a therapist for marriage or a therapist for like, if you're at a time in your life where you're switching jobs, which that can be really stressful for people to be switching jobs. Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com bald today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com bald today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Rakuten. It is officially spooky season, which means now it's officially, I mean, let's be honest, holiday for retail started in like August and I like already started sweating because I am, I am a very difficult person to shop for and a difficult person to shop. I'm just like not, I'm telling you, my best friends, the closest people in my life, I know everything about them when it comes to gift shopping. I swear to God, it blackout. I remember no personality traits. I don't know what they want, what they like. It's just I'm not a gifted gift giver. But luckily with Rakuten, I can save a lot of money this holiday season because you can stack holiday sales and deals on top of cash back to maximize savings at over 3,500 stores. Stores will be at the highest cash back rates of the year, all the way up to 15% cash back at some of your favorite brands through the holiday season. You guys, that's the kicker. You do all the holiday shopping and then in January you go spend all this money on yourself. Hello. Here's how it works. I mean you go to your favorite stores. I mean things like Zappos, Urban Outfitters, Nike, I mean Macy's, I mean like Neiman Marcus stuff. You just go there for holiday shopping anyway. Get cash back at hundreds of stores across every single category. Fashion, beauty, electronics, home essentials, travel, dining, like all the gift giving stuff and so much more. Rakuten also finds you the best deal sales and coupons. They do the work of searching for coupon codes so you can save time and money. Plus, membership is free and it's easy to sign up. Join the 17 million members who are already saving. Start all of your holiday [e-mail] or download the Rakuten app to start saving today. Your cash back really adds up.

[Trixie Mattel]

So.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It'S a small one. It takes a little while.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then in the last couple episodes, she decides she misses her old boyfriend. So she breaks up with her husband, gets back with her old boyfriend, and gets pregnant in about three weeks. It's giving mother, and she's about to give mother.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's giving jailbroken mother. Do you think that anything done on a reality show is authentic?

[Trixie Mattel]

Uh, yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, I've done enough reality programs to tell you, you play the truth, but you might pretend it's one day when it's another day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. You know, is that authentic?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, if you and I were on a show and we needed to have a conversation about how we're moving our drags, Moving our podcast studio.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

They might be like, oh, you and Trixie are going to be getting out of drag on Friday. How about while you guys are taking your makeup off, we film you talking about how you're going to have to move your studio?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

We really are taking our makeup off, and we really do are doing that to show the viewer that we might have to have that conversation on camera.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, interesting.

[Trixie Mattel]

So it is real. But of course, unless it's Big Brother style, where there's cameras on you at all times, you do need to sort of time important conversations. Unless you're gonna have them twice.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I don't think that I watched an episode, two episodes of All Stars 2 this morning. And first of all, why? I don't know. I don't know why. Because I finished Global All Stars, and I'm waiting for the next episode. So it's like, I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna see what this season is all about. Because I. I was talking with somebody, and they're like, All Stars 2 is the best season. And I agree. But I put it on. I was like. I had hair. Super receding hairline. My skin looked incredible. My skin looked amazing. No makeup, bright studio.

[Trixie Mattel]

No makeup?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. My skin looked better out of drag than it did in drag.

[Trixie Mattel]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it looked really good. And I'm wearing this stupid fucking shirt. Like, I'm like a. From the Peanuts. Yeah. Like, I'm the. The Peanuts.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm the wacky gal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And I'm. And I'm looking at. Listening to me and Detox in Alaska, and Roxanne's like, what is this? It's so. I. It doesn't look real. I don't know. I don't know. I don't trust anybody.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, it's realer than scripture, but it's not a documentary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I know it is. Like. And I know what we're. I know that the whole time I knew what was going on in All Stars. I knew that I felt the presence of the camera. I was performing always.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know what I mean? Like, I never got vulnerable in All Stars.

[Trixie Mattel]

But also, you and the audience both know there's cameras there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

And so part of the reality of it is how do people act when they're competing and there's cameras all around.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like Housewives is real. If you think of how these women want to maybe protect their. Defend their family in a conversation. And there's cameras, so everything's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And alcohol. Alcohol is a big one that we don't have.

[Trixie Mattel]

Drag Race had more alcohol.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, it's the only show I've ever been on where I'm not allowed to drink whatever I want.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because all these faggots in the program. Just kidding. I don't know any. I don't know any. You're still smoking, huh?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cigarettes. Yeah. I bonded with Joel Kim Booster, who was a guest last week. I was.

[Trixie Mattel]

Isn't he beautiful? And I. Nikki fan, mama.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Am I a Joel Kim Booster fan? I would. In the most uncreepy way, I would literally do sec. I would cut up his body and have sex with the chunks. Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's not creepy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I would. Every chunk would go fucked. No, I would leave no chunk unfucked.

