Halloween Reveals Your True Relationship Status

Summary

U Up? – "Halloween Reveals Your True Relationship Status"

Date: October 29, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Podcast: U Up? by Betches Media

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode, Jordana and Jared dive headfirst into Halloween’s role as a revealing point in modern dating. Interweaving a mix of personal news, listener dilemmas, and pop culture discussions, they focus on how the holiday exposes the reality of relationships—whether you're paired up, still situationship-ing, or flying solo. Listeners are also treated to major life updates and plenty of Halloween-centric laughs, advice, and a revealing look at what costumes, parties, and social media say about our romantic lives.

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Jordana’s Big Announcement: "Twiblings"

[05:39 – 14:15]

• Jordana announces she's expecting two daughters this winter—one via her own pregnancy and the other through a surrogate, both due days apart.
  • Jared jokes: "I shed a tear when you told me. Very cool." [06:58]
• The term "twiblings" (twin + sibling) is discussed and (gently) ridiculed—Jared isn't a fan, noting, "Twiblings sounds like nibbling and no man can say twiblings." [09:25]
• Jordana explains the unique circumstances: she's roughly six months pregnant; her other daughter will arrive via surrogate; the babies will be 12 days apart.
• Conversation reflects on the practicalities and emotional side of the news, chatting about room sharing, reading parenting books, and the "miracle" of modern family-making.
• Memorable moment: Jared riffs about keeping the secret: "Your pregnancy has been the hardest times of my life." [13:45]

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The Hallway Test & Relationship Labels

[01:12 – 05:28]

• Fun banter about how you define friendship—the “hallway test”: Would you say hi if you passed in a hallway?
  • Jared’s dad’s test: "If you were walking by each other in a hallway, would you say hello?" [02:45]
• They unpack social cues and what it means to say a relationship is "okay" versus “very good."
  • Jared quips: “‘I’m okay’ sounds like you’re not okay.” [01:52]

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Halloween: The Relationship Reveal Holiday

[17:05 – 22:02]

• With Halloween falling on a Friday, they compare its significance to Valentine's Day—hinting it’s a pressure point that exposes what you are to each other.
• Jared proclaims: "Halloween is when you find out if you're dating someone or you're just someone." [17:45]
• Halloween plans—or lack thereof—clarify relationship status: are you spending the holiday together or are you “situationships” at midnight?
• If you aren’t together on Halloween, especially this year, “your relationship turns into a pumpkin.” [18:18]
• Discussion about the subtleties of Halloween invites and what they reveal about interest and commitment, especially in new relationships.

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Listener Email: Is It Too Soon for a Halloween Party Invite?

[30:46 – 36:56]

• A listener (27F) asks whether it's too soon to invite a guy (28M, dating for three weeks/four dates) to a Halloween party—also, is suggesting a couple's costume overkill?
  • Both agree: There’s no such thing as too soon for a party invite if you like someone.
  • Jared’s take: "Never too early to invite someone you like to a party." [31:29]
  • Jordana: "Even one date... I think you went on a great date; what are you doing? I'm going to this party, want to come by?" [32:18]
• They draw the line at couple's costumes—these are for established couples (you need to have “met a parent” first!).
• Opens up about “Main Street dating” vs. “back alley dating”: Your relationship’s public moments (inviting to a friend’s party) are a key marker of serious interest.

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Halloween-Themed Red Flag or Deal Breaker

[64:22 onward]

A lightning round featuring hilarious and real Halloween dating dilemmas:

• Creepy Medusa Costume Ghosting: A woman goes all out on a creepy Medusa costume, guy ghosts after, saying it reminded him of his ex.
  • Verdict: Not a deal breaker, just a mismatch—“One woman's ick is another woman's husband.” [67:33]
• Couple’s Costume... with her Cat: Guy stings a bit when girlfriend plans couple’s costumes with her cat, not him, for the third year in a row.
  • Jared: “I do understand where he’s like, am I not in this family?” [68:54]
  • Solution: Insert yourself! “If they’re two monkeys, you’re a banana.” [69:06]
  • Both agree: After three years, not including him is a red flag.
• Montana Murder Ranch: Date is invited to boyfriend’s family’s luxury ranch, but everyone must sign a death-waiver (rattlesnakes, ATVs, mountain lions, etc.)
  • Jared notes: “We have the money, so you do whatever we say. If you want to be playing in our playground, sign this paper and shut up.” [77:30]
  • Both would sign, but agree the real issue is the family’s attitude and lack of transparency.

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Pop Culture: Kristen Bell & Dax Shepard’s “Creepy” Anniversary Post

[39:44 – 46:29]

• Discuss Kristen Bell’s IG anniversary post, joking, “I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives... I never would.”
  • Are ‘dark joke’ couple posts cute or creepy?
  • Both fall on the side of “cute"; it’s about knowing your audience and the intention behind a joke.
  • Jordana reflects: “Mike and I joke about murdering each other all the time.” [43:11]
  • Jared: “Creepy or not, I’d need to already hate the couple for this to bother me.” [43:57]
• Social media relationship posts: Longer, more performative captions (“highs and lows,” etc.) are a red flag; simple or funny feels most genuine.
  • “If you say ‘another year around the sun,’ get me away from that couple.” [45:31]

---

Relationship & Sex Advice: Sex Slump After Moving In

[53:54 – 62:45]

Listener email: After moving in (eight months, ring shopping!), sex has gone from daily to twice a week—she’s worried.

• Both note: 2x/week is not “nonexistent.”
• Jared: “You went from every night to twice a week… that’s not that crazy.” [59:12]
• The new normal (living together, dealing with a pregnancy scare, using condoms, etc.) chips away at the spontaneous excitement.
• Jordana: “Stability is beautiful, but it’s not that sexy.” [58:38]
• Emphasizes the importance of honest conversation. Jared suggests a “Three-Note Dinner”:
  1. One thing you like about your sex life
  2. One thing you’d improve
  3. One thing you’ve dreamt about
  • Exchange notes over courses—keeps it light, playful, and productive. [61:11]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Halloween’s Revelation Power:
  "If you're not with your person at midnight on Halloween, your relationship has turned into a situationship. The Cinderella carriage of your relationship turns into a pumpkin." — Jared, [18:18]

• On New Relationship Milestones:
  "Never too early to invite someone you like to a party." — Jared, [31:29]

• On Couple's Costumes:
  "You gotta know a parent to go couples costume." — Jared, [33:49]

• On Social Media Anniversaries:
  "If you say highs and lows, I’m just like, thank God I’m not in that relationship." — Jared, [45:31]

• On Intimacy:
  "Stability is beautiful, but it’s not that sexy." — Jordana, [58:38]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – 01:12: Banter, intro to episode (skip ad)
• 01:12 – 05:28: Hallway test & relationship labeling
• 05:39 – 14:15: Jordana's big baby announcement
• 17:05 – 22:02: Halloween’s role in relationships
• 30:46 – 36:56: Listener: Should I invite my date to a Halloween party?
• 39:44 – 46:29: Kristen Bell’s anniversary post, social media relationship optics
• 53:54 – 62:45: Sex and relationship intensity after moving in
• 64:22 onward: Halloween Red Flag/Deal Breaker lightning round

---

Tone and Style

The episode is witty, direct, a little irreverent, but grounded in honest emotional insight—the classic U Up? mix:

• Playful banter rooted in real experience
• Candid takes on modern dating rituals
• Acknowledgment of both the silly and the serious
• Plenty of pop-cultural and personal references

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Final Thoughts

The episode blends Halloween fun with sharp insights into how significant “third-party” events (holidays, social media, parties) can provide clarity—or chaos—in dating. From the pressure of party invites to the nuances of couple’s costumes, listeners leave with reassuring, no-nonsense guidance, a few laugh-out-loud moments, and permission to keep things real—on Main Street, not the back alley.

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For next-level dating commentary and bonus content, follow @u.up.podcast on Instagram, and catch new YouTube episodes and exclusive content for subscribers.

Transcript

[A]

If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your own business. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Shopify's got you from the get go with beautiful ready to go templates to match your brand style. Tackle all the important tasks in one place. From inventory to payments to analytics and more. Spread your brand's word with built in marketing and email tools to find and keep new customers. And did I mention that iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Your customers already love it. If you want to see less cards being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start sell selling today at shopify.com batches. Go to shopify.comshopify.com batches hello and welcome back to the UF Podcast. I'm Jordan Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you. Jordana. How are you? What's going on? What's the haps?

[A]

I am very good, Very good, very.

[B]

Good, very good, very good. That's quite an answer.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I would never say very good.

[A]

You'd never say very. When people say how ever.

[B]

Never ever.

[A]

Why?

[B]

How are you? Very good. Then I have to back it up with like a reason.

[A]

Well, we're, we're on a pod. We're literally on a podcast. I should back it up with a reason.

[B]

Yeah, I'm waiting. I would hope you have something to talk about. I always say I'm okay. I. I'm okay. And you know when someone goes, I'm.

[A]

Okay, sounds like you're not okay.

[B]

Yeah, I guess that does start up a conversation. I don't want to have weird and say I'm great.

[A]

If someone texted me and they were like, how are you? And I said I'm okay. I would like, to me, I would say that if I was like very much not okay.

[B]

I would never text it.

[A]

You would never.

[B]

I just don't believe in giving too much to random stranger.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Who. Hey, how you doing?

[A]

Great.

[B]

I'm no, not bad. I'm pretty good. They would never be.

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

I'm very good. I'd be like. Like, if it was right.

[A]

If you were.

[B]

Here comes a big brag.

[A]

If you were a stranger, I would definitely not say, very good. Very good.

[B]

So why are you.

[A]

But you are. We are. We're pretty good friends, I think, at this point.

[B]

I think we're okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think we've made it this far. Yeah.

[A]

Well, then. Oh, are you. Are you. Do you know, whatever. Are you. Are you friends with them? And then you said, oh, we're okay. We're okay means, like, we're not okay.

[B]

Also, this is my dad's old thing. Do you know so. And so he would always go, do you know Jordana Abraham? And I go, yeah, I know her. So you guys are friends? And I'd be like, well, we're. We're good. Like, I was like. And then his big test for whether you were friends with someone or not, it's. If you were walking by each other in a hallway, would you say hello?

