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Angie Hicks
This podcast is brought to you by Aura. Aura monitors the dark web for users phone numbers, emails and Social Security numbers, delivering real time alerts if any suspicious activity is detected. For a limited time, Aura is offering our listeners a 14 day trial plus a check of your data to see if your personal information has been leaked online. All for free. When you visit aura.com defense that's aura.com defens to to sign up for a 14 day free trial and start protecting you and your loved ones. That's a u r a.com defense. Certain terms apply, so be sure to check the site for details. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of angie and one thing I've learned is.
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That you buy a house, but you make it a home. Because with every fix, update and renovation, it becomes a little more your own. So you need all your jobs done well.
Angie Hicks
For nearly 30 years, Angie has helped.
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Millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter.
Angie Hicks
From plumbing to electrical, roof repair to deck upgrades. So leave it to the pros who.
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Will get your jobs done well.
Angie Hicks
Hire high quality pros@angie.com hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of Angie. When you use Angie for your home.
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Projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. Roof repair, done well.
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Kitchen sink install, done well.
Angie Hicks
Deck upgrades, done well.
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Electrical upgrade, done well. Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years. So. So we know the difference between done and done well. Hire high quality pros@angie.com well, what the fuck, bitch Chili and Barbary We. Wait a minute. Let's, let's, let's talk about, let's talk about the New York condition where there's New York condition at your home.
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Oh, oh no.
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Is it cunty? Is it cold? Are you proud to serve it well, they had to airlift an air conditioner on top of your building.
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It was harrowing. But the man who did it, I think he is a star. You know how sometimes you see like Barbra Streisand on stage, gets a standing ovation every night? Yeah. This man needs that kind of adulation. He deserves it.
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Would you be willing to throw neck. Yes.
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Throw neck for ac.
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Throw neck for ac.
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Actually train my neck for AC for.
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The good ac, baby. Round on me.
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Five ton unit. I'm at the end. He had to go through the wires on a, in somebody else's driveway. It was like, it was basically like Fast and the Furious except not a lot of movement.
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Right. So when most fags in West Hollywood are getting Units installed on the head. You're getting units installed on top of the building. When I got brand new air conditioning, brand new central air conditioning. It was $9,000.
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15.
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Honey, they don't tell you about that?
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15. Well, yeah, they did tell me about.
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They do tell you, and then they make sure you're okay with it and then they install it. But still. But I. I think on my building, they have roof access through the stairs. They didn't do a crane or anything. They just carried it.
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They carried a five ton unit.
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The blower. The. The blow. The blower.
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The whole system.
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Yeah, they carried it.
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A five ton. Oh, it must be a different kind of unit then. I don't know.
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Wasn't five ton. It's one individual unit for my.
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Oh, like a little wall. Like a little. Hangs out with the window.
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A central air unit. Oh, but they didn't. You know, I don't. It's crazy. I had to drop it with the helicopter dolls of life.
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It was. It was nerve wracking. But let me tell you about this place. So the. The. I am now fairly certain, 98% sure that in a previous life, I was the only serial killer, because I am paying for it. In this life. This house is unclean.
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I saw your story last night. What's going on?
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The only functioning bathroom now has become non functional.
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There's a leak.
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Mm. A fierce one, too. Like, I don't know how she materialized. I feel like she went through a wormhole because the. The floorboards are buckling.
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You're lying.
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I'm not lying. I'm like.
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He.
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He's like, hey, I want to show you something. I was like, something good. He's like, no. And he showed it to me and was like, I was just in there three hours ago. I didn't notice that. It's just fierce. It. It's fierce. It's fierce.
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You'll never buy a home again, mama. This bitch will be renting till the day she dies.
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Till the day I die. And let me ask you something. As a homeowner, very successful homeowner. Do you think so? I'm at the point now, like, in terms of, like, fixing the place and renovating it, where I have to make design choices.
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Sure.
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The only exciting part of this process.
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Right?
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Right. The only exciting part. The only autumn sunrise. The only fulfilling part. The only good part of it right now. But I'm faced with a. With a. It's like, do I. Do I make bold decisions that only I will love and that a future occupant. Perhaps will not love. And that I'll have to change in order to sell the house. What do you. What do I do?
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Can I say that the musical Rent is about the trials and tribulations of trying to pay rent. But the only thing worse than that is being able to pay a mortgage for a home that's decomposing in front of you.
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Mama. She said it's like hiring a hooker that's dead. You didn't realize that she had no pulse and you're stuck with her the whole night.
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Damn.
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It sucks.
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I mean, you gotta.
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The dead body, but it's gonna be gross.
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It's. No, it sucks. I mean. I mean, I say having a landlord can suck too because sometimes breaks and they barely care.
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Yes.
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So that also sucks.
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That also sucks. I've certainly been in that position. I've rented most of my life. I have to say it is a much less stressful situation because you can also. The only thing at stake is your security deposit. Your security deposit. And nobody gets that back. So just.
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You should really make peace with the fact that you never get this.
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You know, that's what I think Todd Oldham is like. You know what? Do whatever you want to that place because you're never going to get the deposit back.
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Amy Sedaris called it a creativity fee.
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Yeah. Yeah. That's what. Yeah.
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Say goodbye to it.
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Exactly.
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On the walls. On the walls.
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And hang some pong pongs all over these walls.
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Ray.
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So I got two black toilets coming. Now we need a third.
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How many bathrooms do you have?
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Four.
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You only have one functional bathroom right now.
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Now it's zero. Yeah. You want to shit in my place? Gotta go outside. Find another toilet. Dig a hole. Damn. Go to the Wendy's. Ask for the code.
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I'm sorry.
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Yeah, it sucks. It's. You know, it's like. It's a lemon.
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It's a lemon. You're driving a lemon.
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You're living a lemon. You don't want to drive a lemon. Yeah, yeah. You don't want to drive a lemon because it's such danger.
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Right?
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You know, like you're speeding down the highway at 95 miles an hour, then the car just explodes.
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Yeah. You know, can ask. What are we going to do in Santa Barbara tonight?
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Oh, I don't know.
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Katie and I are going to.
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Nobody will get. Have you ever had a 48 hour orgasm? No, I've never been to Santa Barbara. That's it. That's all I got. That's material.
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Well, we're going to Santa Barbara. To speak to the children about their futures. Like, yeah, should we do like a what not to do?
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I think I've already done that.
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A gonorrhea presentation.
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Like, no, I, I found the questions in the moderate. Like I went through the sheet and I was like, this is going to be fun because the questions by the that the moderator is gonna like use are really good.
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There's usually at these college events there's a non binary person who gets it who like asks funny questions.
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And yeah, the Q a is only 15 minutes, but the, the moderated Q A or the moderated discussion is very well composed. So I'm looking forward to it. It's just a long drive. What are we gonna do in the car? I'm gonna have to finger myself.
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I'm gonna let AI write it. Ran through chat GPT. Oh my God.
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Did you.
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Wait, did you see the SEC. Okay. Do you know Linda McMahon?
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No.
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She used to be, I believe, a manager for wrestling. WWF Linda McMahon.
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Oh, what?
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So she's now the Secretary of Education of the United States, which you might not.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So it went from Tracy DeVos to.