[Trixie Mattel]

Go out to Wisconsin and do it. They'll be like, sure. Hey.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But anyways, we had a cigarette, and I was like, God, this is so weird, because nobody smokes and they shouldn't smoke, you know, Especially since, like, the most important man on planet Earth that, I don't know, David lynch, has emphysema. That really rocked me to the core. Not enough to quit smoking, of course, but it is to. Just enough to give me pause.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's bad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's horrible.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's bad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Vaping is bad, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

What do you think about the kids doing the Zen packets?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nicotine itself, the chemical, I do believe, is not bad for you. It's a stimulant. It's like coffee. It really is like a. It's a cognitive enhancer.

[Trixie Mattel]

You think I should do the enema with it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think you should be. I'm surprised that you're not tubed up right now, that you're not packing up the butt.

[Drew Droege]

No, no, no.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The coffee enema oh, right, right, right. Because that's really good for you, especially if you're trying to quit smoking.

[Trixie Mattel]

I did do some light tanning this summer, which I know is bad in.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The booth or in the sun.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I was biking every day, and if I didn't keep up the tan, would I be biking around without a shirt on? I would get fucking sunburned.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I was like, fuck if I don't keep a low level brown.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just saw when you had, like, a sleeveless shirt on before, I saw the color. And you tan extremely well.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's for. You're really lucky. My old raggedy rotten Irish ass is either white transplant, transparent with the veins, or red.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's tough. It's horrible.

[Trixie Mattel]

I brought you some gifts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you didn't.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, I did. I thought about you a lot during the break.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You did?

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I say something? I was afraid to be honest with you, but let's just do it. Give me your real hand. The other one. I want to be close. Be close to me. Oh, it's wet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. I told you, I don't clammy. I'm not a handholder. I thought a lot of these clammy hands must touch.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought a lot about which parts of my career I really care about. Everything with you is, like, my favorite part.

[Drew Droege]

Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm gonna, like, have a. I'm gonna take a dump.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love working with you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love being with you. I love talking to you. I love touring with you. I don't know where I would be without you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you gonna throw a pie in my face?

[Trixie Mattel]

No. I just love you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God. Thank you. This is so weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I just. You're, like, the only person I called to talk to during my break. Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I care about you. I'm waiting for the anvil to drop on my head.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, thank you, but I just. I think we should keep doing this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think we should, but we will. I have to. I'm in so much debt. By the way, I did think a lot about you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Your foreclosure tour is because you only have one house now, which I love. You think I'm rich and out of touch, Allison.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, it did occur to me how much I missed you when you were gone from the podcast. We had great guests.

[Trixie Mattel]

You hate talking to people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's listen. Interviewing. Yeah, interviewing. We're okay, right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

These are dynamic for the folks listening there. You might hear some planes in the background because we are Close to the airport.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's one of those Chimo Boeings that rips the clothes off the kids. The Chimo Boeings that rip the clothes off the kids. Oh, my God, I forgot to say what happened to me before I give you your food. I feel like. You know how I like, never miss flights. Remember it ripped the clothes off that kid. How could I forget an entire plane of adults? And that plane said, oops, naked child. I think that's fucking crazy, right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nude and somehow wet, glistening child on the airplane. Tempting all of those pedos. Boeing, you should be ashamed of yourself. For shame. Boeing.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was departing Los Angeles, lax and I was going on a non work trip. And I said, I don't need a car booked for me. Our managers, I can. I'm not going to make our managers book a. Book a car for a personal trip that's not work related. I was just trying to be like, I'm on break. So pathetic.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know how to buy. I know how to buy a plane ticket.

[Trixie Mattel]

Took my whole brain power to buy a plane ticket and.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, you bought the plane ticket yourself.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. Wow. But I don't feel bad because Kathy Griffin doesn't even know how to use UberEats. When I go to her house, she's like, should we get delivery? I don't know what to do. And she hands me the phone and she only voiced the text. She can't talk, she can't type.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So it's all, well, that I understand. That I understand big wet fingers and bad vision.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm like, why don't you know how to use Uber aids? And she's like, go look at Miami's. Like, she doesn't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, honey, I win Emmys. I don't order food, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

So departing flight out of lax. I had all the time in the world. I could have left at any time in the day. It was like a noon flight.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, what happened? You missed it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm in line, I'm late, I can't check my bags. And they go, well, if you want to fly today, we're gonna have to put you on another flight. You either have to go LA to Salt Lake City, to Atlanta, to Kentucky, where I was going. Or.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or I would have just gone.

[Trixie Mattel]

Put you in coach.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Now this is where the listeners are really going to empathize.