[A]

In a hallway?

[B]

In a hallway.

[A]

And it's different than a street, right?

[B]

Yes. Covered makes it way different. Yeah. Right. I guess that's the way to judge. If you saw someone across the street, it would be different than a hallway. Different than a sidewalk.

[A]

Sidewalk, yeah.

[B]

So you and I, if I saw you across the street, I would go across the street to go say hello to you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think that makes us good friends.

[A]

I agree. If we're more than okay.

[B]

More than okay. Yeah. If you were walking, you know, let's say, like. But. But that doesn't make us good friends because I like Will, and if I saw him across the street, I'd probably go across the street to say hi to Will.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Yeah. He would duck. He'd be out.

[A]

Would you go across. That's the thing. Let's say Will's out. You're leaving. Will's out getting lunch. He's on the other. You just saw him. He's on the other side of the street. Are you. You're going to do.

[B]

I'm going to rush.

[A]

You're going to do a wave.

[B]

You're not going to.

[A]

What are you going to do?

[B]

But that's a lot to just go, hey, well.

[A]

Oh, throw your body in front of us.

[B]

Oh. Oh, yeah. So I. I don't know. In my. But my dad's test, I was always like, well, if I was walking down an empty hallway and passing someone.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I think I'd say hi to anyone and it's empty.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Empty hallway.

[A]

Very weird to not.

[B]

Right. It's almost weirder to not unless a stranger.

[A]

Right. Unless you see them all the time. And then you could do, like, a.

[B]

Nod so you know the person. I'm trying to think of someone who would be good like that, but that's the thing. Like, if Jay Shetty was walking down a hallway, I'd stop to say hello to him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean, I wouldn't consider him a good friend.

[A]

Right.

[B]

No, we're more, you know, acquaintances.

[A]

And what about someone you went on a date with three years ago?

[B]

I wouldn't remember who they were. I've had that happen. I've had women come up to me, Jared. I'm like, what about five minutes of.

[A]

Your mom's friend from the. From the country club?

[B]

From the club, Yeah. I mean, did you cross the street? No, I'd avoided. Okay. Any of those women.

[A]

That's really the test.

[B]

But they're avoidable people. They're people you would want to.

[A]

Right. I think it's actually. I think the hallway test is not great, because it would be. It's. You almost have to really hate someone to not to know of them and not say hello in an empty hallway.

[B]

You're absolutely right. That's why I always doubted my.

[A]

It's more like, are you. Are you okay? I think is. The hallway test is. Are you okay? You're not okay. You might not say anything.

[B]

Right. So why are you very good?

[A]

I'm very good. Because having a baby. Whoa. Two babies.

[B]

I didn't know you were doing it this episode. That's the only reason I was very good. I was like, that's crazy.

[A]

Surprise.

[B]

I didn't know this was the episode. So he said, very good. I'm like, what the is that?

[A]

Jared already knew this, by the way.

[B]

This isn't how I found that. Yeah, but I. Wow. We play the confetti.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Start the music.

[A]

There we go. Get the AI in here.

[B]

Do you want to expand on that?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I did. I did a whole. It should be out. It's out.

[B]

Is it out?

[A]

It's been out. Yeah, it's been out for almost. If you're listening on Wednesday, it's been out for almost a week. I did it on baby steps.

[B]

So if you want the full story, go to baby.

[A]

You want, like, the full.

[B]

If you want to hear about the penis going into the vagina, we take you back to the scene of the crime.

[A]

Yes. That's not. It's not what we do.

[B]

Oh, no. Okay.

[A]

But long story short, I am going to be welcoming two little girls this winter.

[B]

And how will you be doing that?

[A]

One will be. One will be via a pregnancy that I am. I'm currently about six months pregnant.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And the other one is via surrogate. And they are due 12 days apart this winter.

[B]

The most beautiful, awesome story. I shed a tear when you told me. Very cool. I mean, what's the nickname for that? I mean, now that I've told you, I've told a lot of people before you let me tell people, so I. I really tell anyone.

[A]

Told everyone.

[B]

Yeah. Don't tell me not to tell someone. I'm going to tell someone.

[A]

All of Delray knows.

[B]

The whole St. Andrews Country Club is already throwing you a party. It's already happened. My mom is like, when do I send a gift? I'm like, easy there. I gotta hold her back like an attack dog. The. So I've told people that and everyone does the same thing. And I'm sure this has happened to you. I'm like, yeah, Jordana's pregnant and you know the surrogate and then her. And they're having at the same time. And this is annoying to me. They all go, ah, it happens all the time. And I'm like, no, it doesn't.

[A]

Right?

[B]

No, it doesn't. This doesn't happen all the time. I don't know a bunch of people who are like, I'm from the random woman and I'm from my mom. Like, I don't like, that's just not. I think people. Once you hear. It's like, once you hear a story, you remember it and then you start hearing it again. You're like, oh, my God, I just heard a story.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So have you gotten that? Have people been like, this happens all the time? And is there a nickname for this? Is there a name?

[A]

It's called. This does. I mean, I'm obviously like, I can't.

[B]

Believe I spent two hours on our sidewalk versus hallway conversation.

[A]

I think that's a. That's a legit. That's just as legitimate of a conversation.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's just. It's just as groundbreaking.

[B]

I totally didn't know this was the episode. Okay, what is the nickname for it?

[A]

It's called Twiblings.

[B]

Twiblings.

[A]

Twiblings.

[B]

I don't know about that one.

[A]

You don't like it?

[B]

I don't like. It's just weird for a guy to say Twiblings.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think a woman can say that comfortably right away. I didn't like it feels.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. Do you want a new name?

[B]

Twiblings. Why is it Twiblings?

[A]

Because they're not quite. They're siblings. They're sort of twin, like, because they're not like, far apart enough to be like real siblings. Like regular siblings like, that. You. You would need probably at least a year.

[B]

Well, there's siblings. I. I kind of under. It kind of undercuts them being siblings because they are siblings. They're from the same.

[A]

Right. They're not really.

[B]

It's not like I know that you. You know, a surrogacy.

[A]

Yeah. It's the same. Yeah.

[B]

You would never call a certain kid.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. You wouldn't call a kid from a surrogate something different than a sibling.

[A]

Well, there it is in the name. It's sibling and twin.

[B]

I know, but tw.

[A]

It's not quite a twin.

[B]

Twibbling sounds like nibbling. And no man can say.

[A]

I kind of agree. I don't love the term. It's not like it doesn't. It doesn't, like, sound like a word I would say other than in this situation. I would love another word.

[B]

Those kids. Oh, yeah, we're Twiblings. I kind of losers.

[A]

I kind of just. All right, I'll tell. I'll tell the. I'll tell the community.

[B]

Yeah. Let them know. Uncle Jared doesn't really like.

[A]

It does not like this name.

[B]

I didn't say it in front of Uncle J Train.

[A]

Mike's kind of. I think Mike probably feels he's just been calling them the twins, even though they're not really twins.

[B]

They are twins. But you also can't make it a thing where it feels like you're angry or self conscious.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Twins. Like, I would be like, oh, they're like, in their head about.

[A]

Well, it's also like, if I don't. It's kind of, you know, you're meeting someone in an airplane, they ask you what you do. You don't really want to, like, get into it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So their twins is kind of like, I don't really want to talk to you about this. So you can think they're twins.

[B]

I'm not. Well, there's like, a miracle to all this, too. Like, there's like. Like a. Like a subtle, like, amazing story to it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That I understand not wanting to get into it. Like, there's a lot of amazing stories. Let me, you know, bring you back.

[A]

To the day started in April, 2022.

[B]

Well, listen, if you want this unfiltered question and answer session.

[A]

Yes, we are going to more of this.

[B]

More of this. We're going to do a benefits episode. That sounds like we planned all this. End scene. We're going to do all that. I'm, I, I feel very comfortable with Jordana and asking every question that you'd be like, can I ask that question?

[A]

Because I feel like there's a lot of questions people like want to know but are like, don't want to be insulting or rude or weird because there would be like I've interviewed people who've had surrogates on baby steps and even though that show is about that, I'm always like, can I ask this? Is that weird? So you have full reign.

[B]

Thank you. You have given me permission. I mean, I'm doing it right now. When you said twiblings, I was like, right, that's true. We didn't discuss that. So, yeah, it's gonna be our benefits recording and it's out this Monday. And yeah, you gotta pay. It's. That's.

[A]

You gotta pay for this hard hitting information. Yeah.

[B]

Right. So it's. Join the benefits. Which people. We don't. We tend not to lose people. Which I think is a sign of a good, A good exchange of goods.

[A]

High retention.

[B]

So we have a high retention rate. So if you want, you get the episodes a day early. You get benefits episodes twice a month where we get more personal in ways like all the beginning stuff of the podcast. If you enjoy that part of the podcast, I would say you would love benefits. So this is so. What a big day for the U up podcast.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We're having a baby.

[A]

We're doing it.

[B]

This is great. I am so excited.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I don't know what to do with myself. Good thing you have like 10 extra rooms for all these kids in the house.

[A]

They're gonna share a room.

[B]

No, they're not. Yeah, they are. Really.

[A]

At least when they're little.

[B]

Is that how it goes?

[A]

I think what they, I mean, I've done, I'm doing some research. It feels like that's like more of a way to go. It's just easier when they're. They're that little.

[B]

Okay. No, I, I would. Yeah, right. It's got to be easier if one's crying, the other one's crying, right? What do you read a book about parenting? Like this to me is always a sitcom thing. You always have the sitcom where like the wife is pregnant, they're like reading books and she gets mad at the husband for not reading the book.

[A]

Yes. Like they knocked up.

[B]

It's always.

[A]

That's like a trope. Ye.

[B]

Is that what happens? Is Mike reading? Are you reading? Does anyone read?

[A]

We. I was, you know, I started reading. I was reading in the first pregnancy back in the day, like years ago. And then I stopped reading because I was like, I don't need this information anymore.

[B]

Well, I guess that's over with. Throws the book over and takes out a beer.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, that's over. So I have. Maybe I should get back into the reading. I'm. I'm very lucky. I'm gonna have a baby nurse, so I'm assuming she's just gonna teach me everything at this one need to. No.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Or you're gonna. You're gonna babysit.

