Podcast
This Tantric Life with Layla Martin
Hosted by Layla Martin · EN
This Tantric Life is a podcast created by Layla Martin. The profound conversations throughout This Tantric Life are dedicated to exploring the deep wisdom and practices of Tantra, Sacred Sexuality, and conscious relationships. Join host Layla Martin as she invites her mentors and friends to dive even deeper into the Tantric philosophy and approach that can transform life, intimacy and relationships. Each guest shares their wisdom through deep, thought-provoking conversations that explore the mysteries of conscious living and loving and the opportunity Tantra and Sacred Sexuality present to help us free ourselves.
Layla Martin believes Tantra is the last bastion of personal development, and whether you're a seasoned practitioner of Tantra looking to deepen your practice or simply curious about the intersection between spirituality and sexuality, This Tantric Life with Layla Martin is the perfect podcast to guide you on your journey toward a more fulfilling and meaningful life. This Tantric Life with Layla Martin will inspire you to embrace your truth and awaken your full potential as a human being.
24episodes
Episodes
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How This Tantra Teacher Faces Grief and Still Has the Best Sex of Her Life
Mar 1501:06:50Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Why Tantra allows you to be both fully spiritual and fully human The reason your nervous system goes numb trying to process intense emotion How to use spiritual practices as enrichment to your life rather than bypassing Why women's sexual energy after 40 years old ignites instead of dwindles A simple beginners' practice for overcoming ageism and unlocking confidence Bio Kirsti Kuosmanen is a lifelong artist, psychotherapist, and pioneer in women's sexuality and embodied spirituality. A professional actress since 1989 and a graduate of Drama Centre London, she is a founding member of Stella Polaris Improvisation Theatre, Finland's first improv theatre. Alongside her performance career, Kirsti trained as a Gestalt Psychotherapist at the Gestalt Institute of Scandinavia and has spent nearly two decades guiding deep personal and relational transformation. Her spiritual path began in 2006 and led her into Tantra in 2013, shaping her work at the intersection of psychology, embodiment, and sacred sexuality. Kirsti is the author of Secrets of a Glowing Woman, Power Years of a Glowing Woman, and the forthcoming Garden of Venus. Kristi has trained extensively in Tantra, women's health, holotropic breathwork, psychedelic therapy, and coaching. She is a sought-after speaker for business organizations, teaching presence, communication, and embodied leadership. You can follow Kirsti's work on Instagram and learn more on her website. Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:00 - Guest introduction 00:04:27 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist: [FREE VITA Coaching Checklist] 00:07:02 - Why the birth of Kirsti's first child caused her a breakdown 00:08:57 - This is what it feels like to find your soul 00:14:18 - Tantra allows you to be both fully spiritual and fully human 00:15:22 - How the Tantric path supported Kirsti in a life transition through grief and loss 00:18:07 - Layla shares about her final conversation with her beloved stepfather 00:23:23 - Why your nervous system goes numb while trying to process intense emotion 00:26:13 - Experiencing spiritual practices as enrichment to your life rather than bypassing 00:29:16 - The witches were the original holders of grief, death, birth, and magic rituals 00:30:08 - [AD] MOOD Sex Magic - Podcast coupon code + 2 free sticks: [MOOD Sex Magic] 00:33:04 - Kirsti and Layla drink MOOD SEX MAGIC Elixir 00:37:02 - One of the top shadows that shows up in the Tantric field is ageism 00:39:38 - Why women's sexual energy ignites instead of dwindles after 40 years old 00:42:44 - Post-menopausal women used to use their power to become leaders and guides 00:45:46 - The younger male response Kirsti received when she began owning her sexuality 00:50:42 - Why men of ALL ages want to be sexually initiated, not just young men 00:54:00 - Some simple rules for experiencing Kundalini awakening 01:01:16 - Kirsti shares about her new book, Garden of Venus 01:05:29 - A simple beginners' practice for overcoming ageism and unlocking confidence 01:07:15 - Kirsti shares something she is currently struggling with and how she's overcoming it 01:08:44 - Conclusion
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Kundalini Rising & Soul Rebirth: Listening to Your Inner Oracle with Rebecca Campbell
