Podcast Summary: U Up?

Episode Title: Coming Out After Kids ft. Chris Appleton

Date: January 23, 2026
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Guest: Chris Appleton, Celebrity Hairstylist and Author

Overview

This episode blends personal transformation, dating, and self-image with a deep dive into the journey of celebrity hairstylist Chris Appleton. The conversation moves from Chris’s professional expertise and his new book "Your Roots Don’t Define You" to his unique journey coming out as gay after having children. The episode intersects themes of authenticity, societal expectations, and dating later in life, offering both heartfelt advice and lighter moments.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chris’s Career, Pricing, and Philosophy ([00:00]–[03:50])

• Celebrity Hair Pricing: The hosts quiz Chris on his rates—he reveals the spectrum ranges from humble beginnings to charging up to $100,000 for a single travel-heavy gig, but balances it with non-paid, editorial work:
  *“It's not about the money. ...I've charged everything from, you know, a hundred dollars back in the day to skip money."* (Chris, [02:08])
• Passion vs. Payment: Chris explains most high fees involve travel and other brand work rather than just a haircut, and emphasizes the unglamorous, less lucrative side of the industry.

Notable Quote:
"For me, it’s not really about the money. It balances out. You do a lot for free."
– Chris Appleton ([03:20])

2. The Philosophy Behind "Your Roots Don’t Define You" ([03:50]–[08:30])

• Chris wrote the book to share his authentic story, correcting the perceived glamor of his celebrity life and reflecting on the universality of self-doubt and internalized limitations.
• Patterns & Perception: He discusses how people carry labels ("shy one," "chunky one") from childhood and lets them define their self-image, even in the salon chair.
• Superpower of Alignment: Chris points out the magic of aligning inner reality with outward presentation.

Notable Quote:
"A lot of people don’t look in the mirror and truly see themselves… Alignment on the inside with your external image, that’s when the superpower really comes into place."
– Chris Appleton ([07:14])

3. Coming Out After Having Kids ([08:30]–[12:30])

• Chris candidly shares his journey: pressured by early bullying and societal norms, he suppressed his sexuality, marrying and having children young, only confronting his identity in his late 20s.
• Internalized Shame: Chris describes the fear and denial that delayed his self-discovery.
• Authenticity and Healing: He stresses that coming out (or any big life change) is about self-examination and breaking free of limiting beliefs, not just sexuality.

Notable Quote:
"If you don’t want to look in the mirror, one day something will happen and you have to see yourself."
– Chris Appleton ([09:23])

4. Hair as a Metaphor: Breaking Limiting Beliefs ([12:30]–[14:50])

• Chris details how he gets clients to question their habits and self-imposed limits, both in the salon and in life ("Why can't you go blonde? Who told you that?")
• Salon as Safe Space: The hairdresser's chair can be a uniquely vulnerable setting for change.

5. Honest Advice—In Hair and Life ([18:22]–[19:57])

• Chris explains how he navigates telling clients their "inspiration" styles may not suit them, bringing honesty but also adaptation.
• He divides clients by approach: Whisper (subtle, safe), Talk (moderate changes), Scream (bold)—and draws parallels to different types of daters or friends seeking advice.

6. Family, Co-Parenting, and Coming Out ([21:02]–[24:09])

• Chris reflects on his enduring positive relationship with his ex, Kate, and how the breakup and his coming out were related but not directly causal.
• Open conversation with his adult children is a hallmark of Chris’s family life.

7. Public vs. Private Life; Navigating Public Scrutiny ([24:09]–[25:42])

• Chris discusses the surreal experience of moving from private life to marrying on television, dealing with public opinion, and why only his own narrative matters.

Notable Quote:
"People are always going to add their own stories, but the narrative that matters is the one you live."
– Chris Appleton ([24:40])

8. Dating After Coming Out—Intentions and Selectivity ([25:42]–[30:45])

• Chris is now single by choice and more selective, having learned from patterns of trying to “fix” partners.
• Dating Apps & DMs: He uses both, but is more intentional and values stability and peace over intensity.
• Mature Dating: He draws the analogy of buying homes—learning what really matters, applying life lessons each time you start anew.

Notable Quote:
"I’m just not really interested now in intensity. I’m more interested in stability. Passion is great, but peace is essential."
– Chris Appleton ([28:24])

9. Co-Parenting & Kids' Role in Dating ([30:45]–[32:12])

• Chris’s children (now adults) are candid and often weigh in on his love life; he values the openness and believes being a young dad enhances their relationship.
• He purposely shields his kids from casual partners.

10. Advice Segment: Navigating Open Relationships ([33:18]–[41:00])

• Listener Email: A 26-year-old gay man in an open relationship develops feelings for a hookup, conflicting with agreed boundaries.
• Chris advises honesty, respectful communication, and confronting issues before they fester:

  "If you truly love your partner, you should be able to sit down and have a conversation… I would say, face it, do it before the trip. Get it out." ([36:33])

• Jared and Jordana highlight that you can’t legislate away human feelings and that relationship rules should evolve as people do.

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "Everyone always asks how much I charge. I’ve charged everything from, you know, a hundred dollars back in the day to skip money...$100K...but don’t forget, then you get taxed 50%..."
  – Chris Appleton ([02:08]–[02:55])

• "A lot of people say, 'I want to look like J.Lo, but I don’t look like J.Lo.' It’s not about that. This is how you can look and feel your best."
  – Chris Appleton ([05:13])

• "I never actually stopped and looked at myself in the mirror and saw who I was. Was that fully for me or because I was trying to do what was normal?"
  – Chris Appleton ([09:23])

• "If your hairdresser says to you, 'What are we doing today? Same as usual?' you should get up and leave."
  – Chris Appleton ([12:39])

• "Passion is great, but peace is essential."
  – Chris Appleton ([28:24])

• "You become allergic to the things that are not good for you. ...If you’re not learning, what are you doing?"
  – Chris Appleton ([29:55])

Important Segment Timestamps

• Intro & Chris’s Career: [00:02]–[03:50]
• Book Discussion & Self-Image: [03:50]–[08:30]
• Chris’s Coming-Out Journey: [08:30]–[12:30]
• Breaking Limiting Beliefs: [12:30]–[14:50]
• Salon as a Safe Space: [14:50]–[18:22]
• Honest Feedback and Advice: [18:22]–[21:02]
• Family & Co-Parenting: [21:02]–[24:09]
• Public Scrutiny: [24:09]–[25:42]
• Dating After Coming Out: [25:42]–[30:45]
• Kids and Dating: [30:45]–[32:12]
• Advice Segment (Open Relationships): [33:18]–[41:00]

Tone and Takeaways

The episode mixes humor, candor, and vulnerability; Chris’s British charm plays off the hosts’ comedic energy. The discussion is honest and easygoing, yet punctuated with real insight about personal growth, authenticity, love, and the power of seeing oneself clearly—whether in the salon chair or in life.

Listeners are left encouraged to:

• Challenge self-imposed limits (in hair, style, or relationships)
• Value honest self-examination and authentic living
• Reassess relationship boundaries and communicate with partners
• Recognize it’s never too late for meaningful change

Final Memorable Moment

"It’s never too late to make a comeback. ...If Kris Jenner has anything to go by—it’s never too late."
– Chris Appleton ([43:22])