The Bride and the Betrothed with Trixie and Katya

Summary

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Episode: The Bride and the Betrothed

Release Date: March 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova unpack the wild world of weddings—ranging from Trixie’s poignant and comical adventures attending and working at weddings, to musings on wedding aesthetics and traditions. They bounce between personal anecdotes, observations about wedding culture, body image discourse, and the sometimes absurd standards of contemporary beauty. All peppered with their signature blend of absurdist humor, off-the-cuff wisdom, and candid vulnerability. The episode also veers into spirited takes on sports, home decor, and self-improvement—with a few memorable (and raunchy) tangents, naturally.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Memeification of Tragedy and Online Culture

[01:52 - 04:27]

• Trixie comments on dark viral memes about “America’s Next Top Model"-esque photo shoot tragedies.
• Katya bemoans the oversaturation of “think pieces” from Substack and Vulture, and describes the "senseless collabs" culture (e.g., Substack x Polymarket, Chipotle x Crocs).
• Trixie: "We do have to be careful as a society of the senseless collabs." (03:59)
• Both are critical of the emerging blend of journalism with gambling/prediction markets, finding it nefarious and potentially addictive.

2. Gambling and Addictions

[04:27 - 05:03]

• Both hosts seriously discuss the dangers and social damage caused by gambling addictions, referencing friends and family with hidden struggles.

3. Thrifting, Fashion, and Body Image

[05:14 - 06:21]

• Discussion on the evolving thrifting scene in LA versus elsewhere, high prices at trendy shops, and waste in fast fashion.
• Katya shares difficulties finding secondhand clothes due to unique body shape, and making her own drag garments.

4. Trixie’s Wedding Makeup Storytime

[07:10 - 09:46]

• Trixie recalls being stiffed by a client on her wedding day, whose theme ironically was “money.”
  • “You probably could have told me when I got here that you didn’t have it. And I probably still would have done it, but waiting till the end...” – Trixie (09:16)
• Katya bluntly decries the client's behavior: “No offense. That woman is a fucking bitch.” (09:26)

5. The Emotional Experience of Attending Weddings

[09:49 - 13:07; 18:20 - 22:52]

• Trixie describes feeling overwhelmed with emotion at a Jewish wedding as a guest—crying more than the family and feeling self-conscious.
  • “I’m all in… I’m crying so bad that I’m getting self conscious because… you’re not allowed to cry when you’re not involved that closely with the family.” (10:58, Trixie)
• The “cookie table” tradition at Pittsburgh weddings: “It’s a cookie swap at a wedding. I think it’s cute.” (20:04, Trixie)
• Affection for intimate vs. large weddings and how weddings become non-stop tearjerkers for Trixie.
• Katya: “You can cry anytime you want. Just not in the car on the 101.” (20:24)

6. Wedding Themes: Classic vs. Quirky

[23:57 - 25:46]

• Trixie discusses how the TikTok trend is pushing “classic-elegant-timeless” weddings, and whether that will age well.
• Both hosts prefer classic themes over more eccentric options—but discuss the “freaky-tiki” and “vintage gym prom” ideas.
• “Classic never goes out of style. That’s why they call it classic.” – Katya (24:56)

7. Jewish Wedding Traditions Observed

[25:57 - 29:44]

• Trixie describes standout moments—including Rabbi Janet’s roasts during the ceremony and the deeper meaning behind stepping on the glass.
• Amused anxiety over the tradition of lifting the bride and groom on chairs:
  • “Nobody up in the chairs looked relaxed… I would be scared of people who’ve been drinking in slippery dress shoes holding me up…” (28:57, Trixie)

8. Looksmaxxing, Alpha-Beta Culture, and Body Modification

[29:59 - 33:49]

• Spirited discussion on the idiocy and dangers of “looksmaxxing” (especially among men) and the distinction between healthy care and dangerous obsession.
• Katya elaborates on the connection with incel culture and the extreme, sometimes harmful lengths people take.
  • “Looks maxing is just about physical appearance… it came from male incels back in the 2010s.” (33:23, Katya)
• Trixie and Katya both emphasize self-expression and self-awareness over toxic competition.

9. Movie Tangent: “28 Years Later: Bone Temple” and Horror Media

[39:35 - 44:15]

• Katya shares an enthusiastic review of the horror film "28 Years Later: Bone Temple," news of alpha zombies, cult-like gangs, and extreme scenes.
• Jokes about streaming vs. going to theaters—bemoaning the high prices of in-home movies.

10. Critiques of Sports, Especially Football

[46:26 - 48:24]

• Both hosts admit to being haters about American football.
• Trixie: “It’s so much of nothing happening… there’s so much stopping and starting in football.”
• Preference for the constant motion in soccer and other sports.

11. Makeup on the Go & Drag Queen Hustle

[48:51 - 53:26]

• Katya recounts the stress of preparing for a university gig on zero sleep, using Trixie’s advice for speed makeup and just “moving on with your life.”
• Discussion about makeup shortcuts, techniques with cream/liquid under-eye products, and problem skin/aging.
• Trixie and Katya swap tips about streamlining drag routines and strategizing beauty regimens for minimal time and maximal impact.

12. Cosmetic Procedures: Botox, Cryo, and Cold Plunges

[61:36 - 64:07]

• Trixie discusses getting Botox specifically for sweat control (essential for drag and music festivals).
• Katya tries to persuade Trixie to use glycopyrrolate pills for hyperhidrosis.
• Both mock and commiserate over the discomfort—and sometimes pointlessness—of cryogenic wellness trends.

13. Body Positivity and the Ethics of Insult Comedy

[54:00 - 59:42]

• The hosts reflect on where to draw the line between playful shade and cruel, superficial attacks.
  • “I don’t like making fun of things that people can’t change… I kind of feel like it’s up there with being bald…” – Trixie (57:15)
• Katya shares a moment of self-reflection about judging someone’s looks in public and the importance of “let them live.”
• Both agree that meanness toward people for unchangeable aspects is tacky—reserving real venom for those who “actually do evil.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We do have to be careful as a society of the senseless collabs.” – Trixie (03:59)
• “No offense. That woman is a fucking bitch.” – Katya, on the wedding client who didn’t pay (09:26)
• “If we’re not crying at a wedding, when are we supposed to cry?” – Trixie (20:15)
• “Classic never goes out of style. That’s why they call it classic.” – Katya (24:56)
• “Looks maxing is just about physical appearance… it came from male incels back in the 2010s.” – Katya (33:23)
• “Nobody up in the chairs looked relaxed.” – Trixie, on Jewish wedding chair tradition (28:57)
• “It’s so much of nothing happening. …there’s so much stopping and starting in football.” – Trixie (47:06)
• “I don’t like making fun of things that people can’t change.” – Trixie (57:14)
• “Let them fucking live. I look like a goblin often… It’s like, people look all kinds of ways.” – Katya (58:42)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:52] – Memes, Viral Thinkpieces, and Senseless Brand Collaborations
• [04:27] – Gambling Addiction Discourse
• [05:14] – Thrifting & Drag Garment DIY
• [07:10] – Trixie’s Wedding Makeup Disaster
• [09:49] – Jewish Wedding Recap & Trixie’s Tears
• [18:20] – The Cookie Table & Intimate Weddings
• [23:57] – Classic vs. Trendy Wedding Themes
• [25:57] – Jewish Wedding Traditions (Rabbi Janet, Chair Dance)
• [29:59] – Looksmaxxing, Incel Culture & Body Pressures
• [39:35] – “28 Years Later: Bone Temple” Review
• [46:26] – Why American Football is “So Much of Nothing”
• [48:51] – Speed Drag Makeup & Beauty Hacks
• [53:36] – Cosmetic Procedures: Cryo and Botox for Drag
• [54:00] – Body Shaming Discourse and Policing Insult Comedy
• [61:36] – Reviews and Conclusion

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Episode Highlights and Tone

• Playfully irreverent, frequently veering into the absurd, yet grounded in sincere reflection.
• Raw but self-aware humor: jokes about funerals at weddings, body hair, and being dramatic at the altar contrast with genuine concern for wellbeing and kindness.
• Interaction with listeners through reading reviews and riffing on their own podcast’s foibles.

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For Listeners

This episode provides an uproarious, multi-layered trip through the wedding industrial complex, internet culture, drag beauty, and the ever-relatable search for balance between being shady and being kind. The chemistry between Trixie and Katya shines as they volley between laughter, side-eye, advice, and self-deprecation—a must-listen for fans of drag, pop culture, or anyone in search of equal parts inspiration and outrageousness.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

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[Katya Zamolodchikova]

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[Trixie Mattel]

It's the Paradise Podcast. I am your host, Ryan Michelle Bathe with my husband Sterling.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's up?