Mar 101:25:34Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Layla and Rebecca share the stories of their Kundalini awakenings How undigested energy becomes trauma in our nervous systems How a Goddess dress and a case of norovirus became a spiritual crossroads for Layla How to tell whether your soul or your ego is speaking Rebecca's favorite simple way to stay connected with your soul Bio Rebecca Campbell is an international bestselling author, mystic, and spiritual teacher whose creations have inspired millions of people all over the world. Her bestselling books, oracle decks, and trainings have been translated into over 40 languages worldwide and her work has been featured in Vogue, The Sunday Times, Oprah.com, Psychologies Magazine, and more. Rebecca's mission is to support people to live a soul-led life and develop a direct experience of the sacred. Her events are full sensory experiences… you will always leave having shifted something energetically and connected deeply to your soul. Buy her latest book, Your Soul Had A Dream, Your Life Is It. Learn more about Rebecca's work on her website and follow her on Instagram. Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:00 - Guest introduction 00:02:34 - Layla's invitation to you as you listen to this episode 00:04:31 - What does your soul most want you to know in this moment? 00:05:08 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:09:21 - Rebecca shares the experience that initiated her spiritual path 00:10:59 - The moment Layla realized there's something deeper inside of her 00:14:53 - Rebecca's first time seeing soul in her adult life 00:19:08 - The two appropriate responses for pretty much anything in life 00:20:22 - The story of the soul death portal Layla experienced when her stepfather passed 00:25:47 - How undigested energy becomes trauma in our nervous systems 00:29:49 - Western society doesn't know what to do with death or how to honor it 00:33:31 - [AD] [MOOD Sex Magic] - Podcast coupon code + 2 free sticks 00:36:53 - How a Goddess dress and a case of norovirus became a crossroads for Layla 00:39:52 - Birth, death, and grief are beautiful… but they're not pretty 00:42:33 - Why Rebecca was afraid to become a mom 00:50:01 - Rebecca's story of her Kundalini awakening 00:53:20 - Layla shares the story of her Kundalini awakening 00:59:04 - How Western culture has let those of us who have energetic awakenings down 01:03:09 - How simple obligations can help to ground and regulate an awakening 01:04:52 - Layla shares guidance for people having a Kundalini awakening 01:09:42 - How to tell whether your soul or your ego is speaking 01:17:57 - Rebecca shares her favorite simple way to stay connected with your soul 01:18:55 - Bonus question with Layla 01:24:39 - Conclusion
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Why Kegels Don't Work and Other Surprising Things About Your Pelvic Floor Health
Feb 1501:11:21Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist How pelvic floor health directly connects to pleasure How modern life and high heels create tightness in your pelvic floor What you can start doing now to improve your pelvic floor health Lauren's advice to women who feel numbness during sex Bonus pelvic floor practice with Layla Bio Lauren Ohayon is the creator of "Restore Your Core®" (RYC®), a comprehensive and sustainable fitness program that empowers women who aim to be strong, long, mobile, and functional. With more than two decades' of experience as an internationally renowned pelvic floor movement specialist, Lauren focuses on resolving core and pelvic floor issues minus the "burn and shred" mentality. Her signature program has helped over 10,000 women regain confidence in their bodies and a life no longer limited by pain and pelvic floor symptoms. RYC® also boasts over 500 highly trained movement professionals around the world. She is also the co-founder of Body Ready Method® which is rooted in the RYC® Method and offers evidence-based online pregnancy, birth, and recovery programs and has trained over 1,800 professionals globally. Lauren and the RYC® teachers help women across the globe gain core strength, achieve ideal pelvic floor function, and learn to move efficiently and exercise optimally. Learn more about Lauren's work on her website and follow her on YouTube and Instagram. