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Thanks again to Abercrombie for sponsoring this episode. If you're looking for your best denim this fall, this is your sign to upgrade. Abercrombie's curve love fit has gone viral for a reason. It's made with extra room through the hip and thigh, so the dreaded waist gap is gone for good. And if you're more of a classic cut fan, they've got you too, with timeless styles you can keep coming back to. No matter your shape or style. There's an Abercrombie fit that's going to feel like it was made for you, because denim should always make you feel confident, easy, and honestly unstoppable. Shop Abercrombie denim in the app, online and in store. Hello, and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the U UP podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.
B
And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? How you feeling on a Friday? What are your feels like?
A
I'm feeling like my birthday is on Sunday.
B
Whoa.
A
When's my birthday?
B
The best day of the year. Your birthday is on Sunday. September 15th.
A
September 7th. It's okay.
B
September 7th. The best day of the year.
A
Best days.
B
I always say your birthday.
A
It is.
B
It is. People are home. There's no summer vacation going on.
A
No.
B
And football season has started, so there's, like, a reason to, like, get together. There's something to do.
A
Yeah. September 7th. As an adult, great birthday.
B
Still summertime weather.
A
As a child.
B
Awkward, right? As an adult age into how great it is.
A
Yes. As a child, it's like, it's the first day of school. It's your birthday. No one is, like. No one's, like, concerned with who wants cupcakes?
B
We just had the summer eating.
A
We just met.
B
Yeah. Right.
A
Right now we have to celebrate with munchkins.
B
All these people, you know, I don't know you. I don't want your. I don't want your bribe.
A
Yeah. It's awkward. It's an awkward birthday when you're, like, in elementary school.
B
So funny how that works out because then you grow up and it's like you've got the best date.
A
It's lovely. This year, Mike is not going to be here.
B
Not going to be here, so. Oh, so the marriage is on the rocks.
A
Yes. That's basically the message we're sending. He's birthday alone.
B
Huh? Sounds fun.
A
It sounds like you guys are doing great. He's going to India for work.
B
India. India.
A
Look at him.
B
What is he gonna do in India?
A
He like manages some people who work in India.
B
I love it.
A
Yeah.
B
So where in India? That's a big country. That's like saying going to America.
A
Mumbai.
B
Mumbai. Love it.
A
So he's leaving on the sixth long flight for the whole week. Yeah.
B
How long's that flight?
A
I think he transfers in like somewhere.
B
Nothing direct to Mumbai.
A
Abu Dhabi or something. I don't remember. Somewhere in the middle.
B
The old New York to Abu Dhabi.
A
Something like that. I'd probably. That's probably.
B
No, that makes sense.
A
Something like that.
B
Well, good. So you're gonna be alone sitting me alone by the windowsill. You and Ronnie.
A
It's okay. And there's one ball leaving his wife alone on her birthday.
B
Yeah.
A
I've just. I've made it clear that I expect a nice gift to make up for it.
B
He better bring back something. Maybe he'll bring back a fun titty shot glass. Maybe from Mumbai.
A
Ronnie and I.
B
For Ronnie.
A
Ro told him, you. You bring a. You bring a checked bag and you. You go with it empty. Because I'm gonna need a lot of souvenirs.
B
That's exciting.
A
Yeah. So I'm hosting. I guess this comes out the 5th tomorrow night. I'm hosting an all girls game night at my house.
B
Is that like a birthday? Yeah, that'd be the birthday thing. All girls game night. What's. So what games will be played?
A
I was considering like hiring a game person to do like a murder mystery or something.
B
That's fun. Yeah, definitely do that.
A
Should I do that?
B
Yes.
A
Should I like, go in?
B
Go all. Maybe I could come and be. I could be the murderer.
A
You could come to the birthday party. There is.
B
Let me just say there is some rumblings in the YouTube comments that you are avoiding having me over Jared.
A
Okay.
B
Okay, here's the YouTube Commenters have noticed that every time I say, I'm ready to come over, you go. We'll find a date.
A
Jared. The. The. There's a smidge of truth in there. I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to tell you why.
B
Okay.
A
My pool's broken still. My pool's broken. Yeah.
B
You don't want me coming over complain about the pool.
A
And I don't. And I don't.
B
What happened with the pool?
A
It's the lemon. It's. We. We hadn't really opened it until this year. And then we opened it. We got like two good days out of it. And then the whole. All the equipment just starts slowly breaking down.
B
Really all.
A
And then we had to get like the. Like electricity wasn't working out there, so we had to have an electrician come, and then it stopped, stopped working entirely. So now they have to, like, run a whole new cord. I'm just like, this pool is, like, ruining my life.
B
I have to agree with you. The last person I would want at my house.
A
Yes.
B
On the pretense of a pool day where the pool breaks is me.
A
That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
B
If I showed up and there's not pool, I would be, what are we even doing here? I, I.
A
You don't think I know. You don't think, you think I don't know that? Yes.
B
You would tell everyone first things first on this podcast.
A
This is one of those things where you're like, does she not, you know, does she not like you? Is she trying to avoid you? It's like, yes, but there, this is one of the RA exceptions where there is a reason and it's because I'm embarrassed about.
B
Well, that's like, yeah, if I've date with someone on Hinge, and then I'm like, but I'm away this week and then I'm gone the week after. So let's just do it in two weeks. It's like, jared, do you really want to go out with me?
A
Seriously?
B
Yeah. But I get it.
A
So we've had, we've had to, like, we've been, we, we really ambitious with, like, having people over this summer. So we had all these.
