Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya

Summary

Podcast Summary:

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Episode: Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya
Release Date: November 4, 2025

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Overview

In this lively, hilariously unhinged episode, Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova riff on everything from learning to type as adults, Drag Race gossip, and nostalgia for county fairs to haunted hayrides and horror movie obsessions. Peppered with chaotic tangents, heartfelt moments, and sharp cultural observations, the duo explores the joy and absurdity in daily life—true to their signature style. The episode meanders through typing anxieties, rural Americana, dental woes, and queer pop culture, blending quick wit with real talk on vulnerability and evolution.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Learning to Type as an Adult

• Katya’s Typing Journey
  • Katya confesses to being a "hunt and peck" typist despite a career as a writer and drag queen. She's now earnestly learning proper touch typing using Typing Club, relishing every small victory.
  • Quote: "I have been learning an activity that is so basic and so embarrassing, I almost didn’t want to share it. Learning how to type correctly." (03:03)
  • Katya describes creating a sensual ritual for practice—lotioned-up, scantily clad, perched erect at her computer: “I lotion up. And then my body becomes slick and it’s semi sensual...” (06:26)
• Typing Techniques & Tech
  • Trixie shares tips: wrist posture, keyboard choice, and personal anecdotes about MSN Messenger accidentally teaching her to type quickly.
  • Katya is tempted by typewriters for their tactile experience but finds Typing Club’s clacking sound effects satisfying.

2. The Retro-Technology Tangent

• Peppermint and T9 Texting
  • The queens facetiously roast fellow queen Peppermint for using T9 predictive texting, calling it “butter churning” and “very 2002.”
  • Peppermint joins by phone to defend T9, citing the convenience for one-handed typing:
    • “It allows me to do one-handed typing… just holding my phone in one hand and typing with my thumb…” (09:35)
    • “If I have a lot to say, then I’ll use voice text, and that’s where it goes wrong sometimes.” (10:38)
  • They ruminate on changing digital habits, from keyboarding in sixth grade to voice-to-text and swipe texting ("I feel like it’s the devil’s work." – Katya, 14:26).

3. Generational Pop Culture & Inside Jokes

• Drag Race & Community Shoutouts
  • Accidental confusion with "Bold and the Beautiful" leads to imagined fan mail scenarios and classic drag queen banter.
  • Trixie relates running into people who vaguely recognize her local fame:
    • “They don’t know who I am, but they heard someone from [my hometown] was on Drag Race.” (34:43)
  • Moment of drag queen name puns: “It was the Madam LaQueers we met along the way.” (34:54)
• Movie References & Fashion Montages
  • Loving breakdown of “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” and 90s corporate fashion, especially “Ms. Sue Ellen Crandall on her way to become a corporate drone. The earrings, baby. The intricate hairdos, the updos, the power clashing jacket with the turtleneck...” (15:47)

4. Body, Beauty, and Technological Escapism

• Eye Color Surgery Rant
  • Both queens react with horror to the trend of eye color change surgeries, referencing “Hollywood Boulevard demonica lenses.”
  • Quote: “It needs to be investigated...Scully and Mulder, Columbo, get down here." (21:41)
  • Katya on drag contacts: “It just looks ghoulish and weird.” (22:03)
• Dentistry Angst
  • Katya contemplates sedation dentistry, dreams of dental appliances for drag, and advocates for standing up for yourself in the dentist's chair:
    • “You can lecture me but you can’t torture me at the same time.” (25:07)
    • “The old me would have stayed there, tears... That was like last year.” (25:32)

5. Midwestern Americana: Fairs, RVs, and Drive-Thrus

• Trixie’s Wisconsin Birthday
  • Trixie recounts staying in a massive up-north Wisconsin Airbnb for her birthday, visiting state fairs, seeing animal contests, and reminiscing about growing up poor—but rich in pet companionship.
  • Approachable tales of county fairs: “My dream was to go to the Marinette County Fair... Pig contests.” (30:35, 30:49)
• Queer Reflections on Returning Home
  • They consider the queer high school reunion phenomenon: “Some of them peaked in high school... and it’s always nice to go back and be like, yeah, I’m gay and I’m…” (33:17)
• RV Test Drives
  • Trixie dreams of motorhome life, test-driving Class A RVs—delighting in the size and safety features but deterred by price and storage:
    • “I was really scared to drive such a big vehicle…and then it was thrilling. I loved it.” (44:32)
  • Katya on RV culture: “These people are about to harvest you for organs for sure.” (44:26)
• Drive-Thru Culture & Midwest Chains
  • Obsessed with Culver’s runs: “Sometimes I was just stopping for a Diet Coke because I love a, you know, a nice ice, big Diet Coke.” (46:01)

6. Horror Films & Queer Nostalgia

• All-Time Favorite Horror Movies (49:59–53:00)
  • Rapid-fire top picks:
    • Trixie: The Shining, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street
    • Katya: Nightmare on Elm Street, Candyman, Hellraiser, The Exorcist
  • In-depth praise for Hellraiser’s erotic horror:
    • “It’s super horny. Clive Barker is a very lusty gentleman.” – Trixie (51:20)
    • “Any time you’re moving in life and someone cuts their hand…it’s like an empty house you just bought and there’s blood on the floor. You have to move.” (52:24)
  • The Exorcist’s shock value endures:
    • “Still as shocking as it ever was. Lick me. Lick me…Great beach read, by the way.” – Katya (53:39)

7. Ghost, Grief, and Moving On

• Revisiting the film “Ghost”—mourning, pennies, and the ethics of spirit-induced windfalls.
  • “The real crime of that movie is that Sam Wheat didn’t let her keep even a million of that check.” – Katya (55:39)

8. Drag Race Recaps? Not So Fast

• The queens reflect on whether to become a “Drag Race recap podcast.” Trixie: “Our lives are too interesting.” (56:42)
• Katya adds: “I don’t like regular nachos, so I don’t want to reheat anything that we…” (56:45)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "I lotion up. And then my body becomes slick and it’s semi sensual. I wear very scantily clad undergarments. And then I perch erect at my computer… D and K in space. D and K. D and K."
  — Katya, describing her typing practice (06:26)

• "It allows me to do one-handed typing… just holding my phone in one hand and typing with my thumb.”
  — Peppermint on T9 texting (09:35)

• "It needs to be investigated. Scully and Mulder, Columbo, get down here.”
  — Trixie on eye color surgeries (21:41)

• "You can lecture me but you can’t torture me at the same time. You got to pick a lane."
  — Katya on dentistry (25:07)

• "Culver’s! Sometimes I was just stopping for a Diet Coke because I love a... big Diet Coke. And I felt like one of those cunts in the car eating Chicken nuggets, talking to TikTok."
  — Trixie on Midwest car culture (46:00)

• "It was the Madam LaQueers we met along the way."
  — Katya, drag queen wisdom (34:54)

• "Anytime you’re moving in life and someone cuts their hand… it’s like an empty house you just bought and there’s blood on the floor. You have to move."
  — Katya, horror film logic (52:24)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:03–09:00 | Katya’s typing journey & tech tangents
• 09:10–11:05 | Peppermint’s T9 texting interview
• 14:23–15:14 | Voice-to-text humor
• 21:11–23:34 | Eye color surgery rant
• 24:20–26:01 | Dental dread & standing up for yourself
• 28:22–34:32 | Trixie’s Wisconsin trip & county fair adventures
• 41:44–44:32 | Trixie’s RV test-driving adventure
• 46:00–47:00 | Culver’s and Midwestern drive-thru wisdom
• 49:59–53:34 | Horror movie roundtable
• 55:39–56:25 | Ghost, grief, and afterlife finance
• 56:25–56:54 | Drag Race recap debate

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Tone & Style

True to “The Bald and the Beautiful,” the episode is chaotic, self-deprecating, and deeply queer, balancing playful absurdity with moments of real vulnerability. Conversation veers from high camp to earnest nostalgia, all fueled by the duo’s unique blend of cultural literacy and gleeful irreverence.

