Timothée Chalamet: An Alien Who Lives Amongst Us? with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Detailed Summary of "Timothée Chalamet: An Alien Who Lives Amongst Us?"

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
• Host/Authors: Studio71
• Episode Title: Timothée Chalamet: An Alien Who Lives Amongst Us?
• Release Date: November 12, 2024

Overview: In this entertaining and candid episode of The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, hosts Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova delve into the enigmatic persona of Timothée Chalamet, humorously comparing him to an alien navigating the human world. The conversation seamlessly weaves through pop culture, personal anecdotes, and sharp social commentary, all delivered with the hosts' signature wit and charm.

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1. Introduction to Timothée Chalamet's Uniqueness

The episode kicks off with Trixie Mattel drawing an amusing parallel between Timothée Chalamet and an alien, highlighting his distinctive presence in Hollywood.

• Trixie Mattel [00:00]: "Timothée could be a girl on a playground or an old lady, a shoe polisher... He could be anybody. But to me, it's like, what's our friend?"

2. Personal Travel Tales and Challenges

Both hosts share their recent travel experiences, including Trixie’s trip to Australia and Christine’s struggle with illness during a tour.

• Katya Zamolodchikova [03:36]: "I'm huge in Madison. It's a college town. Those guys are horny."

• Christine [07:07]: "Do you think he's attractive? Not at all. But they have to think I'm gay because I'm very interested in men."

• Christine [21:53]: "I felt so bad... Could I just kill myself? We are on the 25th floor."

3. Halloween Hijinks and Costume Disasters

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to recounting Halloween festivities, costume mishaps, and the chaotic yet hilarious interactions with family members.

• Trixie Mattel [19:15]: "Doing Halloween with the Boulay brothers is like doing Christmas with Jesus."

• Christine [57:03]: "Mama Val is riddled. She has lice."

4. Society's Quirks and Public Behavior

Trixie and Katya humorously critique various societal behaviors, including public indecency and the ineffectiveness of loyalty programs.

• Trixie Mattel [09:21]: "It's not idyllic. That's id. It was like jerking up in the car."

• Trixie Mattel [36:23]: "But you know what, we're gonna have to... doing porn is gonna have to be grassroots."

5. The Role of Therapy and Mental Health

Trixie opens up about the importance of therapy and self-gratitude, seamlessly integrating a promotional message for BetterHelp.

• Trixie Mattel [16:41]: "Being able to talk about these things out loud has really helped me put up some boundaries."

6. Costume Crafting and Family Dynamics

The hosts delve into the creative process behind their costumes, sharing stories about their mothers and sisters' Halloween transformations.

• Trixie Mattel [57:03]: "Mama Val is riddled. She has lice."

• Christine [59:03]: "I invented this shit. Mary."

7. Cinema Adventures and Movie Critiques

Discussions about movie-going experiences versus home viewing, with particular emphasis on horror films like "Terrifier."

• Trixie Mattel [49:46]: "They gasp and then they cheered and then they clapped... And there was almost a standing ovation."

8. Teasing Future Episodes and Guests

The episode concludes with teasers about upcoming guests, building anticipation for future content.

• Trixie Mattel [64:08]: "We have a great guest next week... one of my favorite people in the world."

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Notable Quotes:

• Trixie Mattel [05:00]: "Have you ever seen that clip? Yes, it's so fucking fierce."

• Christine [07:07]: "Do you think he's attractive? Not at all. But they have to think I'm gay because I'm very interested in men."

• Trixie Mattel [09:21]: "It's not idyllic. That's id. It was like jerking up in the car."

• Christine [16:41]: "Being able to talk about these things out loud has really helped me put up some boundaries."

• Trixie Mattel [36:23]: "But you know what, we're gonna have to... doing porn is gonna have to be grassroots."

• Christine [57:03]: "Mama Val is riddled. She has lice."

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Conclusion:

This episode of The Bald and the Beautiful masterfully blends humor, personal stories, and insightful commentary, all centered around the enigmatic charm of Timothée Chalamet. Trixie and Katya's dynamic interaction offers listeners a delightful mix of laughter and relatable experiences, making it an engaging listen for both longtime fans and newcomers alike. Their ability to navigate through varied topics with ease and authenticity underscores the podcast's appeal as a source of both entertainment and genuine conversation.

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For Those Who Haven't Listened: If you're new to The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya, this episode serves as a perfect introduction to their unique blend of humor, storytelling, and sharp social insights. Whether you're a fan of drag, love pop culture discussions, or simply enjoy candid and entertaining conversations, this episode promises a delightful experience that captures the essence of Trixie and Katya's fabulous lives in Tinseltown.

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Note: The timestamps provided are approximate and based on the transcript. Advertisements, intros, and outros have been excluded to focus solely on the content discussions.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

Today's episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by Lume Deodorant. It is a full body deodorant. And if you listen to this pod, you probably smell. I mean, I've met a lot of you at meet and greets. You know, we've passed each other in the theater. Some of you are seated in the front row and I can smell you. Some of you are sitting up in the balcony, and I can smell you. You know, you East Hollywood gaze. Let me tell you, the tea tree oil, it's not enough. You smell bad. And I love Lumi Dio because it's like no other, right? And drag. We're sweating, we're wearing w. Drag queens will tell you it's not enough to just dump perfume on yourself, all right? Perfume and cologne and deodorant are not the same thing. Lume was created by an obgyn who discovered BO is not just an underarm thing, it is an all over thing. So she developed a ph optimized deodorant that's clinically proven to block odor everywhere. Not just your pits, but your privates, your feet, and beyond. Some of you bitches got flaps, okay? And the flaps. Everything should smell good. The best part is, no matter where you use it, Lumi is provided to keep working for up to 72 hours. You guys, I work with Katia. I know about deodorant. Lumi's starter pack is perfect for new customers. It comes with a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, and two free products of your choice. Like you can get a mini body wash or like a deodorant wipe. Great for travel and free shipping. So all you new listeners, new customers, get 15% off all Lumi products with our exclusive code. And if you combine the 15% off with the already discounted starter pack, that's 40% off the starter pack. So use the code bald for 15% off your first [e-mail]. the code is bald@l u M E D E O D O R A N T dot com. Please support our program and tell them we sent you. I look forward to smelling you. Hi, it's me again, Christine. And you know that I love to keep my handbags pristine because I'm Christine. That's why I'm excited about cur. The ultimate solution for protecting and preserving your purse collection. We maintain our shoes and our cars, so why not our handbags? These are investments, and Keray helps them last a lifetime. Plus, if you ever want to resell, Keurig keeps your bags in top condition for maximum value. People always say to me, christine, how do you keep your bags so pristine? And I say, it's Keray. There's a limited supply available, so head to mycure.com to get your leather care kit today. That's mycure.com the best way to make your handbags last forever. Oh, hi, everybody. If you know me, you know I adore my handbags. And I love to say bag because you all know where I'm from, and that's how we say handbag. And I love to keep them looking nice. You guys in drag. I only have custom purses that kind of match my outfits or designer purses because, you know, at my height, that's the only designer women's items that I can really buy. Can't get shoes, can't get dresses, but I can get bags. In today's world, where over consumption is such a big issue, it's crucial to make things last as long as possible. There's a limited supply available, so head to mycure.com to get your leather kit today. That's MyCure. M y c u I-R-E.com the best way to make your handbag last forever. This episode is brought to you by United Airlines. When you want to make the most of your vacation, book with United. They're an airline that cares about your travels as much as you do. United is transforming the flying experience with Bluetooth, connectivity, screens, power at every seat, and bigger overhead bins to help fit everyone's bag. And with their app, you can skip the bag check line, get live updates and more. Change the way you fly. Book your next trip [e-mail] hi. Hi. The Bald and the Beautiful Live is coming to several fabulous cities. Why don't you tell them what they are?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Charlotte, St. Louis, Madison, Columbus.

[Christine]

All fine cities with beautiful people.

[Trixie Mattel]

And we even added a Madison city because Wisconsin, I guess, comes to progress. Not even. Yes, they're here for you.

[Christine]

That's true.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm huge in Madison.

[Trixie Mattel]

You are. It's a college town. Those guys are horny.

[Christine]

They're horny for this old snatch. So please come see us.

[Trixie Mattel]

If.

[Christine]

If we don't sell out, we'll be.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Horribly embarrassed and we might. We might wander into the forest and never come back.

[Trixie Mattel]

Please come, please come, please come.

[Christine]

It's fun. It's fun.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bring the kids, bring the. Bring the wives and the mistresses. We'll have a great time.

[Trixie Mattel]

We go on stage, we sit down.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

And that's about it.

[Christine]

We sometimes we cook a whole bunch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of hot dogs and we launch them in the crowd.

[Trixie Mattel]

Get your [e-mail]. boo. We're going to talk about a girl. You got something to say? Well, I want to hear about it, girl. Guess who's jealous of Adele?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What?