B
Thought the pool was going to be a part of your lives.
A
Yes. So we've been, like, inviting people over, and then, like, the, something happens with the pool, like, two days before they're supposed to come, so we have to send the text. And then sometimes people, like, don't want to come. Like, actually, like, I, I actually think people always don't want to come. But not everyone's polite enough. Everyone's, like, honest enough to say honest for your friends.
B
I have done that where I'm like, hey, I'll come over. We can go to the beach, because they live near the beach, and we'll do some stuff. And then they're like, the weather's going to be bad, but come on over. And you're like, oh, my God.
A
Right? Because now it's like a standoff.
B
Right.
A
Because, like, they don't really want you to come and you don't really want to.
B
But I don't, like, need to be in a house.
A
That's what I'm saying. I'm not going to invite you over to my house with no pool in the summer.
B
Yeah. No.
A
If the YouTubers want answers, okay. That's what's really going on.
B
Sniff this out.
A
It's actually causing me a tremendous amount of anxiety and, like, I can't even. I can't. I can't even get into it.
B
I mean, we're taping this. They don't know ahead of time.
A
Before Labor Day weekend.
B
Before Labor Day weekend.
A
Well, we were originally gonna have hypothetically.
B
Said that there was going to be a cancel.
A
Yes.
B
If I see one Instagram story from a pool party at your house, it will not be. I will be angry forever.
A
I will listen.
B
This podcast will get awkward if you.
A
Want to sleep in a green pool, which has some random in it because I've also been gone for 10 days. I don't know what the is in there.
B
I'd rather.
A
If you want to. If you want to swim. That has not been running for upwards of two weeks. It is green. You are more than welcome to come by and have pools in Delray take a dip. If you want a urinary tract infection, you are welcome. Anyone who's listening is welcome to come swim in my disgusting pool.
B
What a goodie bag. Peace. When I. You're burns. When I pee. Where'd you get that? Jordana's pool.
A
So that's what I'm saying.
B
Okay. I'm happy we hash this out live on the podcast Friday feels this session.
A
I'm almost excited for fall so that, like, no one's expect. No one's expecting a pool anymore. And then I can actually have people over again.
B
So are you going to get someone over to fix it?
A
Yeah, we're working on it. But then we were just gone for like, right. And then.
B
But you've had issues with scheduling.
A
And then it's like, what? It's like all the problems lead into the other problems. Like, so it's like first you need the electric and then they can see if they can't even see if the other thing is now working that they just fixed because there's no electric out there.
B
So this is a disaster. No, it's a complete. To deal with this.
A
It's a complete disaster. It's actually like, I would say if you talk about the pit of my summer, it's been this pool, this pool. This pool has been the pit of my summer.
B
Right. Because then there's a point where it's like, okay, you could fix this and fix that and fix this. And you're like, well, then pool season's over. What we're fixing this for Next summer. And then you get to next summer and you're like, let's fix it.
A
And then it's like prophecy. That's what I'm saying. It's like, this pool is ruining my life.
B
I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Yeah. Nobody knows struggle like you do right now.
A
I know, right? I have to say, I've been through it.
B
I, I. So I guess we'll postpone our hang until next time.
A
I mean, you're welcome. Here's the thing. Now that.
B
Find a woman by then.
A
No. Now that fall is coming up, you come over. No. No expectations of pool.
B
Swim. I like a little, you know, a little. You know, if you turn the heat up.
A
All right. We'll have to wait till. Till next summer then.
B
We'll wait till next.
A
No, wait till your show in on in Long Island.
B
I'm staying with you at my show.
A
You will. You will see what a good host I am when you come stay with.
B
Me for that YouTube extra.
A
Yes.
B
Taping the whole experience.
A
The crew out there. Get the crew out there. We got to get to, we got to get to a certain number of YouTube subscribers, though, to get.
B
I listen subscribe on YouTube so that I can make this happen. I want a Jared. Slumber party.
A
Yes.
B
Episode.
A
I want a live scream of the entire thing.
B
I will scream it. Speaking of shows, I'm on the road. Would love to have you at a show. Winnipeg, Manitoba. I'm coming. Kansas City, Missouri. Richmond, Virginia, and Washington, D.C. i got many more cities. Jared. Free dot com. Assemble the group chat. The show is fun. It's about traveling alone to Europe. It keeps evolving. It's getting better. Still waiting on Jordana's brother to review the show.
A
Yes. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call him tonight to find out the honest review.
B
What else is going on in your.
A
Life besides the pool that's ruining. Besides the pool and my birthday and.
B
Your lonely birthday and my lonely, sad.
A
What do you. What do you think I should do on a birthday alone? Oh, I know because I'm having a Saturday hang with my friends.
B
So. Saturday hang and then Sunday's the birthday.
A
Yeah, Sunday's the birthday.
B
Perfect.
A
I would keep getting a massage.
B
What do you think? I would have the massage at the house.
A
Okay.
B
You. Okay, here's how I would lock Ron in a room. Ronnie, Ronnie, he's not getting a massage. So here's what I would do if I had a Sunday birthday in the burbs on a fall alone. You know where you live? Way into the woods. The property is so huge, they have to put it way back in the woods. So I would have a big breakfast. I would go out, I'd leave the house, go into town. Breakfast, like bagel, eggs, all that stuff, all the fixings. Then I would have the masseuse come to me at my house.
A
I have a woman, she's great.
B
Come to the house. Then I would set up candles and movies and have a movie marathon. Rot day on the couch, order in food for dinner.
A
That sounds lovely.
