Have These Dating Trends Gone Too Far?

Summary

U Up? Podcast Summary

Episode: Have These Dating Trends Gone Too Far?
Date: October 24, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid

---

Overview

In this episode, Jordana and Jared discuss the ever-evolving world of modern dating with a sharp, comedic focus on the latest “trends”—from fashion and social media habits to etiquette, Instagram bios, and even the ethics of VR porn in relationships. The hosts use humor and candid personal stories to break down why people do what they do on dates, what signals are secretly at play, and whether some trends have finally gone too far.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fashion Trends, Generational Differences & Dating

• Fashion Lightning Round (02:44–04:22)

  • Jared gives instant, off-the-cuff “Mind of a Man” takes on women’s fashion trends (big pants, high boots, Stanley cups), associating each with personality stereotypes.
  • Quote:
    • Jared: “When I see Stanley Cups, I just think Alpharetta, Georgia... life is generally pretty easy and all the drama you deal with is something that I think is stupid.” (03:45)
  • Jordana raises the pressure women feel to balance dressing age-appropriately versus appearing out of touch, while Jared argues men barely notice most “trendy” details—unless they’re extreme.
  • Quote:
    • Jared: “Men see a woman, we just see the outline of a woman. We don’t get stuck in the details.” (07:43)

• Gen Z vs. Millennials

  • Discussion pivots to Gen Z’s opinions on leggings and fashion sets, with Jared confessing a soft spot for monochrome workout sets and the unitard—“It’s like a superhero uniform” (05:13).
  • Both hosts agree generational shifts in fashion are largely policed by women for women, more than by men.

2. Dating Trends: Self-Presentation & Outfits

• Age-Appropriate Dressing Dilemmas (06:42–10:29)

  • Jordana explains the double-bind for women around wanting to appear neither old nor trying too hard to appear young.
  • Jared outlines that men don’t notice subtle fashion faux pas—but going to extremes signals insecurity.

• Matching & Outdated Looks

  • The idea of matching outfits on a date is discussed (Jared likes it). They also riff on “if men cared about trends as much as women”—subtly suggesting “let people dress how they want”.

3. Instagram, Bios & Dating App Signals

• Instagram Bios: What’s an Ick? (26:11–39:58)
  • Listener’s Icky or Picky: A guy she met at a singles run club asked for her Instagram, but his bio references his deceased dog (with date) in a stylized font.
    • Both hosts agree: a little weird, potentially a red flag, but not a total dealbreaker if he’s inactive otherwise.
  • Quote:
    • Jordana: “It wouldn't be a turn on for me. I might still go out, but I wouldn't love it.” (31:03)
  • Quote:
    • Jared: “Why not the number? That's almost the bigger red flag.” (33:02)
  • They break down different types of Instagram bios and give live “turn on/turn off/neutral” reactions to real examples—doctors, schools, sales titles, cryptic emojis, parental claims, and more.
    • Verdict: Less is more, especially for men. Neutral or no bio is often safest.

4. Relationship Boundaries: VR Porn in a Marriage

• VR Porn: Is It Different? (43:19–54:49)
  • Listener asks if her husband using a VR headset for porn is more troubling than regular porn—especially since he equates it to her vibrator use.
  • Discussion touches on tech, boundaries, fantasy life, and what really “crosses the line.”
  • Quote:
    • Jared: “If he's watching porn on his computer... he's imagining going to the place VR is already taking him. So just because it's VR doesn't make it worse.” (47:11)
    • Jordana: “It’s about frequency and how it affects your sex life. If it’s replacing real sex, that’s when it becomes an issue.” (45:05)
    • Both advocate for open conversations—not shaming, but understanding each partner's needs and fantasy life.
  • Recognizes that all new tech, from streaming to VR, starts with porn or war, and that “sadness” around masturbation may be more about awkwardness or witnessing “the animalistic side.”
  • Quote:
    • Jared: “If you catch any man masturbating, it's a bad look anyway. It's an animalistic…" (53:33)
    • Jordana: “Everyone's entitled to some private sexual fantasies...it's about frequency and intensity and how it affects things." (54:10)

5. Comic Relief: Celebrity Lookalikes & Pop Culture

• Playful detour into celebrity doppelgängers (Matt LeBlanc/Joey, Leah Michele, Aubrey Plaza, Jennifer Aniston), and riffing about unwanted comparisons.
  • Quote:
    • Jared: “If I get Matt LeBlanc, I’m like, this person thinks I’m an attractive human being. We have made it.” (16:12)
  • Discussion of Friends and Gen Z trends—tying humorously back to questions about style, identity, and belonging.

---

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On male obliviousness to trends:
  “Men see a woman, we just see the outline of a woman… We don’t notice the color of your nails matching the weather.”
  — Jared, (07:43)

• On Instagram ‘insta-icks’:
  “Why not the number? That's almost the bigger red flag.”
  — Jared, (33:02)

• On honoring a pet in your bio:
  “It wouldn't be a turn on for me. I might still go out, but I wouldn't love it.”
  — Jordana, (31:03)

• On new technology and porn:
  “All technology starts at war or porn.”
  — Jared, (46:14)

• On masturbation awkwardness:
  “If you catch any man masturbating, it's a bad look anyway. It's animalistic…”
  — Jared, (53:33)

---

Major Segments & Timestamps

• Fashion, Gen Z vs. Millennials
  02:44–10:29

• Instagram Bios—Picky or Icky Listener Segment
  26:11–39:58

• VR Porn in Relationships
  43:19–54:49

---

Tone & Takeaways

The hosts keep things light, honest, and laughter-filled, even while grappling with “serious” dating dilemmas. They remind listeners not to overthink trivial details (like fashion trends or awkward bios), and encourage open, non-judgmental communication about more sensitive issues (like sexual boundaries and evolving tech). If in doubt, they say, assume the trend or ick means less than you think—unless it’s extreme or replaces real human connection.

---

Useful for listeners who:

• Want honest, humorous takes on modern dating “ick” moments and etiquette
• Enjoy hearing about real-world dilemmas and messy dating signals
• Appreciate a balance of practical advice, vulnerability, and playful banter

---

Hosts’ Closing Message:
As always, whatever the trend or tech, it’s about how it impacts you, your confidence, and your connection—not internet “dos and don’ts.” Open up, laugh it off when you can, and don’t let the weird stuff get to you.

Transcript

[A]

If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your own business. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Shopify's got you from the get go with beautiful ready to go templates to match your brand style. Tackle all the important tasks in one place, from inventory to payments to analytics and more. Spread your brand's word with built in marketing and email tools to find and keep new customers. And did I mention that iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Your customers already love it. If you want to see less cards being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start sell selling today at shopify.com batches go to shopify.com shopify.com batches.

[B]

Yeah, I'm building a studio in the. So it's a three bedroom. The middle bedroom is like office ish and it's perfect size. That's great for a studio.

[A]

So you have room for all of us to stay. We'll bring sleeping bags.