[Trixie Mattel]

Beyonce. Have you ever seen that clip?

[Christine]

Is that Wendy Williams?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. It's so fucking fierce.

[Christine]

Who's jealous of Adele?

[Trixie Mattel]

Who's jealous of Adele? And then there's a pause and she goes, Beyonce on the audience goes, oh, it's so crazy. I wish. I got to tell you, by the way, Kati and I are a fluff piece. We're not here to talk. We're not Rachel Maddow. No, we are much more handsome than I am.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Christine]

She knows the truth. We're little. We're neck pillows. Neck scented neck pillows.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is what I can offer you. This is what I can offer you. This is what I can offer you. Beyond. No. Guess who's jealous of Adele?

[Christine]

Beyonce. Like that whore is so fucking memeable.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you know what makes me feel grateful?

[Christine]

Jealous of Adele.

[Trixie Mattel]

And she's also unwrapping a piece of candy. So she's like, guess who's jealous of Adele.

[Christine]

I like how she hoards her intel. She like hoards her intel like, you're never gonna believe this. She's so fucking freaky.

[Trixie Mattel]

We're not talking about politics, but I did think of that clip of Wendy Williams. She goes, is this. No, this is the worst thing. And her Gigi goes, this is the worst thing.

[Christine]

Where is she talking about?

[Trixie Mattel]

Who knows? Who knows?

[Christine]

Well, Mary, I listened to the full radio show with Whitney Houston and Wendy Williams. Girl, it is like if you ever need a little pep in your step.

[Trixie Mattel]

Cause let me tell you, Wendy will or Wendy Houston. She has time. She has time. And Wendy Williams also has time. So together they have lot of time.

[Christine]

And they're like, boop boop. Thank you. Thank you very much. I mean, when Whitney is like, she is pouncing her every word. It's so cunty.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wendy McWilliams.

[Christine]

Wendy McWilliams.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know that I look wina gay.

[Christine]

Well, I. Between the high heel shoes.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's a boot. Is this high heel? Listen, say that to Timothy Chalamet.

[Christine]

Mama. You got those at. You got the nine west.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, this is what old French men wear. Straight men.

[Christine]

Oh yeah. They're very Serge Gainsbourg. But you need to smoke a ciggy.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not gonna do that. Did you see the Timothee Chalamet lookalike contest.

[Christine]

I sure did.

[Trixie Mattel]

What do you think's going on there?

[Christine]

I think they're just trying to look like him.

[Trixie Mattel]

What's great about that contest is men, women, children.

[Christine]

Anybody.

[Trixie Mattel]

Anybody has the potential, ages 3 to 300 to look like that paragon of alien hood.

[Christine]

I mean he's not that alien. He's just like. He could be a girl on a playground. He could be an old lady, a shoe polisher.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yep.

[Christine]

He could be a newsy. He could be the killer.

[Trixie Mattel]

The killer.

[Christine]

He could be anybody.

[Trixie Mattel]

He could be the killer.

[Christine]

Do you think he's attractive?

[Trixie Mattel]

Not at all. Okay. No, but they have to think I'm. I, I'm. I'm gay because I'm very interested in men.

[Christine]

Okay, so he's not a man to you?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, a very sort of soft. A softness that way. He's not like my thing.

[Christine]

He's teeny boppy.

[Trixie Mattel]

But do I think he's gorgeous like the Mona Lisa? Of course. It's like to me it's like, what's our friend? Our friend?

[Christine]

No, Mona Lisa.

[Trixie Mattel]

That blonde woman who is like a. She's like a model. She's in line. The Witch in the Wardrobe.

[Christine]

Tilda Swinton.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I think of him like a childly photogenic. Absolutely not necessarily spank bank material.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Christine]

I don't think a lot of people are double stroking it to Tilda. Maybe they are.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's early for a break. But let's take a break. It's early for a break because we can't follow up. Double stroke into Tilda. Wait, can I tell you. Did I tell you about that? What happened?

[Christine]

You didn't tell me nothing. You don't call me no more.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's like, shut up.

[Christine]

Just kidding.

[Trixie Mattel]

Fuck it. Bitch.

[Christine]

Guess who send me flowers.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's not true. You called me once in Australia once when you got back.

[Christine]

Yes, but in between. Mama. The Killer, the Terrifier, The Curse, The Grudge, the long kiss good night. The Mist, the. The Reckoning, the Evil Dead.

[Trixie Mattel]

How do you think I feel? I went to Boston. Fucking Boston.

[Christine]

But that's at least on this continent.

[Trixie Mattel]

T, Mama. T. Did I tell you I have a friend visiting here in Los Angeles and this person is gay. And just I think it's.

[Christine]

Isn't it act friend visiting people and they're gay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Guess who's jealous of the gays? The straights. So we are walking through West Hollywood and it is the rainbow crosswalk and I am like, look at us. Like gays from the country. Walking through West Hollywood and the rainbow crosswalk. Anything is possible. I think I am going to like it here. Isn't it crazy? Idyllic, even. Idyllic. And a car pulls up and I go, that's weird. One hand is holding a phone while driving. The other hand is not on the wheel, pants down, jerking it. Pulled over, public baiting, gooning livestream, jerking it.

[Christine]

That's not idyllic. That's id. It's not idyllic. It was like jerking up in the car. Is that a. Is that a violation?

[Trixie Mattel]

Because with gay guys, it's not enough to make porn jerk enough at home. You got to be at Kmart. You got to be at the dmv. You got to be. You got to be doing cookies.

[Christine]

You got to be like, getting stuff done.

[Trixie Mattel]

You got multitasking. You got to be fucking yourself at the crumble Cookie mama.

[Christine]

I don't get into that public.

[Trixie Mattel]

But. But you know what it is when the level of horism gets so high.

[Christine]

That two men, you get a one.

[Trixie Mattel]

Up laying with a man as you lay with a woman. Used to be. That used to be.

[Christine]

Used to be.

[Trixie Mattel]

It used to be. And now it's like, well, if I don't hook both my nipples up to the car battery in the target and my dad not watching at the target and I'm not live stream jerking off in front of people who have not consented to it at a drive in. Yeah.

[Christine]

Being projected to drive in. What about Peanut Mama the squirrel? She got euthanized.

[Trixie Mattel]

What are you talking about?

[Christine]

Listen to me when I tell you. I went on the Internet. I was so sick in Australia. I was so miserable. I went on the Internet one time and I learned about Peanut the squirrel. Seven years this guy had listened.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is this a famous. Is this like Mudang?

[Christine]

Yes. Oh, but she's fiercer than Mudang. This is new Dang.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is the new Dang.

[Christine]

That new this is that new.

[Trixie Mattel]

I got that new new Dang.

[Christine]

But it's also. It's also a sad dang because Peanut was you. So this dude, hot, sexy guy with a big fat ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, right.

[Christine]

Gay. Had a squirrel as a pet. Also he owns, like, a animal sanctuary of some kind.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know sober people.

[Christine]

Yeah, no, he doesn't, but he's gay, and so he owning a squirrel is.

[Trixie Mattel]

Either a crackhead thing to do or a sober person thing to do.

[Christine]

Fair. But he also had horses and I think maybe like ferrets and like lobsters. I don't know. He had a whole Bunch of. He had a whole bunch of stuff going on. A neighbor calls dec Department of Environmental. Cuckoo Ness or something. Whatever. They come inspect the home.

[Trixie Mattel]

They take the squirrel.

[Christine]

They take the squirrel. They euthanize her.

[Trixie Mattel]

Why?

[Christine]

She was an Internet celebrity. The woman claimed that he was exploiting Ms. Peanut. Ms. Peanut was a star. It was. Ms. Peanut was a Star. Ms. Peanut was a gorgeous star that would, like, hop on his big old butt.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I say that I think that the squirrels living in Los Angeles outside have a worse life? Absolutely, Ms. Peanut.

[Christine]

Peanut was living large in Manhattan. Okay. Peanut took Manhattan.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, that's actually very apropos to what occurred to me. When I was in Boston, you euthanized some squirrels. So in Boston, you guys got this stuff. I was over by Wang Theater.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

So just a couple blocks from there is Boston Common. Yes. So I went for my little morning walk.

[Christine]

Did you go to the garden? It's right adjacent to it.

[Trixie Mattel]

The flowers, things were growing, but I think it was just grass and trees. Okay. And then I went to an area that's all these old, jagged, old cemetery thin, thin headstones, you know, from, like the 1700s.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know exactly what you're talking about.

[Trixie Mattel]

This. The cemeteries over there are really crazy beautiful. And the squirrels there were not afraid of people. Came right up. Mateo's going like this. I go, yeah. He's going, I'm gonna. You don't have any food. What are you gonna feed him? Your skin. Your skin and bone? What did he do, sniff the hand and left? This girl was like, unless you got food, read it.