B
Doesn't that sound good?
A
That sounds like a great birthday.
B
I'm a great planner.
A
Do you spend your birthday alone a lot?
B
I. Yeah. A lot of tears.
A
No, I'm saying, like, I feel like you've had a. You both know how to. You know how to do it, right?
B
I know. Well, I was on the flight to Australia on my 40th, so. Or to New Zealand on my 40th.
A
That's kind of, you know, I feel like being on a, like a business class flight is sort of just like spending a whole day at a. One of those movie theaters where you can order food.
B
Absolutely. I, I think that it is nice to be in the air and not the thing about flying and it's the good and bad of it is it lets you. It gives you the excuse to do nothing, to put your brain just, oh, I can't look at my bills that I've been avoiding. I can't look at work. I can't.
A
Right.
B
The Internet's not great. You always have an. It's a built in excuse to kind of put off life, to like literally put your life up in the air.
A
Look at you.
B
And it's a bad thing too, because you get addicted to that a little bit.
A
Right.
B
And it gets in the way of like relationships and you know, hey, we should go out while I'm traveling, you know?
A
Right. Built an excuse.
B
Yeah, it's built in. So I. But I'm pretty good at planning these things. Like the bachelorette party. I had someone message me that they did the bachelor party in Del Rey like I had suggested.
A
Oh, wow.
B
Loved it.
A
Maybe you should work with over the Moon to be a travel agent.
B
Right. I could work with what's her name who stole my idea. Ramona.
A
Oh, Avery Singer.
B
Avery Singer. She's got a planning or maybe that she's done with that business.
A
I don't know. I haven't heard.
B
I haven't heard much about it.
A
All right, so I've got my. I've got my birthday. I got my Alone. Birthday. Ready to go?
B
I. I think you're ready.
A
Yeah.
B
So before we get started Monday, we have a YouTube exclusive. We have a listener who sent in their Instagram grid, and we're gonna, like, rank it.
A
Yes.
B
We're going to talk about ability, how.
A
Dateable you are based on your Instagram or what. You know what, someone who's looking to date you, their first thoughts would be when they saw your Instagram.
B
Your Instagram told me this.
A
Yes. Everyone wants to know. Right.
B
You. Well, if they said, then they want to know.
A
I mean, if I. When I wouldn't want someone I was dating.
B
You look like a lonely loser.
A
When I was dating. I definitely, like, that was in mind when I was. When I would look at my Instagram grid, it would be sometimes a lot of the time with this person who's. Who I know is looking, what will they think?
B
Right. And there is a first thought. It's like, you know, it's marketing. So we have that going up on YouTube. Get subscribed to the channel, and if you subscribe, you might see me do a slumber party at the Marinelli Abraham.
A
Yes. Would love that. By the way, amazing ad you did with Tommy John. Tommy John. A great ad. I forgot the name of the brand, but they were.
B
It was the underwear company. Thank you.
A
That was. That was amazing. I think they, you know, whatever.
B
They got money paid you.
A
They should have paid you more.
B
I agree. I agree.
A
And that. That must have performed.
B
It did really well.
A
Sex sells.
B
That's right. And I am sex on a stick. I basically, they were like, we want to do an underwear ad. And I was like, well, just do an ad like Calvin Klein does with me.
A
Yeah.
B
And it was your idea. It was my idea. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.
A
It really underpaid you.
B
Right? I. I'm.
A
You're also the creative agency. Yeah.
B
Right. And we had other pictures that I would not put out there if you paid me.
A
You should frame them and put them in your home.
B
There's a bunch that I was like, ugh. Is that because you have in your mind's eye what you look like?
A
Yes.
B
And then you have what you look like. And while you're taking the pictures, you're like, that. No, I couldn't even look at the ones I didn't like. The ones I didn't like. Yeah, that's the picture. That's the one that made it out. You can tell that I'm, like, leaning over, like I'm hiding things, which is not what I would like, say out loud. But then My parents. And, like, they're my parents friends. Like, my parents friends came up to me in. I went to have dinner with my parents, and one of their friends came out and goes, I saw your little picture with Tommy John. And I go, thank you. Thank you. I'm happy. I liked it. And they go. They go, yeah, you're hiding everything. Like, they're pointing out they want more. Well, they're like, I can tell. Basically saying, you're insecure.
A
You should have flashed them.
B
Well, you. Liz Goldberg. Here's my. Is that what you want to see?
A
And then you were.
B
This is what you want?
A
He was never allowed back at the country club again. Red flagger. Deal breaker. He was banned from his parents country club.
B
Why can't you go in the clubhouse? Well, a woman said that I was embarrassed of my body, so I pulled out my ball and I said, suck on that. Oh, my God.
A
Okay. By the way, I saw you got a bicycle.
B
The bicycle. Is that a new.
A
Okay, we'll talk. Okay.
B
Bicycle.
A
All right. They'll have to wait. The benefits episode is already out, so they're hurt. Yeah, they've already heard it.
B
The feedback I got on the bicycle is crazy. I love the bicycle. The bicycle is me inching towards becoming a Delray resident.
A
Okay.
B
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A
I am a huge Rakuten user.
B
You're a user?
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B
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A
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B
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A
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B
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A
Some of that's mine.
B
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A
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B
Icky or picky. This is the game that's sweeping the country. You've met someone, they have something that they do. Is it an ick valid or is your ick valid or are you being picky?
A
Yes.
B
Go for it.
A
All right. Hi, jj, Longtime listener, first time writer here with an icky or picky for you.
B
Thank you.