[B]

Yeah, I'm coming over. I'm staying.

[A]

You're gonna do the midnight. Midnight feeds, right?

[B]

I'm doing the nighttime.

[A]

You breastfeed?

[B]

I'll breastfeed. I'll put a rubble right up to each nipple and let it fly.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

I can't be more excited. I'm like, I. I. You know, to make your pregnancy about me. It's really been hard for me to keep this a secret for so long.

[A]

It's been hard for you. I know this has been a really difficult journey for you.

[B]

Your pregnancy has been the hardest times of my life.

[A]

I told you. It's now. It's now October 29th. I told you. I think end of July when we were in la. So it has been a bit that you.

[B]

It's been a lot.

[A]

You've been quite discreet, in my opinion. Well, listen, for as far as I know, I mean, I guess you could be telling people, right?

[B]

No, not that many. I told people I trusted just in. In, you know, in the quiet moments.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's so exciting. I. And listen, the podcast goes on. Don't worry, you guys will have shows. We are prepping delve into your issues. No problem. I guess I got what let's.

[A]

What's up with you?

[B]

I'm having a baby. No, I'm.

[A]

Don't one up me.

[B]

I'm having triblets or dribbles.

[A]

Twibblings.

[B]

Twiblings.

[A]

Yeah, I agree. I don't like the word. I don't like how it.

[B]

Cuz then like. Are you going to dress them alike? Will you do that?

[A]

No, we discussed this on a pre.

[B]

Listen, it's easier again advice easier to give than it is to take.

[A]

You can dress them the same. I think when they're like we said, there's an age limit.

[B]

Listen, I'm getting you a gift. It's probably going to be some matching. Like matching. Yeah, yeah. We got to figure out what that gift's to.

[A]

Going.

[B]

Going to be. I'm going to have to really call Diana.

[A]

This is the only time you get gifts. So I'm excited to see this is it.

[B]

This is when I'm go. When I go get into action. Nothing's going on. Happy to be back in New York here in studio. If you're watching on YouTube, get subscribed to the YouTube. We are right now. There is a you up for more that people really love. We go to a apartment of a Gen Z out in the wild. Veronica, who was awesome.

[A]

She was great.

[B]

Veronica's living the dream. Early 20s, mid-20s, New York City, single woman experience. I. I would say that people dream to live the way she's living. I'm sure she's got, you know, got.

[A]

Her new age sex in the city.

[B]

Totally. But we went to her apartment and, you know, talked about her dating life and did a little bit of a makeover. But it was really. I. I think that what it turned into is us just like seeing what it's like to be 25 living in the city, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So go check it out. Yeah.

[A]

Did you feel like it was different from when we were that age living in the city?

[B]

No, I thought it was the same thing. I. I really don't see. I don't think everyone thinks their experience. Oh, we're the first generation. That we. This and that. I really didn't.

[A]

Like, you're doing the same.

[B]

Yeah. That's an apartment with roommates you met online. People met randomly then, you know, like, it's a beautiful apartment. It was. And the area she's in the hot area.

[A]

Like, that's true.

[B]

You know, you could just feel the energy. Like, you know, that woman, her roommate, who they just met on Facebook. Like, she comes out and I'm like, she's a sitcom character. Veronica's a sitcom character. These are two fun people. I was like, happy for them.

[A]

No, I agree. It gave me some nostalgic.

[B]

Totally walking up those steps. I've walked up those.

[A]

Oh, totally. It's the. Yeah, it's like the same thing. I agree. It's the same as when we were that age with baggier jeans.

[B]

Right, right, right, right. We are right now. This is coming out on the Wednesday before Halloween, which is on a Friday.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We'll be dressing up on Friday. So tune into the YouTube for that. But Wednesday Before Halloween. This is. This is the high, I would say, as far as dating season is concerned. Like, this is a big week. This is like.

[A]

Do you think Halloween plans or. I mean, let's get. We're getting into our first email, but.

[B]

Like, email, because it is about Halloween place. I do have an opinion. I. I have like a. More like, I think this. Today is. Is a good and bad day for a lot of people.

[A]

I agree. I think it's. Well, it's kind of like the week before Valentine's Day.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're either like, you're finding out more information about where things are going.

[B]

Let me just say this. Halloween is when you find out if you're dating someone or you're just someone. That is the day you find out. And if you're not sure of it, you're gonna find out when the clock strikes midnight. If you're not with your person, your relationship, you are single. Yeah. Your relationship has turned into a situationship. It is the. You know, it is the. The. What is. When Cinderella. What does Cinderella take? It turns the. The cart.

[A]

The. The carriage.

[B]

The carriage. The Cinderella carriage of your relationship turns into a pumpkin at midnight if you're not with the person that you've been dating.

[A]

No pressure, though.

[B]

No pressure.

[A]

Yeah. Have a great time.

[B]

Have a great day. But I'm saying if you're. If you're hanging out after midnight, you're. If you're hanging out before midnight on Halloween, which is on a Friday, which is. There's no excuses this year.

[A]

It's on a. Right. Yeah.

[B]

This is Halloween. Last Halloween. You know, I. I was tricked. I was fooled into believing Halloween is every.

[A]

On the Friday.

[B]

Every Friday the 13th. Yes. The last. Whatever this. It's on a Friday, you know, the day. There's no other days they're with someone on Halloween. It's either you or someone else that they're choosing to be with. So this is my message.

[A]

It could be choosing to be with no one and hook up with someone.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

They could be choosing no one and, like, let me just hook up with whoever I might meet or not.

[B]

Sure. But I'm saying that's bad, too.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's not great.

[B]

I'm just saying it's like it's either you two hanging out or they're. I'm staying home. Which is like.

[A]

Are you.

[B]

Well, let's go through the.

[A]

The. The. The. The. What are you. Okay, so let's say it's the week. Let's say it's the weekend before Halloween.

[B]

Which is now before Halloween. Okay.

[A]

We've been on six dates.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Halloween's coming up. What are you up to?

[B]

I don't know. I'm not a big Halloween guy.

[A]

All right. What does that mean?

[B]

That means you're avoiding that person.

[A]

You're avoiding that conversation.

[B]

Out of that conversation. Not a big Halloween guy. Okay. Because I would extend that. So you going to go out? Are you going to go to a party? Are you going to just stay home and avoid it? Like, I would live in the land of I. Like, I have this going on again. The reveal. I am going on Friday with my friends to a bar. We're all dressing up. What are you doing?

[A]

So start with the. Here's my, My plan, right?

[B]

If I'm four dates in with someone.

[A]

Hey, unless you want to start to with them. What are we doing?

[B]

What are we. What are we dressing at?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. So I am going with my friends to this Halloween party on Friday night. It's going to be awesome. Great. Oh, what are you doing? I'm gonna stay home. Well, do you want to come? Do you want to meet up?

[A]

And then he says, well, Halloween's not really my thing. Well, now you're over.

[B]

I get. I think it's over. Like, I Like not your thing.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, I don't even understand what that means. So you're gonna sit and stare at a wall the whole night? That's where. That's your Friday night. Like, this isn't. I have to wake up early for work. This isn't. I already did it the other.

[A]

On Thursday, it's, oh, yeah, I got plans. I've got some plans of friends of mine are having a thing at their apartment.

[B]

Oh, my God. Well, that's great. Do you want to get together that night?

[A]

You're. Well, you already said you have plans.

[B]

Well, you yourself, this guy really doesn't want to hang out.

[A]

But I know you got. I know you got plans. Of the girls. I wouldn't want to.

[B]

Wouldn't want to intrude.

[A]

Yeah, that's why. That's why it's tough to, to submit your plans, because you're like, I could ditch these for.

[B]

Well, I, I, I could get away from them, no problem. Yeah. No, I just think if you're not hanging before midnight, then what are you doing?

[A]

That's fair.

[B]

The sexiest night of the year. It is like the night where you let your freak flag fly a little bit and you're like, I don't want to hang with the person who will fuck me Right. So you must be wanting to, like, put that to bed. Beware of holidays, New Year's, Halloween, global pandemics, vacations, birthdays. They will all be a reveal to let you know what your thing is.

[A]

Indeed. All right, well, that brings us to our first question.

[B]

That brings me to my shows. Oh, yeah, you are Sorry if you are wanting.

[A]

Listen, where are you on Halloween this year?

[B]

I might be here. I don't know what I'm doing.

[A]

Oh, you have no. Like, you're not.

[B]

Like, I'm actually going to go to. You know what I'm going to do? My gym is having a Halloween party this weekend. We're taping this two weeks before your gym. Yeah.

[A]

You are very involved in your gym.

[B]

They have created a social space and they've really done a good job. Yeah, I actually, like, give them a lot of credit because I am an eye roller. I'm a hater.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And this place is called the Lab.

[A]

I mean, that's why I'm like, kind of impressed that they've gotten you.

[B]

They have gotten me. They have captured my heart.

[A]

I feel like in New York no one would ever be like, yeah, I'm going to my gym's Halloween party.

[B]

Totally agree.

[A]

Like, do you have any friends? Are you okay?

[B]

What's wrong with you, you loser?

[A]

Yeah, Equinox, you know, there's like a workout. There's like a Halloween themed Pilates class.

[B]

This is, to me, this is like this.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The reformer is a, is, is a. The reformer is a witch's broom flying back and forth. I, I think it's more of a small town thing. I think this is like the community I have missed because I'm not looking to just show up at a bar in my costume, you know, in my Superman outfit, you know, with a rose in my hand, hoping for a woman, you know, to be my lady for the night. Like, I, I kind of want like a structured thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they were like, we're do. They were like, we're having a live band at the gym. Like, dress up. And I'm like, I got a costume. I'm fine. I'm doing DC this weekend. Hopefully that sells a little bit better than it's been going. If you're in Milwaukee, Minneapolis and Chicago. Chicago looks like it's selling out. Minneapolis and Milwaukee. Like, I know people are buying the week of that's been happening for like the last year, basically with tickets, but I haven't really been in the theaters recently. So, like, the theater game is different. Well, it's also More stressful clubs. I'm like, yeah, week of, you know, there's five shows people can choose. When it's a theater, people they're like, hey, man.

[A]

Right?

[B]

You get that call. Hey, man.

[A]

I remember that from when we did the. The tour.

