Five Dates, No Kiss. Now What?

Summary

U Up? Podcast Summary

Episode: Five Dates, No Kiss. Now What?
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: July 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of U Up? is a mix of rapid-fire dating advice and lively banter between hosts Jordana and Jared. They kick things off with a hot take on the rumored Taylor Swift wedding chaos in New York, transition through a sponsored "hall pass" discussion, and then respond to listener-submitted dating dilemmas—ranging from first-date reflection, exclusivity timing, breakup etiquette, conflict resolution, and of course, the titular “Five Dates, No Kiss” question.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Taylor Swift’s MSG Wedding Rant

Timestamps: 00:33–19:11

• Main Topic: The hosts vent about NYC commutes disrupted by Taylor Swift’s alleged extravagant wedding at Madison Square Garden.
• Themes:
  • Inconvenience of celebrities disrupting everyday life.
  • The psychology and spectacle of mega-weddings.
  • Public reactions: Wondering if Taylor is out of touch, and how the ultra-wealthy make the city their playground (cf. “using NYC as a Monopoly board”).
  • Age and gender dynamics in critiquing celebrity culture; generational views on weddings.

Notable Quotes:

• Jared: “Why should I be inconvenienced by a wedding I’m not invited to?” (01:09)
• Jordana: “No matter how much money you have, your wedding is never going quite the way you want it.” (02:03)
• Jared: “This is all like the billionaires separating themselves, the Ultra...using New York City as if it’s a Monopoly board.” (10:41, 10:44)
• Jordana: “It’s women of a certain age that are irritated. The ones questioning.” (06:10)
• Jared: “[Taylor] has an audience of American Idol idiots that will cheer her every move and also boo anyone who brings reality.” (09:23)
• Audience member (Joe, mega-fan): “Oh, I think it’s atrocious.” (17:38)
• Jordana: “This might be the beginning of her downfall. We’ll see.” (18:12)

Memorable Moment: Jared compares Taylor Swift to being in the “Mike Tyson Zone”—nothing would surprise him anymore about her. (15:06–15:19)

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2. Hall Pass Debate / Celebrity Crushes

Timestamps: 23:32–36:32

• Segment Tie-in: Sponsored by the film “Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass.”
• Main points:
  • The realism and psychological function of "hall pass" conversations in relationships.
  • How attainable crushes shake up the fantasy (Jared: “I’m not a good hall pass—I’m too real.” 25:27)
  • Both hosts share their “Safety,” “Reach,” and “Wild Card” celebrity crushes (Jordana: Brendan Fraser, John Krasinski; Jared: Bebe Rexha, Ashley Graham, Emmanuel Chriqui).

Quotes:

• Jordana: “If he meets them, he can actually have sex with them. If that’s just the one night thing.” (28:59)
• Jared: “Meeting the hall pass, you get to see what type of confident person your partner is.” (29:19)

Fun Moment: Jared jokes about Jewish men and their universal crush on Emmanuel Chriqui. (34:36)

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3. Rapid-Fire Listener Dating Questions

Timestamps: 36:56–78:58

a. Questions to Reflect on After a First Date (37:06–41:21)

• Keep it simple: Did I have fun? Would I like to see them again? Am I attracted?
• Do NOT overanalyze (“Could I marry this person?” or “Will they text me?”).
• Practical idea: Write an email or diary entry the next day describing the date and see how you feel.

b. Exclusivity Talk Timing (42:09–44:23)

• Have the conversation when you want exclusivity, not on someone else’s timeline.
• Don't assume exclusivity—express your status directly.
• “Dating is an alone sport. It is not we, it is me.” (42:36, Jared)

c. Who Should/Shouldn’t Send Holiday Cards? (44:36–49:59)

• All for more people sending holiday cards, but acknowledges societal judgment if you send one as a non-married/no-kids couple.
• Cards are seen as both vulnerable and a form of social marketing.

d. Breaking Up: When Is Text No Longer Enough? (51:06–53:47)

• Around 6 dates (especially with sex), a text should be only to initiate a conversation—not the breakup itself.
• Voice note breakups suggested to avoid screenshotting and allow for tone.

e. Fighting & Conflict Repair (53:49–60:02)

• “Don’t go to bed angry” is overrated; sometimes a pause helps people soften.
• Come back after space and mention something you appreciate about the person before airing grievances.
• Jared: “I get more annoying in a fight…I’m looking to get a laugh, like a blade of grass through concrete.” (57:24–57:41)

f. Leaving a Date Early—Is “Overstimulated” Okay? (61:09–64:24)

• Any reason is valid to leave early, but don’t use “overstimulated”—it feels like faux self-victimization.
• Jared: “I would just lie. ‘I have to wake up early’ is a great one.” (64:10)
• Just don’t order another drink—body language speaks volumes.

g. My Single Friends Don’t Ask About My Boyfriend (64:26–66:49)

• Hosts find the complaint annoying; possible reasons: jealousy, dislike, disinterest, or simply different priorities.
• Jared: “You are inherently more boring in a relationship than you are single.” (65:36)
• Jordana: “It’s the same with the boyfriend as with kids—when you’re not in it you just, you don’t really care.” (65:49)

h. Different Political Views in a Relationship (67:17–74:17)

• Labels (liberal, conservative, moderate) are subjective and heavily shaped by family and culture.
• Real question: How do you talk about disagreements?
• Jared: “Do you want to win or do you want to talk?” (70:54)
• Emphasis on understanding each others’ list of priorities, not getting bogged down in labels.

i. Five Dates, No Kiss—How to Initiate? (74:19–78:58)

• After five dates, it’s safe to assume your date would not be offended by a kiss attempt.
• Start with light, non-verbal cues: hand or leg touch, small of the back, leaning in.
• Choose an environment conducive to intimacy; sometimes just need a “runway” to a kiss.
• Jared’s tip: “Date ends, take a walk, touch the small of their back at the street corner, and go in for the kiss—then the crosswalk gives you a timed kiss out.” (77:40)

Quote:

• Jordana: “If someone shows up five times, I would assume they want something there.” (75:43)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “She’s too big to fail.” (18:09, Jared on Taylor Swift)
• “Dating is an alone sport. It is not we, it is me.” (42:36, Jared)
• “If you haven’t kissed after five dates, go in for it—the only thing weird is NOT making a move.” (75:43, Jordana)

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Tone & Style

The hosts maintain the show’s signature blend of candid, comedic, and practical. They interrupt each other with playful jabs, tease Millennial dating culture, and aren’t afraid to call out listener submissions that strike them as ‘annoying’ or self-absorbed. Their advice, while witty, is grounded in common sense and empathy.

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For the Dating Playbook

• After a first date, ask yourself simple questions (Did I have fun? Would I go again? Am I attracted?).
• Don’t delay breakups; six dates or more (especially after sex) deserve more than a text.
• Express exclusivity when you want it, not based on rules.
• Big gestures (like holiday cards) are fine, just be ready for some side-eye if you’re not following “typical” trajectories.
• Don’t overthink the first kiss—after five dates, just go for it! But set the scene and read cues.
• “Overstimulated” is not a get-out-of-jail-free card—just leave politely.
• Political differences can be worked out if you want to talk, not win.
• If your friends aren’t asking about your boyfriend, they probably just don’t care – don’t take it personally.

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Time-Stamped Segment Guide

• 00:33–19:11: Taylor Swift’s MSG wedding, NYC chaos, cultural analysis
• 23:32–36:32: “Hall Pass” celebrity crushes and relationship hypotheticals
• 37:06–41:21: Post-first-date reflection
• 42:09–44:23: Exclusivity talk: when, why, and how
• 44:36–49:59: Holiday cards—who should send
• 51:06–53:47: Breaking up: when text isn’t enough
• 53:49–60:02: Conflict resolution and the “go to bed angry” debate
• 61:09–64:24: Leaving a date early: strategies and social scripts
• 64:26–66:49: Friendship, curiosity, and single vs. coupled priorities
• 67:17–74:17: Navigating political differences
• 74:19–78:58: The titular “Five Dates, No Kiss”—how to finally make that move

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In Conclusion

U Up?’s summer “Lightning Round” episode is a masterclass in merging irreverent humor with actionable dating advice. Whether you’re wondering how to break the ice (or the dry streak), discuss exclusivity, or just navigate awkward social terrain, Jordana and Jared keep it real—sometimes a little too real for the thin-skinned. For those in the thick of modern dating, it’s a refreshing, relatable, and laugh-out-loud guide through the minefields of romance.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, it's Christy from Lululemon, and I'm here at the office checking out the Shake it out shorts. These have been my go tos, and I kind of think of them as a middle ground between a true run short and a more playful, athletic, sporty short. They have all the performance you want for running, so a comfy liner, our lightweight Swift fabric, even a pocket for your keys. But what I really like is the flowy fit and layered hem. It gives it a little bit of volume, a little bit of fun, so they feel as good on a run as they do just at coffee afterwards. You can find the Shake it out shorts in store now or [e-mail] Foreign

[B]

welcome back to the UF Podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[C]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? How you feeling?

[B]

I'm feeling very irritated with Taylor Swift.

[C]

Oh, have ass.

[B]

I'm starting. I. Well, I went, I. I came. I come in through Grand Central and I went home yesterday through Madison Square Garden.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I mean, she must be getting married. They're doing a ton of, like, there's, like, people doing there.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And they closed off multiple entrances into Penn Station. And I'm getting, like, annoyed. I'm like, I. Why should I be inconvenienced by a wedding I'm not invited to?

[C]

This is what starts the uprising by us Spores.

[B]

Seriously, this is a little bit. She is building a castle inside of msg.

[C]

Is that.

[B]

That is what I saw that the New York Post has posted from that angle.

[C]

It's like when a protest gets in the way of the highway and you're like, whatever you're protesting, I'm against.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, you didn't help your cause. Like, I don't want.