[B]

Everyone can come down. You're in the golf cart. Well, we got to get the golf. The moke.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I don't know if I'll be able to afford the moat.

[A]

I have to borrow your mom's golf cart that says her name on it. Hello and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the UF podcast. I'm Jornana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? How you feeling on a Friday?

[A]

I'm good. October 25th. Wow.

[B]

We're really moving through the year. I don't know.

[A]

I think we're getting older. Time's moving faster.

[B]

That's what it is, right? Yeah, that. I mean, there was a point. Why does time move slower? Like March, when you're like, let it be summer already. Then the summer just flies by and all of a sudden we're in October. We're almost at Halloween. Our Halloween episode is coming.

[A]

It's coming out. Time flies when you're having fun.

[B]

Really? It really does.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We'll be dressed up next Friday, so, you know, just get ready.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We don't know each other's costumes yet.

[A]

So if you haven't subscribed on YouTube, you should make sure you're subscribed in advance of Halloween.

[B]

Yeah, get subscribed on YouTube. We're doing some fun stuff. We do bonus episodes there.

[A]

We're meeting an etiquette expert you're going to see.

[B]

We're going to make sure you don't come off like a frumpy frumstein on a date. So teach you some etiquette, you pigs.

[A]

I say in my enormous pants.

[B]

I think the pants are great.

[A]

Not frumpy.

[B]

No, they look good. They're. They're.

[A]

What is your take on. I'm going to do you, like, a. A lightning round of women's fashion trends.

[B]

Okay. Give me some trends.

[A]

Okay. Big pants.

[B]

I think they're. I think they're stylish. You like, they actually look good if they're done right. And I like them with, like, a tight shirt up top. I think when they're with a big sweatshirt, sometimes it's too much frump.

[A]

This is too big.

[B]

No, you're good.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You're totally okay.

[A]

Labubus. Woman with laboos.

[B]

If I see a woman with labubu, I just think that she's probably difficult.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That would be my first like. Like, if we were doing, like, the war search. Is that what it's called? Like, you, like, you show me the ink blot test and I. Yeah. I give you my initial word. Difficult.

[A]

Difficult is the word you're thinking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Do we have any other trends? I'm not very bad.

[B]

Give me anything. Anything female related. I'll give you my first thought. I'm in a mood.

[A]

High boots. Like the boots that go up high.

[B]

Coffee. I just think that they love the way they make their coffee.

[A]

If they have high.

[B]

If they wear high boots, they wear high boots. They got a coffee order that is very specific.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Stanley cup, Alpharetta, Georgia. When I see Stanley Cups, I'm just like, this is the first thing Alpharetta, Georgia just makes me think of, like, basic town outside of a major city where life is generally pretty easy and all the drama you deal with is something that I think is stupid. Whoever's living that life is just like.

[A]

Oh, is there anything else that's like, kind of like you would think would be like, man Repelli.

[B]

Yeah, anything. Feel free. Send Me. And listen, if you're watching on YouTube in the comments. Comment with words. You want me to immediately reply to?

[A]

Yes. Lightning round words.

[B]

Lightning round words. And I'll just give you Mind of a Man. We'll call it Mind of a Man, right?

[A]

Oh, did you hear. Are you. Are you worried about this? That Gen Z does not like leggings? They think they're. That millennials are lame for wearing leggings.

[B]

I think this is all. I know.

[A]

You're a fan of leggings.

[B]

I am a fan of leggings. I'm a fan of a set. I would be really heartbroken to lose the workout set. The Monogram workout set.

[A]

It is like monogrammed. Are they monogr.

[B]

Monogram. Not monogram. Mon.

[A]

Monochrome.

[B]

Monochrome.

[A]

Monochrome. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. They don't have their initials on the. I was wondering.

[A]

I was like, is that a trend I missed? I don't know.

[B]

The Monochrome workout set makes my body. My blood boil in a sexual way.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So to lose that would really be.

[A]

What do you like about it? Just that it's so fitting for.

[B]

So fitting. It's also just like. It's like they're a uniform. Like a superhero.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ponytail.

[A]

I see that whenever I do a workout with a monarch with a. And I see someone like the instructors wearing the monochrome uniform.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm like, I want to be like you.

[B]

It's. Yeah. It is aspirational. And also the singlet. When it's the one.

[A]

The unitard.

[B]

The unitard is so hot. It is actually really. I literally like, turn into an animal when I see a unitart.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

It is one of those things. It's just.

[A]

Anyone who's going on a date with Jared. Where are your unit?

[B]

Where are unitard? Just. It just. I don't know what it is.

[A]

It's just like, hard to get into.

[B]

Hard to get into. But it's just like, I. It does take a certain confidence.

[A]

Those are tough to go to the bathroom.

[B]

I can't imagine taking a. I can't imagine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Can't imagine.

[A]

They should have a hole that you can zip up.

[B]

Like the Baby Huey. Like the. Like the. You know, the. The little thing that I would think that's hot, you know, with the little button in the back of the butt. That would be fun if women started wearing that.

[A]

Yeah, maybe, you know, you can design for one of the major fashion.

[B]

That would be fun. Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. Those make me so the Gen Z. Like, oh, we think this is stupid. Is such women's problems to Me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like that to me, it's like a conversation.

[A]

It doesn't affect you, right?

[B]

It doesn't affect me at all. That's what, that's what I mean. I think about the sound when I'm getting dressed.

[A]

I'm like, like, am I? Because here's kind of shows. Yeah, we've talked about this. Like as a millennial woman, I think there you don't want to get caught going too far in either direction. I don't want to be like trying to seem like I'm dressing the age that I am not.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I also don't want to seem like an old, out of touch loser who doesn't know that like the skinny jeans I'm wearing are. No one is wearing those anymore.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So it's very hard to like go the middle ground.

[B]

And so much of women's fashion is, is stating something which I totally understand that that's like a problem.

[A]

What do you think?

[B]

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not acknowledging that that's a real thing.

[A]

Dating wise, would you rather go on a date with a woman, say a 36 year old woman who's dressing a little young for her age or a 36 year old woman who is like wearing things from that like no one is really wearing anymore?

[B]

Here's the thing about men, and I've said this many times, you don't care. We don't get stuck in the. Is she hot?

[A]

Right.

[B]

We don't get stuck in the details. Men see a woman, we just see the outline of a woman.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

We don't see the, the nails as much. We see nails are done, but we're not judging. Did you do them recently? Like, okay, we see, we see the nails are done, but we don't see. Oh, does the color match the season? Like, okay, we're gonna see nails are done. We're not gonna see the color to match what weather and temperature is. So the idea that notice it would have to be you're dressing way too young to notice that you're dressing too young.

[A]

Okay. For you to notice, for you, for it to sway you one way or the other.

[B]

Right. Or you'd have to be dressing way too old and modestly for me to notice that you've dressed modestly. Like, because usually a woman on a date, especially jeans and a black T shirt is kind of like a standard.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Date one type of thing. What you're wearing right now, you're looking at it. This is a day one outfit.