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaurenohayon/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@restoreyourcoremethod Website: Normal UTM (if you are hyperlinking text): https://restoreyourcore.com/?utm_source=tantric_life&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=homepage&utm_campaign=promotion Tiny URL (if the link shows): https://link.restoreyourcore.com/4d4b9uxv Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:00 - Guest introduction 00:02:58 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:04:26 - How pelvic floor health connects to pleasure and sexual experiences 00:09:24 - How modern life and high heels create tightness in your pelvic floor 00:12:51 - One of the best things you can do for your pelvic floor 00:19:07 - How the Tantric and Daoist traditions view the pelvic floor 00:22:54 - Why tighter isn't better for your pelvic floor 00:26:24 - Pelvic floor work should train the pelvic floor to be responsive 00:30:53 - MOOD Sex Magic - Podcast coupon code + 2 free sticks 00:35:10 - Loving your pelvic floor allows it to do what it needs to do to heal 00:37:34 - Why the most important part of a jade egg practice is your relationship to it 00:46:17 - What you can start doing now to improve your pelvic floor health 00:51:12 - Blood flow is the core biological basis of sensitivity in your body 00:56:11 - Lauren's advice to women who feel numbness during sex 00:59:57 - A powerful moment Lauren fell in love with the capacity of the pelvic floor 01:03:18 - What would happen if the whole world was in touch with their pelvic floor 01:06:13 - Conclusion 01:06:43 - Bonus pelvic floor practice with Layla
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How to Stay Madly in Love During Conflict with Your Partner
Feb 101:41:06Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Layla explains what she calls the 3% in a relationship Why it's important to process challenges somatically using your bodies The #1 question Layla asks herself when conflict arises How to use conflict as a vehicle into a deeper level of connection How a couple in their 70s went from roommates to intimacy, safety, and turn-on Bio Fabienne Annick is a Sex, Love & Spirit Coach who sees sexuality and partnership as profound mirrors for self-awareness and gateways to healing, growth, and magic. Her work is deeply inspired by her own exploration of conscious relationship with her beloved husband, Jef. Explore Fabienne's programs and coaching on her website and follow her on Instagram. Jef weaves together integrative psychology and cognitive restructuring as an improvisational art form. He has served as a consultant, coach, speaker, healer, teacher, and high performance mentor for more than a decade. A master level Shadow EFT practitioner who has innovated his own methodology, Jef's highest ideal is to model and help people influence energetic/emotional mastery with patterns of thought that create internal harmonization. His vision is one of stabilization and healing which continuously disperses itself throughout the collective psyche, while recognizing, honoring, and learning from the template of Union, alongside with his wife Fabienne, as their most sacred and valuable endeavor. Discover Jef's powerful work on his website and follow him on Instagram. Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:57 - Guest introduction 00:02:59 - Layla explains what she calls the 3% in a relationship 00:04:33 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:06:06 - Fabi and Jef share their epic engagement story 00:14:53 - How sovereignty and self-responsibility show up in conflict 00:19:16 - Why your relationship with yourself impacts your partner's ability to relate to you 00:23:03 - The value of processing things individually before coming together as a couple 00:24:15 - Keys to processing challenges in connection somatically with your bodies 00:26:14 - Second ad: MOOD Sex Magic (clean, scientifically-backed aphrodisiac supplement) 00:28:07 - Layla's top question for herself when conflict arises 00:35:47 - How to practice self-responsibility during relational challenges 00:47:04 - Fabi shares how she uses parts work to process high emotional intensity 00:55:03 - We all still think we're the only one who is broken and flawed 00:57:37 - Layla share the 5 core emotions that feel the most vulnerable for her in conflict 01:03:11 - 95% of humanity's problems come from the unwillingness to feel pain 01:07:00 - How to use conflict as a vehicle into a deeper level of connection 01:13:24 - What it looks like to walk through life as a perpetual student 01:17:06 - Fabi shares an experience of conflict with Jef that put her in full denial 01:24:55 - A vulnerable moment that made Jef fall more in love with Fabi 01:31:44 - Jef shares how a couple in their 70s went from roommates to safety and turn-on 01:39:08 - Conclusion
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The Hidden Teachings of Mary Magdalene and the Radical Love We Were Never Taught