[B]

It's. There's nothing worse. There's nothing that feels better than a show that, like, sold well.

[A]

Right. You don't have to promote it anymore.

[B]

Yeah, there's nothing that feels worse than like, hey, so they're gonna, like, take out some chairs and they're gonna rearrange some things.

[A]

Would you mind taking a little bit of a cut from the guarantee?

[B]

Right. Would you mind not eating this month? And. And then, like, it just gets. It's. It's like, let's. None of this matters to anyone listening. Which is why I'm bringing it up on a podcast. But, you know, you have people message you, when are you coming to dc? I'm like, I was just there. I've been begging for weeks. And you. You feel like a beggar, but I'm like, giving a good show. So it's like. That's the frustrating part is like. And then, you know, the messages of, well, if the government shut down, I'm like, I don't need to hear the. Just don't talk to me. Just let's be.

[A]

Well, it's like, cool. It's like getting asked on a date. Like, there's a million reasons not to go, but if you really want there, you'll be. You guys are going out, right?

[B]

And I keep, like, to get to the money part of it, I keep my tickets very cheap because I want people to bring their friends.

[A]

Yeah. So.

[B]

And I know that's a tough ass to make. So you. I have the option and only buy tickets on my website. Don't go to, like, anywhere else. Don't go because I'll have someone message me. They're like, I don't know, man. 2,000 bucks for a ticket. I'm like. I'm like, are you kidding me? I literally say to these people, keep them cheap. As cheap as we can go.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because I want them to bring a friend who will become a fan. I believe in the product so much. I like, I believe this is your.

[A]

Version of like a money back guarantee, right?

[B]

Totally. Basically. But no money back. No money.

[A]

No money back.

[B]

So. No, but I believe that your friends will love it. Like, I'm not like someone.

[A]

Small barrier to entry.

[B]

Right. This isn't a tik tocker. You follow who had a show and is Going to ask people what they do for a living. I'm. And that's happening right now. And it's ruining. I think a lot of these tik tokers are ruining the live shows. Like, they're just doing them being fun on stage, which, if you like the person, you love it. But your friend's sitting there being like, I don't know the inside joke that they're doing.

[A]

Right. That's not what you're.

[B]

That's not what mine is. So bring your friends, family, whoever you want. I'll make them laugh. And if I don't, I'll come in the crowd and tickle them.

[A]

There you go. That's the guarantee.

[B]

That's okay. I will touch your mom underneath the armpits. So that's right. Bring your mom. Yeah. Oh, the gym. So I'm doing.

[A]

They're going to the gym.

[B]

I'm doing that this weekend before because I'm like, It seems like a fun time. Why not? I'll take my bicycle with my big bell.

[A]

I love it. You're gonna. You're getting a little community.

[B]

I am. This is a big part of the Delray move. This is what I've really enjoyed. So, yeah. Shout out to the lab. That's a great. It's a great gym. If you go visit. They do classes. Like I. They gotta put me on the tourism board. I am like, I. I think there's no better weekend away from a northeast city than Delray Beach, Florida. Like, I, I.

[A]

How are the hurricane season?

[B]

I haven't really seen it. Haven't seen it.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

I, I haven't experienced it. This is. I mean, listen, when I got a room for the baby.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For the twibblings.

[A]

For the twibblings.

[B]

Twings.

[A]

Twing room.

[B]

They don't like. They won't like their pants or anything. Right. They're.

[A]

No, they're born trained.

[B]

Okay, good. And Ronnie.

[A]

And Ronnie. Yeah. Ronnie invited.

[B]

He can get in bed with me. I'll tell Ron.

[A]

He will. He will nibble your ear. That's his new thing.

[B]

How does he know?

[A]

He gets in there.

[B]

Oh, good. Yeah. Okay.

[A]

You know those moments when your hands are full or your eyes need a break, but you still want to escape into a great story? That's why I'm such a fan of Audible. I listen all the time, whether I'm on a walk, commuting to the office, doing chores, or even just relaxing before bed. Audible's app makes it super easy to jump right into thousands of audiobooks anytime anywhere. I've mentioned before that one of my favorite movies is Pride and Prejudice and I'm excited that Audible is releasing a brand new audiobook version of the Jane Austen novel on September 9th. Narrated by Marissa Abela, Harris Dickinson, Glenn Close and other stars you know and love, Audible gives me the best of both worlds. I can enjoy a story I love while actually getting stuff done. They have thousands of titles, everything from romance to thrillers to memoirs, comedy and even self improvement. So whatever mood you're in, there's always something fresh and exciting waiting for you. And the app is super user friendly. You can download audiobooks to listen offline, adjust the narration speed, and pick up right where you left off across all your devices. If you've never tried Audible before, I can't recommend it enough. It's the easiest way to bring incredible stories into your everyday life. Trust me, once you start listening, you'll wonder how you ever went without it. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com UUP Fall is layering season, but it all starts with a good foundation. Honestly, one of the biggest pain points with bras and underwear is wearing stuff that looks good but doesn't feel good. It's really hard to find a company that will give you both, which is why I love that we're working with Skims. They have mastered the art of the perfect bra, perfect underwear. It's just really hard for women to find stuff that looks good on you and also like is really comfortable. I think that's just a universal struggle by many women. Recently I got the Fits Everybody full brief which is like their regular underwear which I am wearing all the time now. It's my favorite pair. I get annoyed when I wear it because then I have to wait until I wash all my underwear to wear it again. I also have the Bralette. It's a game changer. It lifts, it looks great. Super flattering, super cute, just the right amount of support and also incredibly comfortable. I haven't always loved bras. Who has? But with skims they are changing me into a bra lover. Shop my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, make sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Let's do email okay Hi Jared and Joanna. Love the POD and can't wait to see the Halloween costumes you're wearing this year. For context, I live in Chicago. I'm 27. And the guy I've been seeing is 28. We've been seeing each other for about three weeks. Gone on four really fun dates and text a lot in between. He's great with shared values and humor, and I'm really enjoying getting to know him. Sounds wonderful.

[B]

Sounds like this is it. You guys are getting married.

[A]

There we go. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, and I got invited to a friend's Halloween house party this Friday. And I'm wondering, is it too soon to ask him to come with me? I want it to be fun, but I also don't want to scare him off. Also, how much notice is fair to give him so he can coordinate costumes without it being last minute? Is it too soon to even suggest a couple's costume? Probably would love to know your thoughts. Trying not to scare him off.

[B]

It's funny. Like, this started in a place of, like, good.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're thinking about this guy. You should spend Halloween together. And she's like, I just don't know if there's time for us both to grow out our pubes to be Adam and Eve.

[C]

Adam.

[B]

I had nowhere to go with that. Thank you for, you know, finishing my sentence.

[A]

I had to. Had to go there.

[B]

It's a real, you know, pro podcast move. Right? Like, I. So it got a little, like, there's a listen.

[A]

Started off, loved it. Pure rational.

[B]

Right. And it devolved, then devolved to. I just don't know. What do you think?

[A]

Quick rule off the top of my head. Inviting him. Of course. Yeah, do it. That's great.

[B]

Never too early to invite someone you like to a party.

[A]

You could do that after one date. Yes.

[B]

Let's go through. Before we get. Before. Let's go through him being annoyed you invited him to a party. Like, I. I'll be him talking. You're my. His friends.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Jordana. Can you believe I'm. I've been on like, four dates with this chick. She's awesome, she's hot. We really get along well. Can you believe she invited me to a Halloween party?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Are you kidding me? What is this chick crazy? One day, like, if someone. If someone said that to you, you'd be like, you're.

[A]

You're crazy.

[B]

You're crazy. Like, let's not live in the reality that. That make us believe is real. Like this. The idea that these guys. Guys are out there calling women crazy for being like, hey, I thought of you. I just wanted to have this really fun party. I would love for you to come to. Like, that's no One's crazy for doing that.

[A]

Even one date, one day. I think you went on a great date. What are you doing? I'm going to this party. If you want to. If you want to come by, it's supposed to be really fun.

[B]

This is the difference. And this is a big thing we talk about here. Of you want that. We want more Main street dating. We don't want back alley dating. This is why women are getting with. They're doing back alley dating. They don't want to have to deal. And I get it, they don't want to have to deal with their friends and family. What happened to Jason? Where's Jared? Weren't you seeing a guy? I know those questions are annoying, but that's the cost of admission, of getting answers you deserve and want.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So a Main street date, back alley date, first day we got drinks. That's a back alley date. You gotta have them. But it's back alley. Hey, my friends are having this great Halloween party. Would love for you to come. That's a Main street date you're on.

[A]

Seeing how you live.

[B]

Right. You're on the parade route, everyone's looking at you. And that doesn't mean. Again, like, that doesn't mean you're together. It doesn't mean that you're like engaged to be engaged. It just means he's okay with seeing, you know, seeing your friends and dealing with the consequences that he has to deal with.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Hey, you met my friends. I thought you were, like, serious about dating. That's a real conversation.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So. But I would say the. The extreme like that, where she goes with it.

[A]

Couples costume. No.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You're not there yet. No, no.

[B]

Couples costume.

[A]

Couples costumes are for couples.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Established couples. Right. I think, like, you gotta.

[B]

You gotta know a parent to go. Couples costume. I think, yes.

[A]

I think that's a good rule of thumb. You've met the parents.

[B]

If you've met a mom. I think someone out there has. I mean, couples costume without that. But I'm saying I wouldn't do a.

[A]

Couple'S costume with someone who is not my boyfriend.

[B]

Yeah. I wouldn't do it with a. Not my girlfriend.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, what if you're going to this party, she's like, I'm gonna. I'll stop by your apartment first. She stops by, she has a costume for you that goes with her costume.

[B]

See, it would be different if I. Especially if we go back to the original, like what we were talking about before.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm not really a Halloween guy. Come on. I'M going. Halloween, I'm dressing up. I'll pick you up. Okay, fine, I'll go. I brought you a costume. That's cute. That's fun, right? Like, that's a different thing. I, I, this idea, like, also, if you go to a party together, this idea that he's like, well, I don't want to, like, maybe I'll, you know, end up with someone else. I don't want people thinking we're together, that that's over. You walked in together, right. You know, so it's like, that's not that big a deal.

[A]

Unless he's like the worst person.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Like, like cartoonishly evil character if he did that.