[Christine]

Rodents are not pressed when it comes to human affairs. No, the opossums and possums, I have no idea which is which in my backyard. They will come up, they will, like, read me. They'll just stare right at me. Like 9:00, 10:00 at night. Stare at me. I'll like, try to shush them away. They're like, I swear to God, like, it's cunty.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you remember the owl in your backyard?

[Christine]

Do I remember? Yeah. Hoot. Clear T. I mean, it's like, hoot. Who is crazy? But these.

[Trixie Mattel]

Very boring.

[Christine]

But these. They were a couple of them. I think they're possums. I don't know. What is the difference between a possum?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, you have a possum and then you have. Oh, possum. I think that's, like the main. But I'm not a zoologist.

[Christine]

Okay. They were right. They were right on the fence, and then they were looking at me and I felt I was like intruding on their sexual like I was intruding on their personal life, even though it's on my property.

[Trixie Mattel]

They were the one jerking off in the car.

[Christine]

Nimby. Not in my backyard.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought there was a new form of envy. I really thought I was like, y'all are doing too much. Y'all are not.

[Christine]

We got public masturbation with girls and boys and a girl. Not in my backyard.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but it isn't. It's happening.

[Christine]

It's happening. And there's nothing I can do about it because what, the only option is for me to like, physically throw them off the fence.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Let's talk about passion. Life is a vast empty shell without it. Some of us find passion in the bedroom with the hot barista named Cosmo from the coffee shop down the street, while others find passion in fridge scaping where one elevates the status of their weekly grocery haul to museum worthy levels by decorating the inside of their fridge with elements like flowers, antiques, pictures and fairy lights. I myself have started a new website called www.katya has entirely too much free time to the point of putting pictures of her great grandmother next to her eggs in the fridge like an idiot.org so I ask you this dear listeners, what is your passion? And don't you think that the entire world needs to learn about it from your very own website? Now is the time to sign up for an account at Squarespace. What is Squarespace? You may be asking yourself. Well, Squarespace is the industry leading tool where you can use their fluid engine to easily make websites for pretty much anything, including how to drape fresh ivy and pink roses over your family sized tub of hummus. And if you want to launch your website with an entire line of merch depicting your latest fridge gaping project where you decorated your friend's fridge who is a massive Lord of the Rings fan. Like the elven kingdom of Lothlorien, Boom. Squarespace has your back. Squarespace has a massive portfolio of product features for whatever website you're looking to launch. And after you've launched, let's say you need help with marketing. While Squarespace has so many features to help drive sales and engage your audience with creative email campaigns that you'll be bringing your fridge gaping ideas to the world in no time. And if you have some extra knowledge that you think you can turn into some extra cash, say some detailed information about what color palette to use in a 1920s Spanish colonial fridge. Squarespace can help you post online courses. That's right. Squarespace has all of the tools you need to create and sell your very own course and even set it up to be a one time payment and or subscription. You can even make checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools. The site can accept credit cards, PayPal and Apple Pay and offer customers the option to buy now and pay later with Afterpay and Clearpay. So go ahead and check out squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, go to squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's squarespace.com bald to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain Today's episode of the Bald.

[Trixie Mattel]

And the Beautiful is brought to you by our friends at BetterHelp. I would like to take a moment to say thank you to someone in my life. I'm going to say thank you to my mother for never ever, ever taking the opportunity to make me feel too good about myself and always keeping me humble. It's a very grounding experience being your son daughter and I know that you will continue to deliver on that front until the day you die. No, I am just kidding. I am a big fan of my mom and as we have gotten older we have gotten to be like, you know, when you get older you start to become actual friends with your mom and she, and I think I consider her a close friend and I feel like so grateful for that type of friendship now and it is great. Love you Val. Love you Val. But I will read you so this month is all about gratitude and along with the person I just shouted out, there is another person we do not think enough and it is ourselves. I mean sometimes it is hard to remind ourselves we are trying to make the sense of everything in this crazy world that honestly only seems to get crazier. You know, it's not all easy and this is just a reminder to send yourself some thanks in addition to other people in your life. But don't forget yourself. You know, I've benefited from talk therapy by being able to sometimes say it all out and put it all out there. And then when I see someone else's face or someone else's reaction to something, I'm like, wow, this isn't as complicated as I thought or I'm not as much at fault as I thought or you know, I have a tendency to feel very guilty and very like everything's my fault and, you know, other people's behavior isn't something I can really control. And so being able to talk about these things out loud has really helped me put up some boundaries of like, girl, go home, relax. It's not all your fault, you know, you can't control other people. Sometimes it just helps to learn positive coping skills and set boundaries because it really empowers you to become the best version of yourself. You know, it isn't just for those who've experienced like major trauma or going through a hard time or whatever. I mean, it is helpful to have talked their therapy during things like, you know, maybe sudden unemployment or losing a family member or whatever. But sometimes it's just great to fortify yourself and recognize your strengths and just become a lookout for your own, like knee jerk weaknesses. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try. It's online, it's convenient, flexible, suited to your own schedule. You just fill out a brief questionnaire to be matched with a therapist of your choice. And you can change any therapist at any time for any reason. Maybe you just don't like their bangs and then you're adding trauma. You know, let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com bald today and get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com bawd I had an experience. I went to Boston for Halloween, which you love. It's the best place, it's the best time.

[Christine]

Halloween.

[Trixie Mattel]

I always do Halloween in Boston at the Royal Theater. Some of you are probably there with the boulets. And I always say doing Halloween with the Boulay brothers is like doing Christmas with Jesus. But they're real.

[Christine]

Okay, Christmas with Santa Claus.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no. Jesus. Let's not forget the reason for the season. Guess who's jealous of Santa Claus? Jesus. Mama.

[Christine]

Wait, I got a good one for you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Guess who's jealous. Guess who's jealous of Peanut. Mud.

[Christine]

No. Peanut is so sad. Isn't that sad?

[Trixie Mattel]

It is actually really wrong.

[Christine]

I watched the video and he was crying.

[Trixie Mattel]

I absolutely.

[Christine]

The hot man was crying with that big butt.

[Trixie Mattel]

My heart goes. We don't know your name, but my heart goes out to you. I think. I think a squirrel would be a demanding pet.

[Christine]

You know, Mama, she was just, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

[Trixie Mattel]

Doing her own thing, right?

[Christine]

Doing her own thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

But they have instincts that, like, aren't. Let's say rodents have instincts that aren't necessarily privy to, like, a clean home. Sure, but so owning it Was probably a lot of upkeep.

[Christine]

But like, bunnies are worse. They chew through everything.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah. I mean, it's probably tough, you know.

[Christine]

Is the bunny a rabbit? I mean, is the bunny of rodent? Is bunny a rodent?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, Bunny rabbit. Not a bad drag name.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bunny Rabbit.

[Christine]

Bunny rabbit. Wait, is there, Is it a rodent? What? Is it just a man?

[Trixie Mattel]

Just.

[Christine]

No, it's.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's just a mammal.

[Christine]

So. Mary, I'm sorry, I'm. I'm still sick. I flew to Australia, sick as a dog. I canceled. I called out of the show. Oh God, it was horrible. I don't want to like be. Oh, but it was horrible.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you have to do the flight to Sydney and then the five hour to Perth?

[Christine]

We landed in Perth. I slept all day. I literally got off the plane, slept all day, next day.

[Trixie Mattel]

What were the symptoms?

[Christine]

It was like fluish bad cold, like blowing the snot every 90 seconds.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, wow.

[Christine]

Like a big, like nasty, like sore throat, cough, whatever. Just like horrible. I start to do my makeup and then I start crying. I start crying, Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was like, there's no crying.

[Christine]

I know, I know. I was like, I don't think I can. I was like, I started to panic because I was like so ill in this show. Was like from 6 to 11.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mama, what can I say? I'm not going to complain about our career at all. But when you're actually sick, not only do you feel awful, you feel so bad for canceling on people who probably bought tickets a year ago.

[Christine]

I felt so bad.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I was like, should I just kill myself? We are on the 25th floor. You know, I was like. So they let me like not do the show. But get this call time the next day after the show. 3:30 in the lobby, am five hour flight to Sydney. No food, no entertainment. No food, no entertainment, no screens, no snacks. No screens, no snacks, nothing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sometimes in Australia you got to make them get you. Qatar, that first class. Qatar Airlines.

[Christine]

Qatar.

[Trixie Mattel]

Q, A, T, A, R. Like Qatar.

[Christine]

Oh, like the Emirates. I. I needed somebody. I needed like James Earl Jones to like swaddle me.

[Trixie Mattel]

You needed a supportive referral.

[Christine]

I needed supportive transfer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I say I love. I love horrible. I just want to say Trixie and Katya llc, we know that it's a gift and a privilege to be able to be paid, to travel the world, to connect with your fans across all different languages. Australian.

