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- [00:00]
A
This episode is brought to you by Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass. One woman, one celebrity hall pass. One impossible mission. Find Jon Hamm. From director David Wayne, starring Zoe Deutsch. Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass is the laugh out loud comedy event of the summer. Catch it. Exclusively in theaters now. Hello and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the podcast. I. I'm Jordan Abraham.
- [00:28]
B
And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How you feeling on a Friday?
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A
I'm feeling good. You know, I was thinking about you when I was reading this book, and I'm trying to get the author on
- [00:43]
B
the podcast Walking Red Flag out now.
- [00:45]
A
I have not read that one anywhere you want.
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B
Okay.
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A
I've not read that. That's next on my list.
- [00:49]
B
Okay.
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A
But I'm currently reading the book Strangers.
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B
Stranger.
- [00:53]
A
Have you seen this anywhere? Around the Internet. It's like a buzz on the Internet.
- [00:57]
B
Okay, so women things. I'm not on the. Well, the chick reads algorithm.
- [01:03]
A
You've seen it be right. Yeah.
- [01:04]
B
It's like we get a flag to get on there.
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A
Yes. That's called Strangers. Yes.
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C
Okay.
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A
Basically, it's like what your greatest fear is on, like, tick tock. This is to, like, Gen X. It's like this woman, she has, like, three kids with her. Her husband leaves her, like, abruptly.
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B
Okay.
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A
Yeah, he is having an affair and he leaves her abruptly. And he, like, a few days before their wedding, he, like, had asked to, like, change the prenup terms and basically, like, the. I haven't finished it yet. But the idea is that, like, he basically, like, scams her out of, like, whatever she's like, do in her. In her.
- [01:42]
B
In the divorce.
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A
In the divorce. And he, like, doesn't really speak to his kids, and they're both very rich. Like, he's. They're like, from New York City. She's like. I think she's like a Vanderbilt heir or something like that. And he's. He's like a finance, like, guy. They have, like, a house in Nantucket. They have a house in, you know, they own an apartment in the city and they have, like, property everywhere. Basically, like, she uses her trusts to buy these properties and he basically has been, like, hiding money from her. So. And this book is basically like a tell all of, like, the end of her marriage oh, wow thing. And he's like, you can look him up. Like, she didn't use his real name, but, like, you could use.
- [02:22]
B
That's why it's so juicy. Is like this is a high profile guy, right? And she's basically in the strangers is because I married a stranger essentially type of thing. And she's telling her side on.
- [02:35]
A
Yes. And the first page is basically like this is what happened as I remember it.
- [02:41]
B
It's. And that's kind of all you have to say, right, to absolve yourself. You can say there's three. You can say there's two sides to every story and then tell your story. And then people, you know, what do they say? The retraction is never as bad as the.
- [02:55]
A
As the, the like ask for forgiveness.
- [02:59]
B
Right. But you never read about the retraction. The retraction is like at the end of the newspaper. Hey, last week we might have up
- [03:05]
A
like whatever amount name for him. But like you know who.
- [03:08]
B
Like so go. And whatever amount she says that is in question. He can debate it, but we only listen to the most.
- [03:18]
A
Well, it's funny that you say that side because like I think the New Yorker some, some New York Times in the New Yorker or something did like an investigation into their actual divorce which is like public. And apparently she was not left quite as like destitute. Destitute as she makes herself out to be. But like no one really cares.
- [03:33]
B
No one cares. You. I mean the math is all that matters. You were left with less than you deserve. Deserve. And that's it. That no one really.
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A
Yes.
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B
Takes the side of financier guy who cheated on his wife, you know.
- [03:50]
A
Right. Well, it's funny because it just feels like again like the Gen X version of your worst fear.
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B
Right. You get left, you end a relationship.
- [03:58]
A
I guess she's not making tick tocks.
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B
Right.
- [04:01]
A
She's writing a book. Writing a book and kind of embarrassing. You write your version of these events.