[B]

You're making me angrier at you.

[C]

Whatever you're against, I'm. I'm on the other side.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You have ruined my day getting to work. This didn't help you.

[B]

And I just don't know what she was thinking. Like, what are you thinking? Apparently, they, they, apparently they made the stairs to MSG a red carpet and then removed it the same the same day a few hours later because it went out too early. Which goes to show you, no matter how much money you have, your. Your wedding is never going quite, quite

[C]

the way you want it to go.

[B]

Yes. They put out the red carpet on MSG too early.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Blocking the stairs that I use to get into the pen station, you know,

[C]

like, when you, like, taste something and you're like, senses go off.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Making, like my brain, like, the synapses, like, I'm. I'm having all these thoughts because I'm like, man, this is like a. A mirror to society too, right? Like her wedding. Like. Like when you go to a wedding with someone who's like, I don't care about, it's my wedding. You're like, wow, I guess this is how you see your friendships. This is how you see your family. This is how you see yourself when Taylor does this. This is how she sees America.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. That's like, we are like, you know, we're parasocial relationship with her. I'm like, you are revealing your true self. And Travis, what the fuck are you two thinking, right? Get married on an island away from all of us.

[C]

Right?

[B]

We don't need this.

[C]

And we brought this up last year.

[B]

You could show that you could make this huge, stupid, like, tacky wedding Disney World.

[C]

It's like, why do you need this? Why do you. And why do you care so. And it's like, I can. I could bring you, like, some person that is the most. Like. Like, what we could do is we could go to MSG and we could find like a business owner or like a guy who's like, I've had to work 30,000 hours this week thanks to Taylor. And we could show everyone, like, look what she's doing to people. Like, we could make her into this evil monster who's getting married. But it's like, your day getting ruined is like, she doesn't give a shit. No, like, that's like your day getting ruined bothers me more in a way because it's like the everyday Jim and Joe. She just is like. Like, she'll give a million dollars to the guy that we show shivering because Taylor's getting paid. He'll get. He'll get something from her. She'll like, be like, oh, I gave his GoFundMe a billion. Now will you shut up? And it's like, no, we. We have to change our. Our commute. Like, this is something.

[B]

Give money to the city of New York.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're not even from here, right?

[C]

You're not from here.

[B]

This is a major holiday weekend. People are using Penn Station to go out east.

[C]

Well, and the thing is, she never has to answer to it.

[B]

No. Who is she going to answer?

[C]

Well, there's no. There's no press conference. Like, it's not like she comes out at the end, is like, hey, everybody was a great wedding. Now I'll take questions from the reporters. And then there's no reporter from the Times being like, taylor, you really seem to get in people's way.

[B]

At least Trump has to. Has to do that. Right?

[C]

At least Trump has to sit up there and we get to hear the person who. He's not answering.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Like, I want one reporter. Like, if anything, if there's a, if there's, you know, they have those guys that, like, show. You know, there was that guy who famously showed up to schools that weren't schools in Minneapolis. It was a real political moment where they were, they were saying it was like the refugee schools or whatever it was. He was just showing up. We need a TikTok or Gen Z who doesn't need money.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or whose tiktoker could make some money. Just show up to Taylor and every five seconds, why did you do this?

[B]

I need to know.

[C]

Right?

[B]

I, I need to know.

[C]

Many people. Here's the thing.

[B]

Had to agree to this plan.

[C]

Well, had to agree, but all. But they're getting paid. You know, why?

[B]

She probably has 30,000 people employed to do this.

[C]

Why, why does the, you know, why does the king form an army? Well, he can feed the army. You know, she's so, like, why do people sign up for the king's army? Like, oh, he's paying me. Gave me some land.

[B]

Someone commented on one of the, the articles that I was reading, like, this makes, like, the Bezos wedding look, like, pretty chill.

[C]

Oh, the Bezos wedding is like, thank you. Thank you for, thank you for going out and see.

[B]

I mean, Venice probably.

[C]

Well, I, I, I. It is interesting to me, and this is just some feedback. It is interesting to me that it's women of a certain age that are

[B]

irritated, that are irritated.

[C]

The ones questioning. I just saw Juliet Lippman on her podcast. I saw her clip. It was like, what's she doing? It's a certain age group, like, that has had the wedding.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Has gone through it. Like, and my buddy once told me this.

[B]

That is interesting psychologically.

[C]

Well, psychologically, if you think about. My buddy told me this. He was like, my wife, who is totally. I, this is my good friend, and I, I agree with him. His wife is not the wedding type. He was like. But it consumes them all. He was like, leading into the wedding, she was just like, in this fog of bride mode.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And he's like. And then we got out of the wedding, and it was like, she shook and she was back. And I think Taylor is probably in that mode. And it's kind of like, you know, you know, ultimate power, ultimate corruption.

[B]

You know, it's hurt probably in few like on steroids. The regular bride. Give the regular bride like a billion dollars.

[C]

Right? Well that's the thing. You wouldn't give a billion. There's a lot of brides that you'd meet. Like I'd, after seeing you as a bride, I'd let you have a billion dollars to have your wedding because I thought you handled it well.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

You know, I, but there's other brides I've met who, who should not you. You would never get that much power. Right. They should, they, they should be limited.

[B]

We're finding out who Taylor really is.

[C]

Right? And like, you know, it's like, I

[B]

mean, she better be getting married there tomorrow or else this whole episode's going to be very, very, very weird.

[C]

Well, and then she also has this army of people who will defend her no matter what she does.

[B]

Like, I think even those people are like, what's going on here?

[C]

It's women above a certain age who have already got like, who are all.

[B]

Who we are.

[C]

We are the most do this. It, it. That's the question, the consistent question.

[B]

What was her thought? What were you thinking?

[C]

Why you could have just done.

[B]

I feel like maybe this was Travis's idea.

[C]

He is classically dumb, right? Like he's like classic.

[B]

I could see him thinking this was really cool.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Like this would be really cool.

[C]

Yeah. I, I don't know why he would want this. I, I cuz he's like, well, you go along. I know but like he's like, oh,

[B]

Sylvester Stallone did it.

[C]

Like cool. The Stallone angle is pretty cool. Sylvester Stallone is the previous generations, the Rock.

[B]

They do something as all American.

[C]

Yeah. So MSG's all American. Do it.

[B]

I guess sports like a July 4th weekend.

[C]

Like, yeah, it's hateable. That's the thing. Like why be.

[B]

I'm glad it's gonna be 100 degrees here.

[C]

I've defended Taylor so much because yeah,

[B]

I mean I like Taylor Swift's music. She's very talented artist.

[C]

Her audience. I would compare to the audience that used to go to American Idol. Like they are, remember American Idol? There'd be like the audience and it was all like teenage girls that would like cheer if someone was just pretty and fun. And then Simon would go, I don't think he got it. And then they would boo Simon.

[B]

Right?

[C]

And I'm like, you're booing. The only reality in the room.

[B]

Right. I think we talked about.

[C]

We've talked about this. Taylor has an audience of American Idol idiots that will cheer her every move and also boo anyone who brings reality.

[B]

I'm prepared. I'm prepared to be came for. Although I will say the comments on a lot of these articles, I haven't seen that many who think this is a great idea.

[C]

It would be. That's why. That's why I'm comparing them to the idiots in the crowd of American Idol. Like, how do you defend this one

[B]

who thinks you have to a good idea.

[C]

Right. You have to just have unbridled. Just.

[B]

Right.

[C]

I believe in everything Taylor does because she. But she's commoditized all her. Her love life. So why would this be any different?

[B]

That's true. Why would she do something like, private and intimate?

[C]

Right.

[B]

That's not.

[C]

Every breakup has been turned into content. Every breakup, every relationship.

[B]

That. That's what I do.

[C]

Right. That's fair.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I wonder what the last straw is from kind of the rich. Like, this is like. And. And the rich. Like, we're two people doing well. Like, but we're. To me, this is all like the billionaires separating themselves, like the Ultra.

[B]

The 1% of the 1%.

[C]

Right. The idea that you're using New York City as if it's a monopoly board.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Is like totally crazy.

[B]

That's the irritating part.

[C]

Right. Right. Like, there's no limitation.

[B]

You're famous and. And popular and big enough that no one will care that you're disrupting five million people's day.

[C]

So I have a sim. I have a story that on this subject, I was at the comedy seller last night, and there's a huge crowd outside. I had. I. You know, we did our shows here and then at night, I went and did a 1040, 1110, and my last spot was 1150 at the Cell.

[B]

What time do you wake up?

[C]

I woke up this morning at 8. I got home at 1.

[B]

That's fair.

[C]

Yeah. I went right to bed. I have. I'm pretty good when I'm here. I put that kepi down. I'm ready to go. So I. There's a huge crowd outside the cellar. And who's out there? Mike Tyson. Oh, Mike Tyson is like a.

[B]

As. Like a performer or as a.

[C]

He's like, going into the cellar and I'm like, whoa, that's. That's a new one. Like, I've seen celebrities there before. And he's outside and they're like, trying to get him in. But, like, there's A whole crowd around him, but he's got also, like, his, like, crew is there with him, and there's a lot of commotion, and I'm like, what's going on? And my buddy was like, yeah, his friend wants to go on stage. And. And you're like, what?

[B]

Is that how this works?

[C]

Well, this is Taylor, give me msg. Everyone, you know, like, do you know who I am? Right? Do you know?

[B]

I.

[C]

And. And not just Mike. It's not. Mike Tyson wants to go on stage, which I actually. I would. Would happen, I'm sure, because that I think the audience would, like, that's where. That's like, what? Yeah, I was at the Cellar. Mike Tyson.

[B]

Mike Tyson's friend.

[C]

Mike Tyson's friend kept begging to go on stage, and he's like, I want to do five. And they could smell the alcohol. Like, like, like the manager was like, no, we're not doing this.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And so then they go into the showroom, and I'm second on the show. So it's host first, the first spot, and then. And then I'm.