[Christine]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

What are they saying? We don't know.

[Christine]

Well, Fina accurately described it as the UK with palm trees. Bonk, bonk.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know how he feels about the uk because obviously everything in America is incredible.

[Christine]

Incredible. Show stopping, perfect, couldn't be improved. Nothing wrong, nothing going on here that we don't like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Guess who's jealous of Australia?

[Christine]

America. But wait. Worse than calling night sick. Worse than traveling sick. The killer. I. Speaking of the killer, what's worse than the killer in Australia? A margherita pizza, baby.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mama, no, no, no, sweetie, we can't talk about the food in Australia.

[Christine]

No, no, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

Alienating a lot of people.

[Christine]

No, no, no. It's just the pizza.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not just the pizza.

[Christine]

Well, but I, I only. I ordered a pizza in my very. I was so desperate. I was so haggard. I was so. I was fat, nasty, broke, career in shambles. At my lowest. Yeah, I came into that hotel room hungry as hell and I ordered. This was a five star hotel. I was like, surely the pizza is going to be popping.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is it Perth?

[Christine]

It was Sydney. Okay, the something. It was a very nice hotel, right, Mama? When that pizza came up, I smelled and I was like, that ain't pizza. I took a bite and I said, that's hell. That's the devil from hell. Come up in a pizza form.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you had nachos there?

[Christine]

I don't do cheese.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I say this is the thing. The further you get away from America, the game of. The actual game of telephone of how to make that dish, it becomes a he said, she said.

[Christine]

What pizza is three ingredients though.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I know.

[Christine]

Bread, sauce, cheese.

[Trixie Mattel]

Have you don't even like the cheese.

[Christine]

The cheese. Mozzarella is the only kind of cheese I really fuck with because this ain't no mozzarella. This is some dark sided fucking. This is some nasty, devilish, demonic shit. The sauce was like out of a dented can of tomato sauce or tomato soup that was like frozen and then the bread was like bubble gum.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Christine]

It was fucking. It was so gross and horrible. They've never been to Rome, they've never been to Italy.

[Trixie Mattel]

But pizza as we know it, like Americanized pizza, like that's what we know.

[Christine]

But we know Greek and New York, Greek and Italian.

[Trixie Mattel]

When I go to Australia, I just want to say I love everyone, but I will be eating at places like. Such as Subway. Yeah, like, such as McDonald. Like, such as Starbuck, you know, Try.

[Christine]

To find a Starbuck, mama.

[Trixie Mattel]

I just mean like the, the local, the great chains, the greats.

[Christine]

You know what you're gonna get?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. Someday if I get married at the wedding, we will have Jimmy John's Noodles and Company. Panera and Taco Bell. And at midnight when we're all drunk, we're getting Sonic and we're getting Auntie Ants. Pretzels.

[Christine]

What about Wetzels as a, like, a little bonus.

[Unknown]

Wetzel, baby.

[Trixie Mattel]

Faggot. Let me tell you something.

[Christine]

I am wet for wet souls.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wet and souls.

[Christine]

Yeah, I was.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was in D.C. for a wedding. I was in D. I have so much to tell you. Where were you? I was in D.C. for a family wedding.

[Christine]

Last four days. You were in six cities.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, and I asked Brandon to book me the hotel. Brandon, you in here? He'll never watch this. Okay, so because of working with you, I think Brandon thinks that I care for nice hotels.

[Christine]

Which you should.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, baby. Put me at the Super 8 and leave me alone. Put me at the Best Western and.

[Christine]

Pretend Airbnb, no key. Don't matter, don't matter.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'll climb in the back window. Brandon puts me at the Ritz Carlton at the Pentagon Mall. The Fashion Center. The Ritz Carlton. I go up there and I realize this isn't a work trip. I have to pay for the hotel.

[Christine]

Oh, that's a different story, Mama. That's the different story. That's. We phone a friend, girl for three nights.

[Trixie Mattel]

$2,300.

[Christine]

I believe it's.

[Trixie Mattel]

I said, but you know, there's got to be more to this than free apples in the lobby.

[Christine]

What? The Ritz, baby.

[Trixie Mattel]

What I liked about it was, it was connected to the Pentagon Fashion Center Mall, which all weekend the people at the wedding were like, oh, my God, why? They're treating me like I was a refugee. I'm like, it's the Ritz Carlton.

[Christine]

Wait, they say, oh, my God.

[Trixie Mattel]

Why? Why were you at the mall? They're like. They're like, you know they have Snatch and Grabs there. I'm like, yeah, they do it every mall.

[Christine]

You don't have poor people. They have dirt on the ground.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. I don't think. I don't think rich people know about malls, Mama.

[Christine]

No. At the Ritz, it's connected to everything. It's not just the mall. It's Carlton Heaven, Paradise, Curves, Satisfaction.

[Trixie Mattel]

All I need is Auntie Anne's and Curves.

[Christine]

Curves. Oh, for women.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Well, I used to go to Planet Fitness, but there wasn't enough spaces for.

[Christine]

A woman for those roomy hips.

[Trixie Mattel]

Ding dong, the pizza's here.

[Christine]

What did you do? I think it's my Taco Bell.

[Trixie Mattel]

Shut the fuck up.

[Christine]

Mama. I want to talk to you about this nasty food. Okay, I'm not done.

[Trixie Mattel]

I got to finish my story. So I'm in Washington, D.C. the Auntie Ann's Pretzels has a new item that you gotta know about.

[Christine]

Is this sweet or savory?

[Trixie Mattel]

Savory.

[Christine]

Oh, I don't know. Is it cheesy?

[Trixie Mattel]

You don't like the pretzel? Oh, you're not gonna like it. See, that's okay. You kids at home. It's a cup with a platter around the top of the cup of the pretzel nuggets with a dingle dangle of the cheese sauce. So you hold the cup, and on the top of the cup, it's the straw poking through with pretzels all around it.

[Christine]

We got ergonomic, helpful, useful, delicious, convenient.

[Trixie Mattel]

Very gorgeous.

[Christine]

I love Mary. I had three Auntie Anne's in a row.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

When I was in Chicago or it was in a mall. It was in a fucking airport somewhere. I was like, oh, okay, I'll take 12,000 calories, please.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

And it would. Every bite.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's horny.

[Christine]

Was delicious. It was horny from start to finish.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Edging with pretzels.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I didn't know anybody. I've never had a plus one dual wedding. And you have so much freedom that these people don't know me and they'll never see me again.

[Christine]

Did you cut a rug on the dance floor?

[Trixie Mattel]

But there was no dancing. It was like Footloose. There was no dancing, but I still walked in like.

[Christine]

You're like, play. What do you play at a wedding?

[Trixie Mattel]

I think the traditional songs are Missy Elliot, lose Control.

[Christine]

No dancing at a wedding.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it was. It was a reception thing.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

So it was. It was really nice and lovely. But what occurred? Super hungover. So then I go to the mall to get food. When you're hungover, your hotel being attached to a food. Is everything okay over there? The unwrapping of the food items.

[Christine]

Louder. Barbara.

[Trixie Mattel]

So hungover that the. Wake up and you're attached to a food court.

[Christine]

Oh, it's like an iv IV drip right there.

[Trixie Mattel]

I ordered a liquid IV and they said they couldn't get me a nurse. So I got the second best thing.

[Christine]

Auntie Ann's.

[Trixie Mattel]

Guess who's jealous of liquid iv.

[Christine]

Subway.

[Trixie Mattel]

Eat fresh. It was so helpful. And I got the Auntie Ann's pretzel with the. The sweet, sweet, tangy lemonade with pretzel cheese nuggets. It brought me from the. The tomb.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

To the hospital bed.

[Christine]

To the. To the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because I had to go to another wedding function that night. So it was like I had to.

[Christine]

Put on a suit. I need pictures. Men's suit or women's suit?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't believe in women in a suit. Not at all, not at all, not at all. Who's jealous of Guess who's jealous of women's suits? Dresses?

