The Cream Nation Sensation! with Trixie and Katya

Summary

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The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Episode: The Cream Nation Sensation!
Release Date: December 2, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Trixie and Katya return as your favorite delirious drag divas to share a raucous chat about death rituals, pet obsessions, horror movies, and everything from the best (and worst) TV shows to themes of modern fame. They riff on morbid topics with signature irreverence, recount Hawaiian vacations, and hilariously brainstorm absurd romance novel premises. Expect razor-sharp wit and constant tangents — all through the lens of life in Tinseltown.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Death, Burial Rituals, and the Cemetery Industrial Complex

[01:31–05:22]

• The duo launches into a conversation about the peculiarities of funeral customs and burial traditions.
• Katya questions why we bury people in clothes, shoes, or expensive coffins:

  "Why are we burying people in shoes? Waste of resources." – Katya [02:18]

• Mary (Katya) suggests practical post-mortem options:
  • Donate your body to science ("They're going to get a lot of boners, but that's not my problem." – Mary [03:09])
  • Cremation, with Trixie making a pun about "rubbing cream."
• Both riff on how cemetery extravagance doesn't ease grief:

  "Does that make my grief...as the daughter of this man, does that soften my grief?" – Mary [04:54]

• The consensus: keep things practical, avoid the "cemetery industrial complex," and remember you can visit loved ones in your "mind palace."

2. “Cream Nation” and Pet Parent Escalation

[05:23–07:36]

• They coin the phrase "Cream Nation," using it as a term of endearment for their fans.
• The hosts discuss the culture of treating dogs as children, joke about rescue dog one-upmanship, and debate the idea of buying versus rescuing pets:

  "Sober people get sober and then it's all they talk about. I would rescue and the way every conversation would get shoehorned into rescuing." – Katya [05:59]

• Dream dog breeds are discussed — from Mastiffs to purse-sized puffballs.

3. Horror Obsessions: “Speak No Evil” & “Welcome to Derry”

[08:10–18:02]

• Katya and Mary deep-dive into horror recommendations and Stephen King adaptations.
• Review of horror film remakes and originals:
  • The "Speak No Evil" Danish original vs. the James McAvoy remake — both found deeply unsettling.

    "You're about to get pelted with rocks naked until you're dead, bitch. Right? Fuck the bunny." – Mary [11:32]

  • “Welcome to Derry” series discussion:

    "The velocity and the bravery to kill children is something only Stephen King really does." – Katya [12:29]

  • Comparisons between Bill Skarsgård’s and Tim Curry’s take on Pennywise.

    "I love how faggoty and fun Tim Curry is. And I think he's also scary, he's like a Freddy Krueger." – Mary [15:44]

• Links between horror, grief, and the psychological effect on audiences.
• Reflections on Pennywise as a cultural icon and the recurring motif of trauma in Stephen King universes.

4. Pop Culture Rants: Drag Race, “All’s Fair,” and Hate-Watching

[18:15–22:24]

• The hosts compare the love/hate relationship fans have with cherished franchises — Drag Race and Stephen King adaptations.

  "People who love Drag Race do nothing but hate on Drag Race. And people who love Stephen King will watch every iteration but have problems with all of it." – Katya [19:43]

• Heated yet hilarious critique of Ryan Murphy’s “All’s Fair,” notably calling out Sarah Paulson’s over-the-top insults and Kim Kardashian’s acting, labeling the series as “a train accident with huge plumes of smoke.”

  “Every word out of her mouth is a...filthy insult...And then Kim Kardashian is there. She looks exquisite...and then you hear the words and the delivery and the dialogue, and you’re like, wow.” – Mary [21:04]

5. Audible Romance Game: Wild Tropes and Hilarious Premises

[30:14–41:00]

• The duo invents absurd Audible-style romance novel plots, joyfully riffing on over-the-top scenarios like:
  • Secret twins, vampires seeing therapists, haunted Pilates studios, and romance between a mayor and their deputy.
  • Mermaid and marine biologist, alien abductee tax fraud, and “sexy” small-town scenarios.
• Katya and Mary’s recurring joke: “Is there keto after death?” – Mary [32:26]
• Endless improv on absurd romance character names: Tempestina Delust, Bunny Lafleur, Duke Thunderclap, Portia Quiverbottom, etc.
• Their inability to take romance novels seriously is itself a running gag:

  "There's a reason you and I aren't writing romance novels. We don't have the great ideas Audible does." – Katya [39:33]

6. Hawaii Vacation Stories

[47:33–50:59]

• Recollections of their Hawaii trip, with detailed commentary on hotel breakfasts, warm ocean water, and the endless appearance of sand in unmentionable places.

  "I had to go get the two room key cards and create a shovel...like a sandcastle that came from my perineum." – Katya [49:29]

• Playful self-deprecating humor about body hair and waxing.

7. Celebrity Encounters & Fame in the Digital Era

[54:06–57:12]

• Riffing on the fleeting nature of modern fame:

  "The most common level of fame nowadays is that they either don't know you, or they're know what you've had for lunch." – Mary [54:43]

• Anecdotes about surprise recognition based on Instagram followings, including Mary's run-in with would-be pickpockets who back off after learning she's (internet) famous.

8. YouTube & The Creator Economy

[57:14–62:29]

• Trixie and Nick attend a YouTube creators’ event, feeling dwarfed by massive brand channels with teams of hundreds.
• Humorous contrast between their two-person team and industry giants, leading them to present their “org chart” as just two names on a sheet of paper.

  "So Nick and I have one piece of paper, and we write his name and my name. We're like, this is it." – Katya [59:51]

• Reflect on the tension of relatability vs. visible success as their brand grows.

9. Swatting and the Dangers of Online Celebrity

[62:46–63:48]

• Stark tale of streamers being 'swatted' (having police called to their house as a prank) and the invasive nature of livestreaming.

  "People who, like, love big streamers, AKA hate them...will call the FBI or whatever and say that there's going to be a horrible bombing crime at that address...FBI SWAT team break into their fucking house. Isn't that crazy?" – Katya [62:53]

10. Final Notes:

• They end with anecdotes about wild fanbases in Brazil and reminisce about needing bodyguards overseas.
• Conversation always cycles back to humor and friendship, no matter how dark or ridiculous the subject matter.
• Mary's last word on fame:

  "Come to Brazil, baby." – Mary [63:32]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On funeral waste:

  "If you really loved your father, you'd go for the mahogany. You know, like that's crazy, right? It's upselling coffins. Mary, that is diabolical." – Katya [02:53]

• On grave visits:

  "In my experience, visiting someone's grave makes me feel worse." – Katya [05:12]

• On Tim Curry’s Pennywise:

  "He played it like a dirty old man...like, hey, fat boy." – Mary [16:10]

• On being a pet parent:

  "My child is in my hot car." – Mary [05:42]

• On streamer danger:

  "Do you know about streamers getting swatted?" – Katya [62:46]

• On their YouTube 'org chart’:

  "Nick and I have one piece of paper, and we write his name and my name. We're like, this is it." – Katya [59:51]

• On Hawaii sand:

  "I had to go get the two room key cards and create a shovel and like, like a sandcastle that came from my perineum." – Katya [49:29]

• On fame:

  "The most common level of fame nowadays is that they either don't know you, or they know what you've had for lunch." – Mary [54:43]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Death & Burial Nuances: 01:31–05:22
• Pet Parental Insanity & Cream Nation: 05:23–07:36
• Horror Movie Deep Dive: 08:10–18:02
• Culture Critique: Drag Race & All's Fair: 18:15–22:24
• Absurd Audible Romance Improv: 30:14–41:00
• Hawaii Vacation Debrief: 47:33–50:59
• Modern Fame & Digital Life: 54:06–57:12
• YouTube Creator Reality Check: 57:14–62:29
• Streamer Dangers (Swatting): 62:46–63:48

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Tone & Style

The episode bursts with the hosts’ signature blend of deadpan and camp, mixing dark topics with outrageous joke-writing and relentless pop culture acumen. Listeners can expect moments of vulnerability wrapped in irreverent banter — never shying away from the macabre or the mundane.

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Useful for New Listeners:
Miss this episode? Catch up on everything: from probing questions about societal norms to the cathartic chaos of queer podcasting, Trixie and Katya dish up hilarity, "Cream Nation" pride, and razor-sharp pop culture hot takes, all while making you wish you too could shovel Hawaii's sand from your perineum.

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Transcript

[Host]

This episode is brought to you by Netflix. Global superstar and comedy sensation Kevin Hart returns for his fifth Netflix special. Acting My Age.

[Mary]

I'm not the same man that I used to be. I go down the stairs sideways.

[Katie]

Go ahead.

[Mary]

You in a rush.

[Nick]

Go around.

[Host]

With a fresh perspective on life, family and getting older.

[Mary]

Older you get, the less you can have. Is this sesame seeds on that bun? Get it outta here.

[Host]

Kevin's bringing his signature high energy humor and physical comedy in a true return to his stand up origins. Watch Kevin Hart Acting My Age now streaming only on Netflix. This episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of making something timeless while being a part of legendary nights. From backyard jams to sold out arenas, there's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org, jack Daniels and Old no. 7 are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee.

[Sponsor Voice]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast. Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move. Having State Farm help you create a competitive price when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with a personal price plan like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Nick]

Foreign.

[Mary]

Why would anyone want to steal a dead naked body?

[Katie]

I. Can I say something?

[Mary]

I think he's a great icebreaker.