[A]

Does anyone ever match you On a date. Do you guys ever match?

[B]

I've matched with many of the women I go on dates with. I love it. Right now I look more maitre deer. Like I work at the restaurant because I'm in all black. But I, yeah, I, I would say it would be, it would really have to be like, I think you have to be way. I think women are worried about this in a way that they don't have to worry about this.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, I think you have to because.

[A]

Women, other women notice, but I again.

[B]

But women dress for other women, so that's okay. But I think like a man only notices when an older woman dresses too young.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Not when a woman their age or when a 40 year old woman. Like if I met a 70 year old woman who's dressed like a Gen Z woman, I'd go, what the.

[A]

That would be a big, big gap. Yeah.

[B]

I mean there's a couple women on the Golden Bachelor that I, that I've noticed them dressing very young, a little bit younger than I would assume they would dress.

[A]

And.

[B]

But I even, I'm not even being kind by softening those words. I'm. It's not like crazy noticeable, but there's a couple where I'm like, oh, that's a, that seems like a skirt I would never see a 60 year old wear.

[A]

Do you care? Would that affect would, Do I care? Like, would that sway your opinion of dat. Let's say you were 60 dating a 60 year old woman who was dressed.

[B]

Yeah, that would sway my opinion. Yeah, that would sway that. That would be like, oh, I, I don't know if I can deal with the insecurities that lie here.

[A]

Because you're trying to be, you're trying to dress right.

[B]

You can't even admit to your age. Like, I don't know. You can see that that kind of happens. I, I mean I'm in Delray beach, you see older people, but it's never, I've never seen like, I don't think I'm at the age or we're at the age where I see someone around where we are who's like trying so far, so far off.

[A]

Well, they're all like, I think you're kind of at, you know, in your, in, in your mid-30s anyway. You're like 10 years away from both ends.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Of like dressing young and dressing old. You could kind of go either way.

[B]

Right. Do you notice as a men do, like if I came in dress Gen Z, you'd make fun of me, show.

[A]

Me a prototypical Gen Z. Yeah, let's see.

[B]

AI Gen Z.

[A]

Tell AI to make us a.

[B]

Create us a Gen Z date. One outfit.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like if I came in with a dangling earring, you're laughing already.

[A]

I mean, I wouldn't be into that look.

[B]

Yeah, like Gen Z men. Well, right. You see the dangling earrings? You like it?

[A]

Why don't you have one?

[B]

Would you wear it? But I see, you know, we got some Gen Z dudes in here. That's what I call them.

[A]

What about dudes?

[B]

When I walk in all young. What?

[A]

A belly button ring.

[B]

If I had a belly button.

[A]

Would you date someone with a belly button?

[B]

A woman? I would need a full explanation. I would need a dissertation. She's just like, I would need to know how that went down. Like, it does. You don't just have a belly button ring at 35.

[A]

That's true. You know, like after a certain age, it's a little.

[B]

There's a story that goes with it. Like, ah, no, I just love it. I had it then. And my girlfriend's. I. We all went on a bachelorette party. We're like, let's do something stupid. I could understand that. That story kind of gets me there.

[A]

But just like, I like the way it looks. Yeah.

[B]

Maybe I could understand that too. Like a belly button ring does. It does say something.

[A]

It's a look.

[B]

It's a. See, you're judgier than I am.

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

Let's see what a Gen Z man looks like. Yeah, it's very like Kurt Cobain. Upscale Kurt Cobain. I think I could. I, you know, I was looking. I went to untuck it. Okay. They sent me a bunch of stuff. I made a video. I went to untuck it. Which to me, untuck it. The crop shirt is very Gen Z. I bought a crop shirt.

[A]

Crop top.

[B]

I bought a crop top.

[A]

So cool.

[B]

And everyone said that I looked like. There were two versions. One, you know, you know, if someone describes what you wear, there's like an insulting version. And the one you want, okay, so the version that was insulting was like, oh, you bought a belly shirt. Like, I don't want my stomach referred to as a belly.

[A]

Was yours. Was your stomach showing?

[B]

No, but if you lift your arms enough, it could be. So then the other version I got was, oh, you look like you're like one of those 80s action stars. And I'm like, okay. That's a look I'm okay with.

[A]

Is an 80s action star have a crop top?

[B]

Yeah, it was like Sylvester Stallone.

[A]

Okay, Right.

[B]

I mean, I could show you, but I have good pictures like the ones I like.

[A]

But maybe you should be an 80s for Halloween. Halloween, yeah.

[B]

That could be a good one. That would be too. Outside of my normal thing where I generally don't go with a costume. That is me trying to get laid.

[A]

Right.

[B]

80S action is a little. Try hard. It's like the dude being a pirate with eyeliner on. You're like, okay, you just want to wear eyeliner.

[A]

Eyeliner's cool.

[B]

Good for him. I mean, 30 seconds to Mars, you know? Good band. So should we get into our. What are we talking about? Oh, also, if you're out there, we gotta sell some tickets. Okay. I got shows coming up and this Table for One tour, the name for it. Table for One tour might be too apt a name for this tour. This is me alone at a table at the show. So I need you to buy tickets. Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Chicago. Durham. Durham, Durham, Durham, Durham. That's like me trying to remember to turn off something off. Off. You know how many messages I get about that?

[A]

I do it now. It's great.

[B]

For those that are new to the.

[A]

Show, might be the most valuable thing you've ever said on this podcast.

[B]

It actually might be.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It those new to the show. When I turn something off and I'm afraid I'm gonna forget I turned it off, I scream off. And that. That hits me in the brain enough to remember that I turned off the oven or the stovetop.

[A]

I do that with my hair iron all the time.

[B]

It works, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Charlotte, Fort Lauderdale, Miami, Detroit, Columbus. Fort Lauderdale needs to sell tickets because it will be very embarrassing when I tell people around Del Rey that I'm a big time comedian.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Come to my show.

[A]

Second most famous person in Delray.

[B]

I'm the second most famous person Del Rey in the off season. And it's very embarrassing to be like, hey, come to my show. And then it's just people I know, right? I mean, the coffee guy, it's the people from the gym.

[A]

It's community theater.

[B]

Right. That's what it ended up being. I also might. I'm just putting this out as a tease, but I don't want to ruin people. I say these things and then I get one message from someone like, oh, I'll do that. Instead of paying for the show, I might do some workout shows around Del Rey.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like a workout.

[A]

You're not gonna tell you when they are though?

[B]

No, it's gonna be like at a coffee shop. It'll be like very embarrassing.

[A]

It's gonna be like Phoebe Buffet.

[B]

It's a very Phoebe Buffet.

[A]

Smelly Cat.

[B]

That's me just singing Smelly Cat in my big frumpy dress like Phoebe used to wear.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I would say Friends is kind of Gen Z.

[A]

It's coming back. Yeah, that's Gen Z. I would agree with that.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Joey for sure.