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For listeners and non-listeners alike, this episode is a wild ride of midlife queer reflection, rural Americana kitsch, pop culture analysis, and body horror appreciation—with plenty of deadpan wisdom, all delivered with a full face and a cackling laugh.

Transcript

[Trixie Mattel]

Hey, Katya, you know what I love?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Jason Momoa on a bed of mashed potatoes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Nuts. I'm obsessed with nuts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. I've seen your search history.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, you little idiot. I'm talking about the snack that pretends to be bad for you, but it isn't. I'm talking about wonderful pistachios.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, slap my behind and call me Shirley. You're talking about wonderful pistachios? The don't hold back snack. Tell me more, oh, wise purveyor of nut facts.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, it came in a package to my house, and each serving has 6 grams of protein. Plus, they're bold, flavorful, and just a little dangerous. You can get honey roasted, jalapeno lime chili roasted, or my favorite, which I tried this morning, dill pickle.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And as my great Aunt Olga used to say, wonderful pistachios bring the heat, the sweet, and everything in between.

[Trixie Mattel]

Plus, they come with shells or no shells for your snacking pleasure. I'm a no shells person. I can't have anything get in the way of me eating. I've got lashes to glue on. I got wigs to fluff. But if you like cracking them, I want you to live your nutcracking truth, honey.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Whether I'm backstage on the road or hiding in a wig closet with a bag in hand, wonderful pistachios are my go to. I love the flavor of them.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love them now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I love them, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

And when I'm in drag, I can't always sit and eat a whole meal. But sometimes I just need a little.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Something, A little nut.

[Trixie Mattel]

And if I have a healthy option, I'm a lot more likely to eat that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

So don't hold back, dear listeners. Grab a bag of wonderful pistachios and snack like the stunning diva you are.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Visit wonderful pistachios.com to learn more.

[Trixie Mattel]

Again, that's wonderful. Full pistachios.com to learn More. Take it from us, we know our way around a bag of nuts.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Extra value meals are back for just $5. Get a savory and sweet sausage, egg and cheese McGriddles plus hash browns and a coffee only at McDonald's for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California.

[Trixie Mattel]

And for delivery, ready or not too soon, here we come.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Belinda Runstadt Theater. We'll see you on Sunday, November 9th.

[Trixie Mattel]

You know, we should invite Tem.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, Tempestour.

[Trixie Mattel]

She lives there. I think she's still with us.

[Rachel]

Wonderful.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thursday, November 13th. We're coming to Hawaii at The blazed Dell Theater. I haven't been to Hawaii in 10 years.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Honolulu.

[Trixie Mattel]

Honolulu. Wow. Aloha tickets@trixie and kati.com. bye, Roach.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Bold and the Beautiful. Get some of your fan mail.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is Shut the up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Love you ladies.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

From the Bold and the Beautiful.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bold and the Beautiful. You probably get the weirdest. I'm so sorry. Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They probably get like dog ears and like skeletons and like weed gummies and stuff.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh my God.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I always forget that the Bold and the Beautiful exist. I also forget that Yelena Zamolachikova is a real person who probably despises me.

[Trixie Mattel]

It says love you ladies. I love that your fan mail is getting redirected. Always. Rachel Rose Oginski. Oginski, casting associate. That's so funny because I get all those actresses W2s.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I get their 1099. I have to pay them. Wait, wait, wait. I got it. Before we start. Before we start. Well, we're started. I have been doing. I have been learning an activity that is so basic and so embarrassing, I almost didn't want to share it. Learning how to type correctly. I think I told you this on the phone the other day. Mary, let me tell you, I'm. I was a hunter and a pecker. You know how the hunter gatherers back in the day. Back in the day, I was a hunt and pecker. You hunt and peck. You look and you, and you. You don't look at the screen like. You know what I mean? That's what they call it. So that was me all throughout our ball, throughout my life, in our two books, best selling books, by the way. Hunt and peck. Hunt and peck. Embarrassing. So now I'm. You know what I did.

[Trixie Mattel]

How did you write papers in college?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hunt and peck.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's fucked up, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But it's. But it's. Here's the thing though. If it's not as if like my peers were doing this.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right? That's right. This was, this was the 90s.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You had to think about shit and nothing came that quickly. It wasn't like, oh, the papers in your brain. And you just needed to like, you know, load it onto the page. No, you know what I mean? It was like you just had to think of a sentence. Oh, that sucks. Erase it. Go back. You know what I mean? It was like I wasn't a stenographer is what I'm trying to say.

[Trixie Mattel]

We had to take keyboarding in sixth grade. But honestly, my middle school experience was when like MSN messenger, like really hit and so you would go home and type to your school friends all day.

[Rachel]

I did that, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

And so in class, we had the stupid classes to learn A, S, D, F, J, K, L. And then I would go home and type to your friends. And then you accidentally become good at typing. Yeah, like, I never tried.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know. It's like speaking a language. It's like, it literally.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you know Peppermint uses. Peppermint uses T9 to text.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What the fuck is that?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, like, determine. Put the number multiple times to hit, like, C. And then swear to God. Swear to God. Wait, I don't want to air her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dirty laundry, but believe the name. Believe the name. Are you kidding me?

[Trixie Mattel]

Girl, that's. I swear.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Does she also, like, fax all of her invoices in, like. Like, what in the. Does she have cable?

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm calling her.

[Rachel]

Dial up.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm calling her.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That is Wacky Jacket.

[Trixie Mattel]

Peppermint. Peppermint.

[Rachel]

Damn.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pepper Meow. Pepper Meow. Hello? Pepper Meow.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

One of the first drag queens I ever saw live.

[Trixie Mattel]

She probably blocked me.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I hope she has.

[Peppermint]

Hey, you reached my voice.

[Trixie Mattel]

What a cunt. I hate that shit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hello?

[Trixie Mattel]

I almost started talking.

[Rachel]

Hello.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hi, leave a message. It's so diabolical.

[Trixie Mattel]

I know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, did I hear we called Peaches Christmas a gossip on the pod and she called me and she was like, I heard that you said that I was a gossip. I said, you're doing it now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know you heard. She's so fierce. I love it.

[Trixie Mattel]

But, yeah, peppermint uses T9. So what's the prognosis on you getting good at typing? Is there a goal?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So, okay, let me. Let me. Let me run you through, because I'm.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like thousand pound friends. They lose the weight and then they have like a coming out party where they win a waist belt. Are you going to have, like, a typing party?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, I'm going to have, like. Well, I'm going to write the great American novel in three and a half days.

[Trixie Mattel]

So.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No. So basically, let me tell you something. Let me. Baby, baby, honey, I need you to look and listen to understand what I'm talking about. Like, oh, I'm working on my tan. I lotion up, okay? I lotion up. And then my body becomes very slick and it's semi sensual. I wear very scantily clad undergarments. And then I perch erect at my computer. Now, I start with the very basics, of course. I'm talking D and K. That's what we're working on this lesson. D and K in space. D and k.dnk all the placement of the fingers. I haven't even ex. I haven't even gotten to all the letters yet.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I give you some tips?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. One of the helpful ones is keeping the wrist high.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I have to.

[Trixie Mattel]

This is bad. And this will hurt after a while. You.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I know, but it's so chair posture, huh?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like being the right height and everything from it is good too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's essential. This is what I have to do.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also, MacBooks suck. When I wrote our book.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They suck.

[Trixie Mattel]

Thank you. Sorry. I wrote it on my gaming PC so I could sit at a real chair with a real keyboard that clacks.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And like you realize I'm three seconds away from ordering a typewriter from Amazon. Mary, I like. I just. I want to clack and I. I can't have. I make so many mistakes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Pair to the MacBook if you like the clacking, girl. They have them on Tick tock.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, Typing Club gives you the clacking, but it just puts it in there.

