Not Even Pete Hegseth Buying Trump's Iran War Lies!

Summary

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The Jimmy Dore Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Not Even Pete Hegseth Buying Trump’s Iran War Lies!
Date: March 11, 2026
Host: Jimmy Dore
Main Theme:
The episode fiercely critiques the U.S. and Israeli narrative surrounding the recent war against Iran — focusing particularly on the bombing of a girls' elementary school in southern Iran, the ensuing media spin (including Trump’s denial of responsibility), and how mainstream and alt-media figures (even Trump ally Pete Hegseth) can't deny U.S. culpability. Dore exposes the hypocrisy, propaganda, and underlying motives fueling the war, including oil politics, Israel’s strategic interests, and U.S. political theater.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Bombing of the Iranian Girls’ School ([01:20]–[05:54])

• Summary:
  Dore opens with outrage at the U.S./Israeli attack, emphasizing the deaths of around 175 girls (ages 7–12) in Minab, Iran. Dore and co-hosts lampoon Trump’s claim that Iran bombed its own school, highlighting the absurdity and lack of evidence.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “So what we did was a terror attack. One of the biggest terror attacks you could think of we did on Iran.” — Jimmy Dore [01:44]
  • “Based on what I’ve seen, that was done by Iran.” — Satirical Trump clip [02:20]
  • “Yeah, Trump doesn’t even live in the reality you live in.” — Co-host Kurt [03:44]
  • “Exclusive U.S. investigation points to likely U.S. responsibility…” — Dore, citing Reuters [05:54]

• Memorable Moment:
  Co-hosts mock the official response: “The only side that targets civilians is Iran,” despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary ([02:33]).

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2. U.S. and Israeli Narratives, Propaganda & Hypocrisy ([06:23]–[15:37])

• Summary:
  Dore calls out allies and media (Pete Hegseth, Mike Waltz) for not supporting Trump’s Iran narrative, noting even sycophants won’t echo Trump’s blatant lie. Waltz and others revert to stock arguments: ‘Iran uses human shields’—which Dore blasts as projection, citing U.S. military schools on bases and Israel's own military facilities under civilian structures.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Even Pete Hegseth wouldn’t back him up.” — Jimmy Dore, on Hegseth’s refusal to echo Trump [07:07]
  • “The only way Israel can be truly safe is if we pursue ethnic cleansing against the Palestinians and use the United States to start a war with Iran that already has no clear strategy, goals or end point.” — Satirical Bibi Netanyahu call-in [54:51]
  • “Every accusation that Israel makes about Iran is a confession.” — Jimmy Dore [17:52]

• Memorable Moments:

  • Dore points out: “Over 160 public schools located on US military installations”—countering the ‘human shields’ smear ([12:24]).
  • Dore reveals that Israel has Mossad HQ in a residential Tel Aviv neighborhood and a military command center under a hospital ([15:17]).

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3. Targeting Civilians, Shifting Blame, and Geopolitical Context ([18:08]–[24:41])

• Summary:
  Jimmy plays media clips (Bolton, Herzog) claiming Iran uniquely targets civilians. Dore rebuts by listing similar or worse U.S./Israeli actions and exposing attempts to justify civilian deaths with ‘accidental’ or ‘collateral damage’ logic.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Attacking civilian water infrastructure is a war crime under the Geneva Convention, full stop.” — Jimmy Dore [29:47]
  • “Every time they do this, they’re telling on themselves or the ballroom in the White House. Jimmy, every accusation that Israel makes about Iran is a confession.” — Co-host ([17:52])
  • “Imagine if Iran did that to the United States...” — Jimmy, flipping the script on American listeners ([22:43]-[23:53])

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4. Iranian-American Regime Change Advocates & Manufactured Consent ([25:06]–[29:02])

• Summary:
  Footage from an LA regime change rally shows exiled Iranians fervently supporting Trump/Netanyahu attacks—even at the cost of their former countrymen’s lives, parroting wildly inflated casualty figures. Dore laments U.S. expats clamoring for war they won’t fight.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “You see this all as worth it? … ‘100%’...” — Protester [26:00]
  • “We won’t have to actually do any of the fighting. … We’re a lot like Israelis.” — Dore satirizes expat logic ([27:21])
  • “Trump just bombed Iran’s freshwater desalination plants…” — Dore [29:02]

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5. War Crimes, Economic Motives, and Geopolitical Stakes ([29:02]–[39:49])

• Summary:
  Dore outlines a litany of U.S. strikes on civilian infrastructure, decries war crimes, and spotlights the unspoken motive: stabilizing global markets and keeping Gulf investments in the U.S. economy. Trump’s eagerness to ‘declare victory’ is driven by Wall Street anxiety, not battlefield conditions.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “That’s what he’s really doing [Protecting oil for China].” — Dore [39:13]
  • “That’s why Trump wants to declare victory and end this.” — Dore [39:28]

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6. Stalemate, Logistics, and False Flags ([31:45]–[42:35])

• Summary:
  Expert guests (Col. Douglas McGregor) and Dore discuss the military stalemate: U.S./Israeli missile inventories are strained; Iran, despite economic woes, is resilient. Dore predicts further false flags (historical examples: USS Liberty, recent Austin shooting) may be staged by Israel to escalate or prolong U.S. involvement.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “We had false expectations that Iran would fall apart in 48 to 72 hours.” — Col. McGregor [35:24]
  • “...I predict another false flag. That’s my prediction...” — Jimmy Dore [41:03]

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7. Israel’s Expansionist Agenda and Attempts to Widen the War ([42:35]–[49:04])

• Summary:
  Dore highlights statements from Israeli politicians about targeting Turkey, Qatar, and Saudi Arabia, pivoting from the ‘Iran threat’ to a broader regional war. He plays Niko House outlining how false accusations against Iran are being used to try to trigger NATO Article 5.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “Turkey is the new Iran.” — Former Israeli PM Naftali Bennett [43:00]
  • “Israel is literally revealing their plans in real time.” — Niko House [49:04]
  • “Israel is the cancer. Israel is the destabilizer of the Middle East...” — Dore [49:32]

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8. Satirical "Call-In" from Benjamin Netanyahu ([50:46]–[57:36])

• Summary:
  Mike McRae guest-stars as "Bibi Netanyahu", satirically boasting that all of Israel’s goals have finally been realized through U.S. action, including the disastrous war and regime change aspirations against Iran. The bit lampoons Israeli state logic, U.S. political class complicity, and the absurd economic, moral, and legal justifications provided for war.