[A]

You.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it was host one spot, then me. So I'm third on the show. Host goes on, and he comes off. He's like, they wouldn't shut the up. Like, Tyson's group is. They were in the corner, and they're, like, talking loudly. And, like, they're telling them, hey, guys. Like, you know, they're doing. They're treating them as if they're anyone else in the audience. First guy goes up and he's on stage. And, like, one of the waiters comes upstairs. Like, Tyson. Like, he is not laughing at anything Stone face. And they keep talking about having the friend go up.

[B]

What's he doing there?

[C]

Sometimes if you want to go on stage, then that's a different perspective. But he didn't want to go to the show. Yeah, but he might, maybe. So then I go downstairs and I'm, like, watching the next. And he's doing great, but Tyson's table just chit chatting loudly. And then they go. And then the host goes on. He, like, tries to get. And the whole audience, half the audience is, like, looking back. They're like. Because he's now. No, everyone knows spectacle. Yeah, it's a spectacle. So then I go on stage. I'm like, hey, everybody. All of a sudden, Mike Tyson's whole table of 10 people stand up and walk out of the room as if they saw me. And they were like, that guy. Nope. Walk out. They go outside, and he's still asking to Go on stage and they were like. Like the friend when they were outside, right? And they said that it was, like, a little bit weird. And so then they left. So now, like, you would think Mike

[B]

Tyson's been famous for long enough where he. Where he would feel weird about that whole thing.

[C]

Yeah. I think he's Mike Tyson for a reason. I think, like, I mean, this guy, he's done some horrific things. Like there.

[B]

I mean, is he the one with the ear?

[C]

He bit the ear.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I just can't. It was the whole thing. I can believe Mike Tyson. You know, there was.

[B]

Celebrity really is very bad for you, man.

[C]

Celebrity is bad for you. But there was a whole thing, you know, Bill Simmons calls it the Mike Tyson zone. Bill Simmons who? Podcaster, writer. I'm a huge Bill Simmons guy. The ringer. He. He had a thing called the Mike Tyson zone, where anything you hear about someone, like, if someone goes to, like, Charlie Sheen was in the Mike Tyson zone.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

There was a point in. In history where you go, anything I heard about them, you go, of course.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You know, so. No, but this is. I mean, to me, it's also maybe. Well, to bring it back. Taylor Swift is in the Mike Tyson zone.

[B]

That's true. There is not one thing she touches which won't be talked about.

[C]

But also, there's nothing. Nothing that would surprise me about her.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

That, like, oh, you just told me she's going to build a castle inside of msg. And I was like, cool, sure.

[B]

Right, right.

[C]

Like, of course she is.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Like, anything. Any explanation? My. My theory is she's making a documentary that's weird, which we would hate, but would do well.

[B]

But I feel like public wouldn't be

[C]

that into it if she livestream.

[B]

Oh, so everyone can attend the wedding. So she's like, oh, I've made it your problem, but at least you're invited.

[C]

It's gross. But we watch. Like, we.

[B]

You know, I would watch. I would be angry, but I would watch.

[C]

Right? But I wouldn't. It doesn't make her more likable.

[B]

But covet Zoom wedding is Right.

[C]

But is likability just not. You know, this is a different podcast at this point.

[B]

Right?

[C]

But, like, what's likability worth these days? You know, listen, I've watched some comedy specials where it's so dog bad, and. But they're just saying horrific things, right?

[B]

And you get attention and people go,

[C]

you got to see how bad this is. That's why people are watching the special. You got to see how Bad this is. And I'm like, and then it's trending for how bad it is. And then people defend the bad thing because you just have to take the other side. There are just people out there who want to take the other side to be heard just so they can be listened to. So they take the bad side of an argument.

[B]

It's a weird time to be alive. I hate it.

[C]

It's. It's. It's a hateful time. I mean, I say it on stage in reference to. I have a special coming. Not to make this about me, but I always say to people, I'm like, just turn. You know, the special I'm proud of. And we've talked about how much you like, and I really appreciate it, and it's a. A joint venture from us, but I always say on stage, when I'm on the road, I'm like, hey, I have. You guys. You guys are great. I love this audience. The people listening right now. The people watching. My request is to. The minute it comes out, turn it on and let it run.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Like, I don't even care if you watch. I need. Just need the views. I need the views so that someone like you. Like what? I want someone who loves this show because I love the people who love the show. I want to find the you in another town.

[B]

More of them. Yeah.

[C]

And that's what the algorithm promises, but I, you know, it's. It's the frustration of putting out how the world works, how the world goes right now.

[B]

Before we move on from Taylor Swift, I just want to ask Joe, because I know you are an intense Taylor Swift fan. Right. What are your thoughts on the MSG wedding?

[C]

Oh, I think it's atrocious. Okay.

[B]

Even the mega fans.

[C]

Not.

[B]

Not the top fan of all time.

[C]

But what's the defense? Is there any defense speak for the Swifties? You're inconveniencing working class people.

[B]

Right. When you don't need to.

[C]

Inconveniencing a woman with her own mansion.

[B]

Thank you, Jared.

[C]

Well, no, but I think people music.

[B]

Yes, right, of course.

[C]

Well, that's the thing. It's. It's too big to. Too big to fail.

[B]

Okay, Right.

[A]

You agree.

[B]

You're irritated too.

[C]

But she's too big to fail. Yeah, like this.

[B]

That's why she.

[C]

This is Enron.

[B]

This might be the beginning of her downfall. We'll see.

[C]

We can. I don't. I don't hope for her down.

[B]

No, not at all. She has great music. I hope she keeps making it.

[C]

I would love. I I would love a press conference.

[B]

Same.

[C]

I think we all deserve that.

[B]

Demand a press conference.

[C]

Just a one honest moment. Right. But this is the thing you can hire right now. We live in a time where, if you're rich enough, you hire your own camera crew and you make your own documentary to answer it the way you want to answer it. There's no honesty there. Like, there's no. I want an investigative reporter. I want those two people that went to the White House. What, Swan? And. And the two that. They just wrote the book about. Trump undercover. Yeah, they were on, like, every show last week.

[B]

Yeah. I want an undercover person at the wedding. Someone who works there. Right. They probably me at the wedding.

[C]

Listen to my wedding.

[B]

A lot of NDAs that are very ironclad.

[C]

Oh, I would. I would be talking about every appetizer.

[B]

All right, we're gonna get into our questions, but before we do, buy Jared's book. I went to plug City Dr. Jamie Glick, my dermatologist, yesterday.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And one of the first things she said to me was, you looked hard. No, she said.

[C]

She said, I let me take care of those. Those rings.

[B]

I got. I got my arm. I got my blood from my arm put into my face. One of the first things that Dr. Glick said to me was, I read Jared's book. It was excellent.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yes. Unprompted.

[C]

Unprompted. And I will say this about Dr. Jamie Glick and her friends. Not an easy compliment.

[B]

Not an easy crowd.

[C]

Not an easy crowd.

[B]

She's not. She's like. One of the things I like about her as a dermatologist is she is very. No, bullshit.

[C]

No, no bullshit. I mean, she was. You can go back and listen to her episode. She was great on this show. I am an easy compliment, so. No, but I appreciate. That's nice to hear. Listen. Hearing back from women, enjoying the book is my greatest pleasure. Like, I didn't write a book to.

[B]

No one has done more for women than nobody.

[C]

I believe that. I. I'm just. I didn't write the book to make women happy. I wrote it to be honest. For women.

[B]

We need.

[C]

Right. And that.

[B]

And someone who's not trying to have sex with us, who will tell it to us like it is.

[C]

I can't. You through a book.

[B]

There you go. So.

[C]

So I, I. That's the. That's actually the merch for the book. No, it was my great pleasure. I talked about this during the book. Talk about starting this with B's.

[B]

This.

[C]

This podcast and how amazing the feedback was. Right. Away. Refreshing.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because I remember when we started this show I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to hear back from.

[B]

No. People want that.

[C]

No, this is what people wanted. It was, it was a surprise to me. But we're gonna do that today. We're gonna do some rapid fire questions. This is our summer rapid fire episode.

[B]

Lightning round.

[C]

Lightning round. We do some quick ones. I come up with some stupid ideas for every answer.

[A]

And.

[C]

And we want you to share and

[B]

these are submitted on the U up Instagram. If you're not following that, follow that for you.

[C]

More of these podcast our wonderfully branded name. But also it's just this is a shareable episode. There might be one question here that you've already talked about with a friend. Share that you can go on Spotify and share the minute that you want someone to start from. I'm cool with that. That I consider that like the most amazing form of payment for this show that we put out. I would love for you to do that. So share. Share. Share. We just talked about your father algorithm and how horrific this reality is. We want you to. Let's create our own algorithm. Share. I'm also on the road. I am going to be in. What's the date of this? The 15th. Holy shit. Summer's over.

[B]

No, don't be like those people with like the back to school.

[C]

You're right.

[B]

In July.

[C]

You're right. No, no, no. I don't mean to. Red Bank, New Jersey tomorrow night I'm gonna be in Red Bank. I'm gonna be at Foxwoods. I'm gonna be Portland, Maine and Huntington, Long Island. I'm. I'm adding more dates. I'm waiting on more dates. Jared free.com.

[A]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move. Another smart move getting help from one of State Farm's 19000 local agents. When you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[C]

Do you hear that? Sounds like breakfast is ready. Because Quakers coming in hot with morning nutrition 100% whole grain oats and a good source of fiber to few fuel the rhythm of your morning and kick start your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start Whatever's next. Quaker Official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26. Let's go. Coming to you from our home setup for this special segment. This Next segment is presented by the film Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. What a title.

[B]

So.

[C]

So of course we're talking hall passes. Jordana, what do you think?