[Trixie Mattel]

Typing Club.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, it's fabulous. It's free.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is it like. I think it's like duolingo for typing. Is that what it is?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It just teaches you how to use the keyboard. It's really wonderful and fabulous and they should give me. Why? I already bought their subscription, so they might as well sponsor us.

[Trixie Mattel]

Whatever.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But this keyboard I recently upgraded to this wireless keyboard and mouse combo I just found. Let's hear which keyboard sounds the best to you. That sounds like tap dancing. I love the one on a Typing club. I like the sounds they use. It's kind of keyboard sounds. It's kind of like a typewriter.

[Trixie Mattel]

You like creamy.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, that sounds like. Because you. It sounds like tap dancing. That does not sound like fingers. This sounds like feet.

[Trixie Mattel]

I love that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, anyways, the. The sounds they have on Typing Club are fabulous. And I literally just. So the first two hours. I'm telling you, it's Peppermint. Oh. Oh.

[Trixie Mattel]

I ignored the call.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Perfect.

[Trixie Mattel]

To a transomement in 2025.

[Rachel]

Now.

[Peppermint]

How dare you, girl?

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm sorry. I would. We. How are you, girl?

[Peppermint]

I'm good, girl. What's going on, girl?

[Trixie Mattel]

Katya's. We're on the pod and Katya is learning to. He doesn't know how to type with a computer very fast. And we were talking about texting. I said I think that peppermint uses T9. Is that true?

[Peppermint]

It's the truth.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Talk about it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Why do you like it?

[Peppermint]

I love it because it allows me to do one handed typing. So like just holding my phone in one hand and then type just with my thumb rather than two hands, you know, two thumbs.

[Trixie Mattel]

And what's the other hand doing?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, what's the other hand do? I make a frozen pizza, Usually punching.

[Peppermint]

Somebody in the face, I don't know, eating something, whatever. But the. But I also, on my phone, have. It's not only T9, because regular T9 is, like multitap, meaning you have to, like, push like. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, multiple times.

[Peppermint]

Yeah. But I also have predictive on. So, like, it predicts the words just like it does probably on any other keyboard. So, like, if I was going to type the word love, instead of having to type 5, 5, 5, 6, 6, 6, I just type 5, 5, 4, 8 3. And then it just types the word love.

[Trixie Mattel]

I see what you're. It kind of like 99% of the time gets it right, probably.

[Peppermint]

Oh, yeah. It's 90. The only time it doesn't get it right. I'm sure it gets it right the same amount of time as people who use the QWERTY keyboard. But I also. But I mostly. If I'm typing a lot or if I have a lot to say, then I'll use voice text, and that's where it goes wrong sometime.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, girl, I just had to get confirmation on the T9. Thank you for representing the T9 community.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Thank you for all. T9 is valid.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love you, girl.

[Peppermint]

Love you.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bye. Who was that?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Her T9 was valid.

[Trixie Mattel]

Her T. I just think of her being like. I'll tell you exactly why. T9 is fierce. She's right, though. I mean, if you're not having to do 555 like, that to me is like peppermint. We got to get you out of the butter churning. We got to get you out the bottom on the prairie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, that's very 2002. Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah, but she's very 2002.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, I saw her in the year. I think it was 2000. Must have been two. No, it actually could have been. No, I swear to God. It actually could have been that long ago. No, but the. The. The first day. What the f. It's like, with any discipline, that's like your first day of anything.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're not gonna be an expert. Right.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's why you're there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But because of. Because of, like, 40. Whatever years of. Or 30 or something. Years of incorrect muscle memory.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Girl, it was like I had just gotten legs for the first time, and I was like. I was like Ariel.

[Trixie Mattel]

Two books in, by the way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I was like Ariel, like, with that like, whoa, what do I do with these? You know, it was so, it was so discouraging. It was so humbling. It was so embarrassing. It was so rotten, wretched and ruthless. And I have been diligently, like, spending time. In spite of my extremely busy schedule, I have been carving out the time to devote to this activity. So I think I've been doing about three hours a day. And yesterday or last night was the first time I got a whole fucking thing error free. And do you realize I almost screamed at the top of my lungs, like out the window, just like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you watch TV while you do it?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, I just.

[Trixie Mattel]

You sit silently and, and keyboard yourself.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I. Sometimes I'll have a musical piece on something by Mozart or Chopin. But I want to watch TV because I, I suppose I know I can't, right? I could hear the tv, but I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like listen Tammy Brown music.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel like that would be counterproductive to type incorrectly. But like the, it's, it's. I like the hearing of the clickety clack girl stresses me out. This, the, the, the, the, the, the challenges and how fast they want you.

[Rachel]

To go stresses me out.

[Trixie Mattel]

So if you flop, they make you do it again?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, you just get an error sign. You can, you can delete and go back or you can just keep going. It's, it's very helpful type in club is they eat.

[Trixie Mattel]

How many hours a day are you devoting to this?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

About two to three.

[Trixie Mattel]

Are you lying?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, no, I, I enjoy it. Like, I'm having a blast. Because now, now that I got one fucking lesson right, I'm like, I'm the.

[Rachel]

King of the world.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I mean, now I can actually envision, it's like when you get your, when you get your first kick up into a handstand or you get your first, like, standing back tug, you're like, oh, I could be a gymnast.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

I also think, I mean unironically, I think that this will shave off time in your life when you have to write something again, which is never. Which is never.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I'm never for who.

[Trixie Mattel]

When do you think you will? Do you think that you're Paul Sheldon?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, but do you know that I.

[Rachel]

Use my computer quite often to look stuff up?

[Trixie Mattel]

You're right. Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I don't want to be like, I don't want to be a Hunt and Pecker. I don't want to be Helen Hunt, you know, I don't want to be Ms. Pecker.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you ever swipe, text, do you ever swipe?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Never in my life.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not one time. I got into it for a while.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Never in my life.

[Rachel]

Not one time.

[Trixie Mattel]

It is fast.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I feel like it's the devil's work. It's diabolical. I don't get her.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I mean, with my fingers, with my thumbs. Yeah. I could write. I mean, like everybody else on this earth, but I hate that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I do. I really, really, really like. Like a very well functioning voice to text because I like enunciating like a faggot.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hello, everyone.

[Rachel]

I am so pleased.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Actually, whispering works best. I found.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hello.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Like if my duolingo, if it wants me to speak, I whisper accurate.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it works.

[Rachel]

Yeah. It's like, hi, Trixie, I'm wondering if you have two hours on Friday to go over some details for the next shoot we're going to do, period. I'd really love to get this in the bag tomorrow, period. Perfect.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sue Ellen, we need that QED report.

[Rachel]

Yeah, I am right on top of that rose. Period.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. No, the whisper. I love the Miss Whisper.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you think that I'm right on top of that rose? Like, I remember old gays telling me about, like mommy dearest. Are we. Are we speaking of a black and white relic when we tell the young gays I'm right on top of that rose? That's a good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Is it? Is our. Do they have Tina bring me the axe are right on top of that rose or like no wire hangers?

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know. But I. What I do know is that I stand by the fashion montage in that fucking movie. Ms. Suellen Crandall on her way to become a corporate drone. The earrings, baby. The intricate hairdos, the updos, the power clashing jacket with the turtleneck. Oh, it's just like for the 90s, you know, when it was kind of tough fashion wise, sometimes it was that and then rose. Lindsay always gave it to you with that incredible page boy with all that weight and volume.

[Rachel]

This episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is sponsored by Airbnb. Hello, fellow travelers. I just returned from the mountains above Los Angeles, where autumn burns in copper and gold and the world feels stitched together by mist and pine. I stayed in a rustic yet gorgeous log cabin hosted on Airbnb. And it was so delightfully perfect, it could have been dreamt up by Thoreau himself. It had stone fireplaces, creaky floorboards, and the faint aroma of wood smoke and coffee con leche. As I watched the morning fog slip through the hills, I realized something. While I was away, my own Hollywood home could be earning its keep.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because, like me, you already have a home.