• Notable Quotes:

  • “The only way Israel can be truly safe is if we pursue ethnic cleansing against the Palestinians and use the United States to start a war with Iran that already has no clear strategy, goals or end point.” — “Bibi Netanyahu” [54:51]
  • “So the only way Israel can be safe is to endanger the rest of the world.” — Dore [55:10]
  • “I now have everything I’ve ever striven for… and soon Christian apocalypse enthusiasts may also have everything they’ve ever wanted.” — "Bibi" [55:33]

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Concluding Thoughts & Warnings ([57:36]–End)

• Summary:
  Dore closes with a blend of cynicism and hope — openly wishing for a U.S. withdrawal, an end to war, and highlighting the devastating regional and global consequences if regime-change continues unchecked. He simultaneously warns listeners that establishment efforts to manufacture consent will persist, likely through more false flags or adjacent escalations.

• Memorable Moment:
  "Don’t freak out. Do NOT freak out. Freak out. Freak out..." — Dore closes in his signature performative, sardonic style ([58:31]).

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Key Segment Timestamps

• The School Bombing Outrage: [01:20]–[05:54]
• Media Spin, Trump/Pete Hegseth: [06:23]–[07:50]
• Projection of 'Human Shields'/Schools on Bases: [12:07]–[13:03]
• 'Mission Accomplished'—U.S. Narratives: [29:59]–[32:48]
• Trump's Oil Motives & Protecting China's Supply: [38:17]–[39:49]
• NATO, Israel's Regional Ambitions: [42:35]–[49:04]
• Satirical Bibi Netanyahu Call-In: [50:46]–[57:36]

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Standout Quotes

• “Every accusation that Israel makes about Iran is a confession.” — Jimmy Dore [17:52]
• “Exclusive U.S. investigation points to likely U.S. responsibility.” — Jimmy Dore [05:54]
• “Imagine if Iran did that to the United States…” — Jimmy Dore [22:43]
• “We needed to influence with money, money, money. We need everyone, or nearly everyone beholden to AIPAC, and we accomplished that.” — Satirical Bibi Netanyahu [53:27]
• “Israel is the cancer. Israel is the destabilizer of the Middle East.” — Jimmy Dore [49:32]

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Tone & Style

• Combative, sardonic, irreverent — heavy use of satire and dark humor.
• Persistent criticism of U.S./Israeli militarism, media collusion, and elite corruption.
• Passionately empathetic to civilian victims; pointed, unfiltered language.
• Blunt skepticism of official narratives and war propaganda.

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Takeaways for Non-Listeners

• The episode symbolically and literally eviscerates the official narrative about the Iran war, especially the school bombing, exposing the propagandistic tactics used to justify and escalate U.S. militarism.
• Dore repeatedly challenges the moral, legal, and strategic justifications for the war, while documenting a cycle of projection, hypocrisy, and unaccountable power.
• The show balances direct factual critique with gallows humor, making it not only informative but sharply satirical and emotionally resonant.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Every style, every home.

[A]

Come see me in San Antonio, Albuquerque, Houston, Dallas, Salt Lake City. We'll be at the Comedy Store in Los Angeles in April and then Las Vegas and then Tulsa and then Oklahoma city. Go to jimmy dore.com for a link for tickets because that's where you're going to find the most affordable tickets. Anywhere else charges establishment media sucks.

[B]

August Light and so good luck. We can't afford why he's commenting this

[A]

Watch and see as his jack golf the medium speeds and jumps the medium and hits a. So it turns out you know how we bombed the United States on the first day of the war? The illegal offense, war of aggression by the United States and Israel on a sovereign country that wasn't attacking anybody.

[B]

It's a terror attack is what it was.

[A]

So what we did was a terror attack. One of the biggest terror attack you could think of we did on Iran. And we bombed a children's school, girls school full of girls from 7 to 12 years old. We killed around 180 people in there. At least 160 of them were girls.

[B]

Oh, Israel could have used those girls in a trafficking thing.

[A]

So the reporter asked Donald Trump, did the US bomb an elementary school and kill 175 people? Here's what he says.

[B]

Mr. President, did the United States bomb a girl's elementary school in southern Iran

[A]

on the first day of the war and kill 175 people? Based on what I've seen, that was done by Iran. Is that true? Mr. Hickset, it was Iran who did that. That we're certainly investigating.

[B]

But the only, the only side that

[A]

targets civilians is Iran. The only side after we just saw Gaza Completely flattened. Not. Not a building left standing. They bombed every hospital in. In Gaza. Bombed every hospital. They're killing Christians in the West Bank. What's that, Kurt?

[B]

Just. Iran kills their own schoolgirls?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's. I wonder who else does false flags that I've ever heard of. Now, let me think. If I. It's hard to piece together, but I think it'll come to me. Jimmy.

[A]

So, anyway, that's just a funny thing they say. They like to say that the only one that targets civilians is Iran. What are you talking about?

[B]

Are you still investigating? Even though you know that we killed.

[A]

Right. Even though you know that we killed a million people in Iraq. That was all just whoopsies. They were all whoopsies. Look at all the people they just slaughtered. They're bombing refugee camps. People in tents. Israel was using our money and our weapons to bomb them. People in tents. Legit refugee tents. Because you already flattened their homes and apartment buildings, so they had to go to refugee camps and be in tents, and then you bomb them in their tents.

[B]

By the way, all these assholes will admit that Israel will do absolutely anything it thinks it has to to survive. Meaning take everybody's shit. So now that you've admitted that, why wouldn't they do that? Why wouldn't they traffic your kids? Morons. Trump doesn't even live in the reality you live in.

[A]

I think it was done by Iran. No, he just said that we think it was hit by Iran. That they blew up their own girls

[B]

school, that, you orange idiot Lutnik had a swinging thing and then told me to get sleepy and that it was Iran did it.

[A]

Very inaccurate, as you know, with their munitions. So Iran is very inaccurate with their musicians. That's why they hit their own school. That's why.

[B]

And also all of our bases, they hit one of their own schools.

[A]

One of their own schools.

[B]

Every U.S. base in the area.

[A]

And they nailed us with wooden drones. Yeah, because they hit. They. Well, they also hit BB's house.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

That's how inaccurate they are. They hit BB's house and that. So he was. Yeah, and they missed him, so it must be inaccurate. No, he. I like how he says only one side targets civilians.

[B]

Have you forgotten 911, sir?

[A]

Well, it's not commonly known that. That he's got a brain condition, Hegseth, where he mixes up all the places that start with the letter I. Yeah, that's true. He thinks it's Iran instead of Israel.

[B]

Yeah, I can concur that diagnosis. Yeah.

[A]

No accuracy whatsoever. It was done By Iran. So that's what Trump's trying to tell us, that it was done by Iran. Blew up their own school. Hey. New video footage shows a U.S. tomahawk missile hitting an IRGC facility in Manab, Iran. That's where that school was showing for the first time that the United States struck the area. The footage also shows smoke already rising from the vicinity of the girls school where 175 people were reportedly killed. So there it is. Did you see it? Did you see the rocket boom? That's a Tomahawk missile.