[Christine]

I think we've unlocked a new thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This episode is brought to you by your savior this holiday season. Etsy Good morrow bald and beautiful listeners. It is now November and it is the perfect time to not only start but to finish your holiday shopping. Imagine being completely done by Thanksgiving and enjoying that succulent turkey or plant based alternative while thinking about the amazing holiday gifting reactions you're going to see this year. If you're like me when I travel back east to see my family, you not only give gifts as part of the regular holiday tradition, you give them because you can't wait to hear your family members cries of pure delight, see them shed happy tears, and watch them sing improvised songs about how amazing you are as both a human and a gift giver. Well, to get reactions like those, you need to make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, handpicked and wonderfully designed gifts from small shops on Etsy. Etsy makes it so simple to find original items that will make whoever you're shopping for feel like royalty. I browse the Shops on Etsy nonstop from Halloween all the way to Christmas Eve. There are people in my life, such as a very famous drag queen who hosts an award winning podcast with her much funnier and much more talented co host who is ridiculously difficult to shop for as the cliche goes. What do you get the person who already has everything? Well, just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, you can shop Etsy this holiday season for personalized jewelry that will astound that aforementioned drag queen who needs to corrupt their lack of talent with shiny objects and sparkling accessories. But that's not all, people. You can also find custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite people in their specific kind of special. In all seriousness, I would be lost without Etsy during the holiday season if I have no idea what to get someone. Browsing Etsy for just a few minutes will inevitably turn up an amazing gift that I never would have conceived of. So this holiday season, start all your gift giving [e-mail] or download the Etsy app for original gifts that say I get you. Etsy has it. This episode is sponsored by zocdoc. Are you one of those people who throws caution to the wind and tries literally anything without any reservations. Well, that is what I delivered my recent TED talk about on stage in San Jose, California. I told an auditorium full of nuclear engineers to stop living life to such exacting standards and instead embrace the chaos to just let things happen as they may. That coolant tower doesn't seem tall enough to properly remove heat from the water in the reactor. Meh. I'm sure it's fine. Is your moderator not decreasing the speed of the neutrons fast enough to control the chain reactions? I say turn the thing on and we'll figure out as a team. Am I right? But outside of industries like nuclear power that welcome chaos, there is one area of life where crapshoots are not allowed. And that, my friends, is healthcare. Finding the right doctor shouldn't be a total crapshoot. That's where Zocdoc comes in. Zocdoc is the gold standard for providing a place where you can find and book doctors who specialize in the specific field of medicine you need, whether that be foot, feces or brain related. You can even filter for doctors who take your specific insurance who are located close to your home. If you're like me and hate driving across LA in rush hour traffic, and most importantly who are highly rated by real life verified patients, you can also see their real time appointment openings. Choose a time that works for you and with just a few clicks you can instantly book a visit. Zocdoc appointments also happen quickly, sometimes within just 24 to 72 hours of booking. Additionally, there are times when you can even score same day appointments. The best part though ZocDoc is free to use, you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. With Zocdoc you've got more options than you know. I love Zocdoc because I have soft tooth syndrome. At a wedding this past weekend I mistakenly ate a Jordan almond. I now desperately need an oral surgeon to replace 70% of the teeth in my mouth. I want to see verified reviews by actual patients and I want to see them quickly and easily. Zocdoc helps me find the best doctor in my area and book them fast. If I can find a great doctor, so can you. And all because of Zocdoc. So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to Zocdoc.com bald to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today. That's Z O c d o c.com bald zocdoc.com bald hi, it's me, a little girl.

[Unknown]

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[Trixie Mattel]

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[Christine]

Margherita Pizza.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Jail. Prison. Death penalty. Correctional facility, Death row. No solitary confinement, Shackles. Punishment.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Christine]

Torture.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because it's not the parallel parking of food.

[Christine]

It's this one item that is so egregiously miscast in the musical of food.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Christine]

It's like hello Dolly. But it's hello Boo Boo. It's like, no, it has to be Dolly. It can't be Boo Boo. It's not, you know What I mean.

[Trixie Mattel]

Tea is Domino's sets a standard.

[Christine]

It's low. That's low. Domino's is the bottom of the barrel.

[Trixie Mattel]

But that's what I mean. And it's still good. It's still slow.

[Christine]

Edible.

[Trixie Mattel]

So if you can't do at least what the girls at Domino are doing. Do cupcakes. Do cupcakes. Do, like, do skinny girl classic cupcakes.

[Christine]

Like garlic and chive.

[Trixie Mattel]

Broccoli. Yeah, anything.

[Christine]

Salad.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do chili or noodles or noodles. Do chili with noodles. I just feel.

[Christine]

It just really betrayed me. I felt completely betrayed.

[Trixie Mattel]

I felt betrayed, too, because I've been really going off on rewards programs for food.

[Christine]

What does that mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, if you go somewhere and they have a program where you scan my barcode and eventually I get a free sandwich, I'm both nuts. Up the in. I'm in.

[Christine]

Does that. Is the sandwich taste better?

[Trixie Mattel]

It tastes better. Knowing that at some point I'm gonna scan my barcode and they're gonna go, Your limousine's outside, Mr. Purpose.

[Christine]

You know, the red carpet rolls out.

[Trixie Mattel]

Entirely at your 10th sub, a ladder drops down and they helicopter. You're out of here.

[Christine]

Like, Meanwhile, you fly 1 million miles on Delta and where did they give you? A sticker? No. A cupcake.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nothing.

[Christine]

Pizza. No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nothing, Nothing, Nothing.

[Christine]

They embarrass you on the flight, on your. Before you deplane, the nerve of them.

[Trixie Mattel]

To say, congratulations for being a million miler. And you go, thank you.

[Christine]

Or both hands.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because a million. No.

[Christine]

Oh, no, no, no. We're not going to do anything or give you anything or you won't enjoy any perks at all for being so loyal.

[Trixie Mattel]

Mama, if that's what you get at Delta, at Spirit, for a million miles, they must just shoot you.

[Christine]

I think they just, like, punch you real hard in the groin.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, forced. It's a forced scenario. They do keyword force, by the way. Enjoy porn. Enjoy porn.

[Christine]

What?

[Trixie Mattel]

Enjoy porn. Because, you know, they're trying that project 25. They're trying to eliminate the access to pornography.

[Christine]

Well, you know, honey, you better enjoy porn, mama.

[Trixie Mattel]

You can go back to jerking off.

[Christine]

You know what's going to happen when I learn how to use my computer and wield its power? I will disseminate all the pornography that I have saved on my 2 terabyte.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hard drive computer and send it to me.

[Christine]

Honey, I got gay, straight, bi, Donna, Pat. I literally got every porno in the world. So if the porno thing goes bust, I got Bring it up the rear.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know what I've been. I'm gonna have to go grassroots with porn. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. And you know what else I think is gonna happen? I think that drag is gonna be considered porn. And I think state by state, you won't have access to like a YouTube video of us doing this. I think it'll be blocked for content.

[Christine]

We'll have to go back to vhs.

[Trixie Mattel]

We're gonna have to. If we have to do a club where we send people beta tapes of this show, I will.

[Christine]

Oh, mama. Mail order VHS. We'll, we'll go back to basics.

[Trixie Mattel]

Rewards program. After 12 beta tapes, we give you a beta tape VCR so you can watch them. This going to be huge.

[Christine]

Platinum members get a DVD and a DVD player.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Super delta Million milers get a Blu ray.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Christine]

And then a papyrus. Scrolls.

[Trixie Mattel]

Scrolls. Scroll.

[Christine]

Oh my God, Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think with porn, what I'm going to do is I'm going have to go very grassroots with it. I'm going to have to do grassroots with porn. Follow me. So it's going to be, you know, I'm going to be outside sort of a sendex grocery store with a clipboard, like, do you have a second for the environment? And they're going to go, yeah, what's up? And I go, I'm just kidding. I don't need porn. Can you just go jerk off over there so I can just view that? And then, and then the charity is.

[Christine]

Called I need a Nut real quick. So can you help me with that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. You know, we're all gonna have to go back to ugly people we don't like.

[Christine]

Good news for me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Been there. Yeah. And I think also what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna get sort of a scraggly kind of like a perm wig and I'm gonna get like a little mustache and glasses and I'm gonna start doing porn of myself. And then later, when I'm not in that outfit, I'm gonna watch, I'm gonna turn on the video and I'm gonna say, who's that hot porno actor, erotic man doing that stuff with their body.

[Christine]

You know, that's exactly what I say when I watch porn. Sometimes I, I forget to jerk off. I'm like, oh, who are those sexy bodies doing that sexual sex with each other?

[Trixie Mattel]

We have a friend named Matthew. We'll call him Matthew.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you know about the porn he watches?

[Christine]

No. I mean, I'm sure I watch it because I watch everything. Every single porn is a jerk off instruction.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wish.

[Christine]

Oh, God.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like A medical exam where no boners happen. And they're just like, and how's your diet? Are you sleeping? And after 45 minutes, he's like, all right, stop by the desk to pay your bill and leave. Nothing happens. Or it's a massage where nothing sex happens.

[Christine]

The cum shot is the insurance fill out form for like the rescheduling, the other appointment, Blue Shield.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then. Or, or it's a guy, naked, hiking, no sex, no boners.

[Christine]

At least the nudity is something.

[Trixie Mattel]

But it's not even like the focus. It's just you maybe see the dick once and it doesn't get hard.

[Christine]

He needs to really live a little.

[Trixie Mattel]

And you think drag is porn? Honey, to me, that's not porn.

[Christine]

I have some hot. I've got some large files that he might be interested in perusing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thank you. But you should censor it for him because apparently he doesn't want to see everything.