- [04:06]
B
Well, this is kind of I guess my. Yeah. The. But the book. I don't know why a book hits different. Like it's almost.
- [04:14]
A
More details, more nuanced.
- [04:15]
B
More. More nuanced. Like a tick tock. Reading the comments is almost as bad as the tick tock that gets made. You know, like, and then when people go to look I. And I think, I mean there are
- [04:25]
A
definitely comments because this book got so big. Sure.
- [04:27]
B
But the civility, I think of the age of a Gen X person is way more than like we talk about the. The on reality tv. We talk about. We're, we're. We're on Taylor Swift's wedding.
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A
That's what we do.
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B
That's what we do. We don't want Taylor Swift to have to like we don't need heads on stakes.
- [04:48]
A
No.
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B
I think that there's a feeling, and this is a feeling that heads on stakes are needed from people. Like, there's like this other. I. I never.
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A
You know, I totally agree. You know, I used to. I would talk about Justin Timberlake and how I didn't understand the appeal and how I didn't like his music, and I just, like, thought he kind of stank. And then when he got arrested for his dui, I got so many dms being like, how happy are you that Justin Timberlake is, like, getting pulled over for you? I'm like, I don't, like, want him to, like, be canceled. Like, I just. I'm just, like, joking around.
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B
I don't want. Right.
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A
I don't want his life to be ruined.
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B
I don't want to walk down the street and see Justin Timberlake in tattered rags.
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A
Right. Begging for begging dollars.
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B
Right. And then for us to go, I guess you shouldn't have up then, you know, like.
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A
Right.
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B
That's what it feels like that there is. And again, these are feelings, you know, I don't know how true they are, but this is a feeling I think a lot of people have. Like, we were talking at the end of last week's Wednesday's episode about being creative and how fearful it seems that, you know, to draw outside the box for young people, like, how fearful they might be to, you know, to go and take a chance. And, you know, that's all that's tough. Like, I don't know. Like, I. I always have this thought of, like, would I have started comedy if the Internet didn't exist? And then would I have started if it existed as the way it's existed today? Right. And I have that thought a lot. Like, because when I first started, I had access to all these things that I could do. Like, I could go, Google, where's the open mic? You know, like, I could go, oh, I want to sign up for a. A sketch class. I didn't have to wait in line outside of ucb. I could go online and, you know, go sign up for a sketch class and.
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A
Right. I think about that with batches, too, all the time.
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B
Right.
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A
If the Internet existed as it did today, would this be something we would feel like wanting to do, be good at versus the timing just align.
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B
Timing is so much of life, you know, like, when. That's why it's so hard to not, you know, when someone talks about the timing is timing, is it ever the timing? And it's like, yes, of course. Everything is time.
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A
I mean, it started from a blog, right?
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B
Like, you wouldn't even know what a blog is today.
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A
Right.
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B
You know, like, you know, but like, for. To put it in relationship terms, like, oh, is the timing sometimes not right?
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A
Yeah.
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B
Like, Uber would have been an event, wouldn't have been invented without your phone having location technology. Like the technology of Google Maps. Like, Uber only happens after Google Maps happens.
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A
Right.
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B
You know, like one has to beget the other. Like, that is a kind of a crazy. You know, So I don't know. The. The. The chance, you know, how do things work out? And the sliding doors of it all.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Even that reference to a movie that maybe people have never seen.
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A
I haven't even seen it, but I know what the reference.
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B
You know, the reference. It's a cultural reference now, but of a lightly seen movie.
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A
Yes.
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B
You know, like, it's all timing, so it's funny.
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A
Yeah. But this book, I. I would love to. If you're listening, Bell Burden, or someone who's related to her, I think it would be. I have so many questions after reading this book in the dating relationship space.
- [08:13]
B
And. Well, that's. That's the thing. She just wrote a book and submitted it.