[B]

Like, season one, Joey's my. The look alike. I get that. I like, who's the lookalike you like? And what's the one you don't like? Someone's like, you look like this celebrity. I get Joey. And I'm like, okay, phew. We dodged a bullet. They think I look like Joey. Or I get, like, Matt LeBlanc.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. If I get Matt LeBlanc, I'm like, this person thinks I am a attractive human being. We have made it.

[A]

Okay. And who's.

[B]

If I get, like, Jason Biggs, I'm like, oh, they only see me as Jewy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's almost anti Semitic.

[A]

Leah Michelle is my Jewy one.

[B]

That's your Jewy one.

[A]

It's funny. I think neither of those people are Jewish.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Jason Biggs isn't Jewish. So you get Leah, Michelle. You don't like Liam Michelle.

[A]

I don't like Aubrey Plaza. I'm kind of, like, unsure what they mean. I think they're trying to say I'm, like, monotonous a little bit.

[B]

Because I would never say you look like Aubrey Plaza. And if someone said it, I would agree. I would go, what is this about?

[A]

Right? Is it like the. Is it. They're trying to tell me I have a vibe, maybe. And then this is going to sound crazy. And I don't think I look like her at all.

[B]

This is the complimentary I've gotten.

[A]

Yes. I've gotten, like, maybe two, maybe three people in my entire life. I'm not the woman from Love is Blind who thinks that. Everyone tells me I look like Megan Fox. But, like, do maybe like two or three times, probably on the best day, the best looking day of my life, someone has said that I look like emerald, which I don't agree with. Emerald, which I don't agree with. I'm throwing it out there. Listen, that one is very flattering. And I'm like, that's clearly not what I look like.

[B]

Whenever someone says I look like someone, I'm like, I know what it is. It's the eyebrows. It doesn't matter what I look like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when it's negative, I'm like, it's the eyebrows. When it's Positive. It's the eyebrows, right? You know, like it's never.

[A]

You're never too great, never too bad.

[B]

Just mediocre as Will and V. Who do you guys get good and bad? V gets Jennifer Aniston. So you had like the Jen.

[A]

You had the Jen Aniston do?

[B]

The famous Jen and Aniston do.

[A]

She's Greek. Yeah.

[B]

I don't think that's a well known fact.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Greek snow. Okay.

[A]

Are Greeks like Jews, where we have to tell you every single person?

[B]

Every Jewish. Yeah, every person. Right. So what's your one you don't like?

[A]

I don't know. I don't.

[B]

You don't have one you don't like? Okay, well, I don't know. Kevin James, maybe. Kevin James.

[A]

I feel like you do look like someone, but I can't put my finger on it. I don't know who it is.

[B]

There's like a famous actor. I feel like you. My mom tells me things, but I forget she, like, tells me too often, so I don't know which one. She like, finds a new celebrity every day for you. I got it.

[A]

Huh. All right.

[B]

Well, this was a fun walk around the block here.

[A]

Yes. And if you think we look like someone, don't. Please don't write it in the comments. I don't want to know.

[B]

My day has never been improved.

[A]

I don't want to know. Now that summer's over and fall is here, I'm so excited to get back into my homebody self and have these cozy, slowed down weekends with less plans. With Bolan branches bed bundles, you can create the coziest sanctuary for those crisp fall nights. I love my Bolin brand sheets, especially as I gear up for winter to hibernate. I also have the waffle blanket, which just feels like I'm getting a hug. So I can cozy up in my waffle blanket and my bowlen brand sheets and watch my favorite shows and just feel completely at peace, feel completely relaxed. Literally. Like your bedding is so important. It just. It's where you would spend a third of your life there's anything to invest in. It is bedding. There's bundle options for every kind of refresh and every kind of sleeper. Plus they're made with the highest quality 100% organic cotton in durable designs and customizable colors. On my bed, I have the white color and you can feel the quality immediately, like as soon as you get into bed and people notice the difference. I mean, I've talked about this. I've had guests stay in my guest room where I also have bowl and brand sheets and they love the feel and I notice every time I wash them they get even softer. Boland Branch makes upgrading your bed easier than ever with curated bundles for a sanctuary of comfort. For a limited time, get 20% off bundles at bolinbranch.com UUP that's Boland Branch B O L L A N D branch.com/UUP to save up to 20% and unlock free shipping exclusions apply. Cooler days call for layers that last and Quince is my go to for quality essentials that feel cozy, look refined and won't blow your budget. I love qu been so excited for fall so I could break out my Quint Cashmere sweaters. They are beautiful. They're so high quality and I love that they're brought to you at a price point that feels like it makes sense, it feels luxurious and it doesn't feel like you're overpaying compared to other luxury brands. And it looks so chic. Quince has all the elevated essentials for fall. Think $50 Mongolian cashmere, premium denim that fits like a dream and Lux outerwear you'll wear year after year. Because Quint partners directly with top tier ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen, they deliver luxury quality pieces at half the price of similar brand brands. It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that feels smart, stylish and effortless. Find your fall staples at quince. Go to quince.com uup for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com uup to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com uup this episode is sponsored by Built. Nobody likes paying rent every month. I mean, honestly, have you ever met anyone who's like, ugh, yes, I love sending away a bunch of my money. If you dread the first of the month and every month at least Bilt makes it worth it. Bilt is revolutionizing how millions think about paying rent by rewarding their members with points and exclusive benefits around their neighborhood every single month. By paying rent through Built, you earn flexible points that can be redeemed toward hundreds of hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, your next lift ride, and more. But it doesn't stop there. Built is about making your entire neighborhood more rewarding. You can dine out at your favorite local restaurants and earn additional points, get VIP treatment at certain fitness studios, and enjoy exclusive experiences just for Built members every month Build is turning a monthly expense into an opportunity to earn rewards and discover the best that your neighborhood has to offer. Your rent is finally working for you. Earn points on rent around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to join built.comUUP that's J-O I N B I L T.comUUP make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you.

[B]

Let's do an icky or picky.

[A]

Yes. Okay.

[B]

Icky or pick is the game that's sweeping the country any time your day ever.

[A]

Get Eugene Levy. He has eyebrows.

[B]

No, he's a little older. Let me see. Let me see. Eugene leaving.

[A]

I didn't mean to imply that you look like. I just said eyebrows.

[B]

What a day for me. I just said never had my day improved.

[A]

It's good. You said when it's good, it's eyebrows. When it's bad, it's eyebrows.

[B]

No, see, Eugene Levy has had, like a. Has a. The eyebrows revolution.

[A]

Used to look different than that Eugene Levy.

[B]

When someone got a hold of Eugene.

[A]

He got a little hotter.

[B]

He got hotter?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Someone got a hold of him and was like, I can do something with this. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Now he. He's better looking with age.

[B]

When he was the G in American Pie. That. This is not what he looked like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that. His son.

[A]

Oh, his son. I could see Dan Levy, maybe.

[B]

No, no. But Eugene. I think Dan got a hold of Eugene.

[A]

Well, he was like, if I'm gonna do the show with you, you better not embarrass me.

[B]

You better look hot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Him and the guy from Devil Wears Prada. The bald guy.