[Katie]

I'm not promoting grave robbing. I know this is right off the top of the episode, but I'm saying, can I tell you something? This is some real country. I've been thinking a lot about death lately. Right.

[Mary]

Me too.

[Katie]

Me too. Been having waves of unwellness that make me constantly think about death.

[Mary]

Okay. Jesus Christ.

[Katie]

And I remember my stepdad's funeral. Right on top of the confusion of being young and having a. A patern, a paternal figure die. Yeah, right. Country people. We're dealing with. Dealing with a burial. And we're so country. Not all. All of us have a full dress outfit.

[Mary]

You got to shuffle it yourself.

[Katie]

No, the day of the funeral, my mom said, we need your dress shoes, your stepdad's body. And I remember standing at the coffin and thinking, why are we burying people in shoes? Waste of resources. Like. And then it would go, why are we burying people? Why are we burying them in clothes?

[Nick]

Why are we.

[Mary]

Why are we burying pharaohs in gold? And jewels.

[Katie]

Why? I just think with the burying is a. It's sort of a. The blue light turning on at Kmart or whatever. It's a little salesy.

[Mary]

It's boo boo.

[Katie]

We should just get the most.

[Mary]

Do it.

[Katie]

The most. What do you call it? Smallest effect on the footprint. Carbon footprint. Small. And most affordable to the people. Right.

[Mary]

I got.

[Katie]

Truly, if you really loved your father, you'd go for the mahogany. You know, like, that's crazy, right?

[Mary]

It's upselling coffins. Mary, that is diabolical. I have three solutions to this quandary.

[Katie]

What is it?

[Mary]

Number one. Slingshot into space.

[Katie]

I knew you were going to say shoot. But that's. But we talked about.

[Mary]

No, no, no, no, no. Carbon footprint, that's the biggest one. Okay, so number one is really donate to science cadavers for medical students. That's what I plan on doing. They're going to get a lot of boners, but that's not my problem.

[Katie]

They're going to leave with more questions than they got answers. How did she live this long?

[Mary]

So there's all black liquid inside and no organs. What's that?

[Katie]

It's a Diet Coke can. What is that?

[Mary]

Are the lungs made wire? And then the. The last one is just cremation.

[Katie]

Right, but then you gotta rub cream all over someone.

[Mary]

Cremation.

[Katie]

I don't mean to be too morbid. It really made me think.

[Mary]

Very funny.

[Katie]

Unless your mom loved those earrings. But even then, keep them. Keep them. And then you have your mom's earrings.

[Nick]

Yes.

[Katie]

Don't put your shoes on. Your dad very naked, if anything.

[Mary]

Mary, how are you gonna sell those loafers when you need to get a dime bag later on, right?

[Katie]

I get buried, just put a bikini. Put my naked body in the hole and then throw dirt on it. I know it's kind of unceremonious, but, like, why are we wasting shit?

[Mary]

No, it's not horrible. It's very practical. I think that this cemetery industrial complex really needs a reorgan, a refresh and a re coming to Jesus.

[Nick]

Literally.

[Katie]

Right?

[Mary]

You know, I think about that a lot. I think about those mausoleums, girl. What's inside there? A rave? Is it a secret entrance to, like, a factory party?

[Katie]

Have you ever been to, like, Hollywood? Of course. It's just these. I mean, hallways, liminal spaces. Names so huge up the wall.

[Mary]

Huge nothing pissing contest.

[Katie]

Why are you so special that you need to be riding in a box in a high rise?

[Mary]

Yeah, we got Little Miss Plaque down here. Overgrown shrubs, right? Can't even see her name. And then we've got the fucking Taj Mahal with like John Jay Guggenheimer or whatever the hell.

[Katie]

Jingleheimer Schmidt.

[Nick]

Thank you.

[Mary]

It's like, okay, so what right does that make my grief? As the daughter of this man, does that soften my grief or. So does it. Maybe it gives me a place to go. And do what?

[Nick]

Cry?

[Mary]

Have sex?

[Nick]

Vandalize?

[Mary]

It's stupid.

[Katie]

In my experience, visiting someone's grave makes me feel worse.

[Mary]

You can visit their memory anytime in your mind palace.

[Katie]

Right, Your mind palace.

[Mary]

No, but I'm not that. I've got.

[Katie]

Come on. Cream Nation.

[Mary]

Cream Nation.

[Katie]

Cream Nation.

[Mary]

Cream Nation.

[Katie]

Cream Nation.

[Mary]

Yeah. We are the son of the Cream nation. What the fuck is that? The thing is, we've got orcs again.

[Katie]

Bringing dogs to work isn't always the best thing.

[Mary]

No, that's why I keep my child at home.

[Katie]

Right. My dog is my child.

[Mary]

My child is in my hot car.

[Katie]

I don't have a dog, but if I did, I think I would be somebody who just have it all the time. I know it's irritating, but what kind.

[Mary]

Of dog would you have?

[Katie]

Whatever I can get. Sh. Well, I feel like I'd be getting to the. I would rescue and I would be so uppity about it.

[Mary]

No, no, no.

[Katie]

Sober people get sober and then it's all they talk about. I would rescue and the way every conversation would get like shoehorned into rescuing.

[Mary]

And your dog would be a two legged dog rescued from Vietnam. Right. Or some like two legged Guantanamo. One legged.

[Katie]

One legged.

[Mary]

Yeah. One legged. No eyes. It would be like the.

[Katie]

Yeah, but it would be happy.

[Mary]

So happy to have you as a doting parent.

[Katie]

Yeah, we're like a crossbody.

[Mary]

No. Say I have a gun to your head and you like, we're going to a breeder, no questions asked. What breed are you choosing?

[Katie]

Oh, I mean, at the risk of sounding crazy, I think you got to go really big or really small. We were just in. Where were we?

[Mary]

Hawaii.

[Katie]

Hawaii.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And we saw those giant dogs. That was pretty cool. What kind of dog?

[Mary]

That was a horse. Those were horses. Mastiff.

[Katie]

It's Marmaduke. Great day.

[Mary]

Mastiffs.

[Katie]

Horses. Marmaduke. Is that.

[Mary]

That was a Clydesdale. Yeah.

[Katie]

And I. My first thought was, oh, my God, To. To turn on the TV and lay on the floor with this dog. Hang out with the dog on the floor.

[Mary]

Suffocated today.

[Katie]

I don't think I'd ever invite dogs on furniture, but I would love to hang on the floor with the dog. Rub the belly you're such a good boy.

[Nick]

Of course.

[Mary]

And it's also like if you're a petite, big titted woman with a wet T shirt walking your dog. Safety.

[Katie]

Or I would get the tiniest dog. I would get one of those truly like cotton balls with a little face.

[Nick]

Okay.

[Mary]

That's hanging out of your little labo purse.

[Katie]

100% run all day. I saw a guy at the airport the other day. He got off the plane from Hawaii. I need a backpack with the dog's head just sticking out the top. I do love that. I love it. He's. The dog's probably happy.

[Mary]

Yeah. I love it when the women have it at the checkout line in the grocery store and they're clearly drunk.

[Katie]

Sure. Oh, get into this. A friend of mine. We're in Palm Springs. A friend of mine was like, let's stop at the grocery store and get wine. I have to get cheese and crackers. They don't think we're drunks. Have you heard of that? That's getting a charcuterie just as a cover.

[Mary]

That's too. People don't care. Come on. Some people maybe.

[Katie]

It's noon.

[Mary]

I know.

[Katie]

How many packs of crackers you can buy. Baby, it's noon. Also, Palm Springs, the old gays. Noon is five.

[Mary]

They've been up since it's nine o' clock somewhere.

[Katie]

100%.

[Mary]

But I would. Oh, Mary, talk about death.

[Katie]

Let's talk about it.

[Mary]

I watched a movie so disturbing. So, you know, a while ago they did a remake. Speak no Evil. It's called with James McAvoy. It was a horror movie about.

[Katie]

I love James McAvoy.

[Mary]

Oh, and he's jacked in this.

[Katie]

He's jacked and split too.

[Mary]

Yeah. Big, big stroke at material. Anyways, it's a remake of a Dana Would I do him right? Cream Nation.

[Katie]

Right. He is quite gorgeous. And my God, what an actor.

[Mary]

Exactly.

[Katie]

Split in glass.

[Mary]

Last week, Mama, he would split me in with the. Into my glass coffee table.

[Katie]

Having these entire conversations with himself as different characters.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

I don't. I listen to this pod and I'm like, who's. I can't even do my own voice. I'm like, what are you doing? I know.

[Mary]

I get ad accused for ads that like Vincent Price. I'm like, I can't do that. Or like, da, da, da, da. I'm like, I'll just do the weird one.

[Katie]

And also not just the voice, but believing the character and switching back and forth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick]

It's wild.

[Katie]

Wild. I'm gonna do drag 17 years and I can barely do a character that I invented.

[Mary]

Thank you. I've been doing drag 25 years and I can't walk in a heel.

[Katie]

Right, that's true.

[Mary]

But so this. So this.

[Katie]

Speak no evil.

[Mary]

Speak no evil.

[Katie]

I remember the commercials, Mary.

[Mary]

We saw the trailers in theaters. We saw these eight minute trailers that showed the entire fucking movie. I swear to God. But it's a remake of a Danish film of the same name. And let me tell you something about that movie. Spoiler alert. Dear listeners, on the 405 and the 110. This is so twi.

[Katie]

It's so. I did see this movie.

[Mary]

It's so fucking sad.

[Katie]

It's very like, sweeto, right? Mama, she's trying to escape in the end of the car, right?