[Rachel]

So why not host it on Airbnb? It's a practical, beautifully simple idea. While you're away, your home could be hosted on Airbnb. It's like making your vacation on the house, financing itself while you chase new horizons while frolicking in the pine scented woods above Los Angeles. Now, for me, the next horizon is the picturesque Amalfi coast this Christmas. Sparkling seas, endless plates of tagliatelle enjoyed al fresco, and perhaps a fleeting flirtation with a charming Italian man with dark features who rides a Vespa and will serenade me with a mandolin as the waves gently caress the shore. And if I list my place in Hollywood while I'm living my Italian Christmas dream, that bit of extra income could help fund the kitchen remodel I've been daydreaming about since spring. The best part is it's easier than ever to host. So whether you're heading to the mountains, the coast, or somewhere in between, consider it a vacation that can help pay for itself. Find out how much your home could be worth if you hosted on Airbnb, because your next trip could be a vacation on the house. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how [e-mail] host that's airbnb.com.

[Trixie Mattel]

Host today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by BetterHelp. You better help. I'm going to tell you, I've gotten help and help is fine, but when the help is better, oh my God, everything is different. I want to tell you this too. You are not a machine. You are not only validated by what you produce. We live in in a country. Well, I live in a country where everything is about, you're only worth what you can make. You're only worth what you can produce. And it doesn't give you any time to strip all the way, strip all that away and think, if I wasn't my job, if I wasn't money, if I wasn't what I owe people or what I'm generating. What about myself do I really like? And what about myself can I appreciate? And on the flip side of the coin, what part of myself can I sharpen and improve on? I know for me I'm my best self when I'm in a mood where I can take time to focus on friends and family. Because for me, it's almost a little out of character. But it's something I've been trying to do better. Well, last year I talked about in therapy a little bit about my family and communicating. And just two days ago I called my mom and said, hello, I haven't spoke to you since September 22nd. Let's talk. And I know for me just making the call and not having anxiety about like I haven't talked to this family member in a while, you know, just picking up the phone and doing it, I know that I leave that conversation like a better person for the day. Feeling like I touched base with my family. I feel better about it, but that's because therapy gave me an opportunity to reflect and like improve. And what I like about better help, specifically talk therapy at Better help is you can do it from any time, anywhere. You can switch therapists at any time for any reason. You don't have to be on camera that day. You could sometimes just do a phone conversation. I've even been on airplanes where I do therapy via like messaging for the day because I'm on a plane. There are so many ways to get care and it makes it easier to get it. I live in Los Angeles where I have done in person therapy and I would be in the car for an hour trying to get a few miles away. You know, I always did therapy in the afternoons. A 5pm trip to therapy in Los Angeles, then you need therapy. The traffic makes your mental state worse. This month don't wait to reach out, okay? Whether you're checking in a friend or family or anybody or to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] Baldwin that's Better Help. H E L P.com bald you better help. Have you gotten these targeted like reels that are the people getting the eye color change surgeries with the contact lens just inserted into the skin. Girl, you want to talk horror. I every time one comes up I have to watch it and I watch it pissed. Pissed off. The reveal of these people having Hollywood.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Boulevard, Dorothy's sort of 34.99 Halloween shipment demonica or exotica or the gothica lenses. It's diabolical.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's 45 year old dusky gentleman saying give me the ice blue eyes with the bloodshot red white.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well that's what I get into. I want this full sclera black with a little bit of red on the sides. I it's fierce girl. It's fierce. I am a person. I am a person who gives less than any about eyes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like it needs to be Investigated. David Boanas and Bones needs to get down here. Scully and Mulder, every TV Columbo get down here.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Jessica Fletcher, Matlock. Yeah, Both of the ones, the old one and the new one.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's crazy. The comments are like, you need to stop doing this to people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

The comments are like, it's flagrant.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's flagrant. It's flagrant. It's so insane too. It's like I look back on our years of like using those crazy contacts for dramatic drag effect. It just looks ghoulish and weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

But it's not even always successful for the dragoons.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So what about frequently not. And I understand what it can be helpful in that. It. Because your lashes, for example, and your heavy dark makeup, you can see your eyeballs on the stage. Sometimes you can't. But these people are human beings going to nine to five bank jobs and what have you. And they look like they're in a, like a low budget Alien movie. It's so wild. I don't ever give a shit. I have never given a shit about eye color or eyes in general. Like, oh, he has the most amazing eyes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Who cares?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't fuck his eyes.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's what I get. What I don't get is looking in the mirror and like dark eyes light. A lot of things people could do if they wanted to change up their look. Hair, outfits, injectables, veneers. Yeah. A facelift, a tan.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A tan diet ears, pin backed. It's a gold tooth.

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, give me the good old Hollywood Boulevard permanent lenses. And then the follow up, they're like, how are you loving it? They're like, honestly, it's incredible. And they're sitting there with their eyes look like two little M and M's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's so up.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's up, girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

Make it stop.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I will, I will. I will devote my life to that. I'll stop working for PETA and I'll. I will. I'll focus my efforts on. No more color contact. Eyeball surgeries.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's. I don't know what it is. What's the. What's another.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's the equivalent of it getting, like, is there equivalent? Because it is so outrageous. It. It's so bizarre and it's so fraudulent.

[Rachel]

What.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's another thing? Like, I don't.

[Trixie Mattel]

It would. The British. The British veneers, when it's like one.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Big white tooth where it's just like a porcelain retainer.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Like maybe like that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you. Speaking of that, do you know Where I can get a feel. A very realistic orthodontia made of brace teeth. With braces. Because that's going to be my new drag look.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, Dr. Sun probably do it for you.

[Rachel]

Really?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. She can do cosmetic work or like something you could put in and take out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Flipper. Yeah, with braces. The old fashioned kind.

[Trixie Mattel]

She has every kind of dental knowledge you could ever get.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fierce.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I also looked. I looked into sedation dentistry, because baby, it's dent. It's. I'm long overdue. And I. I mean, wow. Front page news. Nobody a person doesn't like going to the dentist.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's awful though.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But like, I want to be. I want them to just put me in a coma.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Put me in a coma.

[Trixie Mattel]

It sucks. Even the cleaning. I'm a little overdue for cleaning. I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Even the cleaning. It's the cleaning.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

When the dental hygienist takes out her Nazi, like suitcase full of torture instruments.

[Trixie Mattel]

The rifle with the bayonet on the end. That's how they clean your teeth.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's like we don't have picks or like little water hoses.

[Trixie Mattel]

I also give up because it's like I have. I floss every day and no matter what happens, you go in and they're like, are you flossing?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes, I am.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Well, and that's another thing is too. It's like, you can lecture me. You can, but you can't torture me at the same time. You got to pick a lane. You can't do lecture and torture. Plus, now that I'm a little bit more aged and have a teeny bit more ability to kind of stand up for myself, I am not a. You know, I can lightly touch the hygienist and say, this is extremely painful.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I'm.

[Trixie Mattel]

I want to stay there and let them pull the tooth. I mean, like, it's great. Love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The old me would have stayed there. Tears like. Like soaking the chair with sweat, gripping the thing and then just tears coming out of my eyes. That was like last year.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

But not the new. You changed everything.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The tan.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was the. Your hair is kind of. Molly in Danger girl.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Autumn Sunrise.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, the cut. The bowl cut she has in that movie.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, Molly Jensen.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Molly Jensen.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I wish I.

[Trixie Mattel]

You said Autumn Sunrise.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, my God. I wish, though, because she had that kind of. My mom had that haircut. My. My mom's sister had the haircut. It's like. It's the. It's kind of like a Tapered. Fade on the.