[B]

Oh, they're so inaccurate. Iran. Iran's inaccurate.

[A]

Yeah. Exclusive U.S. investigation points to likely U.S. responsibility. Oh, Reuters saying it in the Iran school strike.

[B]

OK, so that means definitely the U.S. if Reuters says, if Reuters is allowed

[A]

to say that, then it definitely did.

[B]

But people that are going to be for this moron thing are going to go, well, it wasn't proven. I need jury evidence to believe America could kill some kids.

[A]

Just yet. Glenn Greenwald says just yesterday Trump claimed to Americans that he believed it was Iran that blew up their own elementary school full of young girls. A claim that not even the supreme sycophant, Pete Hegseth, was willing to embrace when Trump urged him to do so. Let's. I want to show you that again. Let me show you this again, Pete. He does this cut off. Does this cut off, Mr. President, did the United States bomb a girl's elementary school in southern Iran on the first

[B]

day of the war, kill 175 people?

[A]

Based on what I've seen, that was done by Iran. Is that true, Mr. Hep?

[B]

It was Iran who did that.

[A]

We're certainly investigated. He said, well, we'll certainly investigate. So even he wouldn't back up Trump is what Glenn Greenwald's saying. Even Pete Hegg said, well, we're certainly investigating. I'm not going to say that stupid shit because that's stupid.

[B]

We just want another hearing. Like the Venezuela thing where they murdered those fishermen. Yeah, the guy in the back, the other guy was nodding as Trump said the right thing.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

That guy's more important than both Trump

[A]

and, oh, I wonder, I wonder who that guy is. That was done by Iran.

[B]

Watch.

[A]

Is that true? Yeah. Good boy.

[B]

Good goy scout.

[A]

Good boy scout. Yes. So that's what he's talking about. He said, so when Trump says that it was Iran would build up their own girls school. Even Pete Hegseth wouldn't back him up.

[B]

And yeah, he's already been in trouble.

[A]

So here is Mike Waltz, career long vehicle for Israel. So he is a congressman who I think he's on like the. Could you look up what committee he's on? I think he might be on the important. Maybe a Foreign Relations Committee or the Armed Services Committee. So Mike Waltz, that's this guy, Mike Waltz, and he's here. He's going to do this is what Israel does. When they would bomb a hospital or a school or a church or anywhere, or a UN Refugee center or a. Or a refugee camp, they would say that, oh, well, Hamas has their weapons hidden there. Remember that? All those lies they said about them having weapons in the hospital.

[B]

It's okay to kill a civilian if there's weapons being hidden behind them.

[A]

Here we go. More than 170 people, including many children, were killed in a strike on a school in southern Iran last weekend. On Saturday, President Trump said he thinks Iran was behind the bombing. But NBC News and others are reporting that the military's press preliminary finding is that it's increasingly likely that a US Munition was responsible. Was Iran or the United States responsible? And will the US Provide evidence to the American people? Well, here's a couple of things here. One, let's let the investigation play out. Number two, again, as a veteran and special operator, we never deliberately attack civilians. If civilians were injured, it's always by accident, contrast that. I mean, this is really rich coming from the Iranians, who they and their proxies hide caches of weapons and military apparatus and hospitals and schools. We know they do that all over the world. Boy, just imagine the balls of people to put weapons in their own country before you attack them. Isn't that something?

[B]

Oh, you forced us. Well, remember Golda Meir? We can forgive them for forcing us to kill them, but we can never forgive them for forcing us to kill their children.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, you made us do it.

[A]

So, Mike, by the way, Mike Waltz used to be. He was Trump's national security adviser. I'm pretty sure he was the one who got caught using a special app to communicate with people in Israel. So he was. It was obvious that he was an op working for Israel inside Trump's campaign cabinet.

[B]

That's the guy.

[A]

So he fired him and he appointed him to be the UN ambassador. So he didn't really get rid of him because he can't because he works for Israel and Israel runs Donald Trump. Yes.

[B]

President Trump is participating.

[A]

So that's who that guy was. Telemessage. He was using a signal. Chat link. Yeah. So that's what's going on.

[B]

If you don't Think anybody telling you to forget about Epstein as your mortal enemy, then you are the dumbest cow that ever lived. That's all I could say. Anybody thinks you can move on from the Epstein thing and get into this is an enemy that hates you.

[A]

So if you know these people having a problem with anybody having weapons in their own country while you are invading isn't winning the public support that it used to just put. Put it that way certainly doesn't justify taking out everybody in the hospital who had nothing to do with it. But we are dealing with sociopathic mental children and that's who this guy is. So these are social. These are.

[B]

Yeah. The same people who push wokeness for the last 12 years are now coming in really with no wokeness whatsoever. It's very strange. And they don't understand that they maybe shot themselves in the foot pushing that one slop and coming in with nugoy slop.

[A]

So here's what. So this whole idea that, well, it was okay that we blew up their school because their school. There were weapons. They were storing weapons near this school. So in Tehran, Tehran is becoming like Gaza or Beirut. Security forces like Basij and the Revolutionary Guards are hiding in hospitals, mosques, burial sites and schools while conducting a war routine. Also, the school was on a military base. By design. Iranian mullahs use innocent children as shields so they can conduct terrorists. So the same thing they said when they were slaughtering and targeting children in Gaza, which we know for a fact that they did. They're saying now in Iran, why is

[B]

the Presidio in America? They trafficked in graped children and the presidio in the 90s. So I shut up.

[A]

Why does nobody question why Iran had a school next to a military base? The answer, Shia Islam martyrs. Human shields. It's intentional. Well, guess what?

[B]

Even use goy shields.

[A]

Guess what? There are over 160 public schools located on US military installations providing K through 12 education for military connected children. These schools are often operated by local education agencies or the Department of defense education activity. 160 public schools are located on US military bases.

[B]

Human shields. I would.

[A]

So so you would so. So they. So then Iran could blow up those kids and say, oh no, no, no.

[B]

We were hey, does the Ayatollah ever eat their kids? I don't think that happens though. Right. So nobody's accused them of that.

[A]

That whole idea of they're using human shields, what is that? That's human shielding right here. Spoken like a complete sociopath. Hegseth is here. He is BBC. Can you Give us an update on what the administration knows, what you know now about the reported strike on a girls school in southern Iran on Saturday.

[C]

All I know, all I can say

[A]

is that we're investigating that. We, of course, never target civilian targets, but never. We're taking a look at investigating that. Yeah, we never.

[B]

Well, his hair is a real iron dome, isn't it, Jimmy?