[A]

Stanley Tucci.

[B]

Tucci and Levy both kind of got this, like, I don't think you look like Stanley Tucci. No, no, no. I'm just saying I don't think so either, but they've gotten this, like, rebrand as hot older guy. Like, I don't think Stanley Tucci. Like, 30 years ago, we were like, whoa, that.

[A]

Is Stanley Tucci supposed to be hot?

[B]

This is him 30 years ago, and now he's, like, hot.

[A]

Does he have more hair now?

[B]

No, he has less hair now. He.

[A]

He's married to, like, one of the Blunt sisters, I think, right?

[B]

No way.

[A]

From the movie Sister, I think. Right.

[B]

He must have met her on Devil Wears Prada.

[A]

No, the. Emily Blunt is married to John Krasinski.

[B]

I know, but I'm saying maybe. Maybe that's how they met.

[A]

I think they met at her wedding. At the wedding. John Krasinski wedding.

[B]

That's his wife.

[A]

Right. She's a blunt sister.

[B]

Good for two.

[A]

Yes. Yeah. They met at the. I think they met at the wedding. They met at Emily Blunt's wedding to John Krasinski.

[B]

Wow. We saw John Krasinski downstairs.

[A]

We did.

[B]

John Krasinski was downstairs with an umbrella, which. Not for me. As. As I. Famously.

[A]

You should just walk by and scream, right?

[B]

What a. Hold an umbrella. He was downstairs, like, two months ago, was it? That was a while ago.

[A]

Weeks ago, wasn't it?

[B]

It was not two weeks ago at all.

[A]

It was not months ago.

[B]

Okay, let's call it a month. He was downstairs, tall, and he went to Newton South. He's from Newton.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Famously.

[A]

Are you good at celebrity spotting?

[B]

No, generally not. There was. You know who was at the Cellar last night? Kim Whitley. Look up Kim Whitley. You'll know exactly who she is right away.

[A]

Kim Crawford.

[B]

So, no, this isn't Kim Whitley. She's been like, everything she was on. She was so funny. I've never seen her do stand up. She's like, we got to put this up.

[A]

Name?

[B]

No, I didn't know her name, but she's one of those, like, if you saw her, you go, oh, yeah, there it is.

[A]

She from. What is the show?

[B]

I think she was. Smart guy. She was in that show. And Tamara, she's been in, like, every show. Yeah, she's in a new movie.

[A]

I could see her being. Gonna stand up. She's in a lot of comedy.

[B]

She was so funny. Plug City. She's in this new movie, Reelection. She's like, I'm here promoting this movie. And she got up at the Cellar and killed. She was great. I went after her. You see, like, you know, the seller is kind of like. You go. You do stand up. And then you see these people go up and you're like, whoa, you did it.

[A]

Killing it.

[B]

You got chops.

[A]

Oh, she's in so many movies. Wow.

[B]

She's in so many movies. She was in Happy Gilmore, too.

[A]

Everyone who wasn't in Abbey, you're the only. I think you're the only person they didn't include in Happy.

[B]

Right? I did a movie with his wife. Never thought of me. She was very nice. Sandler's wife. All right, let's do it. Here, Picky. Okay, J and J, I have an Icky or Picky for your. Last week, I went to a singles run club event in my city. During this run, I was chatting to this nice guy who later asked for my Instagram. He definitely wasn't my top choice out of all the men I chatted To. But we had a good enough chat that I would have gone on a date with him.

[A]

He asked for your Instagram. Yeah. It's a little. I don't like that.

[B]

Side doors.

[A]

Especially when you've met in person.

[B]

Right. You've met in person.

[A]

It's like a blind. I would ask for someone's Instagram if they wanted to set me on a date with someone.

[B]

Right. I'm trying to think of why I would ask for an Instagram. It would be to, like, kind of snoop a little bit.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I would be really being a little.

[A]

Precious instead of a number.

[B]

Right. That means I don't want to go out with them. I'm debating.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So this was a good. In between. Okay. I chatted, but we had a good enough chat that I would have gone out on a day with him. That is, until I later looked at his Instagram and saw his bio. I assumed it was a biblical verse or something along those lines, but after looking at his first post, I realized he had the name of his dead dog and the date the dog had died in his Instagram bio. See screenshots. So do we want to look at these now?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So he does indeed have the name of the dog with the A date.

[B]

I assume the date in a different font.

[A]

Yes. That's a good point, too.

[B]

Yeah. That is. Like, this is an artistic choice he has made.

[A]

Yes. And then a picture of the dog that says, rest easy, little boy. You were taken too soon. Which I guess confirms that it was the dog.

[B]

And this was in 2022 also. Taken too soon means it was tragic.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, it wasn't. Like, I've had this dog for years and it was his time to go. Taken too soon means something. Either illness or accident.

[A]

Accident. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Dark.

[B]

Yeah. This is a tough episode of the UF podcast. Now, don't get me wrong, I am a dog lover, but this was just too much. I decided this was too much of an ick I for me to get over and never followed up on the date. Imagine if Jared likes Stol enough.

[A]

Imagine if Jared liked an animal enough to care about its death.

[B]

This podcast is getting too personal, you know? And like, for you, Paige is getting too personal. I'm like, Jared's dog, Stoley.

[A]

This a listener.

[B]

I've never talked about this dog once on this podcast. He's like, central character.

[A]

You start. You've talked about it, I've talked about.

[B]

You know, the dog was the dog.

[A]

Stol is Jared's childhood dog that he didn't like that Ran away.

[B]

No, we just. We. We coe.

[A]

Just. Okay.

[B]

Imagine I liked this story. I think it gets more. I get my family made it into this thing that I didn't do anything. Helping.

[A]

I'm sorry. To. To add to the fuel to the fire.

[B]

Someone commented on my Instagram the other.

[A]

Day that my Instagram.

[B]

Instagram. And that I. I was complaining about my parents. My. And someone commented like, you should make them a meal instead of complaining about them. Like, maybe it's time for you to make them dinner. And I'm like, the idea that my mom would be so funny would let me do anything. I'm not allowed to do anything. Like, even, like, take my plate to the sink. That is just like, what are you doing? You're doing it wrong. Don't put the plate there. Wash out the plate.

[A]

You should do a video of you making your parents dinner.

[B]

If I. She would never stop hovering and telling me how I'm doing it wrong. It would be the most unenjoyable dinner for everyone involved. And this is the same with the dog. Like, the dog was like, I'll take it for a walk. I don't know. Can you do it? Where are you gonna take them? Why would you do that? Everything was a thing, so I just didn't do the thing.

[A]

I wonder if this all stems back to your stay in the nicu. Doesn't think you're capable.

[B]

The meconium did it. Yeah, she thinks I'm still sick. That's still. I'm still that sick, baby. Imagine if Jared likes Stoli enough to even consider honoring this day of death on his bio. What do you think? Was I being too picky or is this a legit ick? Thanks for all you do. And icked out. What do you think?