[B]

I am so excited. The premise of this movie is hilarious. Gail Daughtry discovers her fiance took their hall pass agreement literally when she walks in on him having sex with another woman. So she has to settle the score. How else? By tracking down her hall pass, who just happens to be Jon Ham, and having sex with him.

[C]

I've always thought a hall pass was some sort of hypothetical, but it sounds like in this movie they're just going for it.

[B]

Yes. I mean, what is your take on hall passes? Do you have a hall pass? Does Emily have a hall pass? What is. What is your. What is your hall pass thought? I mean, you're kind of like, I would say you're in the celebrity world. Like, you've met many celebrities. So I. You meet a lot of famous people that you opened for.

[C]

I've opened for Jon Stewart.

[B]

You've met many celebrities, I'm sure throughout your day. I feel like it's a little different for you because, like, could hypothetically meet a lot of people.

[C]

I have many thoughts on a hall pass. Let me just say that I watched the trailer for this movie and it looks awesome. It's from the people who made Wet Hot American Summer. It is. The only way a movie about hall passes could kind of like get me is to be like, kind of wacky, which this movie looks like, you know, Definitely.

[B]

I mean, the concept is wacky. Yes.

[C]

Well, here's the thing. If a hall pass to me, I look down on a couple that has a actual hall pass agreement in any way where they've like, I. And I've had it said to me after shows and it's the most uncomfortable thing in the world.

[B]

What said?

[C]

I'll take a picture with a couple and they'll be like, you're all pass. And I'm like. And you. Weirdly, you're like, you feel like you have to have sex with them now. Like, you feel like you're like, well,

[B]

that's why you're not. You're not a good hall pass. Cuz you're like, also, you're not so famous that you're unattainable and they're never

[C]

going to meet you as I am on this podcast. I'm too real. Yeah, that's. I'm too realistic. Well, that's the, the, the premise of this movie seems to be the premise of a joke. I've seen many comedians do. This is a joke I've seen before where. Oh, my wife and I, we have a hall pass and she says she wants to. Hers is Brad Pitt and mine is the cashier at the grocery store down the street. Like, it's an old joke. So, like, it is interesting. Me, Like, I just. The whole conversation is weirder now too, because you can follow celebrities on social media. So, like, the minute you say I think it ruins a relationship, really.

[B]

I think it's fun.

[C]

Really? What do you think?

[B]

I think it's fun because it's so unlikely and like, it feels like a safe adventure just even talking, talking about it. Because, like, it's so unlikely. And honestly, like, I do think the longer you've been together, you're kind of like, if you got your shot, like, good for you. If you got your shot. And it was there and like, it was just that one night and that was it. I think there is a sense of like, okay, I'm happy for you.

[C]

I'm too much. And that was it.

[B]

No contact.

[C]

I'm in the honeymoon phase. Maybe that's the.

[B]

You're two in the honeymoon.

[C]

That might be the delineation between honeymoon phase and non honeymoon phase is. Can you handle the hall pass conversation?

[B]

Yes. Agreed.

[C]

See, we're gonna do safety, reach and wild card. Okay. And I don't even like describing the hall pass as safety, reach and wild card.

[B]

The safety part feels like very self aggrandizing. Like no one is. Yes, absolutely. No one is a sure thing.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

But hypothetically, the easiest of the three to. To obtain. It's all relative. It's all relative.

[C]

Like the easiest. I. You go first. I want to hear your safety. Let me hear your safety. Who's the one that you think would be lucky to have you?

[B]

I think Jon Ham's a great. A great one.

[C]

John Ham's a great one because he's classically beautiful. He's classically handsome. He even looks it in the trailer. They even like, it seems like he has a shine on him the way they show him in the trailer.

[B]

Well, I'm gonna share mine and then I'm gonna share Mike. So I'll share both of our. Our safeties are.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Somewhat attainables. And then what was the last category? It was the reach.

[C]

The Reach. Who would. Who would be disgusted by this the most?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All right.

[B]

So for our safeties. And again, I use that term very self. Like, knowing that no one is a safety. Mine would be Brendan Frazier currently.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, right. Right. Now, current Brendan Frazier. Okay, I get it.

[B]

If he's single, I. I think I could probably make it happen. I don't know again, right.

[C]

You could be. You're a wealthy CEO, you could be at a hotel bar. Fraser is on his way through a. Yeah. You seduce him. He's on a press tour of some sort. You're both at like a nice hotel. I could see him going. Yeah, of course, you know, this is all, why not? Yeah, I can see it. Why not?

[B]

One night only. Okay. So he's my safety. Mike's safety. I had him write this list and then I, like, asked him again this morning to give it to me.

[C]

This is so bad for men. No man can say their hall pass because then they have to unfollow them on social media.

[B]

I don't. He could follow them.

[C]

He can follow them.

[B]

I'm very secure in my relationship. He could follow them. If he meets them, he can actually have sex with them. If that's just the one night thing.

[C]

That's the thing about a hall pass too. I. That I think is very funny is like meeting the hall pass. You get to see what type of confident person your partner is. Because, like,

[B]

I'm saying there's no way he's.

[C]

That's gonna. I know there's no way, but that's the whole point is like, it's funny because, you know, he's not going to. And also, like, that he has no chance. Both have to go together.

[B]

He wouldn't really, like, I really don't think.

[C]

Of course, but if he did want. Yeah, but you would watch his. You'd watch his demeanor around this person, knowing this information.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Which would be funny. Like, like, that's the, like, like the fact that you two share this information. And he meets his hall pass and he's like, oh, hello. You know, he's shaking it kind of. It's. It's like kind of funny, you know?

[B]

Of course. Yes.

[C]

Okay, so give me Mike.

[B]

So Mike, safety is m. I didn't even know who this was. Michelle Fitzgerald from Survivor and the Challenge. Mike's big Survivor fan. I don't know who that is. I had to Google her.

[C]

Okay, Michelle Fitzgerald. I'm looking her up right now.

[B]

She's got 176,000 followers on Instagram.

[C]

I can tell you right now. I'm looking at her right now. You were happy about this.

[A]

He's. This.

[B]

This is the safety. The.

[C]

Yeah, but you were happy about this. I mean, she's cute because you guys similar looks, though. Like, this wasn't like, off the radar. This wasn't crazy to you?

[B]

Oh, sure. Yeah. I mean, honestly, even if she looked different, I think I'd be like, all right, Like, I don't know what.

[C]

She follows me. She DM me last week. No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[B]

I'm gonna tell Mike to hit you up.

[C]

Yeah, hit me up.

[B]

That's the safety.

[A]

All right.

[B]

His two others, which were much more out of reach for him. Jamie Lynn Siegler, his former next door neighbor. That was a little close to home. Literally.

[C]

Jamie Lynn Siegler, who played Meadow Soprano. She was Meadow Soprano. That's a lot of people. Yeah.

[B]

Yes. And she grew up next door to him. It was his next door neighbor.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And his reach is Jennifer Aniston.

[C]

Okay, That's a reach. That's. Yeah, that's the. That's the one. Like, and more of a reach just because. Not to, you know, to make Mike feel badly, but it's just she. Who would even be around, like, she feels. I feel like she hangs out on another planet from us humans, you know, like us poors.

[B]

Not a shot in hell. But if you. Again, that's why I'm like, if you meet her. Stars align. Meant to be. Go for it.

[C]

That's one of those. You got to do.

[B]

Yes. And then mine. Okay. We already had Brendan Fraser. He's also kind of the wild card, I would say.

[C]

Yes, a little bit. Wild card.

[B]

And safety.

[C]

And safety.

[B]

Yes. And then I would say my reach would be John Krasinski.

[C]

Okay. Krasinski. Yeah. And he may. Krasinski does feel like he doesn't live amongst us. He. Actually, I saw him outside the benches offices once.

[B]

I know. You told me. And then I went outside and I looked at him and then he looked away. So I don't think it's happening. I think if your hall pass sees you and then immediately looks the other way, it's probably not in the cards for you.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right. And what's yours? Also, Paul Rudd was another contender.

[C]

Okay, that's. So here. Here goes mine. And let's. Let's hope this doesn't end my relationship. It's very new.

[B]

Let's hear it. I think she should give you one. I mean, come on.

[C]

Oh, I know hers. Yeah. Nick Jonas.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

She's. She. Love. She melted. The other day when we were at your house, Nick Jonas came on to play the fireworks display in Nashville. She turned into a different person.

[B]

Yes. Okay. Nick Jonas.

[C]

She also said Ryan Reynolds.

[B]

It's a little more problematic these days.

[C]

I Know Ryan Reynolds that disappointed me,

[B]

I would say two years ago. That would be a great one.

[C]

Well, Nick Jonas, I'm okay with Ryan Reynolds. Worries me a bit. Her range. Him and I could be anything. Yeah, it could be anyone.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

What about yours?

[C]

Here's mine. Okay. So I have to give my safety my regular and your wild card. My. My wild card safety. And it's only because no one knows her. Like, I don't think I could get her. Like, I. I'm not trying to get.

[B]

If no one knows her, can't you more likely get her.

[C]

Well, it's name recognition. Like, it's like her celebrity is. You would know her songs. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[C]

B.B. rexha.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

That's my safety school.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I could see that she's recently gone with a Bob. That really turned me on.

[B]

Okay, you're into it. Okay.

[C]

Well, knowing her haircut makes me sound even creepier. This is not. This is more fun for women, by the way.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

My Ashley Graham is my. Is my reach.

[B]

Yes. Okay. Ashley Graham.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes, I see it.

[C]

You see it, Ashley.

[B]

I see the. I see Emily in her, too. I could see, again, another one where it's like, that's your type.

[C]

Yes, it's a type. Yeah. Okay. And then my wild card outside of my type, Emmanuel Shariki. This is more about the timing of my life. She was his girlfriend in Entourage.

[B]

Yes. Every Jewish guy will say, love, Emmanuel.

[C]

Emmanuel Shariki.