[A]

It really is. Part of the strategy of this jihadist movement is to base its infrastructure in terror, let's say missiles, long range missiles in civilian surroundings. This is Israel President Isaac Herzog. This is what he told CNN when asked about the strike on a girls elementary school in southern Iran that killed 165 people, most of them girls aged 7 to 12. So Geo confirmed. An OSINT group that verifies footage through geolocation says the destroyed school in Minab was located near an IRGC naval base that was also struck in the same wave of airstrikes. The group says there's no evidence that the explosion was caused by a failed Iranian missile launch and that the more plausible explanation based on available evidence is that the school was hit during the broader strikes on the area. So. Right, so here, let's hear him say at least 148 people were apparently killed in a strike on a girls school in Iran. That's according to local officials. CNN has not independently verified those numbers. Do you know what happened there? No, we don't know and we are trying to verify it and we don't have any facts to that effect. And you know, we don't shy away from checking anything. But we also have to understand that part of the strategy of this jihadist movement is to base its infrastructure of terror, let's say missiles, long range missiles in civilian surroundings. So I don't know, and believe me, I care for every citizen who lost his or her life. But what we have to do right now is offer a better future for millions and millions of Iranians and hundreds of millions of. Yeah, because they really care about the Iranian people. And so he's saying is that it's their fault for putting military missiles around this school. Well, guess what? Israel's Mossad has their headquarters in a residential neighborhood in Tel Aviv. So the exact thing that they're accusing Iran of doing, we know for a fact that Israel does.

[B]

Plus Israel has no problem killing civilian Jews to achieve their aims at any time that they want way more than Iran.

[A]

So when they say that Iran is using human shields, they're telling on themselves because Israel is the one who does that. Here. Let's Listen to this. The U.S. intel view that among the targets were Israeli airfields, but also, and this is crucial, the headquarters of Mossad, the, the international intelligence service of Israel, which is inside Tel Aviv. It's in the northern part of Tel Aviv. But so that's like having the Mossad headquarters in Manhattan, right? That's like having the, so they're, you're doing the human shield thing, okay? Just to let you know, that's even the CNN guy's like, well, they got, they got in the city, it's in a densely populated area. Of course the concern is if you're firing, even, even though Iran might consider that a military target. It is in a. They might consider that a military target. Ok, densely populated city with civilians around it. So that makes Iran bad. But here's Israel legit has a military base they put under a hospital. So Israel has reportedly established a new underground military command center beneath a hospital in Tel Aviv. According to open source reports, this fortified facility includes a network of tunnels that link it to Israeli military bases, allowing operations to continue during missile strikes or aerial bombardment. You want to see it? Here it is. There you go. There you go. Underneath the hospital in Tel Aviv. So every time they do this, they're telling on themselves or the ballroom in the White House. Jimmy, every accusation that Israel makes about Iran is a confession.

[B]

Can I pitch this show to you? It's called SWAT Team. It's about Israeli swat and it starts with a harrowing hostage situation and the heroes from SWAT Team burst in and kill all the hostages and the, and the people holding them because they were using human shields.

[A]

Here's Bolton talking about targeting civilians are about now they're targeting hotels, other areas that are not military targets. I mean, what does that say to you about what Iran is doing right now? Iran did target some hotels and I'm going to tell you why they did that in a second. She'll never tell you why and he'll never tell you why. I will tell you right after he answers now is the president is demanding unconditional surrender. Well, they're targeting civilians, which is completely contrary to whatever law of war there is that that violates it. That's not something obviously we do or that Israel's doing. And I think again, this is evidence of the kind of regime we're dealing with. This is not a regime that you can find some nice ayatollah who has a bigger smile than the Ayatollah Khamini, now deceased, and we can deal with him. This is why regime change has to be the outcome here I say leave the poor man alone. Geppetto just wants a real little boy.

[B]

That's all he wanted. Jimmy, that's such a crime.

[A]

So the reason why they were targeting the hotels was because the United States military got their, all their soldiers out of the bases and put them in hotels because they knew this was coming and they knew they couldn't defend their military bases in the Gulf coast, so they put them in hotels. In the lead up to the operation, which has been in the works for weeks, US planners correctly understood that our bases in the region are indefensible. They decided to evacuate them. But there are tens of thousands of American service members in the Middle East. What do you do? What do you do with them? Well, for those wondering why Iran is striking hotels in the Gulf, the US moved the soldiers from the Gulf bases into nearby hotels and are using the Gulf civilian population as human shields.

[B]

Yeah, Iran is more moral than our own Pentagon. I want to state that very clearly that I believe it 100% Iran, the nation of Iran, because they've only been using their paper planes. If I was Iran, I would have shot all my stuff right in a hurry on top of America and Israel immediately right on their hotels.

[A]

I like what he says here is that in other words, Christian US troops have been sent to the Middle east to die for Israel and now Muslim Gulf Arabs are now being made to die for Israel.

[B]

That is kind of funny. You got to give it to. I'd say they're the only Jews and all funny because Russell said that. But that is kind of funny here,

[A]

here is, here are the girls that we killed in that, in that school. Donald Trump and Pete Hegseth ordered the strike that murdered every one of these girls from the school in Minab, Iran and they did it for Israel. We don't even need the Epstein files to know we're led by child slaughtering demons.

[B]

This is my point I make constantly, Jimmy. Madeleine Albright. Was it worth it to starve half a million Iraqi children? I think so. So that's how you know. Yeah, Hillary does eat kids faces. If they kill half a million, they wouldn't kill one kid on the weekend to get hyped up to kill half a million.

[A]

So you could turn this down. Here they are. There's, there's the little girls we killed, ages 7 to 12. There they are. They all got killed. We blew them up. We blew them up. These are the girls they killed. Wow, look at those disciplined military ranks of these vicious hate filled terrorists, huh? With Their snack platters all ready to strike. So these are the kids that they killed. Wow. It's. It's kind of. It's not kind of gross. It's kind of like overwhelming gross. Okay, so you get it. That's who they killed Iran, injured Jared Kushner and Steve. Oh. So imagine if what we did to Iran. Imagine if Iran did that to the United States. And this is how. This is how it would read in the newspaper. You ready for this, Kurt? Iran lured Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff to peace talks and then murdered them. Because that's what we did.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Because that's what we did to Iranians

[B]

many times, over and over again.

[A]

Yeah, Madeline all probably would say that. I think it's the right thing to do. Yeah.

[B]

They operate in good faith every time. The Iranians, not us.

[A]

So. So imagine if Iran did that. They lured Jared Kushner and Pete and Steve Witkoff into peace talks and then murdered him. Because that's what we did. Also, Iran bombed an elementary school in Texas, murdering 160 schoolgirls. Imagine if they did that. Iran was waging a war of annihilation against New York City, whose residents will suffer from cancerous ailments for decades because the US. Because the US Bombed an oil refinery in New York City, turning New York City skyline into acid oil rain. That's happening right now in Tehran.