[Christine]

Well, he's in for a treat because he's going to see a pussy the size of the Empire State Building squirting like a Grand Canyon.

[Trixie Mattel]

But for him, when porn gets banned, he's gonna be like, I don't even. I've been training for this my whole life. He.

[Christine]

He opens the newspaper to the comic section, he starts jerking off.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. But I think that when he probably actually has sex, he gets. Because the porn he watches, he gets naked and he's like, Azealia Banks. He goes like, so what now? Like, what more is there other than dungarees? Dungarees and headbands.

[Christine]

Medical questionnaires.

[Trixie Mattel]

Medical questionnaires.

[Christine]

History, family history.

[Trixie Mattel]

No kidding. I'm gonna go get my analysis. Pap smear on video and then jerk off.

[Christine]

I'm thinking about changing PCPs. Do you have a PCP currently?

[Trixie Mattel]

I gave up PCP because I left that gang.

[Christine]

I don't have one and I don't want to get one.

[Trixie Mattel]

You think you don't like one medical?

[Christine]

I know I have, like, I have two therapists and a psychiatrist, so I feel like I'm doctored up. But they don't do anything about the physical health. I see what they mean.

[Trixie Mattel]

I am on leave from therapy.

[Christine]

You're on leave?

[Trixie Mattel]

I was dismissed. I'm cured. Everything's fine.

[Christine]

They fired you?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, I was feeling really good and happy and then I got busy when I started working again. And then I was like, I think I'm just gonna, like, enjoy your life. Yeah. Is that okay to just, you know, do you feel.

[Christine]

You know, sometimes people feel like. Because I'm Watching this amazing show about therapy called shrinking. They feel like when they're, you know, they have nothing more to talk about, they become friends with their therapist, and it has to transition into like a. You know, sex. You know, like, you. Like. You realize that. Oh, I don't have any problems. I just love talking to my therapist. Why am I paying that person?

[Trixie Mattel]

I know what I mean. And I like talking about myself too much, so.

[Christine]

Really?

[Trixie Mattel]

Obviously. What are we doing?

[Christine]

I was kidding.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I got to tell you something crazy that happened.

[Christine]

Okay, tell me.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're not going to believe this. I almost told you on the phone. I was on this plane and I was in seat 1A, right? Which is like one of the worst seats. The bulkhead.

[Christine]

I hate it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hate the bulkhead.

[Christine]

You got to put your up top. Can't watch your porn.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can't watch your, you know, you got to take off your devil ears. Whatever. Oh, by the way, for Halloween, Mateo was flying with a scream mask, and they made him take it out of his car and throw it away. You can't bring a mask on a plane. Isn't that wild? Mama and Derek Barry. Her Britney knives got taken away.

[Christine]

Well, that makes sense. Knives are weapons that you could kill somebody with. A mask is a piece of fabric from a movie.

[Trixie Mattel]

But if Derek Berry wanted to kill someone. She has two boyfriends.

[Christine]

I know.

[Trixie Mattel]

She got options. You got a backup. You know what I mean? Like, she has someone to kill at home. Right.

[Christine]

She does her killing at home.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. She could do her killing at home.

[Christine]

I'll do my killing at home things.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. So I get on this plane. It's like 1B or whatever. And, you know, when you get on a plane, there's the boarding door that you get on.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

There's a door to the cockpit. There's a bathroom. And often there's a curtain or a galley weight with another door. For the glory hole. No.

[Christine]

Oh, yeah. For the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Behind the. For the flight attendants do their cooking. Love that you call it that. Cooking.

[Christine]

They're cu. The. The Cuisine Air.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Anthony Bourdain Airlines over on Spirit. They got.

[Christine]

They have the flambe, the. The. The.

[Trixie Mattel]

The open flame grill, the hibachi throwing the egg in the air.

[Christine]

Okay, go ahead.

[Trixie Mattel]

You said cooking.

[Christine]

I mean, they do. It smells. If I smell. If I smell food, it's cooking. That's. That's how I see it. It's like somebody's cooking. Anyways. Go ahead. Shut the fuck up.

[Trixie Mattel]

Somebody's cooking.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you fart someone's cooking?

[Christine]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

So you know, when you get on the plane, there's the door you came out on the cockpit, the bathroom door. And beyond the galley of the Dollar. No, beyond the galley for the flight attendants. There's that other door that they use to bring the food on.

[Christine]

Yes, yes, yes. You know, so there's two dogs.

[Trixie Mattel]

So this woman walks up to the front of the plane and she's like a Gwyneth Paltrow type. Like, long hair, kind of like organic. Organic.

[Christine]

Brushed linens.

[Trixie Mattel]

Brushed linens? Yeah, a cable knit sweater. You know, men's glasses.

[Christine]

Put jade egg up at the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Jade egg up the pussy and the back. Right. But I'll do you one better. Jade pussy with just a normal egg up there.

[Christine]

Jade pussy with a candle up the ass.

[Trixie Mattel]

Great drag name. Jade egg up the. I want to become the goop.

[Christine]

It's jade egg. And then she got married to Robert up the pussy. She wanted to keep her maiden name.

[Trixie Mattel]

When I become like an on air terrorist, what I'm gonna do is remember.

[Christine]

That guy who said, fucking on air terrorist.

[Trixie Mattel]

You run on camera and like disrupt a news stream.

[Christine]

Just say disturber.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, they used to say. They used to say, you know her. I'm going to run in, dress as G, pal. I'm going to go jade egg right up the. And then run away. Would that be C? Yes, literally, it would be C. C. So this woman, she walks up to the front and I'm in 1B, you know, and there's no film to watch when you're in 1B because it's just the wall.

[Christine]

You had a wall?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

You could put your foot on the wall. That's about as exciting as it gets.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's about it. You used to be able to do this thing on planes where you'd be. We'd be in a, you know, on.

[Christine]

The plane, legs over like a pretzel.

[Trixie Mattel]

And she would take both legs and hug them to the chest while flying with the feet straight up in the air.

[Christine]

It feels so good. It's a must.

[Trixie Mattel]

I could do that.

[Christine]

It's a must. Yeah. Quick sidebar. Two instances of barefoot on the Plane. Okay, mama, what's going on there? What's the. What's the neurosis? What's the psychology?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's the Barefoot Contessa.

[Christine]

It. It was also. They're not shy about it. You know what I mean? They're not hiding their. Their little tootsies.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, they're spreading the toe.

[Christine]

They're doing foot modeling.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're doing. They're taking the condiments. From the meal. Painting the walls like a cave person.

[Christine]

They have. They have scrub. Scrub sandals with a toe mood ring.

[Trixie Mattel]

A toe mood ring. They're painting the nails.

[Christine]

They have rings on each toe.

[Trixie Mattel]

On each toe, yes. And they say Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, you know, in a chain.

[Christine]

To anklet.

[Trixie Mattel]

An anklet.

[Christine]

No, it's disgusting. Put your socks on. Put your shoes on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because I hate the feeling of shoes on the plane. I wear a sock with a.

[Christine]

Or a slide.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Heavy soccer. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

So you feel barefoot. But you don't have to expose everyone.

[Christine]

To your disgusting, horrible, ugly feet.

[Trixie Mattel]

That wouldn't happen to me anyway because my feet are gorgeous.

[Christine]

Gorgeous mine. They're gorgeous. Hobbit, right? It's giving. Hobbit. It's giving horror. So what did Gwyneth Paltrow do?

[Trixie Mattel]

So imagine I'm in 1B and I'm just observing. There's no flight attendant. There's no babysitter. Right. The flight attendants are in the back playing Nintendo Switch. I don't know what they're doing. This woman walks up and she looks at all the doors and she's obviously going to the bathroom. And she goes, where do I go? And she grabs the door. That's the one. To the plane. While we're in the air, she grabs the handle to the door and tries to open it. She almost touches it. And I go, don't do that, Gwyneth. What brand of person are you that you walk up to the front and there's the door you came into the plane on While we're in the sky, Mom.

[Christine]

It's all the minerals going up through the pussy and the brain.

[Trixie Mattel]

The jade. Then there's the bathroom, the cockpit. You could have accidentally grabbed the cockpit door. You could have accidentally. But clearly, it's the bathroom.

[Christine]

It's like, which one you want to fuck? You got hot, man. Hot woman. A tumbleweed, right? She goes straight for the tumbleweed.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm in 1A. And this is a Boeing.

[Christine]

So, you know, are you in 1A or 1B?

[Trixie Mattel]

1B.

[Christine]

1B.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sorry. No, I'm 1A. I want A. You're right. You're right. And this is a Boeing. So if that door opens up, you know, me and the rest of the kids, the shirts are coming right off.

[Christine]

It's child pornography.

[Trixie Mattel]

Immediately. Everyone under the age of 18 is completely nude.

[Christine]

Everybody's incriminated.

[Trixie Mattel]

Everybody.