[Mary]

It was so. I was like. I heard. I was like, oh, this is. The Danish version is so much like, crazier. And I'm like, oh, let's check. I was like, let's check it out. And I was like, last year, I.

[Katie]

Watched three Christmas movies that. The Color Purple. The Color Purple and Fried Green Tomatoes. Classic holiday films. I mean, if you're trying to avoid Tim Allen, what else do you have? Do you know what I mean?

[Mary]

The Tim Allen Christmas industrial complex is deep and vicious, but it was crazy. It was like. It was so girl, they could just get pelting.

[Katie]

James Akavoy is mentally ill.

[Mary]

He used to say, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Nick]

This is the.

[Mary]

The Danish one. The Danish one. It's. It's. It up. It's. Did you watch that one? It's in Danish.

[Katie]

I think I watched the James McAvoy one. Yes.

[Mary]

Oh, no, that's the one I watched. No, that's the remake. This is the original.

[Katie]

What is it called again?

[Mary]

Speak no Evil.

[Katie]

Okay, Yes. I remember looking up the movie and being like, this is so. I went on Wikipedia and that's how I found out it's a remake of a Danish. But I didn't see the original. Are you talking about the original?

[Mary]

I'm talking about the original. Okay, yeah, yeah, no. So, like, you know how the. The little boy goes and he shows that his tongue has been cut off? Well, fast forward. It's all about this couple that can't say no. They're too nice. They're too. It's all about, like, this. This sadistic fucking evil couple taking advantage of these polite families who just can't.

[Katie]

Like, they're like, oh, I do remember this now. Yes, yes, yes.

[Mary]

But this. This escalates and towards the End. They go back.

[Katie]

There's flirting.

[Mary]

Well, they go back because the little girl needs her bunny.

[Katie]

Oh, I remember.

[Mary]

I'm like, mama girl. The way that.

[Katie]

That's like running into the house. The child who runs into the house for their animal, but they're little. Boo, Boo, let them burn.

[Mary]

I was like, in this whole plot, the whole thing got rolling by the dad looking for a bunny. And then they met this couple, whatever. So the bunny is like.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

I was just like, fuck this fucking bunny.

[Mary]

You're about to get pelted with rocks naked until you're dead, bitch.

[Katie]

Right? Fuck the bunny.

[Mary]

Fuck the bunny. Oh, it was so sad and frustrating and horrible.

[Katie]

Well, it's hard for me to turn on the TV for anything, for any reason.

[Mary]

Welcome to Derry.

[Katie]

But I am watching welcome to Derry new episode last night.

[Mary]

I didn't see it, but I saw that.

[Nick]

Chomp, chomp, chomp, Come to mama.

[Katie]

The first episode was bracing because. Spoilers, spoilers. They really introduce you to a bunch of characters, kids, and they make you feel like, oh, this is, you know, I love Stephen King. And they were like, okay, this is our losers Club of 1962. This is the. This is the kids we're gonna follow. We're getting introduced to their dad, their family dynamics, all that. Most of them die in the end of the first episode. And you're left being like, oh, shit. This is. Don't forget, this is a story about a child killer who is still on the prowl decades later. So we know that this is going to be kind of a ran through, bloodshed, ran through, bloodshed incident.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And the velocity and the bravery to kill children is something only Stephen King really does. The beginning. Salem's Lot starts with two kids dying. Two kids dying.

[Mary]

I love that.

[Katie]

Cemetery. Cemetery. Engage. Dying.

[Mary]

My God.

[Katie]

I think it's because he knows, like, there's kind of nothing more universally, universally abhorrent than children getting killed.

[Mary]

Baby, have you seen the butterfly effect with Ms. Ashton Kutcher?

[Katie]

Yes. Long time ago.

[Mary]

I read the Wikipedia. Dogs burning alive, people getting arms chopped off. Babies and moms firecrackers exploding in their heads and die. I read the. I thought this was a lighthearted, like, rom com. Kind of like Gwyneth Paltrow Sliding doors.

[Katie]

Like, what if.

[Mary]

Oh, it's morbidly, graphically sad and crazy.

[Katie]

It's sad. And then at the end, I believe he walks by this woman and doesn't introduce himself because bad things will happen.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Sad.

[Nick]

Horrible.

[Mary]

It was. I was like, I read the book, the plot, and I Was like, huh? Eh. I want to watch it.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Mary]

But I did see the clip of the. I can't see the dog getting caught on fire because, you know, your dog. But I did see the child and the mom open the mailbox then.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's tough. It's crazy. I wonder with welcome to Dairy, because, you know, like, people love Pennywise, and all of the movies have featured Pennywise as kind of like Pennywise's base self is a clown.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

But in the book, which I've read two and a half times now, there's the. The entity of it is like it.

[Mary]

Changes according to be.

[Katie]

From space.

[Mary]

Oh.

[Katie]

Known to be. Like, it has no real form because it changes forms all the time. And so I wonder if people watching it. I mean, at four episodes in, I wonder if people watching it are like, where's my goddamn clown?

[Mary]

I think they are. That's what they're saying. Yeah. But they're also. I think they're welcoming this new. I mean, really grisly, cool format.

[Katie]

Because in the book and in the movie, most of the time, Pennywise is matching your freak of whatever the scaredest of.

[Mary]

He's a streetwalker, right?

[Nick]

He's showing them titties.

[Katie]

No, he's not showing the titties. Oh. The first episode was really sick when the girl eating the liver put her fingers up to the kid's face. That was disgusting.

[Mary]

What about the pickles?

[Katie]

The pickles were crazy and sick. The scariest part of it for me was the part where they go to the movie theater in the first episode and they're trying to see what happened to Maddie, and they're watching the Music man, and then he's in it. Your dead friend being in the movie and then looking right at you, it's an immediate no. You really leave the theater.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

They're all kind of talking.

[Mary]

Go to the box office, you get your money back.

[Katie]

You get great actors, though, which I. Child actors can make or break it, and they're all turning it. Mary.

[Mary]

I'm telling you, I'm. As the entertainment czar of the United States and the world, I'm going to lift my embargo on child actors just for this series and a few others.

[Katie]

This. This main actress, I forget her. Lily. Every time she cries, I cry. What a great crier. Look at this. Olip ginger ale.

[Mary]

I know. I forgot to mention. Well, I just. I have been enjoying some really refreshing gulps of this incredible drink. What is this again? Crisp apple.

[Katie]

Ooh. It's good for a digestive. Health.

[Mary]

But with it. I wanted to ask you, with Pennywise, do you prefer Bill Scars Guard versus or in a cage match? Bill Scars Guard versus Tim Curry.

[Katie]

Oh, God. I don't.

[Mary]

Because I love how faggoty and fun Tim Curry is. And I think he's also scary. He's like a Freddy Krueger.

[Katie]

I think that the Skarsgard take is playing him more like a child. Like, he's trying. Even the face of Pennywise, they make him look like he has, like, full cheeks, like a kid.

[Mary]

He's like the Gerber baby. Yeah.

[Katie]

His mouth feels like a kid's mouth.

[Mary]

I just don't like all the. I don't like the wardrobe, and I feel like.

[Katie]

I feel like Tim Crave played it more like a pedophile, a kid killer.

[Mary]

He played it like. Like a dirty old man.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mary]

But also he was like, hey, fat boy.

[Katie]

You know, something they, like, talk about more in this series, which I do like, is it's in 62, so obviously, like, race is a big part of it. It reminds me of Watchmen.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Because the guy who plays Will Hamlin is the guy who plays young Hooded Justice. And Watchmen. Same guy.

[Mary]

Same guy.

[Katie]

Hbo. Not Hulu. Listen, it's not cable.

[Mary]

It's hbo. And this is not on hbo.

[Katie]

The director is.

[Mary]

That was on Apple Plus.

[Katie]

What's the director's name? Something.

[Mary]

Ron Perlman.

[Katie]

No, him and Spielberg. Andy Muschietti. Is that right?

[Mary]

She knows her directors.

[Katie]

Andy. Andy Muschietti, who did the movies.

[Mary]

Oh, no way.

[Katie]

Sister is the producer.

[Nick]

It's a family of friends.

[Katie]

I saw two last names and I just assumed husband, wife. And I looked it up and. They're from.

[Mary]

Dairy.

[Katie]

No, they're from Argentina.

[Mary]

Oh, Argentina. Argent. Argentina is a.

[Katie]

What did I say?

[Mary]

Argentina.

[Katie]

Which is Argentina.

[Mary]

That's fun. Argentina is a hotbed of nasty, unrelenting horror films. Remember that one we watched in my house? When evil lurks?

[Katie]

Oh, love that.

[Mary]

God, that was horrible.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

You moved a rotten.

[Mary]

Oh, I thought that was so depressing.

[Katie]

It was awesome. When the little girl gets killed by the dog.

[Host]

When.

[Mary]

And then also the.

[Nick]

The car.

[Katie]

Yeah, it's love that. But I guess what. What I like about the series so far is, like, one of the other big things about it is the influence it has over the city as a whole. How the adults don't really notice or care that much. The kids die. Don't believe the kids. And then as soon as one of those cycles is over, dairy just, like, kind of forgets about it, which is obviously like trauma.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

People bury their. But I love it. I can't. I don't know how many episodes there are. We're four episodes in. I'm excited. Yeah, But I love Stephen King and sometimes people watch stuff mad. Yeah, People love Drag Race. Fucking hate it. Do you know what I mean?