A
I, 38, female, recently managed to meet a guy, 36, male, in the wild. Go me. We met at a bar. He came over towards the end of the night while I was sitting with a friend. We chatted for about 20 minutes. He got my number, and we followed up with some texting and phone calls before setting up our first date.
B
This all sounds.
A
Sounds lovely. Yes. The date went well. There was good conversation, a lot of flirting, and a little bar hopping.
B
Oh.
A
I had noticed he was on the shorter side, but as a shorter woman myself, it didn't bother me until we played pool.
B
Okay. I like it. Oh, he's a little short. As she's like, short, like.
A
Yeah, I don't. I. It's. As a taller. Not like, I'm not that tall, but I'm on the taller side. As a taller woman. It does bother. It does annoy me when shorter women also only want a taller guy.
B
Really?
A
Because I'm like, those are for us.
B
Right.
A
You stick with people.
B
How tall you need. Right?
A
Yes. Right.
B
Like how it should. Why do you need.
A
Right. Taller than you. Taller than you. I understand.
B
Yeah. If it should be. I like a guy. I like a guy. 6ft 2 is a little bit much.
A
Yes.
B
I like a guy three inches taller than me. Is a totally different.
A
Yeah.
B
Perspective.
A
Because one is about you and one is about society.
B
Right. So, like, I need a guy who's 8 foot 4. It's like, well, I think you're in trouble, miss.
A
Right.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. Leave the tall people, the tall men, for the taller woman. Okay.
B
I hate the height conversation. As someone with no real height, here's the issue with male ego, Okay? I don't have an issue with my height. I'm like, it's not something that bothers me. I have my own insecurities.
A
Another way you wear your height very well.
B
Whatever it is, it's just not something I even think. I have my insecurities again. Sure, I took a picture of myself in my underwear and hid everything about me as. As Liz told me, my mom's friend Liz, she didn't get enough of the goods. But I, I. It is hard as a man to sound confident when someone's like, oh, look at you. So you're short. You're 5 8. And I go, well, I don't think of myself.
A
I don't know who says that to you people.
B
It gets sad.
A
It's so weird.
B
It is weird. Well, the short, the short king conversation.
A
It'S rude, I would say. No, I think it's.
B
Well, it's rude. But, like, I don't think you don't.
A
Like short king either.
B
I don't like short king.
A
I don't consider you in the, in the short king camp either, though.
B
I wouldn't either. But even if I get, if I say I don't think of myself as a short king calls me now I'm defensive. This is kind of what I'm trying to get.
A
I see what you're saying. It's like a little bit of a, like, lose lose.
B
It is a total lose lose. It's whoever smelt a dealt it, you know, type of thing. Because if you say you farted well, you smelt it, delt it well, I think it's you. Whoever gets called out first, the retraction.
A
No one cares about, it's a non thing to you.
B
When it's a non thing to you and then you get called out on it, all you can say is, yup, I'm a short loser. Like, I don't. There's only one way to sound confident. This is where men get, like, tangled in the web of looking like a loser. Well, no.
A
Right.
B
No, they. Nothing sounds.
A
I think you play it very well.
B
I try my best on my right leg. I'm taller than my left.
A
Right. Because of the whole womb thing.
B
One leg. No, that's a different issue. I swallowed in the womb and I have one leg an inch and a half longer than the other.
A
And that's your whole pack. And that's your baggage.
B
That's me.
A
Yes.
B
More I talk about myself, the sadder it gets.
A
No.
B
Okay.
A
All right. Okay. While he was setting up the game, I glanced down and that's when I noticed the shoes. Not just regular dress shoes, but full on at least 3 inch heeled dress shoes. And once I noticed them, I couldn't unsee them. They were so loud that they even tapped on the hardwood floor when he walked. He's wearing tapped. He's tough dancing.
B
Like that would be.
A
Yeah, that's a lot dancing.
B
That is an ick.
A
I mean, these are.
B
Can you imagine if I was like, whoa, these do tap?
A
Yeah, I think.
B
I think that would be unfair.
A
That would be a bigger issue than the leg.
B
Right.
A
Doing different. Different lengths.
B
I didn't even bring up the legs being different lengths. I'm saying if I was wearing a heeled shoe and I noticed, whoa.
A
Yeah, no, that was like, oh, the tapping is worse than the heel. I agree.
B
Do I look like I could tap dance?
A
No, I don't think that's what they do.
B
That's not what they do.
A
I don't think they make that sound.
B
That's the sound of the tapping. I'm doing a whole act out here.
A
Maybe we'll take a tap class for one of our subscriber milestones.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay.
B
In your tap room that you have in the house in the mansion.
A
I have a tap room?
B
Oh, I thought you did.
A
No, we'll have to build one.
B
Build a tap.
A
Yes. Just for the subscriber for the pool. Okay. Earlier in the night, he mentioned he dressed a little nicer than usual because he came straight from work. So I told myself maybe this was just a one off.
B
Okay.
A
I even made a few comments about being a more casual woman in hopes that he'd leave the heels at home. Home next time. To call them heels is. So she's already. She's already written this story to call them.
B
Right. Oh, I'm just gonna wear my.
A
Are you wearing flats or heels tonight?
B
Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with a kitten heel.
A
Oh, my God. We ended the night making out in the parking lot, and he and agreed to meet up again the next night. So the next night I show up to the restaurant and the first thing my eyes go to. Yep, the shoes this time, heeled boots, obviously lifted, bordering on wedges. I didn't say.
B
She'S got to stop.