[Trixie Mattel]

And this. No, no, no. This is where I went. Okay? The level of that that just gave me. Who is that little girl? Who's that little girl who grew up in a trailer, shitting in a hole? Where is she? Now, where's that little girl who would just be grateful to get on that fucking flight in steerage, Bitch. What would you say, little Trixie from the Brewster Project? You know, like, where's that little girl? So I flew. I flew.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You flew out coast. I flew out economy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Economy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Not comfortable.

[Trixie Mattel]

Both flights were economy, right? Both flights were economy, right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Stars, they're just like us.

[Trixie Mattel]

And you know what? Can I tell you? Can I tell you. Can I get up here? I wish you would stand on this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. I have put on some weight. Okay. Everybody's been saying you look healthy, you look happy. Fuck off.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

What people used to ask me, what's wrong?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Yeah, you look great. What's your secret? Depression.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I'm just going to tell you, this coach isn't great. It's not much worse than first class. That whole situation sucks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Here I am going to. I'm going to. I'm going to agree with you on that. Because guess what? First class isn't that great, Mama, in.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not worth the money.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Perfect comparison. The movie theater, right? The movie theater. You have so many different types of experiences available in terms of seating at a movie theater. There are movie theaters that are flat, not raised at all, with very shitty narrow chairs with, you know, flat steel backs or whatever, like a prison. And then you have craftmatic adjustable beds that are heated and massaged and are plush and incredible that you can go almost flat.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That and there's a whole range in between.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Whole range in between. First class in economy don't even take up a tiny fraction of that range.

[Trixie Mattel]

You get a couple more inches, you get a little more armrest. You get a bag of chips and a drink before you take off and the. The ticket is three times the price.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or if in. There's a difference between first class is a different story.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm just saying. I think I'm going to become Ms. Delta. A comfort plus.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Girl, Mama, you still get the bag.

[Trixie Mattel]

Of chips and you still get the leg room.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But here's the thing. The only. The thing that I do like about for business, not first, because that's different. Y'all need to know about the difference between business and first.

[Trixie Mattel]

Tell them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, we're flying Emirates and we're getting first class. It's a hotel suite, baby.

[Trixie Mattel]

Emirates, first class.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's another world, though. That's another world.

[Trixie Mattel]

Emirates, first class.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, did you need me to jerk you off? Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you want Heath Ledger to come back from the dead and fuck you? Yeah, yeah, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Discreetly, with the Shades drawn in the eucalyptus. Candle lit.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm just saying, I. I just feel like the whistleblower of first class. Like, like, ooh, I've been to Georgia and like, I've seen both sides now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Also I think it should be. I. I swear to God. They should just make all the seats, like, they should go all the same. All the same seats, all the same size. Sorry. And then it should go by age. Youngest in the back, oldie up the front.

[Trixie Mattel]

Totally.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Every single flight.

[Trixie Mattel]

Time to live.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Every single flight.

[Trixie Mattel]

Absolutely.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're traveling with your baby. She's going in the back.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's going in the back.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Unsupervised. She will be caged though. Just like I am for Locktober.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, let's take a break.

[Drew Droege]

This episode is sponsored by curae. Hello to all you amazing people. I would like to tell you a little story about a woman named Katya who received several gorgeous leather handbags last holiday season and always strives to keep them looking pristine despite the wear and tear from wearing them on stage whilst sweating like a prize winning Iowa hog in the August sun. For most of my career, I had to replace my handbags every few months because life on the road would essentially turn them into shriveled raisins covered in sweat and lipstick. Well, I have now made an amazing discovery and I want to share with you the magical company that helps my handbags stay fresh and new amidst the abuse they received due to my life in Dragon. I want to tell you about Curae. The ultimate solution for protecting and preserving your purse collection, ensuring they stay beautiful and basically last forever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Think about it.

[Drew Droege]

You clean and maintain your clothes, your house and even your body. I spent an enormous amount of money on an exfoliating stone from deep in the Himalayas just to ensure that my face and posterior are as smooth as a stick of butter. So why not give your luxury handbags the same care? Those bags are an investment, just like my buttery smooth cheeks both north and south. Now with cure, you can make those purses last last a lifetime. Plus, if you ever decide to resell them, Keuray helps keep your bags in excellent condition so you can get top dollar. In today's world where over consumption and waste are big environmental issues, it's never been more important to make things last as long as possible by taking care of our handbags with Keure, you can do just that. I adore Keure. I used it on several pieces during the live bald and beautiful shows last year. And those purses look exactly the same as the day I bought them. If you want the same wonderful results, don't hesitate. There's a limited supply available, so head to mycure.com to get your leather care kit today. That's my C u I r e.com the best way to make your handbag last forever. This episode is sponsored by zocdoc. As my spiritual advisor and Tupperware salesperson Ezra always tells me, life is not something that you can plan for. Just like Jeff Goldblum once said, life finds a way. But even though life is chaotic, there are actually times when crapshoots and chaos are okay. For example, over the weekend I attended a haunted house even though I knew that at some point a creepy clown would jump out at me, reawakening a key moment from childhood trauma from Billy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Jackson's birthday party in Boylston.