[B]

Yes. Every single Jewish man will say that as they're, like, number one.

[C]

Like, I don't think I've met a

[B]

Jewish guy that didn't, like, have her on his, like, list.

[C]

That's why it's the wild card one where it's like, I know I share that with other Jewish men of a certain age, but it is kind of funny that we, like. It's kind of random, right?

[B]

Yes. Your mother would approve, right? Most of the. Of the. Of this one.

[C]

That's what makes it so hot.

[B]

That's so funny.

[C]

Yeah. This is fun.

[B]

Fun movie.

[C]

It looks great. It looks fun. I like that they, like, are making fun of the concept of a hall pass because it does feel kind of stupid. And anytime I've ever heard it said publicly and out loud, it's always like, a couple that I'm like, is everything okay? What's going. Why are we bringing this up?

[B]

Right. I think it's a. I think a hall pass is, like, the conversation is just. I mean, it's weird, I think, to meet the person. If you can meet the person, it's not a good hall pass. And these people who have met you have actually, right, can meet you. So I think you're not. I think you're not a good hall pass because you are not. So, like, you have a. You have a meet. Meet and greet after every show. Someone wants to meet you. They can make it happen pretty easy, right?

[C]

Maybe. Maybe that's why the conversation was so awkward. It's like, oh, we shouldn't even have met you like this, right? We. That dreams have to be bigger than, you know, you. You got to have dreams that are way bigger than.

[B]

Right. Like in the movie, she has to assemble a whole crew of people and, like, hunt him down, and it becomes, you know, like a whole. That's the whole concept of the movie.

[C]

Right?

[B]

It's very difficult to find Jon Hamm. I'm. I. I need to know if she has sex with him. Well, I've got to watch.

[C]

I. I need to know. I can't wait to see the movie.

[B]

Thanks again to Gail Daughtry and the celebrity sex Pass for sponsoring this episode.

[C]

If you're looking for a truly silly movie that's completely hilarious and, yeah, a little bit sexy, this one is for you. So assemble the group chat and get your tickets to Gail Daughtry and the celebrity Sex Pass in theaters now. Now we're gonna go back to in studio with Jordana I@Baches HQ. Let's do the rapid fire question, and

[B]

we'll do these again. So look out on the Instagram for any kind of prompts for us to do these in the future.

[C]

You want.

[A]

You have a.

[B]

If you have a rapid fire question.

[C]

We love. I love this. Okay, let's go for it.

[B]

Number one, what are the questions you should ask yourself after a first date?

[C]

What do you think? What? I. I like this question.

[B]

Right.

[C]

It is a something that's underrated. It's like everyone's, you know, how do I get to the first day. You're on the first date.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You had a time.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You know that. That's a. Like, a lot of first dates. I. I think we want to get to a first date, but we don't know what we want out of a first date. You know, like.

[B]

Yes. And this is a great question about what you should. How you should categorize a first date.

[C]

Right. How do you talk to yourself after the first. After the first date? I love it. It's a. Because it's not like, what should they have done?

[B]

Right.

[C]

When it's not. That's, like, when you're pointing the finger.

[B]

No, it's about you and how you. The question should be how do you. How about how you feel? Right.

[C]

So what would you suggest to people

[B]

after a first date? I would ask myself, did I have fun? Would be my number one question.

[C]

You and I, same page.

[B]

Did I have a fun night? One would I want to see them again?

[C]

Right. Okay. These all feel stupid and simple, but I think you should keep it simple.

[B]

Stupid. I agree. Because the things. Here's the thing. More things you should not ask yourself. Could I marry this person?

[C]

Right.

[B]

Will they text me?

[C]

Yeah. No, those are, those are like, that is sending you down a rabbit hole of.

[B]

Well, my emotional masturbation.

[C]

Me come and I don't know if I can get over that. You know, like, what if, you know,

[B]

his job is this and I don't know if I like that.

[C]

Right.

[B]

All for date one. You can ask yourself that after date 15.

[C]

Right?

[B]

Date one, did I have fun? Would I like to see them again? Third one, am I attracted?

[C]

And attracted can mean there are like, am I. Was I more turned on?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

From this date or was I.

[B]

Did I Right. Did I feel a physical connection?

[C]

Right. Did I. Did it move me a little bit? And I think for women that's a more important thing because I think for a lot of guys, it's an switch.

[B]

If you're on the date, you're probably already, I'm there.

[C]

I'm there because I'm attracted in some way or form. I think men should ask themselves that, like, did I. Did the emotional connection make the physical attraction that I had rise? You know, Like, I think that's worth asking yourself. Yeah, I'm. I'm with all that.

[B]

We got three great questions for you.

[C]

We totally agree.

[B]

Am I attracted? Would I like to see them again?

[C]

Here's what I would do after a first date. And I think this is good advice because I sometimes I just do say so if I do say, let me take a minute, pat myself on the back. Sometimes when we do the rapid fires, I like to think, what would be the dumbest way to like, help someone? Because sometimes the dumbest way to help someone is the way it is actually helpful.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Like the summer dating challenge. Going on a walk with your friend and their spouse I think is like the best thing you could ever do. Like, I, I believe in it. This idea I actually believe in. And, and sometimes I write and it like if you read the. In my phone, you'd be like, what is wrong? You need a therapist.

[B]

Yeah, but notes the Notes section of anyone's phone is like a weird dark place.

[C]

Oh, my God. Don't. Don't even look too far into it. Here's what you should do. Write down. Write an email about the first date that you would hypothetically send to a friend. Right. To describe it. Write an email to. Don't. Don't fill in the.

[B]

Or your diary.

[C]

Right. Dear Diary, I will write it in an email because it's like you're sending it to someone. But don't fill in the two part because you might send it by accident.

[B]

Right?

[C]

So write an email describing the date and then read it back to yourself.

[B]

Read it back to yourself the next day.

[C]

The next day?

[B]

Yeah. When you had. Once you've had like a, A second,

[C]

read it back the next day and then ask yourself, would I go out with that person again?

[B]

Right. Based on that description.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah, I think that's.

[B]

I like that.

[C]

That I think is truly helpful because you, I mean, the answers in the email, as we always say.

[B]

You know what? Write it in to us, right? And we will tell you if, based on the description, you should go on another date.

[C]

And it could be as plain Jane as it gets. I love that. Should you. Second date, yay or nay. Yeah, that's what we'll call the segment.

[B]

Write the description. Short, short description.

[C]

We just describe the date and, and how. What you did, how you felt, what you noticed just right away and send it into uuppet.com and we'll tell you. Second date, yay or nay. Because the answer, as we say on this show, the answer's in the email. And when you read your words back, you'll know. You will know and, and you will know if you're being too much, if you're getting ahead of yourself. If you're. It'll all. It'll be like a highlighter. And we will know and we'll.

[B]

You'll know and we'll know.

[C]

Let's do another dating for six weeks. Both 43. When do you have the exclusivity talk and how do you know it's the right time?

[B]

Well, something I've learned from you over the years is it's the right time when you want to be exclusive. Don't speak for us, but for if. If she or he. Six weeks. I'm ready. I'm not seeing anyone else. You are exclusive.

[C]

Tell them that I am exclusive with you.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Dating is an alone sport. It is not we, it is me. Yes, I totally agree. I think the. When should I have it? The minute you feel you want to have it.

[B]

Right.

[C]

That is, like, the hardest advice to give.

[B]

Right. Because. Because everyone thinks that they might come off crazy. You know you're not crazy, right?

[C]

Well, that's the most important thing. Always remember, you're not wearing a straight jacket in a padded room. If you are, I wish you the best and I hope you find, you know, health and wellness and happiness. But most of our listeners are not in a straight jacket sitting in a padded room. So if you feel like you are dating someone exclusively, I'd let them know that I would want to know if someone's dating me exclusively. Let's think of it. Let's change the perspective. You're dating someone exclusively and you didn't tell them you're an. Well, think of it that way.

[B]

They should know.

[C]

Why are you lying to this person? Hey, I. I just want to let you know I'm dating you and I'm not dating anyone else.

[B]

Right. And then you're. Their answer to that will reveal where they're at. Doesn't mean that they feel the same way, but you'll find out more about where they're st. Where there's. She clearly has. Has changed where she stands in this relationship. Or he. Sorry.

[C]

Right, let's.

[B]

Time to let the other person know that and see if they've also changed.

[C]

Yes. Stop being a dick. Okay. You're lying to them by telling them that. By not telling them you're exclusive with them, I'm exclusive with you.

[B]

Don't assume.

[C]

Don't assume. I I. When do you know it's the right time? I that's like the.

[B]

How do you know it when you want it, when you feel it, you don't want it. When you don't want to date anyone else.

[C]

When you've written into a question box to a podcast, it's the right time. That's the right time. Yes, that's.

[B]

Well, you ask yourself, do I want to see anyone else? Would I like to go on a date with someone that's not this person? If the answer is no, it's the right time.

[C]

Let's do another one.

[B]

All right, let's do another one. I like this one for you. Someone who was notoriously judgmental of holiday cards.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Should people not engaged or married be sending out holiday cards?

[C]

I think everyone should. Should have to send holiday cards by law.

[B]

Do you have a holiday card?

[C]

I would love that. Wouldn't that be great if you had to get a holly card from everyone?

[B]

You had to.

[C]

Had to. That was the law of the land

[B]

would make a lot of money.

[C]

A lot of money. It keeps, it keeps the economy going. But then you have a holiday card. I love it. I love judging it, I love looking at it. I love putting it up on the fridge. I mean, you know, my friends and I, we do this every year.

[B]

You judge them. I think that you said a lot of people don't like that.

[C]

We, we, people have slowly come to us. My friend, the baby was judging holiday cards. And then I was like, I'm in on this. This is awesome.

[B]

Co opted the whole.