[Trixie Mattel]

That woman also has it in. Is it hand that marks single white female? Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Right, baby?

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

She really has it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Bridget Fonda.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Mary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's the kind of shit I'm like.

[Trixie Mattel]

Did you see they're redoing hand that works a cradle. How do you feel?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't feel great. I don't feel great. I don't feel great about it at all.

[Trixie Mattel]

I.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I don't. Rebecca. I saw a thing with Rebecca De Mornay, how she was. She just found out about it. She wasn't approach or anything. Not that she needs to.

[Trixie Mattel]

To be approached.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's not, you know, if they're not thinking of redoing the movie or whatever. But I give her the cameo.

[Rachel]

No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Make her be the friend. You know, the friend of. But I think it's a series.

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Or the gardener.

[Trixie Mattel]

Or the gardener.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But because there's an iconic scene that is extremely disturbing. It's just a dialogue between Peyton Flanders and the. I forget what his name is. Wilson. Maybe the gardener. Where she says a very prohibited word and it's like it.

[Trixie Mattel]

I remember that when she's talking to the gardener.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. And it really. Right before she frames him for like molestation.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It really cements her villainy.

[Trixie Mattel]

She's evil.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, she's evil.

[Trixie Mattel]

And it does its job. The viewer goes, oh, this is awful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's extremely impactful. It's like one. It's not like on a comedy, a stupid comedy, but, you know, it's Seth Rogen or whatever. Or whatever. Where it's used to be like, just willy nilly as an insult. This is a very. It's like, oh, this woman is evil. I doubt we're going to get that kind of edge, but maybe we will.

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't know. They'll probably go crazier. I think it'll be like Megan, where it's like super gay now.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I hope not, because I love the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Hand that Rocks, the Hand that slays the Cradle Diva. It's all going to happen during Pride.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, no.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Pride campaign. The Hand that Rocks the Cradle float in the WeHo Pride parade.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What would that be?

[Trixie Mattel]

The real gaze of weho rocking a cradle on top of it. No, the Fab Five.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a breast pump.

[Trixie Mattel]

The Fab.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She rigged the greenhouse. And she rigged the greenhouse for me. I love that movie.

[Trixie Mattel]

The last episode of all the Beautiful, when you had the longer blonde wig on somebody, you looked like fashion superstar Carson Kressley.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. Love that. That's I take that as a very good compliment.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I tell you some other things that happened?

[Rachel]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

I haven't seen you in so long.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's true.

[Trixie Mattel]

I went up to Wisconsin for my birthday.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, happy birthday, by the way. I did not get you a single gift.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's totally okay. I turned 36.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

30.

[Trixie Mattel]

And I was supposed to. 36. I was supposed to go for the full weekend, but as you know, I got a very exciting television thing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh yeah, you got an Oscar?

[Trixie Mattel]

Nom. Yeah. No, but I got this tiny little TV job that was so worth staying in town. I love the show. So I was like, I'm doing it. So I end up taking the red eye to Green Bay. I've never red eyed to Green Bay. Being at the Chicago airport at like five in the morning was weird. I don't know what it was. I think it was on American. So I get my rental car and I asked for a Volkswagen Jetta. And they go, we upgraded you. It's a Hyundai Sonata.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What?

[Trixie Mattel]

That's not an upgrade.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But it was. Can I say it's a Ferrari Testarossa.

[Trixie Mattel]

Good. Gorgeous lane assist, gorgeous safety features. It had the thing intuitive, what do you call it, where it'll cruise control until you get so close to a car and then naturally slow down. I was barely driving. I just had both nipple. I was wired both nipples hooked up.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I get to up north in Wisconsin, the cabin I got on Airbnb. Am I so big that the chair is just disintegrating?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Huge.

[Trixie Mattel]

Damn. I get up there and I guess I didn't quite pay attention because up north in Wisconsin, the two types of rentals are either one tiny little cabin with like one toilet, one bedroom, or a McMansion. Massive estates. Yeah, not McMansions, like sprawling estates. I accidentally got the sprawling estate. So I get there.

[Rachel]

How many square feet?

[Trixie Mattel]

Two entire buildings, two different buildings. Sleeps 15.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. So I get there, it's four of us, right? Me, my friend, my brother, his girlfriend, and we're all there. And I realized quickly, I'm like, this is. It's maybe a quarter mile from the street I grew up on in that trailer. And for the weekend it was three grand. I was like, damn, Dan, we lived in the wrong fucking house in this neighborhood. Because apparently some of these are fierce rentals. But it was gorgeous. It was a great week. Went on little walks, went to bars, went out to eat, had a wonderful time. It's always good to go up there and just check it out, kick the tires, make sure everything's Going. Going good.

[Rachel]

Kick the tires.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love going up north. Silver Cliff, Wisconsin. Gorgeous, gorgeous place to visit.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Picturesque, epic vistas.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, my dream was to go to the Marinette County State. The Marinette County Fair.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Now, what's the dry there?

[Trixie Mattel]

It's in Wisaukee, Wisconsin. I used to go every summer and I was like, you know, I want to do. For my birthday this year, I want to go check out that fucking fair. Loved it. Went there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Pig contests.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yes. So 4H is huge. So there's all these animal barns. Get to see the baby animals, the chickens, mini moos. What Mini moos? What's a mini moo?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

A small cow. No, no, I mean micro cow. It's true. It's true.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love to see the goats. Anytime it's a black goat, instantly evil. I always think it's instantly evil. The witch movie where the goat is evil.

[Rachel]

Philip.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Dr. Phillip. Dr. Phillip. Dr. Philip.

[Trixie Mattel]

Phil. Black Phillip. Yes. So whenever I see a black goat with the horns, I'm like, that's the Satan goat. Sure, sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Very reasonable.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love to see the chickens. Love to see these children who know everything about animals, like Little Miss Fames who are, like, standing next to their cage with their chicken with the blue ribbon and being like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, because I probably grew up on a farm.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right, Right.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Also, I got. There's always Ms. 4H, who's always that. It's like a. A girl wearing a crown in a prom dress who's like the queen of the fair.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What are the four H's?

[Trixie Mattel]

I. Hospitality. Homosexuality.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Hobo is H vac and H vac and homoism.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. Yes, hoboism. So then I go in and there's having a part of the animal. The kids all show the animals and they give awards, like Best in Show, basically.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

But it's farm animals, right? Yeah. So I'm watching, and. And there's one thing where they all have costumes on. So the animals dressed up and the owners dressed up in, like, coordinating costumes. And one of the kids was, like, in drag in my hometown with, like, a Pink Pony Club goat. My brother and I are watching, and I go. He goes, what do you think? I said it honestly reminds me of Drag Race because it was like, all these people lined up like, thank you, ladies, we've heard enough. And it's all these, like, elementary school kids with, like, truly a billy goat with a clown wig on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

God, it was so. I love that shit. Anybody have a lizard or like a long kila monster or something? No, it's more like farm animals.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah. So I didn't stay around to see.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who went chickens, etc.

[Trixie Mattel]

But also love going up there cuz everything's affordable. Like the parking at the fair. Guess how much the parking at the fair was free. $2.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, there you go.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Parking at Beyonce, 100 bucks.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love to run into people from high school, see what's going on there, see who's died, stuff like that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, on that, on that note, I am always fascinated by the gay. The post, the gay, the high school reunion for the average gay person. Especially for the person who has not, was not out in high school. You know what I mean? Like you revisit sometimes your success, success story. I would consider myself somewhat of one.