A
I could stop thinking about them the whole night. So tell me, icky or picky. The guy wears noticeably lifted shoes. I don't mind a short king, but the lack of self esteem and the commitment to the heels is kind of a turn Off. And if you're going to wear lifts, at least make them discreet. Thanks for all the laughs and advice. A tap, tap, traumatized batch.
B
This is such a metaphor. This email is exactly what I'm talking about with like the short king thing. No one cares about any of this if you play it right.
A
Yeah. This isn't right. Unless you have these heels.
B
Right. If you. Well, I only wear them on second dates. No, I, I've noticed certain shoes I get more height out of.
A
Well, lifts are a thing, right?
B
Lifts are a thing. What are. I have one like an inch and a half long in the other. I used to wear a lift in my left shoe.
A
Okay.
B
So. And I used to have one that was on the outside that got made and I also had one that was on the inside that was uncomfortable.
A
Why don't you wear it anymore?
B
I stopped wearing it like within 6 months at 12 years old. When I was. When I found out about this.
A
When you found out everyone knew you were wearing heels.
B
Heels. Well, one of them. I mean. Yeah, those go in the shoes.
A
In the shoes.
B
So there's like on the outside. I mean like.
A
But you've got to have a bigger shoe for those to fit with your foot, I would assume.
B
Yes. And. But I'll say this. I have shoes though that like, just regularly. Like a Nike. A Nike high top. Makes me look taller.
A
Okay.
B
Yeah. That goes in the inside.
A
Yeah.
B
And it gives you a couple inches.
A
It's like a padded bra for your foot.
B
Right.
A
Okay. Which, which when you say it like that. Okay, okay. I've worn padded bras before.
B
Here's the thing about it. I want to put.
A
I've worn a push up bra.
B
Right. The reason.
A
But my breasts are not that high on their own.
B
But you wear a push up bra. It's. I think it's similar to me wearing Nikes that give me a little bit more height.
A
Right.
B
As opposed to the item that was built specifically for a man who's concerned with his height.
A
Right.
B
Because one. It's just the way, it's the branding of it.
A
I, I do agree. It's like that's more like if I were to stuff several socks into my bra, I feel like is the right. The is the. Is more equivalent to the shoe.
B
Right. A push up bra is a look. A socks in the bra is a self conscious thing. And we see the male ones are just, just not very male presenting. Like it's just that's not how men show confidence like women. There's a push up. It's a Double standard. There's a push up. Look at, she's looking hot tonight. She's got a lot of confidence. Man wears heels, right. And he's like, oh, look how much he cares about how shorty.
A
Well, that's the double standard is it's like to try to appear to be trying too hard as a man is bad. Bad. Whereas trying hard as a woman is not seen, I think is as much of a bad thing.
B
Right. And listen, we're not going to change like this show. We have a very, we have, we have said for years, we're not here to change things things. We're here to tell you the weather, how to. And you may bring an umbrella, you know, so on that front, like I'm with this woman that it's icky to see this like and to. I, I can understand like a guy.
A
Balding with a hat.
B
Right.
A
A little bit.
B
I'm trying to think of the female version.
A
The guy with the hat who's losing his hair is similar to this thing because they're both like. I think that for both sexes, but particularly for men having a con, like the confidence thing is such a big part of it that I think that's the, they're right. Those are equivalent in the sense of like I feel self, saying I feel self conscious.
B
Right. If this guy came to us and was like, hey, I have the option between these heeled shoes that give me three more inches and not we'd both look at him and go, dude, not worth it.
A
Right?
B
You're not going to get out of this. The negative will be worse than the positive. Like the negative is this person's gonna look at you in a way that's put off by you. The positive is they don't even notice it.
A
Right. You know, which is very possible.
B
Right?
A
Yeah.
B
And they just think you're this height and then they find out later that you're not that height. Then you have to explain it. It's not gonna work for you.
A
I agree. Yeah.
B
But I would say if that guy was like, I would sit here with that guy and say, to say, say to him, go get Nike high tops.
A
What should, well, what should she do?
B
She should not bang him.
A
Can she say something? No, no, no, I don't.
B
What are you gonna say? I, I, because we're wearing slides tonight. This isn't a height problem. This is a confidence problem. And he's, he's made it that way. I don't know.
A
He must think it works.
B
Of course it is working. He's on the Date. He's kissing in the parking lot, but.
A
He might have been kissing in the parking lot without it.
B
Exactly. That's right. But he's not the one talking to us.
A
Right. He doesn't want to take the risk, you know? Yeah, I think it's icky. I, I, I feel bad.
B
I'll give you a male form of this. I've been out with people who don't eat and I'm like, are they on Ozempic?
A
Okay, so like you think of a female version of this is a woman who's not eating any food.
B
I think so that like, holding back.
A
Because it's, because it feels like a. So you're saying, or is it Ozempic? That's the confidence thing.
B
Like, if someone's on Ozempic and openly on it, I'd be like, great, good for you. But if they're like hiding, I'd be like, I'm not really getting to know this person and they're not really ready to like, open up with me and be vulnerable and like, get a little dirty with me. I mean, that's making it I, Again, this version might not be equivalent, but I think as far as like, getting to know someone, like, if I was to like where I'm giving her enough room to be icked out by this.
A
I think, yeah, I think that's like if you're with a guy who was wearing a hat all every date and then he's like, he almost gets ahead of it and is like, I, you know, I have like, my hair isn't what it used to be and I'm a little self conscious about it and so I wear this hat a lot. It would be like less icky than I think, just wearing it and refusing to take it off. Like, we've gotten emails about that.