[C]

Yeah. And then people stop sending them to the baby. So then I might get the Knicks. Right. So then I would bring the ones I got so that we could judge more.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And then we got together and made a video and they were so afraid of, like, I, I didn't realize the suburban anxieties. I think it's like comparison and being told that you're doing something wrong.

[B]

And well, a holiday card is almost a little vulnerable.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Look at, here's my beautiful family.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And then we all get to look and go, not that beautiful.

[B]

So is that what the commentary is?

[C]

No, it's really about the card. It really is way more so would you send out.

[B]

Are you going to send out a card with Emily this year?

[C]

I'm not in the.

[B]

You just said everyone should separate rules for thee and not for me.

[C]

I know. I, I think when I get. If I got a holiday card from a couple that's not married, I would. They should be. They know they're being judged and made fun of. Right. Like you have to be on the road to marriage.

[B]

Right. Or in a very long term partnership.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Let's say you've been together 20 years, never got married.

[C]

Right. I don't need marriage to make it. So you say for you to send out a holiday.

[B]

Well, I think a holiday card is from a family. So if you'd consider someone your family, I think you can send out a holiday card.

[C]

Right. I. If I got a holiday card from someone who's not married, I would assume one of two things. They are in a long term very serious relationship or they are someone trying to be funny.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And I'm okay with both of those.

[B]

I've never gotten a holiday card from anyone without kids.

[C]

Yeah, I don't think I have either. It might be a part of the country to like, you know, I get

[B]

holiday but not from people with no kids.

[C]

I just want more creativity with the holiday cards. Like I, I want more love is

[B]

blind thing where they made the holiday card together.

[C]

Yes. There was a love is blind thing where they did it and because it was like joked about in the pods.

[B]

Right. And they love Christmas or something.

[C]

Right. And then they ended up getting together. That was the guy that she thought saw her on social media.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And DM'd her before.

[B]

And they wound up being the better, the best couple.

[C]

Yeah. Not really beloved, but they were the most together couple. Yeah. I, I just want more. You know.

[B]

Holiday card is also like social net. It's like social networking. Social net. It is in a sense social networking. Remember who I am. I'm thinking of you. You ever get a holiday card from your dentist? They're marketing. Marketing card.

[C]

Well yeah. You, you put yourself in the group.

[B]

Right.

[C]

It's like a reminder.

[B]

You're marketing yourself to your friends. Remember me? We are friends. You've received my holiday card.

[C]

Right. I just wish there were more chances taken. I wish people were more creative. Like I wish people like went start the trend. I could start the trend. But I'm saying it is a symbol. Like right now they're saying that like the social. I, I saw this thing where socially like seniors in high school are like, are like from 20 years ago. They're like, they're like eighth graders.

[B]

I could see that.

[C]

So because they're being safer. They're so worried about being taped or doing the wrong thing and probably also on their phone.

[B]

So they don't get as much in, in person interaction.

[C]

Right. But like they're, you know, if, when are you going to do something that's a little different if you know that that's going to be held against you your whole life, you know, like the Internet's an ink. You've said it before. Like that's so scary to me that you can't screw up because the way you are torched for like trying.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it not working out. Like listen, like becoming a comedian, you know, you used to be able to go and go to a couple open mics and then eh. Not for me. Now if you want to become a comedian, you. There's a lot of people I know that are stuck in being a comedian. Really well think just like I don't think they, I, I met you know, people that started initially put out a bunch of videos and then they go, maybe they don't like it as much as they thought they did and now

[B]

but they feel like they have to do it.

[C]

I think you have an element of like it's already out, you know.

[B]

Right. Putting yourself. I mean that's Something I think people have done throughout history.

[C]

Yeah. But I think it's hard. I think it's easier to put yourself out there and harder to like, be different when you put yourself out there.

[B]

Right. Well, you're trying to get. You're trying to get to the algorithm. Right. So holiday cards are a great opportunity for that because there's no Internet to place them anywhere.

[C]

Like, if I put out a holiday card that was severely depressing.

[B]

That would be really funny.

[C]

That'd be funny.

[B]

You should do that.

[C]

Right. Here's everything horrible going on in my life right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then one person wouldn't get it. And like, call me. Be like, hey, if you ever need anything.

[B]

I love it.

[C]

Okay, I'll do that.

[B]

To getting your holiday card.

[C]

I'll discuss it with Emily.

[B]

Great. We're doing weird. She's like, I'm not right.

[C]

I'm out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new.

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[C]

All right, let's do another one. After how many dates is it no longer respectful to end things over text?

[B]

I think six.

[C]

Okay, six dates.

[B]

I think you get a call.

[C]

I think ending it as soon as you know it's over is the respectful part immediately. I think. I don't care. Anytime someone says they ended it over text, I think. I think they're being ticky tacky.

[B]

Six months.

[C]

I think any. First of all, let me just defend the texter who ends it over text. The person who ends it over text. The one time you've ever called this person is to just break up.

[B]

I think it's nice.

[C]

It is nice. I. I think starting the process over text is better than not starting the process at all.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But you have to give someone the opportunity to see you in person.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So I don't think at any point, I don't. Right. I don't think you can.

[B]

I mean like, after what. How many dates would you need To. Would you give it?

[C]

I think six. I'm with you.

[B]

Six.

[C]

After six dates, you have to give

[B]

an option if they want to talk about it or.

[C]

Or not. And I know that's like, maybe feels like a douchebag thing to do because now it's putting in their break, like, plan your own breakup type of thing.

[B]

I don't think in person you need to do six dates.

[C]

No, but I just think, like, give them the option. Anytime someone just brings up the text, I think that they're just trying to find a way to vilify the person. It's like, did they end it with you? I'm sorry?

[B]

I mean, if you end a real relationship after.

[C]

Sure. Well, I mean, I'm saying, like, six dates. Hey, I have had a really good time and six dates with sex.

[B]

Yes. Six dates with.

[C]

With sex, you have to say, if you send a text, it has to give an option for phone call or in person.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

It. The text is to plan the dumping. It's not the dumping.

[B]

I agree.

[C]

Just because I, I. Whenever someone's like, they did it over text, I'm like, and.

[B]

Right. Well, if you ask them for a call and they say, no, that's rude.

[C]

Here's what I would do. Send a voice note.

[B]

A voice note breakup. Because it can't be screenshotted.

[C]

Well, it can't be screenshotted. And then, hey, we have to talk. Now you get that out.

[B]

Wow. So that they could just freak out.

[C]

Like, what would you rather. How do you want to be dumped? You know, like, trying to think.

[B]

I think it depends on the person. It depends on the intensity. It depends on the sexual nature of the relationship.

[C]

Right. Went on one date, had sex. One date, one day, but had sex and still texting. But then they know.

[B]

I think a text is still fine. Hey, on one. One date, I think a text is still fine. But again, give it the option to. If you want to.

[C]

If you want to talk this out,

[B]

I'm cool with that.

[C]

Yeah. All right, let's do another one.

[B]

All right. Best way to make up after fights, I think that's a little bit fight dependent.

[C]

Right. Like, I don't know what the fight's about.

[B]

Right. I also actually think the worst advice is don't go to bed angry.

[C]

Okay. You think you should go to bed.

[B]

I think sometimes it is better to go to bed angry. And then when you have more space from the situation, you're less heated about it. Have the discussion.

[C]

Then when you go to bed after

[B]

a fight, big proponent of going to bed Angry.

[C]

Go to bed angry.

[B]

I go to bed.

[C]

You sleep in the same bed?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And you're just weird. It's a do. Like, is there, like a pillow wall in the middle? Like, how do you.

[B]

No, we just kind of like. There's like a. There's like a little bit of, like a. A weird vibe, and then the next morning we discuss it.

[C]

It's like when a war is, like, put on hold.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I'm gonna do a ceasefire. Yeah, well, that's what it is. Relate. So you're promoting a relationship ceasefire.

[B]

I'm promoting that. Like, I think that when you are heated about something, you're sometimes not fighting about it in the same way as when you've had a day to, like, coal off. And sometimes you were still. And here's what I'll do. If I'm, like, really irritated about something, I will off again. Depending on what it is, I will often hold it in my brain. Like, if I feel something that that day or that evening, I'll hold it in the. In my brain the next day. Sometimes I don't care about it anymore. Sometimes I'm still mad about it. If I'm still mad about it, I

[C]

bring it up, but from the other side of that, I couldn't handle. I'm not mad about it anymore. We still have to have a talk. Like, you not being mad about it. People in a fight.

[B]

Depends if I bring it up or not.

[C]

Well, if I went to bed with my partner and we, based on your direction, we go to bed angry.

[B]

Right. Well, you say, what's. What is the issue? Are you mad at me? And I'll say, let's talk about it tomorrow.

[C]

And I say, okay. And then I go in another room and I watch tv.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then I come back in the room, you're sleeping already. I'd kind of have to, like, dance around you. And then I go to bed.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then we wake up in the morning. I'm like, what's the. What's the deal?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You good. And you're like, I'm good. I couldn't know. I need to know.

[B]

Well, I could tell you and be like, well, you know, I could still tell you. Either way. Either way. I could still tell you, but I don't need as much from you as I would that evening.

[C]

Right. But I would need something.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You know, like, when I. You wake up in the morning, I'm not angry about it anymore. Okay. What got you there?

[B]

Okay.

[C]

What? What? Give. Take me on the ride on the roller coaster of Emotions that you went through.

[B]

Sometimes things annoy you in the moment, and then you realize they're not a big deal.

[C]

That's fine. I would need to go on the trip with you. That got. And I actually think that would be fun to do because then you. You. You might get angry again.

[B]

That's true. Well, it depends on your reaction.

[C]

Right. I need to, like, have this out. I need to know where the thought process was concrete. I don't mind someone being mad about something. I need to know how you got there.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Like, I need to know what got you to Angrytown usa. What bus did you take?

[B]

Right.