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Former professional wrestling promoter promoter Linda McMahon from WWF videos of like people hitting show with chairs and stuff.
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You can't think of. I mean, what a better, what better candidate could you think of?
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This. We long for the days of Betsy Dubos.
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Yeah.
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She miss how on the ball she was. My God. Because she watched, you know, a show about a teacher once.
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Yeah.
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So now we got Linda McMahon, who I guess whenever she needs to solve a problem is going to with a chair. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
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She's going to jump off the rail. I don't climb to the top of something. Jump off.
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So I brought an audio for you because this is Linda McMahon, who is now our secretary, Secretary of Education, United States. And she is on the world stage discussing the involvement of AI Artificial intelligence. Right. And she gets on the microphone and she talks about it. And I swear to God, I swear to God in front of the world, this is what she says.
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First graders or even pre ks have A1 teaching, you know, every year starting, you know, that far down in the grades. Now. Okay, let's do see a 1.
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And how, and how can that be helpful?
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How can it be helpful in one on one instruction? First graders or even.
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She's calling it A1. She doesn't even know that it's AI. Swear to God. Swear to God.
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A1 steak sauce. You know, every year Starting, you know, secretary of education. A1 steak sauce. Okay, let's do see A1. And how.
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And how can that be?
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She's. She wants steak sauce.
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She's saying maybe we should, you know, embrace. I think she's trying to say kind of embrace AI and let it do some of our pre K teaching.
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We should also spray some chat DDT on some people. Like, what the. That's that for real?
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The Secretary of Education of the United States can't read. Can't. Doesn't even bother to brief themselves on what AI is not only what it stands for, but what is the difference between I and one?
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I'm. I mean, I can't tell.
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We live in the worst timeline possible. And sometimes things like that happen and I'm like, maybe you and I are geniuses.
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Yeah, maybe the dark ages were onto something.
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Turn the lights off.
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Yeah.
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Turn the wigs around, Dina.
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Yeah, maybe those that 1200. Yeah, maybe.
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You know. You know how bad I wish that aliens would show up and like signs. They would pick me up with the wrist with the little poison right in the face. Just kill me.
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Yeah, just rip my face off. Where's that chimp? Get that chimp to just rip my fucking face off.
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And you know, I always wanted to go to Santa Barbara.
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You did?
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But I don't think we're gonna have the experience I wanted because I wanted gorgeous beaches.
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Oh, you want big little lies.
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I wanted to go sit on a porch and have a like a wine jam.
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Yes. You wanted to sprinkle some dried flowers.
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100. I wanted to use kind of like, like spices and kind of wear an afghan and write a book. And instead we're going to the college.
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Oh, shit. I want to share something too, but maybe I should just shut the up about Meghan Markle.
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No, let's go for it.
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Okay. Okay. So Meg. I'm obsessed with Meghan Markle. And you know, ironically, of course, it's just so diabolical, these email addresses that sort of like names again that you would never guess that I will give them at some point in their lives when they're older. But before I go to bed almost every night, I email them.
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Wow.
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I email because it doesn't have to be a heavy lift. And you email them like, here's your report card from today. Or, oh my gosh, was it the funniest thing this morning? Or here's a picture of you two having breakfast. Or here's you playing with the. The things that you're not going to frame the things that you're not going to put pen to paper in a journal, but they will end up one at one point in their life. Maybe when they're 16 or when they're 18. That I say, here's an email that I've been keeping for you.
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I have full body chills right now. For your whole life. Well, okay. Can I say I think that what she's doing is kind of sweet, but full body chills. What happens if you fuck? You explode. I have full body chills the way full body chills.
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My problem with Meghan Markle is not her. It's this culture around her that allows her to be front and center. That host should be sent to prison.
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I have chills.
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Full body chills. I have chills from emails that you're sending your future children. Your children in the future. The other one was when she was talking about the magic of sprinkling dried flowers over everything. Sometimes you just need a little magic in your life. And the.
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These want to be Martha Stewart so bad, Mama.
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They want to so bad. And they will never.
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I was watching this.
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They will never.
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I was watching this Martha Stewart clip the other day, and she took. She served chill vodka.
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Okay.
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And she took an emptied out milk crate, like not wooden paper milk crate. Right. Old style.
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Okay.
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And then she put a bottle of vodka in there and filled it to the top with water and put in flowers. So then when she was serving it, she's serving a bottle of vodka frozen in a block of ice with dried, with flowers in it.
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Wow. I have full body chills.
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That's a country, but I think that's a country way to serve vodka. And frankly, Martha is doing it in the way that the girls, that the Markles can't. It's not Markle Stewart.
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No.
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Thank you.
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No. And I suffered through a couple of episodes of her Netflix show. The 1. The episode with Mindy Kaling is so. It's so challenging to watch. And basically they're creating like a princess tea party. And there are no children in the episode at all. So it's these two grown women in this, like, ridiculously ornate, you know, set. And of course, this is all happening in her home, which is not her home.
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Right.
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And it's just so wild. It's like, it's just so extravagant. It's so useless. It's so, like, frivolous. But it's. Yeah. It made me appreciate Martha Stewart so much. Martha is an expert.
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She is. And she makes things accessible. I guess what I like about her is she's saying Like, I am fancy. And I'm gonna show you how to make something fancy for you. Even if you don't have the money to pay for it, you can do it yourself. Yeah, I guess I have to ask also.
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I love her. She's fucking funny.
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What is Meghan Markle giving us?
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So it's.
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What are we receiving?
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We're receiving a person who is editing and directing themselves so fiercely that they're like, I wish I could tell her, just be a princess. Be unrelatable. Be extravagant. Be, like, untouchable. Because essentially, that's the life you're living. This extremely wealthy, privileged life. Princess.
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Right.
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You know, Duchess of Sussex, whatever. And. But she's trying so hard to be, like, a normal person.
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Right.
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And this is the way that I talk. And I just found that so interesting. And I just wanted to connect to.
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Something, you know, it's giving. It's giving Reiki. Yeah, it's very. 1.
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Without any of the mystery. Without any of the mystery. Because it's all, like, just. It's all very real stuff. I, you know, I take some dried flower petals and I sprinkle them over everything just to add a little magic.
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It's giving past life. It's giving new jerk off session. It's giving new jerk off in the woods.
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You're giving it too much credit.
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It's giving too much.
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It's giving, but also not anything at the same time is a while.
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Well, don't you think Paris kind of did that well, which is, like, her kind of cooking, kind of pretending to cook with celebrity people in one set.
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Plenty of people have done that. I think even Selena Gomez did that. But they never positioned themselves as experts or, like, tastemakers, really. They were like, I. I'm famous. I have some famous friends who really know how to cook. Here they come. Let's do it.
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Sure.
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But it was like, oh, my God, it was so wild. It's when there's a scene where Mindy Kaling asks Megan what she's wearing, and the way that she describes her wardrobe, I almost, like, took a gun. I almost went to Burbank to buy a gun and put it in my mouth.
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Damn.
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It was really wild. It's really wild. Also, she and her husband Harry. Mama, they. The one thing I like about them, Grift, they got so much money from Spotify and Netflix and are just, like, vibing. Vibing.
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That's what I hate. Whenever I get money from people, I always have to do something.
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Yeah.
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How do we stop that? Break the cycle of abuse. How do we stop that?