[A]

This is a little weird. Is it especially. It's in a different font. Yeah, I think. I mean, it's his. It's his most recent post and it's from 2022, so I'm assuming he doesn't post a lot, but it wouldn't be a turn on for me. I might still go out, but, like, I wouldn't love it. I might not think we're. I think I might think we're not a match.

[B]

Well, doesn't it help that his Last post was 2022? It is not a pinned post. His Last post is 2022. It's 2025. So it does feel like this was done and like Instagram isn't used in that way. Like, I can understand that. You could still be a normal like, this is abnormal. I agree. But I could understand that they're still.

[A]

Yeah, I think it'd be a red flag. I don't know if I would, like, say it was a deal breaker. Well, do you think it's weird if someone is trying to exchange Instagrams? Like, they're asking you for an Instagram and they haven't posted in three years?

[B]

Yeah, I guess it. I. I guess it reveals how they use it to create. Like, the. To create.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right. That's their only use of it.

[A]

Right. I would be, like, a little. Not like. Like, you don't want them to use it too much.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I think it is a little weird to, like, ask for that to be your primary form of communication. And you never post.

[B]

Right. You're just showing your hand a little too much.

[A]

We want, you know, basically, like, send me pics.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You.

[B]

Everyone knows that we're all looking at each other on Instagram, but everyone doesn't want to know that we're all looking at each other on Instagram.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So when you do this, you're basically saying, like, I know how to use all the tools that Instagram offers me, and I'm not using these other ones. Like, it's an awareness that, like, it's almost too aware to not admit that he's, like, truly a person. Like, to me, it's more likely that he's a person that would look at your stories first every day.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And he'd end up being that type of person that you never went out with, but they watch your stories every day.

[A]

I agree. I think that'd be like, another red flag. And again, there's nothing wrong with someone not posting again. But I think if he's the one asking to connect that way, that makes it weirder.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I do.

[B]

I agree with you. And in addition, this is all just. I would have reached out, but I agree, like, why not the number?

[A]

Right. That's almost the bigger red flag.

[B]

Yeah. What are some bios that would be like, Let me give you a bio. Turn on, turn off.

[A]

Okay. Most are. Most are going to be turn off. I think less, I would say, for men. If you're a man listening to this and you want tips on your Instagram bio, less is more. You can only hurt yourself with more. In my opinion.

[B]

In my opinion, it's a good opinion. It's a valid opinion. What if it just said, you know, doctor, no specialty, just the doctor turn off. Okay, how about Doctor of Internal Medicine?

[A]

Is he using the Instagram to, like, promote his practice.

[B]

No turn off. What if it said cfp?

[A]

What is that?

[B]

Certified financial planner.

[A]

Turn off. More of a turn off than the doctor.

[B]

What if it said Wharton, class of oh, three turn off.

[A]

College in your bio, I think is a turn off unless you are in college. Okay.

[B]

Or maybe a year is like the NBA. Like Wharton's Wharton.

[A]

It's a little like, like, why does that relate. Why. Why does anyone need to know that?

[B]

I listen, I'm asking the questions. Biblical verse.

[A]

Which. What's the biblical verse?

[B]

I don't know one Biblical.

[A]

If I liked. If I. I wouldn't say, like, would you ever really Not a turn on. But if the, if the, if I kind of like the quote neutral.

[B]

Well, what if it's just John 3:16 or whatever? I would say John 3:16 is one, isn't it? Because that, well, that was the stone cold Steve Austin.

[A]

I would say. I would say we're probably not a match, right? This is gross. I'm just like, ah, you're. You're probably like a little religious in the wrong religion for me.

[B]

Right. I see the biblical verse and I'm like, we are just two people that would. Two ships passing in the night.

[A]

You ever see a quote you like?

[B]

The quote would have to be so specific for me to like it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It, like if it's like I miss. You miss 100% of the shots. You don't take Michael Scott, Wayne Gret off. Like we've seen it. Like, you know, there's a thing of like, like that to me that's very.

[A]

College is no bio neutral or turn on or turn off neutral. No bio turn on.

[B]

No bio turn on.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm trying to think of what else I've seen. I mean, I could go to like, literally Instagram. Let's go to a random person, see what comes up.

[A]

Let's see what we can find.

[B]

This show is really.

[A]

I think most men don't have a real bio.

[B]

I'm gonna go to in the biz. Let me go to rando person.

[A]

You follow?

[B]

Yeah. Okay. What about sales director and then the tag the company?

[A]

Are they using that for work?

[B]

Maybe as a woman? Yes.

[A]

I think neutral.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What about all posts and stories are my own and don't represent any organization.

[B]

Neutral.

[A]

Neutral.

[B]

Neutral.

[A]

That's clearly like, like, yeah, I would agree.

[B]

Here to keep you company as a guy.

[A]

Yeah, it's a little creepy.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that's. That's my boy, Tony P. Tony P. He's great.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, Tony P. Is great.

[A]

I'm making sure. Mike doesn't have underscore.

[B]

Tony P and dc.

[A]

Well, I've been talking all this.

[B]

I don't want to. Are we talking? I don't want to. Okay, how about we do emojis?

[A]

Just emojis.

[B]

What are the emojis?

[A]

Sunshine emoji, bird emoji. They're like random.

[B]

I don't like the random one because I'm like, what does this mean? It has to mean something. It's your bio. Okay, so I'm like sitting there with like hieroglyphics. Fair, okay. New York Times bestseller.

[A]

How many followers do they have?

[B]

1.4 million.

[A]

That's fine.

[B]

Okay. Mid size fashion and confidence.

[A]

That's like everyone I follow is there is that they're like, that's like they're.

[B]

They'Re doing a business.

[A]

Yeah. I think if it's for your business, like, you're okay with. Because like you're literally. I mean, you have your links in your business.

[B]

Well, listen, I, I, I again, I, I am admittedly very turn offable. Like I'm someone who someone could look at my, My whole thing is a turn off. Someone goes, I'm not dating that. Like, I get that like my whole life. You're using it for work.

[A]

It's not like your personal stuff. What if it has the, the city, the location, your location and your.

[B]

I think that's okay.

[A]

Okay. I think that's multiple locations.

[B]

Hate it. I think that's.

[A]

I feel like I've seen you do.

[B]

A bit about this when it's always like New York and St. Pete. It's like you live in St. Pete.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know, like, what if it's like.

[A]

Mommy, mom to whatever the dog's name is.

[B]

Hatable. Hate.

[A]

What if it's mom to actual kid's name?

[B]

Hate it. Spencer and, and oh, the middle name.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah.

[B]

Spencer May and yes. And Prancer Dough.

[A]

Yeah, I hate that. Yeah. Loser Mama too.

[B]

Mama. Anything. Mama.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hate it. Okay, here's a good one. It's the Statue of Liberty emoji. The yin and the yang. And then mindful period.

[A]

This is for a man.

[B]

This is a woman.

[A]

Weird for a man. I guess. I mean, I don't know. It's interesting to hear your takes.

[B]

If I see that on a woman's I.