Jan 1801:51:14Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Exactly what the "witch wound" is and where it lives in your body The one thing Layla would change in the Catholic teachings Why spiritual lies live inside our bodies as self-hatred How spirituality impacts our ability to be a sexual being What most people still don't understand about Mary Magdalene Bio Meggan Watterson is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of Mary Magdalene Revealed. She is a feminist theologian with a Master of Theological Studies from Harvard Divinity School and a Master of Divinity from Union Theological Seminary. Meggan is the founder of The House of Mary Magdalene, a spiritual community that studies the sacred texts left out of the traditional canon and practices the soul-voice meditation. Her work has appeared in media outlets such as The New York Times, The New Yorker, HuffPost, TEDxWomen, and Marie Claire. Meggan's most recent book, The Girl Who Baptized Herself, was recommended by Glennon Doyle in ELLE as "the book that kept me up way too late." You can follow Meggan's work on Instagram and find her books, meditations, and offerings on her website. Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:45 - Guest introduction 00:02:36 - The moment the gospel of Mary Magdalene began transforming Meggan's life 00:05:40 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:06:20 - Layla explains the messaging that Catholic scripture sends to women 00:12:32 - The shift in Christianity from fighting the unjust to enforcing it 00:19:41 - How distorted teachings contribute to loneliness and alienation 00:24:43 - A sovereign power exists within every person 00:26:36 - The one thing Layla would change in the Catholic teachings 00:33:00 - How experiencing rage helped Meggan finally return to her body 00:36:21 - The original definition of salvation 00:42:46 - We are only ever as far from our power as we are from our own embodiment 00:49:32 - Spiritual lies live inside our bodies as negative self talk and self-rejection 00:58:53 - Meggan shares her experience with self-doubt and a desire for external validation 01:05:18 - Layla shares the hallmarks of the Tantric tradition 01:17:37 - How spirituality impacts our ability to be a fully expressed sexual being 01:23:59 - It's easier to control men who don't have a power center outside of religion 01:30:15 - What most people still don't understand about Mary Magdalene 01:32:15 - A simple practice you can do right now to reconnect with the voice of love within you 01:43:09 - Conclusion
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What This Acclaimed Sex Therapist Wants You to Know
Jan 401:14:55Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Ian's definition of great sex and how you can bring it into practice Why basic chemical attraction is part of what keeps couples together How dating apps impact relational and sexual experiences The number one key to Ian and his wife's sex life after 25 years together A daily practice for men and one for women to enhance presence and pleasure Bio Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized sex therapist who works with individuals and couples on a range of relational issues that often lead to distress. He's regularly featured as an expert in various media, such as The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Economist, and NPR, as well as contributes regularly on the topic of relationships for CNN. Ian lectures frequently, with recent presentations for the Psychotherapy Networker Symposium, the Ackerman Institute, Tony Robbins, Goop, and TED 2021, and is the New York Times bestselling author of She Comes First and the recently published So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. In addition to being a Clinical Fellow of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists (AAMFT), Ian is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and is also a member of the American Family Therapy Academy (AFTA). He's the co-founder and co-director of the Sex Therapy Program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy, one of the oldest and most respected not-for-profit mental health training and treatment facilities in New York City. You can learn more about Ian's work on his website. Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:46 - Guest introduction 00:02:36 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist: FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:05:21 - Ian shares how his personal experience inspired him bring his work to the world 00:10:28 - The science behind how pleasure is created in the vagina through intercourse 00:15:53 - How sensual touch above the waist and communication impact sex and pleasure 00:16:59 - How to get a woman's desire going and enhance it throughout sex 00:24:25 - Ian shares his definition of great sex 00:31:18 - Layla explains what a recap after a sexual experience is and how it helps 00:33:00 - Ian and Layla drink MOOD SEX MAGIC 00:37:17 - How basic chemical attraction is part of what keeps couples together 00:39:45 - Can you create sexual desire if it was never there in the first place? 00:43:39 - Chemistry comes in all different forms 00:47:33 - Why porn is easier than partnered sex 00:55:54 - Ian shares what he sees as the biggest contributors to sexual issues 01:00:11 - How dating apps impact relational and sexual experiences 01:06:37 - The role willingness plays when it comes to sex in a long-term partnership 01:09:55 - The 3 different ways sex gets started 01:13:10 - The big key to Ian and his wife's sex life after 25 years together 01:13:56 - Conclusion