[Trixie Mattel]

Join us here on Hulu and Hulu on Disney, where we'll discuss each episode with the cast and crew of Paradise. I'll be getting all the secrets from Dan Fogelman, James Marsden, Shailene Woodley, Julianne Nicholson and Sterling Kelby Brown. Paradise, the official podcast is now streaming

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

and stream paradise on Hulu and Hulu on Disney. Hi, everybody. Our spring very bald and very beautiful dates are just about sold out, so we're putting shows up for the fall. Hello. Why don't you go ahead and get your [e-mail] Ah, the website. Do you like websites? Hi. Hello. Hi.

[Trixie Mattel]

You want to be on top of the. Have you seen this trend? That's like my photo shoot after I told Tyra my mom died in a fire. And it's like, it's like some. Okay, that's a bad example. It's like my told my told her my mom died in a construction site. It's like somebody in their garage like so crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Crazy. Yeah. My mom was butchered to death, was stabbed 17 times. So they have a teacher. Yeah, 17 knives hanging above you. It's crazy. There's a proliferation of all the think pieces which I, I can't read because I don't subscribe to the 4,000 only fans that these, you know, the Vulture and Substack. Don't say that. Don't say that. Wait. Substack has Partnered with polymarket.

[Trixie Mattel]

What's Polymarket?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, baby. Just a gambling global cryptocurrency based prediction market.

[Trixie Mattel]

What?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So like I predict so that Trixie is going to talk like she's going to say the word 17 times in the pod. I think she's going to say 20. They bet online about that. The tagline.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's weird.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, it is. It is very weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, we can't do that in the first few minutes. If we swear too much in the first few minutes, we get.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bleep it.

[Trixie Mattel]

We have to bleep it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bleep it. Just go.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, our Pam Bondi episode got blocked because I think people are like, it's fascism. But we're also not supposed to yell the F word immediately.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it's the Attorney General. It's the Attorney General who's a huge fan of ours, listening to the Bible.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, she loves us. She's 60, by the way, and she's

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

in bed with the FCC.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's 60?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What does that mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

She's 60 years old.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that good or bad?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I just love it. Wait, wait, so poly substack. So when they. The advertisement. The advertisement was because journalism works better when. Oh, my God, can you look it up? Control. So it just took substack and polymarket. And the verbiage is so like, darn,

[Trixie Mattel]

look, we are in the. We are in. We do have to be careful as a society of the senseless collabs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is exactly.

[Trixie Mattel]

Senseless collab.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not senseless.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's the Chipotle Crocs collab.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That actually makes a lot more sense because I would love to eat my Crocs sometimes. You know what I mean? But this is like, this is about journalism and gambling, right? So it's like it was something to the effect of like, because journalism thrives in a gambling market or some crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not like into gambling.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, because. No. And I encourage people to perhaps not also be into it because it's one of the most nefarious addictions that ruins lives more than sometimes more than drugs and alcohol.

[Trixie Mattel]

I have a friend who had a secret gambling addiction. We didn't know until way later. And he was like, did you know all those years we would go home for bar clothes and I would go to a casino?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We were like, no, Somebody on our family too.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was a shock, shocking, scary, crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also it can be destructive. Destructive. And especially when other people have to

[Trixie Mattel]

foot the bill, Right? There have been times in your life where I wish you would have gambled the money instead of do what you did with it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know, but shoveling into the furnace is so fun.

[Trixie Mattel]

You always joke about burying your money in a hole, but you never do

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

wish you know that. You know where my holes are?

[Trixie Mattel]

Down at Westfield Mall. Fucking breaking the bank.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know I stole those clothes. No, it's kidding.

[Trixie Mattel]

How about. What about thrifting?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What about it?

[Trixie Mattel]

Why don't you buy some used clothes? This is used.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Used by whom?

[Trixie Mattel]

Those are my brothers. He had me handed me down.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have. Yeah. I mean, I have. Well, in L. A. It's tough because thrift store is a regular store. You're going out of the jet rag in a thrifted shirt. It's about $38.

[Trixie Mattel]

Now you got to go to the Goodwill and Los Filos. The one that all the human shit outside.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Yes. But then I got to go to the human shit removal service and get it all. Whatever. I don't know. You're right. I think. Yeah. There's too much waste.

[Trixie Mattel]

Secondhand is good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Secondhand is great. Binge is good. Often it's not because I have such a challenging figure, such a big body shape.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because of your size? Yeah. You know, broad.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Broad I make. I make my own clothes in drags.

[Trixie Mattel]

But we don't ever see those clothes. This is like what I'm talking about. You see, you're like. I'm always at the studio sewing, and then you show up to Netflix in four off the rack outfits.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I sewed the hems on them. No, I have been. I have been. I've been making some.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're getting ready to do your big one.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, mo. Michi, the girl I went to love it with, she made me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, man.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She made me this bodysuit that has the boobs attached to it. And it's so beautiful. I wear it around the house.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love that. I saw your story with Michi. I believe I met her backstage.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Quite beautiful lady.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, she's amazing. She's. I think she's in China right now. She's doing a world. World tour for her. For her job.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's so gorgeous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She is so lovely. She makes all the lovely shirts.

[Trixie Mattel]

This. Oh, yeah, that's the. The pod shirts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had. Why? I don't know why I didn't bring it. Today was the fucking. The cane one. You saw that one? Yeah, but I wanted to. I wanted to talk about something that just flew out of my head.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I talk about something else? And then you can tell me to shut the fuck up. I have been really deep. I follow a lot of makeup artists on TikTok, and one of the things makeup artists be talking about a lot recently is weddings, and they're talking about how the expectations of the wedding industry are.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So you talked about that last time? I did, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, okay. Well, I'm gonna pivot to something else.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, Sorry, sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I remember, it reminded me of the time when I was doing wedding makeup. I know. Everybody get your laughs out now. I used to do wedding makeup. Everyone laugh. Thank you so much. This woman, I did her wedding trial. This was like a core memory that was so buried that when I unearthed it, I both didn't recognize it, but I know it happened. Suddenly, I was like, I remember this. Oh, my God. I did her wedding trial. She looked great. Beautiful woman. She looked great. And at the trial, the brides would pay 50%, and then I would make them pay the other 50% the day of the wedding or before the wedding. This gal, when their wedding day came, eventually, she was like, yeah, I'll pay you when you get here. I said, great. I get there. I do the whole makeup for her wedding. So it's the morning she's getting married by that she's getting married at home, or she's getting ready at home to go somewhere to get married. So I finish her makeup and her house. All the family photography is her and her kids. And the theme of the photo shoot is money. So they're sitting on big, oversized bills. They're holding money. Some of the shoots are them throwing money. Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's real classy.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I finished the makeup, and I go, you look amazing. You're gonna have a great day. Thank you for, you know, it's time to square up, whatever. And she goes, well, this is the thing. I only can pay you the half that I paid you at the trial. And I didn't say this, but what I really regret saying was, what about that money? Could you go get me some of that money?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no. He's like, okay, that's totally fine. Makeup, wipe half the face off.

[Trixie Mattel]

I would never do that. Not gonna violently assault someone with a Neutrogena wipe, but we don't have to.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Violently, gently.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I remember just thinking, like, you probably could have told me when I got here that you didn't have it. And I probably still would have done it, but waiting till the end.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. No, no. No offense. That woman is a fucking bitch and a.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not to mention you guys at the time. She's stealing from the poor to Benefit. I guess the Also poor. Like, I didn't have money like that with the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

With the crass, nasty, tasteless money pictures hanging up.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, it was just like. It was so trippy. I think I drove home in silence and blocked it out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Good. You should have drove into the church and killed everybody in the wedding party.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I thought about it this weekend too, because Sunday I drove an hour out of LA to go to a wedding.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, that's right. You looked great. Beautiful. And white is definitely your color.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thank you. Everybody said, why are you wearing a white dress and a veil? And I said, well, I'm involved. So I get there. Five, five o' clock wedding, perfect time. Get there at 4:30. The sun is setting. It's a Jewish wedding. I've never been to a Jewish wedding.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did you wear your.

[Trixie Mattel]

They have the hora, which is. No, that's not right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is it the h?