[Christine]

Straight to jail.

[Trixie Mattel]

Straight to jail. And the fact that she goes, where do I go? The Pedo plane. The Pedo plane. The Pedo Boeing. The Pedo. Boeing.

[Christine]

No porn. Well, Boeing is snatching the clothes off children, so she brushes her hair behind.

[Trixie Mattel]

Here she goes. Where do I go? And she goes to reach. And I watch her hand. I'm not kidding. Four inches from the door handle to open. Like she was about to grab the handle to the goddamn plane.

[Christine]

She's going to piss out in 30,000ft in the clouds.

[Trixie Mattel]

I thought it was the bathroom. I guess.

[Christine]

She'S never been on a plane or near one.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think she has a condo in, like, Soho that she doesn't leave often.

[Christine]

Don't those people. If you said it was, like, some woman who just crawled out of the mud with no shoes and she was in first class.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Christine]

Like, has she never been on a flight before? Maybe she's on. She's drinking high balls with goofballs and, you know, the.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, I think I saved all of our lives because I said, nope, don't do that.

[Christine]

Well, you certainly saved the children's lives and their dignity.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then she finally went in the bathroom, and I was like, I hope it was.

[Christine]

How did she open it? Would she, like, oh. Like, what was she.

[Trixie Mattel]

She was like, oh. And I was like, no, no.

[Christine]

I must kill this.

[Trixie Mattel]

No.

[Christine]

That's so weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was so crazy. I couldn't. I've never seen it happen in my life.

[Christine]

I understand. Like, not. I've. I've, like, gone into. Almost gone into the cockpit or almost gone into a closet. Do you know what I mean? Because the bathroom.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sometimes the bathroom looks like more food.

[Christine]

No, Sometimes the bathroom is, like, literally so narrow, it's this. The same width as the closet where they hang up the coats.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

So, like. But I've never thought, like, oh, open up the window and just jump through it to go to the bathroom.

[Trixie Mattel]

How bad do you have to pee that you're gonna.

[Christine]

Mama. When I go up in that airplane, all the pee just becomes dry in my body.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, she had, like, a chunky sweater on. Maybe she thought she could catch a. Catch a tailwind and, like, glide to the. Glide to the earth.

[Christine]

Well, white women notoriously think they can do anything. It's the. It's the that Gwyneth kind of attitude that goop can do. Spirit.

[Trixie Mattel]

We were almost all goop.

[Christine]

Yeah. Which I thought about going down, like, because when I would watch a lot of plane crash videos, anything I can find, anything I can find, I gobble it up. And when they hit the water, they explode. Often. That's kunty.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know what happened?

[Christine]

Earth, wind and fire.

[Trixie Mattel]

My algorithm rhythm has recently taken A dark turn where it thinks I want to see things like firework accidents.

[Christine]

Oh, love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no. The other day, I watched a guy in Brooklyn. My heart goes out to him. He's a real person. I saw the video.

[Christine]

He died.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was lighting a firework, blew the fingers off. And the craziest part of the video was he's standing there with, I would say, 35% of his fingers left. Right. The palms are pretty intact, but the fingertips are gone.

[Christine]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

White shirt, blood. Right. And the guy filming goes, are you good, bro?

[Christine]

Are you good, bro? It's like when you're good, bro.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, sometimes I know that we're. Like, sometimes I know that we're all, like, cool, straight bros, but sometimes you need to, like, don't do that. Yeah. And just call 911.

[Christine]

Your Riz has gone down 75%.

[Trixie Mattel]

What does that mean?

[Christine]

Riz is a way to say, like, riz and the level. It just means how much. I think it's charisma. Oh, I think it's charisma. It's like, oh, I don't know how to use it. It. Somebody made the shirt for me, so I'm wearing it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow. Are you going to see Wicked?

[Christine]

Nope. Yeah, but I will cheer people on, such as Bo and Yang. Gay Asian talent.

[Trixie Mattel]

The girls. Yes, the girls.

[Christine]

It looks wonderful. I hate the singing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Christine]

It looks so gorgeous. It looks so beautiful. But I will just. I'd rather put, like, knitting needles into my ears. Defying gravity.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. I think. Well, you know, I saw it on Broadway a couple months ago, and it reminded me that, wow, the message of this program is so great and wonderful.

[Christine]

And what is the message?

[Trixie Mattel]

We really need it right now. Well, it's about somebody kind of being, like, different. They're different, and they're, like, afraid of coming into their power and, like, believing themselves and all that. And then they're kind of being gaslit by everyone, and they have a moral compass, and they're like, no, bitch, no. I know what's right.

[Christine]

Yeah. I may be green, but if it ain't green, I'm not interested.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. And also, one of the things they talk about in the play is, like, you know, how to influence people. Like, one of the. Glinda, obviously, is, like, the Kiss, Kiss. Wave Wave. Everyone loves her, but, you know, she.

[Christine]

Got green, ugly skin.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's not her. Oh, wait, Glinda's the.

[Christine]

Oh, Glinda. Glinda's the good Glinda is Ariana.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. And then it's a fabulous messaging, fabulous themes Explored. Beautiful music.

[Christine]

Music, Beautiful visuals.

[Trixie Mattel]

I won't be going to the movie theater to see it because, as you know, I just hate going to movies now.

[Christine]

You are so cinema averse. You need to get back.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you know how they say, like, we have movies at home? We do have movies. Like, no, we have food at home. We have movies at home.

[Christine]

But what you don't have at home is a whole bunch of strangers ready to have an experience with you.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't like that. Because in horror. Because in horror movies, they laugh when scary things happen. I hate that.

[Christine]

Well, you really missed out on the terrifier because not only did they not laugh, they gasped and then they cheered and then they clapped every time. There was a big kill piece, chainsaw up the ass, dick and ball sawed off, titties gone, head off. And then everybody, like, there was almost a standing ovation.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow.

[Christine]

For. It was like, people took it very, very seriously. And they really enjoyed the carnage and the brutality.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

I thought that that was like a return to cinema and you should come enjoy it.

[Trixie Mattel]

But it's gonna come to my house.

[Christine]

No, no, no. We gotta go to the theater. We'll hold hands. We can. We'll kiss.

[Trixie Mattel]

You've seen the size of my TV in my living room.

[Christine]

I know, but this is like, you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Know, we have huge TVs at home.

[Christine]

But does the sound make you, like. Does it get your click going?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I have one of those JBL things, and I put it right between my legs, right up against my lips, and I ride it.

[Christine]

What if the lady. What if the lady was like, oh, I'm so sorry that she's. Takes a JBL out of her? He's like, I got so confused.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right. Last thing I saw was Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice with you.

[Christine]

Yeah. And that was funish. But you get to see the thing about the movies, like the substance, the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Terrifier, it's the sound.

[Trixie Mattel]

I. You know what I realized just now? I don't ever go to the movies unless I'm invited by someone.

[Christine]

Well, guess what? Prepare for some text messages from me. You're gonna be like, no, I did go to.

[Trixie Mattel]

I did go to a movie when I was in Milwaukee, you know, went home. I took off for Halloween this year, the Saturday of Halloween, because it was Aunt Gucci, 60th birthday.

[Christine]

Huge turnout.

[Trixie Mattel]

Huge turnout.

[Christine]

Like 50 people said, huge turnout. Like a funeral.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Because people in my family don't get together like that unless it's like, I know death. We did stuff, you know, like my sister Made jello shots, things like all kinds of spooky items. What they got, you know, all the items. And there's like a family game, which I think is like a Germanic thing or Norwegian thing, where they have the big stump and you gotta, like hit the hammer. Hit the. Hit the nail with one swing and try to get it in. And then you win. You win a prize.

[Christine]

Oh, this the stump game.

[Trixie Mattel]

And of course, my cousin who does, like, contracting, was like. And I was like, well, cheating.

[Christine]

Wait, so you hit a hammer into a stump.

[Trixie Mattel]

So they have like a stump with like a little long, long nail. And they're like, all right, here's the hammer once. And for this round, you guys have to throw the hammer up in the air, flip it, catch it, and try to pound it in one hit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Jesus Christ.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know everyone's drunk, there's kids around, but they.

[Christine]

But they're contractors. They know what time it is.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, that's where I was. Ready for the funeral? Hammer in the eye. Death.

[Christine]

Who's jealous of the hammer?

[Trixie Mattel]

And I walk in. My mom is in a witch costume and a wig.

[Christine]

Your mother dressed up?

[Trixie Mattel]

She's in a witch costume in a wig.

[Christine]

Val put a wig on.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I said, where did you get that wig? And she said, facebook Marketplace.

[Christine]

I'm shocked that she even knows what a wig is.

[Trixie Mattel]

A second hand wig, considering.

[Christine]

Oh, she got a used wig off of Facebook.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, used wig off Facebook. So the girls. The girls have lice. Okay.