[Mary]

I do. I don't. Of course I know exactly what you mean, because I wish you were at this viewing party I was at because.

[Katie]

For what?

[Mary]

Drag Race. It was a while ago. A bunch of gay people.

[Katie]

What were you doing at a viewing party?

[Mary]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry. It wasn't a formal viewing party. It was just a bunch of gay people watching.

[Katie]

Oh, I thought you, like, wanted to feel famous. And you went down to West Hollywood and you're like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Mary]

This was, like, 12 gay men watching Drag Race. It was the episode where Lala Re wore the gift bags. Mary, the vitriol. Not even. Vitriol doesn't even come close. The. The invectives we were hurling at the screen, the slurs, the slanders. It was like. It was like we were wanting to kill all gay in drag. It was so crazy.

[Katie]

I think the. The first brick of that falling was Amazon prime, because every faggot was watching Drag Race being like, I could get a wig by month, by month, by Tuesday, I could let all these hoes have it. But the truth is, owning a wig, owning a car doesn't mean you can drive.

[Mary]

It's case in point.

[Katie]

You know what I mean?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Katie]

I wish. I wish, I wish I'll be an earshot when I heard some faggot say, like, I could do that because my.

[Mary]

Head would turn like the Exorcist. You wouldn't even turn your body.

[Katie]

It would be very Pennywise. Balloons would float out. You know what I mean? They would start to smell popcorn. I just. I mean, people who love things hate them. People. And I love the Sims. People who love the Sims hate the Sims. People who love Drag Race do nothing but hate on Drag Race. And people who love Stephen King will watch every iteration of it but have problems with all of it.

[Mary]

Yeah, I mean, I think there's a.

[Nick]

There's a.

[Mary]

Somebody called me a hater the other day online, and I took. I was like.

[Katie]

I cried.

[Mary]

I'm just kidding.

[Nick]

Just kidding.

[Mary]

But I was like. I was like, oh, shoot. I don't want to be a hater. I like being a critic. I like being critically evaluative about stuff. I like, you know, discussing things and, like, Thinking about them and talking about them, critiquing them. But I've been watching All's Fair, and now this is a show that defies description, critique, and evaluation.

[Katie]

Right?

[Mary]

Because it's.

[Katie]

Why are you watching this?

[Mary]

Because it's. Have you ever seen a train track? Like an old timey train accident with all the cars get piled up and huge plumes of smoke and people dying everywhere? That's kind of what this is in a way. It's like a version of television that it's so bad, but it's such a particular way. I don't know how to describe it, really. Well, first of all, Niecy Nash, who's carrying the show on her shoulders, her name is Emerald Green, and I think that is so great.

[Katie]

Right?

[Mary]

Naomi Watts is trying to find some kind of character. She's wearing capes. That's as far as she's getting.

[Katie]

Is this a Ryan Murphy thing?

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Mary]

Sarah Paulson is. Every word out of her mouth is a. Is an over the top filthy insult that was written by, like, the nastiest 16 year old gay guy. Like, hey, jizz face, I see you took time out of felching your grandma to come to the office today, you big fat fucking shit wad. I mean, literally like that. And then Kim Kardashian is there.

[Katie]

With.

[Mary]

Thong out at the office at the firm, swinging big and starring in this vehicle. She looks exquisite. Like her hair and makeup, or her makeup. Some of the hair is weird, is so beautiful. And then you hear the words and the delivery and the dialogue, and you're.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Like, wow.

[Mary]

This is giving Gal Gadot a run for her money in a way, but it's so glossy and it's so splashy and it's so colorful. I don't know. It's a very interesting cultural moment. It got a zero in Rotten Tomatoes, and yet it's one of Hulu's biggest hits.

[Katie]

That's what I mean. Somebody yesterday was like, are you gonna watch it? I said, why would I watch it? It looks bad. And they said, because all the gays are watching it. I said, that's not enough to convince me.

[Mary]

No, I don't like that.

[Katie]

That's not enough to convince me.

[Mary]

No, no, no.

[Katie]

All the gays were wearing chokers for a while. I didn't do that.

[Mary]

All the gays have cock rings in rng.

[Katie]

Everyone's in a cock cage. Everyone's. Everyone's cucked.

[Mary]

Wait, I never asked you. I never asked you about how your locktober went.

[Katie]

Oh, you know, it is good. But the problem is they don't tell you you got to trim your pubes because the roughage starts to grow in around the metal. And then it's kind of like a trellis on the side of a house.

[Mary]

Yeah. A vertical garden, right? Yeah.

[Katie]

And then every time I had a boner, I lost a full row of pubes. And those actually hard to grow back.

[Mary]

Yeah. That's why you get the Kim Kardashian merkin panty.

[Katie]

You know what? I don't want to yuck anyone's yum. Lock your dick up. Do it.

[Mary]

Lock your dick balls up, mama. Lock your asshole up.

[Katie]

Today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by. Better help. You better help. It's time for the holidays. Wow. I love the holidays. I love Christmas, albeit I'm not religious, But I still love the whole thing. I love everything about it. I think that decorating a tree is a healing thing. But I'm going to tell you, for a lot of people, therapy can dig new things up. Therapy can remind us of things that make us feel not great, remind us of absences, people we miss in our life. Remind us of family dynamics that we don't necessarily miss all the time. And it's a wonderful time of year to touch base with yourself. Most of us have a little time off work, a little more time to take stock. It's time to think about New Year's resolutions, who you're going to be next year, which parts of yourself you want to nourish and which parts of yourself you want to prune. I think that's really important. And I think having some talk therapy as a base level, like, feedback of how to talk about these things is super helpful. You would be amazed how many times just hearing something come out of your mouth sounding absurd is illuminating. You'd be amazed how much saying something to somebody else realizing, I can't believe I already knew that. I had more answers than I thought. That's my favorite thing about talk therapy, is that you have more answers than you think you do. You know better than you think you know. And talk therapy for me has always been, like, a really good way to organize all these things into, like, what's real and not real. Which thoughts do I have are contributing, which thoughts are not contributing? When you start betterhelp, you can match with a licensed therapist, and you can switch at any time for any reason. So the initial matching is really lovely. You can ask things like, I want somebody who specializes in gay stuff or money issues or whatever. So it can be really helpful with your kind of questionnaire to help figure out exactly who's right for you. Like for me, I just always feel more comfortable with another gay man. That's just me. And so I I'm able to kind of specify that with who I'm looking for. And with over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is one of the world's largest online therapy platforms, having served over 5 million people globally. And it works. The average rating is 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. I really think we all should just show up for ourselves, and I don't know why. It's radical to say I'm just going to endeavor to be the best for myself, not for anybody else. For myself. This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Our listeners get 10% [e-mail] bald that's betterhelp h e l p.com bald this.

[Nick]

Episode of the Bald and the Beautiful.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Is brought to you by Aura Frames.

[Nick]

Picture it Christmas Eve.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

The clock tolls like a vengeful cathedral bell. Snow lashes against my window as I stand trembling in my living room, realizing.

[Nick]

With catastrophic horror that I have once.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Again forgotten a gift for the one person I always struggle to shop for, my Aunt Janet from Southie.

[Nick]

The woman who collects porcelain figurines, judges.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

My life choices with theatrical size and.

[Nick]

Expects a present that feels as rare as a 19th century Faberge egg made.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

For Tsar Alexander III. Panic consumes me like a flood. I've done the frantic Christmas Eve shopping run before. I still bear the emotional scars from tackling a grandmother's to grab the last flat screen TV in 2. I still remember the somber scene, shelves barren, spirits broken and hope evaporating like breath on a cold window pane. But then, in my most desperate of hours, salvation arrives in shimmering digital glory. Aura frames a gift so personal and heartfelt it feels pulled from your very soul. This year, Aunt Janet is getting the Carver Matte frame because it possesses the elegant simplicity she demands and the grandeur she falsely believes she deserves. I clutch my phone like a lifeline and begin uploading unlimited photos and videos straight into the Aura app. The process is so blessedly simple that my pulse steadies. Not only can I add photos from anywhere and at any time, but I can even preload them before the frame ships. A miracle. A modern Christmas mercy. And hence I curate our memories, from childhood chaos to last summer's misguided trampoline debacle in Martha's vineyard. Before I finalize the gift, I personalize it with a message that will greet her the moment she opens the box. A stunning premium gift box with no price tag. The kind that whispers both luxury and redemption. And in that moment, I realized that while you cannot wrap togetherness, you can frame it. And thank heavens for that, because Aura frames just saved my Christmas, my dignity, and quite possibly my relationship with aunt Janet forever. For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting or frames.com to get 35 off Aura's best selling Carver mat frames named number one by Wirecutter by using promo code bald at checkout. That's a U R A frames.com promo code bald. This deal is exclusive to our listeners and frames sell out fast. So order yours now to get it in time for the holidays. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout.

[Katie]

Well, hey, romance.

[Mary]

Oh, love it, love it, love it. What's better than love and romance?

[Katie]

It's porn with your clothes on.

[Mary]

It's sex without touching.

[Katie]

It's prolonged glances. It's. You know what it makes me think of? Makes you think of those Amish romance novels where the whole thing. You read the whole thing and the most sexually charged thing that happens is a long look.

[Mary]

A long look. Maybe like a flash of an ankle or.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Mary]

In the sunset.

[Katie]

In a life or death. Let's say you're allergic to bees. In a life or death bee sting, one of your arms became exposed. You know what I mean? Like one of your pustule.

[Mary]

Swollen arms.