[Trixie Mattel]

There's fabric over their heads while they get married. There's the hua. Oh, the is the chair in the sky. So the wedding's beautiful. So something you need to know about me when you invite me to something is that I. I'm all in. Okay. You might drop into this. So this 120 person wedding, probably 140 people, they have parents. I'm crying more than anyone there. And I'm crying so bad that I'm getting self conscious because I'm like, you're the plus one. You're not allowed to cry when you're not involved that closely with the family.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don't even know their first names. I do know them.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm friends with them, but I was like, I peeped their parents and I'm like, they're not crying. I'm in the back row.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, I was like, that is so crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm not trying to cry. So then I'm trying to hide it. So I have my hand like this. And the tears that are coming are so. You know when the tears are so big and wet that they're juicy. They're coming. Whether you. Yes, you can. You can. They're coming.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. They're falling. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

So my boyfriend's with me and he looks at me and he sees I'm crying and he knows I have an issue with this. We're like, if it's. I'm going to cry. Just be crying. If something's remotely good. Genuinely good. I'm crying.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mind you. Mind you what? Hello. Come say hi.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I come say hi?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, you sit right here.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, hi. Hi, ladies.

[Trixie Mattel]

How y' all doing?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We were just talking about how we fantasize having sex with you and I. My fantasies have continued is. But hers have stopped.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God. I was talking about Andy on the pod. I was talking about when we were at Plastiques and Plastique and Nymphia show, and I said to him, I said, is it weird for you to see Plastique? And, like, do you think of me? And he goes, you know what's weird? It's hard for me because she's up there, but you're standing right here. How's that possible?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love that. I love him.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, thank y'.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just want to come and say hi.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, I'm very jealous. Bob has guested on the show so many times, and I've only been asked once.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's been here, like, once.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's not true, because he's been here, like, four times. Yeah. Yeah. He's been, like, four or five times.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Ever since Ginger Benj. We can't.

[Trixie Mattel]

Ash's Massacre just was like. Well, that's how you have a guest.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, she was the. She was the last guest after that. God damn. Yeah. Well, I was about to come and say hi. I didn't want to bother y' all too much at work.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is there a podcast you could promote?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. Monet talks. Make sure you listen to Monet talks. Civil rivalry. And also, it's gonna. You better have both hands free when you watch this one with Valentina, because you're gonna be jerking it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God, you guys. I don't wanna. I don't know when this comes out. She just. Can we say Valentina? Valentina was sitting in there. Oh, yeah. Waiting to go in. And I was like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I had just literally just watched one of her lip syncs, and I was like, porn, porn, porn.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love you, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bye.

[Trixie Mattel]

See you holding her around the middle. I just felt. I felt abs. Today's episode of all the Beautiful is brought to you by hims. You guys, Ed does not mean your love life is over. Ed is the monster in the closet. It's the phantom in the dark hallway. It is like dancing around you or someone you know pretty much at any point in your life. It's not something people talk about much, and so it feels very helpless.com when you're not sure what to do about it. But Ed is more common than you think, and it's simpler to treat than ever. Through hims, you can connect online with a licensed provider to access personalized treatment options discreetly and on your terms. You should not have to figure this all out yourself. HIMSS brings experts straight to you with 100% online access to personalized treatments that put your goals first. Because let's be honest, it's a little nerve wracking, but you have to think of HIMS as your digital front door that helps you get back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for ED and more all in one place. To get simple online access to personalized affordable care for ED, hair loss, weight loss and more, visit hims.com bald that's hims.com bald for your free online visit himss.com bald featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends Squarespace. That is what they call Squarespace in Italy. My friend Nick is from Italy and I told him about that and he didn't confirm it but he did laugh. So I think that maybe that's true. But let's say you are a yoga instructor and you do private instruction specifically for, let's say restorative stretching for people with arthritis. Don't ask me how I know. Let's say you want to put your business on your website. These are the ways that having Squarespace will help you. Obviously people will be able to find you, but that's where the magic only begins. So at Squarespace the design is easy, you can use templates. The design is very intelligent. You do not need much to get started. You do not have to have any background in coding or web design graphic design. It's very easy. Squarespace. You can also accept payments in a completely safe way when the onboarding is very easy and you can connect your social media accounts. So let's say most of what you do is produce content about stretching for arthritis on Instagram or TikTok. You can actually link that out to your website. I also love it because you can sell content. So like let's say you were doing a series of like video content. You can sell the videos directly from your website. I'm just telling you as a small business owner, it's very rare that having to depend on a bunch of other people is the better option. I'm telling you the best thing you can do as a small business owner is be as self sufficient as you possibly can. Head over to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com bald squarespace this episode

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

is sponsored by Green Chef. As a world traveling actress of stage and screen, I spend a lot of time scrolling through social media in limousines, planes, jets, helicopters, rickshaws, you name it. Have you noticed that every so called wellness guru online now wants you to eat like an insecure forest bright with a diet consisting of organic twigs and fresh berries picked under crescent moon by a practicing Wiccan? Me too. In one post a woman is drinking chlorophyll foam out of a crystal chalice and in another post a perfectly tanned man is dry scooping powdered elk sorrow at 4:15 in the morning for his beef tallow smoothie. And amidst this onslaught of insanity, somehow I'm supposed to believe the path to Health involves 12 supplements, a 30 mile run and a breakfast that includes five different types of oats grown at mile high elevation in the Himalayas. I'm sick of it. I'm tired of it. I hereby declare that I reject these smoothie tyrants. That's why Green Chef is such a relief. Green Chef cuts through all that weird, misleading healthy chaos and gives you real farm sourced ingredients that actually taste good. Every box has certified organic produce and responsibly sourced proteins and seafood. So you can trust every bite and skip the ultra processed filler nonsense. They've got over 40 clean customizable recipes every week with options like Mediterranean, high protein, high fiber and plant based. All designed to support healthier habits. And they do the research, meal planning and grocery shopping for you. So now wellness is low prep, low mess and doesn't require me to ferment my own cabbage in a jar buried in my backyard. Green Chef is also the most sustainable meal kit, cutting food waste by 20% versus grocery shopping and offsetting 100% of delivery emissions. So listen, you can either stick with the diet of mung beetle smoothies or be like me and use Green Chef. I love it. And frankly, you will too. Head to greenchef.com 50 Bald and use code 50 Ball to get 50% off your first month, then 20% off for two months with free shipping. That's code 50 [e-mail] 50 Bald so I'm award winning.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And my boyfriend knows that I get I. You know, for Valentine's day he wrote me a note. I cried like someone died, like stop the stairs in my house like like, it was like, too much. Toni Collette. No, not Tony Collette. Sarah Paulson.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, that's Maria Bamford.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right? So I'm crying, and then I'm laughing because I know that I shouldn't be crying this much. So then I'm laughing at the thought of it. So I'm like this. Holding tears like this in the back row. So the bride comes and everyone turns around, and because I'm in the back row, I'm in the front to her. So imagine you're at the wedding and your music is playing, and I turn around like this. Like it was so bad. So then I'm trying not to cry because it's her wedding, and I want her to have a present moment and not be like, look at everyone. Why is he crying like that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's a fag in the bag.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I get through the wedding. It was great. And I'm like, oh, God. So we go and we sit down and. And there's a cookie table.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You started crying at that.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think one of them is from Pittsburgh, I guess. And this is a Pittsburgh thing where everybody. Maybe I'm wrong. Tracy Google, you bring cookies at a wedding in Pittsburgh, and at the end, everybody brought cookies. So you take a bag, a cookie doggy bag, home of all the different cookies. What they got.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait, what?

[Trixie Mattel]

So there's a cookie table with a velvet rope because you're not supposed to take it till the end.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm not taking anybody's cookies.

[Trixie Mattel]

I walk by the groom's table and I go, I know you have a velvet rope, but if I want these cookies, nobody here will be able to get between me and these cookies. So nice try with the rope. Yeah. And then plot twist. I got so drunk, I forgot to take home cookies.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There you go.

[Trixie Mattel]

But see, is it wrong?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. It originated in Pittsburgh and Youngstown, Ohio. Pretty good.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think it's cute.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It is cute. I prefer money.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's a cookie swap of a wedding. So the wedding's beautiful. I love weddings. I love an intimate wedding. My brother got married on a Porch. There was 10 of us there. I loved it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cry.

[Trixie Mattel]

I've been to huge weddings. Cry. I love all of them. I just love, love. If we're not crying at a wed, when are we supposed to cry? I went home. Can I cry at a wedding?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, you can cry anytime you want. Just not in the car on the 101.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right? So I'm busy shaving my legs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm doing my mascara.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not going to go past.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I'm crying. Doing my mascara.

[Trixie Mattel]

Doing mascara and then crying at the same time because I want that look. So we go to sit, and then the parents dance, right? So me and the groom's mom are talking a lot because she owns an umbrella. Cockatoo. She's a big bird lady. So we're talking about birds. We're talking about birds. And all bird people talk about birds like this. They're like, oh, it's a nightmare. You have to get one. Like, it's like everybody with the bird is like, if there's anything I can do to dissuade you. But it's changed my life. And it's like my other child. I love it so much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I lived with a landlady who had a flightless bird on her shoulder at all times.

