We Finally Explain Art

Summary

---

The Bald and The Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Episode: We Finally Explain Art

Date: August 11, 2026
Host: Confetti Cannon
Guests: Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova

---

Episode Overview

This episode, "We Finally Explain Art," features Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova in peak form, dissecting their personal relationships with art and aesthetics—both high and lowbrow. The queens cover a wide spectrum: from chaotic night life stories to heartfelt thoughts on experiencing and judging art, to hilarious hot takes on drag makeup, grocery shopping, and orchestral performances. They mix cultural criticism, Tinseltown gossip, and queer absurdity with their signature irreverence, aiming to demystify the art world while simultaneously celebrating its weirdness.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fashion, Whimsy, and Party Themes

[01:04-04:20]

• Katya questions if her shoes are "corny" and discusses feeling like she can't pull off fun trends, unlike younger, cooler people ("If I bought like a lovely wide leg Jinko, they'd be like, what are you trying to be young?" [02:55, Katya]).
• Trixie and Katya grapple with the difference between wanting to express whimsy in fashion vs. feeling outdated: "If I wear my little pencil slim jean, I feel like it's like millennial." [02:34, Katya]
• Party attire and expectations: Katya laments the lack of "whimsy" at themed parties. "People love whimsy... where's the Christmas cookie? Where's the nookie? Where's the Leaning Tower of Pisa?" [03:43-04:05]

2. Night Out in West Hollywood: Drag, Drinking, and Karaoke

[04:05-17:17]

• Katya describes a heavy night out with friends for "birdie" (birthday) at drag bingo and West Hollywood bars, culminating in a "brown out"—fuzzy, missing memories, but corroborated via others' stories and social media the next day.
  • "Apparently we went into Revolver, had shots... days later [I remembered]" [12:31, Katya]
• The realities of performing drag under the influence: "Everybody has told me my whole life that when I am drunk, they can't tell... like, I'm drunk now." [09:16, Katya]
• Hilarious complaints about drag queens with upside-down bottom lashes, and elaborate makeup routines before hitting the bars ("We all put on our TV paint stick to go to happy hour. Looking embalmed... like the killer Tammy Faye." [06:09-06:39])
• Karaoke anxiety and fun: Katya laments never winning at bingo, and being overshadowed by genuinely good singers at karaoke. "When someone's an amazing singer, it makes karaoke go from haha to like... let me show you how you burlesque." [14:25-14:33]
• Both hosts reminisce about musical theatre school and the pressure to perform and blend into various scene contexts.

3. Art, Museums, and The Meaning of Experience

[17:17-32:08]

• Katya shares her visit to the "Hospital of Emotions," a defunct hospital converted into an immersive, multi-floor art experience where each room represents an emotion and is curated by a different artist. "One of them made me cry... a hospital bed surrounded by paintings of a person's life, it really moved me." [20:05, Katya]
• Ambivalence about the price ($85 per ticket), but marveling at the impact: "Hundreds of artists, installations in one. Nobody forced me to go." [21:08, Katya]
• Both express common insecurities about ‘not getting’ gallery art, and the feeling that the experience must be profound or correct.
  • Katya: "I need things fed to me. I need to read the plaque. I need it explained to me." [20:44]
  • Trixie: "I think that your reaction to visual art is common... The shallow experience is the experience." [24:51, Trixie]
• The duo reflects on seeing contemporary pieces in person (e.g., Thomas Woodruff’s “Freak Parade,” the giant dining room table at The Broad) vs. seeing them online, discussing scale and presence.
• Trixie equates her fascination with antique furniture at the Art Institute of Chicago as a valid, even if "shallow," artistic experience: "When you jump into a pond, of course it’s shallow at first." [25:31, Trixie]
• They agree it’s valid to have a simple, even underwhelming reaction to art, and that judging oneself for a "surface" experience limits authentic engagement.

4. Art School, Growing Older, and Re-education

[31:15-32:08]

• Both reflect that age and experience would make them much better students now, more willing to appreciate and absorb what they previously dismissed.
  • "Only now... that I could get something out of art school." [31:15, Trixie]
  • Katya: "I would actually go in [music theory] and love it... and go home thinking about it." [31:21]

5. Performance with the Philadelphia Orchestra

[34:07-41:36]

• Katya recounts performing with the world-famous Philadelphia Orchestra for a Pride event, while navigating feelings of imposter syndrome and fear of not fitting into the "fine arts" scene.
  • On preparing: "You better wear a nice dress, not say the F word… I’m a musician, excited to be invited, but nervous." [35:10]
• She details her set ("Rich People," “Till Death Do Us Part”) and texting her high school band teacher to express gratitude.
  • "I text her… I just did this remix for Duran Duran and this gig with the Philly Orchestra... I owe you so much." [36:29]
• Hilarious commentary on the true simplicity of pop song structures, especially "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga, and the humor of playing this in full drag with a professional orchestra.
  • "Do you know 'Born this Way'? ...Am I a Nikki fan?" [38:17]
  • “Reading through it, I'm like, oh my God. I'm sight reading it like it’s a serious orchestral piece, and it’s literally just Born This Way.” [41:14, Katya]
• The event’s significance—bringing queer audiences to fine arts spaces—and Katya’s enjoyment: "Think of all these fags who probably never go to fine arts things… it was sweet." [41:17]

6. Grocery Store Chaos, Trader Joe’s & LA Living

[43:08-50:53]

• Rants about Trader Joe’s: the lack of variety, long lines, aggressive shoppers, and the store’s unique culture ("Trader Joe had no... He’s traded. He’s got no food up in there.” [45:10, Trixie])
• The absurd cult mentality around Trader Joe’s seasonal foods, and how social media amplifies it: "The way people talk about, like, if you don’t get out to Trader Joe’s and get the buffalo pizza dip, I’m gonna kill myself." [45:35, Katya]
• LA grocery etiquette: debates about eating unbought food, giant dogs in stores, and microcosms of privilege.
• Quick tangents on holiday carry-out, inclusivity, and gender-affirming care.

7. Meta-commentary and RuPaul Dreams

[51:05-51:19]

• Katya describes a dream about RuPaul monologuing "Everybody say love" in a dark room, a perfect eerie button to their conversations on queer culture and performance.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Millennials and Trends:
  "If I wear my little pencil slim jean, I feel like it’s like millennial. It cringe. You don't know what time it is. What are you, three years ago call? They want their fucking... painted on pants back."
  —Trixie [02:34-02:52]

• On Drag Makeup and Drinking:
  "We all put on our TV paint stick to go to happy hour. Looking embalmed. Looking like Jessica Chastain. Looking like the killer Tammy Faye."
  —Katya [06:30-06:39]

• On Never Winning at Bingo:
  "It's like Ashton Kutcher's hiding to be like, we're gonna follow her for her whole life to make sure at every bingo it's fixed and rigged and she can never win."
  —Katya [08:51]

• On Experiencing Art:
  "The shallow experience is the experience."
  —Trixie [24:51]

  "I have a difficulty understanding—I police myself on what I think I am meant to feel. The artist is also not in charge of what I feel when I see this."
  —Katya [24:30]