- [08:17]
A
Well, she's also like, I always kind of wanted to be a writer, but my husband didn't really want me to work. And then, hey, now she wrote this book that is like, actually, like a number one New York Times bestseller. I. Please.
- [08:29]
C
Still.
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A
Come on.
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B
Not all of us can get that New York Times bestseller. Yeah.
- [08:35]
A
Do we need a minute?
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B
I'll be okay.
- [08:37]
A
I'm sorry.
- [08:38]
B
Listen, I guess the audience didn't do enough.
- [08:42]
A
No, we're not mad at you. It's okay.
- [08:44]
B
Not mad. I'm disappointed.
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A
Disappointed? Yes. No, but this. I mean, you. That now you know what sells? A just takedown of an hopefully situation.
- [08:54]
B
I get left in a divorce with a billion dollars instead of $2 billion.
- [08:58]
A
Yes. And then you can write yours.
- [09:00]
B
At least this woman can have one win.
- [09:03]
A
Well, I also have questions.
- [09:04]
B
Did he end up with questions about the man?
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A
I heard he. Again, I haven't finished the book yet, but I heard he, like, is no longer with her. But. And she basically says he, like, abandoned her and the kids. It's basically as soon as Covid started, this was like. It's Covid. They all. They go to, like, their Nantucket house to quarantine. The mistress texts her, or the mistress's husband texts her, like, my. Your wife. Your husband is having an affair with my wife. And then he, like, leaves the next day. And she says, like, out of nowhere, right? She says out of nowhere. But like, you know, it's nothing's out. It's never out of nowhere.
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B
I, well, I mean, looking back at Covet, that's kind of, that's a real relationship shake up immediately. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that didn't, that happened in on all levels.
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A
Right.
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B
You know, happens. Oh, that person I've been kind of sleeping with for a few years. I got a chance to like, give a hard and fast reason to get out of here. Like, yes.
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A
Or to go all in.
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B
Right.
- [10:01]
A
Why not?
- [10:02]
B
Yeah.
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A
No time. Like, can't go out and meet anyone new.
- [10:04]
B
Right. Might as well. I mean, like, I, you know, there's a lot of people that started listening to this show during COVID you know, and I remember when we, we were like, I remember it was like this debate of like, whether we should do it or not or what we should do and how we should work. How do we do it? No, I remember when we did the first episode, it was like, be like, listen, gloves on.
- [10:24]
A
Subway gloves on.
- [10:25]
B
The petri dish changes. But we still need to find love. You know, Like, I, I, if there people still want to.
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A
It's a constant.
- [10:32]
B
It's a constant good business to be in love business. So this, this podcast will.
- [10:36]
A
Those were some fun emails. If you haven't listened, if you didn't listen during COVID that's really, those are really like, of the time.
- [10:41]
B
It was great of the time. And it's also like, it just shows you, like, everything stays the same, like the anxieties, like, you still want to go on a first date.
- [10:50]
A
Yeah.
- [10:51]
B
You know, you still have a bad first date. I, I don't know. I was proud of this show when we did it during COVID even did a live show. Live show. But I just, the idea, because there were so many people that all they talked about was that all they talked about was like, the horrific and what's gonna happen. And we just were like, you can come over here, right? You up and have some fun for an hour.
- [11:11]
A
For an hour.
- [11:12]
B
And that's what this show's for. If you have a friend, a family member, a co worker, someone who's looking for a break from the everyday struggles of their life. Tell them about the show. UUPP betches.com Send in your emails. We love to chew on the bone. We love specifics. We love specificity.
- [11:30]
A
We do.
- [11:31]
B
And I'm on the road if you want to come. Take a break from your life and laugh for Every minute for an hour. That's the promise. I don't think anyone on earth is. Every minute for an hour.
- [11:41]
A
That's what you're promising.
- [11:42]
B
That's a promise.
- [11:43]
A
Yeah, that's on the flyer.
- [11:44]
B
That's on. I put it on there.
- [11:46]
A
I.