[B]

Oh, our leaders did that on purpose in New York already to all of us. They have an oil spill that's buried under Greenpoint. It's been there for years, giving people cancer.

[A]

How about Iran murdered Donald Trump? Imagine if that was a headline.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How about Iran murders 1300Americans in the first week of war of aggression waged on the United States. Imagine if that was a headline. Imagine this is how the news looks like if you're from Iran.

[B]

Well, except it says baby eating child grapists invade Iran. Don't forget that every. All of our enemies, they all have the greatest thing to scare their people with, which is that our leaders, and they are, are canny pedos.

[A]

Even Laura Ingram says re upping what I said last week, administration must wrap up its investigation and address heads on, head on, horrible unintended tragedy of this war.

[B]

It's intended.

[A]

I think it's intended.

[B]

Shut up. Stop saying it's an accident. All the people that go, oh, there's no Michael printing quote you found is so great. Because these people really do think once you get to the top of power, no one's in charge. It's just the. The winds, the Winds of the world whipping around. There's nobody doing it.

[A]

Here is. So there are Iranians that fled Iran that are for United States bombing their

[B]

home country because they don't live there.

[A]

Because they don't live there anymore. And they're probably being paid to say crazy stuff like this.

[B]

Maybe they believe it, but they don't know shit because they're not from there. All I know is if I start getting bombed here, even though cannibal pedos run the country, I wouldn't be that grateful if I got blown up by people trying to liberate me.

[A]

So they had a regime change rally in Los Angeles where protesters lavish praise on Trump and Netanyahu and demanded boots on the grain. And here is the gray zone reporter. He's on. He's on it. And here, let's watch. There was also the 150 school girls that were killed. I mean, ultimately, you see this as worth it, like 100%. There was that school in Iran that was bombed. 150 dead. But you see this all as worth it. I mean, you think we should go to the end? Yes, yes, it's worth it. And that's why we are here. We are gonna protest. Even if it was not an Islamic regime missile, it was worth it. Very, very worth it. So you are accusing the IRGC of genocide. Yeah, they killed around 32,500 people. It has been like, two months that we lost, like, over 50,000 people got killed in January. In two days, they massacred people. 90,000 people. So they just make up numbers. You see what they're doing? They're just making up numbers, saying that Iran was massacring their own people. What was really happening was that the Mossad and the CIA were giving arms and guns to people and planting people inside those protests, and they were slaughtering cops. And so then the cops had to start firing back at them because the Mossad and the CIA were the ones who were slaughtering cops.

[B]

Ok, just so remember, remember Tiananmen Square, the other fake thing that happened that was an NGO pushing that, and they were trying to get China to crack down. And nobody in America knows the real story of that. And Jackson Hinkle had to tell me. And I had to take it from that guy with his hairline. I had to listen to that. And he was right.

[A]

90,000 people. And some people are still in the prison. And some people, they take out their eyes and it's in two days. You would support Donald Trump, for example, sending troops or sending more airstrikes to Iran. Yeah, whatever. Trump is doing it, is helping us, of course. Hundred percent. There was also a report today that

[B]

he was considering sending troops to Iran.

[A]

And you would support that? Yes, I would support that, yes. Because I believe he's doing the right thing. Donald Trump has been looking at more options, airstrikes, but also sending troops to Iran. Would you guys be supporting that? Yes. Yes, because we won't have to actually go do any of the fighting. It'll be someone else. We're in that way. We're a lot like Israelis.

[B]

This is why I don't like the rich immigrants getting preferential treatment. Because, you know, the poor ones, ok, they lower the postmates jobs, but these ones come over here and want you to go die freeing their homeland that they don't give that much of a shit about because the country may get murdered by us.

[A]

Well, he's considering sending troops in as well. Is that something you'd support? Actually, that's. That's what we want. Yeah. And I also see a lot of Israeli flags here. I mean, this is also to protect Israel from Iran as well. Yes, exactly, exactly. Thank you to President Trump and Netanyahu for standing with people. If you had Donald Trump's ear right now, you weren't in the Oval Office private room, what would you tell him to do? Please, please finish the job. Just finish it. Whatever it takes. Honestly, I haven't been back to my country over 20 years. I'm not planning to go back. This is my country now. America is my country. And I know this is the best for Americans and for Iranians in Iran. You're not planning on going back? No. And thank you, President Trump. You are my brother, you are my father, you are everything for myself, for my country, for my people. And thank you, Bibi Netanyahu, for supporting Persian people. And thank you, the soldier they killed in this war and the six people, American people. And thank you, and thank you. I want to say thank you to their family for letting them from having them die.

[B]

Thank you for supporting Persian Paypal. I believe she was saying, wow, Persian Paypal. Those are all Zionist Jews that are Persian. That's what I bet.

[A]

So just to keep. Just to let you know, Trump just bombed Iran's freshwater desalination plants and he took credit for it. So that means 30 villages now have no clean water. Not a military base, not a weapons depot. It wasn't a missile launcher. It was just their water supply that they bombed.

[B]

I'm sure they'll turn against their own country and throw in with the pedophile. Cannibal country called America.

[A]

Then an elementary school school, a boys school, a civilian airport, oil depots, and now the fresh water supply for 30 villages, the White House official said. It said the goal is to seize all the oil. Hegseth said the only ones that need to be worried are Iranians that think they're going to live. Attacking civilian water infrastructure is a war crime under the Geneva Convention, full stop.

[B]

Well, so is genocide, Jimmy, but who's counting? Nobody. There are no rules. We make the rules. That's right. Until I guess wooden drones make us stop making the rules.

[A]

Hey, you know, here's another great way you can help support the show is you become a premium member. We give you a couple of hours of premium bonus content every week and it's a great way to help support the show. You can do it by going to jimmy dork.com clicking on join premium. It's the most affordable premium program in the business and it's a great way to help put your thumb back in the eye of the bastards. Thanks for everybody who was already a premium member. And if you haven't, you're missing out. We give you lots of bonus content. Thanks for your support. Trump says, I think the Iran war is pretty much complete.

[B]

Did he say that?

[A]

He said that Bibi said he could.

[B]

Ok.

[A]

So that's. So that tells me first of all, you know my rule. You have to say it from the cockpit of a fighter jet on an aircraft carrier with the Mission Accomplished banner behind you or it didn't happen. Yes, he's doing his Mission accomplished. It is. So Trump is trying to do Mission accomplished right now because they know they are getting their ass kicked because Iran is flying $30,000 drones and we're shooting million dollar missiles at them. So for every $30,000 drone, we got to shoot at least five or ten million dollar missiles at them.

[B]

Oh, they're more. It's like five to ten border walls worth of missiles.

[A]

Yeah, that's how much we spent. And they wiped out all of our military bases in the Gulf states pretty much.