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What It Really Means to be Multi-Orgasmic
Dec 2101:16:03Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist Different ways we unknowingly leak our sexual energy in modern life Key ways to begin rebuilding your sexual energy How exchanging energy with your partner leads to increased pleasure What obstacles men face in becoming multi-orgasmic and how to fix them A simple practice to feel your Qi in less than 30 seconds Bio Lee Holden is a Qi Gong Master who has brought ancient tradition to the mainstream. He's the author of the bestselling book Ready, Set, SLOW and a PBS favorite with shows such as Less Stress, More Energy and Your Fountain of Youth. Lee is the founder of Holden Qi Gong, an online education center for Eastern Wisdom. You can learn more about Lee's work on his website and find him on Instagram: @holdenqigongofficial Follow Layla! 🌸 Instagram 🌐 Website 💌 Weekly Email 🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts 🎶 Listen on Spotify 💋 MOOD Sexy Plant Activated Supplements 🔥 For Men: Men's Sexual Mastery 🌹 Obliss: The Sexual Masterclass for Women Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:00:51 - Guest introduction 00:02:11 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification 00:05:30 - Sexual energy as the source of vitality 00:13:26 - When you can celebrate your power, you no longer have to hate yourself 00:14:41 - Transforming sexual energy into life force energy into spiritual energy 00:17:50 - Sexual energy is universal energy 00:22:24 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir using code PODCAST 00:24:20 - Different ways we unknowingly leak our sexual energy in modern life 00:27:45 - Layla's shares her favorite question to take inventory of your stress 00:32:52 - When you're inspired about the future, you have more energy in the present 00:40:36 - Key ways to begin rebuilding your sexual energy 00:44:19 - How sexuality used to be part of prescribed medicine 00:49:54 - How exchanging energy with your partner leads to increased pleasure 00:52:42 - What multi-orgasmic means for men 00:58:34 - How Lee learned to become multi-orgasmic 01:02:03 - Layla's shares her story of how she learned to be multi-orgasmic 01:04:06 - What obstacles men face in becoming multi-orgasmic and how to fix them 01:06:34 - Why becoming multi-orgasmic is important for both the man and his lover 01:09:12 - Energy work can build a bridge so both partners feel in the mood 01:10:51 - How slowing down during sex heightens and amplifies sexual energy 01:11:59 - Lee shares a simple practice to feel your Qi in less than 30 seconds 01:15:08 - Conclusion
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That One Time I Had Sex in a Cemetery (and Other Tales About Desire)
Dec 700:43:31Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist How the American approach to pleasure compares to other cultures Layla shares one of her favorite cemetery sex stories The #1 way to get back into a sexual headspace How to approach shame around your sexuality Dr. Kate shares a take home practice you can use to connect with your body sexually Bio Dr. Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D is a Licensed Psychologist (Clinical and Forensic) in California, Florida, New York, and Illinois. She's a Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist – Supervisor, and PACT III trained couples' therapist. As the Founder of Modern Intimacy, a nationwide therapy practice, Dr. Balestrieri is a passionate advocate for mental, relational, and sexual health. Throughout her work, Dr. Balestrieri focuses on helping people build resilience and recovery from what ails them to move from a position of pain or discomfort to one of thriving holistically in their lives. Dr. Balestrieri is the author of What Happened to My Sex Life? A Sex Therapist's Guide to Reclaiming Lost Desire, Connection and Pleasure, and is the host of the Get Naked with Dr. Kate podcast. You can learn more about Dr. Balestrieri's work on her website and find Dr. Balestrieri