Podcast Summary:

The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya
Episode: Your Fingers are Rivers of Intention with Trixie and Katya
Release Date: November 4, 2025

Overview

In this lively, hilariously unhinged episode, Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova riff on everything from learning to type as adults, Drag Race gossip, and nostalgia for county fairs to haunted hayrides and horror movie obsessions. Peppered with chaotic tangents, heartfelt moments, and sharp cultural observations, the duo explores the joy and absurdity in daily life—true to their signature style. The episode meanders through typing anxieties, rural Americana, dental woes, and queer pop culture, blending quick wit with real talk on vulnerability and evolution.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Learning to Type as an Adult

• Katya’s Typing Journey
  • Katya confesses to being a "hunt and peck" typist despite a career as a writer and drag queen. She's now earnestly learning proper touch typing using Typing Club, relishing every small victory.
  • Quote: "I have been learning an activity that is so basic and so embarrassing, I almost didn’t want to share it. Learning how to type correctly." (03:03)
  • Katya describes creating a sensual ritual for practice—lotioned-up, scantily clad, perched erect at her computer: “I lotion up. And then my body becomes slick and it’s semi sensual...” (06:26)
• Typing Techniques & Tech
  • Trixie shares tips: wrist posture, keyboard choice, and personal anecdotes about MSN Messenger accidentally teaching her to type quickly.
  • Katya is tempted by typewriters for their tactile experience but finds Typing Club’s clacking sound effects satisfying.

2. The Retro-Technology Tangent

• Peppermint and T9 Texting
  • The queens facetiously roast fellow queen Peppermint for using T9 predictive texting, calling it “butter churning” and “very 2002.”
  • Peppermint joins by phone to defend T9, citing the convenience for one-handed typing:
    • “It allows me to do one-handed typing… just holding my phone in one hand and typing with my thumb…” (09:35)
    • “If I have a lot to say, then I’ll use voice text, and that’s where it goes wrong sometimes.” (10:38)
  • They ruminate on changing digital habits, from keyboarding in sixth grade to voice-to-text and swipe texting ("I feel like it’s the devil’s work." – Katya, 14:26).

3. Generational Pop Culture & Inside Jokes

• Drag Race & Community Shoutouts
  • Accidental confusion with "Bold and the Beautiful" leads to imagined fan mail scenarios and classic drag queen banter.
  • Trixie relates running into people who vaguely recognize her local fame:
    • “They don’t know who I am, but they heard someone from [my hometown] was on Drag Race.” (34:43)
  • Moment of drag queen name puns: “It was the Madam LaQueers we met along the way.” (34:54)
• Movie References & Fashion Montages
  • Loving breakdown of “Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead” and 90s corporate fashion, especially “Ms. Sue Ellen Crandall on her way to become a corporate drone. The earrings, baby. The intricate hairdos, the updos, the power clashing jacket with the turtleneck...” (15:47)

4. Body, Beauty, and Technological Escapism

• Eye Color Surgery Rant
  • Both queens react with horror to the trend of eye color change surgeries, referencing “Hollywood Boulevard demonica lenses.”
  • Quote: “It needs to be investigated...Scully and Mulder, Columbo, get down here." (21:41)
  • Katya on drag contacts: “It just looks ghoulish and weird.” (22:03)
• Dentistry Angst
  • Katya contemplates sedation dentistry, dreams of dental appliances for drag, and advocates for standing up for yourself in the dentist's chair:
    • “You can lecture me but you can’t torture me at the same time.” (25:07)
    • “The old me would have stayed there, tears... That was like last year.” (25:32)

5. Midwestern Americana: Fairs, RVs, and Drive-Thrus

• Trixie’s Wisconsin Birthday
  • Trixie recounts staying in a massive up-north Wisconsin Airbnb for her birthday, visiting state fairs, seeing animal contests, and reminiscing about growing up poor—but rich in pet companionship.
  • Approachable tales of county fairs: “My dream was to go to the Marinette County Fair... Pig contests.” (30:35, 30:49)
• Queer Reflections on Returning Home
  • They consider the queer high school reunion phenomenon: “Some of them peaked in high school... and it’s always nice to go back and be like, yeah, I’m gay and I’m…” (33:17)
• RV Test Drives
  • Trixie dreams of motorhome life, test-driving Class A RVs—delighting in the size and safety features but deterred by price and storage:
    • “I was really scared to drive such a big vehicle…and then it was thrilling. I loved it.” (44:32)
  • Katya on RV culture: “These people are about to harvest you for organs for sure.” (44:26)
• Drive-Thru Culture & Midwest Chains
  • Obsessed with Culver’s runs: “Sometimes I was just stopping for a Diet Coke because I love a, you know, a nice ice, big Diet Coke.” (46:01)