[Katie]

Right. So I just felt like today's episode of all in the Beautiful is brought to you by audible. Of course.

[Mary]

Of course it is.

[Katie]

Of course.

[Mary]

Why wouldn't it be?

[Katie]

Who else?

[Mary]

Why wouldn't it be?

[Katie]

If they're listening to us talk. Yeah. Perhaps they could listen to real authors who've actually thought of what to say.

[Mary]

Yeah, I'd say amen.

[Katie]

Right. So this episode of Bald and the People. By the way, I'm listening to Needful Things on Audible and Stephen King is the person reading it.

[Mary]

Get out of here.

[Katie]

Pretty cool.

[Mary]

I'm reading Misery and Kathy Bates is doing it. You're just kidding. Of course I'm not. No, I wish.

[Katie]

Are you listening to the audiobook?

[Mary]

No, I'm reading the book.

[Katie]

I listen to the audiobook and the actress who plays her in that is Turnt.

[Mary]

Who is it? Is it Annie Wilson?

[Katie]

Wait, I don't remember if it's a guy or a girl who reads that book. I think it is a guy.

[Mary]

Some cocky doody actor the girl who.

[Katie]

Did Geraldine Claiborne was cunty.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

I love.

[Mary]

Okay, let's get back on track. Anyway, you saved this for the regular fun.

[Katie]

This episode of Bald and Beautiful is sponsored by Audible. Audible's most anticipated collection, the Best of the year 2025 is here. After countless hours of listening and heated debates, the Audible editors have announced this year's top audiobooks, podcasts, and originals. Hidden gems have been found, plus the buzziest new releases in all your favorite genres. Check it [e-mail] baldandbeautiful and now let's get into some Audible romance. You should check out Audible's amazing collection of romance audiobooks, like 10 Things I Hate About Christmas by AJ Pine, a sexy Christmas Rom com. Or Ms. Bennett, Christmas at Pemberley by Lauren Gunderson and Margot Melcone, a period piece that reimagines the famous Jane Austen character.

[Mary]

Bodice rippers. Come on through.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah. Bonnets.

[Mary]

Bonnet rippers.

[Katie]

Yes. And to and to honor these amazing romance audiobooks from Audible, we're going to come up with our own romance audiobooks in a little game we're calling the Fast and the Flirtiest.

[Mary]

Oh, I like that. So, Tokyo Drift.

[Katie]

We take these random cards and we're gonna randomly decide what the book is. So, girl, this is your winter reading.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Katie]

Secret baby and secret twin.

[Mary]

The Horfin. No, I'm just kidding.

[Katie]

This is a romance trope. Secret baby and secret twin.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Okay.

[Mary]

Oh, I didn't know I was pregnant with secret baby.

[Katie]

How does somebody not know they're a baby? How is it kept a secret?

[Mary]

Mama, that's me.

[Katie]

Secret twin.

[Mary]

I didn't know I was a baby and a twin.

[Katie]

If someone lives in your house and looks just like you and calls your mom Mom.

[Mary]

Could be a ghost.

[Katie]

Maybe it's not a secret. That's your twin.

[Mary]

Could be a ghost.

[Katie]

Could be the mirror. Wait, and then the character. The character's name is Lance Broadsword, and the premise is that a reclusive vampire hires a therapist.

[Mary]

Oh, this is classic Audible. This is the. This is the classic Audible yarn. That sexy old yarn that they love to spin around my. You know what?

[Katie]

They love it.

[Mary]

Yeah. You know, he's a vampire and he has a twin and he's sexy on Christmas.

[Katie]

Is that right?

[Mary]

Nope. But it could be.

[Katie]

A lot of people are sexy on Christmas.

[Nick]

That's true.

[Katie]

So many babies are conceived around that time. People say, financial situations be damned.

[Mary]

It's the holidays.

[Katie]

The whole. Yeah, yeah. I think people feel cuddly.

[Mary]

Yeah. It's.

[Katie]

They can Fix the marriage.

[Mary]

What do they call that? Buffing season.

[Katie]

Cuffing season. Nail buffing season.

[Mary]

I like buffing.

[Katie]

What do you got? What's your contribution?

[Mary]

Well, I mean, this riveting premise is really. Is really rock hard. We've got Vance Daggerhorn.

[Katie]

Another porn actor.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Or a financial analyst. Sexy, rock hard abs, ghost haunts a Pilates studio.

[Katie]

I mean, that makes sense, but you better hope you died with the abs because I don't think you can get abs once you're a ghost. Right.

[Mary]

That is a really good plot point. I think that would provide the twist.

[Katie]

I think this is a message to all the ultra marathoners out there.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

If you're at your peak physical form. Yeah, die.

[Mary]

Is there keto after death?

[Katie]

No, but the truth is once you die with the abs, you'll be able to eat whatever you want. Boo. Ain't nothing gonna happen, honey.

[Nick]

Have another serving of gravy.

[Katie]

Maybe you won't be hungry though.

[Nick]

Oh, because you're a vampire.

[Katie]

Go.

[Mary]

Oh, not a goat. No, you're.

[Nick]

No.

[Mary]

When you're a ghost in a Pilates studio, you just drink all those like green juices, but they just go right through you on the floor.

[Katie]

Celsius. You have a Celsius. Okay, so this is fun. This is kind of one of those classic stories when a royal falls for a commoner. Kind of like when was with Ashton. And this is starring Sebastian McPex. And this is fun because the town's new mayor falls for his deputy mayor.

[Mary]

The town's. Wait, what's. Oh, is that like the mayor and the. The second assistant of mayor.

[Katie]

It's the mayor of East Town. That's what it is. So this is kind of a fun story too. I remember listening to that. And you know who read that? Lance Bass.

[Mary]

Lance Bass.

[Katie]

Gay for me, you know, when I.

[Mary]

Was a little gay for my taste.

[Katie]

Right. I don't.

[Mary]

I don't want to hear that, Lance.

[Katie]

A little too gay.

[Mary]

Yeah. You're never going to believe when Rebecca De Mornay, sultry voice reads to you about two platonic best friends forced to share one bed on a road trip. Hitherto unattracted to each other.

[Nick]

But an extreme sports athlete and a.

[Mary]

Prudish historian, once they meet at a.

[Nick]

Museum, sparks fly and they cannot stop.

[Mary]

Doing you know what to, you know.

[Katie]

Where they met in a museum. And they're.

[Mary]

And they were on a road trip.

[Katie]

Yeah. Well, so sometimes when you meet, you instantly click and you say, should we just leave here and go on a road trip?

[Mary]

Exactly. Well, so they went to the museum. Well, they were forced to share one bed at the museum. You know how to. Swinton did the bed thing. She's, like, laid in the bed.

[Katie]

Oh, it's Abrovic.

[Mary]

Yes, it's Abromovic. Artists are present in sleeping.

[Katie]

Yes, the artists are sleeping.

[Mary]

Yeah. And one's an extreme athlete and a prudish historian. So maybe it's the docent and the Sha' Carri Wilson.

[Katie]

It absolutely is. Yeah, it absolutely is.

[Mary]

That's one of my favorite ones from audible, for sure.

[Katie]

It's also very Liz. Oh, an athlete and a historian.

[Mary]

Thank you.

[Katie]

It's a WNBA player and a women's studies major, and nobody knew they were attracted to each other.

[Nick]

A docent.

[Katie]

And it came out of nowhere.

[Mary]

Scissor at the Chapel Roan concert.

[Katie]

Oh, my God. I couldn't believe we were at the WNBA concert during Women's History Month and we scissored. So this is Second Chance at Love at the county fair.

[Mary]

Oh, I hope it's like the.

[Katie]

The.

[Mary]

When they Weigh the pigs.

[Katie]

Originally the title was Charlotte's Web. And this is. This is starring Portia Quiverbottom, who I believe was one of the antagonists in Harry Potter.

[Mary]

Ally McBeal.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Mary]

Ali McBeal.

[Katie]

And this is about Competing candle shop owners Ignite more than wicks.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Oh, arson.

[Katie]

Arson. I was just gonna say they burn each other's candle stores down. You burn it. You bought it. They.

[Mary]

Oh, all right. Well, that's nothing compared to this audible gem. Jasper Van Sin is the incredible author, as we know, and he's writing about a single, depressed, widowed dad and a sassy nanny who are trapped overnight in an IKEA during a snowstorm. No toilet is safe.

[Katie]

Oh, people be. Do people go in there? They sell toilets at ikea, baby.

[Nick]

They sell every.

[Katie]

Everything they do.

[Nick]

What don't they sell it?

[Katie]

Why do people go to the bathroom in the fake toilet?

[Mary]

Swedish meatballs.

[Katie]

I got something else for you. I got something that'll really get the juices going in a region that hasn't gone in years. Okay, so this is a messy roommate who falls for a clean roommate.

[Mary]

Relatable.

[Katie]

That's kind of fun. Which are you?

[Mary]

It depends. If it's a girl, I'm the clean one.

[Katie]

Right. This is starring Bunny lafleur.

[Mary]

Oh.

[Katie]

Who obviously is doing a tip spot at Hamburger Mary's, Ontario. And it's about a mermaid and a marine biologist find forbidden love on the high seas.

[Mary]

But is it really forbidden if it's a marine biologist?

[Katie]

No fucking kidding. It's like out here with a half chub with a telescope, hoping if it's.

[Mary]

Like a whaler and a dolphin, that's a little bit forbidden.

[Katie]

And also, if you're a mermaid looking for a land dweller, who's going to get you. Yeah, the marine biologist is going to get you.