on Instagram: @drkatebalestrieri Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:00:55 - Guest introduction 00:01:54 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification 00:04:39 - Dr. Kate's 2025 mid-year sex in review 00:05:20 - The top ways Dr. Kate sees people lose desire 00:08:40 - How the American approach to pleasure compares to other cultures 00:11:15 - Layla shares one of her favorite cemetery sex stories 00:13:54 - Layla and Dr. Kate drink MOOD SEX MAGIC Elixir 00:16:19 - Dr. Kate shares a deep dive into her work with sex and addiction 00:18:22 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir using code PODCAST 00:20:27 - What it's like working with sex offenders in prison settings 00:25:04 - How better prevention can stop sexual violence 00:28:02 - The #1 way to get back into a sexual headspace 00:30:50 - How sexuality has changed from a cultural perspective over the last 20 years 00:32:11 - Dr. Kate's personal favorite thing about sex 00:32:54 - Dr. Kate shares her current sexual growth edges both personally and professionally 00:35:14 - How to approach shame around your sexuality 00:36:28 - Layla explains what it means to "eat shame for breakfast" 00:37:33 - Dr. Kate shares a take home practice you can use to connect with your body sexually 00:39:17 - Pleasure comes from within and you can access it anytime you desire 00:42:35 - Conclusion
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Beyond Love: The Hidden Keys to Lasting Connection with Andrew Horn
Nov 2301:32:11Tap to summarizeShow Notes Take your business to the next level with my VITA™ Coaching Checklist The difference between objective truth vs. your truth (a.k.a. how to stop arguing with your own assumptions) A practical script for conflict that doesn't melt into blame soup The Five A's of Requests (Ask, Acknowledgement, Apology, Action, Agreements) How to repair trust and build integrity like it's a daily gym routine Why "Do you want to be heard, helped, or held?" is the relationship cheat code Men's work, shame alchemy, and the real work of becoming who you say you are Bio Andrew Horn is an entrepreneur, writer, and relational leadership coach whom Forbes calls "Dale Carnegie for the digital age." He grew his last company, Tribute, to eight figures in revenue and millions of users, landing on the Inc. 500, before stepping away to focus on coaching and transformation. He also co-founded Junto, a community for leaders to explore men's work and personal growth. Andrew has shared his insights on global stages including Conscious Capitalism, Summit Series, and Google Talks, and coaches founders and executives from some of today's most innovative companies, including Hinge, Casper, and Everyday Dose. Learn more about Andrew's work on his website, at Junto, and follow him on Instagram @itsandrewhorn 00:00 Truth hits like electricity: authenticity, curiosity, presence 01:01 Meet Andrew Horn and why "being right" is overrated 03:03 The Burning Man suitcase origin story 04:00 Take your business to the next level with my VITA™ Coaching Checklist 05:31 "I love the sh*t out of you" - friendship, on record 08:07 Bad communication = hyperbolic criticism (why "never/always" backfires) 09:41 Learning to meet fire with skill (Non Violent Communication, ownership, objectivity) 10:56 Gestalt wake-up: three pillars to speak from your spine 13:40 The eye-contact exercise that turned truth into lightning 15:02 Coffee-machine confession: when honesty cracks reality open 16:09 Matrix moment: you don't meet people, you meet your story about them 19:16 Layla's jungle-cult nights and the psychedelic power of saying the uncomfortable thing 25:02 Choosing aliveness over being liked 27:49 Objective > subjective: the foundation of clean communication 31:16 Feelings at work and the "clear ask" example 32:12 Get 2 FREE sticks packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir using code PODCAST at checkout 34:02 Curiosity as the antidote to mind-reading 39:46 Byron Katie and "everyone makes sense to themselves" 43:49 Boundaried vs. boundaryless and the sacred pause 47:45 "Violent" (charged) communication vs. objective language 51:10 Needs-based consciousness (OFNER) - a map out of reactivity 52:26 The Five A's of requests: Ask, Acknowledgement, Apology, Action, Agreements 58:24 Why agreements beat "good intentions" every time 1:00:55 Rituals that keep love alive: weekly check-ins & love dates 1:01:12 "Therapy speak" complaints - the pragmatic reframe 1:02:40 Integrity = knowing yourself, speaking the truth, and keeping agreements <p class="e-91090-text encore-text-body-medium" data-encore-id= "text" data-slate-node="element" data-slate-fragment= "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...