B
Right. Well, we had a guy that was having sex with the hat on. Yes, right.
A
The shoe thing. I think on that, even on the second date, if he was like, my height's just like always a thing that kind of bothers me. I wear these shoes. And then that gives her the opening to be like, you really don't need them. I prefer like, I, I don't care.
B
That you're, I don't know how he would do that, how he would bring it up first date, hey, well, how.
A
Would you want someone to say the Ozempic thing?
B
I don't know, I, I think right.
A
How you're saying you don't mind if they were open. If they were open about it, you.
B
Don'T care Again, that's a double standard as well. I. I think like, well, what if.
A
On the first or second date they were like.
B
If they were so okay with it, they wouldn't have to.
A
What if they were like, I'm sorry, I'm not ordering that much. I'm actually like, I'm on OIC and.
B
Oh my God, what's that? Like? I would. It would open up a conversation. I'm saying, what made you. Yeah, but I don't know if the shoe one is as easy.
A
Well, because the OIC thing, you could say I have. You know, it could be other reasons than like wanting to be thin.
B
Nah, I wouldn't believe that they have diabetes. Yeah. I don't know. I. I think the. Because the eating thing, you have to eat, like.
A
Right.
B
That's a conversation piece. The. Oh, and by the way, I'm wearing these cowboy boots because they're five inches taller. And then at that point, once you tell me who is it for?
A
Right. Well, I think I. Here's the thing. What I think she could do.
B
It could be for yourself. She really likes more than it is for a. A woman or a man. The shoes is for everyone else. Like, you're right.
A
I guess so. Maybe you like the way you look in them. You like the.
B
I. I've been wearing stilts for years.
A
Maybe you like the way. I mean, I think what she could do if she wants to try and again, it's okay if she's icked out. But I would say to him, those shoes are really interesting. I haven't ever like, I've. And then I would give him the opening.
B
Yeah.
A
To like, be a little vulnerable about them.
B
Those wedges are really interesting. I've been wanting a heel like that.
A
Yes. Where did you get that?
B
Talbots.
A
I think you could comment on them and then you want to know. I think commenting on it gives someone like a little bit of an opening.
B
If I was comfortable on a first date and she was like, are you wearing heels?
A
Reminds me of Mrs. Doubtfire. Daniel, are you wearing woman's perfume?
B
Yeah. Are you wearing heels? Like that would even be better. I would be able to handle that more. Yeah.
A
You prefer that.
B
I guess I would. Are you wearing heels? I have worn shoes.
A
Are you on a Zen? But I don't think you could ask.
B
I don't think you can do that. It's funny. One's easier than the other in both ways. Is that a push up? Those are titty.
A
Are those real?
B
Right? Are those real?
A
I'm sure men do ask Are those real?
B
Yeah, and they wouldn't be right.
A
That wouldn't be good. You know, I love a good pair of underwear, but it is hard to find. If it's flattering, then usually pretty uncomfortable. It's like riding up, it's digging in. And if it's really comfortable, it's usually makes you look like a grandma and you kind of feel a little self conscious about it. It's really hard to find the medium and skims has mastered that art. They have some of the most comfortable underwear that I have ever worn in my entire life.
B
It is funny that whenever I hear women talk about the skims product line, they do kind of like glow a little bit about it.
A
It's just really hard for women to find stuff that looks good on you and also like is really comfortable. I think that's just a universal struggle by many women.
B
I just love when we have a sponsor that helps our audience. It's nice to know skims is like helping people feel better about themselves.
A
Yeah. And I am. I am a believer. I'm a convert. I'm a skims gal. Recently I got the fits everybody full brief, which is like their regular underwear, which I am wearing all the time now. It's my favorite pair. I get annoyed when I wear it because then I have to wait until I wash all my underwear to wear it again. You just don't think about it, which is the number one thing for underwear for me. I also have the Bralette. It's a game changer. It lifts, it looks great. Super flattering, super cute, just the right amount of support and also incredibly comfortable. I haven't always loved bras. Who has? But with skims, they are changing me into a bra lover. Shop my favorite bras and underwear@skims.com after you place your order, make sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your own business. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Shopify's got you from the get go with beautiful ready to go templates. To match your brand style. Tackle all the important tasks in one place. From inventory to payments to analytics and more. Spread your brand's word with built in marketing and email tools to find and keep new customers. And did I mention that iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Your customers already love it. If you want to see less cards being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.combasches. go to shopify.comshopify.combasches.
B
All right, let's do another.
A
Do an email. Okay, you got it.
B
J and J. Longtime listener and subscriber. I went I wanted your opinion on whether I should attempt my first solo trip in February where I will be 31. I have a work trip in Germany and was thinking of extending it to travel to London. I have friends who love traveling alone, but I'm not sure if I'm the type of person who enjoy it. I know Jared has a lot of opinions on it and I've heard London is a good city to go by yourself. I'm from Boston. Not the most approachable person or always up for to be befriended by strangers. I was planning on staying in a hostel, maybe going to a comedy show. What do you think? Figured since I'm single, it could be a good way to get out of my comfort zone. Thanks for all. You do an antisocial extrovert. What do you think?
A
All right. What do you. I mean I want to ask the. The guy who's the travel special guy who special is all about traveling alone.
B
The new hours about traveling alone. I would say to this person that they're doing the right way.
A
Right. I feel like you don't really like traveling alone.