[Trixie Mattel]

But no one cares about me up there.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

No, but they're all like. A lot of them are like either dead or they got a wife or husband they hate or their children or they're like alcoholics. You know what I mean? It's like some of them peak in high school and it's a real sleep, like a real steep slope downward, right? It's always nice to go back and be like, yeah, I'm gay and I'm.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm more. I think I'm more like someone. Some. Someone said, someone, Someone. Like I was at the bar and I was like, oh. And they were like, what are you doing in town? I said, well, and I always specify up there, I'm actually from here. Because if you're not of town, everyone hates you. Really? It's tourism. But it's like we hate rich city yuppie people being like, you don't look.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like a rich city yuppie person.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but up there we call them shackers. People who come on the weekends are doing tourism in the summer. It's like on one hand we depend on it for business, and the other hand it's like fucking city people come up here and something about city people in the country, they act like they, it's. It's unplowed earth and they can do anything. It's littering. It's loud music. It's like, like a group of city guys acting like they are better than everyone or you know, it's very.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That littering should be a capital offense punishable by death.

[Trixie Mattel]

Shoot him.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Chop the head right off.

[Trixie Mattel]

So then I'm talking to this bartender and I go, she goes, what do you do for a living? I said, oh, I actually do drag.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She goes, you said dragon at entertainment.

[Trixie Mattel]

I was drunk. Oh, so. And then I go, she goes, there's actually some kid grew up a Few blocks from here, if you like. Some kid grew up over on boat landing 11 road who did the RuPaul's. And I was like, but, but I mean is. They don't know who I am, but they heard someone from there was on Drag Race.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That was you she was talking about.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Madame laqueer. She's also. No, I'm just kidding. She's also from. We're all kind of Madame La Queer in a way.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

In a way, In a way. It was, it was. Wasn't the destination. It was the Madam Liqueurs we met along the way. Great drag name.

[Trixie Mattel]

Wait, that sounds like the drag king. The drag queen character in like a CW show.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And the widow Von Du can't get.

[Trixie Mattel]

Enough of that widow fondue.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The widow. No, not fondue.

[Trixie Mattel]

Widow fondue.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Widow fondue. Little fondue is her son.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, there's, there's, there's, there's the big fondue and then widow fondue.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Widow fondue. Speech impediment. Speech impediment.

[Trixie Mattel]

But it was a fun trip and I love to go to the county fair. It was. If you're not a kid and you don't have kids once you see the animals. Unless you want to watch a tractor pole. I was like, well, what now? You know.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, you know, you're not excited. You don't turn up for the biggest pumpkin contest.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, that's not till fall festival.

[Rachel]

Of course.

[Trixie Mattel]

Fall festival is in September, I believe. Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You love a hayride. You with a hayride girl. Haunted or otherwise.

[Trixie Mattel]

We do haunted hayrides up there. People with chainsaws. That's coming out of the corn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Terrifying.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's terrifying.

[Trixie Mattel]

They have the chain off, allegedly.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It doesn't sound like that when I. Right, it certainly does. And there's plenty of gas in that thing.

[Trixie Mattel]

When you're kid and you're in your winter clothes on the hayride and nowhere to run.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Mask comes out screaming, legs dangling. Nowhere to run, girl.

[Trixie Mattel]

Bury. Skirt.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Skirt.

[Rachel]

My friends, this episode of the Bald and the Beautiful is brought to you by ritual. As you all no doubt realize, the holiday season approaches. A time of merriment, of roasted turkeys and rivers of gravy. Of pies so rich they could bankrupt the gods themselves. But as we gather around tables heaving with abundance, there is one silent hero we must not neglect. The noble gut microbiome. That unseen orchestra conducting the grand symphony of our well being. Now, let's be honest with each other. Our diets this time of year are chaos incarnate. Cookies for breakfast, cheese boards at midnight, popsicles in the car, ham hocks in the basketball hoop. And yet, in the face of this onslaught of gluttony, I refuse to let my body surrender to this buttery bacchanal. Nay, my friends, I shall emerge triumphant, for I have Ritual Symbiotic plus at my side. This is no mere supplement. It is a three in one powerhouse of clinically studied prebiotics, probiotics and postbiotics. All. All forged to bring balance, bloat, relief and digestive glory to your weary system. One mint scented capsule a day elegantly delayed to reach the colon where the true work of gut salvation begins. That's right. And yes, it's vegan, GMO free and tested for heavy metals and allergens. It's pure, clean and radiant as a winter sunrise. I've taken ritual for months now and I can feel the steadiness in my system, the peace of mind that even during the darkest days of pie season, I'm filling the nutrient gaps with ritual Symbiotic plus. It's like a little bit of armor for my insides, resilience for my digestion and harmony for the holidays. So this season, while others fall to their sugar comas and stuffing sorrows, you shall stand strong, rise above the rest, conquer the bloat and declare dominion over your digestion for rituals. Black Friday sale is here. And your gut, dear listener, deserves its moment of triumph. So get your gut going. Support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic plus. Our listeners get early access to their Black Friday sale for 40% off your first month at ritual.com bald that's ritual.com bald for 40% off your first month. Don't miss out on their best sale of the season.

[Trixie Mattel]

Today's episode of Bald and Beautiful is brought to you by Smalls. Now, if you know me, you know I'm not a cat person. You know I'm a lifelong vegetarian. You know that I've had every type of pet. I've had birds. I've had fish. I've had turtles. I've had dogs, cats, rabbits. I've had gerbils and hamsters. Yes, there's a difference. I. I've had really every type of pet. We were a pet family. Even though we were living below poverty, we were a pet family. We loved having a million pets. And so even though I'm not a cat person, I was one of those kids that was raised to really care about the quality of life of your pets. I mean, I would say, you know, human, children, who cares? But pets, animals, that's where I think we really spring, we spring for quality. Don't you think? Like it's 20, 25, turn on the news. I wouldn't say that humans have winning qualities at this point in history, but animals, animals are out here and they can't always do it for themselves. It's up for us to do it for them. And something I do know about cats is they do have to eat. And if you're gonna feed your cat, you should feed them regularly and the highest quality food possible. You guys know our sister podcast, Kelly Mantle. We feed her Smalls and she loves it. She really loves it. Honestly. It's made her so regular, it's made her coat so shiny, makes her sleep deeper. What I love about Smalls is for real for all you cat divas. Smalls cat food is protein packed recipes made with preservative free ingredients that you can find in your fridge. When I first moved to la, my roommate Lee, he passed away. Now he had two cats, Shotzi and Loco, and he would make their cat food from vegetables and like lean chicken. And I had never seen that before. And I feel like with Smalls, that level care for your cat can be available to you, like delivered to your home. I'm just gonna say love animals. I have so many vivid memories of going to buy pet food at the store and hauling giant bags of pet food into the home. I love Smalls because if you're a cat diva, you're busy picking up hair, you don't have time to go to the grocery store. Okay. Unless you have one of those hairless cats and then you're probably doing blackhead extractions. People who love Smalls say that the fur on their cats is softer and I mean their winter coat will be soft and healthy. I just really think we need to do the absolute best we can for our pets. I think it's the most important thing that you can do. What are you waiting for? Give your cat the food they deserve. For a limited time because you are a bald and a beautiful listener, you can get 60% off your first order plus free shipping. When you head to smalls.com bald one more time, that's 60% off your first order plus free shipping. When you had to smalls.com bald do you know what I did just last week?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Did you buy the rv?

[Trixie Mattel]

I went to Camping World in Sturtevant, Wisconsin and I test drove a bunch of stunning motorhomes. Tell me about it. Well, I thought I was. I had a bunch of ideas for what I wanted to drive, but I thought what I really want to do is go somewhere where I can go in a bunch of them, look at a bunch of them, look at the specs. And the more I looked at them, the more I was like, I want one of these. If I'm going to get rid of my condo, I want one of these.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Big horny expandable ones like Will Smith has.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, yeah. So I got to drive one of the big class A ones. I felt magical and powerful.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You don't need a special license. You don't need a special license for those.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not if it's under 40ft and under £26,000.

[Rachel]

Wow.

[Trixie Mattel]

So I was cruising down the highway in the giant motorhome.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

So you just.