[Mary]

They're going to get you. They're going to be your octopus teacher.

[Katie]

But the heartbreak of the marine biologist realizing that if you're a mermaid, you have probably no genitals.

[Mary]

Baby, that remains to be seen. And plus, there's other things that mermaids can do without genitals.

[Katie]

I think so too. But what.

[Mary]

But what about this?

[Katie]

What about it? You're miss. Oh, there we go.

[Mary]

Okay, well, Duke Thunderclap stars in this real intense, hot, sexy story about a romance book cover model who falls for.

[Nick]

A famous romance novelist, but it's his.

[Mary]

Best friend's older brother.

[Katie]

I guess you gotta go for it, right? That movie for Christmas. Not Four Christmases. That movie. That Christmas movie. The people switch boyfriends and girlfriends.

[Mary]

You only get one shot in this life. Go for it.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yolo.

[Katie]

Yolo.

[Mary]

Yolo.

[Katie]

Besides, I don't think you can steal anyone. They went to you. No, that's a really cop out to blame the person, right?

[Mary]

Absolutely it is. And especially, you know, like they say, brothers by chance, lovers by choice.

[Katie]

Right? Even if Beyonce herself climbs down from her helicopter and takes your. Like, your man went to Beyonce. Beyonce didn't take your man.

[Nick]

No, no, no, no.

[Katie]

Your man went to Beyonce. Yeah, and who wouldn't?

[Mary]

Yeah, I would.

[Katie]

I would.

[Mary]

Okay.

[Katie]

Okay. So this is fun too. And this kind of applies to you. So rich ice queen.

[Mary]

Rich or witch rich?

[Katie]

Formerly rich ice queen hires a sexy landscape architect. You lived it.

[Mary]

This is too close. This better have a happy ending.

[Katie]

Well, they used your stage name here. Tempestina Delust.

[Mary]

Oh, Tempestina.

[Katie]

Tempestina. The ice queen.

[Mary]

Living in Pookieville, girl. The mayor of Pookieville.

[Katie]

An exorcist and a demon fall in love during an exorcism.

[Mary]

Oh, that's your love story?

[Katie]

This is your love story.

[Mary]

I choose me.

[Katie]

You choose you. No, no, no. You choose the devil.

[Mary]

I was gonna say, if I had an exorcist, if I needed an exorcism, I would fall. I would make that demon fall in love with me. We would be to become one.

[Katie]

Right.

[Mary]

That song would play by the Spice Girls.

[Katie]

Such a. Yes, of course. Gorgeous song.

[Mary]

But what about when Dax rough hewn an alien in. An alien in their abductee fall madly.

[Nick]

In love on a spaceship with a.

[Mary]

Fake marriage for tax reasons that turn sexy.

[Katie]

What is a fake marriage?

[Mary]

Well, marriage fraud. So say me, you're from Bulgaria. You want a green card. I think you're hot. We, we. We do it up. We get married. We get the green card. But that's marriage fraud, baby. And that's a huge fellow.

[Katie]

Why is that marriage fraud?

[Nick]

Because we're not in love.

[Mary]

Who is the transaction. Well, that makes sense though, right? But an alien in there. An alien in the aliens abductee fall madly in love on a spaceship. That's absolutely. I could see that happening to me.

[Katie]

100.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Fire in the sky. I'm a fire in my crotch. Yeah.

[Katie]

He kidnapped me. He chose me. He chose all of a perspective.

[Mary]

He beamed.

[Katie]

Yeah, he went right past that cow and saw you and was like, hubba hubba.

[Mary]

He didn't probe me. He felt me. He discovered me.

[Katie]

Discover me, Ramon.

[Mary]

What is that?

[Katie]

There's a reason why you and I aren't writing romance novels. We don't have the great ideas Audible does.

[Mary]

If you want to finish the year with a sure thing, check out audible's best of 2025 and discover why. There's more to imagine when you listen. Listen [e-mail] bald and beautiful. Again, that's audible.com bald and beautiful.

[Nick]

This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by Noble Travel. Gather close, dear listeners, for on the eve of the holiday season, I shall tell you a tale as old as modern travel itself. Once upon a time, when this humble storyteller prepared for holiday journeys, I traveled with a sad, ordinary suitcase. It sagged at the seams as if waiting for a trip that would never come, its faded fabric carrying the ghosts of destinations it would never see. Even the luggage tag drooped like a sad flower. But then, like the North Star, a miracle of travel was born. I discovered the Noble all in one. Carry on. And I became truly obsessed. Noble has banished the zipper entirely. Instead, it closes with strong latch locks, the two halves meeting with such a perfect seal that you can feel and hear a click so reassuring it could tuck you in at night. Noble fixed all the tiny woes that once made travel feel like trudging through a tunnel of sadness. Its built in charging port keeps my phone alive at the gate so I no longer crouch by a lonely outlet with other sorry souls. For a measly 5% gain, its front laptop pockets make TSA feel gentle rather than frightening, saving me from those little panic attacks as the line watches. And my favorite part of all, a cup holder that flips right out of the suitcase itself, ready to cradle my coffee, my water and my boarding pass. Not to mention its smooth 360 degree wheels that glide like a sleigh over fresh fallen snow. I used it during my Thanksgiving travel and a previously heinous experience became a beacon of light as I made my way to family and fun. And it's not just me. More than 12,000 flight attendants and pilots swear by Noble. So remember this tale, children. Noble's all in One Carry on is the durable, safe and brilliantly designed luggage travelers dream about. Every suitcase comes with a 100 day money back guarantee, free 3 day express shipping and a lifetime warranty. And that, my dear listeners, is the Christmas story of how holiday travel became joyful at last. Noble gives you real travel, peace of mind, security, design and convenience all in one. For a limited time, Noble is having the biggest sale ever. Head to nobletravel.com for up to 58% off your entire order. That's n o b l travel.com for up to 58% Off. After you purchase, they'll ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you this episode of the Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at Rakuten. There was a time, dear listener, when I was the worst shopper in the world. I wandered the holiday aisles in December like a ghost of poor budgeting, clutching coupons that expired in 2009, praying for mercy as I paid full price at Macy's for things I did not even need. I stood at rock bottom, surrounded by rejected promo codes and the faint aroma of financial despair. But then, in my darkest hour, a spark from the heavens ignited and Rakuten appeared. And like a phoenix, I rose. The truth is simple. Rakuten made me a champion, a conqueror of sorts, a sovereign of savings. How? You may be asking yourself. Well, because Rakuten lets you earn cash back at all your favorite stores and during the holidays, that cash back stacks right on top of the holiday sales. Savings on top of savings. If the store has 20% off and Rakuten has 15% cash back, I sacked them both. And I ascend to the heavens. And these stores are everywhere. Sephora, Target, Best Buy, Adidas, Bloomingdale's, Ulta, Nike, Levi's, even wine.com for when I need to bring a nice bottle of Chateau Neuf du Pape to Christmas dinner to impress my uppity distant cousins, I check Rakuten's weekly Big deal reveals like sacred prophecies, there's always a store Offering epic rates so powerful they feel ordained by festive Christmas angels. And the most wondrous part. Membership is free and signing up is easy. Join me and feel like a sworn knight in the kingdom of holiday competence. There are already 17 million members who are saving, earning over $4.6 billion in cash. Back with Rakuten. I, once the weakest shopper of all, have been reborn. Join me at Rakuten, where even the broke can rise again. Stop what you're doing and go to rakuten.com, download the app or install the browser extension right now. Join today for a new member. Welcome bonus after minimum qualifying purchases, terms and conditions apply.

[Katie]

Today's episode of all the Beautiful brought to you by Olipop. I love Olipop. My favorite sodas. Classic soda taste with the benefits of a functional ingredient blend to support digestive health. You guys, I have some favorites in the past. I love the grape one. I love the cream soda one. And there's a new one for holidays, y'. All. It's a limited edition crisp apple. So Ollie and Pop made their first appearance on limited edition holiday cans starring vintage cola and ginger ale. And that was like last year's kind of holiday offering. And this year, for their better for you holiday soda. All three festive flavors are 50 calories or less with just 2 to 5 grams of sugar and up to 9 grams of fiber. You guys, I love a sparkling water. I'm telling you, Olipop tastes like soda. It's amazing. It's amazing. I keep my fridge stocked with it. I drag is hard on the body, touring is hard on the body and I just feel like small things like having an Olipop a day just makes me feel like I really set myself up for success. A lot of my arthritis medicine sometimes can give me like forms of indigestion and so little changes like adding Olipop. Listen, you can convince me to sit down and have a crisp apple holiday Olipop. Okay? I am capable of doing this. Thank you, you guys. I have never been a girl who loves full sugar, full fat, full everything, full caffeine soda. But I also am a girl that a plain sparkling water just doesn't hit for me. When I discovered Olipop, it was on the heels of me loving several other like natural sodas. And this Olipop situation is great because it supports my digestive health. I am getting older. I am at a point in my life where every meal I have I need to think about how that could affect my digestive body. My personal Favorite is grape. I think the grape one is absolutely incredible. But these holiday ones, like vintage cola, obviously love this ginger ale one obviously love. When I was not drinking alcohol for a few years, ginger ale was my go to everywhere because it's just delicious. It's stomach soothing. Love it. When I buy my Olipops, what I love about you too is stored on the street from my house has them one can, like single cans. So I'll just go and get like one of each. And then every time I'm having a soda, it's a different flavor, you know. And I gotta tell you guys, I'm from a family that is wrought with diabetes. Native Americans get diabetes a little faster and easier, I believe. And my mom has diabetes, my grandma had diabetes. And it makes me aware of like how much I intake sugar. Because some things like chewy gummy candies, I know I'm probably gonna freak out and have too many of those. So something like 90% of Americans consume more than the USDA's daily average recommended sug intake. 90%. I just want to be not in that 90%, please. Vintage Cola has 2 grams of sugar. A normal Coca Cola has 39. You guys know I've been thinking of being a parent. I can't imagine giving my children full soda. My children will be Olipop children. Okay, get a free can of Olipop. Buy any two cans of Olipop in store and we'll pay you back for one. Works on any flavor, any retailer, including the Yeti limited edition cans. Drinkollipop.com bald drinkollipop.com bald Olipop is sold.