[Trixie Mattel]

The poop lady.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I know about that. I know about birds.

[Trixie Mattel]

But what's weird is when this is a side side note. Because I'm getting a bird. This is a side note. I'll get to it later.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're gonna cry about the bird?

[Trixie Mattel]

Of course. But people keep going. Did you know how long they live? I'm sorry. Do we get pets hoping they die?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I pet that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Will live as long as I live. Why don't you talk to me in 13 years when your colleagues dying And I'll be sitting with my bird, being like. And she's a preteen mind.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She hasn't gone to middle school yet.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. I don't know why people like the birds live so long. I'm like, when your dog dies, I swear to God, you will wish it was living 50 years.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No shit.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Because I was there at that. With that doggy death. A doula, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

That was awful. Napoleon. Pour one out for Napoleon. Nappy little nappy. So cute.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But that woman, I'm telling you, she.

[Trixie Mattel]

Kelly Mantle.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Kelly Mantle has a similar service. She has six or seven bottles of wine. She comes over, she takes your border collie in the headlock and chokes the life out of it while she watches it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then. And then just walks out of the house. Like that. Leaves the. Leaves all the wine bottles. And then just drags it down Santa Monica Boulevard.

[Trixie Mattel]

So then we're sitting, we're eating. The food was great. Love a wedding with good food. Then it's time for the dancing. And I cry when the son and the mom dance to that song from that Sondheim song. Nothing's gonna harm you not while I'm around not while I'm around Beautiful song for a mother and Son. Love it. And then the father and daughter dance. The bride's parents are both modern dancers. So an older man who really can dance. Whenever there's an extension, the arm is out. It was like a Fred Astaire swagger on an old. Like. I'm crying from that. Yeah, I'm crying from all of it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Damn.

[Trixie Mattel]

That was the last time I cried of the evening. But just the three times.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Just the three. Just the three.

[Trixie Mattel]

Three longer sections. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Were you wearing makeup? Did you have to re powder your nose?

[Trixie Mattel]

I put makeup on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, but that's what I mean.

[Trixie Mattel]

I cried so much I think I had white streaks down my face.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Damn.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then something I did do because I'm not flexible. But if the. But if the situation calls for it, I can like the grudge out of any situation. So I hear that. Oh, they're about to. It's about to become a cash bar.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Extreme back bend, back flip, backflip sprint spin move like velvet, velvet rope. I can get these chunky thighs over

[Trixie Mattel]

that in five minutes. It's going to be a cash bar. I'm going to need three tequila sodas.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Cash bar at a wedding?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, no, at a certain moment it turned into a cash bar cuz they're closing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who?

[Trixie Mattel]

The bar. Oh, the venue. The wedding was over at 9:30, nice and early. But right before that cash bar. I said I will get in there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh yeah, and you brought your own pail, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

I brought my own. Forget my trough. I have one of those gumball machines you put a quarter in. I put my mouth under. Splash in the mouth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know those love. Oh my.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was a great wedding. I love weddings.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What was the theme?

[Trixie Mattel]

Marriage. The theme of the wedding was marriage. I mean what's the love? Well, I did just watch this TikTok saying that we're experiencing the trend in wedding right now is classic wedding elegant. Classic, timeless. And the tiktoker was saying that we're all going to regret that because weddings are going to all look too weddingy. I think that might be crazy. I feel like a lovely plain wedding is lovely.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The thing about things is sometimes that they are a certain way and we identify those things because of those qualities.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. If there's a tux, a white dress and a white cake that is a theme.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it's a baseball game. Right, it's a baseball game. But like what?

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm okay with a wedding themed wedding also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's it. What it does is it relieves a little bit of burden for the attendees because the theme is Like Balkan baroque with orange. Like. Like what? You know what I mean? It's. It's crazy. It's not crazy, but it's like, classic. Never goes out of style. That's why they call it classic.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, I love classic.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

But the person on TikTok was saying, like, I think the response to this is, in a few years, we will

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

see more of those dances down the Runway.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, we will see, like, one of the. One of the themes that was pitched. Not a theme, but, like an aesthetic was freaky tiki. Like vintage prom in a gym. Fabric streamers. I actually really loved that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I like that. For a party. A birthday party, Halloween.

[Trixie Mattel]

You don't like it for a wedding?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I don't. I like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I want the church and the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I don't know. To me, when I go to a wedding, in my mind, I'm picturing some kind of altar. Two people, sides of a family. I want the love is blind wedding to watch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm thinking. I'm thinking, like, at least 13. 14th century Gothic architecture, Cathedral.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Latin incense service is probably around three, four hours long. We do my Catholic Catherine, of course, the Jewish wedding.

[Trixie Mattel]

Stomp on the glass.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

The woman. Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did she get on the.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is fierce. Rabbi Janet was taking no prisoners. Rabbi Janet, she.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She roasted people.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, she goes, oh, God. What was she talking about? There was a part of a prayer that's in every wedding. And she said, what these other religions don't know is they actually got that from the. From us. And everyone laughed. And she goes, is there something funny? And then she cited the passage that I guess gets used a lot.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

And she's told a story in the middle of the wedding about the time a priest gave her a tip to say, use this passage. And she said, well, guess what, honey, I'm a rabbi. I knew it. Before you knew it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I knew it. Pussy so tight. Like a nun. Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

So anyway, she was fun. A lot of acapella singing. Very good job. I was like, okay, work. I love the stepping on the glass.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yep.

[Trixie Mattel]

I guess it signifies that just like this glass can't be reassembled, I think it signifies that now that this is a union. The world. That your. Your world has changed forever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

This marriage.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know they do, like, a lot of. I know a lot of Jewish weddings in the Midwest, they just use pookies. It's really easy to crush, and they're

[Trixie Mattel]

easy to come by.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. You just put it in a sock. You don't even need the you can

[Trixie Mattel]

walk through Holly with a push broom and go home with about a dozen pookies.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mary. I went. I passed a little, like, smoke shop. I was get. Do you have gum? They have. No, just pookies.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, just pookies. And light glass and hot glass.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pookies lighter. A little thing on the libre. Little like, stand. They have to have gum.

[Trixie Mattel]

I guarantee. They also have Gatorade. Gatorade. And monster energy. Like an energy drink.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, they had a million of those. Like rocket fuel. Like going to kill you with drinks.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah. At this point, I think the straight men are cracking open like a D battery and they're just drinking that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, you know what? And this is sad. A lot of parents I know who have, like, tough schedules and stuff, they bypass the coffee. Maybe they go straight to those monsters.

[Trixie Mattel]

I've climbed down the ladder. I'm hugging the. The, like, organic black tea more.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, see, that wouldn't even register in these people's lives. I'm d. They're not drug users.

[Trixie Mattel]

People who have autoimmune disorder. We don't need to be mass consuming energy drink.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, sure. And certainly if you have any type of anxiety, the last thing you want to do is introduce more cortisol right as you're look smacking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can we please talk about that for two seconds?

[Trixie Mattel]

We can, but I have to finish the wedding talk.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm so sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, so then my other favorite part was the part where they throw the people up in the chairs. Oh, so they have the two people in the chairs. They throw up on them in a chair.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I pictured like an eject thing out of a, you know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, she never came down. She's gone. Well, they go, we need four big, strong people. And I thought, like, I'm not going to be responsible for dropping a. Or a bride or a groom or.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or lifting her so high she, you know, she hits.

[Trixie Mattel]

Flew in the air.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah. So.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then everybody holds hands and goes around in opposite circles. I. Nobody up in the chairs looked relaxed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Everyone's like, it's a.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a trust issue.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I don't think. I don't. And this isn't about, like, my body. I would be scared of people who've been drinking in slippery dress shoes holding me up on a folding chair or

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

whatever the hell girl labrada got on it. She stood on a. A chair when one of the actors. I started screaming, get down from there. Get down.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think I'm just gonna. I. I'm not Jewish, but I'm gonna Say that maybe at the Jewish wedding, we put helmets on the bride and the groom. Green Bay Packer helmets, just in case.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'll do you in better. Invisible bungee cords. They don't even need to be on.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The chair is a very light foam. It just attaches to the dress, and then she just goes up and down.