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I don't know. I think we gotta move to Montecito and start wearing linens and beige. Beige linens.
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It's awful.
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Sprinkling flowers.
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Today's my day off because I'm not in drag.
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This is not a day off.
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Tell us the powers that be. This is work. Tell us to the powers that be.
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This is work.
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Tell it to the powers that be. Fucked up.
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Have you tried sprinkling dried flowers?
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I. Girl, I slammed a Celsius today. Got on the treadmill, opened up a Zoom meeting, and it turned on. I said, what?
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See, that's what. That's the kind of. That's the kind of activity that they're getting paid for but not doing. And I opened up the zoom.
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I said, I want to know about the dicks who did this and the c. Responsible. Like, I was like, you know, I want to kick somebody.
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What about Phoebe Waller Bridge? Like, 20 million.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Who is that? Who is that? The Phoebe Waller Bridge. Pick a name.
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She created Fleabag. Oh, my God. Killing Eve.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yes. So pretty. Yeah, I know. That is.
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Yeah. Lovely gal. Fleabag. Incredible. Killing Eve. Incredible. Got like, Ryan Murphy. So Ryan Murphy is, you know, like, received an $800 billion deal from Netflix and then produced like, 14,000 shows.
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Yeah, right.
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She received a similar package from Amazon to do, like, a Laura Croft Tomb Raider thing. And it's just not happening. It's so country.
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That's.
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Stop stepping on my neck.
Unnamed Speaker 1
How come when. How come when Netflix gives us money, we have to go there, people.
Unnamed Speaker 2
These hoes are out here stepping on my neck, taking my shine and development deals. Yeah. Give me the money to not do something.
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Can I say I was built for. This episode of Bald and Beautiful is sponsored by Airbnb. Let me tell you, I travel more than you think. I love to go to rural Wisconsin. And, you know, where I'm from, it's not exactly a vacation destination of the world. So there's not fabulous hotel options, but there are in northeast Wisconsin. Stunning Airbnbs. People have beautiful homes up there. Beautiful modest cottages, stunning log cabins. Like big, big properties. A lot of options. And there so many of them are in Airbnb. I went to Wisconsin and it was like a five bedroom house with access to a little river with beautiful stargazing, a nice big driveway, a complete kitchen. It was like, I think probably half of what a hotel would be a night. It was perfect for me. And I got to bring. I brought like, you know, some cans of soup, some bread and stuff, and I was able to just make myself simple lunches and breakfasts because if you're growing more rural, you can't even count on restaurants. And I liked it because it was right in town. I know that area pretty well. So I could choose an Airbnb that I knew was like a quick trip to the bowling alley, quick trip to the grocery store, whatever. So if you're planning a trip or going back to your hometown like me this year, consider hosting your home on Airbnb while you're away. It's a perfect way to earn a little extra cash to put towards your next vacation fund. Or that treat yourself splurge purchase you've been eyeing. Your home might be worth more than you think, and find out how much@airbnb.com.
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Host this episode is sponsored by our Friends at Rakuten. If you know one thing about me, it's that my apartment was recently gutted due to a plumbing debacle in a late night seance gone awry. Not only were all the walls and floors removed from the water damage, but most of my belongings are now haunted by a 17th century rogue spirit named Charles. Charles Forsyth Cromwell IV has been possessing my vacuum, my gym shoes, my home theater system, and even my drag makeup. Since my apartment is now almost ready for human habitation, I need to start replacing the aforementioned possessed items. This, my friends, is where Rakuten comes in. I will be hitting up the old Rakuten app and purchasing some running shoes from Zappos, a vacuum from Dyson, a new home theater from Samsung, and an entirely new collection of makeup from Sephora. And best of all, I will be getting cash back. All thanks to Rakuten. Rakuten is the smartest way to save money when you shop because you earn cash back at over 3,500 stores. We're talking fashion, beauty, electronics, home essentials, travel, dining, concert tickets and more. Your favorite stores like Ulta, Macy's and Kiehl's pay Rakuten to send them shoppers, and Rakuten then passes on a part of that payment to its members as cash back. Cash back is deposited directly into your PayPal account or Rakuten can even send you a physical check. You can even maximize your savings by stacking cash back on top of other deals like store sales and coupons. You're already shopping at your favorite stores, so why not save while you're doing it? As my Aunt Gilda from Danvers used to say, when finding a great deal, it's a no brainer. You cow handed Dunn head. Plus membership is free and it's easy to sign up. Listen, people, I use Rakuten to save money, save time, and maybe, just maybe, buy some new stuff that won't be haunted by a slightly malignant ghost from London. Get the Rakuten app now and join the 17 million members who are already saving. Cashback rates change daily. And c rakuten.com for details. That's R a k u T E N. Your cashback really adds up.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, speaking of. Oh, yes.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I've like, Listen, are you watching? I'm watching the new season.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You're mad.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I'm not mad. I just. I don't love it when their relationship is so adversarial.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's. It's. It's. It's distressing. Yeah, it makes me upset too.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And I don't love, like, they're such a good team. If anything, I wanted them to lez out as many viewers did.
Unnamed Speaker 1
They do.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Are you kidding me?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, the lesbians love young thing. They love the old young thing.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Sarah Paulson.
Unnamed Speaker 1
The lesbians love, like the. I'm your mom. Well, suck on this titty.
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I think.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I think we could safely say that everybody loves that.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right? Right. Older women, age play. Age gaps certain certainly turn a lot of people on. What rich straight men go, let's get me with an older gal.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Where's my.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Says that.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, they're like, let me see some of my peers.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right? No, no, no, no, no.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I think they don't even. It's like. It's like the. The dogs can't hear a certain tone.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
That's like men can't see a certain age. They're just invisible.
Unnamed Speaker 1
How do I get me and three friends tickets to Beyonce?
Unnamed Speaker 2
This is a great question. I'm so glad you asked. You're getting on the phone, you're making. You're pulling strings.
Unnamed Speaker 1
What?
Unnamed Speaker 2
You're pulling strings. You're calling the most wealthy or well connected person you know and say, hey, remember when I did that thing for you? It's time to pay back, bitch. Where them tickets at? And then you hang up and you call the next one. You gotta. It's gonna take a few tries.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Drew O Fuala was like, oh, here's who you should DM this big company. That's what I did. I said, great. And I DM them and they didn't respond.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Stage with Madonna. You were on stage with Madonna? Call her up.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I think is. I like. I like Beyonce. I don't like concerts in general, but I'm trying to show my group a good Time.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I'm not getting a standing seat. I won't be doing this, sweetie. I'm not in the show.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No.
Unnamed Speaker 1
People love to stand next to the stage and stand. You're not in the show, bitch.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And also for quite a while.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Hours.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Hours before it begins.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, hours.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. I. I'm too old for that. I can't do it.
Unnamed Speaker 1
People come to Salopink Disco outdoors, and they. They're. They stand for five hours. They love it. I was never that person.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No, I've never been either. I went to the only concerts I can think of. I've. I've had the. I need to sit. I'm old. Old maiden. Rickety bones and stuff. I don't know. Also puppets.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I want to get up and pee. I want a snack. When I saw Kali Minogue, I was in the box with Rimmel, and I got free pizza and as many drinks as I wanted, and I have to get up. It was like this.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, same. I didn't get the pizza. Jesus. But, like, got Rimmel.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Came through with the pizza.