[Drew Droege]

I went anyway because surprises can ultimately.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Be a lot of fun.

[Drew Droege]

Did I pee my pants a little bit when the clown grabbed my shoulder? Sure. But did I get some very inexpensive exposure therapy and face an irrational fear and therefore become a better person? You better believe it, even at the expense of my now ruined white pants. While crapshoots like these are assuredly worth the risk, finding the right doctor shouldn't be a total crapshoot. That's where ZocDoc comes in. ZocDoc is the preeminent place where you can find and book doctors who specialize in the specific field of medicine you need, whether that be neurology or podiatry. You can filter for doctors who take your specific insurance, who are located close to your home. If you're like me and hate to drive, and most importantly who are highly rated by real life verified patients, you can also see their real time appointment openings. Choose a time that works for you and click to instantly book a visit. Plus, Zocdoc appointments happen very fast, sometimes within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. You can even score same day appointments. The Best part though ZocDoc is free, you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. With ZocDoc you've got more options than you know. I love ZocDoc because I am preternaturally busy and I don't have time to waste hours researching doctors to see which one would be best for making sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

My bionic hip is still operating at its full potential.

[Drew Droege]

I want to see verified reviews by actual patients and I want to see them quickly and easily. Zocdoc helps me find the best doctor in my area and Book them fast. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of Zocdoc. So stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com Baldwin to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Zocdoc.com/zocdoc.com Baldwin this episode is brought.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

To you by Allstate. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to check the date of the big game first before you accidentally buy tickets on your 20th wedding anniversary and have to spend the next.

[Trixie Mattel]

20 years of your marriage making up for it. Yeah, checking first is smart.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Do you know that I have a cage on because it's a locktober?

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, somebody I know did not know what that was and I had to Google some images of it. I will say the technology is shocking.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, there's a lot. There's like, we have range.

[Trixie Mattel]

We have not figured out how to detect, you know, congenital cancers, but we have. We know how to lock up a dick where you can still pee. What?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And have it coordinate with your, like, your mood.

[Trixie Mattel]

Get AdamandEve.com an oncology unit, and let's fucking make it happen. I. There is a new. There's a new Thai restaurant over by our house. And I got this yesterday because in the picture, I thought it was like a small personal cake, and it came and it's huge.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it cucumber?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't. Girl, I don't know what this is. They could tell it was white.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This looks so crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

They came up to me and they gave it to me and they said, just so you know, you should refrigerate this because they were obviously like, you don't know what you're eating.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so this looks like a. What does that look like? It looks like foam.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think it looks like a Ding Dong.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it looks like. It looks like a drag queen foam padding. Oh, yeah, you get downtown. I wish I could get cucumbers and marshmallows in it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm gonna cut you a big piece, you fat cunt. Eat up, pig.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Eat up.

[Trixie Mattel]

I will still never recover from that. E. Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah. Just grab it with the hands.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I am extremely suspicious about that inside.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, should we split it? Cuz what if it's nasty, do you think it's going to be nasty? I think it's going Ms.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nasty.

[Trixie Mattel]

You think it's going to be nasty without ketchup?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think it's going to be Miss Nasty.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's. Listen.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, yes. What if you pulled up a. Like a big shitty dildo?

[Trixie Mattel]

Listen, we went. I want you to show some respect to my sisters in Thai town because what if. This is amazing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay? Now, the number one thing people love to hear on a podcast is chewing. So here we go.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't like it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I'm not gonna try it.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, you have to try. I brought it for you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. Oh, God. Smells like pig.

[Trixie Mattel]

Actually.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait a minute. No, it's fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, wait a minute.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait a minute.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's cunty. It's lit.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wish I knew.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What is this in the middle? Like some kind of boo boo frosting?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know what it is, but it's good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, but it looks. It's fresh. It looks like slimy goo.

[Trixie Mattel]

It tastes like pistachio or something, doesn't it? Oh, I brought these.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then chewing and then nutting.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. Sorry, everyone. Listen, we're back. It's as. It's as worse as it was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you have a favorite guest while I was gone?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, did I have a favorite guest? Not even a contest.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, Madison. Damn the chewing. I'm sorry, everybody. Whatever. They're in their Volvos. They got that sound turned up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Kristen Shaw. Kristen Shaw. She had a great episode that had me in stitches from start to finish. The moment she entered the. The. The facility. She came through the door. I was on the floor laughing until the very end. And then. T.S. madison, of course, but. And I was like, I. I watched.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're kind of interchangeable as people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. They. I mean, I couldn't pick them on the lineup.