[Trixie Mattel]

Absolutely. I. I think, like, instead of the chair thing, they should do pink. We're all gonna start a fight. Rubber band, so.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also, I don't want my dad to walk me down the aisle. It's like, as soon as you hear the music. Right to the altar.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fierce Weddings, weddings.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sorry, you were just gonna talk about something. Ow. What were you gonna talk about?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I forgot. Oh, no, no, no. Look, Smacks, so this is so. I, I this so. Okay. You know, I don't want to, like, be okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Boomer, baby, I got. I. Baby, I got one step ahead of you. The other day I tweeted, before we look, Smacks, can we make sure we. Personality, bare minimum.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There you go. Hello. Thank you. Thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you know what's real? I watched a tick tock saying that you can call these men, like, a pedophile protector or like, a fascist. The worst thing to be called is a beta, because they really believe that the alpha beta thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So in. I'm not as. Obviously, I'm. I'm not. Whatever. I'm not. I'm not like, chronically online anymore. And I'm also not a fucking sociologist. But, like. And I'm not that smart. But, like, the. It's just the. It just seems so A product of just chronic online weird incel. Lack of socialization. I don't know. It's like these guys are.

[Trixie Mattel]

Talk about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Incel is. It's. It's incel. Related in a sense that, like, they're. I don't even want to, like, dignify it with their talking about their names. It's like they're so loathsome. But the idea of looks maxing to me is so stupid.

[Trixie Mattel]

But the thing is, choosing to, like, put a little concealer on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, it goes further than that, of course.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I'm saying, like, yeah, wanting to look your best.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's what it is.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is quite far from, I think, looks maxing. But it's. It's like a sign of, I think, health when someone, like, does their hair and puts on a little perfume or

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

like, you know, this is a very historic phenomenon that has existed probably since the days of the boneyard, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

The cave people are probably putting on the fancy flowers in their hair.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, even the primates are taking ticks out of the. You know what I mean? They're grooming each other. Yeah, grooming. But the. It's. It's so funny. It's like. I don't know how to describe it, but they're like breaking bones. They're doing trend. They're doing. Do you saw that the guy get his wig snatched?

[Trixie Mattel]

What's trend?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a very powerful steroid. Trend is one of the testosterone supplements that gives you all the back knee and makes you crazy. Oh, trend is like really serious.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So it's like hgh. Testosterone trend is like the. Ah. They're also taking meth to get skinnier. Well, yeah, I've heard about that guy. That is. I was like, that is.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, it does make you skinny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It also ruins your life. But like, how do you know I'm not. I've heard, I've heard, I've heard. But like, why don't you just. Anyways, that's.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're not gonna be able to inspire the masses if you keep living your dream. You're out here living your dream on a podcast. It ruins your life, by the way. Look at me. Let's take a break.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's do some ads. No, no, that was. I think it's a rumor. It's a rumor.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, they're doing it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're doing it like all.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, do you listen to.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's that pod? I think it's from Vox. They did a whole segment on it. Okay. And that's literally what they're doing. I listened to last week. So.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, interesting.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So that's another. Okay, that's a. Interesting thing. It's like where do we draw the

[Trixie Mattel]

line between healthy self care and this

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

is, I think where the. The, the term makes more sense now. Looks. Maxing, not health. Maxing, not optimizing. How do I. At what? At no matter the cost. How do I get my shell to be a certain way?

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

To attract. Whatever. Whatever. And yeah, looks, max. Maxing is just about physical appearance. Yes. And it came from male incels back in like the 2010s.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah. Because I think it comes from the alpha beta. Like you're trying to cheat genetics to be an alpha if you aren't an alpha and sort of like the self pressure of like, don't be a beta. Look like this. So you have access to this. But I don't get the sense that women like this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, they, that's the thing. It's kind of not about the women.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, it's the femme boy people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's that. No, it's they're all getting together on their little party buses with their little mess and they're fucking rubbing their dinghy's together. I mean, I just made that up, but I think that is the vibe. It's wild.

[Trixie Mattel]

Today's episode of Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Wayfair. Wow. Okay. Your home. My friend told me that your home is your sanctuary. And the more you can feel recharged and beautified at home, the more you can be better in every other area of your life. And I actually really believe that. But is it possible to have quality pieces that really upgrade your space, but still have a budget and still not have to wait months and months for something and still have easy assembly? The answer is yes. Okay. My house. We have things in my house that are vintage. I love antique. I love vintage. But some things you do just want new. And we have pieces in my house, my studio, my house in Milwaukee. We have Wayfair pieces everywhere. Because it's like my little condo in Milwaukee is like industrial loft. So it's like I wanted some new stuff for that. But then my house in LA is, you know, a little more gold and brassy and animal print. And it really, it really called for specific pieces. My dining room chairs are all Wayfair. Sit in it every day. And it was very easy. I mean, when I was doing Trixie Motel Season 2, when you're doing a TV show, you have to furnish everything on a budget in a small amount of time. And Wayfair really, really saved the day with things because I could have a lot of different options and get it very quickly. And I always want pink furniture, and so I need, like a vast selection to pick from. I also loved it because my dining room chairs were super easy. They came in a box. All I did do is put the legs on. The legs have been on for years, no end in sight. What I also love is that at Wayfair, you can do installation and assembly services, because those are available for really a seamless experience if you don't want to do anything. My makeup station at my studio that I put together in, like, 2018was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I will never put together a large piece of furniture like that ever again. Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home that's Wayfair W A Y-F A I R.com Wayfair every style

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

every Home this episode is sponsored by Rakuten. It's 8pm on a Tuesday. I'm standing in my kitchen glaring at my soapy sponge, thinking if I'm going to scrub this cursed fork, I should receive tribute or a parade. Or at the very least, a tiny velvet pouch of 17th century doubloons. Frankly, I believe everything in life should be rewarding, from buying a laptop for your dachshund to selecting a reasonably firm avocado. This firm belief is why Rakuten feels like it was designed by the strange, benevolent monarch of my inner world just for me. With Rakuten, I earn cash back and rewards on almost everything I buy, so the ordinary act of shopping for toilet paper at Target suddenly feels like a bejeweled ceremony. It's not just personal hygiene. I'm talking about fashion, beauty, travel, electronics, restaurants and groceries. Rakuten basically covers the whole magnificent marketplace of human desire. And you can shop at Instacart, Expedia, Macy's, Sephora, cvs, Alta, Adidas, Petco, ebay, Zappos, and Best Buy. It's an absurdly easy way to save money while spending money. And to answer the most important question from a recent letter from my favorite fan in Austria, Heinz Dupledorf, yes, I love stacking cash back on top of sales and coupons like a greedy little savings goblin. So you may be wondering how it works. You just sign up for free with an email shop and let the rewards accumulate like destiny. Then you can redeem those rewards however you want. PayPal, check, Bilt points, gift cards, or if you're an ineligible American Express card member, membership rewards points instead of cash back. But for that one, terms and conditions apply. So go ahead, book that trip, fill that cart, order some decadent dessert, and let your every earthly errand drip with glorious rewards. Rakuten is without a doubt the most rewarding way to shop. Join for [e-mail] or download the Rakuten app to start saving money today. I'm heading to Austin this month for south by Southwest, and while half the country is still feuding with winter coats and dodging slush puddles, I'll be packing light layers and celebrating the beginning of allergy season. It's time for that beginning of spring energy when the sun is out, the air feels optimistic, and everyone collectively decides make out in a public park. Season has begun. Austin just understands this moment, especially when you booked an incredible place on Airbnb right next to the city's best barbecue joint. I'm talking morning coffee outside while the city wakes up, walks where you don't need gloves to avoid frostbite, and plates of brisket eaten outdoors with the Texas sunshine highlighting every bit of flavor in your dry rub. I booked my stay through Airbnb, and honestly, it's doing a lot of the heavy lifting for this trip. I get space to sprawl, a real couch to decompress on after screaming lyrics with strangers, and a table where I can eat like a human instead of balancing food on a pillow in a hotel room. I can close the door when I need silence, throw open the windows when I want light, and enjoy privacy that feels like I actually live there, even if only for a few days. And if I'm traveling with friends, we can all stay together instead of coordinating lobby meetups like we're in a low budget spy thriller. And while I'm dancing my way through Austin and riding that early spring glow, I'm already plotting the next adventure. This summer, it's Lisbon. Think ocean breezes, late night dinners that turn into midnight desserts, and perhaps a moonlit stroll with a charming local who teaches me exactly one Portuguese phrase and then disappears forever. Trips just feel better when you book through Airbnb. And I already know I'll be booking again and again with Airbnb. Every journey feels like it was made just for you. But speaking of the.

[Trixie Mattel]

The bad bunny. 1 8.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, the alpha.

[Trixie Mattel]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Alpha. I saw 28 years later, the Bone Temple.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, I saw your tweet because you didn't like the previous one, did you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, I enjoyed it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I cried my eyes out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it was. It was a different vibe. It was good.

[Trixie Mattel]

This I loved was. Girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I keep.

[Trixie Mattel]

I keep driving by the billboard, being like. Well, my thought was the response to the one before was mixed, even though I loved it. So I thought I could see. How are they doing another one?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I could see that. Oh, mama, there. There's a. Two major.