[C]

That's kind of more important to me than, like, I'm feeling off. That's annoying.

[B]

Sometimes you are feeling off. Sometimes you have.

[C]

Fine.

[B]

Sometimes you're on your period.

[C]

Okay, then say that. You know what?

[B]

I'm on my period and everything you're doing is just irritating me right now.

[C]

So not one thing. This is where I thrive in a relationship. I think if someone told me everything I'm doing is irritating is irritating them, I would start doing more things. Wow. I would. I would start dancing. I would say. And some.

[B]

Can't wait to see how you act in divorce.

[C]

A laugh. I'm looking to get a laugh. Like a little. A little piece of grass. A blade of grass to grow through concrete.

[B]

Sometimes I'm not in the mood to laugh.

[C]

You don't know when you're in the mood to be not around Jared Funnies. Yeah, I guess that's the Jared F. Funny.

[B]

That's the way you make up in a.

[C]

That's how I fight. I'm the most annoying person to fight with.

[B]

Right. Well, I actually think to. To go back to the actual question, which is a good question. I think the best way to make up after fights is when you do take that break and you come back into the thing, you think of one nice thing that you appreciate about the person.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Add into the conversation with your complaint.

[C]

Okay. So one nice thing.

[B]

Yes. So I love that you. That. That you cook dinner for me, you know, on most nights. I really appreciated it. I think it's really thoughtful.

[C]

However, what dinner did you enjoy?

[B]

It drives. It drives me.

[C]

I get more annoying in a fight.

[B]

It drives me crazy when you just leave the kitchen a completely complete mess.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I'm giving you an ex. I don't. This didn't happen.

[C]

But I like when you get angry. Like, I. That's.

[B]

I think I am entertained by your suffering.

[C]

I read this question how to make up a fight. And I'M like, I see that and it's like, man, it's so foreign to me to care about anything. Like, I, like, I have no. And I was trying to think of. Eventually, I know I'm. I'm wondering what irritated people. I get irritated. Don't get me wrong. I. I have a whole podcast called Ticked Off Tuesday where all I do is complain.

[B]

But you complain to, not like, to someone who's not gonna get into a fight with you, right?

[C]

I complain to myself.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Yeah. I'm curious. I actually, you know, like, now entering into a relationship, I'm curious as to what our fights will be about. I. I hope for fights because that is communication. Yeah, I'll let you know.

[B]

Well, I think, I think when you resolve a fight, that's why I like having space between the fight and like, the resolution is because you have time to soften.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I think the worst thing for fighting is when two people are really, like, amped up. I just think you don't really get anywhere because people become. At least I'll speak for myself. I become, like, more stubborn that way. If I have, like a night to, like, get some space, I can come into the conversation much softer.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Than I would when I'm in the moment, seeing the dishes and like, pissed off.

[C]

Right.

[A]

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[C]

Let's do another one.

[B]

Is it okay to say I'm overstimulated to leave a date early?

[C]

It's okay to say whatever you want to leave a day early because that means the date is over and you'll never speak to this person again. And who cares? Hey, I have a lot of gas, so I have to Go. Hey, I have to take a huge dump. So this is really nice and I hope you have a great night.

[B]

I think overstimulated is sort of an annoying term to use though, to leave a date early.

[C]

I hate over stimulated.

[B]

Right. Because I wouldn't use that term. I could think you could just say, I, you know, can we get the check? I think I'm, you know, I've got, I've got to go home for whatever.

[C]

Right. It feels like annoying people are creating new words every day.

[B]

Right.

[C]

To somehow make them not the bad guy.

[B]

Yeah. Like, it sounds like it's like a mental health issue.

[C]

Right. Any mental health adjacent word is annoying.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Problematic.

[B]

I agree.

[C]

Over stimulated.

[B]

Yeah. On, you know, I'm in a bat.

[C]

I don't know what's the bad mental space.

[B]

Yeah. Like, it's all to protect my mental, My mental energy.

[C]

Protect energy. It's all done.

[B]

Just say you gotta go.

[C]

It's all done to make sure. And again, this goes back to what I was talking about before. Playing it safe. I don't want to be the bad guy. I don't want anyone calling me out. So you have to create this world where you in a sense, self victimize.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

You know, because you can't attack a victim.

[B]

Right.

[C]

So I'm overstimulating.

[B]

Yelling at me because I'm over. You're mad at me because I'm overstimulated.

[C]

Right. They're basically protecting themselves against a video being made. Where. Can you believe this chick left early from the date? And I, I said I was overstimulated. How could you attack the overstimulated community?

[B]

What's the best way to, to leave a date early? How would you say it?

[C]

It's hard. Let me start with it's hard. Like I let. Let's not, let's not fool ourselves. Oh, you don't know how to, you know, get up from a date early? No. You're looking another human in the face and saying, I don't want to talk to you anymore.

[B]

How would you end a d early? I gotta show.

[C]

I gotta show. Right. I would lie. I. I would lie to the person.

[B]

Right. So would I.

[C]

Hey, I have to go. I would go to the bathroom.

[B]

That's the respectful thing.

[C]

Right. I would go to the bathroom, I would say, hey, I'm sorry, I have to go to the bathroom, never come back. And then I would, I would go in the bathroom and then I would come back and give a beat and I'd be like, listen, I'm having a really Bad stomach. Night. And have you done.

[B]

Have you used this?

[C]

No. Okay. I'm trying to think of what I would do.

[B]

No, I think you just.

[C]

I've never left a date early because I'm, like, just. I. I'm. I'm.

[B]

Finish the date.

[C]

Finish the date.

[B]

You just don't order another drink.

[C]

Right. No, this is great. I'm actually done. I'm gonna go home.

[B]

To me. That's the universal date language for I want to leave.

[C]

Hey, I actually have to wake up early.

[B]

I have to wake up early is a great one.

[C]

Yeah. And if you can't get through the end of your drink, I kind of, like, question your, like, fortitude.

[B]

Like, Right.

[C]

How are you living here on Earth? Like, you can't, like, get through the

[B]

Cosmo without being overstimulated.

[C]

Right. Let's do another one.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Why won't my single friends ask about my boyfriend? Their lack of curiosity is disappointing me. That reads like it's from the Most Annoying person ever. And these are from our Instagram zone. You know, there's a piece of me that's like, I know. Not everyone on the Instagram listens to the show.

[B]

Right?

[C]

So someone may. Why are you being mean to the listener? I'm being mean to the person who would write into a question box. I think this sound like, I can't read this without sounding annoying. Why won't my single friends ask about my boyfriend? Their lack of curiosity is disappointing me. Like, doesn't that sound like the most annoying person alive?

[B]

That does sound annoying.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Why do you think that they're not asking about her boyfriend?

[B]

I think they're not asking about her boyfriend because they are in a different world than you. Their priorities are different, and they don't, like, care that much that you're in a relationship. And perhaps they, like, want to be in a relationship and they're focusing more on meeting people themselves than finding out more about your boyfriend.

[C]

There's a few reasons I can give a few reasons why they're not about your boyfriend. Jealousy. They don't like your boyfriend.

[B]

Possible, too.

[C]

You're in a bad relationship and they really don't want to deal with it anymore.

[B]

Watching it by asking about it.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Or they don't care.

[C]

You are inherently more boring in a relationship than you are single.

[B]

You're not going out as much.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So no one gives a shit about how happy you are with your boyfriend. It's not that entertaining.

[B]

Right.

[C]

So why would they ask you?

[B]

Plus, they're not in that world. So they're just not. There's. There's not as much to ask.

[C]

Like, Right.

[B]

I didn't. When before I had kids, I didn't ask any of my friends about their kids. Yeah, it's care about your kids.

[C]

I don't give a fuck. Right, right.

[B]

Like, what am I gonna ask you?

[C]

Like, I've sleep.

[B]

I'm just asking you to ask you that.

[C]

Me, I would love to see like a super cut of me forcing myself to ask people about their kids. Like, I must sound like you don't care. No, I don't, but I want to make good conversation.

[B]

How are the girls eating? How are they sleeping? Like you don't.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

And I know you don't give a sleep, but I wouldn't be like, Jared never asks about the kids. Right.

[C]

Like I asked about your kids. When I asked about your kids. I'm asking about you.

[B]

Right.

[C]

How are you doing?

[B]

It's the same with the boyfriend.

[C]

Two monsters.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

That you have to deal with shitting and pooping and throwing up every fucking day. Is it awful? Like, I'm asking you real questions, right? Like how the kids. Yes, that. How are the kids for you? I'm. It's. How are you?

[B]

Right.

[C]

Like, did something happen with the kids that you're not doing well? It's never to like, find out about

[B]

how the kids are.

[C]

Give a. About these.

[B]

Barely know them.

[C]

I don't know. Yeah. Wait till they start being cool.

[B]

Yeah. And you'll care then you'll ask about

[C]

that and call me Uncle J train and. And given fun hugs and like, uncle J Train, help me with my tie, my shoe. He's the best. What am I getting out of this?

[B]

I. Yeah, right. That's same thing with your boyfriend.

[C]

That's right.

[B]

All right. Neither of us is super political, but he leans right and I'm very left. Can it actually work out?

[C]

What a weird way to write this question.

[B]

Right.

[C]

If you're neither of us are super political, which. This is where all the this is where I don't any political and dating question. It's always a To me, any politics and dating question is always a discussion of words and definitions.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

It's always the same thing. Same with this question. Neither of us are super political. You have a thing that comes up in your head when you think of super political. I have a thing that comes up in my head that comes up with super political. But they're very different things. They might be similar. I don't know. We. You have a definition of super political to you, what does that mean to you? And then they write, but he leans

[B]

right

[C]

and I'm very left.

[B]

That sounds like someone who's super political.

[C]

Agreed. It's also someone who wants to make sure that we think of them a certain way. Leans. I'm dating a guy leans right, so he's not that bad.

[B]

And I, he's not very right.