Unnamed Speaker 2
God, thank. Pouring out for Rimmel.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Pouring off a Rimmel the multitasker concealer.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I think I might be wearing that for my.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I think you are too. It's gone.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Thank you, girl.
Unnamed Speaker 1
What are we doing so much to talk about? We had so much to talk about.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Don't hold it against me. Don't hold it against me.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You got to. We got to tell the girls about Coachella.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yes.
Unnamed Speaker 1
So now, by the time this comes out, it was eight months ago, but who cares?
Unnamed Speaker 2
We would love to revisit Coachella.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It was a whole spiel getting out there. There was a whole drama of. Oh, my. The. The sound tech said to me, well, did you get our dimensions for our. Our. Forget what they call it. Bit mapping for your visuals so that they match. I said, no formatting.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And I looked around at managers, agents, producers. I said, bueller. And they were all like, never opened up a Photoshop.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Don't know. What about After Effects? Never seen a computer?
Unnamed Speaker 1
No. So then I like freaking out because I'm like, none of my vis are gonna match these giant screens. Great. So I'm freaking out, but then I have to go get in drag. So I just have to. I practice what I think as a performer is really important, which is radical acceptance. And I had to just go, at the end of today, I will have been in a wig, and music will have been played.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. And $400 hot dogs will have been eaten.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah. So let's just do it. So I went and got in drag. I did my lovely little video I was working on, went, you know, did the show. And for my hour long set, I ran the visuals off the computer while I DJed. So I'm running the visuals on the screen and playing the songs. Whatever. Went so well. The energy was so good. It was 98 degrees. 98 degrees. But it actually was so dry. It wasn't that bad, if you can imagine.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I can't imagine. Also, you're on stage, which is probably the place to be.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not in a sea of people.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I guarantee the people in the audience are hotter.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. Sweating butts off.
Unnamed Speaker 1
If you're on the stage, you're getting a breeze. The do Lab stage was beautiful. All the pictures, the flowing fabrics.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It looks sensational. What a career highlight. Career highlight.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And I, you know, did it for the glory.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And it got the paycheck. Yes. And it got wonderful coverage with wonderful photos. I was so happy and I loved.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I mean, I think the most important thing to come out of it, I think we can all agree, is that you were the face of that article.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I was there, bitch. An article came out that said, like, Coachella goers pissed over $100 meals. And the picture is me. From the back.
Unnamed Speaker 2
From the back. This respond. Yeah. Local figo cater by this.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Get out here. This is a woman who paid a hundred dollars for a hot dog in the desert.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Did you have a 200 water? Well, this pig.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Can I tell you what else happened?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, God.
Unnamed Speaker 1
We got this amazing new costume from Amy. This painted on pleather. It was so cool. Fit like a glove. We go to zip it for the first time. The zipper. I haven't even worn it yet. It's not even on my body. We did one fitting. It's not even on my body. We zip it down. The zipper goes off the track. It hits the ground. I'm on the tour bus. The show's in 20 minutes. I go. So then I put on a real corset under it.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And then the one in the costume becomes just decorative.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, I.
Unnamed Speaker 1
So luckily we had a corset or it would not have fit, because you know what?
Unnamed Speaker 2
You have done nude.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I brought backup costumes.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But I had that made for Coachella. But I did see videos on Tick Tock of straight people watching me filming themselves going and throwing shoes and stuff.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Throwing shoes.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Like, like, shut up, fag. Enable, like, you know, like, groups of, like, college age Caucasian men being, like, making a scene out of, like.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Since you're on stage and I'm here. I have to cheat out to the group and go like.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. Just so you all know that's gross.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And I would never suck a guy's dick. Certainly never fondle his balls.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Or eat his ass.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But I would say to them, one of us is paying to be here and the other one of us has a free acai bowl waiting for them off stage. So who's the winner? Who's the winner?
Unnamed Speaker 2
And the devil laughs.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And the devil laughs. I got a free veggie burger and I went up and I said this by the do lab stage.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I said, this veggie burger was really good. And this, this evil twink turns around and goes, really? I don't even know what I'm doing. I go work. But also the truth is with veggie burgers, you can't poison someone.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Worst thing you can happen is it's too cooked or not cooked enough.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But it was delicious.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Vegetables.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I haven't had a burger without cheese in a long time. Just the bun and the.
Unnamed Speaker 2
That's awesome.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Get the cheese out of here.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Thank you.
Unnamed Speaker 1
For a second.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Thank you.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It was really good.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, my God, I feel so seen.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, that's.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I'm the only person I know on this planet earth who will only eat a hamburger with nothing on.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Honestly, I may be a convert. It was delicious.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You got to. If the meat is quality.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But you know, people are. They don't just want to have sex. They want the finger up the butt. They want the cocaine. They want all of it. You know what I mean?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Everybody's so extra sex minus the finger. Mine's the cocaine. Just my version of that.
Unnamed Speaker 1
If I'm going to eat three bowls of Fruity Pebbles, I'm going to get absurdly high first.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I bought something from marijuana store called Kush Kush Kush Kush.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's the.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Let me tell you, it's not marijuana. It's crazier.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, it's.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Do you know about this kush?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Is it kush? Is it cush? Kush Kush.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Hello. Kush, Kush, Kush. Yeah, they at the weed store. But it's weed on weed.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's. When weed smokes weed.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's. It's like, it's like. It's like. It's like infused weed. Infused with weed.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah. It was not normal and it's. It was the length of a dog walker. A shorty.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But it was not. It was. It was extra strength Tylenol. Oh, no, I sit this this far from my 85 inch TV and play PlayStation. It's so sad. It's so sad the way I spend my time. And when I get this busy, I get mad and I. Part of me rebels. It goes, I don't care. After work, I'm a second, I'm gonna stay up late, fuck everybody, and then the next day, guess who pays for it?
Unnamed Speaker 2
You do.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Me.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Me love that shit. Wake up.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Had to go to PT this morning for my back. The fuck?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, I always think parent teachers, but you're going to parents conferences.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Had to go to parent teacher conference.
Unnamed Speaker 2
How is physical therapy? Is it doing anything well?
Unnamed Speaker 1
I'm so much better. I feel bad because my back got so much better.
Unnamed Speaker 2
But you. So you're just going out of guilt?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, the PT person said, happens a lot. People go to pt, by the time they get there, their pain is resolved.
Unnamed Speaker 2
So they say they stop going.
Unnamed Speaker 1
They said that? The guy says, do you do drag? I said, yeah. He goes, you wear big heavy wigs. I said, yeah. He said, a lot of your muscles here feel like they're really overworked. And over this, probably throwing hair.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Throw a neck with that wig on.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Throw a neck. So now if you come see me dj, you might see me kind of the grudge. Just doing a release.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No, no, no, no, I got it. You take very clear fishing wire, hang the wig right. You stand right under it.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Hunty, have you seen these memes of RuPaul where people are saying she looks like a bald woman standing in front of a wig?