[A]

Right? So, okay, so four dates, she invites you to the party, you're into it, you say, that's that. If you're into her, you're probably going.

[B]

Would love to go.

[A]

What if she followed that with. I know it's super short notice, but I was thinking this for a couple's costume. Like, what do you think?

[B]

I think.

[A]

Would that scare you away?

[B]

It wouldn't scare me away as much as it would tell me who she is. Like, oh, she's a nudge. She's on her. She is going to.

[A]

That's how she's like, she thinks we're in a relationship.

[B]

It's not even that as much as because I'm signing up for it. I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, I'll go out with you. That'd be great. So I have a costume already. Like, that is someone. Now I'm getting a personality trait.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because now I'm gonna say, oh, she's the one that is going to talk to the manager if our hotel room isn't up to snuff.

[A]

But you like that.

[B]

There's, there's good and there's bad.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know, also, she is going to be like, it's just controlling. A little controlling. And listen, that's. We are all our own, you know.

[A]

There'S people who into that. Into them, right?

[B]

Like, that's not good bad or anything. That just is like, like, if someone said that to me, I'd be like, oh, this chick is on her. Like, Like, I've talked to girls in the past where I'm like, I just know what the deal is, you know? Like, and would you do. Would really? I, I would probably do it because I'm one of those people that goes along to get along.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I'd be like, oh, I guess. Yeah, sure. But I also like dressing up myself, so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hey, I. I would have a costume.

[A]

You could say, I already have a costume.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, no, I'm already all set. No, well, I already have this other costume. I'd be like, well, hold on. We have to have a negotiation here.

[A]

Right? And you're not even like, again.

[B]

Yeah, I just think that would be. Tell me everything I need to know.

[A]

Right?

[B]

It's. It's like, right. Like there's. There are these things that aren't scaring me away. They're just telling me who you are, are okay. And I think that's a big part of dating that's good. Which is good, right?

[A]

That's who you are.

[B]

The idea that like scare. I hate the phrase scare away in dating because it kind of, it kind of like makes. Lets people off the hook. Like you're just being you and acting normal. You on their emotions a little bit and they're reacting to their circumstance and who you are and deciding whether that's gonna make them better off or not. You know, like the scare away. Like.

[A]

Well, is it more like they're, you know, they're delusionally, like too far ahead in this, whatever is going on here?

[B]

No.

[A]

Is that more. More. Maybe it's more that, like you're reading them as too invested for the point in time that you're at.

[B]

I don't think people are crazy. Like, I'm trying to live in the. Really in the. People are crazy. But I don't think, like I've been in situations where I've been dating someone and I know they're farther ahead than I am. They see it and I'm sitting there being like, I need to see it. I don't see it. I'm not where they are. And I get to the point where I go, I don't think I can catch up up to that point. And am I scared?

[A]

Right? I guess, like, it's more like, I guess turn off, turned off. Let's call it turned off.

[B]

I guess turned off wouldn't be even how I would describe it because I'm like, man, those are great qualities that I'm just like, not at that point yet.

[A]

I guess I think I would be turned off. I went on like two dates with someone and they're suggesting a couple's costume. Maybe. Maybe I mean the same thing as you, but I think I would more defined it as turned off. Right.

[B]

But would you. Do you think that it could ever happen with that person? That. That's my point. Like, scared wouldn't imply that had you done it differently.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It would be a different result.

[A]

I guess. I see what you're saying. It's like you would be a different person if you had done it differently.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So they just don't want to date you.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

You know, that's a good point. I don't know. I. This is a great scarier. Scarier.

[A]

Scare them off or scared Scarier or.

[B]

Or there's another word I'm looking for. It's like scarier. They're just being reasonable. Like, I like, are they scared? Are they just looking at it for what it is? Like, I think again, we talk about the reveal all the time and like, the reveal. Oh, I shouldn't have done that because I scared him away. No, you just said how you felt.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And they decided they didn't feel that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So let's do a creepier cute.

[A]

We've got a pop culture creepy beer cute today.

[B]

I love this. It's time for creepier cute, the segment where we put couples under the microscope and decide if it's a relationship goal or a red flag behavior. Starting with Kristen Bell's latest post. Okay, I kind of wanted to see decide if this was annoying or not annoying. Like, okay. I think couples and people, we follow people on social media and they do things as a couple on social media. And it's like, am I sending the screenshot to friends to be like, look at these weirdos, or am I liking it and I'm happy for them.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what I mean? And I think that's like the Kristen.

[A]

Just depends on your mood.

[B]

So let's describe the Kristen Bell photo. It is her. Like.

[A]

An embrace.

[B]

This is more than an embrace. Well, she also looks kind of childlike. I'm not like, I saw this. I was like. I was like, is that his kid?

[A]

Because she looks, like, small. She looks compared to him especially.

[B]

So it's Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell who have become known for doing weird anniversary posts. They. This is something they do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And he's sitting on the bed and she's got her legs kind of wrapped around him and they're in this huge, loving embrace. And then here's the caption. Ready?

[A]

I'm ready.

[B]

Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me, I would never kill you. A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I'm heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would heart. Now, is this creepy or cute?

[A]

I think it's cute. Okay. I think it's cute. People thought it was Insensitive. People thought it was like, it's national domestic domestic something. Violence Awareness Month.

[B]

Well, he didn't say some. Most husbands slap their wives.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't think that it was. I felt like that was too literal of a. Yes. You're trying to, like, catch someone in something. I don't think it was.

[B]

Right. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Dvam, if you're going through something right now, here's a number you can call. It is 1-800-799-SAFE-7233. So we always want to make sure that we make those numbers available for people. But also, I don't think people do the.

[A]

The.

[B]

I think the problem is. And, you know, we're a podcast where we talk about relationships, and it's always nice that we acknowledge the wide spectrum of an issue. So when we talk about, like, someone going through something, we're like, this could be very, very dangerous. This could be, you know, in the. The fun part of dating, you know, like, they, like, you know, I don't.

[A]

Think that's what this is.

[B]

Right. That's not what this is. But when people make it that you go, I kind of go, we gotta back away. Fun's over.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, like. Like someone. All it takes is one person and be like. Bring up the most serious.

[A]

The worst thing you could possibly like, the. The worst possible scenario of what she's doing.

[B]

Right. And that's not fair to them.

[A]

Yes. And it's caught. It's very obviously, to me, a joke. It's not like.

[B]

Right. You know, if you're a friend and. What? It's different, I guess, if it's your friend. If it's your neighbor on Long Island.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That they do this. Are you still saying it's cute?

[A]

I mean, I. Mike and I joke about murdering each other all the time.

[B]

Sure. As one couple does.

[A]

You know, I listen to a lot of true crime, and whenever we go on a hike, I'm like, this would be a great place for you to kill me.

[B]

Right?

[A]

This would be a great place for you to kill me. Like, it's a little weird, but that's kind of like what I'd. You know, it's like one of those weird little couple things.

[B]

I.

[A]

Listen, I'm not sure if I would say it, so, I mean, I guess I just did say it publicly, but.

[B]

Well, you know, it's like the alternative is I Love my husband. 12 years anniversary. It's a nothing post.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I'm with you.

[A]

A little funny.

[B]

They're being A little funny call.

[A]

It's cute, right?

[B]

It is cute. It is. It's not something that I would read and go, can you believe these? They would have to be for me to. I would have to already hate them.

[A]

Right? That's what I'm saying. I think to, like, make it about that is you're looking for something to validate a feeling you already have about them.

[B]

Right. So is there a couple's anniversary posts that would make you enraged?

[A]

Pookie and Jet?

[B]

What's there? What was their anniversary post?

[A]

Oh, no. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just saying, like, is there, like, like, if they did this, maybe they would never do. They would never do this. This.

[B]

They would never do this.

[A]

They would never do this.

[B]

Theirs would be. Every day has been greater than.

[A]

Every day has been fire.

[B]

Every. Every day has been fire.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I would hate a couple. I think it's annoying if a couple did, like, an impersonation of a Pookie and Jet. Every day is fire with my Pooky, I'd be like, that's ridiculous. It's not even your thing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. I, I, I don't know if an I don't like the anniversary post that, like, hints at they're having issues.

[A]

Do you think this one does?

[B]

This one shows we are a couple. We like each other.

[A]

Yeah. Because if I was, like, fighting with you, I wouldn't. No, do this. Cap. This is a caption you do when you are very much not in, like, comfy, cozy. Yes.

[B]

When I think if you did this.

[A]

Post on the rocks, that would be really weird, right?

[B]

I would say so. I just. Whenever someone's post, it says, like, the highs and lows. If you say highs and lows, I'm just like, thank God I'm not in that relationship. If you say, another year around the sun. Get me away from that couple. If you say something about forever, you're stuck with me.

[A]

Partner in crime.

[B]

Partner in crime. Get out of here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do a heart with the number. That's kind of nice.

[A]

Well, that's why I think that, yeah, I think that any sort of, like, overly sentimental or, like, again, kind of, like, weirdly hinting at something post is a really bad sign of the relationship. Because I do. Because you're kind of like, you're trying to show the world that you're okay.

[B]

Whereas also going, we need to be honest because there might be people who would call us out.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think if you really, if you really are doing well in your Relationship, then like. And you had something really nice to say, I think you would just say it. It to your partner.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, thank you.

[B]

There's a few people I follow on social media where I'm like, this person's. The. The. This has. I. Sometimes I cheer against the relationship.

[A]

You're hoping they break up.

[B]

Yeah. There's a couple where I'm like, there's one person right now that I'm tracking, and it is like they famous couple or like, no, this is so not famous that it's like. Like st. It's crazier of me than it is.

[A]

All right, you'll tell me off air.

[B]

I'll show you. Yeah, it is.

[A]

I've been watching the longer the captions.

[B]

Well, this goes on to tick tock and going on and on about, you know, what's amazing about this guy. And I'm like, no guy wants to be known as amazing. I'm just telling you right now.

[A]

What does he want to be known as?

[B]

Just don't know us at all. Just look by us. Like, we don't want.

[A]

What would you want your wife to say about you? Publicly?

[B]

Publicly.

[A]

I think you'd prefer a post like this.