[C]

So I'm progressive, which means I'm ahead. I am doing the right thing.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Do you know what I mean? And that's, to me, that's the language they're trying to convey. Convey. Like, it's, it's hard to see it any other way from my angle.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

But that's where my brain goes. It's like, look at this person trying to seem like a hero while dating someone who has some disagreements with them.

[B]

Well, can it work?

[C]

I think it can work. I, I, I'm so, I'm so exhausted by the whole conversation, Right. Of, like, dating and politics. We, I was on the book tour and someone wrote in, the whole thing was like, we've talked about here about, like, are people on dating apps who write moderate? Why don't they just write that they're Republican?

[B]

That's an annoying person.

[C]

And I'm like, you're, like, you're you. That's your definition of moderate. Like, I can't really mess with their definition.

[B]

Right.

[C]

If that's how you're looking at people, then you're not really there to like. And I'm not saying you should have to discuss every matter and agree on every matter, but you're not really giving someone, like, you don't want to date that person. That's fine.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You know, but I think it can work to have disagreements about things going on in the world.

[B]

I agree. Well, it's funny how, like, you know, there's so much, and there's so much in the new, newer generation, there's so much people are against, like, labeling anything, right? Giving anyone anything too intensive a label, whether it's gender or sexuality or any of that stuff, except for politics. I need to know your label.

[C]

I need to know what, I need

[B]

to know exactly how you would define yourself. Put yourself in a box, right? And tell me what, how you would say it so that I can judge you on that. But absolutely nothing else gets a label.

[C]

Right? And it's like, I have certain issues I would go one way and certain issues I'd go another way.

[B]

Like, and I'm sure if you talked out any specific issue with someone who was rational, you would Both kind of come to the same place on it.

[C]

I totally. I think if you're talking with someone to win, then you're not really talking with someone.

[B]

Right.

[C]

If you're talking with someone, you know, to try and down them, like, I listen, I have this with my dad. I'll give an example. Like, I, you know, sometimes he'll just say things that he's trying to beat me on the conversation. I'm like, do you want to win or do you want to talk?

[B]

Right.

[C]

And I say that to him all the time. I go, do you want to win or do you want to talk? Like, I don't.

[B]

And what does he say?

[C]

He'll leave. We don't talk about it anymore. But it's a, it's kind of a. If you look at it that way, like, you tend to, like, have more

[B]

conversations, you know, you're probably closer than you think.

[C]

Because very few times is someone gonna go, well, I can't believe I'm wrong about how I see the world. You win.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Like, this is not how people were.

[B]

Right. I never thought of that.

[C]

I, I can take a piece that I'd never thought, oh, I never saw that perspective, you know, like.

[B]

Right. If you're, if you're dealing with someone with an open mind.

[C]

Right. And, and I think we're fed videos of people who are just not open minded.

[B]

Well, that's, that's what does the best. No, no, like moderate take.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Is actually getting any views.

[C]

But I think more people. When I go on the road, I go over the whole country, when I meet people, people are very similar, you know, Like, I think people want the same things. Like, and it's like, I don't mean to be like Mr. Positivity, but like, I just don't think it's as heated as it gets played off.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You know, like, so I agree.

[B]

I think everything is sensationalized.

[C]

Yeah. So. But can it work? It can work if you want to discuss.

[B]

Yes. And think less about the label and more about the, the specific way that you communicate about the topics.

[C]

Right. And again, I would also go topic for topic.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Yeah.

[C]

Right. What you said about boxing people, like, if you can say like, like if you're against this one thing, like, and I think of the other thing with politics, I remember, you know, I was trying to do a podcast and like, you touch on the subject, someone's gonna get upset. You're gonna hear from someone, which is like, annoying. But I'm like, we all have Our list, You know, I think that's the big thing. Like, what are the, what's the list look like? Is way more important to me. What list of importance? All right, you know, where do you put this subject? Like, everyone votes with a list in their mind. Some people vote 1.

[B]

One item.

[C]

One item.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I think to date someone who votes on one item, you have to respect that one item. They obviously care about that one thing very much.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I think a lot of men generally, this is the accusations that men aren't as outward with this so that

[B]

they can scam you into like secretly dating a Republican.

[C]

I, that's kind of what the vibe seems to be. But I don't believe, I think men are generally just like, not to say men generally. I don't think that's true because you do see these men that are out there that are like super blue. But like, what's the, what's the list look like? I think is a more important scale for dating.

[B]

And how do they think about that? I think how they think about the individual issues or topics is more important than the actual label, like, like political label they give themselves.

[C]

Right.

[B]

How do you think? Right. The label, your thought process going into how you formed your opinion on this topic.

[C]

Totally. And a lot of labels that people give themselves, it's just passed down from family.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, that's a really, I think we underrate how hard it is to get out of familial generational labels.

[B]

Agreed.

[C]

I think it's really, if you're close

[B]

with your family especially.

[C]

Totally. Like, I think there's no empathy for it, seemingly. But I'm also thinking right now in my mind, when I'm like, there's no empathy for it, I'm thinking of the horrific person I've seen on TikTok. You know, like, I'm not even sure. Maybe that's, maybe there's a lot of empathy.

[B]

Right. Who were they, as we say.

[C]

Right. So let's do another.

[B]

Last one.

[C]

Last one. How should a guy initiate a first kiss after five dates with no kiss?

[B]

Okay. She's five dates in. I will say.

[C]

Who do you think this is from?

[B]

Like, what's person specifically?

[C]

No. Is it, is this from the guy? I, I, this was my question.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I think is this from the guy who's five dates in, who hasn't kissed?

[B]

I would assume so, because I wouldn't ask you how to, how to do your job.

[C]

There's a possibility that it's like, I've been on a date with A guy, five dates and he hasn't kissed me yet.

[B]

Right. But they're asking how to do it.

[C]

Okay. How should a guy initiate a first kiss?

[B]

I would say if I've been on five. I say most women, if they've been on five dates with someone, they are not appalled by an attempted kiss.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I think go into it with that. You wouldn't be there five times. You might be there.

[C]

One assumption is consent.

[B]

Yes. I would say after five dates, the assumption it would be. I would be hard to argue that someone was being aggressive if after five dates they attempted to kiss you. So go in with that mindset to

[C]

give a little feedback. You can aggressively try to kiss someone after five dates.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

You know, but like the act of

[B]

trying to try to kiss someone after five days. I would say it would be if. Again, if you're thinking. Thinking of the court of public opinion.

[C]

Totally agree.

[B]

If someone. If I. One of my friends at brunch told me that this guy tried to kiss her after five dates and she was offended by that, I would think she was weird.

[C]

Yeah. Right.

[B]

So first. First date, maybe. Again, I think there's nothing wrong with kissing on the first date, but if someone's showing up five different times, they. I would assume they want. They want something there. So I would go in with that if that should help your confidence level in that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

You.

[C]

The person would like to be kissed.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We.

[C]

We can say with a lot of

[B]

confidence if they're still there. Yes. Unless they are anti physical touch.

[C]

Well, unless they were on the date and were like, you know, I only kiss after marriage.

[B]

Yes. Which I would assume that would come up.

[C]

We're living in a world where that's not very.

[B]

I would start. If you haven't done it, I'm assuming there's like a. There's like a fear of doing it. I would start small with a leg touch. See how that's responded to climb your

[C]

way up the bottom kind of.

[B]

I think, I think a leg touch is like a way to like see how the person responds to like physically he's touching you. It's not an aggressive thing. If you're a little more timid. It just lets you see if the person is open to. Are they leaning towards you? Are they leaning away from you?

[C]

Right. If you get a leg touch and. Well, what is that? Okay. They're a little touchy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

If you get a lean in and

[B]

there's a lean in, that person wants you to kiss them.

[C]

Right. No, I'm. I'M with you. I think a leg touch leading to a back of the. The small back.

[B]

Yes. That's number two.

[C]

Number two. That's a good second spot. I'd stay away from the shoulders. That's a tough spot to touch sexually.

[B]

Hold both.

[C]

Right. Like, I think that, I think the. The back of the small. The back leads you to the kiss.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

The small.

[B]

If they're not stepping away from the small of the back.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I think you're. It's pretty.

[C]

I think you also sometimes to give this person empathy, someone might be listening. Like five dates, you didn't kiss them. Like, that's just who you are. Like, you guys are not a match. There's no sexuality. I think you have to also put yourself in a position where kissing can happen.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

You've got to be at a bar, at a lounge. Sexy date. You gotta have a dark, you know,

[B]

try to make out with someone like at a well lit coffee shop.

[C]

Right.

[B]

That's not gonna happen during the day.

[C]

Walk during the day. Not gonna happen. I would say date ends. Like if to really hold their hand, date ends. Hey, let, let's. Do you want to go for a walk? This is like a nice neighborhood. Let's take a walk. You get to a street corner, you're waiting for the light. I would say waiting to cross the street and touching the small of their back, pulling ever so gently and then going into the kiss from there. And now you have a timed kiss where when the streetlight changes, you can release from the kiss and then go on your way. I think I'm trying to start.

[B]

You just wrote a rom com listen and then dip them.

[C]

A little dip. A little dip. I think that's if you want to give like a structure to it. Because sometimes it's just I need the Runway.

[B]

Right.

[C]

You know, the things need to like, feel kissable.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Right.

[B]

But again, five dates, I would assume much more often than not, the person is not opposed to being kissed by you.

[C]

And if you go in for that kiss and it doesn't feel right, it's okay to be on five dates that didn't work out.

[B]

That's also right.

[C]

I think it's okay to go.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The vibe wasn't there. We tried.

[B]

Maybe we're friends.

[C]

Yeah. Well, we solved dating again.

[B]

We did it. We'll be back on Friday.

[C]

Boom.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bill, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[A]

of $45 for 3 months, $90 for 6 months or $180 for a 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network is busy. See terms batches.