Unnamed Speaker 2
I don't, I don't need to see the memes. I watched the show. Yeah, that's what she looked like.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She never thought that. But maybe I'll pay attention.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's wild. All I think about is that's a man's, a lovely woman, bald headed, standing in front of a wig. Because it's a perfect circle that they're quite high on the head, right on the, like the top, you know, that's what it looks like.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
She couldn't be. She couldn't ever do a widow's peak or a little ventilation up there. She said, no way.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Because they're used to letting the A1 do the hairline. The A1? A what? The Secretary of Education steak sauce. You're not only not qualified, you're going to go out there and see A one. Can I tell you what happened to me? It's like Versace, Versailles.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's like, it's like I'm the head of Givenchy. I used to work for Versace. It's like foreign this episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by BetterHelp. The times they are a changin. Years ago, if someone found out you went to therapy, they'd punch you in the face and steal your lunch money. While 80s movie villains aren't roaming the streets belittling those who are seeking to better themselves with therapy, there's still lots of room for improvement over how society views therapy. A whopping 26% of Americans who participated in a recent survey say they've avoided seeking mental health support due to the fear of judgment. That's crazy. People's rude judgment should not prevent others from seeking the help they need. Because it's not just the people who don't get help who are affected. Literally everyone around them, including friends, family, co workers are affected as well. So this Mental Health Awareness month, let's encourage everyone to take care of their well being and break the stigma. The world is better when people are healthy and happy. I've used therapy multiple times throughout my life to deal with problems both big and small. Sometimes it's just nice to talk to a neutral party about your problems and challenges. Even your best friend is always a tad biased. Listen people, BetterHelp helped me and they can help you too. All from the comfort of your couch, your car, or even your birthday party. You can easily switch therapists at any time at no extra cost. It's fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. BetterHelp has over 10 years of experience matching people with the right therapists from their diverse network of more than 30,000 licensed therapists with a wide range of specialties. We're all better with help. Visit betterhelp.com bald to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.
Angie Hicks
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Unnamed Speaker 2
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Unnamed Speaker 1
We we were just in the stunning Connecticut. Hartford, Connecticut. UConn.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I thought UConn was kind.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I had so much fun.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It was fun. It was such a fun show.
Unnamed Speaker 1
College shows are usually like, all right, this could be awkward. So I'm just gonna have to go out there guns ablazing because if it's weird, it's gonna get worse.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
So you have to actually start.
Unnamed Speaker 2
So I loved it. I love that show.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And you gotta get that play there and keep spinning it. Whereas at normal shows, people are drunk and adult gays, it's like, okay.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And there's a huge mixture.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right.
Unnamed Speaker 2
This is, this is like a pretty specific age range.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And some of them don't drink.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. And it was also what like.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And what is drinking for Gen Z? A thimble of, you know, Boone's Farm.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, they're not drinking. They're not having sex.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right.
Unnamed Speaker 2
That was great. I love that show. But I did not love the. I don't say the Hartford would be my choice of. My first choice of, like, retiring there and living forever, baby.
Unnamed Speaker 1
When we got back to the hotel.
Unnamed Speaker 2
The Hartford, right? Hartford.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. I went to a bar called the. The Pig's Eye Pigsty. The Pig's Eye, I think. And it was like, very pig themed. Lots of pig sty. Pig type stuff. So I had my one little drink there and I was like, you know, this is a lovely heterosexual mixing event. Great for that. Went down the street to a bar called the Lady.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Because I thought, I don't want to go to gay bar tonight. I don't really feel like being fanned.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And that's okay. Go support the straight bars. Right? They have. Straight people have so little in this world. So I go down to the lady because I thought, well, for me, yeah, these straight people are not just drinking. They are throwing ass on a level I've never seen in a straight bar.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Throwing ass.
Unnamed Speaker 1
We're like, we're talking, like dancing queen playing the dj. Playing dancing queen while straight people are on the stage. Like, one foot up, like. Like the waves keep on crashing on me for some reason. It was so crazy.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I love that. That sounds like fun.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I walked in, I was like, what? And all these straight girls and straight guys, oh, no.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Did they know who you were?
Unnamed Speaker 1
It was like a bomb went off. You would have thought that Mary Kay Letourneau or Julia Louise Dreyfus or Ellen DeGeneres was there.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Right. The three most.
Unnamed Speaker 1
The three most famous people. I could think of a list. So Mary Kayla Turner. I don't even know who that is.
Unnamed Speaker 2
She's a raper.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Sorry, sorry, I didn't know. Sorry.
Unnamed Speaker 2
She's infamous, not famous.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Is that the person who slept with the government? Okay, sorry, sorry.
Unnamed Speaker 2
She's a groomer. It's okay. She's iconic.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I watched that movie May December.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, that's basically that tea.
Unnamed Speaker 1
That's the first time I've seen a sex scene where the guy gets off the woman and she's like, no, not just that.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She gets her towel and she wipes the pussy.
Unnamed Speaker 2
She wipes the puss. And he retreats with a visible turgid member.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Crazy.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Charles Melton.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Crazy.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Thank you.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Okay, so I'm at the lady and I'm like, this is crazy. The bar, the bartenders there are whenever young gals are dressed up for bartending. I always appreciate that because it means before they went to their bartending shift. They put on these girls had on little corsets and lashes, and, like.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Well, they want them a little be.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Mini skirts. I was like, this is amazing. Right? And so the people keep coming up and taking pictures a lot. Like a. Like. Like. Like two dozen people. It was crazy. And then the boyfriends are drunk, and they're doing this shit. Hey, like, my. I don't know who you are, but, like, my girl really likes you. And, like, she showed me some of your stuff just now on her phone. Like, it's like, I just, like, really respect it. I'm like, I know that this is huge for you, but get the out of here. Get the out of here.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I went to a pizza shop filled with ornery townsfolk. Okay? It was not my crowd. And then. But sure enough, one girl behind the counter starts to have a heart attack because I'm there.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, I thought it was a real heart attack. And you were acting annoyed. No, because you can't get your food, you cunt.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No, but I'm like, I'm trying to keep a low profile because it looks like there's a lot of homophobia.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Pizza.
Unnamed Speaker 2
A lot of homophobia in the air. Didn't. I was gonna eat there, but took it to go.
Unnamed Speaker 1
How did you walk in?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Well, I walked in like this, right?
Unnamed Speaker 1
You had on like, an O. Mary, you bitch.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, but. And then, you know, she starts screaming. She starts screaming, a little bit of crying, and I'm like, yeah, I got.
Unnamed Speaker 1
One better for you. What happened to the lady? This gal, lovely gal, if this is you, she came up and she. And she did what the drunk girls do, which is wait. Oh, my God.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Shut up.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Wait. No, no. Stop it. Wait. And nothing happens. And they're. They're telling you to stop, but you're not.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You're not.
Unnamed Speaker 1
So there's just nothing happening. And then she starts sobbing, and then she starts saying she's sorry. The crying and the sorry is a cycle. I'm sorry. I'm crying.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yes.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And now I'm crying. It makes me more sorry. And now I'm crying.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And also, like, I didn't want to do this, but. But it's like, well, you are here. You're doing it.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You're here.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I think that, you know.