[A]

Would you ever not. Would you ever not neutral?

[B]

Yeah, I'd still like hook up. Like, that's the problem with being a woman is like you could be hooking up with someone who literally saw your bio and was like, ugh.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Like, that to me is no idea. You have no idea. And, like, that's so horrifying. I guess the male side of that is like, I could be hooking up with someone who's like, I guess he's got a good personality. You know, like, I'm with someone who's disgusted by my body, but you're with someone who's disgusted by your mind.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's a crazy thing. I think about that with, like, couples that come to my show, and they're like, my husband not into you, and I love you. And I'm like, so he just doesn't like how you think.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, like, I think that's such, like, a weird mix.

[A]

It is an interesting thing. But he. You could be with someone disgusted by your mind. That is. That is worse.

[B]

I try not to think about that because. Because I think that's where the male ego people are, like, wondering about the male ego. And, like, you know these guys that are such dicks on social. On. On dates or, like, the way they think of, oh, this dude who's like a nothing. Dump me. And you're like, yeah, I. I can understand how that Right. Happens.

[A]

What if they're just tagging their side business?

[B]

I am. I'm okay with that. Side businesses. Go get your. Get your dough.

[A]

Yeah, that's fair. This is an ad by BetterHelp. October 10th is World Mental Health Day, and this year we're saying thank you, therapists. Sometimes it's the little moments in therapy. A thoughtful question, a safe space to cry, or celebrating a small win that can make the biggest difference. With BetterHelp, you can talk to a licensed therapist who tailors their support to you, giving you real tools and trusted guidance that lasts. You really can put a price on positive mental health. Therapy has changed my life in so many ways, and sometimes I still think about insights that my therapist has told me years ago whenever I'm in a tough situation. So this kind of advice is really invaluable. It comes from a trained professional and someone who can really help you get through hard times in your life and bring those skills and bring those little tidbits to other challenges that face you in the future. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored wrecks. It's completely online, letting you join a session at the click of a button. And you can pause your subscription whenever you need to, plus switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. This World Mental Health Day, we're celebrating the therapists who have helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, better help can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] UUP that's BetterHelp H lp.com UUP Fall is layering season, but it all starts with a good foundation. Honestly, one of the biggest pain points with bras and underwear is wearing stuff that looks good but doesn't feel good. It's really hard to find a company that will give you both, which is why I love that we're working with Skims. They have mastered the art of the perfect bra, perfect underwear. It's just really hard for women to find stuff that looks good on you and also like is really comfortable. I think that's just a universal struggle by many women. Recently I got the fits everybody full brief which is like their regular underwear which I am wearing all the time now. It's my favorite pair. I get annoyed when I wear it because then I have to wait until I wash all my underwear to wear it again. I also have the Bralette. It's a game changer. It lifts, it looks great. Super flattering, super cute, just the right amount of support and also incredibly comfortable. I haven't always loved bras, who has? But with skims they are changing me into a bra lover. Shop my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, make sure to let them know we sent you select podcast podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows before enemies to Lovers There was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Pride and Prejudice is globally recognized as one of the greatest romance novels ever written and with Audible you can now fall in love with the Jane Austen classic All over again. The Audible original Pride and Prejudice stars a full cast including Marisa Abella as Elizabeth Bennett and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy. Plus Marianne John Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill Nighy and Glenn Close as Lady Catherine Deborah, all bringing brilliant performance to transport you to the Regency era. Marisa Abella brings you inside the stubborn and complicated mind of Elizabeth Bennet as she navigates family expectations, societal pressures and her own misconceptions. When she meets the enigmatic Mr. Darcy, the new adaptation is vibrant and modern with an original new score by a Grammy nominated composer. Whether you're new to the story of Pride and Prejudice or want to revisit a cherished favorite? You're in for a new and delightful listening experience. Listen to the new Pride and [e-mail].

[B]

Janeaustin now that we've wasted countless times, countless hours. All right, J and J. Curious for your thoughts on VR porn. Okay. And if it has a place in relationships or if it's any different from regular porn. Me, 34, female, found my husband, 33, male, VR headset in the bathroom.

[A]

I do not. That is not a hot visual.

[B]

What's this? Nothing. It's my helmet. I wear it when I take a. I get. Sometimes I pass out.

[A]

Penis in hand. VR set on.

[B]

I mean, that's a look. Brave new world. We're going closer to this than we. We're close to this than we are farther away.

[A]

I agree. I agree.

[B]

I was a bit shocked and saddened by it. Oh, she made it.

[A]

She made it sad.

[B]

She made it a moral thing. Shocked is one thing. Saddened G. I'm happy I'm not in this relationship. We have both been traveling for work recently.

[A]

I would have said it. Entertained by it.

[B]

Entertained is a more like, I would.

[A]

Bring it up all day and, like, all week.

[B]

Well, you'd want to know what he's watching. Like, what do you want to be real, but, like, porn is like a vacation from your real life.

[A]

Play Mario Kart.

[B]

What's good that. Yeah. He's like, no, no, put it on. Watch driving around. We have both been traveling for work and both had the flu, so our sex life has been a bit lacking. Usually it's great. Husband says it's no different than my vibrator. I'm pretty upset. Am I out of line? Sincerely, Am I an overreacting? Ah, the vi. For her to have a vibrator that she actively uses and to look at this.

[A]

Here's the thing. I think, like, like anything in life, it's not about the tool, it's how you use it, right? So I think if you're using it very frequently and it's replacing actual sex, right. I think that's when it becomes. It's kind of like dating apps. Like, nothing wrong with dating apps. If you're using it as a tool to date, if it's the only thing you're using and you don't get off of them ever, I think that's an issue. VR porn, if it's an occasional indulgence, I've never done it. I can't really speak to, like, what that would be like. I Think it's probably a little bit of a slippery slope. But I think if you're. If you try it every now and then, do I think if you're, like, able to control yourself that it's like, that horrible? Probably fine. I don't know.

[B]

Here's the thing about VR porn.

[A]

Have you. Have you ever tried it?

[B]

I've never tried it.

[A]

Would you.

[B]

I was given a VR headset, and the first thing the person said to me was, it's great for porn.

[A]

Really?

[B]

That's like, oh, I thought this guy.

[A]

Was being, like, creative.

[B]

Oh, no, no, no. Everything comes from porn. Like, everything comes from war and porn.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There's like. That's, like, not like a me thing. That's like the. The truth. All technology starts at war or porn.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And becomes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Used by the people for other things, like streaming video porn.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That was created because people wanted to watch porn. You know, they say it's crazy.

[A]

There's so much porn going on and, like, I don't really see any of it.

[B]

Probably the better, the best way for it to be, I guess there's some people that say porn's everywhere, Right? Porn's all around us. It's in the sky. It's hard to.

[A]

It can't walk down the street. Yeah.

[B]

Hit me in the face, right? I think that was Yoda that said that. What do you think?

[A]

Would you ever use it for porn?

[B]

I can't say. I wouldn't.

