U Up? Podcast Summary

Episode: Are Men Wearing Shoe Lifts an Ick?
Date: September 5, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid

Episode Overview

In this Friday Feels episode of U Up?, hosts Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid dive into dating dilemmas, personal updates, and listener emails. The main focus is on whether men wearing shoe lifts is off-putting ("an ick") or just an issue of personal preference, in the regular segment "Icky or Picky." The hosts also share thoughts on celebrating birthdays alone, home ownership anxieties, solo travel as a single, and the realities of presenting yourself confidently when dating. Throughout, the conversation is lively, personal, and full of relatable dating humor.

Key Discussion Points

1. Birthday Feels & Pool Problems

Timestamps: 00:37 – 13:00

• Jordana shares her birthday is approaching and her husband Mike will be out of town for work, leaving her to celebrate alone.
• They chat about awkward childhood birthdays and how adult birthdays can be surprisingly enjoyable, especially in early September.
• Jordana vents about her perpetually broken pool causing summer hosting anxieties.
  • "This pool is, like, ruining my life." — Jordana (04:26)
• Jared riffs on being an “honest” guest who would definitely be disappointed at a broken pool, justifying why Jordana avoids inviting him until it’s fixed.
• They agree that hosting expectations change with the seasons, and look forward to “no pool pressure” in fall.
• Wrapping up: humorous discussion about future plans for Jared to stay over and YouTube subscribers lobbying for a Jared-Jordana slumber party.

2. Life Updates & Planning the Perfect Solo Birthday

Timestamps: 13:00 – 15:19

• Jared provides a step-by-step proposal for Jordana’s solo birthday: breakfast in town, in-home massage, movie marathon, couch time, and takeout.
  • "If I had a Sunday birthday in the burbs...I would have a big breakfast, have the masseuse come to me...then movie marathon and order in." — Jared (10:03)
• They reflect on how flying on birthdays, or bachelorette trips, can be pleasantly escapist.

3. Social Media & Self-Presentation in Dating

Timestamps: 15:20 – 19:23

• The duo teases an upcoming YouTube special where they’ll analyze a listener’s Instagram grid for “dateability.”
• Both agree: Instagram is a crucial first impression tool for singles. Jordana admits curating her grid with potential dates in mind.

4. Icky or Picky: Are Shoe Lifts on Men a Dating Ick?

Timestamps: 19:23 – 36:41

Listener Scenario

• A 38-year-old woman met a man in the wild and began dating him, only to notice he wore extremely noticeable shoe lifts (3-inch heeled dress shoes and then wedge boots).
• Her dilemma: "I don’t mind a short king, but the lack of self-esteem and the commitment to the heels is kind of a turn off."
  — Listener (25:00)

Hosts' Insights & Debate

• Height Preferences:
  • Jordana’s pet peeve: shorter women insisting on only dating taller men.
    • "Leave the tall men for the taller woman!" — Jordana (20:58)
  • Jared shares that height is not a personal insecurity, but the “short king” narrative feels like a lose-lose label.
• Shoe Lifts & Confidence:
  • Both hosts empathize with feeling self-conscious but agree that shoe lifts often signal insecurity.
  • Jared admits using a lift for a medical condition as a child, but differentiates between shoes that give natural height (e.g., Nikes) and obvious lifts:
    • "A pushup bra is a look. Socks in the bra is a self-conscious thing." — Jared (27:18)
  • Double standards discussed: women get affirmation for appearance-boosting (e.g. push-up bras), while men look insecure if they're “trying too hard” with shoe lifts.
  • Confidence—even with perceived flaws—is the real attractor.
• Advice to Listener:
  • Jared: “She should not bang him.” (29:30)
  • Suggests the ick is less about height, more about overt insecurity.
  • Jordana suggests a middle path: address the shoes playfully, see if the guy opens up vulnerably.
    • “Those shoes are really interesting…give him the opening to be vulnerable about them.” — Jordana (33:02)
  • Both mock the scenario as if the shoe lifts were women’s accessories, adding comic relief.

5. Solo Travel: Should You Take That Trip Alone?

Timestamps: 36:41 – 47:22

• Listener email: Should a single woman extend her work trip in Germany to visit London alone, even if she’s not sure she’s a “solo traveler”?
• Both hosts enthusiastically support extending a trip, especially when flights/work are already paid.
  • “City trips solo? Yes. Adventures solo? Meh. You want someone to make fun of nature with.” — Jared (46:13)
• Hostels are lauded as social hubs for solo travelers.
• Tours—whether single-day or multi-day—are highlighted as great for making connections.
• Jared shares a humorous memory of ditching a hostel for the Marriott on a group trip, while Jordana confirms she’s always opted for hotels.
• Safety and “trust your gut” tips for women traveling alone.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On pool disaster summer:
  • "The pit of my summer has been this pool. This pool is ruining my life." — Jordana (07:34)
• On ostentatious shoe lifts:
  • “If you're going to wear lifts, at least make them discreet.” — Listener email (25:00)
  • "A push-up bra is a look, socks in the bra is a self-conscious thing...And with men, it's a double standard." — Jared (27:18)
• On height and confidence:
  • "This isn't a height problem. This is a confidence problem, and he's made it that way." — Jared (29:37)
• On solo travel:
  • “You want to be able to do an adventure, a nature thing, and look at someone and say, ‘that was stupid.’ That’s the goal of being in a relationship.” — Jared (46:13)
• On being honest with personal quirks:
  • “If he was like, 'my height’s always bothered me, I wear these’—it gives her the opening to say: you don’t need them. But he’s not.” — Jordana (31:18)

Segment Timestamps

• Birthday Feels & Pool Problems: 00:37 – 13:00
• Solo Birthday & Self-Care Plans: 13:00 – 15:19
• Dating Images & Instagram: 15:20 – 19:23
• Icky or Picky — Shoe Lifts Dilemma: 19:23 – 36:41
• Solo Travel Q&A: 36:41 – 47:22

Takeaways

• Superficial physical tweaks (shoe lifts, hats for balding) can signal insecurity more than boost attraction—the “ick” is rarely about the device itself.
• True confidence, openness, and owning your quirks matter most in dating.
• When in doubt, call out oddities in a playful, inviting manner—it may spark vulnerability or reveal incompatibility.
• Solo travel is less daunting if it’s an extension of a planned trip and in urban, social-oriented settings.
• Don’t sweat hosting anxieties—everyone’s house has a “broken pool” sometimes.

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