B
I don't. But if I was to give someone the recipe for a fun and adventurous alone travel trip, extending a trip that you're already taking. Good. So like you're going anyways you seeing us, you know, she says they're going to Germany. Okay. So the flights are paid for. If you want to see a place like London. I think a city is a great move for a loan over like beach resort or I would go to populous places city. That's where people are out and maybe on their own or are more likely to like rub elbows, so to speak physically. I think staying in a hostel, even though that's not for me is a great Way to go. Safety is obviously a concern, but yeah.
A
If you're safe, number one. Obviously.
B
Number one. But, like, I would never stay in a hostel because I'm not a pig like you. But I will say that's a really good way to meet people who are also traveling by themselves.
A
Totally agree. Because like, where else, if you're traveling alone, most people, it's like an economical, economic way to. To travel.
B
Right.
A
That's where you're going to find the most people. And those people are probably going out and looking for other people who are also alone to do things with.
B
Right. They have all the right answers already. So I would say that they should definitely do it. And London's a great place to go alone.
A
What do you think of a tour?
B
I think a tour would be good. I think the fear with a tour, like an alone, like, adult tour trip, is that you're going to be with people that you wouldn't connect with. But I do think if I took myself out of my ego out of it, you go, they're single, I'm single. They're from the States, I'm from the States. We all want to go see somewhere new. At the minimum, it'll just be a fun experience that no matter how. How bad could it be, it's all being planned for me, the dinners, all that stuff. And then maybe I'll meet one or two people that I really connect with. You're not looking to connect with everyone on the tour, right? I think that's maybe the thing that gets in your way is like, you hear from like, the 10 people who have gone on, and you're like, I wouldn't connect with any of these people. But it's like, pick one. You'll find one person. Yeah, I would assume.
A
No, I agree. I think a big group where you might. Because also you might find someone else who's alone on the tour, too.
B
The tour is like, like, I. I've traveled alone a lot because also I have the shows. So you have a reason to be there. That makes it a lot easier to, like, conceptualize in my head and not feel like a loser. This person has the work trip. That's a good way to do it. But, like, I've gone on, like, wine tours where it's like me and like six people, and they're all boomer couples, and they're like, what are you doing? That happened in Australia. I was in Adelaide and I went wine tour with these six people, and they were all three couples, all boomers from around the world. And Me.
A
Did they?
B
And they were like, what are you doing here?
A
They love that, though, I feel like.
B
Right. Well, once you had an explanation, I was like, well, I had. You know, I'm a comedian. I'm doing shows here. And they were into that. But, like, if I. Oh, I'm. I'm working abroad in Germany, and then I made my trip. You know, you have a story to tell.
A
I do feel like no one loves talking to strangers more than, like, an older couple.
B
Right. Well, it's just like you talked about being with Mike and Lisbon. By the last dinner, you, like, we've talked about everything. Bring in some new characters.
A
Literally, there was like, an. Like a couple in their 60s or 70s seated next to us who were speaking to us, I think, for that very. They had just gone. They're. They're from Texas, and they had just been traveling for three weeks together.
B
Oh, really?
A
Yeah.
B
So I think they're, like, enough of each other.
A
Yes. They're like, tell us anything about you.
B
Tell us everything. Yeah, I've had enough of this loser.
A
But also, like, I've been with 60 years plus the past three weeks.
B
Right. And they were nice.
A
Yeah, they were great.
B
Yeah.
A
It seemed like they had a lovely life.
B
It breaks up the trip a little bit. Yeah. So, yeah. Tours. I. I thought you meant like, a tour group. You're talking about tours.
A
Yeah, like a tour. Innocent, like. But I think a tour group works too.
B
Tour group. To travel with a tour group is different. I think a tour food tour is fun. I think they're right with the comedy show. Sometimes these hostels put on comedy shows in the hostel. I've done those before. I just think that. Yeah. Will just look at me like I was crazy. Yeah. They have comedy shows. There's a Hostel on 23rd Street. I've done shows there, like, a bunch of times. Yeah, it's. It was like, recently.
A
Yeah.
B
Yesterday. I was doing it by the dumpster. No.
A
Have you ever stayed in a hostel?
B
Yeah, I stayed in a hostel. I mean, I've been a snob my whole life. I was in Amsterdam. I'll never forget it. It was study abroad.
A
Yes.
B
And everyone's like, we gotta go to Amsterdam to smoke weed.
A
Did I tell this story at the Marriott?
B
I didn't tell you the story.
A
I don't remember. But I wanted. When I was abroad, you stayed there. I stayed at the Marriott.
B
That was like.
A
They had the comfortable pillows for after you were done smoking all your.
B
That's hilarious. Because I was in Florence and I went with my big Florence Group. And they're like, we're gonna go to Amsterdam. I was like, great. I'm not a big smoker, so. And I get, like, a little anxious when I smoke weed and when I've ever. And I don't even smoke anymore.
A
Yeah, I feel the same way about it now. But I used in colle would definitely.
B
Oh, my whole life I just not liked smoking weed. And this was back when it was, like, illegal. You go to Amsterdam, we're going to have this big pot fest. And I remember we get to. We get there and they're like, yeah, we're going to stay at a hostel. And I was like, great, sounds good. Thinking I could do it. And then we got high. And I said. And I remember we were walking around town. I'm starting to freak out. And I see that big Marriott sign above the city. And I'm like, I'm staying at that hotel.
A
Out.
B
I was like, there's no way I'm staying at a hostel. Goodbye. If you're with me, you're with me. Or if you're out, you're out.
A
Yeah, that was the. You were the rich guy abroad.
B
And then I said, I don't give a. I'll pay for it.