[A]

Would you try it?

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

I try anything.

[B]

I try anything.

[A]

Except for smoking.

[B]

I've tried.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't do it, but I would try, you know, I think it could be fun for the couple to experience together in some way. I don't know how. I'm just saying, like, I think porn is, like, a diversion, but also, like. I'm sorry to put it this way, but, like, if he's watching porn on his computer and, like, he's closing his eyes. Yeah. He's imagining going to the place that the VR is getting him closer to. So the idea that he's. Because it's VR is somehow worse than what he was doing before. I don't really buy that.

[A]

I guess it feels more real. So it feels more like a betrayal because it's more real.

[B]

Like, he's trying to make his fantasies more real.

[A]

I guess. Like, it's also. It's. To me, the line where, like, porn gets weird is when, like, you're speaking to a real person who can speak back to you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm assuming that's Not a functionality there. Right.

[B]

Well, we are getting closer to something.

[A]

Like a real person speaks to you.

[B]

I don't know. Again, that. Well, you could have a real person speak to you that you sign up for and you pay for.

[A]

And that's when it gets weird.

[B]

They walk you through it, but you're not looking at them. It's like a, you know, the AI version of them. I don't know. This is all gets very complicated.

[A]

If someone was like, oh, he like, follows Instagram models. No. Are they DMing?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Is there like a.

[B]

You walk in on your husband wearing a headset, jacking it. What's your first question?

[A]

Gotcha. No, that's not a question.

[B]

After you laugh at it, right?

[A]

After.

[B]

After you laugh at how crazy he looks. He looks like he's on the movie Tron.

[A]

Right?

[B]

What is.

[A]

What am I.

[B]

What's. What's the series of questions? Because I. I guess I'm curious because in my mind, I'm like, how if I walked into my wife with a headset on. Yeah. I'm like, where'd we go? Like, I. I'm kind of more turned on by the idea that she's being sexual.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, I can find a positive in it. Maybe that's my ego.

[A]

Right. I think women to be sexual with them rather than.

[B]

Of course. But I'm saying, like, to me, porn is sometimes like an escape. It's a. A, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's a glass of wine. It's a. It's a cup of coffee. It's. It's this, like, again, like you said, like, everything's fine in moderation.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, like.

[A]

Well, that's why I think my question would be like, how often do my. If I'm thinking my series of questions would probably be like, how often do you do this?

[B]

Okay, let's. Let's say he says once a week. Once a week. I. And when you're gone. When I'm gone, you're gone. You're out of the house. I'm like, chilling.

[A]

I think I'm okay with it. It's once a week. Do you like. What do you. Why do you like this more than regular porn?

[B]

It's a full body experience.

[A]

Do you feel like you're having sex with a real woman?

[B]

No, I feel like the answer. I. I mean, I don't even. I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't be able to answer for that because I don't know personally, but, like, I think we're getting close to that every day.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I Mean, I'm not like, we have to acknowledge, like, the tech is moving.

[A]

Right. It's almost interesting. It's like, if your husband had a, had a robot mistress, would it be as offensive as if they had a real mistress? I think no.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

I, I Right.

[A]

If your wife had a robot affair.

[B]

I mean, well, that he brings it to the vibrator, which the vibrator doesn't have, but it is a robot affair. It is a robot limb.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So I'm not offended by a vibrator. I think a viper is hot. Like, and also I, I can find it hot in the way where I get involved. And I can also find it hot in the way and I, I understand where I'm not involved. And this is a form of self care.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I can rationalize both.

[A]

I think again, the questions are like, how is it affecting our sex life? Like, is there, is this, Are you, are you using this in lieu of like, initiating sex?

[B]

Right. Are you?

[A]

And she said like, they had a slow couple weeks or whatever it is. I would, I think I'd be more like, what's the over Fine. Like, they would make sense to me in that context if it was like, you're no longer, you're no longer sleeping together and this is what he using. Then I'm saying it's like more of a problem. I think it's all, it's again, it's about how he's using it.

[B]

What if he's like, you won't do these types of things and that's, you know, like, that's where VR takes me to this other sexual thing I'm into that you're not into.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't know. Like, if I was with a woman that was like, you, you're not in on this.

[A]

Well, what if she was? Like, I talked to this. I talked to this. I talked to Jack. GBT about things you won't talk to me about me, with me. We're having an emotional affair. Me and chat. Gbt.

[B]

I would laugh at them. I feel like that's crazy, but.

[A]

Well, in the same way, it's crazy that you're, you know, having sex with something that's, that's doing what I can also.

[B]

Right. But I guess I'd have to be okay with being laughed at. Like, I.

[A]

Right. Would that be wrong to you?

[B]

I don't know. These are all like, such, like, they're.

[A]

Very large existential questions. Right.

[B]

What's the show we went on that never happened? It was the show with the guy.

[A]

It was supposed to be on Quibi or something.

[B]

Yeah. We went on a show once and it was the host.

[A]

Was, Was it cnn?

[B]

No. Who was the host?

[A]

Plus.

[B]

Yeah, it was CNN plus because it never came out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was a show that was all about, like, these types of questions.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, what's the, what's the morality here and all that. And I don't know, I think, like, to me, for this person to bring it back to the email, I think saying it's sad and you is a, you know, that's your, how you feel. No one can tell you how to feel. Letting them know that and finding a way to, like, you know, see it from a different angle. Yeah.

[A]

Or to use it to open up a conversation.

[B]

Yeah. Because I think if you're like, decided that this is sad, this is a loser, this is not how my life is going to be. You're going to be stuck in this forever.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And I think you got to find a way or he has to find a way to, like, explain this. And I, A less sad way. Like, I, I. Because if my wife said she's sad and by my masturbation habits. What the, like, that sucks.

[A]

I think it is, it is a little sad to see any man in that.

[B]

If you catch any men masturbating is a bad look anyway. It's an animalistic.

[A]

I kind of agree. I think that there's something sad about watching, like, the man you got up there at the altar with, like, in.

[B]

That, with a big head.

[A]

Like, there is like, I get, I get what she's saying where it's like, this is, like, this is not your best, like, not a good look.

[B]

Yeah. Just you with a big.

[A]

I'm just like, this is the guy. I married this guy. Right. It's like, I don't know. And again, I don't think, like, everyone's, I, everyone's entitled to, like, some private, personal sexual fantasies. I don't think that's wrong for either person to, to have that. I think it's about, like, the frequency and the intensity and how it affects the other things that are going on. So I think I would make that more the focus of the discussion.

[B]

Right. And I would also, to add to that, this could go in a really great direction as far as the conversation is concerned. Like, I, I, I do believe, like, I'm not hearing this question being like, it's over. Like, I, I'm like, this could go one way where he's like, I'm up. I'm not satisfied sexually. Or it can go another way where he's talking with you about his sexuality and what he likes and what you like, and now you're on a different level together and things are wonderful. So I don't think this is, like, a sad email.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So we solved dating again.

[A]

We did it. We'll be back next week. Bye.