• On Pop Music with Orchestra:
  "Reading through it, I'm like, oh my God. I'm sight reading it like it’s a serious orchestral piece, and it’s literally just Born This Way."
  —Katya [41:14]

• On Trader Joe’s:
  "Trader Joe had no... He’s traded. He’s got no food up in there."
  —Trixie [45:10]

• On Aging and Education:
  "Only now... that I could get something out of art school."
  —Trixie [31:15]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:04] – Millennial fashion anxiety & the search for whimsy at parties
• [06:09] – Drag makeup routines and drinking mishaps
• [14:19] – Karaoke with professional singers & drag bingo culture
• [17:17] – The “Hospital of Emotions” immersive art experience
• [21:23] – How to approach art museums and challenging works
• [24:16] – Reflections on being allowed “surface level” reactions to art
• [31:15] – Would art school be more meaningful now?
• [34:07] – Katya meets the Philadelphia Orchestra & indie-drag meets fine arts
• [38:17] – Performing “Born This Way” with a symphony
• [43:08] – Trader Joe’s: cult, chaos, and comedy
• [51:05] – Katya’s dream about RuPaul saying “Everybody say love”

---

Episode Tone & Flow

Expect trademark high-camp sarcasm, earnest reflection, and absurdist cultural commentary. The episode is a whirlwind of rapid-fire jokes, quick switches between subjects (from drag, pop music, gay bars, to the philosophy of art), and affectionate ribbing. Despite the irreverence, there’s unexpected wisdom about how to process and value personal experiences—both in life and art. The queens make high culture accessible, while exposing the elaborate, sometimes ridiculous rituals that surround it.

---

For anyone curious about queer perspectives on art, pop music, life in LA, and the messiness of being a human—and homo sapien—this episode offers laughs, candor, nostalgia, and original insights, all delivered in the hilarious, chaotic voices of Trixie and Katya.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

Let's check in on the SERTA counting sheep. Why aren't we counted anymore? Well, the all new Serta Perfect sleeper has the Q4 support system that helps relieve aches and back pain. We'll never get counted again.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nope.

[Trixie Mattel]

Serta, we make the world's best mattress

[Commercial Announcer]

at dsw. We ask the important questions like what shoes are you going to wear? Whether you're prepping for wedding season, festival season or just planning the ultimate vacay, the right shoes can make or break an rsvp. So own the mom. You've got big plans and we've got just the shoes at the perfect price, of course. Get ready to get ready with Designer Shoe Warehouse. Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today and let us surprise you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We were just talking. I don't know.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, we're just talking about funny videos.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Excuse you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Quiet on the set. Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She will keep you here till 4.

[Trixie Mattel]

I will keep you. You will keep me here till 4.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have a nail appointment. Do you think these shoes are corny? No. I feel other people wear them always. Like that's so fun and simple and cute. Then when I wear them I look like my grandma.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about my Herman Munster edition?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, those are kind of fun. Where are those from?

[Trixie Mattel]

The shoe store down the street.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Wow.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Snacketerium.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Snackaterium. Those are really pretty.

[Trixie Mattel]

So there's okay fun. There's a. I went. I went to a store to buy these shoes and the, the really cool. Oh God, this guy is so cool. Love this guy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's so cool about him?

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, let me tell you.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What, what, what, what brings the coolness? There we go. I like the yellow one.

[Trixie Mattel]

I do too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you ever have sugar free?

[Trixie Mattel]

No. I went in the store and I bought these shoes and he told me Queen Latifah was just there. Oh. And then this guy was just great. His name is Jay. He's just so cool looking. He's just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What store?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's called Politics. Oh. And was so nice, so helpful. Very young. Just I mean devastatingly handsome. And then just like dressed all cool. Not wearing those giant huge fucking windy baggy pants that are so on trend right now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Which I appreciated.

[Trixie Mattel]

The last time I saw him. I believe he was wearing some kind of skinny pant.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you like skinny pants? Just Ben.

[Trixie Mattel]

So it's context dependent.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel two ways about it where it's like if I wear my. Wear my little thin. My little. Your little pencil slim jean, I feel like it's like millennial.

[Trixie Mattel]

It cringe. Yeah. Yeah, you're cringe. You don't know what time it is. What are you, three years ago call? They want their fucking. He's painted on pants back.

[Commercial Announcer]

Loser.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But also I feel like if I bought like a lovely wide leg Jinko, they'd be like, what are you trying to be young?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, Old. You should.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So now instead of clothes, I'll just take a kind of a large bath towel and wrap it around myself and I'll just wear that place is. That way people know I'm kind of opting out.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. And you're out of the shower.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like people who don't have social media. I don't have clothes.

[Trixie Mattel]

No. Yeah. I mean, if we know one thing about Trixie is that she's always running out of. Running out of the house at 5am with wet hair.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I am. This is a secondhand shirt. Isn't this bird shirt great?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's great.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then this is an old Trixie bucket hat.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bucket hat.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I wear it in the pool a lot.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's. It's terry cloth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Does it make you think that I'm kind of like Malibu's most wanted Jamie Kennedy?

[Trixie Mattel]

It makes me feel.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that Jamie Kennedy?

[Trixie Mattel]

It makes me feel. You're a fun and whimsical. Full of whimsy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People love whimsy. Oh, my God, that TikTok audio. That's like, y' all need whimsy. I agree. That's how I felt when I into your party. And I don't know if people were dressed up.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was like, where's the whimsy?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I think a lot of people, they want to you so they're like, I'm going to wear my sexy clothes because she'll see me and we'll fall in love. But I was like, the theme is Italy and Christmas. Where's the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Where's, where's the Christmas cookie?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Where's the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Where's the Christmas cookie? Where's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Where's the Christmas nookie?

[Trixie Mattel]

Where's the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Where's the nookie? Wait, did I tell you about the level of drinking that happened to me. I talked about this at the Wiltern show. But by the way, lack of air conditioning, shout out to the W. Turn. Will never be back.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, you know, we'll never be back. You know, it's always a rap when you see the plaque outside that says this is a historic building that means there's no plumbing or air conditioning.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They were like, oh, you know, agents and managers stuff were. There is like I was like, bring them in here. Bring them all in here. Wrap a terry cloth, throw around them, put an afghan around them, warm them up.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Where's the wool?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Where's the heavy wool? It was where the scratchy, heavy wool sweaters. Up to the. Up to the chin.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And Fina again, great. Bringing me down to reality. Fina comes in and goes, oh, Kat's room is just ice. An ice box. And then leaves. Close the door behind her. I said, oh, great. Perfect. Perfect. I'll just sit in here in the Easy Bake oven at about 3:50.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Again, I think there's. I'm sensing a theme in my life. Maybe I'm coming up to some sort of. Sort of psychological milestone.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hot. Her trainer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Lovely.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Gorgeous. Unbelievable. One of the most attractive people I've seen in a long time.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. No. And I'm like. I'm like, God damn, it's all corrupt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So tall, so handsome, so young. The eyelashes, the white eyes, the perfect skin. I was like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know. I was like, oh, okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All right.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. So we're doing that now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What baffles me is I'm the same species and gender. Like, when I see a bunch of dogs and they're all the same breed and gender, they all look the same to me. Kind of. Right? Animals. Animals.