[Trixie Mattel]

How would you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How would you.

[Trixie Mattel]

How would you compare. If I saw that one. What is this one?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This one is balls to the wall. It's. It's. It's so intense. And there's an Alpha zombie who is a. I remember.

[Trixie Mattel]

With the big dick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And I cried.

[Trixie Mattel]

Isn't that awful?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no. He had a big dick. You're just saying he has a big dick because I would.

[Trixie Mattel]

That zombie dick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, mama, you're gonna love this. So there's two, like, sort of different storylines going on with the ray finds is like this crazy doctor. He's covered in. It's not blood. Iodine.

[Trixie Mattel]

And the guy with all the skeletons.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Exactly. So he's got his own little, like, you know, underground bunker.

[Trixie Mattel]

He.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Alpha. He. He tames an Alpha via morphine. And I won't give. That's. I won't spoil anything else about that morphine.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love, Dion.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's in the movie, your daughter.

[Trixie Mattel]

My daughter?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. She the Alpha.

[Trixie Mattel]

Of course. Because she know. Well, she's warming up for me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. So then. But then there's. Do you think people want to Alpha zombies?

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you think that I'm like morphine?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think the resemblance is almost. I would say sisters. Not mother. Daughter. Yeah, that's what I would say.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so. But the other storyline is so harrowing. So there's this guy Jimmy, who is a psychopath.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Regular character, new character.

[Trixie Mattel]

Regular spoilers, by the way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no. It's all in the trailer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, everything's in the trailer these days.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But no, no, no, I mean, you can see that there's this blonde guy and he has a coterie of like, he's got his little cult gang and they're all called Jimmy. And the way that they gain entrance into the gang is they have to kill one of the members and they become a Jimmy. He's a psychopath. And there's a scene. I won't. Where they go to this people's house. Humans. Not. You know, they're like, protected themselves against the infected. They do this thing called. They have this thing called. He believes he is the son of Satan, Old Nick. And they're like, what should we. What was it? What. I forget the term he uses. Like, what something we should. We do for these guys. I think we should take their shirts off. And that's a metaphor.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is it skin? Are they living people and they de. Skin them?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so disgusting. It was so hard to watch.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There was so. It's so nasty.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're gonna love it. I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Girl, I didn't even watch the last saw that you said was good because I didn't know if I could take that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, that. That is. That's splatter. I feel like that's splatter gore. You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

But I'm watching Real Housewives of Orange county, so how do I pivot to that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, easy. It's just as vicious.

[Trixie Mattel]

Maddie from Maddie has Me. I said, well, you know, I finished New York. New York was incredible from the beginning. Finished New York now. What she said, well, you're gonna have to watch Real Housewives of Orange County. The first three seasons are. It's not the Housewives you know and love. It's not like hot rich bitches screaming at each other.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like dumpy Republican women's.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like gated community people and their families. It's really. It hasn't turned into the Housewives yet. Vicki Gunderson, like, they haven't realized what it is. They are. They think it's about children or, like. And also, it's weird because old TV like that, when someone has plastic surgery and is open about it, it's, like, so crazy. Yeah, Yeah. I had my boobs done. Crazy. Now it's like, whose boobs aren't done?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you. Go visit the Bone Temple.

[Trixie Mattel]

Go to the bone temple.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I'm serious.

[Trixie Mattel]

The boob temple.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The boob temple. It's. It's. It's. It's cool.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'll go watch it. I will.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it's.

[Trixie Mattel]

I probably won't go to the movies.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's streaming. Oh, you gotta buy it, though.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's fine.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, movies.

[Trixie Mattel]

I will say movies at home when you want to see them. $38, Mary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How about this? I wanted. I was like, you want to rent it 20 bucks. You want to buy it 25. I accidentally. I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Why are they doing that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because they're trying to antagonize me.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're trying to piss me off.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I'm not pissed off. I'm pissed off that I chose to rent it by accident for $5 more. I could have just given it to you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, that would have been nice. I don't think you can do that, though.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I can give you my computer. You can plug it into your giant tv.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, like, I want your computer history in my house.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no. I'll be. I'll be using.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'll be at the switchboard making me watch some certain things.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'll be. I'll be.

[Trixie Mattel]

Watch ball. Our show is free.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it's not. All these ads, right? No, I'm serious. Watch that.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then when we launched the Patreon, we will be doing a shot for shot remake of the Bone Temple.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Oh, the charity, he calls them.

[Trixie Mattel]

We should.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I was like, charity. That's interesting, Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

For a while, we were calling you the Lovely Bones in drag. I think we got to pivot to the bone temple.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, the. The. The.

[Trixie Mattel]

The boner temple.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The bone. The Bone. The Bone Temple. Grandin, did you. Wait, so you saw 28. Was it 20 weeks later?

[Trixie Mattel]

It was 28 years later. That's what came out about a year and a half ago.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And Spike was in that, the little boy Spike? Yes, he's in this one too.

[Trixie Mattel]

And his mom is sick.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Jody, that was very hard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was so, so tough. So he's in this, he gets recruited by the Jimmies.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it's just.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah. It ends with that. It ends with him getting approached by the blonde guy. It ends with him being, like, assaulted by some guys. It's like a cliffhanger.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my gosh. I didn't, I didn't remember that. It's so, it's really good. It's really good.

[Trixie Mattel]

What is the speed they're going down the street here. Do you hear that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, it's nothing compared to what they do outside my house.

[Trixie Mattel]

Crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Except they have no mufflers and they are screaming. They have boomboxes in their cars they

[Trixie Mattel]

put up across from my house. They put up like one of those, you know, L. A is obsessed with those modern duplexes that are built in 13 minutes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you. Is it that? It's, it the, the four story flophouse.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's two. Oh, it's three. But it's cut down the middle. So it's two townhouses. Whatever. That's a trigger word for you. I know, I'm very. But it's straight people. And I came home from that super bowl party and straight people at a Super bowl, like on the patio at a Super bowl function, like people in their 20s. Now LA is back. No, it isn't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm, I, I, I've been told many times that I'm a hater. I'm trying not to be. I'm trying to be less of a hater. I know I am.

[Trixie Mattel]

You hate joy. You hate queer joy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no. I, I, I like queer joy. Straight what? Flip football. I can get into a lot of sports I can appreciate. Like tennis, for example. I could get obsessed with tennis really easily. It's one of the most incredible, difficult sports ever. Even golf, I could sort of, I can appreciate the precision. And you know, basketball, Amazing. Hockey. Whoa. You know, the list goes on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Football, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so much American football.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's so much of nothing happening. It's literally like when they see all. Hut, hut, hike. The play goes for four seconds and most of the time they don't catch the ball.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. And the most exciting thing about it is seeing the veins bulge on the necks of the coaches and the managers on the sidelines, screaming into those headsets like their wives are getting tortured at home.

[Trixie Mattel]

There are so many incomplete passes, so many fumbles. I watch it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

First down.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are you guys that good? I don't want to be a hater. I'm like, this sport should move more. And basketball, they're not constantly stopping, Mama.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What happens in soccer or a football, right? They are never not moving. Those whores are in such incredible shape.

[Trixie Mattel]

It would be like if it was tennis. It was like half, like, net shots. There's so much stopping and starting in football. It's like, how many minutes are left in the quarter? Two. Oh, so we'll be here for four hours.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

First down.

[Trixie Mattel]

First down.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What? Exactly.

[Trixie Mattel]

First. Why don't you just score it? Is it seven points if you get a touchdown and then one extra if you kick a field goal? Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I think it's 33 if you do. I have no idea. And it's.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's corny, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's corny. I. Baseball, thrilling. It's. It's like, it's. And it's like a. Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love baseball.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like a great American thing. American football, to me, is just so stupid.

[Trixie Mattel]

Although baseball players are hot.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. They get some. Well, sometimes they're not, which is also fun. Like, I like a. I like the outfit.

[Trixie Mattel]

They have big arms, could be throwing balls and.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And I kind of like when they have a little bit of like a dad bod thing going on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Sometimes the athletes grow their hair long. It's like a fun thing with the team. And then so then everyone looks worse, which is kind of fun. Everyone grows, like, beards and long hair and then you. Actually, I'm not a super fan. I know that they're not the same people sometimes, but they all have long hair and beards. And I'm like, who is anybody?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mm. Hillary Clinton. Do you remember when Hillary Clinton grew her hair very long? No. It was weird. Oh, oh, oh. So the gig. I had to do this gig.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So the next day, 5:00am, like, we leave. Fina picks me up at 5:00am getting the Uber at 5:00am we go. Which.

[Trixie Mattel]

Which she's been up for hours.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fina.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. She's been just like a 4am I know. She meditates.

