U Up? Podcast – Episode Summary
Episode Title: He Dumped Me Because Of My Music Taste?!
Date: February 6, 2026
Hosts: Jared Freid (stand-in solo host), Brian Russell Smith (guest co-host/producer)
Podcast: U Up? by Betches Media
Episode Overview
This “Friday Feels” episode dives into the nuances of modern dating, with a particular focus on relationship dynamics, vulnerability, and how “ick” moments and personal quirks (from music taste to sexual honesty and STI conversations) influence dating outcomes. With co-founder Jordana on maternity leave, producer Brian Russell Smith joins Jared for an honest, often hilarious look at love, including sharing his story of cross-cultural, age-gap romance.
Major Segments & Key Insights
1. Behind-the-Scenes: Introducing Brian Russell Smith (00:58–03:07)
- Jared and Brian discuss Brian’s longtime work behind the scenes at Betches and the podcast, giving shoutouts to other team members.
- Brian humorously describes his first time "on the mic" after eight years at Betches.
- Banter on workplace dynamics and giving credit to the production crew.
Notable Quote:
Jared: “I can’t imagine a greater hell…having to watch this mug.” (02:37)
2. Brian’s Love Story: Age Gaps, Honesty, and Cultural Differences (03:10–16:51)
- Brian shares how he met his husband, Antonio, a Spaniard 19 years his senior, in a serendipitous gay bar encounter involving a lost coat.
- Discussion on dating norms in the gay community: greater upfront honesty, sexual compatibility, and bluntness about intentions.
- Challenges of age-gap relationships: differences in life stage, financial situations, and integrating families.
- Cultural directness in Spanish/romantic languages, and Brian’s ongoing effort to learn Spanish as a gesture of connection.
Notable Quotes:
Brian: “I was looking for my Pedro Pascal.” (03:55)
Jared: “I would argue that's probably a healthier way to go… get it out of your system and see.” (06:06)
Brian: “A good relationship is just about being real. Just honesty. That's what he does really well…a cultural thing too.” (11:41)
Brian: “On paper it would seem weird, but you see a photo and you're like, oh, he's 50. No big deal.” (15:56)
Timestamps:
- How Brian met Antonio: 03:10–05:02
- Age gap & cultural insights: 07:39–16:51
3. Advice Segment: The Valentine’s Day Cookie Dilemma (22:34–28:38)
- Listener email: Should he send homemade cookies to his girlfriend of a few months for Valentine’s, even though she’s spending it with friends?
- Both hosts agree it’s thoughtful and personal—a great move if feelings are reciprocated.
- Jared role-plays both best and worst-case brunch scenarios: Girlfriend raving over the cookies vs. using them as a segue to break up.
- The essential insight: Thoughtful actions in dating bring clarity—whether accelerating intimacy or prompting a breakup.
Notable Quotes:
Brian: “She would slide off her chair if she got cookies on Valentine’s Day.” (23:57)
Jared: “A Valentine’s Day gift is either the nicest thing you’ve done—or the reason they end it. Gifts get you answers.” (24:31, 27:21)
Jared: “You’re probably sane and well. You wanting to bake them cookies is the right decision.” (27:20)
4. Game: Icky or Picky? – Dumped for Music Taste (30:22–38:33)
- Listener wonders if her boyfriend breaking up due to “not being passionate enough about music” is valid or just picky/elitist.
- Both hosts see this as a “picky” excuse, not a legitimate relationship issue—especially since the listener was supportive and attended his events.
- Brian shares his indie rock passion, but emphasizes how strong relationships thrive when partners have unique passions and respect differences.
- Discussion of “having a type” and how being a fan of something is a positive in relationships.
- Jared suspects the boyfriend used music taste as a cover for larger relationship doubts, not the actual reason for the breakup.