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What To Do When Your Childhood Trauma Is Hijacking Your Relationship
Nov 1601:09:27Tap to summarizeShownotes Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up The importance of loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways Bio Shay Aiyana is the best-selling author of Becoming the One and the founder of Rising Woman, a global community dedicated to self-healing, relational transformation, and spiritual embodiment. Her work blends somatic awareness, inner child healing, and grounded spiritual insight to guide millions through the landscapes of heartbreak, love, and personal rebirth. With a writing style that is both poetic and piercingly clear, Shay weaves personal storytelling with practical tools to offer readers a deeply human, emotionally resonant experience. Her words are a balm for those who have been lost in self-abandonment, teaching them how to come home to themselves with compassion and truth. Having grown up in foster care and overcome cycles of abuse, addiction, and heartbreak, Shay's teachings are not theoretical – they are lived. Through Rising Woman, she has helped millions remember that healing is not about becoming someone else, but about reclaiming the love, power, and wholeness that was always theirs. Learn more about Shay's work on the Rising Woman website and follow her on Instagram @sheleanaaiyana Timestamps 00:00:00 - Take your business to the next level with my FREE VITA Coaching Checklist 00:00:59 - Discover the VITA™ Sex, Love and Relationship Coaching Certification 00:02:29 - Guest introduction 00:04:39 - How Shay's childhood taught her the impact trauma has on adult relationships 00:07:30 - Why we have a tendency to draw in partners who are a perfect match for our wound 00:09:26 - How raising a child has helped Shay recognize adult attachment behaviors 00:13:01 - There are different levels of the expression of your wounds 00:17:04 - Why attachment and trauma wounds need to heal through relationships 00:21:24 - What is a healthy amount of healing that can be done in a relationship? 00:23:14 - How to know if you're in a dead end dynamic in your relationship 00:27:01 - A conversation that taught Shay she wasn't the partner she thought she was 00:29:31 - What it looks like to let your partner off the hook but still be self-responsible 00:32:14 - Get 2 FREE stick packs of MOOD SEX MAGIC™ Elixir using code PODCAST at checkout 00:36:03 - How changing your self-approach to "I've got you little one" shifts everything 00:40:52 - How being honest about your hurt in the moment improves your relationship 00:46:30 - How bringing "death energy" to her husband deepened Shay's marriage 00:49:49 - The one question Shay asks herself when her inner saboteur comes up 00:52:31 - A breakdown of Shay's first book, Becoming the One 00:56:52 - Layla's biggest takeaway from this powerful conversation 01:01:43 - True mastery is loving your parts so they don't hijack you in destructive ways 01:04:40 - 4 pieces of wisdom Shay used to create a better life than she was born into <p class="e-91090-text encore-text-body-medium" data-encore-id= "text" data-slate-node="element" data-slate-fragment= "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...
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