A
My dad will pay for it.
B
Yeah.
A
What do you mean you'll pay for it?
B
Yeah, with your job, the royal eyes. So we.
A
My father. My father.
B
It's on, papa.
A
Yes.
B
So I. I was like, I'm out. Like, I freaked out. Got a room.
A
Yeah. I was abroad with a girl like you.
B
Yeah.
A
It's like, we're not doing this.
B
There is no way in hell. Yeah. I have stayed in the hostel, but I think it was another place. But. But it wasn't. Like, it was always the hostel that was, like, highly suggested.
A
Right. The cool hostel.
B
Right. Not. But for this person. I'm saying, like, if that's something you're comfortable doing for you.
A
And if you really hate it, Jared's dad will get you a room at the Marriott.
B
We will get you. It's us. So. Yeah. But I. I would say, like, you just got to plan it. Right. Don't. Don't do the beach towns. That would be.
A
Yeah. And be safe.
B
Yeah. Try your best.
A
Yeah.
B
Extra chargers. Mobile chargers.
A
That's your solo.
B
I have one that's called Clutch. I'll give a plug. City.
A
And trust your gut. I think that's another. Especially traveling as a woman. If someone seems, like, weird, just go away.
B
Yeah. No, don't be polite. I'm going to give you a travel place. Let's decide whether you would go or.
A
Okay.
B
Wait till you're with someone. Okay. Tokyo, Japan.
A
I never been, but I feel like that would be fine to go solo.
B
I think Tokyo is probably fine to go solo.
A
Yeah.
B
Again, major city. There's tons of tick tocks on what to do in Tokyo. So you could, like, literally, like, do someone else's trip. Yeah, that's fun. Hostel in Berlin.
A
Sure. I would say similar to where she's going.
B
I've been to Berlin. That place oozes sex.
A
Yeah. People go there to underground club there.
B
Yeah.
A
It's cool.
B
Yeah. There's like, cool things happening there. Reykjavik, Iceland. Reykjavik. Yeah, Reykjavik, Iceland.
A
I've been there.
B
Yeah.
A
If Iceland is a little bit more of, like, an adventure city, but if so, if you're, like, into doing that stuff alone, I think that's fine.
B
I'm against it. I went to the Great Barrier Reef in Australia and doing adventure stuff alone.
A
Not for you.
B
Not as fun.
A
I could see that. Because you kind of want to. Like, the part of it is the memory.
B
Right.
A
Done it.
B
And the memory I have is like me on a boat staring at the.
A
Yeah.
B
Boat.
A
And part of Iceland is like, a lot. It's a lot of driving around. You kind of want to be with someone.
B
For that rural village in Mongolia.
A
Seems unsafe to go alone.
B
Yeah. Only if you're training to become the next Batman.
A
Yes.
B
The Amazon rainforest in Brazil.
A
That's adventure. Yeah.
B
Adventure stuff I'm doing as a couple. I want to be able to do an adventure nature thing and look at someone and go, that was stupid. Right? And that's like, the goal of being in a relationship.
A
Yeah.
B
And nature stuff you're never allowed to say to just generally anybody. This sucks. Right, Right. Like, when it's museums. I'm only going to museums. Nature, adventure with it. When I'm in a couple.
A
That's fair.
B
Because I need someone to look at.
A
Me to make fun of things with.
B
Yeah. To look at me and go, this was hard.
A
That's right. Museum I would do alone. But other adventure stuff I think is like a museum.
B
I gotta entertain.
A
The museum's not like, oh, like that amazing memory of the museum.
B
Like, fair. I wouldn't go to a museum.
A
I would do, like, a guided audio tour alone.
B
No, I need to, like, you know, I need to, like, interact, Point at the boobs and make people laugh.
A
I've been on museum dates. Those are fun.
B
Really?
A
Yeah.
B
Mexico City. Would you go? Everyone's talking Mexico City.
A
I feel like that's been a while. Right?
B
It felt like the next tulum.
A
I could see liking that it's a city, too.
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah.
B
All right. We did it.
A
We did it.
B
We solved dating, and we'll be back next week. Boom.
A
Thanks again to Abercrombie for sponsoring this episode. If you're looking for your best denim this fall, this is your sign to upgrade. Abercrombie's Curve love fit has gone viral for a reason. It's made with extra room through the hip and thigh, so the dreaded waist gap is gone for good. And if you're more of a classic cut fan, they've got you, too. With a timeless straight fit that never fails. No matter your shape or style, there's an Abercrombie fit that's going to feel like it was made for you. Because denim should always make you feel confident and easy and honestly, unstoppable. Shop Abercrombie Denim in the app, online and in store.
Episode: Are Men Wearing Shoe Lifts an Ick?
Date: September 5, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
In this Friday Feels episode of U Up?, hosts Jordana Abraham and Jared Freid dive into dating dilemmas, personal updates, and listener emails. The main focus is on whether men wearing shoe lifts is off-putting ("an ick") or just an issue of personal preference, in the regular segment "Icky or Picky." The hosts also share thoughts on celebrating birthdays alone, home ownership anxieties, solo travel as a single, and the realities of presenting yourself confidently when dating. Throughout, the conversation is lively, personal, and full of relatable dating humor.
Timestamps: 00:37 – 13:00
Timestamps: 13:00 – 15:19
Timestamps: 15:20 – 19:23
Timestamps: 19:23 – 36:41
Timestamps: 36:41 – 47:22
For more dating advice, listener stories, and comic banter, follow U Up? on Instagram and YouTube, and subscribe for bonus content.