[Mary]

Online, drinkolipop.com and Amazon and available in almost 50,000 retailers nationwide, including Costco, Walmart, Target, Publix, Whole Foods, Kroger and H E B.

[Katie]

How did you love Hawaii?

[Mary]

I liked it a lot. I had one day.

[Katie]

Did you get those pancakes I told you to get, baby?

[Mary]

I went to that fina and I went to that motherfucking pink hotel. The breakfast and that breakfast.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

I wanted to.

[Mary]

I was like, do I eat it where I shove it up my freaking ass?

[Katie]

That breakfast, the Royal Hawaiian. That breakfast was. I went two days in a row.

[Mary]

Barbara. Shout out to Barbara. That waitress, she was cuntisha. I got the bread pudding, French toast each time. Cause I couldn't say no. Yeah, it was first day I got some kind of the pancake special.

[Katie]

I got a burrito thing. And the next time I got the pink pancakes. Those were probably the best pancakes I've ever had.

[Mary]

This was the Best brioche or bread pudding French toast at a pink palace I have ever enjoyed in my life. It was so delicious.

[Katie]

And I jumped in the ocean. The water was so warm. Yeah, ocean water, that's so warm. Even in like Santa Monica in the summer, the water's not that hot. No, that Hawaii water was hot.

[Mary]

Well, it wasn't hot. Thailand is like hot. This was warm.

[Katie]

It was amazing. It had to be pushing 90. No.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yes.

[Katie]

Seriously?

[Mary]

Yeah, maybe 87.

[Katie]

Because I keep my pool at about 90 when I'm warming it, which I know people, some people think is hot, but I don't like that moment of getting in and well, that's.

[Nick]

I had a little.

[Mary]

When I went in, I was like, ah. But then I quickly acclimated. Mary. That sand was. Was crab free, rock free. That water was turquoise. Oh, yeah, it was clean. It was so shallow all the way out. I think I went a half. I think I went two and a half miles out. Still up to the knees.

[Katie]

Yeah, I had a really good time. I got in that water, I just was like, I gotta get in it just for a second.

[Mary]

So I did all the sand in my asshole. You wouldn't believe so much. I mean, you could probably like make an adobe hut with all that sand.

[Katie]

I got back to my room and I took my swimsuit off. The amount of sand that hit the floor had me wondering where it was.

[Mary]

Where was it, Mama? It was in your uterus.

[Katie]

I had to go get the two room key cards and create a shovel and like, like, like a sandcastle that came from my perineum. Mary.

[Mary]

I know. I had to change rooms because I.

[Nick]

Clogged the shower with the sand. Yeah.

[Mary]

No, I'm just kidding. But I mean, I could have, I should have probably.

[Katie]

No, Once I was in the shower, the amount of sand that came off me. Am I ruining the shower?

[Mary]

It just kept coming. I was like, I don't feel. This is like douching.

[Katie]

I feel there's much sand on me. And in the shower it's like, really? Is that what you think?

[Mary]

It was like you're a human pepper shaker coming from the shower.

[Katie]

Seriously. It was that much. It's not like it could get hot in my hair, you know?

[Mary]

Well, I always. I put my hair up in a thing anyways.

[Katie]

Saw a video of myself in the ocean doing that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Beyond the self body shaming, which I won't subject any of you to, the patch of hair on my lower back has gotten so Dark and egregious and thick and present. Omnipresent.

[Mary]

Omnipresent. Confrontational.

[Katie]

If you didn't. If I was walking away from you, you could grab it and pull me back. Oh, no, I swear to. It's like a cheerleader's pom pom on my. On my all five Mary.

[Mary]

You just go up to 8,000 sunset. Go to Miss European Wax and ask for Mary. She'll get you good right away.

[Katie]

I like, I barely have eyebrows, but I have a woolen basket in the lower back.

[Mary]

But I have a full ball, a scrub dad, three quarter wig on my lumbar spine.

[Katie]

And also, how many people have been back there and said nothing? Shout out to all those nice people.

[Mary]

Well, you know what? Listen, People love.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

People love hair.

[Nick]

People love not hair.

[Katie]

You know what it gives? Have you ever seen like that haircut was all bald except a pony? Like one island of a pony here. That's what I'm giving.

[Mary]

It also gives malignant. You know what I mean? Oh, maybe it's like, what was that guy's name? Jeffrey.

[Katie]

No, her fake brother.

[Mary]

Oh, yeah. Juniper. I forget.

[Katie]

I don't remember.

[Mary]

Damien. No. Malachi something.

[Katie]

It's something like that. What do you think? All those religious names.

[Mary]

Oh, I love religious names. I would.

[Katie]

Malachi.

[Mary]

If I would name my. My. If I had a dog, I would name it Christian, John, Mark and Luke. No, Christian, John, Mark, Luke, Christian. Yeah. I mean, I have no. I don't have a religious name brand. Irish. I mean, I like regular names. I'm not. I'm not really into the Michaela's and the McNavy's and the McBailey's, all that stuff. That's a very, like, Midwest Southern gymnastics type of thing.

[Katie]

Oh, dance team.

[Nick]

Yes.

[Mary]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like. I like.

[Katie]

Come here Racket. They all got crazy names.

[Mary]

Yeah, yeah, McRacket, Satchel.

[Katie]

Yeah, whatever. Satchel.

[Mary]

So it's always like a. Something like a guys Rise McMadison satchel or whatever.

[Katie]

Rise, Phoenix, McSatchel. So I went to the ocean. I wanted to touch the ocean with my little foot, right? And I had my. My men's clothing on, and I just want to touch the ocean. And I have my shoes on and I brought my sneaker. And I was like, I'm just gonna touch this ocean. And then before the wave comes back, I'm skittle, right? I'm gonna Skittle out of here. Don't, don't. I want to touch it. Don't, don't. Right? So I go to touch it with my like I go to touch it and the water comes quick and slow. The water overcomes my sneaker. How splash clouds are 80 wet. Great. Like, like up to almost the ankle. I go, okay, great. And I'm like dealing with it, right? I'm kind of like going, no, no, like screaming up at the universe, you.

[Mary]

Know if anybody Jennifer Lewitt in them.

[Katie]

At the end of the movie, oh no, my butt. And also thinking, yeah, duh, waves, yeah. Do you think it was gonna stop magically and wait for you to touch it?

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Katie]

No, no. And then this old lady to my right goes, haha. I thought haha was so crazy.

[Mary]

Haha's a little, I don't know you. Haha's a little haha antagonistic and also a little familiar.

[Katie]

She might have said, I know you are, but what am I? It was like she was trying to one up me and I go, haha.

[Mary]

I would have been more comfortable with a. Seriously, what did you think was gonna happen?

[Katie]

And then this family, this family's watching. Family with children is watching probably to see how I'm gonna respond, right? So now I feel all kind of like, yeah, I gotta say something.

[Mary]

You take your earrings and I go, haha.

[Katie]

And I turned her. I go, haha, haha. That swimsuit, haha. That hair that looks like straw bitch.

[Mary]

Haha. That frass front ass and that.

[Katie]

The dad of the family was watching me say that and then was like, oh. And looked at her and she didn't respond. So then it was kind of over. So I think I kind of won. You did.

[Mary]

You did win. But I wish it would have evolved into a world star hip hop kind of moment. You could have gone viral.

[Katie]

What would you have done if you opened Twitter and it was like struggling drag race star jacked it gets in a full fist fight with a woman on a Beach.

[Mary]

Yeah. 73 year old woman, one piece bathing suit from Des Moines. I would have jacked it all night long, right? That would be so great.

[Katie]

What would you do?

[Mary]

I would have jacked it, right? Jerked it and then I would have printed it out and then gone to the library and looked at it as microfiche.

[Katie]

I wish we were famous enough to have Mary paparazzi after us because I would love for us to have something with an umbrella or something, but I.

[Mary]

Don'T think they do that anymore.

[Katie]

They don't, I think.

[Mary]

Only I think I don't think that level of. Well, I mean, I know it like the hairstyles and stuff, like K pop people, you know, like, the girls, the.

[Katie]

I'm still on a level of fame, but if I see paparazzi, my. I feel. I feel elated.

[Mary]

Why?

[Katie]

I'm like, they wasted pictures on me. Like, I'm like, oh, my God. I'm always like, oh, they thought I was Guy Branham or something. They thought it was.

[Mary]

They thought it was Madeline.

[Katie]

Billy Corgan. Yeah. I don't know.

[Mary]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Katie]

I don't know.

[Nick]

I was.

[Mary]

I heard a comedian say the level of. The most common level of fame nowadays is that they either don't know you, they either don't know who you are, or they know what you've had for lunch. Does that make sense?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Like, it's like, oh, yeah.