[B]

I'd prefer this. Or I would prefer, like, if they're gonna post something, they have to post something. What would I prefer? Yeah, probably a picture where a heart. Yeah. You know, not the love of my life. I don't need that.

[A]

You're like, life's a long time.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, let's. We're doing okay right now. Yeah, maybe that. We're doing okay right now. I don't know. But that's kind of what I said before. I. I don't know. I don't know if I need it, you know?

[A]

Do you need it?

[B]

Do you guys do an anniversary post, like, online?

[A]

Yeah, I would do like, a heart or like a picture. You know, it's a good excuse to post one of my great wedding pictures. Yeah. I don't do, like. I don't do sentimental messages to Mike on Instagram because I prefer the card mechanism.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I prefer to get a card. I like. I like something that feels like it's private. Like, you know.

[B]

Right. I. I guess, you know, like, I don't do, like, I don't need everyone.

[A]

Else to see how much he likes.

[B]

My mom and dad when they have a birthday. Father's Day. Mother's Day. I don't do, like, the. This is the greatest woman in the world. Like, I don't have any need for that.

[A]

Gross.

[B]

And, yeah, I, I'm like, I like these people. They're fine.

[A]

Right. Well that's kind of like, that's the comedy, the comedian also like in you. You're not that super earnest, sentimental person.

[B]

It's funny because my brother's wife, she's like a very like huggy, touchy feely type.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And she's from a family of all women.

[A]

That makes sense.

[B]

Which is like, that's.

[A]

Does your brother do any of that stuff?

[B]

Not really.

[A]

Would you say something if you did?

[B]

My, my, my parents and I would talk about him behind his back.

[A]

You'd be like, look at this loser loves his wife.

[B]

Right. It was like, did you see what Harry did? Like we got, we would do that. But that's the fun of family.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

I mean, it's hard, it's hard to the other one.

[A]

It's hard to be too earnest on the Internet.

[B]

It doesn't feel like, that's why this.

[A]

One like doesn't feel like an earnest place.

[B]

I think the people who give feedback to this are way worse than the post itself.

[A]

Yeah, the post is like fine.

[B]

Yeah, the post is fine.

[A]

I didn't think it was like hysterical, but I didn't think it was offensive and I thought it was like cute and funny and actually did feel real. Because like, again, I think a lot of couples see this. I can't be the only one who is like, we kind of joke about this a lot.

[B]

Each day we, you know, each day the commenters out themselves as the most, you know, emotionally deranged people on earth. Like, it gets, you know, worse and worse because it's like we're just letting you know, what are you going to say to them? Because morally, if you, you know, the crazy person's answer to a thing is to take a moral high ground. Like that's like a crazy thing.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's what I'm in a position where they're anti domestic violence or they're pro domestic.

[A]

You know that that's not what they mean.

[B]

Right. That's a crazy person angle to take. You know, like, like that's actually a mean thing to do to someone.

[A]

Like, right.

[B]

I had someone, they sent me a message through my website about how I say we're all narcissists. And I think when I say that it's pretty clear that I'm saying we're all just a little bit into ourselves. You know, we're all self centered and it's not meant to like diagnose us all with nars. They wrote this whole long thing about nars, I was like. And then at the end they're like, like they write exactly what I mean. Like at the end of their thing they're like, they're like, it's different when it's self centered. I'm like, so you got it. That's the difference between the intention with which I said something that's different.

[A]

Between telling a joke in a stand up, in like stand up versus on Twitter when you can get 700 people's real time.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, if you said the same joke, it wouldn't even be that interesting or dark online. Like, and in person.

[B]

Well, in person, you know, laughter is an involuntary reaction. That's why people who are offended get so mad at it because they're like, oh, everyone here meant that.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, everyone here agreed with what that that was funny. Saw truth in that, saw the truth. And now I'm mad about it because look at how happy everyone else is. And it's like, I, you know, I don't care if people are offended. I, I understand. I also, sometimes people are offending the right, like occasionally.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Before enemies to lovers, there was Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. Pride and Prejudice is globally recognized as one of the greatest romance novels ever written. And with Audible, you can now fall in love with the Jane Austen classic all over again. The Audible original Pride and Prejudice stars a full cast including Marisa Abella as Elizabeth Bennett and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy. Plus Marianne, John Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill Nighy, and Glenn Close as Lady Catherine deborgh, all bringing brillian and performance to transport you to the Regency era. Marisa Abella brings you inside the stubborn and complicated mind of Elizabeth Bennett as she navigates family expectations, societal pressures, and her own misconceptions. When she meets the enigmatic Mr. Darcy, the new adaptation is vibrant and modern with an original new score by a Grammy nominated composer. Whether you're new to the story of Pride and Prejudice or want to revisit a cherished favorite, you're in for a new and delightful listening experience. Listen to the new Pride and [e-mail] Jane Austen.

[C]

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[B]

All right, let's do it.

[A]

Let's do another one. You got it.

[B]

I'll do it. J and J love your podcast. Listen to it like it's my religion.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

Okay, now the definition of not, I can tell you it's what gets me through the workday. Jared, I saw you live in Madison in 2022 and it's still my favorite live comedian podcast performance.

[A]

Get your tickets people.

[B]

We don't write these emails for them.

[A]

Favorite live comedian performance.

[B]

Or maybe we do. Let's get into it. I'm 34 female. My partner's 30 male. We have been dating for eight months and are currently living together. Quick, right? That is quick.

[A]

Maybe not for her.

[B]

Well, not for her. Right? You're right. We've been dating for eight months and are currently living together. We have gone ring shopping and discuss wedding plans. We are head over heels for each other. Recently my sex drive has been non existent. We used to do it daily but ever since we started cohabitating and planning a future, it's maybe two times a week. I gotta ask you, Jordana, that to me every day, like good for you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Twice a week.

[A]

That's. I wouldn't say that non existent. That is definitely not non existent.

[B]

No, it's. I guess sex changes when you move in together.

[A]

Yes. Well, it's interesting. This is an interesting case. I mean we could finish the email and then I'll give the.

[B]

The sex is great. He' a very attentive partner inside and outside the bedroom, we did have a pregnancy scare and have gotten stricter about condom use. Also, my partner tends to wait for me to initiate but is always willing. Lol. I'm not sure if it's the constant condom sex or lack of the exciting feeling from going to each other's houses at night that has made my libido drop. Jordana, I'd love to hear from you. If it's common for women to lose sex drive when a relationship gets more solid, can condom sex really be a factor? I have bought sex games and toys to spice things up, but most days I'm not even interested in trying anything new.

[A]

You.

[B]

How can I discuss with my partner that maybe I need him to initiate in romantic ways? Any advice will help SOS save our sex life.

[A]

Yeah, I think this is an interesting scenario because it's like, it's not like they've been together so long, but they're moving quite quickly. I would say objectively, this is like a quicker timeline.

[B]

Right. And. And also the things they're discussing kind of are out pacing the length of the. Right.

[A]

Right. Which is fine. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I could see why that might expedite a sort of like lack of sexual excitement.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Not that they're. Again, I don't think two times a week is any. Is like you're having. You're in a crisis mode and like you have absolutely. What does she call it? Non ex. That is not non existent. Right.

[B]

And save our sex life seems pretty extreme. Like, it's weird how reasonable the email is written with a lot of extreme language when it comes to the sexual next lives.

[A]

Right. Well, it seems like she's like, has a fear of this kind of like being the beginning of the end. It's kind of what I'm getting here.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Is like, how do I. You know, we've been together eight months and I'm already not interested. So.

[B]

Right.

[A]

What does this mean? I think she's trying to like, analyze it and be like, is this a. Is this a warning sign? Is this a problem? And I don't necessarily think it is. I think it's like something that she should talk about with him. If that's. If that. Because I think there's no right or wrong amount of times to have sex. There's no right around or wrong amount of like, ways to do it. It's more about like, are you on the same page? And I think people don't like to talk about It. Because it takes away from the feeling of that feeling of excite. Like, she says, we used to go to each other's apartments. That was more exciting. Now we're, like, together every night.

[B]

Right? And I think when you go to each other's apartments, there's a little bit of, like. Like, I think all. When you go to each other's apartments, it's like you're both making it happen.

[A]

Right.

[B]

When you're living together, you kind of see that who's the initiator and who's the not.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, it's a little more clear. And I think maybe she's coming. And. And like, when you live with someone, and I've lived with someone before, reality sets in.

[A]

She's the. Right. And she's the initiator.

[B]

She's the initiator. And maybe she feels like when. You know, for the two times a week, it's like, all right, we gotta. We gotta do it right? And, you know, he. If he's not doing anything, but he's just like. Sure. That can feel like a lot. Like you're taking a lot of excitement out of it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can I just say, the condom part, I think, is like a. Not a thing.

[A]

I don't think the co. The use of the condoms is a thing. I do think maybe a pregnancy scare could be, like, again, I think it's just like anything that adds more reality, right. To a relationship. Like, the beginning of the relationship is, like, so. I think is so hot and heavy because you're like, I don't know where this is going. Like, this is so exciting and new and, like, it could maybe end next week and it could maybe go on forever. Like, who knows what's going on? I think something about, like, a pregnancy scare maybe, like, brings you into more of a world of reality or you're talking about rings. I think that gives you more of a world of real. And like, again, stability is beautiful, but it's not that. That sexy.

[B]

Right.

[A]

The idea getting. Having potential, getting scared you're gonna have a baby, you don't want one is.

[B]

And then you. And end up acting more careful. Careful is just less sexy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And, yeah, I. But I think the condom is itself.

[A]

I agree. I don't think the condom use itself is like a.

[B]

A big part of this email is that she never mentions a conversation she had with him.

[A]

Right. Well, that's what she's asking for is like, how do I. How do I have this conversation?

[B]

Well, I think, like, right now she's gone from, like, he like non existent. You know the words she's using but.

[A]

Like, yeah, don't use that language with him because it's not, it's also not true.

[B]

It's just not. It might be true for her. It's not helpful. Yeah, it's not helpful. I, I just think like this email came be to us be for like.

[A]

It probably other steps should have been taken.