[Trixie Mattel]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, I don't see color or size. Right, Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're blind. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Yeah, they were great. And then it did occur to me that I forget who it was, but I'm not gonna say who it was. One episode where I was like, oh, shit. You know, sometimes it. Maybe you should prepare, because I was like, you know, you can't just. You can't. You can't walk into an interview and expect the same kind of natural back and forth banter that you've developed with a person very closely over like, seven years.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And it's not like. And I did a Grinder podcast where I Have. There's producers questions. It's segments, you know, I mean, it's all very structured.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I have like cards to look at it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nobody here does anything.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, they. They build shitty sets. Just kidding. This is a slay. Slay, slay, slay. The rope comes down and just hangs me. Yeah, but it's, it's. It can be difficult.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have I missed anything online? Because, you know, I haven't been online.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What about Mudang? You know about Mudang? Yeah, I just learned very briefly about her.

[Trixie Mattel]

They told me about that in a video.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Diddy. Diddy and her dildos. Girl Diddy and her dildos.

[Trixie Mattel]

Me. Me on. On Eastern Standard Time, watching the morning news. I called you early on PST and I said, 784 dildos at Diddy's house. You said, oh girl, you so crazy. And then you like. You thought I was joking.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of course I did. I thought it was a click hole thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

The. Isn't it sad that I saw that in the news and you're the first person I thought of. I said, I know who's gonna.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, three of those dildos were mine.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just want to say, in respect to all the people who were absolutely violated by. That's a horrible situation. My heart. Oh my God. Can't imagine.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How many gallons of baby oil do you need?

[Trixie Mattel]

How many dos do you need?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, apparently, and you know, I, I am reticent to talk about true crime because I don't really fuck with the truth. But like truth social. Apparently someone was telling me that every member of the staff was equipped with a fanny pack full of drugs and stuff. It's like. So the level. It was like, I know, pushing the, Pushing the boundaries of depravity and debauchery, but I'm still trying to get my Sky Med thing off the ground.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it's. I'm telling you, it is the. It is one billion dollar shark tank investment kind of deal. But they're too chicken shit to bite.

[Trixie Mattel]

But have you done anything to make it happen?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, not really. But that doesn't change the fact that it will work.

[Drew Droege]

Sky Med.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Doesn't it sound great? Sounds alluring.

[Trixie Mattel]

What I wish it was is a type of flight where it's like a.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Intravenous drugs and you get. Yeah, no, it's very. It would be very post apopolyptic kind of like a megalopolis type of scenario where like there's like, there's a kind of like a post like another civil war kind of lawlessness Like a Mad Max kind of like every man for himself kind of vibe. And then we're flying is dangerous, right? It's really expensive. It's crazy. So you might as well have like cocaine, champagne, you know, whatever. Like up there you need.

[Trixie Mattel]

I gotta tell you something. I. I think I aged a lot this summer.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, you look horrible.

[Trixie Mattel]

I biked a lot and I saw a lot of young people. I biked through a lot of college campuses.

[Drew Droege]

Don't do that, Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

Maybe stay away. These, these 18, 19 year olds, they're. They're young, they're tight, they're plump. They have their whole lives ahead of them. Long blonde hair. They're not having sex, they're not drinking alcohol. They just. Let me tell you what the kids love.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Gert.

[Trixie Mattel]

The kids love the long socks. Yes. The kids love the giant, giant apple headphones.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

If you don't have those 600 Apple headphones, you need to kill yourself.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

You need to kill yourself.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Those fucking headphones don't turn off, by the way. Well, they don't fucking turn off. Yes, I looked. Yes, I checked. Yes, I read the manual. They don't turn off. There's no off button to those fucking IMAX headphones.

[Trixie Mattel]

Big brother's listening.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mommy. They're always listening. They're all up in my business. Checking for my dildos. Trying to count my dildos through the headphones. You can't do that.

[Trixie Mattel]

What do you think is a heavy number of dildos? I would say for a reasonable person.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so I have. As we all know, I have professional porn friends who make a living and also enjoy, as a hobby, gang things. Shove it up their ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

I said normal people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, normal people. Three, right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Let's say it's a three. A, A three way girl love triangle.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or it doesn't have to. It's just a butt. We're talking about going up the butt.

[Trixie Mattel]

But just. What I'm saying is just the butt, butt, butt, butt. And then you got two, one in each. That's six in use at any moment. And then if you want to get wild, one in each mouth. That's not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then two, you're hold. You're stuck to the wall. You're using as a brace.