Unnamed Speaker 1
So then I go to play pool, and the gal sits on the. The gal sits on the bench and watches po. The pool and cries. So I'm playing pool, and she's just sitting and crying. I was like, I can't tell if I'm Ruining your night? Am I ruining your night? I'm sorry. I was like, did I derail her evening? I felt bad. Is it.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do you think there's something particular about us or drag queen or. What is it about us? Or is it. Is it. Is it, like, drag queens that make us so approachable and touchable? Touchable, specifically?
Unnamed Speaker 1
I don't know.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Because people don't have any. Or people don't seem to have any qualms about jumping in front of me, screaming in my face, and then, like, grab me by the neck. You know what I mean? Things like that. Like, it's a very. Like, once they clock this. Once I'm clocked, it's claws in.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And they don't. There's no hesitation.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Clocky. And sometimes very clunky. The bricks. Bricky Lake. This is Bricky Lake, honey.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Clocky with a tampon in.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Clocky with a tampon. When somebody cries like that, I think, have I ruined your evening or made your evening? I don't know.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Like, what happened? Did I kill your dad? Like, what's going on? But I'm. I'm just curious about the, like, the. I don't know. Maybe because I used to be a shy person. I just don't get it. Because I. Even if I saw Julia Roberts or whatever, I would be like. I'd be like. But then. Then it's like, remember when you saw.
Unnamed Speaker 1
JLO at the gym?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do you think I talked to her? Do you think I said a damn word to her?
Unnamed Speaker 1
No.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I was internally screeching for 45 minutes. I tried not to look at her.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I mean, if there ever was an intimate.
Unnamed Speaker 1
If there ever were, I would go inside. Oh, my God. It's JLo. But I wouldn't say.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No, no, no. But I mean, think about this. It's a room, like, twice as big as this, and there's just four of us.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
So it would have been like, it could have happened, but I didn't do it. It's Chelo.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Also, if it's actually my favorite artist of that kind, like, if I actually saw, I don't know, a designer I really like or whatever, I might say, oh, my God.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But coming up, because I know that you're famous and I found you, that's something I wouldn't do.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. And also, I really. People just really dying to get something on their. Their Instagram. You're like a Pokemon.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, I've started offering the picture because I know they want it and they feel awkward.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I know it's. It's a good way.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I just want to help.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You know what I am impressed by, though? Because I. Before all this Drag Race stuff, I definitely. A person who has a lot of social anxiety. Afraid of people, don't know how to talk. Don't know how to talk on the phone.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You think that that's different now? Before this Drag Race stuff, they gave you a personality shift?
Unnamed Speaker 2
No, but. So, like, I am amazed at the. The chutzpah that these people demonstrate where they're clearly socially anxious.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And not very adept at these kind of interactions.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
But they fly into them headfirst, and then just. And then it's so awkward. It's so awkward that, like you said, I just say, hey, you wanna take a picture? And you have to kind of navigate them.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And then it's hard when you're excited. Like, when I asked Cynthia Rivo, I told her she was gonna have a great year. You know, like, I've been on the end of that, where you. You can't count on yourself to actually say what you come across the way you hope.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Like, that's with Calista Flockhart behind the. At the. At the end of. Oh, Mary.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, my God.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I was not exactly the. My best self, but I certainly didn't throttle her at the neck.
Unnamed Speaker 1
No, you were like, hi, I'm Katya. And she goes, I'm Calista. And you turned, and it was almost like a. Couldn't help but wonder. You were like. And then you turn to me and you go. And I go, yeah. But not the other Calista Flockhart. They had told me she was back there.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, really?
Unnamed Speaker 1
So I knew.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I went. I went in and watched, revisited a few clips of Ally McBeal. There's a scene where in the bathroom. In the unisex bathroom, she. Lucy Liu. Jane Krakowski. Or no, Portia de Rossi. There's a big cat fight on the floor. There's a big fist.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, you told me about that.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's so great. And that movie that I used to watch, Alan.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Is it a dream sequence?
Unnamed Speaker 2
No, they really fought. Oh, it's Conti. Yeah. Took place in Boston. Boston law firm.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Boston Legal.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Exactly.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Is that a show?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, that came right after Ally McBeal.
Unnamed Speaker 1
People nut for Boston.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. I don't know. Oh, just got a call.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh. Oh, it's, like, super short, though.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do it and we'll come back.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's not time yet. They're gonna call me, so I'm gonna leave my phone on it. We can talk till they call.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Besides, two weeks ago, this doctor had a follow up and didn't call at all. So they might not call today. They called me yesterday night and said, we're rescheduling for tomorrow for a phone call. I said, great, because he's in surgery.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, surgery.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, surgery is probably more important.
Unnamed Speaker 2
And then, I don't know, we're making people cry.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's also a dermatologist. What could happen?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Why are dermatologists the most elusive medical practitioners on this earth?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Don't even get me started.
Unnamed Speaker 2
There are three of them in this country.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's Larry Saperstein.
Unnamed Speaker 2
If you could get the. The next available appointment for a dermatology is. Is in 2026, three years from now.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And you need to take the blue origin to get to it.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, they're like, how's Tuesday of next year?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Is literally. Literally.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I mean, I. I'm crying in the parking lot with. With a face full of rosacea on the phone and they won't see me.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I do like this dermatologist a lot. He has been very helpful because, I mean, I get these.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do they even exist?
Unnamed Speaker 1
I get these dry rashes now from doing drag.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
My body has started to reject makeup and shaving. So now after get out of drag, my eyebrows are all red. My chin is.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do you ever get dandruff under your eyebrows?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Which I have it now.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I do all the time.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I think it's from drag.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, it's crazy.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I think it's from the glue.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, see, I'm not supposed to be.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Gluing your eyebrows down.
Unnamed Speaker 2
That's true.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's not. Give me.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Also not supposed to be packing our pores in with. With red dyes and.
Unnamed Speaker 1
No, that crap. And I like this doctor. They got me on the enzymes. Do you know about this?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Extreme peptides?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Sweat, maybe? Yes.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Injectable enzyme. Peptide enzyme things. Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
What are you taking?
Unnamed Speaker 1
I don't even know what they're called.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Well, there's one Milani amosin. Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And BP 175. I don't know.
Unnamed Speaker 2
What is it doing?
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's one of the side effects. It's supposed to help with my skin, but they also said give you boners. No, they said that it would help regulate my immune system response and my arthritis is gone.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You're kidding.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I'm dead serious. I've been able to run 2.
Unnamed Speaker 2
BP 175 or whatever.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I've been able to run 2 or 3 miles a day without any pain whatsoever.
Unnamed Speaker 2
This took how long to discover so many years of arthritis?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Like a year. Oh, not bad.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But also, did I tell you I started injecting my own drugs now?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, welcome to the dark side.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But look, can I show you it get bruised.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh. Now what kind of are these? The little guys or those crazy simia stimia needles?
Unnamed Speaker 1
New ones are those little diabetic cat needles.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Which. You're fine. No, it's. It's like you pinch the fat.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's like whatever, 45 degree dart, like motion. If you do it like it says you don't feel.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You don't feel it. But it's crazy that you don't feel it. Right. It freaked me out.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's crazy. And you do have to sort of remove yourself that it's your body and you have to focus on just the jab.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. It's so weird.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's weird. And my sharps container is just full of needles. I said okay. Losing Isaiah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay. Philadelphia girl. Okay. A Requiem for Dream.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah. I don't know. I hope nobody ever has to go to a dermatologist. Dermatologist. Because you will be. You will be solving riddles to get.