[Katie]

The one. I was at an award show and I was leaving, and they were just taking pictures of anyone who was leaving. Because I think, no, no photographer is going to know who everyone is.

[Mary]

No. And that's what happened in Taco Truck.

[Katie]

Are accidentally like, taco Truck. What do you mean?

[Mary]

At the hospital, he's like, can I look at your Instagram? Once he saw that I had more, like, a lot of followers, he was like. And then his pictures. Photo shoot, photo shoot. He's like, I'm gonna post these. I was like, were you in drag? No, I wasn't in drag at all. But I had taken a photo down the street, like a block with two girls. And I guess he maybe saw it and figured, I don't know what. And he made a huge deal of it once he saw the. And that's happened before. Once I got robbed by those Pakistani gangs in London.

[Katie]

They.

[Mary]

Once they saw my Instagram, we became fast friends. This is not a. I'm not pulling the yarn. This is like, I almost got, like, rolled by this gang of young kids, but we. I didn't. I've told you about this, like, three times, I swear to God. And they. They stole money from me, but they didn't. They took $2 instead of the hundred dollar bill that was in my bag. Right?

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mary]

So. But once they saw the Instagram followers, they were like, oh, my God, this is Cate Blanchett. This is Tom Cruise.

[Katie]

They're benevolent thieves. They're.

[Mary]

No, we're. We're a team now.

[Katie]

Right?

[Mary]

Like, they want to be my entourage.

[Katie]

It was so wild.

[Mary]

It was crazy.

[Katie]

That's really weird.

[Mary]

But it's. But it makes sense, though, for kids, because what is a more pro, like, what is the. More, like, realistic opportunity in the future? Paying for college or going viral on TikTok?

[Katie]

Queen barrel? On TikTok Yeah, I read. Okay. The other day I googled.

[Mary]

What about fucking Brittany Broski?

[Katie]

What about her?

[Mary]

She has like a billion followers online and makes tons of money and is super famous.

[Katie]

Yeah, but she's famous for something. She's famous for being funny.

[Mary]

Yes, but she was discovered through a meme.

[Katie]

But I'm saying, I would argue that what she's put on the Internet is funny.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And she's funny and she's using the Internet to showcase funny.

[Mary]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Katie]

Versus the genre of content that is just. Just someone living that's hugely popular, which is usually like some hot girl. Right, Right. Just living.

[Mary]

Just living or eating. I mean, I was doing my little ASMR research, baby, and it's all about eating crabs.

[Katie]

There's an audience for a lot of things. What I. Nick and I were just. We were. We got asked to go to YouTube this Nick and we got to participate in something called MB Creators MBA in a day where you got to do all these like, in depth courses about being a YouTube creator. We were invited. No one knew why we were there.

[Mary]

Like, you don't eat crabs. No, it was.

[Katie]

The thing is, it was people who are like. I would say. I don't want to say who, but like individuals like Britney, that size, like team, where it's probably the person and their social media editor. Whatever. And then there was giant companies out of 100 plus employees that are technically YouTube channels. These like, content houses.

[Mary]

Oh, like the ones that I used to live, like behind the hills with all those drones and like.

[Katie]

No, not TikTok houses. Like. Oh, I'm gonna say, like jubilee. Okay.

[Mary]

Or like barstool sports.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah. Or like mythical kitchen. These giant YouTube channels that do like last meals or whatever.

[Mary]

First we feast. Yes.

[Katie]

So they were there giving interesting presentations about like, oh my God, it's a YouTube channel that has eight CEOs and like, like, wow, Jesus. Like for us to be a tiny YouTube channel and bald and beautiful here. I was like, so crazy to hear people, they. They run a YouTube channel. Like they run a cable network.

[Nick]

Right?

[Katie]

Hundred employees.

[Mary]

It's like the morning show with Jennifer Aniston.

[Katie]

One of the people were like, oh, we have a team of 2500. Team of 2500 freelancers.

[Mary]

We have a team of 2500 pieces of paper in the. In the office.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Maybe not even 500. 2,500.

[Katie]

We listen to these presentations all day, including one about. Honestly, it was 90 minutes. And I could not tell you what.

[Mary]

Was said was the corporate.

[Katie]

It was so over my head. It wasn't corporate Aaron because it wasn't word salad. It was intentional. Smart shit that was.

[Mary]

Was it.

[Katie]

The more I less I knew, the more my acting got worse. So, like, they were like Gaga, Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, like, pretending to type and nodding, even though I was googling exact words he would say. And you pick one word and Google it.

[Mary]

And you had no computer?

[Katie]

No, I had my iPad. Okay. And I was trying to open the box. I had a pizza box. And I was just trying to keep up. And 10 minutes in, I was like, this isn't for me. This is for big Brain.

[Mary]

Was it just like, advanced marketing and business?

[Katie]

It was biomechanics. No, I don't know what it is. It was something. Nick, do you remember what it is? Aip. Yeah. API. API. Like, coding and stuff like that.

[Mary]

Oh, yeah, coding. Of course, girl.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mary]

HTML. Love her.

[Katie]

I was like. And there was an exercise where they had to have your whole YouTube channel, and you had to draw a web of the way your company's laid out. And so they showed us a flow chart of, like, a company with 100 employees or whatever. So Nick and I have one piece of paper, and we write his name and my name. We're like, this is it.

[Mary]

We got boobs.

[Katie]

We got called boobs, Ed. And then guess who has to give a presentation at the end of the day? Who? Me. What? What? We get up there. We get up there and it's all these big time, big time people who run major, major, major YouTube channels who are like, oh, I came from. I came from cable, and I actually started this cable network and then ended up over here at this giant.

[Mary]

My name is Warren Buffett. You might have heard of me. Wow.

[Katie]

So then I'm up there and I'm like, how y' all doing? Great. So one time I did a video about the Amish. Like, I just was like, we're gonna.

[Mary]

Bake some Easy Big Oven stuff.

[Katie]

Yeah. We talked about some depth, creating depth of fandom, which is, like. I don't know what we always call, like, the Trixie cinematic universe of, like, there's music and. And DJing and stuff in my house. And, like, if people are fans, they might only be fans from seeing, like, you and I on TikTok.

[Mary]

Right.

[Katie]

Or they might be, like, hardcore fans who, like, can visualize my mom in videos.

[Mary]

They love the easy Bake.

[Katie]

Yeah. And so we tried to talk about that, and I think we were successful. But just after hearing these people literally give presentations on how to hire CEOs.

[Mary]

I was like, okay, like, well, I'll get some color. Let's get some splash. Enough of that gray jargon.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mary]

Did you take your top off?

[Katie]

No. They did ask me an interesting question that I didn't have a good answer for in the moment. Somebody asked me if people like to watch you because of they relate to you. I said, I think so. Right. I mean, I think people always tell you. And I. I'm the Trixie, I'm the Katie, I'm the whatever. Sorry. They go be. They've made you more successful. And so how do you manage being relatable to them, but then, like, appearing.

[Mary]

That's an excellent question.

[Katie]

Like wealthier.

[Mary]

Yeah. How do you. How do you maintain relatability while your lifestyle dramatically changes? That's a great question.

[Katie]

But I think that minimizing or concealing that change in your life isn't honest and isn't a good place to start.

[Mary]

It can be dishonest. Right. Yeah. It's a. It's a really. It's a hard thing to negotiate because it's. On the one hand you want to share. Part of your relatability is sharing the details of your life and yours. Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm just saying one's life and then. But of course, the. The problem is that many of the. Those details have become wildly unrelatable.

[Katie]

Right.

[Mary]

So if we're talking about I only have 18 rooms in my chalet.

[Katie]

I would. I would say you shouldn't have bought it.

[Mary]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Because, you know, you need 20.

[Mary]

All right, we got a wrap.

[Katie]

Oh, okay. Well, it was interesting anyway. And I just. I tried to grasp what over wisdom, but so much of it was over.

[Mary]

My head was like HTML biz.

[Katie]

It was like there was a pitching machine and I was swinging every time, but only connecting every once in a while.

[Mary]

That's okay.

[Katie]

It's like.

[Mary]

That sounds kind of scary and boring.

[Katie]

It wasn't scary or boring. It was like. It was the closest thing to college I'd felt since college o keep icebreakers.

[Mary]

I would rather just do the Gallagher thing and break watermelons.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Katie]

It was interesting, though. Really interesting. Do you know about streamers getting swatted?

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Swatted?

[Katie]

People who, like, love big streamers, AKA hate them, as we talked about, will call the FBI or whatever and say that there's, like, going to be a horrible bombing crime at that address. And while someone's on stream, the FBI SWAT team break into their fucking house. Isn't that crazy? Let's take a break. Let's take the ultimate break because that's it.

[Mary]

And I'm going to go kick some walls or something. We're talking to streamers and hearing streamer.

[Katie]

Talk about like that next level of.

[Mary]

Well, that's the thing. They know that. They know where you live. They know what you have for lunch because they're watching you have it in your home. Yes, that's why I always shoot in a cave.

[Katie]

What do you think about the guy who Rana Grande I I don't marry.

[Nick]

Go.

[Mary]

Come to Brazil, baby.

[Katie]

Cynthia should have got on that broom and flown them both out of there. Baby.

[Mary]

When I was walking to six years ago when I was wiggling my sweaty ass to a nightclub at 3am to a stage that had on it, I had a ring of 12 Brazilian bodyguards for me because people would have ripped the flesh out my body.

[Katie]

Brazil is next level.

[Mary]

It's incredible.

[Katie]

Okay, goodbye. Bye.

[Sponsor Voice 3]

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