[Trixie Mattel]

It was so kind.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I have full body chills for the wrong reasons. You just described one of my gravest, most terrifying, emotional, like, nightmare.

[Trixie Mattel]

I loved it. It was a 2025, so it had a lot of safety features.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, yeah, you're not gonna die, but you're gonna kill like four other people. Or rather I wouldn't die.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's kind of what I liked about it. I'm like, you want to crash into my car?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I want to be the perp, not the vic.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right? You're going to bounce off you and your Volvo, bitch.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You really. You're merging onto that freeway with that fucking death machine at £20,000.

[Trixie Mattel]

The only reason I didn't make the move and buy it was because I have to figure out storage, because I need indoor storage for the winter. And B, would you store that shit?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, Wisconsin.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, and B, I, I bet this is high season. I was like, I bet if I wait till fall, they'll be looking to cut a deal.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Seller's market or buy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right? Because everyone's buying it in the summer to go on vacation. But if you buy it before winter, get a good deal, what's it, and.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How much are these things running for?

[Trixie Mattel]

The one I was looking at was $200,000.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Holy smokes.

[Trixie Mattel]

But you could get used ones if you wanted. But I looked at six different used ones and they all smelled used.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Well, that's where a little potpourri dangle comes in. A little. A little glade. You put it right on the vent. I just did that recently.

[Trixie Mattel]

The big ones are for like people who are traveling. It's Sleep six because we got all our snot nosed kids. It's like the kid vibes gotta go.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. We have prolific serial killers on the Lam.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Then I was in Milwaukee and I drove around to all the different RV parks to tour them all and see what they look like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's the vibe?

[Trixie Mattel]

The people who are part time in RV are very different than the full time people.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Sure.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's a very different world.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Interlopers. And then hardcorers. The hardcore are a little more grizzled, ornery.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're on the lamb from society.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Let's say milky eyes.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, yeah. I'm obviously aspiring to be a very part time. So you're summers only.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're a city slick and interloper.

[Trixie Mattel]

Let's interloper.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And these people are about to harvest you for organs for sure. When you're not looking.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. For sure.

[Rachel]

Damn.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Fucking.

[Rachel]

Hey.

[Trixie Mattel]

So it was really. I was. I was really scared to drive such a big vehicle. And then. It was thrilling. I loved it.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm so happy that you love it. I would not be thrilled at all to do that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Camping world.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Camping World.

[Trixie Mattel]

Not a great name. I mean, I guess it is direct like the name. What it is. It's a world of camping.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, I'm obsessed with that REI store, with the guide. The giant fish tank he got in naked. Do you remember that? There was the big REI fear. Yeah. There's a huge like fish tank kind of situation in an REI somewhere in the country. And he just jumped in. Teeny little penis.

[Rachel]

Love that.

[Trixie Mattel]

Rei. The most Caucasian store driving.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Listen, I just want to re. I want to reiterate for the 685,000 time. Driving is so dangerous.

[Trixie Mattel]

But I love it. No.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, you love a dangerous thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Let me tell you why too. Some things I forgot about driving. Some things I forgot about are the peace in the car today when I leave this set with you, which is.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know, you have to drive me home, by the way.

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but to sit in the car and reflect on what I just did privately while I drive home is like such a missing punctuation of the day. Being in the car alone between, oh, going to the store, going, whatever. Love it. Also buying big shit, putting it in your car, not needing to get help.

[Rachel]

Sure.

[Trixie Mattel]

And let me tell you, Drive Thrus.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, I hate drives, Sonic.

[Trixie Mattel]

I hate Drive Thrus Culver.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Do you know how many times I.

[Trixie Mattel]

Had Culver's when I was Wisconsin? I was stopping twice a day.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What is Culver?

[Trixie Mattel]

Sometime. Sometimes I was just stopping for a Diet Coke because I love a, you know, a nice ice, big Diet Coke. And I felt like one of those cunts in the car eating Chicken nuggets. Talking to Tik Tok. You know what I mean?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Talking to Tik Tok.

[Trixie Mattel]

People love to eat in the car.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, that's right. That's right. They do. They do their.

[Trixie Mattel]

That's so crashing out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What's that?

[Trixie Mattel]

These people need to elevate their definition of crashing out.

[Rachel]

What does that mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Like, oh, I'm having a meltdown. I've hit my breaking point. I'm freaking out.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But I'm filming it crisply and cleanly on TikTok.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's like, oh, my God, I'm crashing out. They didn't have my shade of foundation. It's like, girl, it, crash out. I watch Netflix. I'm like, people kill their whole family. That's a crash. I also watched this other TikTok that was talking about, like in all these doc. If you watch all these murder documentaries on Netflix, Hulu and the like, it boils down to, like, white men who won't divorce. So they just kill everyone. Like they're having an affair.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The easier, softer way.

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah, they're just like, I could never divorce. I guess I'm just gonna have to drown my children and have my wife killed.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hey, listen, different strokes. Have you been. Do you get into Alien Earth?

[Rachel]

Dare we talk to you about this?

[Trixie Mattel]

No, but everybody says it's so good.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Babies boy, rewatched. Alien 1 did you. Great, right?

[Trixie Mattel]

Amazing.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then Alien 2. James Cameron. Don't really not a huge fan. Titanic. But like, you know, he really goes. He really yanks that shit off. Like he. It's like you see one monster in the first one, you know, there you.

[Rachel]

See fucking hundreds of them in this one. You see that big ass nasty queen.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

With all them fucking laying all them.

[Trixie Mattel]

Eggs and it's all the queen of the big head.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The queen is Ms. Nasty.

[Rachel]

Ms.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Nasty. Put some clothes on.

[Rachel]

You're not.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You're gross. Don't walk out that hive without your clothes on.

[Trixie Mattel]

Right.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Like bulbous egg. It's just so over the top. They got robots, they got synthetics.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because in the first one I. When that guy ends up being a robot, I kind of forgot gagged and I was gagged.

[Rachel]

Gagged.

[Trixie Mattel]

And the practical effects of his head sitting there talking with the white. With the white blood. Cunty white blood is so weird too.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Same thing in. In Aliens.

[Trixie Mattel]

Sigourney is so gorgeous.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

She's so good. She's so good. She's so damn good. And this fucking. They got this bitch, Ms. Yutani, on the new series where there's five corporations that like, pretty much run the world in this version of Earth. Oh, mama. She goes in. Diva doesn't even begin.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you need to watch all the movies? Because I think I've only seen one and two.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's perfect.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's actually perfect. Yeah. There's really not a lot of new pertinent. I mean, there is new information, but it's not pertinent. And actually, I feel like it'll make this experience more enjoyable because there will be new discoveries that are actually cleaner and more concise and precise. You will love it. Is hunt. They are turning it.

[Trixie Mattel]

When I was doing my horror movie binge, like last month, I did watch Halloween one, the one you said you don't really respond to. But then I watched the three that are in the newest ones. The Halloween. Halloween Kills. And Halloween ends.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Okay.

[Trixie Mattel]

Because you don't really need to watch the middle ones. They cut them out narratively.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And there's one that's really off kilter.

[Trixie Mattel]

The last season of the Witch that people. Yeah. Oh, are you talking about.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The Season of the Witch is like something else.

[Trixie Mattel]

Something else.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rachel]

Something else.

[Trixie Mattel]

Well, I think I remember reading that they originally were going to just have it be, if anything, like an anthology series about different things that have happened on Halloween. Oh. But then Michael Myers was so slay that they kind of got locked into that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Interesting.

[Trixie Mattel]

Weird. Obviously they're gonna do a Gladys prequel. Right? They said.

[Rachel]

Oh, really?

[Trixie Mattel]

Of course. They're gonna milk that whore Amy Madigan. Get her her an Oscar.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, no, she was great.