Unnamed Speaker 2
There and left unread for years.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And they will be. What about this?
Unnamed Speaker 2
The bridge show?
Unnamed Speaker 1
I had to go get an MRI the other day.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Really?
Unnamed Speaker 1
They made me go to Santa Monica. It took an hour to get there. I have a new book recommendation.
Unnamed Speaker 2
What you got there? Good.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I'm reading this book by Grady Hendricks, who I love, and it's called Witchcraft for Wayward Girls.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, sounds young adult.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's not.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Oh, we're gonna pause. Okay.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Pause.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Talk to the. Talk to the dermatologist. They said, just take your face off. Throw on the ground. Ugly.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, they said throw. Throw a. Shove a nuke up your.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Shove a nuke up my.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Sorry.
Unnamed Speaker 1
The entire medical complex is waiting. It's waiting and paying.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, it's.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's waiting and paying.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's a lot of money. It's not a lot of.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Can we talk about when you go somewhere and they make you fill out a clipboard of medical and every single piece of paper has name and birthday on it? Aren't we past that? We have a one. You know what I mean?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Like, just use a one. Use Chat. Ddt.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Not to mention it's like, what's your birthday? Do you have Google Ho.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Like, I'm on IMDb.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I can't.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I just shoved a nuke up my pussy.
Unnamed Speaker 1
All the waiting.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. I mean, well, when health care is.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Business, I don't like it.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Then you get all these concierge services for the Ultra rich, whatever. It's like you. The only way you get good health care in this country is being dirt poor or filthy rich.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Have you noticed that it's crazy poverty in this country. What's that?
Unnamed Speaker 1
We don't talk about poverty.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No. Because we demonize it. But we watch politicians, we make it illegal.
Unnamed Speaker 1
They. They all politicians talk about is the middle class, working class. Do you know how many people are below middle class?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Where also, you know what? I am just like, I've kind of had it a lot of.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Put it up your ass.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Shove a nuke up your.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Shove a nuke up your.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Like, I was watching Bernie Sanders clip of Bernie Sanders. I was like, you talk a lot. You talk a lot about great stuff. Where's like, make it happen.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, you know that. I mean, we're. I think. I think we're circling the drain as far as we have to. We have to retire ourselves as the country. The. The party that does nothing.
Unnamed Speaker 2
The Democrats love to talk.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Chat.
Unnamed Speaker 2
They love to. They love to chat.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Chitter chatter on a website. Asl remember chat rooms.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You know what I love? Age, sex, location.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yes. I love on the news when older people who are news people are talking about some kind of new thing. It's called boofing. We checked in with a high school mom. Tell us more about boofing.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Jessica has just shoved a nuke up her pussy online.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Not what you'd think. They're called chat websites and they become a portal for pedophiles to talk to young Americans.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yes. It's called discord and it's where you can get called a faggot no matter what time of day it is.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Girl. I was watching this TikTok and they were saying that we're the last generation. It was like, you think we don't know about cringe? We've been on every mama. We've been on every social platform since it was invented.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Sweetie had a MySpace know about learning.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Learning HTML, honey. So that you can have Pony Genuine playing on your home page.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I had a. I had a welcome to my page mix. I also had to choose eight of my best friends to feature on my top eight.
Unnamed Speaker 1
And that was serious.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. Cause I only had four.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Remember Tom? Tom. What's she up to, mama?
Unnamed Speaker 2
She. Nothing good. She just shoved a nuke up her pussy.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She shoved her? Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It has to be. I think probably she sold her. She sold her thing to Zuckerberg or whatever. Who knows?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Do you know what else I want to really bring back? Do you remember that audio of Melania Being like, what the fuck do we have to do? Christmas?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
What the fuck is this?
Unnamed Speaker 2
Christmas.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I don't know.
Unnamed Speaker 2
These kids.
Unnamed Speaker 1
That's me in my basement trying to find my Christmas tree. I'd love to give a fuck about that Christmas.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do you think I'm. Gonna. Let me ask you something. You think I'm gonna put up a Christmas tree and string those lights and plug them into the wall, knowing what I know now about what that means.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right. You think I fell out. You think you fell out of Christmas.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Tree, bitch, I am not doing anything. I might put the tree up. Naked and afraid. Bare. No light. No light.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Luminance.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Maybe I'll just. I'll just. Every single fucking ornament I can find. And then every rubber band, a piece of trash in my house will just.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Put there, throw spitballs at it.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I won't. I'll just have spitball trash trees like.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You ate a banana and hang the peel on it. Yes. Like, that is so crazy.
Unnamed Speaker 2
That would be kind of cunt, though.
Unnamed Speaker 1
One of our managers just gave me a tree topper. They said this has been sitting in our house since last holiday season.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Was it that crazy RuPaul one?
Unnamed Speaker 1
No, it's a disco ball.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, that's fun.
Unnamed Speaker 1
This year, I think.
Unnamed Speaker 2
What's the theme?
Unnamed Speaker 1
Well, I've always done pink and green because of the house.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Sure.
Unnamed Speaker 1
But this year, I think I want to just say it and do ornaments of all different colors. That would be rainbow lights with rainbow ornaments.
Unnamed Speaker 2
If you're going to do that, you got to go. You got to go every square inch covered.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Covered.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 1
What do you think? Like, the celebrity trees that have the oversized, like, ornaments of lollipops and shit. Weird.
Unnamed Speaker 2
It's weird also, like, you don't do your tree. What are you doing?
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's. Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
You know what I mean? Like, it's like. I don't know. Like, it's like, do it or don't do it. But, like, I hired it. It's like we just hung up the tree. But, like, we hired a company to do it.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Right. It's like Lucy Vanderpump has, like, nine trees and she's involved in the decorations.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. Because she's elbow deep. Yeah. If you're not gonna do it, I don't know. I just gotta shove a nuke up my.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Should we switch religion? We don't even have a religion now.
Unnamed Speaker 2
I was like, what? Wait, I think my religion now is basically RuPaul's Instagram.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Their Reels. Her TikTok. Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
She's like, which one of you bitches is my mother? It's just so funny.
Unnamed Speaker 1
She has a good.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Can I help you? And she has a the purse on.
Unnamed Speaker 1
The side of her head. What a fool. She's so funny. Oh, speaking of, we got a pouring out for our girl Jiggly.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, my God.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I know. Diva.
Unnamed Speaker 2
So fucking sad. So, so sad. I, you know, our manager is very involved with the end of her very. The tragic end of her life. And it was like, it was horrible hearing everything was going on.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Tell them how you found it. Tell them how you made that call.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, so, yeah, my fucking. You know, I'm the queen of being tacked. The queen attacked. I call my manager, I'm like, why the fuck do we not fly Delta anymore? And he's like, yeah, Jiggly's in the hospital dying. And I'm like, okay, let me just.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Get on my southwest flight and get the fuck out of here.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah, maybe I'll just shut the fuck up. It was a big. I got slapped with the hand of reality. And I only got to meet her once.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I was backstage in New York once. Really maybe once at Drag Queen and once backstage. We never really worked together.
Unnamed Speaker 2
We worked together a lot, probably a lot more than she wanted to. And, you know, she was. We called her Mrs. Jigglesworth. And she's just always so funny. She's just like a bubbly, bright, wonderful person.