[Trixie Mattel]

So how do we get to almost 8, 100.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, that's when exact. That's when general generational wealth hoarding comes into play. And the, the Illuminati and the, the wealthy elite of America going unchecked and unlitigated.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's rampant. It's it's just more, more, more, more, more. How do you like it? How do you like it? It's crazy. It's like a. It's. It's cartoonish. The level of depravity. Unfortunately, it does involve sex trafficking and horrible traumatic abuse. But it's like, when do you stop? I want to be like. I want to look him. I want to grab his knee and be like, when? Why can't you just. Just say the party's over.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They had IV doctors going in there to administer fluids so they could still keep sucking and for days and days.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. By the way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I'm.

[Trixie Mattel]

When they're shocking you, mama, I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

About pushing it to the limits.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But as someone who has gone to the limit. Very, very gone to the limit.

[Drew Droege]

I understand.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, let's take a little step back from the ledge.

[Trixie Mattel]

What I don't understand is intravenous drug use. I love everyone on my new arthritis medicine. I had to ditch Humira because she.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Was not giving, and that was intramuscular.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right now it's Simzia, which is a full. It's not a. It's not a. It's a syringe.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Really?

[Trixie Mattel]

In the. Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

In the thigh or the buttocks or.

[Trixie Mattel]

The second it gets injected, the needle goes in. I scream until it comes out the entire time. And it hurts every time. And it's horrible and traumatizing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Now, is it. Is this a diabetic needle? Like a. The gauge? Because I had a brief flirtation with hgh. Is it.

[Trixie Mattel]

What's hdh?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hgh, Sorry. Human growth hormone.

[Trixie Mattel]

Now what does that do?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So it just. You like or whatever.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you get taller?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. No, I was. It didn't work.

[Trixie Mattel]

Let's make you lose weight.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no. It was supposed to, like, enhance the effects of working out.

[Nick]

Oh.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did it work?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. I only took it for, like, three weeks. I was like, I don't know. This is crazy. I'm not sticking myself with a needle.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is in between the toes. No, people be doing between the toes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like I did with the Amy's cat. It's like you. You pinch a bit. A bit of belly fat. You stick it in. You don't even feel it in the. You had to do it, like, at 6 in the morning. So, like. I know I had to.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I had to wake up at, like, it was like, ideally five, and then go back to sleep. And so I did that. I set an alarm, and then I pinched the fat and I go back. Wait, go back to sleep?

[Trixie Mattel]

I Missed a departing flight at LAX at noon. Do you think I can make an injection myself at 5?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So you wrote economy. You wrote economy with the plebs.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wrote an economy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you know, what about the proximity, other people. That's, I think, the main benefit of a higher tier of travel.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not acting like the first class isn't better. I'm just saying for how much more it is for business.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also depends on the airline.

[Trixie Mattel]

It all sucks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You take a flight in Europe, every seat sucks. Ryan Air. Eat my ass. Eat my whole ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

Take this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Take this fork and stick it in my ass and eat it.

[Trixie Mattel]

You and I, she and I just declined to go to the UK in January. I said London in January.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Should we just kill ourselves, girl? No, girl. It our like, absolutely. Like, she's like the arch nemesis in the. In the. In the comic book story of our lives. Ms. UK.

[Trixie Mattel]

She is. And she keeps coming back. I also got something else for you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that the Holy Bible? What is this? Oh, my God.

[Trixie Mattel]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what's funny? I just watched this whole series.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. What did you think of that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. Oh, my God. I haven't. I read this book.

[Trixie Mattel]

I lifted that off a dead person. No. I did.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, shit.

[Nick]

I did.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know our friend who died? My older mate.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was at his house, he would.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Want me to have it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was. They were like, do you want any of these books? So I took that big penis book, that coffee table book of all the huge schlongs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I don't know. I took it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then I was like, wait a minute.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is a person who would want sturdy volume. And I don't with book jackets because they always just get all ripped up and stuff.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I thought about reading it and I was like, I think I should give it to her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I watched this series and it is. It's quite good. I don't like the vampire Armand in it, which is tough because he factors in quite a bit. But it's a great. It's a great show. Is so bloody and it's so horny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is gay as shit? Bloody as hell.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Horny.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you do a lot of drag while I was gone?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't believe that I like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you have to cross dress a lot?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did I? I don't know. Oh, well. I just did a wonderful gig. I think I did a wonderful gig with Abrijeet Bidet and the best picture of me ever. The best photograph of me ever taken, which just happened in My career.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow. I saw that picture. That's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I honestly think. Rachel Ziegler, I think is her name. I'm gonna contact her.

[Trixie Mattel]

Rachel Ziegler, isn't that you? That woman from the Hunger Games photographed you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Katniss Everdeen?

[Trixie Mattel]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Jennifer Lawrence?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yep. No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, wait, wait. I'll tell you what I mean. Yes, I've done some shows. Who cares? But I have gone to the movies, and I know everybody's like, the movies. Who wants to go to the cinema? It's all about streaming on your couch. No, it's not, because your phone is turned off. You got that popcorn, that pretzel, that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Six and a half pizzas, that bucket.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of fucking Coca Cola.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Well, we went to see Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice together. At the movie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What did you think of that?