[Trixie Mattel]

But yeah, no, I know what you're talking about.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But me and this standard poodle and a pug.

[Trixie Mattel]

Standard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Same breed.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, same breed. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Me and this. This human are same. Same animal.

[Ad Narrator]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We're same gender, same species, but one of us is doing something very different. One of us is doing something that belongs on a petri dish.

[Trixie Mattel]

One of us is doing the lot of.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Come drinking.

[Trixie Mattel]

So wait, how did this drinking happen to you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so it was my friend H. Allen Scott's birdie.

[Trixie Mattel]

L. Ron Hubbard.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, H. Allen Scott. His birdie. And so. What? Birdie.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, birdie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

This is birdie. That's from Mr. Wonderful, too. It's his birdie. So we decide to go out. You know, we're a meaty calf. Thank you. We're all in our upper 40s, so we all put on our pancake makeup to go to West Hollywood, right? We all put on our house paint. So we all put on our TV paint stick to go to happy hour.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Looking embalmed. Looking like Jessica Chastain. Looking like the killer Tammy Faye. Tammy.

[Trixie Mattel]

We all put our lashes. We all put nail polish all over our lashes and then stick them on and put mascara over that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what I Hate when drag queens do what the bottom lash is upside down. So they go like this. It drives me up the wall.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's like saying when they put their pants on backwards or when they wear their shoes on their shoulders. That's wrong.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's wrong. It's wrong in a lot of levels.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's wrong and it's. It's wrong. Just so you know, there are no rules in fashion. Except for that one. And I don't like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's fine. I'm not in charge of other people's drag, but I think somebody should hurt them physically, their bodies.

[Trixie Mattel]

A lot of drinking should happen to them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right, right. I want to take a long piece of sandpaper and take, like, the front of their knee and just go like something, something mean something to teach them a lesson.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I want to push them into a wall.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right, right, right. So we go and we go to this place called 33 Taps in West Hollywood. And I guess I've chosen craft beer. I've chosen 36 to love West Hollywood. I love to go to West Hollywood. Maybe.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a gay bar. I don't think anyone's going for the craft beer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pancake makeup. I imagine community theater.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Shading.

[Trixie Mattel]

Scratching your. Scratching your face. And then a male.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Huge.

[Trixie Mattel]

A huge divot.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I take my Ben Nye character wheel. I do contour, highlight, blush. The Wells Fargo wagon is like, I. Girl dinner theater. My character makeup, wet, wet, no powder, no powder. Wet, wet, mud. And then all my laugh lines. The cake. The cake makeup is love.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Scream lines. So we go. And it's dry queens. It's drag queens. It's Godoy and Samara hosting a bingo. I walk in, and I haven't been to a drag bingo a long time. I love this girl Samara. She's so unbelievably beautiful. I go, your highlighter. Oh, my God, you look so beautiful. She said, it's your highlighter. I was like, wasn't fishing for it. I was like. And then they just look great. And I'm sitting there and not a good listener. Bingo is hard for me. Bingo's hard for me. The numbers are fast. I used to. I used to host bingo, which is very easy. You just say numbers. 5, 10, whatever, 6, whatever. Or being at bingo. I'm like. And everyone at my table is trying to drink and talk. I'm like, shut up. Like, ah, I'm dobbing. I'm dobbing as fast as I can. Cuz I want to win. Of course I don't win. I've Never won bingo.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm there with someone who wins, but it's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No one wins. It's like. It's like a Ashton Kutcher's hiding. To be like, we're gonna follow her for her whole life to make sure at every bingo it's fixed and rigged and she can never win. But what do you.

[Trixie Mattel]

But it's not your fault.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's random, though. It's universe. It's. It's God, it's Gaia, it's the moon, it's the earth. It's. It's channeling the divine.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's Mercury. It's Mercury.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And they're sort of like, guess what? You will never win.

[Trixie Mattel]

Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You will never win.

[Trixie Mattel]

So how does that make you feel?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's fine. We had some drinks, then they brought over shots. And I guess because I haven't been eating much, I was like, kind of already not noticing that I'm a little drunk. But everybody has told me my whole life that when I am drunk, they can't tell. Okay, like, I'm drunk now.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wonder. I wonder how many times you've been drunk with me and I haven't noticed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've never really been drunk around you. Have you noticed? I never. The other night at the Wiltern, the fact that I had wine on stage. Do I ever do that? No. I was worried, but I had, like, this Tracy said. But I do see you butt chugging it before the show.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. I never get up and there's a. There's an empty bottle of wine that falls out of your ass.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, it's the Aveline Cameron Diaz wine. It shatters. And then I sit down on the. And I just grind on the wet shards. And there's blood. That's horrible. Let's take a break. I'm sorry. Oh, the Avileen was the sponsor. They pulled out. They said. What did you say? I do like Avalon. I do like Avileen wine.

[Trixie Mattel]

Aveline.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Aveline. A L I N E. I think it's Cameron Diaz's company. But we just had a bottle of it at the studio. I was there tracking some vocals. I was like, I'm gonna.

[Trixie Mattel]

Where you can't find your vocals?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, at the microphone. Because the drag your tracker. No, I was doing a vocal. I'm doing a track.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but you understand the joke.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I understand. It's just not funny.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're like, oh, it's close. She's close. The bridge is right around the corner.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Echolocation. I'm doing this track with Reckno. The. The DJ producer, Reckno rectum. No reckno bass house. Really baggy long ponies, rapping love. And I gotta track the vocals in my drag closet. The one that used to be by the pod. The pod.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is all fabric. So that's where I go to make. Because it's like a soundproof because I don't have a booth. A booth sound booth. I'm boofing it in the sound booth. Look at the booth. Bottle berry cologne. She's checking her vocals and boofing it. She's boofing herself while she tracks her vocals. So what was.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, she's boofing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, so drinking in the booth. No, drinking at the event.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So then we go, I guess I. I mean I never in my life even brown out drinking. I what was special? Like fuzzy memories. Something about this day.

[Trixie Mattel]

The lights went out in Georgia. The lights went out tootsie. Nationwide. Nationwide Grid paralyzed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nationwide is on your side.

[Trixie Mattel]

So honk, honk. I wrote that we should do more of that singing call one, 800 East West.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes, of course. All you gotta do is 667 Empire. Yeah, love that too.

[Trixie Mattel]

When you've got call JJ Wentworth 86000. Yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The other one is when the sun

[Trixie Mattel]

is blazing, the summer gets hot water. Country is a very cool spot.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's no better place to feel and beyond.

[Trixie Mattel]

What a country. Have some fun.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People are listening to this being like, why would I subscribe to the peaceler More of this. Take a break.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then now we're back. What a country, what a country.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So we go and I guess we go, so. So I'm going to Tarantino this I'm going to skip to Monday. Monday I'm filming a piece for a press piece. Oh, the dog pressed up because the killer.