Unnamed Speaker 1
So it's sad and like, weird when Drag Queen.
Unnamed Speaker 2
That's what I was thinking. You said that a while ago. Like when Chi Chi died, I was like, it is so strange. It's like Mickey Mouse doesn't die. I was, jessica Rabbit can't be killed.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Do you know what I mean? It's like, do you remember like a.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Couple months ago when I told you I got drunk and watched a bunch of like rusicals. I watched sitting on a secret and Chi Chi came on and I was like, oh, it's Chi Chi. Oh my God, she's dead. It was like a two part to me to connect that that person is dead and connected to that drag queen on TV feels like a very impossible stretch. Jiggly from Drag Race from a famous drag queen. It's very Sad. I think 44 years old, I'm.
Unnamed Speaker 2
That's one year older than me. Should have been me.
Unnamed Speaker 1
It's never who you want.
Unnamed Speaker 2
No. Damn.
Unnamed Speaker 1
You said I volunteer as tribute.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Yeah. I was like, take my leg. Take my everything.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Damn. Well, shout out to Jiggly. Yeah.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Pouring out for Jiggles. Lovely, lovely, wonderful person you guys can.
Unnamed Speaker 1
See on the Internet. All the girls are taking to the online to say, love you, gal. Yeah, I saw a meme of St. Peter saying, Can I call you Jiggly? That's sweet.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Oh, that is so funny.
Unnamed Speaker 1
I don't know if I believe in heaven, but I do believe Jiggly's going, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't. But is it, is it weird that if I don't believe in God, but when someone dies, I'm like, well, I.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Know that Jiggly's up there in a bathing suit with fierce wings on and she's letting people have it.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Very Victoria's Secret tea.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Wow. So turn to your left, turn to your right and tell those people you love them. All right, thanks so much, everybody.
Unnamed Speaker 1
Thank you. Shout out to Julie.
Unnamed Speaker 2
Pouring out from the home, girl.
Angie Hicks
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Episode Summary: "With Love, The Balds with Trixie and Katya"
Podcast Information:
The episode opens with Trixie and Katya delving into the challenges of homeownership, particularly focusing on renovation projects and the complexities of installing central air conditioning systems.
Trixie shares her experience installing a new central air unit, emphasizing the unexpected costs and logistical nightmares:
"When I got brand new central air conditioning, brand new central air conditioning. It was $9,000." (02:40)
Katya humorously recounts the physical strain of installing the unit:
"They carried a five-ton unit... It was basically like Fast and the Furious except not a lot of movement." (02:31)
The discussion highlights the often-overlooked difficulties homeowners face, turning what should be straightforward upgrades into monumental tasks.
Trixie and Katya transition to a critique of public figures Meghan Markle and Martha Stewart, juxtaposing their approaches to lifestyle and public persona.
Trixie expresses frustration with Meghan Markle's lifestyle presentations:
"What are we receiving? We're receiving a person who is editing and directing themselves so fiercely that they're like, I wish I could tell her, just be a princess." (14:12)
Katya contrasts this with Martha Stewart's practical and accessible style:
"What I like about her is she's saying Like, I am fancy. And I'm gonna show you how to make something fancy for you." (13:51)
This segment underscores the hosts' preference for authenticity and practicality over perceived extravagance.
A significant portion of the episode addresses the recent appointment of Linda McMahon as the U.S. Secretary of Education and her controversial remarks on artificial intelligence (AI).
Trixie criticizes McMahon's understanding of AI, noting her confusion between "AI" and "A1":
"She's calling it A1. She doesn't even know that it's AI. Swear to God." (08:59)
Katya humorously interprets McMahon's statements:
"We should also spray some chat DDT on some people." (09:33)
The hosts express concern over the implications of AI in early education and the potential lack of preparedness in leadership.
Trixie and Katya share their recent experiences attending events like Coachella and other concerts, blending humor with relatable anecdotes.
Trixie describes the logistical challenges of performing at Coachella:
"I was freaking out, but then I had to go get in drag and practice radical acceptance." (24:06)
Katya reminisces about past concert experiences, highlighting the chaotic and often exhausting nature of large events:
"I went to a pizza shop filled with ornery townsfolk... One girl behind the counter starts to have a heart attack because I'm there." (39:13)
Their stories provide a comedic yet insightful look into the world of event performances and the personal toll it can take.
The conversation shifts to personal health issues, including physical therapy and dermatological challenges faced by the hosts.
Trixie discusses her experience with physical therapy improving her back pain:
"The PT person said, happens a lot. People go to PT, by the time they get there, their pain is resolved." (30:04)
Katya humorously details her battle with skin issues related to drag:
"My body has started to reject makeup and shaving. My eyebrows are all red. My chin is... I have dandruff under my eyebrows." (46:21)
These segments highlight the physical demands of their lifestyle and the ongoing efforts to maintain their health and appearance.
The hosts explore the unique social dynamics they encounter as drag queens, including interactions with fans and the broader community.
Trixie shares uncomfortable encounters with fans:
"When somebody cries like that, I think, have I ruined your evening or made your evening?" (40:08)
Katya reflects on the challenges of maintaining boundaries:
"Everybody's so extra sex minus the finger. Mine's the cocaine." (28:27)
Their candid discussion sheds light on the emotional and social complexities of their profession.
A poignant moment in the episode is dedicated to the memory of a fellow drag queen, Jiggly, who recently passed away.
Katya mourns the loss and shares memories:
"We called her Mrs. Jigglesworth. She's just always so funny. She's so bubbly, bright, wonderful person." (55:25)
Trixie expresses her grief and the impact of Jiggly's death:
"It's never who you want. She shoved a nuke up her pussy." (56:31)
This heartfelt tribute provides listeners with a deeper understanding of their camaraderie and the loss felt within their community.
Throughout the episode, Trixie and Katya offer sharp commentary on various cultural and social issues, blending humor with critique.
Trixie comments on the inefficiencies in the healthcare system:
"If it's a lemon, you're living a lemon. You don't want to drive a lemon because it's such danger." (06:32)
Katya discusses the stigma around therapy and the importance of mental health:
"BetterHelp helped me and they can help you too. All from the comfort of your couch, your car, or even your birthday party." (30:14)
Their observations provide insightful perspectives on societal norms and personal well-being.
Notable Quotes:
"You buy a house, but you make it a home. Because with every fix, update, and renovation, it becomes a little more your own." – 00:50
"Martha Stewart is doing it in the way that the girls, that the Markles can't. It's not Markle Stewart." – 12:36
"You're not only not qualified, you're going to go out there and see A1." – 31:19
"I was built for. This episode of Bald and Beautiful is sponsored by Airbnb." – 35:30
"It was a five-ton unit. I'm at the end. He had to go through the wires on somebody else's driveway. It was like Fast and the Furious except not a lot of movement." – 02:31
Timestamp Legend:
Conclusion: In this episode, Trixie and Katya navigate a diverse range of topics, from the nitty-gritty of home ownership and the intricacies of public personas to personal health struggles and heartfelt tributes. Their blend of humor, candidness, and insightful commentary offers listeners both entertainment and relatable content, making "With Love, The Balds" a compelling listen for fans and newcomers alike.