6. Horror Films & Queer Nostalgia

• All-Time Favorite Horror Movies (49:59–53:00)
  • Rapid-fire top picks:
    • Trixie: The Shining, Scream, Nightmare on Elm Street
    • Katya: Nightmare on Elm Street, Candyman, Hellraiser, The Exorcist
  • In-depth praise for Hellraiser’s erotic horror:
    • “It’s super horny. Clive Barker is a very lusty gentleman.” – Trixie (51:20)
    • “Any time you’re moving in life and someone cuts their hand…it’s like an empty house you just bought and there’s blood on the floor. You have to move.” (52:24)
  • The Exorcist’s shock value endures:
    • “Still as shocking as it ever was. Lick me. Lick me…Great beach read, by the way.” – Katya (53:39)

7. Ghost, Grief, and Moving On

• Revisiting the film “Ghost”—mourning, pennies, and the ethics of spirit-induced windfalls.
  • “The real crime of that movie is that Sam Wheat didn’t let her keep even a million of that check.” – Katya (55:39)

8. Drag Race Recaps? Not So Fast

• The queens reflect on whether to become a “Drag Race recap podcast.” Trixie: “Our lives are too interesting.” (56:42)
• Katya adds: “I don’t like regular nachos, so I don’t want to reheat anything that we…” (56:45)

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• "I lotion up. And then my body becomes slick and it’s semi sensual. I wear very scantily clad undergarments. And then I perch erect at my computer… D and K in space. D and K. D and K."
  — Katya, describing her typing practice (06:26)

• "It allows me to do one-handed typing… just holding my phone in one hand and typing with my thumb.”
  — Peppermint on T9 texting (09:35)

• "It needs to be investigated. Scully and Mulder, Columbo, get down here.”
  — Trixie on eye color surgeries (21:41)

• "You can lecture me but you can’t torture me at the same time. You got to pick a lane."
  — Katya on dentistry (25:07)

• "Culver’s! Sometimes I was just stopping for a Diet Coke because I love a... big Diet Coke. And I felt like one of those cunts in the car eating Chicken nuggets, talking to TikTok."
  — Trixie on Midwest car culture (46:00)

• "It was the Madam LaQueers we met along the way."
  — Katya, drag queen wisdom (34:54)

• "Anytime you’re moving in life and someone cuts their hand… it’s like an empty house you just bought and there’s blood on the floor. You have to move."
  — Katya, horror film logic (52:24)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:03–09:00 | Katya’s typing journey & tech tangents
• 09:10–11:05 | Peppermint’s T9 texting interview
• 14:23–15:14 | Voice-to-text humor
• 21:11–23:34 | Eye color surgery rant
• 24:20–26:01 | Dental dread & standing up for yourself
• 28:22–34:32 | Trixie’s Wisconsin trip & county fair adventures
• 41:44–44:32 | Trixie’s RV test-driving adventure
• 46:00–47:00 | Culver’s and Midwestern drive-thru wisdom
• 49:59–53:34 | Horror movie roundtable
• 55:39–56:25 | Ghost, grief, and afterlife finance
• 56:25–56:54 | Drag Race recap debate

Tone & Style

True to “The Bald and the Beautiful,” the episode is chaotic, self-deprecating, and deeply queer, balancing playful absurdity with moments of real vulnerability. Conversation veers from high camp to earnest nostalgia, all fueled by the duo’s unique blend of cultural literacy and gleeful irreverence.

For listeners and non-listeners alike, this episode is a wild ride of midlife queer reflection, rural Americana kitsch, pop culture analysis, and body horror appreciation—with plenty of deadpan wisdom, all delivered with a full face and a cackling laugh.