[Trixie Mattel]

3am she meditates the gym by 7. She's crazy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Get in. That Uber is like death. And then fall asleep on the plane. We go to D.C. non stop. So we have. We arrive. I have to be at the venue, on stage at 6. We can't. Have to get ready. Yeah, I have to get ready at the hotel. The American University of something.

[Trixie Mattel]

University of Phoenix. Yes, Trump University.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It felt very, very like for profit. No, it was, it was. So anyways, we get to the hotel at 4:40.

[Trixie Mattel]

I heard about the meet and greet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh yeah. Oh, the meet and greet was rotten. But. But the point is I. I beat my face in like 35 minutes and it looked amazing.

[Trixie Mattel]

I bet girl talked about it before. Put down the brush and move on with your life.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You were in my head the entire time. You can do it. You can do it. It's.

[Trixie Mattel]

Your makeup is, is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not, it's not, it's. It's not like we're not doing Chuck close. I mean it's not like intricate.

[Trixie Mattel]

Just do like a black eye.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, she was like. She's like on the. She was really worried for me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, but she was worried on the, on the car right there. She's like, just remember red mouth, black circle. You can do it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Honestly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I did, I did more than that. I did like a whole thing and I was. As long as you picture.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wouldn't have known.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right. It wasn't like. It was good. It wasn't amazing but like I wasn't bad.

[Trixie Mattel]

Foundation looked a little flatter than usual.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Cuz she usually does the, the whole. And I didn't have enough time. Also I tipped. I dropped the powder thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Your foundation looked more one color than it normally does. Normally you have more highlight contour.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Y. Cuz she's been doing more.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

She.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, we do that thing from. I think it's from you. The, the. The yellow, the brown.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, the, the. The bronzer sticks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But yeah, it's easy too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh and it's creamy. Love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

But if you don't. Yeah, I saw the picture. Your eyes look like your normal eyes. You had less on the bottom maybe. Yeah, I like you with a lot of horror color on the bottom.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what the problem is though? My age and the tissue crepe skin

[Trixie Mattel]

under my eyes collects the shadow.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. And also just anything is accentuated all the. It doesn't wear that well.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you, do you. Have you ever used liquid or cream instead of powder under there?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

You have liquid or cream like shadow so that it's not powder because powder will move. But what about like a liquid or cream like black or brown to smoke out the bottom and then you have to worry about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Does it actually blend out well?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, you could use the black play pigment from Trixie black liquid. And then there's no fallout because it's not powder.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Interesting.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't experience that because my under eye is here. Gotcha. But I would assume if it's closer to your eye, this is, like, the finest.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, it's a heart.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's horrible also.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Would you do, like, a talk back?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I did. It was just a moderated Q A. So I. So naturally, of course, I made them do the Pledge of. Not the Pledge of Allegiance. We stood for the national anthem at the end.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you sing?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I sure. I sure did. And then.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it was fun. It was. It was fun and easy. And I was like, I can't believe I got. I can't believe I got ready that quick. But I wasn't stressed out because you just do it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's kind of like when you have that timing with drag can be tough because, like, if you have, like, too much time, it can get a little weird sometimes. Then you're late. Do you know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, I try to now. Like, I don't want anything about the day. I have to be in drag to be that. Like, just yesterday, I took a wig home, and I, before dinner, sat and styled my updo topper for my DJ gig this Friday. Because I said, Friday, I don't want to go to the studio early to style this hair. I want to show up knowing some part of it's done.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because, well, luckily, if you just want to economize the time you're getting ready, you just got to cut corners. You can't do everything you've ever wanted to do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. But the funny thing is, though, so I had a high neck because of my problem areas. Also, I didn't have to shave all this, which is great. But when I get in that shower, I'm ready to hit it. I'm ready to hit the ground running with that razor. The water pressure was like three adult men peeing on me. I was like, you gotta be kidding me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Veterans.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It was like. I was like, veterans with prostitis.

[Trixie Mattel]

Prostatitis.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was like, this is my rush. This is the shower I have to rush. This is gonna take about 45 years. It was so. It was like, comically.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was Mitch McConnell's peace dream.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When is he gonna kick the bucket, girl? When?

[Trixie Mattel]

Girl, it's gonna be so funny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. I mean, I don't wish anybody died.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm gonna be like. Thought he was like, you know, What? I mean, like, yeah, what's the difference, man?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He's been there. Have to be. We cannot.

[Trixie Mattel]

But evil can sustain you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

People who die, it's never who you want.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know what it is about the universe. It's never who you want. I wish that when it was time for someone to die, death would go like, hi, Trixie. And I go. I got a list. I go in here at this other room, my whiteboard. It looks like a book all worked out for you. So top Pam bump, right? And then we're going down. You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And if you take Bad Bunny before I say, you can't take Bad Bunny. You take him to my house, you take him to my hotel room and make him do sex to me, right? I love him.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The. The. The other thing was,

[Trixie Mattel]

this is America and the halftime show should be on English. So you don'.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Speak English here. I know, I know. Like, there's like 40 billion Spanish Megan Kelly. Shut the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Megan Kelly can suck it. I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She could.

[Trixie Mattel]

She can truly suck.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She can suck it. Not any dick. She can just suck like a big frozen turd that they get in those weird German nightclubs.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nasty wet rat.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's violent. Violent, violent person. Horrible hater.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I hate her.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I hate her. And I don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

Weird, weird commitment to the bit of being a liar.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I think what I mean, my only one of my guesses would just be that people know in this horrible day and age that vitriol is profitable.

[Trixie Mattel]

Girl. She's in. She. She's assembling nuclear warheads with Nicki Minaj and Mar a Lago. Yeah, that's what she's up to.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

God, if they. If Nicki Minaj gets on one of those subs that they have, you know, with all those Satan 2 nuclear warheads. Wait a minute.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wish I could have handpicked the people on the Titanic thing that exploded imploded submersible. I wish I would have been able to hand pick. I would have done it like a. Like a pyramid. Like dance moms.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God.

[Trixie Mattel]

Revealing who's gonna be on it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you'd be like, you guys, this is going to be the most unforgettable. It was like the opposite of the trip to space. Yeah, the. I saw they have. What do you call it? De gassified her. Ms. Menard.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Which I. She just has flat hair and she looks like. It was just like interesting.

[Trixie Mattel]

Fierce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Interesting.

[Trixie Mattel]

Come with me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I don't want to I don't want to belittle people for their weight or whatever, but there was this funny. This guy I followed on Twitter.

[Trixie Mattel]

Big off.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When she was walking into the. The thing. It was. The ground was shaking.

[Trixie Mattel]

And oh, my God, I saw a picture of her with Trump and she was in that big coat and it said, they're having a big off.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That. That was. Yeah, I think it was probably the same guy. And it was like. It was just. Yeah. I mean, you know, I think if you're like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think it's like, I'm not into body shaming. Unless it's somebody doing evil, you better come for that bald head.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. It's still a cheap shot. Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, I feel. Shoot me in the eye. I don't like talking about people's. You would never catch me saying mean to someone about how they look.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't roll the tapes. That's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, but. So I think they have plenty of.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't like this happens on the Housewives a lot. I don't. I don't like when they say someone has a little dick as a bad thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I think what it means. Because I googled it. I think what they're meaning is this person exhibits behavior of someone who is insecure about having a little dick. When you say someone's little dick, you're talking about their behavior, the way they act.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. So that's an. That's an imprecise insight.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I don't like making fun of

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

things that people can't change.

[Trixie Mattel]

People's bodies that we think should be bigger or smaller. And I feel like it's up. I kind of feel like it's up there with being bald or people are like. People online are like. And your hairline. Not to me. I don't care if I'm bald. But it's weird to like my unit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm all about slam dunking on men. But I kind of think like. And your hairline.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like, okay, I. I have a mirror. I know what's going. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just. And maybe there's no answer to this. No. But the way we. I love when people are coming for people they don't like. Let's say you. You hate this Young Republican character, their

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

actions, the things that they stand for and that they promote it.

[Trixie Mattel]

We're all very loosey goosey about saying men have a small dick or they're bald. And I just feel like that's also making fun of someone's physical.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it also doesn't matter. Like, And I, I feel, I, I regret when I say like, you know, that fat bitch. I mean, I think if you roll the tapes, I, I do appear incredibly fat phobic. And I swear to God I'm not. But I. Why I was at the supermarket and this woman walked by, or no, is at the mall and she had some very interesting surgery done to her face.

[Trixie Mattel]

Interesting in what way?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would probably like it was aftermarket light switch, nose. It was extreme. It was extreme, extreme, extreme. And, and I, and I looked and I, and I. My immediate reaction was, what a free. And I was like, oh, I stopped myself. I was like, you know what? There's so many people in this world, they look the way they do.