[Trixie Mattel]

I liked it. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I thought it was fine. It's. I rewatched Beetlejuice recently, which is a perfect movie. Yeah, I believe it's a perfect movie. The cast is so strong. The story is so incredible. It's so funny. It's actually scary. It's so cool. It's such a fucking great movie. Movie. Such a great movie. But I thought the really only cunty part was when Monica Bellucci was stapling herself together.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. That was so cool.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a hard. Also, I think Wiona was kind of like. She still had that frazzled, strange, stranger things energy. You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Maybe she's frazzled, but I feel like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Lydia would be so. Because the young Lydia was so like. Like whatever. You know what I mean? She was unfazed. She was dark and depressed and unfazed. She was unbothered.

[Trixie Mattel]

Saw a woman take a. On the street yesterday. Welcome back to la. Saw a woman take a.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You saw the cheek spread and the thing coming out.

[Trixie Mattel]

I didn't realize. I, like, looked over and she was standing up and I was like, well, that a. Standing Done Now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was, oh, okay, she's done.

[Trixie Mattel]

Now she's pulling her pants back up. She's done.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, I. When people ever. When I was just in San Francisco, and whenever people bring up San Francisco, I tell them that when we were there for Trixie and Katya, I saw three people taking shit in the same day.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, well, you know, when animals shit inside, we slap them on the nose. And when humans shit outside, we're like, what's wrong with you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

So it's weird.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. We should.

[Trixie Mattel]

You want to have that conversation?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The kitty cat.

[Trixie Mattel]

Meteorologist, not somebody who studies meteors oh, God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why is it. Why is it shipping when it's on the highway and cargo when it's on the water?

[Trixie Mattel]

I still wish we had. I sometimes mess this thing up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Think about it. Think about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Think about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Think about it. We were at. What did we do last night? Oh, we were at Netflix and they did a montage of the years from maybe 20 years or something, and they said, oh, 2000. Whatever this happened. And of course, the ever given or the evergreen blocking up the Suez got me. Got my blood boiling red hot. That was a great time.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, I was a great time.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And there was a moment in time.

[Trixie Mattel]

I recently canceled a bunch of subscriptions and one of them was Amazon Prime.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's brave.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought to myself, if I need something, maybe I should just go get it. Maybe I should want it bad enough that I have to go get it. I applaud that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I applaud that. Support your local mom and pop cvs. No, but I do. You know, this. The subscription I was. I got an email alert. Your subscription to Raya has just been girl for $60 or something.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah, I haven't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I haven't opened. I don't even think I've ever made a profile on that app. Well, there are so many porn sites that I am subscribed to that I will never be able to unsubscribe from. I've just. I've made my piece with that.

[Trixie Mattel]

What?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I, I, I try.

[Trixie Mattel]

I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You were in foreclosure, Mama. I'm. This is why. This is why. Grinder Extra, even though I am literally working for them.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, that's $99 a year I'm working.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

For them, and they promised me a free subscription, and I'm sure if I contacted them, but I can't figure out who to be.

[Trixie Mattel]

Baby, I don't have free World of Wonder or Netflix. Let me tell you, they're never coming through with the free.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They never subscribe. Everything. You know what a movie I want to watch. I will not be digitally blocked behind a paywall if I want to watch that feature film, really, if it is accessible through Cash in My home, there is no. It's over. It's over.

[Trixie Mattel]

There's no God in the heavens that can keep you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's no bank account. There's no checking account with a decline or overdraft that will keep me away from that film.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because, honey, when it comes to watching movies and experiencing art, I am very indulgent and over excessive. Yeah, and off the hook.

[Trixie Mattel]

I gave up Strava, which is like a running app. I gave up Strava. That's tough, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fuck those apps.

[Trixie Mattel]

I gave up the Amazon Prime. I gave up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, Amazon prime is. But that's a whole bunch of stuff.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I got planet fitness. Oh, $20 for any club, anywhere, anytime with a guest, including tanning.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you fucking kidding me? I subscribe to the bougiest, fucking most pretentious gym in la and they fleece me every month, girl. They fleece me, they take my close up and they whip me like Jesus.

[Trixie Mattel]

If you go to just your Planet Fitness by your house, just that one, it's 10 bucks a month.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's not a Planet Fitness.