[Trixie Mattel]

The killer.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm filming a press piece and the interviewer goes, it was great seeing you Friday. I said, have we met? He says, we talked Friday. I go, oh, I'm in drag. I go, oh. So let's turn Tino back to this night. Apparently we went into Revolver, had shots, I guess found out days later.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you lick him? Did you lick him?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don't remember speaking to him. Don't remember talking to him. Don't remember his face feel up on his legs. So then I guess we went to Mic drop, this new West Hollywood karaoke bar. Because I was with people that I want to say something about Mr. Wonderful. At a certain amount of. At a certain time of night with their drinks involved, there's going to Be singing anyway. So it's better to get him an environment where it makes sense.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right. Because it's going to be singing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not at the police station.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The group, the game. The group of gays is going to start singing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay. So let's get somewhere where it makes sense in context. I understand there's microphones.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Otherwise, we're at the Hardee's, the dance Terria, the Snacketerium. You know what I mean? So I guess we go to mic drop. I remember the inside. I remember the interior. Like days later. The memories are coming back to me. I'm like a sleeper agent.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm. I'm Halle Berry and Gothica.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Actually, you're in Shutter Island. I'm Shutter Island. I'm Shutter island. I'm Leonardo DiCaprio.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's Memento.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Absolutely.

[Trixie Mattel]

All you're looking at, all the tattoos,

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

the numbers, pieces together. Right. 7, 6 plus 7, 6, 7. So

[Trixie Mattel]

how does anybody listen to us? How does anybody.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know, Water, country people have genuinely said to me, I love your pod. I go, you know, that's. They go, I listen to your pod every week. I go, you know, that's mental illness. You know you have mental illness. So apparently I sang. Don't know what. I sang multiple songs.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nobody told you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We're all singing and we're there with Elliot Glazer, who is an incredible singer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is he really?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So the only memory I have is him sitting waterfalls and me being like, oh, my God. You know, when someone's an amazing singer, it makes karaoke go from haha to like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Suddenly it's like, let me show you how you're burlesque. You know, it's Christina Gill. It's Show a little more.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like, well, I can do that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Of course, the rest of us are like, sometimes I feel I want to get away. Mind you, I make records and I'm still not a good karaoke singer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I don't like it when there's real Kara singers. When they're like, you guys, I don't know the song, you're like, oh, God. Oh, God. I love good singers.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I don't like it when the.

[Trixie Mattel]

When the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When the.

[Trixie Mattel]

When the. I don't like the Bamboozlers and. And the. The Ambushers drop in from Boston Conservatory into the. Into the karaoke.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They take it too serious.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're like. They bring their own cd.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They bring their own cd. Don't tell me how to lit. Like, it's like, girl, when they pull

[Trixie Mattel]

out the funny girl thing, it's too much like somebody just saying, jesus, take. You'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a play. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or yeah, Everything's coming up.

[Trixie Mattel]

What do you think?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're Patty. Oh, it is Patty. You know, it's like, oh, she just

[Trixie Mattel]

elbowed me in the face.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She just pushed me. She body checked me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. She told me to sit on a bunch of broken shards.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She doesn't. Patty doesn't just bring her own cd. She brings her own karaoke system in a band. I'm a dolly mariachi, but it's always Sobrero. Everybody only has maracas.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, but it's the heart will go on.

[Ad Narrator]

Hey, real quick, since you didn't pay to skip ads, we're going to assume that you like to save money. And for the sake of this ad, we're also going to assume that you have a cat or a dog. Okay. Lemonade pet insurance can save you up to 90% on vet bills. You definitely know that vet bills can pile up fast, which is why Lemonade settles half of all claims instantly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Super fast.

[Ad Narrator]

And we definitely know that you just want to get back to whatever it is you were just listening to, which

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

is why we'll also settle this ad.

[Ad Narrator]

Like, now get a'@lemonade.com pet.

[Commercial Announcer]

You know that thing where you get an amazing pair of shoes at a really great price and want to tell everyone about it? Yeah. So do we. Here at designer shoe warehouse, we'll give you something to brag about, like the latest styles from brands you love or the trends everyone's obsessing over or shoes that make you feel like, well, you. So go ahead, show off a little bit. Buying shoes that get you and prices

[Trixie Mattel]

that get your budget.

[Commercial Announcer]

Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today. DSW. Let us surprise you.

[Trixie Mattel]

A beautyrest mattress gives you unparalleled motion separation, isolating movement with our pocketed coil technology while providing individualized support for every sleeping position. People at their best get their beautyrest for 100 years.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So, anyway, singing. I will say this about mic drop. Wow, it is beautiful inside. Oh, gorgeous. I'm sorry. The nicest karaoke rooms I've ever been to. Nice service. Like, days later, it started to come back to me and I was like, everybody was so nice. The door service was nice. They were nice at the front desk. Private rooms. Where else Hollywood can even get a private room? So let me pitch this to you people.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bathhouse.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Even if you don't want to Sing.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't make me sing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You could just go rent the private room. Drink with your friends in the padded room.

[Trixie Mattel]

Padded room?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A karaoke. I haven't been in a private karaoke room in so long. It was so fun. And it was. Dude, last time was probably Orville's birthday party at Dave's break room.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wasn't invited.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You weren't. He wanted to bring you. And I said, absolutely not. No, I said, I'm not going. She's going anyway. Snackaterium. It was really fun.

[Trixie Mattel]

I wanna. I wouldn't do that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But drinking, you know, I don't aspire to forget things. Drinking, that was kind of a lot. I woke up like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, then you have to go through the ticker tape.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes. I was like, what happened?

[Trixie Mattel]

The surveillance footage.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I look down, I see a wristband. I'm like, oh. And it's.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then you're chained to a hospital bed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I think it's from a nightclub. It's a hospital. It is someone else's name.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not again. Switch to birth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I also have to tell you, I have a few things I have to tell you. I went to this thing called the Hospital of Emotions.

[Commercial Announcer]

I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What? Okay, lately on TikTok.

[Trixie Mattel]

What the hell are you talking about?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, so late.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Hospital of Emotions.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It happened so lately on. I've noticed I live in.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is this a digital realm?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, this is real.

[Trixie Mattel]

A brick and mortar.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can I tell you?

[Trixie Mattel]

Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a story. So lately I'm like, I live in America's second largest city and I. There's so much of LA I haven't seen or done. I've lived here 10 years. I go to the same few gay bars that I love. But there's so much things not around drinking to do that I don't do because it's daytime and I'm working. Whatever. I had a day off because you were almost dead. And I was like, let's go to the Hospital of Emotions. I saw it online. It's an old hospital that's defunct now. It's not being used. Empty. Not default funk. Like someone walks in and said fake.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love it. It's either funked or defunct.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's defunct. So it's at the hospital. And the people who work there dress as doctors. And each floor is an emotion. And each of these hospital rooms, a different artist has done an installation about that emotion. So like, oh, this is the sadness ward. And every room is an artist took a whole hospital room, ceiling to floor, and transformed it into like an immersive Experience. Okay. And there's joy and there's whatever, all these emotions. Um, sure.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. That sounds riveting.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was cool.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sounds a little corny.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

All these artists are different. So every room was different. It's just like these people's own interpretation. One of them made me cry.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was it the sadness room?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

One of them was a hospital bed. And then floor, ceiling, walls. It was like paintings of almost like stills from a person's life. Like childhood. It's like. And the piece was about like when somebody's on like their deathbed and your family's all around, the people just share stories of person's life. And I, I was like, cynical me.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I don't even like art museums because visual arts kind of bore me sometimes. And that's horrible. But I'm the type of person, when I go to, I'm like, sure, you