[Christine]

Mama Val is riddled.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you know what I can appreciate? Thrifty.

[Christine]

Thrifty.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's like, I'm going to wear it once.

[Christine]

Exactly. That's why you go, you get, you. You walk down a downtown crossing in Boston. You pick up the tracks off the. The ground.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, we just saw some tracks the day after Halloween in Milwaukee. We saw hair on the ground.

[Christine]

Lots of hair on the ground.

[Trixie Mattel]

So Val is, you know, what would say valley children in nature, long black and gray witch wig, right? My mom's also like 100 pounds, too. So my mom in a black dress with the wig on, I walked in and was like, yeah, what happened to that good little girl? Right? I was like, what? I walked. It was like, I'm not in drag. So mom's in like, what's happening?

[Christine]

Somebody has to be.

[Trixie Mattel]

Somebody at any moment has to be in Dragon 1.

[Christine]

Fergus must be dragged up and my sister.

[Trixie Mattel]

I had to cut a wig. Listen, it was a last minute costume idea. So I thought, I'm gonna be Shaggy from Scooby Doo. I get a women's Yellowstone wig, long blonde wig. And I cut it into a short, like, Shaggy, Shaggy Scooby Doo wig.

[Christine]

Oh, he's the one with like the green shirt and.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, Scoob. Yeah, that okay. Yeah. So I cut the wig.

[Christine]

You love Scooby Doo, huh?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's great. But I had done. I did Daphne, so I thought, oh, that's a fun boy costume, right? And I had to cut this wig. And my sister went to beauty school. And I go up to her and she was a cat, right? She's. Her skin's all painted orange. She glued down her eyebrows.

[Christine]

Jesus.

[Trixie Mattel]

She has ears on with the big snatched eyes. My sister goes, hard for Halloween, but the back of her wasn't painted. And she goes. I go, how's the back of the wig look? She goes, it looked like you got frustrated and gave up. I said, well, the back of you is not painted, bitch. So what kind of cat are you?

[Christine]

Damn.

[Trixie Mattel]

So we're getting really into it. And then my mom, high as hell, goes to sit on the toilet and starts yelling my sister's name like, sam, get in here and do my makeup on the toilet you said you were going to do. So I go in there and my mom goes, you said you knew my mom's. Are you sure you know what you're doing to put lashes and eyeshadow on her? I said, faggot, sit down.

[Christine]

I invented this shit. Mary.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. She's sitting in her black gown on the toilet. She's going, somebody has to do my makeup. So I do it. She's very like, I guess I'll settle for you.

[Christine]

Not my son.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know.

[Christine]

Not my son who does drag. Owns a makeup company. It went to beauty school.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm measuring the lash her eye. And then I go to cut it. She goes, don't. Why are you cutting it? I go, don't you think I would know?

[Christine]

Jesus.

[Trixie Mattel]

I do this lovely little smokey eye with a little glitter. And then I said, all right, should we do some under eye conceal foundation? She's like, no. I said, we're not doing a heavy smokey eye with no foundation, right? Granted, my mom has beautiful skin. So I do, you know, do what I can, right? And then we. She wants to do a black lip, so she has a little black lipstick. She puts it on. She wants to do herself. So, you know.

[Christine]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's in the mirror with the wig on. I was like, okay, ho. You know, like, I got you ready. But once you step out of this bathroom, your wig falls off, your lash falls off. I'm having jello shots out of my jurisdiction. What happens to you? I don't know what happens to you. So then this is all leading to that night. I said, I have a Saturday off in Milwaukee and I haven't in 15 years. Probably been to see Rocky Horror at the Oriental Theater. So I get two tickets to go see in the Oriental Theater. Milwaukee. They do Rocky.

[Christine]

Is that when you like, shout at the screen?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. It's like a thousand people there and they're all dressed up in Rocky costumes.

[Christine]

And you go into a thousand person theater, but you won't see the substance. With me and 55 people.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was thinking, it's funny that I have a night off from Dragon. I'm like, let's go watch people run around in high heels and wigs.

[Christine]

But did you. So you dressed up?

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I was in my costume, so no one recognized me. My, you're my Shaggy.

[Christine]

Your eye popping.

[Trixie Mattel]

My eye popping day.

[Christine]

Look, you're unclockable.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Christine]

There's no incredible clock.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I went and watched the movie and watched all the kids run around and do Rocky Horror and it was so fun.

[Christine]

Oh, they'd perform it. They perform it while the thing plays?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, while the movie plays. They wear the costumes from the movie and they exactly act it all out. They shadow cast it.

[Christine]

Oh, I love it. I want to be Columbia.

[Trixie Mattel]

I see that for you. Like, right, that's the devil's readings. But yes. So I had a really good time. It movie went to like 3am which I was not prepared for. I forgot how long it is.

[Christine]

Oh, midnight movie.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Christine]

Kiss of death.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, first they got to do a costume contest because all these people there for Halloween.

[Christine]

Yeah, I don't like costume contests.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hosted one at this is it because I had to do my party there. Well, we used to have everyone in the bar come up one by one.

[Christine]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[Trixie Mattel]

And now we pick five. We do it. You, the drag queen walks over the person. You do this, which is much more.

[Christine]

That's what we did in Australia.

[Trixie Mattel]

Much more efficient.

[Christine]

Pim or who's the crab from the Powerpuff Girls?

[Trixie Mattel]

Him.

[Christine]

Him. The Australian version, you know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hi, P.E. are you.

[Christine]

They won a. A super tall guy in drag was Elvira Cunty. So sexy. And then there was. If I knew then what I know now. Miss Argentina fierce. It was so good. Do I care about Halloween costumes? Ask me that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you?

[Christine]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

I mean, I like people's enthusiasm and Boston for them. For them, somebody was the Boulay Brothers and they were dressed as A belay brother. And they had an upper torso in the same outfit with the wig on over their shoulder, strapped to them.

[Christine]

That is.

[Trixie Mattel]

They were two people.

[Christine]

That is so funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was awesome.

[Christine]

Then they also. I can't do the voice.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hello. Hello. I really like your. But I love doing Halloween with them. I get to do it every year.

[Christine]

And what did they do for a number?

[Trixie Mattel]

They don't do a number. They just host and do a contest.

[Christine]

What did they look like?

[Trixie Mattel]

They're huge TV stars. Now long black. You know, black with the spooky. And then they did like an orange thing. Spooky.

[Christine]

So the black thing and then the orange thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I mean, they're the Blue brothers. They have a very tight branding situation with variations on this. On the black. More black. Yes.

[Christine]

Oh, my God. I was a sexy double, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

With. With the flu.

[Christine]

Yes. But I looked lovely. And then I got this dress from China and it was like not quite Temu. It was like A step above AliExpress. A step above Temu. It was like this gorgeous mirrored gown. But all the. The little pieces of mirror had plastic over them. It took me and Fina an hour and 45 minutes to take off all the little plastic things. But once those plastic bits were off, honey, it was. It was good.

[Trixie Mattel]

She gave the girls the Teemo serve.

[Christine]

No, she gave the highest paid drag.

[Trixie Mattel]

Queens in the world.

[Christine]

It was like. No, it was. I'm telling. It was like $175.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow.

[Christine]

You can't find that on Teemu.

[Trixie Mattel]

Where was it from?

[Christine]

Mumu.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was.

[Christine]

You borrowed it from Mumu. Mew.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I love Mumu. That's not Teemu.

[Christine]

I. I told you. It's.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, Mumu's. I love them. I have some of their alpha outfits.

[Christine]

Yeah. I'm hoping they do a new site. The New Moon.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know that silver dress I have with all the rainbow stars on it with the matching boots?

[Christine]

That's from Mumu.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's Mumu. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Christine]

Let me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Great.

[Christine]

Great.

[Trixie Mattel]

If y'all are honestly any body type, they make really good.

[Christine]

I wouldn't say any type. Where's this Mudang? It's cunty. They also charged me for a gown that did not arrive. Love that. But look at this. It's. It's beautiful.

[Trixie Mattel]

By the way, we have a great guest next week. I just want to tease really good guests.

[Christine]

Such my favorite person in the world. Do you see that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Wow.

[Christine]

It's so pretty. I mean, I'm doing something weird, but isn't that gorge? The body is a little rough. It's pretty, right? Yeah, it's.

[Trixie Mattel]

I like that you're kind of like. It looked better embracing you.

[Christine]

Shut the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, you know, like, this is my body. This is who I am.

[Christine]

You know, Mary, I. For my one devil outfit, I had a midriff bear moment. It was a night of mama. You want to talk Scream Queen's horror show. When I went sideways and did this, they were like, that's the terrifier. And she's 13 months pregnant. It was so crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Listen, we gotta dip because our guest is here. But the next guys see you next week. The guest is so, so good.

[Christine]

My. One of my favorite people in the whole world. One of the funniest people alive.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bye.