[B]

I think you got to go to him and be like, what's, you know, how do you fe. I think how do you open ended questions are better than like, do you think our sex life is over? Like, I think like, like I think how do you feel about our sex life is like a good way to start the conversation if you're looking for starters. Yeah, I think I feel staying in I language like this is all like stuff that everyone knows or you know, I'm not. Yeah. You know that it's harder to do than it is for me to say. But I, I think like the idea that you went from every night to twice a week week is not that crazy a thing, especially as you're living together. And I think you got to talk to him about it.

[A]

Yeah. And I think that's like, if you're looking at rings, this is the kind of conversation. And again, it's not even about the sex. It's about learning how to talk about anything that's I'm sure at eight months in there's not that many things that you've had that are like quote unquote issues as a couple.

[B]

It is weird that she's bringing. Buying toys and buying games and he's just like, cool. Like I, like I would need a little more out of the other of a discussion.

[A]

Yes. I would do a discussion outside the bedroom.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Ask over dinner. Whatever it is. Asking him what, you know, what he thinks about, you know, the way your sex life has changed as you've gotten, you know, as you moved in together and sort of entered this new phase. You could bring, I think you could bring up the pregnancy scare. If that's something you think he might, that might be in his head.

[B]

I, I have an idea for them if they want to like do something exciting and to talk about it. You have dinner. I call it my three note dinner. Okay. You go to a nice place for dinner. It doesn't have to be crazy nice. It could be, you know, nice enough to have a glass of wine. And before the dinner you have to come prepared with three notes. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

One each of you, Each of you one sex thing. You like Doing together. One sex thing you're not really a fan of and one sex thing you've dreamt about.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then you start with the liking thing. During the appetizer, during the dinner, you exchange the thing you would like to be better. Not like, I think it would like to be better.

[A]

Okay. Needs improvement.

[B]

Needs improvement.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's a better way to put it. And then during dessert, you do the thing you've dreamt about.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

Exchange those throughout the meal. It'll get you talking and do it on, like, note cards. And that's like. And that could be exciting. I'm sure your heart will be pumping a little bit and it'll add, like, a little element. But it also gets you talking about, like, the positives, the negatives, and the. And the dream scenario.

[A]

And maybe one of her things is like, what needs improvement is like, I would love to be like for you to initiate.

[B]

Right. And some people are like, that's stupid. I don't need to gamify this. Hey, why don't you initiate? You can do that. But I'm saying this.

[A]

This acts like a sexiness. Yeah. I think in less of a, like, I think not. Not. What kills these conversations is the feeling of, like, being judged or feeling of being like you're done something wrong. And I think it's more of like, your sex life is something that you both just, like, work on. It's like a group project that you're working on together. Not like someone's responsibility.

[B]

Right. That's why the three notes dinner. Like, you're just having fun with your partner.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And we're working on this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you know, in a way that's not like, we gotta work on this, like, you know. Right.

[A]

But make it fun. Make it a game. I love the idea of making it a game.

[B]

Yeah. So I think the kooky real estate woman will have that out next month.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

As one of her challenges on the Today show.

[A]

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[C]

When did making plans get this complicated?

[A]

It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the.

[C]

Secure messaging app that brings the whole group together.

[A]

Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] let's play a game. Let's do some red flag.

[B]

Deal breaker. The game that's sweeping the country. You're dating someone, One thing happens. Is it a red flag? You notice it, but move on. Is it a deal breaker? It's over. What do you think? Go for it.

[A]

Let's do it. Okay.

[B]

Go ahead.

[A]

I think you're. It's, you know. Isn't me.

[B]

I did. I'll do it again. Listen, I'm pregnant. I'm not gonna make a pregnant woman work. Carry this show.

[A]

I know. I still know how to read. Jared. You don't lose. You do.

[B]

I thought that was like a part.

[A]

Of the pregnancy that's not a symptom. Yeah.

[B]

J and J. Happy now. Hey, jj. Happy Halloween. Thought I'd write in with a funny ghosting story in time for the holidays. So me, 24 and a guy, 28, met at the beginning of September. Things were going really well early on. We were talking every day and went out a few times during the week. So I figured it was safe to invite him to my annual Halloween party. Oh, here we go. I went all out for the party and dressed as an extra creepy Medusa, complete with colored contacts. He barely made any effort on a costume. Showed up with a fake mustache. That should have been a warning sign. He went quiet the moment he saw me. At first I thought maybe he was just nervous. But the next day, he stopped. He stopped responding entirely. Weeks later, I ran into a mutual friend who mentioned that my costume weirded him out.

[A]

Out.

[B]

And not kidding, it reminded him of an ex. Apparently she was just a little too over the top for no reason, and he was turned off. So J and J. Red flagger. Deal breaker. My costume was creepy Medusa. What do you think?

[A]

I mean it. Funny. This brings us back to sort of like the first thing about the couple's costume and thing like that. It's like she's showing who she is. And it's entirely possible that he was like, this is not really my type.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

Doesn't mean she shouldn't have done it.

[B]

Absolutely. I think Creepy Medusa. Like, there's no, like, costume that would make me. I guess I can't say that. I don't know.

[A]

That's like, maybe she's. Again, she's. She goes all in.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then again, it's not about the costume. It's about, like. She takes this thing really seriously. That doesn't. He's a guy who shows up at a party with a fake mustache. Right. He's. You're. Maybe you're just not a match.

[B]

I'd say not just maybe.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You're definitely not a match.

[A]

Is. The ghosting thing is, like, messed up, but, like.

[B]

Right. Reminded me of my ex. And creepy costume are two different reasons.

[A]

Well, I could see.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Remind me of my ex in that you're reminding me of this kind of person that I dated and then realized was not for me. And now I'm seeing myself repeat the same trend. And I don't think I should go down that road.

[B]

Right. And you know what's funny? Men never get that allowance. Women. You hear that from women all the time. I'm repeating the same mistakes. I'm dating the same type of guy. And, like, that's what he's saying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm dating the same type of woman. The last one, you know, dressed as a sphinx.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, I.

[A]

You know, it was, like, a little much.

[B]

It just wasn't my game. And I don't know what I'm doing here.

[A]

There. Yeah.

[B]

I gotta start dating librarians who don't say much.

[A]

There's some guys who would love this.

[B]

I would love it.

[A]

You would love it.

[B]

If you're into Halloween, awesome.

[A]

Doesn't matter how unattract. If you're. Even if you're like, the worm.

[B]

Hol, I think the weirder you go on Halloween, the hotter it is to me. I'm more into it.

[A]

I don't agree. For men.

[B]

Really.

[A]

I think it depends. I think there's, like, a line.

[B]

But that's.

[A]

Again, this is the right.

[B]

This is a match thing. This isn't about, you know, it's. This is like the ick. One woman's ick is another woman's husband.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So that's.

[A]

I don't think she's done anything wrong.

[B]

Yeah, she's done nothing wrong. That's the fun of the ick. When the ick becomes not fun. It's when women are like, I don't like men who have, you know, the ick is brown hair. And you're like, well, that's just not your type.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, that's just to make the person who does something evil. That's the bad part. So, like, Medusa woman. Keep being Medusa.

[A]

Yeah, someone's going to love that. Jared's going to love that.

[B]

I'm in.

[A]

Send him a picture.

[B]

I'll. My. I'll make my dick turn to stone from you.

[A]

Yeah, that's very. It's very creative, right? Yeah.

[B]

All right, let's do another one.

[A]

Okay. Hey, J.J. i need your advice on potential dating Red Flag. So my girlfriend really loves Halloween. I enjoy it, too, but she loves to match. Not with me. Her cat is Cat? Yes, her cat. Okay. I rolled with it for three Halloweens. Now, I wasn't desperate to do a couple's costume anyway, but she asked me for a couple's costume idea this year, and when I realized it wasn't for me and her, it kind of stung that I wasn't even in the running Red Flag or deal breaker. Your girlfriend does a couple's costume with her cat instead of you.

[B]

Oh, I. I. Oh, I thought. I thought we were being Batman and Robin. Nope. I guess it's you and Whiskers. Would you.

[A]

I feel like you'd be into this. You'd be like, great.

[B]

I'm okay with it. I do understand where he's like, am I not in this family?

[A]

Why didn't the three of you do a costume?

[B]

Well, that's my advice to this guy. Like, find out what they're dressing as and then just show up. Like, if they're right. If they're like two monkeys. You're a banana.

[A]

Get into it.

[B]

Like, get into it. And, like, don't tell her. This is your girlfriend. Like, that's fun. Like, the idea that her and the cat, like, share this and, like, don't want anyone involved. Yeah. Like, that's crazy.

[A]

Well, it is weird that she wouldn't want him involved. Is, like, a family thing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, we're.

[B]

And also, does she need all the attention? Like, to me, if I was dating a girl who's like, oh, I do this with a cat, and, like, you're out. I'm not really. Like, people really love it when I do it with the cat. I'd be like, you're a little bit, like, up your own ass.

[A]

That's what I would say. If it was a guy, too. If he was like, no, no, no. Me and, like, me and my cat do the this costume every year. You're not invited. I would be like, that's weird.

[B]

Right? How much do you need this attention?

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, you don't want to do, like, us doing, like, the whole. Where we can all. There's plenty of. We could be the Adams Founders. Right? Yeah. The cat's it, you know, or a thing. Your cousin it, you know, Wednesday.

[A]

Right. It would be weird for someone to not. I think it would be a red flag for someone not to, like, want to bring you into that after three.

[B]

Years especially, I think it's a red flag as well. It's not a deal breaker, but it's like, like, that's why my. The advice is, like, just find out and show up and, and include yourself and see how that goes down.

[A]

Well, he says, I wasn't desperate to do a couple's costume anyway, so maybe she thinks he, like, likes not doing it. I don't know if he's vocalized to her that it kind of, like, thinks it's a little weird that he's not involved. Like, maybe she's like, oh, he loves doing his own thing.

[B]

Yeah. It's funny that he's like, I wasn't really into it, but I'm gonna write into a podcast about how I'm really upset about it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's very male.

[A]

That's very male. I don't really care, though, but, like, you know, it hurt my feelings and I've been crying about it all day.

[B]

Right. I. I think he's got to this.

[A]

Ron and I are doing a costume this year. He. That would be weird. I'd.

[B]

It would be weird. And, like, good luck to you is, like, it, it also, like, I think a very male thing, too, is, like, this. Like, you know, when you're with someone to, like, feel like you're not being tended to, like, this feels very, like, oh, I guess, like, you don't care about this unit. You're not really, like, the, you're not taking on the role of, like, making sure we're all okay.