Notable Quotes:
Brian: “He kind of sounds like a loser. He sounds a little bit elitist.” (31:19)
Jared: “Enough’s enough is different than ‘I hate your exact love’...saying ‘I hate Taylor Swift’ is like saying ‘I hate ketchup’—we’ve all decided, it’s pretty good.” (35:05, 35:21)
Jared: “When men want to get out of relationships, they tend to turn themselves into the most crazy version of someone that doesn’t exist.” (38:02)
Timestamps:
- Listener scenario: 30:22
- Brian’s live music stories: 32:42–33:46
- General relationship lessons: 34:03–38:33
5. Advice: How to Disclose Having Herpes (39:16–52:28)
- Listener asks: When/how do you disclose herpes to a new dating partner? Shared her experience of being vulnerable and getting a tepid, avoidant response.
- Hosts agree early, honest disclosure is good, but recommend avoiding “homework” (sending podcasts/articles right away); instead, give concise, confident info.
- Jared points out: If there’s a real connection, you can’t “screw it up”—vulnerability will not scare off the right person.
- Broader comparison is drawn with straight/gay dating and the openness in the gay community about health status and preferences.
- Suggestions: Practice a confident, informational way of sharing, don’t overexplain or apologize, trust the right person won’t penalize you.
Notable Quotes:
Brian: “You can say, ‘Hey, just a heads up, I have herpes. There’s no chance of you getting it right now, we’ll use a condom, I just wanted you to know.’” (44:56)
Jared: “You can’t fuck it up… There’s no way to screw up if someone feels a connection to you.” (45:23)
Jared: “My envy of the gay community… is the honest, specific communication.” (49:16, 51:15)
Timestamps:
- Listener scenario: 39:16
- Text exchange analysis: 41:15–42:49
- Broader discussion: 47:07–52:28
Memorable Moments & Quotes
- Brian’s “coat” meeting story with Antonio at a New York gay bar (03:10–05:02): A testament to serendipitous, honest beginnings.
- Jared’s “Valentine’s Cookie” role-play (25:47–27:21): Hilarious but revealing dramatization of gift-giving fallout.
- Honest confessions about age, class, and sexual pace in the gay community (05:32–09:53): “Test drive the car before you take it off the lot.”
- Brian’s Taylor Swift fan confession (34:19–35:38): “She’s actually the background on my phone right now.”
- Herpes disclosure advice (44:56–45:27): “If someone sent me homework from a first date… I’d be like, get this away from me!”
Episode Timestamps
- 00:58–03:07: Brian’s introduction; team shoutouts
- 03:10–16:51: Brian’s relationship story: meeting, age gap, cultural differences
- 22:34–28:38: Valentine’s cookies: thoughtful or risky?
- 30:22–38:33: Icky or Picky game: dumped over music taste
- 39:16–52:28: STI honesty: disclosing herpes, text analysis
- Throughout: Relationship communication advice, personal anecdotes, and lively banter
Podcast Tone
Conversational, honest, warm, and deeply self-aware. Both hosts are unfiltered, leaning into personal storytelling, humor, and vulnerability. The episode bounces seamlessly between heartfelt advice and tongue-in-cheek asides, making it accessible and engaging for listeners confronting similar dating scenarios.
Key Takeaways
- Early, honest communication about sticky or unconventional issues (age gaps, sexual history, music tastes, health conditions) is essential to healthy dating—but so is thoughtful presentation and timing.
- Personal quirks and differences (whether musical or medical) are rarely the "real" reason for a breakup; in most cases, they serve as convenient stand-ins for deeper incompatibilities.
- Gift-giving and thoughtful gestures are a risk in new relationships—but a worthy one, as they clarify the emotional playing field.
- Vulnerability might feel dangerous, but holds the potential for connection—when received by the right partner.
For further dating commentary and banter, follow @u.up.podcast on Instagram and check out Betches Video Club (Brian’s other show) for comfort-listening on movies and TV.
This summary captures the main content of the episode while skipping advertisements and non-content banter. Each section is designed to help listeners who missed the show catch up on all the essential stories, lessons, and laughs.