[Trixie Mattel]

know, here in front of the lonely, like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Ad Narrator]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Unless it's something that is really, you know, baby didn't go to art school in that way. So baby needs things fed to me. I need to read the plaque. I need it explained to me. Well, and this one really moved me. And so I went from like lol, Me and my boyfriend doing the hospital thing. Haha. We're doing something funky.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

To like. Oh yeah. But it was, it was actually really nice. It was a little pricey. I think it was $85 per person or something.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's insane.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But you know, it is, I think hundreds of artists, installations in one.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, you know, on that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nobody forced me to go.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh no. I think it's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm okay to spend money. I'm not gonna. It's not insulin. I chose to go. It was 85 and I knew about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

And you weren't. Yeah. You weren't tricked or robbed or anything to that point. I think it's interesting to. I think your reaction to visual art is common and I think it's helpful to. When you. Because that is off, that is like the most common thing to hear. And if you go to a good museum, like Art Institute of Chicago or, I mean, I don't know any good museum where there's a lot of stuff.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do go.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm just saying. But I, I, I have felt the same thing that you're feeling and often do that, that somehow there's like an uninterpretable. There's like an art is uninterpretable, like taken out of a context and it does make more. Sometimes it Makes more sense in a context. But if you just like, you can look at a painting and be like. And just look at it and be like, you'll get it. The whole experience, you'll get it. You will get it. If you look at it, you will get it. And reading always helps. Always great to read the thing. If they have more. If they have more information about what. Who painted it and when and what country they're from, it's great. But like, a lot of times people are like. They'll see, like, the Mark Rothko paintings or they'll see. They won't see them in person. They'll see the photographs of them in a. Whatever a magazine or something or a book. Like, this is like. Or on a tweet and like, this is unfucking. This is ridiculous. But you. If you see them in person, it's really something different.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay? It is different. In school, for my. One of my art electives, I had to take a art survey class, which is like an. A class about art. If you're not a visual artist. Art history, which was really interesting. Yeah, history. But also as part of the class, you had to go see something. And I went to see the. Thomas. I think his name is Thomas Kincaid. He did this series called Freak Parade, which was this series of Thomas Kincaid Pick.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not painter of light.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that wrong?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, that's wrong.

[Commercial Announcer]

I'm sorry.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was like. I was like, that's. Where is this going so fierce?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

The way that he painted.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Can you look up Thomas Woodruff? Freak rate. Is that right?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's not Thomas Kincaid. That's the guy who does the little cottage.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Painting up light with the three sons. I know. I'm sorry.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, it's. It's a. Beers.

[Commercial Announcer]

Like this.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that his name? I just typed in Thomas Wood. Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I saw this in college. This was a long time ago.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But seeing it online, buying the ticket. This is my first time as a big boy. Adult. 19, whatever. Going to an art show on my own for a class, I guess, because I had to go. But seeing the scale of the pieces in person changed everything. It made the experience. I remember it like yesterday. I remember which ones are my favorite. Yeah. And then I. Jennifer took me to the Broad, and I saw the. Don't remember their names. The giant dining room table. The giant dining room table.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And that was so physical and, like, imposing because it's so big. You're, like, standing on a giant table. I guess maybe I have a difficulty understanding I police myself on what I think I meant to feel.

[Walmart Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then I get in my head about what I'm supposed to be experiencing, and I try to instead be like, the artist is also not in charge of what I feel when I see this. Yeah. It's actually an independent experience. That plaque exists. But it's not like I have to have an experience and then fact check what I felt to make it like. Yeah. I'm allowed to just be like, that's a big table, and keep walking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Totally.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Even if that's a shallow experience. That's the experience I have.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's. But that's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think that the shallow experience is the experience. And it's like that, you know, everyone.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I always feel like someone around the corner is crying. Being like, this piece means so much. And I'm like, that table's big. You know, if that's my experience.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, it's great because I. When I went to. It also depends on what's going on and where you are sort of in your life and what. Where your interests are. When I was at the Art Institute of Chicago last time, I was tweaking out at the furniture section. Tweaking at American, like, turn of the century, like, 18th, 19th century furniture to. I was rubbing the skin raw.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You loved it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Loved it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because. Why.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was just. I wanted to buy a house, and I was. Wanted to. I was like, she covets. Exactly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She.

[Trixie Mattel]

She noticed. She sees what she doesn't have. And I was like, all this incredible lacquer furniture. I was like, oh, my God. It was, like, nutting everywhere. But then, you know, it's a shallow experience. And then it can. It can have depth, but it's like when you jump in the shot, when. When you jump into a pond, of course it's shallow at first.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right. You're giving yourself permission to, like, just look at it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Just look at it and just look at it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I guess that's the part that. I don't know. I'm 36. I'm just now having better experiences at art museums because I. I understand that the experience is kind of independent.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And as an adult, going with a group and saying, this is what I like. What do you like about it? Or what? Like, we were under this giant table, and Jennifer was like, this is so cool. You're gonna love it. And it was the other thing that everyone goes to see at the Broad. The mirror that goes on forever. Like, lights and mirrors that go on forever. Anyway, we wait in line to see that the giant table to me made me think of when I was younger and I was like, maybe that's just so surface and obvious. It just makes me think of being a kid. That's perfect. Maybe that's okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's totally okay. See, it's the judgment of the thought that is the problem.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It gets in the way of me actually having the present experience.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because when the. You. The knee jerk reaction is so important because it's the first reaction, it's before

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I get my way.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like, that's what I felt.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're like, ew. Or like, whoa. Or like, ah. Or like, or like anything. Like that's really important to say that. That's important. It's also really. It's really elitist and it's really, I think, misguided to. To discount that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nobody made me feel this way. I did it to myself.

[Walmart Ad Voice]

Sure.

[Trixie Mattel]

But. But that's so. But it's very common. And so I remember back in, in, in school when this guy who was like one of those cool guys, one of those cool art guys, and his whole work was basically surveillance footage and I was like, okay, it's the opposite. It's the opposite. It's the opposite. It's like my knee jerk reaction. I'm. I think that I'm. I'm. I'm prejudging my knee jerk reaction to this, which is. This is. Oh, is this boring? It's meaningless. And then I'm like, well, what. But I, But I. But how could it possibly. He's so cool. And then I was like. I was like, no, no, looking back, I'm like, that was trash.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Trash.