[B]

They told Trump in Max article that the Ayatollah is trying to assassinate him. So think of that. Think of that lame control. So with that mission accomplished. Right. And Trump ain't going to tell you it's just about him, is he?

[A]

So that's what they're trying to do here. This is what Trump is trying to do. He's trying to do a mission accomplished. That's what he's trying to do. So again, just in, in a phone interview with CBS News President Trump stated that the US War with Iran is nearing its end. Let's listen. I'll be watching. The president's going to hold a news conference just a short time from now. It's going to get started at 5:30 from Doral, Florida this evening. In the meantime he has done some phone interviews with several outlets, most recently talking to CBS News Washington White House reporter I should say. And in that interview with Weijiajiang, he said I think the war is very complete, pretty much. They have no navy, no communications, they've got no air force. He added that the US Is quote, very far ahead of the initial four to five week estimated timeframe. So by the way, I know for a fact that they think it's going to go on for 100 more days.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they think it's going to go on. They think the war is going to go on for at least 100 more days.

[B]

Now do you think Greta Clone Sustern there thinks that replacement younger Greta Van Sustern where the angular they got a cold storage Greta Van Susten knockoff clones ready to go.

[A]

Trump suggests US could end the war soon. This is BBC as the United Arab Emirates and Turkey intercept more missiles with what their faces. So US President Donald Trump has suggested US Operations against Iran could end suit. I think the war is very much complete, pretty much. He tells CBS News and BBC that the US Is ahead of schedule because

[B]

they killed the guy he thought was trying to kill him. So now he's yep.

[A]

Trump's comments. So according to what Kurt said, he just saw in gray zone that they had convinced Trump that Iran was trying to assassinate him. And so now he feels like oh I got him.

[B]

It's like a Chalabi guy they found to tell him that I can't remember the name in there but go on a Gray Zone article. It's pretty interesting.

[A]

Trump's comments suggest he may be ready to declare victory but not clear what that would mean. Turkey, UA and Cotter all say they have intercepted Iranian missiles while Israel says it has detected more attacks. Let's see. Also the UK Defense oh say so they're basically saying that they're hitting more missiles that are coming out of Iran. You know the missiles made by a toy shop somewhere in Tehran. Proud moment.

[B]

Have you seen the new missiles they have?

[A]

Colonel Douglas McGregor. Here's what he had to say. I spoke to a source inside our own government who was concerned prior to the attack that an attack could strengthen the hand of some of Iran's hardliners in the Regime. What do you know about some of the rising personalities here? And do you think the dynamics that are playing out are likely to result in a more amenable government or a government that's more dug in?

[B]

I think this country is going to stay the course.

[A]

I think we had false expectations that Iran would fall apart in 48 to 72 hours.

[B]

We imputed too much to what we

[A]

thought was some major upheaval in the country when it wasn't. When there were protests, there were lots of people miserable and unhappy because of the economy, thanks in large part to

[B]

our sanctions, but also a great deal

[A]

of mismanagement by the government. But the population at large was not interested in overthrowing the government. They're not going to overthrow it now.

[B]

They're going to stay the course. And the thing is that right now,

[A]

I'm beginning to think more and more

[B]

that logistics will decide the outcome.

[A]

We're already running out of missiles in places like UAE and Qatar. The Navy has fired very, very few standard missiles or Sea Sparrows, and I

[B]

get the impression our inventory is low.

[A]

The Israelis have shot a lot of missiles, and I don't think they can keep this up indefinitely. And we can't produce enough to keep up. So it may be that ultimately logistics decides the real outcome, because I don't

[B]

think there's any danger of the Iranians

[A]

running out of missiles. So you know how we just found out that about 3/4 of our leaders are accountable? PDF files?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the closest thing we had to a revolution was one black guy yelling at an Atlanta airport about it. Remember that?

[B]

Yeah. You see him?

[A]

Well, why would Iran overthrow their government for way less than that?

[B]

They cover up the women. Oh, our leaders are cannibals that grape the kids here.

[A]

All of our enemies have to do is to tell their people that we eat babies and they'll get united real fast.

[B]

And they are.

[A]

And they are.

[B]

That's what Russia says to their people. That's what Iran. Every dictator, that's a bad guy. You know what they say, their people. America eats babies. It's in the Epstein files.

[A]

And who's the other guy who said, stay the course? Yeah, that was George Bush Senior. And that was our next major loss after Vietnam.

[B]

Well, I mean, ours. He did pretty good from it. It was fine for him.

[A]

Okay, so there you go. Trump. Trump's gonna. Trump's declaring the war is over. He's gonna declare victory. I hope he does, actually. I hope he does declare victory, and then this is over. And then we could go back to having the Strait of Hormuz open and we could have stability in the Middle east, because doing a regime change in Iran and turning Iran into a civil war, which is what they're actually trying to do, will destabilize the region and forever. There will be a problem with the Strait of Hormuz, and it's going to be bad for the world economy. Did you know that 3/4 of the oil that goes through the Strait of Hormuz goes to Asia? 50% of it goes to China.

[B]

So we're going to allow that to happen.

[A]

And so now Trump. So now Trump is offering US Warships to chaperone oil tankers going through the Strait of Hormuz so they could bring oil to China.

[B]

Oh, thank God. I was afraid.

[A]

Think about that. So we are. We just dropped that video today about how Trump seems to be on purpose trying to get Iran to attack a US Navy ship and kill a bunch of sailors so that he could use that for more war. Because he's now said that the United States Navy will chaperone oil tankers through the Strait of Hormuz because they can't get insurance. So the United States is now going to take on that responsibility.

[B]

Oh, that's how. You know.

[A]

So that we can. So that we can bring oil to China. Think about that. Trump is now protecting the oil flow to China. Think about that.

[B]

De Jury.

[A]

That's what he's really doing.

[B]

Well, the insurance thing is how you know who's winning, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The insurance rates are too high, so now we have to cover how much we drove out the insurance.

[A]

Yeah. So we.

[B]

To help China because of our tariff bullshit.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yes. Because if they are not allowed to sell oil to China, then the Gulf states don't have money to invest in our stock market. And when they don't invest in our stock market, our stock market crashes and our economy crashes. That's what's on the table right now. And I think that's why Trump wants to declare victory and end this.

[B]

It's a delicate ecosystem, Jimmy.

[A]

Yeah, here's. That's. It is. You're actually right, Kurt.

[B]

Everything affects investor confidence.

[A]

Right. So this all comes back to the stock market here in the United States. And I think that is why Donald Trump wants to declare. We'll see. We'll see what happens. I hope he does. I hope he ends this. That would be the best outcome right now, would be to Trump declare a victory and leave.

[B]

I bet they need to come up with another false flag or something because now with Max's thing, he just found that means Trump is already out because it concerns him. So they got to have another reason to force his hand. Right. So Ben Shapiro is going to have to grow his eyebrows twice the size.