[Trixie Mattel]

But if you go to just the one. Oh, let's say we're on tour and want to go to any of them. It's only $20. And let me tell you, I love girls at Equinox. We were on tour last time and we were making a lot of money, and I said, you know what? I want to go to a really good gym. Fancy, nice gym. Because when you live on a tour bus, I want nice showers to use. Better than the venue showers. Ice cold. Cold, dirty, disgusting, you know, whatever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cat hair.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. And I went to the. And they were like, you know, we have clubs everywhere. We have clubs all over the country. We got you, girl. Baby. Mandala. Poor work there, baby. I never saw another Equinox. Every city I went to is like, oh, we don't have one. Oh, we have one. It's 20 minutes out of town. Oh, we. There are. And then in order to quit out of there, you had to have a new address. So I had to use my address in Milwaukee to fake like I moved to get under that filthy fingernail of Equinox. Those conc.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Those despicable robber baron pieces of.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I know there's celebrities there. Good for you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I went to Equinox a few times. Girl, it's crowded, it's crowded, it's cramped, and it's all like, I. If. Why not? When I go to the gym. What? My dream gym scenario involves clean, well, air conditioned towels aplenty. Showers are lovely. And machines unoccupied.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. I mean, if I wanted to see a bunch of like, I don't know, I don't care about.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

The status of going to a nice gym.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Also, these girls are so fierce with their lashes on at the gym. Cunty lashes on, dusted, painted. Because I guess they're fishing. Yeah, they're fishing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I do a lot of The. Because of my arthritis, I had to give up a lot of the real cardio. So I just bike during the day and I lift the weights now, which has been great because I could get tired. 35. Trying to be quote, unquote, skinny has been a impossible ideal my entire life. And only. Only at extreme emotional lows am I able to actually lose an inch or two in my waist. And that's not really sustainable. And I saw like, well, if my DNA thinks I'm a white trash Biggie Biggin, why don't I just lift weights and be a muscular Biggin?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There you go.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I mean, also, there's. I've been a. I think drag gives.

[Trixie Mattel]

Me mild body dysmorphia. We're supposed to be tiny, petite women. I'm six nine. I'm £450, sweetie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You think that. Do you think that cross dressing professionally would have a little bit of an effect on how you view yourself out of drag and in drag?

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought it would make me. Saying, I'm a male. Look at me, I'm a man under here. I look great. Instead, I'm like, great. I think my ribs are permanently shaped like this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Honey. I'm stuck in an elevator and only half the floor is, like, available, and I can't get out. You know what I mean? Like, that's what. It's these girls who main. Who vigorously maintain a masculine identity out of drag and then a full fledged C Divo personality. Indra with all the stuff.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who. Who are they?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, they. They exist. They do. They do exist. They're the ones who, like, in the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Context of those who came before them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You think they fell out with a coconut tree? No, but they. They, they do. They, like, they build the, like, get mus. Oh, actually, maybe they don't exist.

[Trixie Mattel]

They don't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. Sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

They know. They're just young. They're just skinny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I can't believe you're a drag queen and a twink. Actually, I can.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I can. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then all summer I was like, I'm tan. I have a beard. I feel so happy. My skin looks so good. Oh, drag destroys your body.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. Drag destroys your body and ruins your life.

[Trixie Mattel]

But we're here.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. You know, you know what I tried to do the other day? We got to wrap up, but I'll say this one thing. I tried to have sex in drag.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can we talk about it next? Yes, I want to hear about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Stay tuned.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I say, before we go, this is like more of this episode thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Of my whole break, it just. Honestly, I love working with you.

[Drew Droege]

Thank you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel this way.

[Trixie Mattel]

We are extremely privileged to be doing this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Are you kidding me?

[Trixie Mattel]

I've always thought that. But all this time away, I really have thought, God damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And we only have this because of the people who listen to us and watch us.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I thought about it every single.

[Nick]

Day I was gone.

[Trixie Mattel]

The gratitude. Normally, gratitude is something I have to force on myself. So I feel more.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because I'm so busy. I don't think about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But this whole summer, just thinking about, like, oh, my God, we're so lucky.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I mean it. Like, yeah, we work hard and we're funny, but we're in the only fans of life. We're in the top.01%. You know what I mean? Like, for real. Like, honestly. And I, when I went on did this gig recently, a song that nobody likes and choreography that didn't exist because I didn't do it in shoes that I can't walk in, looking great, but doing horribly by any stretch of the imagination. They were living because it was me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, these local queens shooting themselves out of a cannon like pink. So you and I go out there, walk in oval shape to a song they don't know, and go home.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Barely strugglina with the B side of a Ukrainian has been. And like. And they're still living. And I'm like. And I'm like, wow, this is. That. That's gratitude. I mean, I promise I will do better next time, but like, it's like, you know. You know, it was humiliating for me.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think as drag queens, 42 is where people really hit their stride, you know?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think the best is yet to come.

[Trixie Mattel]

Totally. Okay. Bye.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bye. Wait, wait. And don't forget, take care of yourself. That's from the substance, which you haven't seen yet.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, sa.