[Trixie Mattel]

That was trash. It was pretentious. It wasn't. It wasn't aesthetic. It was like anti. It was just like, this is trash. Trash. Conceptual trash. There's no. It's trash. It doesn't even. It's not even worth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But even having that emotion.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You got an experience out of it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm not saying his, his plan was speed up the experience.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no. His plan was to be like, I'm going to present something that's so sort of like, sort of wrapped in this, like, shitty veneer, being so technical and elusive and, and aloof and, and meticulously constructed was like, yeah, but it sucks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, whereas that giant Goya painting is like, whoa. And that's like just. That is good enough. And then there's a lot more to it. Of course. There's like, whatever, but. And also with paintings. And I just love thinking about it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, it depends. Like in college we used to, because I was a musical theater student, we used to have to watch all the dance concerts that the students would put on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh God, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And obviously on the surface level, the physical ability of young dancers is already marvelous.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But beyond that, I often felt pea brained in a way where I was like, I don't know what this piece is about.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I couldn't tell you what any of this is about. It reminds me of what I went to the young composers recitals in college that were like a lot of modern composers. Atonal, arrhythmic.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it made me feel like, am I just like not able to enjoy this? Is it weird? Am I, what is it about this that makes me feel so. Yeah. Like, like tone deaf to it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I think though, a lot of those, that stuff like the, you know, the, the, the pivotal, iconoclastic or like groundbreaking pivots in, in the, in the history of art, especially in contemporary art, is like. Well, yeah, they're, they're, they're, they. That's a con. It's in a context that is, is helpful to be understood if you're studying it. I mean, if you find yourself in the, in a contemporary dance performance where the composer is like, you know what? We were gonna do Vivaldi, but I think we're just gonna go with a dentist drill.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, like. And we're gonna do it for an hour. And so it's antagonistic and it's like. But that's a, that's a conscious choice because it's like revolting. It's like there's a revolt there. And it's obviously intended to make the audience feel discomfort and that's gonna be met with discomfort. So it's like they're not really going towards like romantic beauty and, and awe and lush like oh, the human body and like, oh, these patterns and these shapes and this rhythm and this flow and this like repetition, variation. They're just like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And also like, we're like to, to put a bow on it. The experience you have, which is, that was weird. I didn't get it. Is also completely valid. Valid. It's as valid as saying, I totally got it right.

[Trixie Mattel]

All that non binary tea is valid.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Last night I texted you at like 1:30am my non binary tea is so valid. And you didn't say anything back. I was like, month really is over.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was letting it sit because I had a knee jerk reaction.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Feel like I just.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, I, this is, I really love this because only now. You know what I thought about when you said that was like, I only think that now after living for 40 something years. 30, 14. I am qualified. Or that I could get something out of art school now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel the same way.

[Trixie Mattel]

Only now undergraduate. I'm not talking graduate, I'm talking undergraduate. Like literally undergraduate.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I've been like, I wonder if I would have the same experience in like the Level 1 music theory classes that I hated taking. I bet I would go in there and love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I bet I would go home thinking about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Visual layer.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would be a try hard bitch.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, that. I would be the only.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I would say after. I'd be like, I love. That's. This lesson today was amazing.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'd be the only unconventional student eating in the video bay till 9pm Irritating. Irritating. Are you still in there? Yes. I. I just. Yeah, irritating.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I. And I think back of being like young and just being like, I'm paying all this money to be here in class and I'm pissed.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pissed at an 8am class for art

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

for the thing I love. Art for the thing I love.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, the thing I left that ass university for.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Crazy. Can I tell you what else happened to me? Speaking of art.

[Trixie Mattel]

So wait, how did the drinking happen to you?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do you mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

You said at the top that. I want to tell you about this. This. This time when the drink.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Somebody made the drinks. I was at a bar. I didn't go back there and make it myself. A server brought it to me. Someone bought it for me. Any other questions? Now we're gonna pivot to my substance abuse. This is so fucked. I hate it here. This room is bogus.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think that. Well, I think you might have a problem.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do have a fucking problem, bitch. And it's sitting over here.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, it's your fat ass. Let's check in on the serta. Counting sheep. Why aren't we counting anymore? Well, the all new Certa Perfect sleeper has the Q4 support system that helps relieve aches and back pain. We'll never get counted again.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nope.

[Trixie Mattel]

Serta, we make the world's best mattress.

[Commercial Announcer]

You know that thing where you get an amazing pair of shoes at a really great price and want to tell everyone about it? Yeah, so do we. Here at Designer Shoe Warehouse. We'll give you something to brag about, like the latest styles from brands you love or the trends everyone's obsessing over or shoes that make you feel like. Well, you. So go ahead, show off a little. Buying shoes that get you and Prices

[Trixie Mattel]

that get your budget.

[Commercial Announcer]

Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today. DSW.

[Walmart Ad Voice]

Let us surprise you Walmart shoppers. Meet the debit card design with you in mind. The Walmart Money Card offers up to $75 cash back on purchases at Walmart each year. Early direct deposit, overdraft protection, and so much more. When Walmart is your everyday store, you need a card to match. That's the Walmart Money Card. Open your account today. The Walmart Money Card is issued by Green DOT Bank Member FDIC. Fees, terms and conditions apply. Visit WalmartMoneyCard.com to learn more.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So I went to Philly because. Keys. I went to Philly to do a gig with the Philly Orchestra. Philadelphia Orchestra. The gay, gay. Gay. Was I gay?

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, was it gay?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was a pride. It was like a pride.

[Trixie Mattel]

Rainbow, right? You wore this beautiful rainbow dress.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's lovely.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, I don't love rainbow.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't either.

[Trixie Mattel]

You looked beautiful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you. It's technically a TV dress. Like the. The lines on the tv.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Which is a fun way to wear rainbow.

[Trixie Mattel]

That was. Oh, that's right. It was like that. Yes, yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because I have a hard time with

[Trixie Mattel]

rainbow, and many do and should, but

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I think the colors broken up in a different way. It's beautiful.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's great. Very clever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I didn't say I don't get it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. So the orchestra is so huge and fantastic. I mean, they have albums upon albums. Some of the people in the orchestra have been in it for 50 years.

[Trixie Mattel]

What did they think of your gay ass when you strolled up on that thing and like, Lydia Tarr.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I asked a lot of questions about it because it's like a fine arts thing. And when you're a Dragoon and you're doing fine arts for a change, you,

[Trixie Mattel]

like, wait, so I can't make a mistake?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you're kind of like, okay, well, I better, like, wear nice hair and wear a nice dress and not say the F word. And you know what I mean? Like, yeah, let me check in there. Like, all right. Because, you know, I'm a musician. I'm excited to be invited. And they told me I could do, like, I have to do, like a 10 minute block of like, whatever performance I want. They said, we request, like, one of your maybe comedy numbers you do with your guitar. I said, sure. So I did Rich people.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Which is funny. But of course, has a few course moments. I talk about, like, I joke about rich people wearing Fur and underage prostitutes and stuff. It's more like making fun of the. The morals of the rich.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, of course. Of which you are a part, I guess. But I'm not underage model.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We're in furs.

[Trixie Mattel]

And yeah, you're not underage people with a fur coat on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right. One of the jokes is, like, rich people, don't you hate it when the valet smokes in your car and you have to throw the whole thing away?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's great.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dumb.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's great.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dumb.