[A]

Twice the size. I'm telling you what's going to happen if Trump is serious about this, and I don't know if he is, but if he is, I'm going to guess 100% that Israel will do a false flag on America. So either here in the United States or somewhere else. And they've done it before. The USS Liberty.

[B]

Bondi Beach.

[A]

Bondi Beach. Damn.

[B]

Bondi Beach.

[A]

That's right. So.

[B]

Oh, the one here in Austin that everybody already forgot about.

[A]

Oh my God, they already forgot about. So they did a false flag in Austin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And guess what? Did you know the guy who was doing the shooting in Austin, Kirk, did you know this that they found out that there was Google searches from Camp Huachuca on that guy's name before he did the shooting?

[B]

Did you know say I didn't know the I saw the Fort Hawk to apart but he had it's a Senegalese man with Property of Allah written on his sweatshirt. Which ain't no black Muslims joined to be property.

[A]

Right on purpose.

[B]

Secondly, there's no Shia Black Muslim. What the fuck are you thinking? And he had the Iranian flag they found. So the cops here wisely said it's possibly a terrorist attack, but they didn't say it is because even an imbecile could see the level of false flag of that attack.

[A]

So I, so I. So there already was a false flag here. Didn't take nobody talks about it.

[B]

They've already forgotten.

[A]

They've already forgotten about it happened. It just happened. So we'll see what goes. I predict another false flag. That's my prediction probably through a 4 if Trump really is if he's serious about declaring victory and ending the war.

[B]

But Trump watches some balls and blow up BB's jet.

[A]

That's the fuck that would be. That would have some real balls. And he could blame it on Iran

[B]

and say Iran did it.

[A]

Say Iran did it.

[B]

We can't go to war with him

[A]

though, because we really missed say Turkey did it say Iran did it say Turkey did it Just do something that

[B]

benefits us for once.

[A]

So do you remember how we told this is a former Prime Minister Naftali Bennett of Israel and I think I showed you this before. I'll show it to you again. He the Greater Israel Project involves Israel going into Saudi Arabia going into Iraq going into Egypt and going into Turkey. They're out and going into Syria. So they've already taken a third of Syria. Israel. We already did Iraq for them and now they want to do Turks or they've already bombed Saudi Arabia. Israel did. They already tried to bomb Qatar. Israel did. And now here's the former Prime Minister telling you that they want to bomb Turkey. Listen, a new Turkish threat is emerging. I want to be very clear. Turkey and Qatar have gained influence in Syria, are seeking influence elsewhere and everywhere throughout the region. And from here, I warn Turkey is the new Iran. So he said this just a few weeks ago. Erdogan is sophisticated, dangerous, and he seeks to encircle Israel. And while some senior. I thought that was Iraq, then I thought that was Libya. I thought that was Assad, I thought that was Iran. Now it's Turkey. They're seeking to encircle everybody.

[B]

It sounded like strong applause for his.

[A]

It was not strong applause. It was like his wife going. For Israelis. We're on Qatar's payroll. Qatar and Turkey are nourishing the Islamic Brotherhood monster that is growing and eventually might become as dangerous as the one created by Iran. Turkey and Qatar are gaining influence not only in Syria, but also in Gaza through the front door. And everyone in trying to create a new choke ring, Turkey is trying to flip Saudi Arabia against us and establish a hostile Sunni access with nuclear Pakistan. So that shows you how crazy Israel is. They want to attack everybody. They want to attack Saudi Arabia, they want to attack Qatar, they want to attack Turkey. They want to. They've already attacked Syria, Libya.

[B]

Iran wants to do it. They don't want to do it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They want us to.

[A]

So it turns out. So this has already come true. So Israel has attacked Turkey and here's our friend Niko House to tell us about it.

[C]

If it wasn't obvious that Israel is trying to get NATO powers involved in this war against Iran before, it should be now. A ballistic missile was launched at Turkey out of nowhere and NATO shot it down. And of course, the blame was immediately put on Iran once again. Now, I'm sure there's a lot of proof to validate that claim, because if you're going to claim that Iran is firing at one of its regional allies, I hope you got some evidence supported. Yeah, there actually isn't any evidence. In fact, the only materials that have been shown publicly is debris, which Turkey says comes from the interceptor missile from the NATO systems. In other words, there's no proof whatsoever that Iran launches attack. And yet the world is once again pretending as if it did. And of course, once again, Iran acknowledging, yeah, we've done a lot of damage to a lot of US allies, but this was not us once again. Now the first question we have to ask is who would stand the most to gain by the world jumping to conclusions that Turkey was attacked by Iran? And of course the answer is Israel. You see, Turkey is a part of NATO and when a NATO power is attacked unprovoked, it triggers what's called article article section 5, which to make a long story short, is basically all of NATO being on your goddamn head. Now the logical question will be, well then why isn't all of NATO jumping in right now, considering that the US is part of NATO? It's because Iran has only responded to the attacks from the us. They did not initiate those attacks. But Iran was also accused of attacking another NATO country early on, the uk, because the UK has a sovereign base in Cyprus and attacking that base is actually akin to attacking the UK directly. And with the news that the Kurds would be sent into Iran by the CIA and armed to try to take over the government, you would want to do your best to make sure that Turkey is on your side and not Iran's side, because Turkey and the Kurds do not get along. So we see an attack on Azerbaijan and Iran said they didn't do it. Then we see an attack towards Turkey where the missile was intercepted and Iran also they didn't do it. And Turkey borders Azerbaijan. And although Azerbaijan and Turkey have a working military relationship, so does Azerbaijan in Iran for the most part. So how do you ensure Turkey stays on your side despite the fact that you plan on arming the people that they most dislike? You have the country in question. Attack Turkey directly. This way you kill three birds with one stone. You open up a direct route through Turkey and Azerbaijan to attack Iran. You potentially convinced all of the NATO powers to join because of Article 5. And if Turkey truly believed that they were attacked by Iran, they would likely put their feelings about the curse to the side like they did in Syria, and deal with the country that just attacked them despite the fact they thought that they were allies and the fact that Turkey condemned the attacks on Iran since start of this war and you convince one of the countries closest to Iran to start using its weapon systems against Iran as well. All the signs are there, people just pay attention. Israel is literally revealing their plans in real time. It's just up to you as to whether or not you want to believe them. Because after all this time and all this history and all the examples we have from the past, I definitely believe them. They ain't got to convince me no more. It's y' all they gotta convey.

[A]

So great work. So we've also showed you videotapes of Tucker Carlson saying that they caught Mossad inside Qatar trying to plant bomb Qatar and I think Saudi Arabia. But we know that Israel bombed Saudi Arabia's oil or one of their oil refineries. So we know this.