[Trixie Mattel]

Let them live.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let them fucking live. I look like a goblin. Often. I often can get confused for Gollum from Lord of the Rings. It's like I. People look all.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, I either want surgery. I can't believe I can't even tell.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or I want Riley from House of Avalon.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Or who knows?

[Trixie Mattel]

I want the dolls.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

The goddesses.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or I want like Restylane. I would have never known, you know, like, I want that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But also, we don't know anything. I didn't know anything about this woman. We, I don't know, you know, and I, and my mind goes to like the bullying for like congenital herpes defects.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not joking.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah. Like defects.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought you said genital.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Congenital.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, congenital herpes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, that's the thing. Look it up. But like, I don't know, I just, I like when I watch a movie where a person gets bullied for being overweight like, especially a girl in high school, it like takes a knife into my chest. Like, I almost can't watch it. It's so tough to watch. And like, just bullying in general.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, I have a hard time with that. I think you and I, when we're being huge bitches, it's not unwarranted.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm not a great person, but I try not to be any. Like a shitty one.

[Trixie Mattel]

No. Sometimes when I listen to the pod, I'm like, oh, I was a little mean to that person, whoever, whatever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But like someone like Pim Bondi, we

[Trixie Mattel]

speak unscripted, full time for 10 plus years. It's really impossible to stand by everything we've ever said.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Exactly. That is a really good point. And people, it's not, it's not to excuse bad behavior, but because I, I try to evolve intellectually when I listen

[Trixie Mattel]

to this show sometimes. I'm like, oh, I said that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, well, yeah, but I mean, does

[Trixie Mattel]

your hat say thanks a lot, bitch?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, but like, you know, I don't know. It's. Some people in this world are actually doing evil, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

And it's Monet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's Bob and it's Monet.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I don't want to.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's fierce love drag. You know what I mean? I love drag. I'm in an era right now where I love drag.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Once they get.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not always.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But right now, because I'm not overworked, I'm just like, oh, my God, I love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. I can't wait to wear some gowns.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's so easy to do drag when you haven't done it in a while and you're just feeling it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Girl, when I love feeling.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love feeling it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love to feel it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. As long as I got a good front facing shot and no profile, I'm good. Yeah. Oh, that was the other last thing about labrada. The camera. Live camera, often from below. Mama, that. That looks incredible. From every angle.

[Trixie Mattel]

Good for her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

From below.

[Trixie Mattel]

She got it figured out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Every angle, profile, every angle.

[Trixie Mattel]

Beautiful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's some more reviews on your side tables.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. I have to read more. Thing I wanted to bring up. I was gonna say, I guess we just let it go. No, no, no, no.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don't let it go.

[Trixie Mattel]

I had a new injector.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You doing it right now?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, just kidding. My old guy, Ross, he retired from that location, so I haven't gotten Botox in so long. But music festivals are coming and it's more for the sweat. So if I get Botox that works.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you do a different type of Botox injection for the sweat?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I get all the way up here into my scalp so that my wig glue don't get sweaty.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wait a minute, baby.

[Trixie Mattel]

You think it's a lie?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, no, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

What's wrong?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've got something for you.

[Trixie Mattel]

The pills, the glycopyrin. I'm not taking the pills.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Why not? Why not music festivals?

[Trixie Mattel]

I need to sweat for health.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're the one who told me that. It should only be for on camera gigs where you're not sweating.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No event specific hyperhidrosis. You don't take them every day.

[Trixie Mattel]

You don't think if it's 100 degrees at Bonnaroo I should be sweating a little? You.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You will not. If I overheat, what are you going to do, have a heart attack?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you wouldn't have a heart attack.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Oh, really?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

From overheating?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. So I go to this new injector, and I always feel dumb saying this. I say. Because they always are telling me about other things I could do. And I was like, I just want the Botox for the makeup and that. And I said, I like to look really natural and really male, so I don't want anything softened or blown out or out of drag. Like, out of drag. That's not important to you, you know? So I get all the needles. Hurts like a. Doesn't matter what they do. Doesn't matter what they do. It always hurts. Yes. That always hurts. I'm. I'm like, drop dead gorgeous. I'm like, ow. But they have a sale of dull needles at Kmart. I'm like. I'm. You know, and they. They have, like, a. Give me a stress ball. That's my hand. There's a needle in my face. They give you a stress ball, so it hurts like a. And I'm just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They did that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't do it. Don't do nothing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

So then they go, talking about my arthritis, and they go, have you done cryo? And I go, well, I used to do cry out this location when I was, like, 25, but I quit because it's awful. And they said, why don't you try it again today on the house? So just see if you like it. See if it helps.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I forgot how bad it is.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, it's three and a half minutes in, like, negative whatever. 100 degrees.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I believe in the science that it can shock your system into, like, a survival mode, like a reboot. It's so unpleasant. It's so unpleasant. I was in there jumping. I'm thrashing. So I'm in there jumping. My eyes are rolled back. I'm.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A cold plunge. Isn't that.

[Trixie Mattel]

I get out after two minutes and I go. She goes, how was it? I said, I remember why I don't do it anymore. It sucks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I believe that it helps you. I bought a cold plunge. It's at my house. I got in it twice.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

For how long?

[Trixie Mattel]

Never again. Oh, yeah, about 10 seconds.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Get it to about at least 20 minutes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Awful. 20 minutes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

In an ice bath. What are you not. I can't do that. Brendan Frazier, Encino Man. Sweetie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When they. When they numbed these little guys. Numbed. Put ice on them to numb them. I was like, girl, what the are you doing?

[Trixie Mattel]

Just informative.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Just zap them.

[Trixie Mattel]

Performative.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That hurt more than the zapping.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, numb them so you can't feel. What are you talking about? You just iced me.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like alcoholing the skin before you shoot me up with a dirty needle. Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what are we doing here? Also, it's not numb. It's freezing cold and it hurts.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like wiping back to front. Myth I put the shit in my pussy. And on that note, I think we have some reviews.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's have 20 minutes of ads.

[Trixie Mattel]

We have reviews. My go to happy place is from Val Torre. A better way to spend my time than doom scrolling. True. Fierce, funny and entertaining conversations with each other. And love the occasional guest and guest house. Honestly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

True.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, we doom scroll so you don't have to. We'll keep you updated.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't want to doom scroll.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you do. I don't want to.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This one.

[Trixie Mattel]

What you want to do is not necessarily what you're going to do.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you. Conscious says bloop. Oh, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

Boop.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sorry. Just boop. Just boop.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's. That's the whole review?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Look.

[Trixie Mattel]

Boop.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wordsmith Shakespeare.

[Trixie Mattel]

Best podcast from Tingle Greeny Frog. Love listening to Trixie and Katya on my way to work. Getting ready.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or whenever you could have chili or chili with noodles.

[Trixie Mattel]

Too wholesome. This feels like it was written by a bot.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's writing them all.

[Trixie Mattel]

Tracy's writing them all.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Vacuum. As a person, who is the court. As a person, who is the cord of the Mila? It really does make the difference. Now my vacuum opinions have shifted somewhat and we don't get into that in the next episode.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can we talk about Mile next time?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. Top of the episode, we're going in. Because I'm thinking of getting a second one.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. And so. Okay. Not before you consult with me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. We'll talk.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. And then, last but not least, it's 2025. So happy I can binge for days. I love it. Oh, the pod.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, no. I thought that was Stay happy topless.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bye. The UPS store is making packing and shipping Easter gifts quicker than ever this

[Trixie Mattel]

year with UPS Air. How quick?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Quicker than a walk around the park. Quicker than eating all the Easter candies. Quicker than finding a golden egg that you know is stuffed with cash. When you ship UPS Air at the UPS Store, your items arrive on time or your money back, guaranteed at no extra cost. Exclusively at the UPS Store. US retail locations. Send Easter Joy on time at the UPS Store. Visit the upsstore.com air guarantee for full details. Terms and conditions apply.

[Trixie Mattel]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. I don't know if you knew this, but anyone can get the same Premium

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wireless for $15 a month plan that I've been enjoying.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not just for celebrities. So do like I did and have one of your assistant's assistants switch you to Mint Mobile today. I'm told it's super easy to [e-mail]

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees, extra fee, full [e-mail] the global gaming League is presented by Atlas Earth, the Fun CA cashback app. Hey, it's Howe Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my How We Do It Gaming team take on Gilly the King and Wallow $267 million gaming in an epic Global Gaming League video game showdown plus a halftime performance by multiplatinum artist Travy McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match right [e-mail] that's globalgamingleague.com in partnership with Level Up Expo.