[Walmart Ad Voice]

Great.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I do that little number, and that's fun. And then I decided to sing this other number I have working on called Till Death Do Us Part. And I was like, sometimes you got to try a number in front of people. You just got to get the baby out of your uterus once to then go home and actually, like, strangle it with it. Yeah, strangle it with the umbilical cord. So I do that, and it all works, and it's fun. But before the show, I'm thinking of my high school band teacher who taught me to read music. And I go. I text her because, you know, crazy. The Philly Orchestra. Like, world famous.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wild.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm like, I can't believe I get to even be on the stage with these people. You know, a whole orchestra. There's like, 100 people on stage. And I text her, and I'm like, I just got to tell you, like, I just did this remix for Duran Duran, and I'm getting to do this gig this week with the Philly Orchestra. Sometimes as a musician, I just. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for you. Like, teach me how to read music and teach me how to, like, respect it and all that. I just. I owe you so much. And she responded like, you're welcome. And then I said, like. I was like, I just. I love. You know, you taught me so much, and you're just so giving, and I don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like, I couldn't do. I could never do, like, all this without you. You just gave me so much. I said. I forget what I said. And she said, yeah, I'm gonna go work in my garden. Which is completely fine. Like, I'm not trying. I'm. I'm making her do this. Magnum. Mister. Mr. Holland's office.

[Trixie Mattel]

You're good hunting her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're goodwill hunting her. Yeah, girl, go do your gig. Which is. Which is also that. That tea is very valuable.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's like, who is this number? What is this?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But also, I don't expect an older person to text like she's an older person. It's going to be like short phrases. Happy Friday. You know what I mean? Like, yes, Happy Friday. So it's just so funny. Message finds you. Yeah, it was, it was funny. But she did great. But she did acknowledge me and say thank you. That's nice to say thank you. But I'm.

[Trixie Mattel]

I guess what I'm said happy birthday to.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm inflating this to be like. I wanted like tearful texting back.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, you wanted a video. I want like you were like where she, she, she. Viola Davis not cried for like 10 minutes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right? I mean she knew I was. It's not like she was like, were you absent a lot? Who are you? But she, you know, but. And then at the gig they ended with Born this Way and I had my guitar there and they were like, we want to do a group number at the end. And they said, I'm standing there in full drag with my little guitar and they go, do you know Born this Way? I said, am I a Nicky fan?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, no matter black, white or beige

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Orient made Not to mention no matter

[Trixie Mattel]

black, white or beige Chola or Orient maid oh, there ain't no other way

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love Born this way. But Born this way is absolutely over and over again. It's three chords.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is it really?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's Born this Way. Born this way. Right? Check. Baby. Born this way. So it was just funny to be in of front full dragon.

[Trixie Mattel]

Let's wind that back, tootsie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What do you. Let's wind that back.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's it. But, but I. I need more further convincing. Yeah, that didn't sound like Born this Way. Didn't sound like O there way. Oh, but what about the chorus?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love Born this way.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about the chorus? O there right? No, all the way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Lebanese. You're orus.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, you're Lebanese. What if. What if, what if? You know, be fe. If your band teacher had been like, you're Lebanese.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What is text back, you're Orient your Lebanese. You're Orient, your black white chola beige descent.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like you said the first thing. Oh my God. And then she's like, you're Lebanese.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Y o u r. Doesn't she say black widow beige?

[Trixie Mattel]

No matter black wire, beige chola or Orient made. So like I think about it two to three times a day. No, I'm not joking. I think about it two to three times that every single day. I want to know what kind of chamomile tea and honey honey dipped drops. People would put it in the, in the in the lovely little lush booth. And then they were like, so it's no matter a black, white, or beige, chola or orient made.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I'm trying. I was born to be brave.

[Trixie Mattel]

No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian,

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

transgender life, I'm on the right track, baby. I was born to survive. I do like that lyric.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was born to survive. Survive, survive.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay, I understand this. That section is clunky. But I love Born this Way. No, no, love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I'm not making fun of it being three chords because brilliant. Love the song.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't think that. That I. I don't think it's just

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

funny that I'm in full drag with a guitar. And she goes, do you know the song Born this Way by Lady Gaga? I go, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do I have breasts in a pussy?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was Aaron Brock. I said, what key would you like it in?

[Trixie Mattel]

You're like, you want black, you want white, you want beige?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I'm such an fpg. I go, isn't it in G major? Yeah. And then they bring me the conductor score. So then the conductor score is like, every part in the orchestra fierce. Like a big.

[Trixie Mattel]

Were you doing this? Were you doing this?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And the COVID of it says, like, Born this Way, written by Stephanie Germanotta. You know what I mean? It's like a orchestral version. And so I'm standing there in my dragoon, my fine arts dragoon with my orchestral score with the piano going, oh, yeah, I got that. Reading through it, I'm like, oh, my God. I'm sight reading it. Like it's a serious orchestral piece, and it's literally just Born this Way. I give the paperback. I'm like, I'll see you at the

[Trixie Mattel]

end of the show. Yeah, I think I could. It could work.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I had a really fun time. And I asked them, I said, is this a ticketed event? And they said it was free. And I was like, think of all these fags who are here who probably never go to see fine arts things like this, who are here just because of this. I thought it was sweet. I had a really good time.

[Trixie Mattel]

I think it's wonderful. It's a triumph.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a triumph.

[Trixie Mattel]

Triumph.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was. It was fun.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was really triumphant for, you know,

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

whether you just feel funny to walk out there and sing your dumb song about rich people when these serious world famous orchestra musicians are sitting right there with their little violins watching you do your actual dog and pony clown show.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like it when I like Looking at. I watch this Dune sound. Hans. This Hans Zimmerman Dune soundtrack thing by an orchestra. A video on YouTube. And it was so cunt. And there. I like it when the. When the certain sections are just sitting there because they're, like, just waiting for their. You know, if they have a big break.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, they just chill.

[Trixie Mattel]

They just. They are like. They're not like. They're not like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, they sit.

[Trixie Mattel]

They sit there like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what's crazy, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

But there was a cello player, Mary. She had a. She had a head of hair like a Pantene Pro V model. And the way that she was catching the lens of that camera, every time it swung around, it was a man. And he was like, just. He was like. I mean, it was like. He was like. It was like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

He was like Witches of Eastwick.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yes.

[Walmart Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

It started on fire. And he's like. And all of a sudden, frizzy hair, crazy. Daryl Van Horn was just pumping him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I love that part where after she gets all whored out and she goes into school and she. They played the shitty song.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She goes, we're gonna do this one more time. And we're. What did she say? We're gonna play this on account of four.

[Trixie Mattel]

We're gonna play the. Out of this thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And she gets them, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

With that big.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No bra. I also love when she's in the supermarket saying, double. Double chocolate. These are fabulous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

These. Double. Double chocolate. These are fabulous.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then she's eating people's. What did you say? You heard her, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

All because she.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What, has sunglasses on?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, she's eating pickles out of a jar. And she's not wearing a bra. She's not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Now, where do you stand on eating out of the food that you haven't bought yet at the grocery store? Because I think one or two grapes never killed anybody. But I think if you're gonna open up the raw meat or something, like, you know, you better have those.

[Trixie Mattel]

Those.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But imagine having bitten out of apple to the cashier and saying, skin it.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no. So the thing is. So it's a.

[Ad Narrator]

It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What if that's plastic? What if it's actually sealed? Can you open it, start eating it?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, we can't do. We can't eat in the grocery store

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

because I think people are. What about goldfish crackers?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, you can. Okay. No, nobody's. So we can't eat in the grocery store because they're ignoring the very essential, important rule is that you don't go to the grocery store starving to death.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

LA's LA is not even hygienic because people.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bad choices.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

People have their £270, your mastiffs in the produce section in LA. Do you understand? Okay, there's dog hair right on your cel.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about this? You go, Is it Erewhon Aran? I think they have aisles that are about 18 inches long.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

And then they go. So I. I'm. My name is Janette. I live in Westwood and I walk. I've got my double wide stroller with my two obnoxious children and also my Great Dane family of dogs.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

And I'm. And I'm on my phone, of course.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And my au pair is outside idling the car.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thank you. Yeah. And so I. And I'm in. I'm just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's your girl.