[B]

So being the country that delivered the money to Hamas on behalf of Bibi Netanyahu.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Who paid for Hamas and the false flag that they use as a pretense to do a genocide.

[A]

That is correct. So it's no secret that Israel wants to attack, wanted to attack Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Turkey. They've done it. And so this is their. And so, yeah, they're trying to drag NATO into this war for sure. We'll see. We'll see what happens. Israel is the cancer. Israel is the destabilizer of the Middle East. And having a destabilized Middle east is bad for the entire world, except it's good for Israel.

[B]

I have some super chat fan on the derp with Go show that keeps telling me that according to the Bible code, already I'm like, not in bb gets slimed in July. Which I had to look up that meant. But that that they get sick of BB in July. So, you know, it's probably nonsense. But boy, what a fun thing if that happened. And it was like, oh, it was in a Bible code.

[A]

Wow. Hey, this is Jimmy. Who is this?

[D]

Jimmy? This is bb.

[A]

Oh, hello. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, everybody.

[D]

And.

[A]

And what?

[D]

War criminal? Don't forget that, please. Very important part of my resume. I'm one of these guys who likes it when the entire credits are given before my set.

[A]

If you're a comic, that's exactly who you would be. That's right.

[D]

Oh, for sure. No doubt get the MC in trouble if he messes up one little thing like Tommy Chong's wife.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

But alas, I am not a comedian. But I am close. I am a right wing lunatic leader of a genocidal rogue state.

[A]

Very similar.

[D]

You're telling me. Funny man. Jimmy, I haven't called in some time. I figured you did not want to hear from me.

[A]

Well, you figured you figured right.

[D]

But considering our long association with one another, I've been calling since 2011. After all, when all this was just a pipe dream, I felt I needed to call on my old friend Jimmy Dore. Because you might Be just one of the only people on Earth who understand how I feel right now.

[A]

What on earth could you possibly mean? You're a murderous psychopath in the process of destabilizing the entire planet. How can I know how you feel about anything? Honestly, I'm insulted by the insinuation.

[D]

Jimmy, please calm down. Listen, Jimmy, back in 2011, your dream was to have a massive fan base, a following, so you could travel anywhere and perform and get paid real money. And after many years and much hard work by you and your team, you have achieved that goal. That's a satisfying feeling, no?

[A]

Y. Yes, it is.

[D]

Well, Jimmy, that's exactly how I feel about the war with Iran. I finally achieved everything I've ever worked towards, and now I have everything I could ever want.

[A]

That's a terrible apology. I hate it.

[D]

No, it's not. The war with Iran is my. The Jimmy Dore Show.

[A]

Please stop saying that. It's libelous, if nothing else.

[D]

Jimmy, please. It's Baby. But it was not easy. Obviously, we couldn't engineer this situation without bringing the US into the conflict. And no president was stupid enough to even consider it until Donald Trump. And no Defense Department had crazier than Pete Hegseth. We had to get all our ducks in a row in that regard.

[A]

Yeah. Huh? Huh.

[D]

But even that was not enough. We needed to influence with money, money, money. We need everyone, or nearly everyone beholden to aipac, and we accomplished that. We knew we needed to generate enough money to support these donations. Our largest donor after October 7th was the CEO of OnlyFans.

[A]

Wait, for real?

[D]

Yes. Only truth.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

So in order to get my war with Iran, one of the things that needed to happen was to see to it that a massive amount of young American women turned to creating online pornography.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

We accomplished this in two ways, creating a hopeless economy in the U.S. so joining OnlyFans seemed like the only option. And then ensuring that the Israeli male population did their patriotic duty and subscribed to as many of these OnlyFans accounts as they could.

[A]

Wow. How selfless.

[D]

Yes, indeed. And they did this to show how we Israelis are the most moral people in the world and therefore deserve our war with Iran. And not only that, we opened up Israel to international sex criminals of all kinds, like your friend Kevin Spacey, with the strong suggestion that they themselves donate to aipac.

[A]

Aren't foreign nationals prohibited from contributing to US super pacs, Right?

[D]

Yeah, there's no way around that at all. Look, the point is, the only way Israel can be truly safe is if we pursue ethnic cleansing against the Palestinians and use the United States to start a war with Iran that already has no clear strategy, goals or end point.

[A]

So the only way Israel can be safe is to endanger the rest of the world.

[D]

Literally. At what point since 1948. 1948 has that not been crystal clear?

[A]

Okay. Point taken.

[D]

But as I called to say, Jimmy, I now have everything I've ever striven for. For strove for. English is such a confusing language sometimes.

[A]

You grew up in Philadelphia.

[D]

I have no recollection of those events. As I was saying, I now have everything I've ever wanted. And soon Christian apocalypse. Apocalypse enthusiasts may also have everything they've ever wanted. Which means I better get started enjoying all this while I can. Jimmy, what do you do when you finally achieved all you've desired? How do you enjoy it?

[A]

I don't know that I'd necessarily say that about myself. There is still a lot more I'd like to accomplish.

[D]

Like what? What is it that you seek beyond your war with Iran or whatever your equivalent would be.

[A]

Look, I told you. We have nothing in common. There is no possible way you and I can relate on any level.

[D]

It's bb.

[A]

Yeah, don't give me that bs. You. You Israelis have the disease where you think every American roots for Israel, empathizes with you, ignores your crimes against humanity. And that is not the case for us at all. You are not the good guys. You never were and never will be.

[D]

I see. I think what you are trying to tell me is that you want your YouTube channel demonetized. So be. I'll figure out some other way. I suppose to revel in my triumph. Needless to say, I subscribe to a number of American Shicks only fans accounts myself. Sad Kitty 2001 is my favorite. She only made $80 last month. She cries a lot. I enjoy that. Until next time. Jimmy, this is bb, Leader of the most mole army in the world. Signing off. Remember, Jimmy, through the ancient Jewish traditions, we gave morality to the rest of humanity. So now we need to take a little back to make it even. I'm sure you understand.

[A]

Oh my God.

[D]

Shalom, motherfuckers.

[A]

Yeah. Shabbat shalom. Okay, Bibi. Almost. It's not good to hear from you, I'll tell you that. But I appreciate you calling in.

[D]

Dinubis would be ambivalent for you.

[A]

Yeah. Yes. Yes. I would like to see very many bad things happen to you.

[D]

A mixed bag.

[A]

Hey. Become a premium member. Go tojimmy door comedy.com. sign up. It's the most affordable premium program in the business. All the voices performed today are by the one and only, the inimitable Mike McRae. He can be found at mikemcrae.com that's it for this week. You be the best you can be and I'll keep being me.

[C]

Don't freak out.

[A]

Don't freak out. I'm not kidding. Do not.

[B]

Do not.

[A]

I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. Don't freak out. Do not. Freak out. Freak out. Freak out. Freak out, Freak out.