[A]

Right. We're all involved and included. Yeah.

[B]

And, and, like, because he, like, even the languaging of the email is like, yeah, it's not like I care, you know, like, the way he's saying that, like, I'm, I'm even having moments where I'm like, yeah, man, I, I, this is kind of up.

[A]

Right. Right. Well, it's funny that she asked him for an idea and he assumed it was for him.

[B]

Yeah, I got plenty of ideas. I've been thinking about it all year.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And then she's like, yeah, me and Whiskers are good to go.

[A]

Be a little vulnerable. Tell her you feel, like, a little left out.

[B]

I thought we were all doing this, and now it's you and the cat licking each other.

[A]

Yeah. Red. I would say red flag.

[B]

Red flag. But more of a red flag than I thought it would be.

[A]

Be.

[B]

Like, at first, when I read That I was like, oh, that's funny. And then I was like, this is.

[A]

Her and the cat's thing.

[B]

Okay, weirdo. Okay, last one. Long time listener. Thanks for all the advice over the years. I wanted to hear your opinion on my situation. Over the past year, I've been dating this guy, let's call him Daniel. And it's been great. In the beginning, I thought he was really humble, down to earth and funny. Slowly I found out he came from a lot of money, mind you. He lived in a one bedroom apartment in the city. Then I found out it was kind of.

[A]

That's a big. Is she saying that as a, as a He's poor thing?

[B]

I don't know what that was.

[A]

One bedroom in the city is, Is expensive, right?

[B]

Maybe it's a rich thing because she doesn't really put an emotion behind it. I, when I first read it, I was like, oh, she's saying like, how would I ever know he had money? But then maybe it is.

[A]

It was unclear. Right. One bedroom in the city could go either way, depending on who you're asking.

[B]

I, I am currently. A friend has given me their apartment for the week.

[A]

Oh, that's nice.

[B]

Which is very nice. I can't thank them enough. They have an amazing apartment. Like where is it? West Village.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

One bedroom.

[A]

Is it the baby?

[B]

Not the baby.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The baby. They're on the Upper west side. They should be on the tourism bureau for the Upper west side. They talk about the Upper west side. Like everyone should move here.

[A]

It's cute there.

[B]

People like it.

[A]

Anyway, so one bedroom could go again? I'm not sure. I'm not sure if she's saying it means he's rich or it means she would never. And she would never see.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know?

[B]

How would I know?

[A]

No. Yeah.

[B]

Then I found out it was the kind of money. Well, maybe it is. Slowly I found out he came from a lot of money. I think the mind you is the problem.

[A]

Right? Mind you means like, like how I would. How I, I, I would get away with not knowing that.

[B]

Right? So I don't know.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

Then I found out it was the kind of money where his parents own multiple houses and a 75, 000 acre ranch in Montana.

[A]

That is a huge amount of land.

[B]

Montana house rich is a different type of rich. That's like Jackson. People love mon. Rich people. Big sky.

[A]

Big sky. Yes. Yeah.

[B]

People. I've been to Big Sky.

[A]

It's cool there, right?

[B]

Unbelievable. The most beautiful eye candy. Like you, you. You do. A feast for the eyes. Like it is pretty unbelievable. Sounds nice. So I was invited to the house houses in Montana for two week long trip along with my boyfriend and his co worker and girlfriend. This is when I was going to meet his family for the first time. They have a quote unquote house built by the owners of the Cabela's and Billings. And their ranch is three and a half hours in the middle of nowhere with no cell service.

[A]

I don't know what that that with the Cabela.

[B]

Cabela's is like the clothing company. Oh you know, Carhartt.

[A]

Okay. Like all right, this guy's rich. I get it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They got money.

[B]

The the first few days in Billings were great. Family was nice, welcoming. Then we drove to the ranch. When we got to the ranch we went inside and my boyfriend's dad had us all sign waivers. But they weren't your typical waivers. If a rattlesnake bites you or ATV crashes or you get shot, fall off a cliff, mountain lion bites you. Etc. My biggest issue is I had zero way of getting in touch with my family as we were out at a ranch. The WI fi. Yeah, this can't afford WI fi. You don't have like the satellite. What's the Elon musk like WI fi thing that you can get it anywhere.

[A]

There's like a thing where you can.

[B]

Yeah, they should have something.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The non family members all kind of looked at each other while reading over this waiver. The weirdest part is they didn't have us sign this at the house in Billings while we had cell service. My boyfriend had to sign one too. Do he did. I signed it and asked him in about it in private later and he said everyone who comes to the ranch has to sign one. Even family. Red flagger. Deal breaker. You're stranded at a Montana ranch and have to sign a literal contract about your life or death that you didn't know about ahead of time. A still alive batch. What do you think? Just sign this. Yeah, I have a lot by a lion. It's not our fault.

[A]

I have a lot of questions. Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily not sign but I would have a lot of questions and I would be. I think it's a red. I think it's more of a red flag that the boyfriend didn't mention this to you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

As like a thing. Weird thing his family does or like even when she asks him about it later. Be like, I know it's weird. Here's why we do it. They, you know, they're terrified of getting sued. This person tripped on the at, tripped off the ATV and, like, threatened this whole lawsuit. And it's like a huge thing in the back of their head.

[B]

Right? I mean, like, are you gonna bring someone you think is, like, gonna sue you for? I. I don't know. I. I. If you have. There's an amount of money where you have that, like, that. That's not. It feels kind of cheap. Like, like, the idea that you're gonna bring someone that you know enough that they would sue you in that way, where it would.

[A]

Why would you be. Like, how dangerous is it here?

[B]

Like, what's going.

[A]

Like, what's the. What are the. Like, this is. We're.

[B]

We're in the weeds. When I actually think this is a bigger issue that, like, she's not really be putting to words. And the bigger issue is that we have the money, so you do whatever we say. Like, you. Well, if you want to be playing in our playground, then sign this paper and shut the up. It's kind of like the way they look at the world is a little annoying. Like, if I'm dating this person and it's like, yeah, of course you're gonna sign something. You're at my awesome ranch in Montana. I'd be like, oh, okay. So this is kind of the game that goes on here. Like, I think this.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Well, this does represent how the money is seen.

[A]

Well, that's why I think it's, like, it's about the presentation and the lack of. Or the lack of presentation.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

Of, like, the. The explanation of what's going on here.

[B]

Hey, this is, like, that's a. I. We are in sync. Because a family that thinks that they don't get to make the rules on everything would say to you, hey, I. I just want to make sure you're okay with this.

[A]

Right?

[B]

There's gonna be things to sign. It's gonna be weird. I'm just preparing you.

[A]

Here's why we do it.

[B]

Here's why we do it.

[A]

The lawyer. The. The lawyer thinks it's, like, completely necessary. I think it's kind of stupid, but, like, here's.

[B]

You know, here's why I'm even signing it. Like, you know, like, that. That isn't a totally A allowable thing, right?

[A]

The.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Just. You're here. Of course you're gonna sign it.

[A]

Like, everyone signs it.

[B]

Everyone signs it. And. And also, we brought you here, like, this idea that if you pay for something now, you get to have, like, total and utter control over me. You know, that's. That's kind of like a tale as old as time that is like, very Shakespearean slippery slope.

[A]

So.

[B]

Yeah. And I can understand how anyone would feel comfort, uncomfortable with that. Like, you know, if you marry for money, you pay every day for the rest of your life. That's like the old saying. So this is how you might have to pay.

[A]

Right? Some people, it's worth it.

[B]

Some people, they go, yeah, take my left, pinky. I don't give a.

[A]

Would you sign?

[B]

Yeah, I'd sign.

[A]

I think I died too.

[B]

I'd sign.

[A]

I'm already there.

[B]

I Right. I, I, I think this person who wrote in, like, I get the email's funny to me because it's like, it's very horror movie the way they're, like, setting it up. Like, I had no cell service. I couldn't even consult my parents.

[A]

Why am I gonna get shot? Shot.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Why is there a risk of me getting shot?

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, please, please elaborate on, like, why this is why this is a possibility.

[B]

Right. I wouldn't be as careful as them in the way they're being careful. Like, my way of, like, the way they're being careful is like, I didn't even get to, like, check the contract with my parents. I, I would assume if it were me, I'd be like, the contract's fine. It's just this family thinks that if you sign up for us, you, you should be be thanking every God that's ever been known to man. Like, right.

[A]

I mean, like, that would be my secondary concern. My primary concern would actually be, like, what are the risks of staying here? That.

[B]

Right.

[A]

This contract was every contract made.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Because something happened in the past that has deemed this contract necessary.

[B]

That wouldn't cross my mind at all. I would actually think not, not of my life at all, like, being in danger.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I would just think that this is, like, this is this family's way of telling me, like, you want to be part of the, you know, the, the hassle house.

[A]

You think it's just like a, like.

[B]

A, you want, you want to and you want this.

[A]

You think it's just a posturing thing.

[B]

Not a posturing thing, but it's. They think highly of themselves. I think you have to, like, think I'm such a loser that the only way I can, like, make my money is to the now I'm going another step. But, like, like, any loser coming to your house is trying to take advantage of you. Right?

[A]

It's a little paranoid. But again, unless there's, like, there what are. I'm like, what are. I would be like, what are the activities this weekend?

[B]

What do you have planned? Well, no, we're just gonna go and dance with rattlesnakes.

[A]

And that's what I'm saying. Like, I would be. I would just have more questions about my physical safety. And then secondarily, what this fam, again, like, the posturing of this family is trying to do.

[B]

I would assume that I'm not going to get the centerpieces that I want at the wedding.

[A]

Yes. I know it's important to you.

[B]

Big, big deal for me.

[A]

Yeah. I would enjoy the weekend. I would sign and enjoy the weekend and then discuss it when I got back.

[B]

I'd eat their caviar. I'd suck on their buffalo nuts.

[A]

Who the. Get all your Instagram dating pics in.

[B]

The background before you go put on the stupid ad. We did it. We solved dating again.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

With two new additions to the U UP family.

[A]

Oh, Love it. Thank you. And we will be back on Friday with a very special Halloween episode.

[B]

Boom.