[Trixie Mattel]

What's that? What's that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Have you been to a place and

[Trixie Mattel]

I got to get my. I got to get my $38 jar of olives. One ounce.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Have you been to a place called Trader fucking Joe's? They have no food. Raw. WWE Raw. But you will get punched in the face.

[Trixie Mattel]

They got no food there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, they have no food.

[Trixie Mattel]

They have no food. Trader Joe had no. He's traded. Do you know what it is, girl? He's got no food up in there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thing is, it's like, I wonder what types of saltines they have. One kind, but there are no options. Maybe one pack of gum, one brand of milk, one size.

[Trixie Mattel]

But they try to. They really try to throw you for a loop with that Trader Joto.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We don't have cherry tomatoes. We have cherries sitting next tomatoes.

[Trixie Mattel]

These are all traders with the G or the J gal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who's Trader Julio?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, if it's Italian, it's. If it's Spanish, they say Trader Joto. The Trader Joto span pasta. Oh, yeah, baby. And if it's like, you know, Trader Dracula's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But the people, unlike Tick Tock and stuff, the people. The way people talk about, like, if you don't get out to Trader Joe's and get the buffalo pizza dip, I'm gonna kill myself. They treat the proprietary value of these. Trader Joe's, it's Big Joe, It's Big Are coveted. If you go in the Franklin Mint lockup, it's Trader Joe's. Schmears.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's a joke.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And it's like this is the black olive and hot pickle honey ice cream. It's sort of like the. At Ross. The impulse aisle at Ross. Oh, the popcorn Flavor gum. The freaky.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, oh, the, the, the. The peanut butter Remote controllers. It's like you can lick it and change the channel.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh my God. My hair tie tastes like cotton candy.

[Trixie Mattel]

We weird my jelly flavored sandals.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But over trader. Can I tell you about Trader Joe's? You will get body checked. Trying to get your o. Grotted potatoes. Do you understand the aggressiveness, the behavior? Couples therapy for Trader Joe's couple.

[Trixie Mattel]

Trader Joto's therapy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What I do like about Trader Joe's is you can get. It's a. It's kind of like Gelson's where it's small. You can get around the store quickly. You go to these big stores.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no. Yeah, it's nice and small.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There's the back rooms.

[Trixie Mattel]

You, you, you, you, you, you. There's nice and small with no food in there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What about Costco, though?

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, that's a whole nother animal. That's not even on the same level. Trader Joe's has approximately 1700 bottles of wine and no food. I'm sorry, is this a liquor store? I swear to God it's true. I'm only talking about the one in Weho on 8,000 Sunset.

[Commercial Announcer]

It's true.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's true.

[Ad Narrator]

True.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But now you know the truth about this one. Pump it up.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, my God. You walk in there, you're like, how many boxes of wine did you need today, ma'?

[Walmart Ad Voice]

Am?

[Trixie Mattel]

Or how many giant jugs of chardonnay? Well, I was just looking for pickles. No, we don't have it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And you know what else they got at Trader Joe's too? It's like I. I'm. I'm looking for. I'm looking for a Reese's Peanut Butter cup brand. Like the brand of the. I'm looking for this brand. They said, well, what we do have is six pound bags of Trader Joe's brand circus peanuts or black licorice. They got weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know what. And then I. I hate circus peanuts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I hate them.

[Trixie Mattel]

What are they? Oh, they're those.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are the other ones chewy?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's the flavor of a circus peanut? Is it trying to be like, nutty?

[Trixie Mattel]

Is it a real peanut or is it a candy?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's marshmallow. It is not a marshmallow.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, those are just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That is such a lie.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're horrible. It's like non pareils. Just don't make them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Don't make them non paral.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's a ass faux candy. They're banana flavored.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's a lie.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, they.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They Are they call it a circus peanut because they're clowns over there.

[Trixie Mattel]

But then. And then once you. If you do manage to find any non liquor items at Trader Joe's and you want to go to the checkout, what is the protocol, girl, there's no

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

counter, there's no bags.

[Trixie Mattel]

What is the.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

What is the protocol? Do I wait back there? Do I go up to a thing? They're all flat. But what I. I. The way I've been clowned and humiliated every single time. Every single time I try to make some kind of. Like I try to get in some kind of line or I kind of try to wait my turn, I'm like very, very conscious. I don't have my headphones in. I'm like, what's going on? What's happening? People are flagging you or not flagging you. All of a sudden, people was like, oh, hello.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You just.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hello.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're just trying to get your dark, extra dark pretzels and leave.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I wanted the milk chocolate.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right?

[Trixie Mattel]

But. But like, how many. How many goblets of burgundy did you need?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Carlo Rossi. Well, have you ever gone to the grocery store? Have you ever ordered carry out for holiday food from grocery stores? Okay. I have recently been exposed to this where instead of your family cooking, somebody just goes and picks up 10 chickens. Not chickens, but like turkeys. It's like a la carte. We're gonna have a family sized serving of mashed potatoes. This even if you order ahead of time, Even if you pick it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Ultimate betrayal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it's like a line around the store. People are breathless.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Last time. Last time I picked up, though, was it at Gelson's? We forgot something.

[Trixie Mattel]

Was it a Gelson's?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, it was out of state.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

We forgot some fresh. Fresh time. Fresh. Fresh market. Fresh time market or whatever trans person recognized me, gave you a free box of wine. Didn't just give me the hookup. But something from my order was missing. Ran out to the parking lot, found me and make sure I had it. Pete Hegses wants. Pete Hegseth wants to give hormone replacement therapy. No, Pete Access wants to give testosterone therapy to people in the army. But they don't want to make sure that trans people in this country have access to hormone therapy.

[Trixie Mattel]

They don't want to make sure stocks their house with food.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They don't peg says it behind that too. Rfk. Everything's gonna be. Rfk. Needs to go down to Trader Joe's and do something.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, he needs to. He and Cheryl. What if the red M M's were white? What if it's not a box of. Why do we have food?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I gotta go. No, we gotta go. We gotta go. Talk about All Stars on the Peaceler.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah, we do. But before we do that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Trixie Mattel]

When will they know how to clap?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's what I had a dream about. I had a dream about RuPaul saying, Everyone say love.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, chilling. The terrifier she was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It was a dark room and she was standing there going, everybody say love.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thank you,

[Walmart Ad Voice]

Walmart shoppers, meet the debit card design. With you in mind, the Walmart Money Card offers up to $75 cash back on purchases at Walmart each year. Early direct deposit, overdraft protection and. And so much more. When Walmart is your everyday store, you need a card to match. That's the Walmart Money Card. Open your account today. The Walmart Money Card is issued by Green DOT Bank Member FDIC. Fees, terms and conditions apply. Visit WalmartMoneyCard.com to learn more.