[Trixie Mattel]

She gotta get behind Nev Campbell, though. They're gonna do the horror Oscars. I have a list, Tony.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, she'd clean up. Hereditary.

[Trixie Mattel]

I will do the voice, too, at the Oscars. Toni Collette. Hereditary.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Hereditary.

[Trixie Mattel]

They're gonna say some shit like that.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Who do you think? What do you think your top five horror movies of all time would be? And say. But don't think about too hard, obviously.

[Trixie Mattel]

The shinning.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The shitting. Yes. The sheening.

[Trixie Mattel]

The sheening. It eats.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's. It's. It eats.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's hu.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

The shinning. Scream.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Scream.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay, Abby. And let's say Wally. I'm just kidding. I don't know. Those are maybe the two I can think of.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What about. Okay, three more.

[Rachel]

Come on.

[Trixie Mattel]

The first Nightmare on Elm Street, I was.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

That's definitely in my list.

[Trixie Mattel]

Is the Cunt factory.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, that's on my list, too.

[Trixie Mattel]

Can I say those? Does it have to be five?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It has to be five or I'm Gonna kill myself.

[Trixie Mattel]

It has to be five. Oh, it. I mean, there you go. All of them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

There you go.

[Trixie Mattel]

Any and all of them.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, yeah. Mine would probably be Nightmare on Elm Street. One Candyman. The original got would be the.

[Trixie Mattel]

Don't you love Suspiria?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I like the first one, but I. I don't like. I'm not. I don't nut for it. I've only seen it once.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I like the. What is it? Maybe the Hellraiser. The first one, it's pretty nasty. And then the first one, I just rewatched that too. It's crazy. It's crazy.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love that redhead woman who's wrecked with sexual desire.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yes.

[Trixie Mattel]

With the whore makeup on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah. Because it's horny.

[Trixie Mattel]

It's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's super horny. Clyde Barker is a very lusty gentleman.

[Trixie Mattel]

Very lusty. I would fuck that guy who is Skinless Frank.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Trixie Mattel]

In the second one, when he comes out of the bloody mattress and she's kissing him while he has no skin on.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, that's me after his chemical peel.

[Trixie Mattel]

I. You watch that and you're like, the Cenobites aren't even bad guys. No. They're just travelers opening this.

[Rachel]

Yeah, they're just.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They're just making their way through the. The universe. Bippity boppity boobity.

[Rachel]

And then show you what.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, it's. I. I rewatched the.

[Rachel]

The.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The. The new one, and I'm like, God, this. Like, what was going on here? Like, what was going on here? I. I thought it was. I thought Jamie Clayton as the new pinhead was very intriguing. Very intriguing. But, like, the story was, like, so toothless and. And kind of nothing. It was so weird. So, so weird.

[Trixie Mattel]

The first one's very sexual.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's very sexual. It's very disturbing. It's very gory.

[Rachel]

Nasty.

[Trixie Mattel]

Love that final girl too. That girl from that first one is excellent.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And then my fifth one would be.

[Trixie Mattel]

Her dad gets killed. I mean, all these people getting killed in her house. She don't even know. Boop. Anytime you're moving in life and someone cuts their hand, it's like an empty house you just bought and there's blood on the floor. You have to move. You have to move, because that's gonna be the awakening. That's gonna be the portals opening. The chains flying out of the walls, up the pussy.

[Rachel]

That's.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

See, that's like. That's the kind of shit when there's. When there's chains flying out from place, like from hell and then ripping my Skin apart. That's when I really try to. That's when I'm really going to reevaluate my choices.

[Trixie Mattel]

It kind of gross, too, the way the chains grab the skin and stretch it.

[Rachel]

It's disgusting.

[Trixie Mattel]

But also, in that first movie, that guy's looking for, like. I mean, obviously the metaphor is also, like, sex and drugs. Right. It's some kind of extreme high that he's chasing with, like, pain and pleasure sensation. Yeah. So then there's these kind of priest figures who have the belief that pain is pleasure, et cetera. Maybe the book is more together, but the movie, I don't. I mean.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

The book is just a novella, I believe. I think my number one would be the Exorcist.

[Trixie Mattel]

Whoa.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because it's still shocking and you love exercise. Yeah. It's still as shocking as it ever was. Lick me. Lick me. Forcing. Taking her mom's head and putting it in her bloody puss that she just, like, jabbed with a crucifix and saying, lick me, and then throwing her across the room.

[Trixie Mattel]

That was the movie that people were leaving. Have you ever heard, like, the interviews of people leaving being like, it's obscene. It should be banned.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rachel]

Absolutely.

[Trixie Mattel]

Jesus. See, people get so fucking weird.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

But the book is fabulous, too. I mean, I read the book and I tore through. It's a page. Great beach read, by the way. Um, it's like, fierce. Great. William Peter Blatty or something like that. It's a great book.

[Trixie Mattel]

Beach read, beach read.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Tearing through that shit. Lick me. Lick me. Yeah. Do you know what she did, Your cunting daughter?

[Trixie Mattel]

If you had a child and they got possessed, I mean, you have to call the exorcism.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Shotgun right to the head.

[Trixie Mattel]

I'm not calling. I'm calling the two actors from the conjuring who play Ed and Lorraine.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga.

[Trixie Mattel]

Vera. Vera, get down here. Okay. Get the Ouija board. Let's go.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I'm getting. I'm getting Oda Mae Brown.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, for sure.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Because she could talk him out of anything. I recently we rewatched Ghost with my friend Joseph. He hadn't seen it.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you love it?

[Rachel]

He loves.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you cry?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't know if he cried.

[Trixie Mattel]

I cried at the end when she says goodbye.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's too much when she. You know what kills me is when she's. She rolls. She rolls the jar of the penny down the stairs and it breaks and I lose it. It's just such a wonderful, simple image, and it's so lonely and it's so sad.

[Trixie Mattel]

Oh, her whole life is.

[Rachel]

Oh.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do you think she ever gets over it? Do you think she ever dates?

[Rachel]

I think she absolutely does.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

And I think she and Oda are like. They're like BFFs.

[Trixie Mattel]

If your partner dies, that husband or wife. Do you think. Do you think it's an act of love to never date again? Some people do that. No, you move on. They would.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

They would want you to be happy. They would want you to be happy. But the real crime of that movie is that Sam Wheat didn't let her keep even a million of that check. I don't care if it was blood money. You terrorize this black woman's life for like three months.

[Trixie Mattel]

She doesn't.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You know what I mean?

[Trixie Mattel]

Yeah.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Where's her reward?

[Trixie Mattel]

And let. Let. Let your late wife or your widowed wife have a little cash.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

How about.

[Trixie Mattel]

What about half and half the nuns also?

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

It's a very, like. Do your research, you know, none of these nuns, they could be grifters.

[Trixie Mattel]

Do your research. They could be Seven Day Adventists or.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

What is it, Salvation Army? Hate the gays?

[Trixie Mattel]

Bummer.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

You gotta do your research if you're gonna cash. You got a four million dollar check. I say two goes to Molly. Two goes to Oda Mae Brown. Well, are we gonna do All Stars? Are we gonna do All Stars recaps?

[Trixie Mattel]

I think we should, but I think we should wait until we, like, run out of things to talk about or we're on tour or, like.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Oh, really?

[Trixie Mattel]

Cuz I'm afraid of doing them all close together and then we're just another Drag Race recap podcast. All the girls reheating their own nachos.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Is that what's happening?

[Trixie Mattel]

I don't want to do that. I think our lives are too interesting.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

I don't like regular nachos, so I don't want to reheat anything that we.

[Trixie Mattel]

We don't talk about Drag Race very much.

[Katya Zamolodchikova]

Yeah, I kind of like that too.

[Rachel]

Yeah.

[Trixie Mattel]

Okay. Okay, well, bye. Bye.

[Rachel]

Bye, Sam.