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B
The. The goal is every. Is a laugh every 10 seconds.
- [11:49]
A
Okay.
- [11:50]
B
If it's only every minute, every 10
- [11:52]
A
seconds seems like not enough time to fully get out a well formed.
- [11:55]
B
I want someone to literally die in the crowd from choking on laughter. That is like my goal. Yeah. If someone died, that would be.
- [12:02]
A
I think it's better to have fewer, better laughs. No, like, way. And I think the way you do it is like an art in that way where it's like you set up the story.
- [12:10]
B
Right. But I want to build. I want. Like you want, like, like.
- [12:14]
A
I just laughs during the building.
- [12:16]
B
I want laughs during the bit. I love a certain momentum. I'm a physical comic. I like to move and dance and sing. I have a bit I did last night. It was a new bit about going to a nutritionist and how have you been doing that? No, just. It's actually a very negative nutrition. I. Sorry, is that your.
- [12:37]
A
Is that your new.
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B
That's my new Rob Lowe.
- [12:39]
A
Oh, and I was going to say. Or is that your new, like, speech pathologist?
- [12:43]
B
Well, yeah, no, the. The. The. The thing I had against speech pathologist was very different than the thing I have against nutritionist.
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A
Okay.
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B
Speech pathologist. My thing was always that they moved to New York City and they made it seem like they were like a hero, but really they. And everyone knows the speech. I've given it before. But they were really looking for a job that was like, really well suited to having a nice life and. Which, which. Good for you. But don't tell me, don't make it out to be this heroic mission of helping people out when it was really like, I can work in the school system and I make more money and I get summers off. Like, that was always the speech pathologist thing. That.
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A
What's the nutritionist?
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B
The nutritionist issue I always have is that they don't know how to speak to someone who is coming to them.
- [13:30]
A
Okay, like, like doctors we said on the last week.
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B
Right. I. I think something that is overlooked is like, I'm calling to a nutritionist because I have nowhere else to go and I eat like a crazy person and I just want to, like, try and make this problem go away.
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C
Right.
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B
And then they're like, say. And the whole bit is just how they say, like, the snacks they give you and you're like, that's the snack, like, right. You know?
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A
Well, the tough. The tough part about all that is they're always like, it's not a diet, it's a lifestyle. And it's like, oh, that's the rest of my life. I have to eat this horrible snack, right?
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B
That's even worse, right?
- [14:07]
A
That makes it worse.
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B
This never ends.
- [14:09]
A
Yes.
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B
Yeah. So I'm talking.
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A
I could eat a horrible snack for like a few weeks, right? I'm gonna eat it forever. I have an event coming, right?
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B
When does this end? How does it. How does. So that was the. The bit has like pieces to it, but it's all pieces.
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A
Okay.
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B
But I want to get to this end part that is like big. Like, I want it to lead to somewhere. Where is it going? Sometimes a bit goes nowhere. You have to put it away. You do it.
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A
Put it out to pasture, shoot it, take it out in the yard.
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B
Or you have to do it when you're ready. Sometimes you're not ready to tell a joke, you know, on the special that's coming out, like, emotionally ready. Emotionally ready. I had the family plan joke. The. The joke about being on my parents cell phone plan I've been telling since I've been 26 years old.
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A
Okay.
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B
And then I put it away. I was like, it's not working. It's not really relevant to my life. I was off of my parents cell phone plan. I left it.
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A
Are you back now?
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B
Then I was back. And when I went back to it, I was like, it's funny. I'm 38 and on my parents cell phone plan.
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A
Are you still on it?
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B
Still on it. We had an issue the other day. My mom. I mean, someone take the upgrade. My. That's always an issue. My mom. This story's way too crazy to tell, but my mom was going to get a new phone and they were trying. My mom was trying to take over her friend's phone who passed.
- [15:28]
A
Is that what happens?
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B
When. I don't know.
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A
Is that how it works?
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B
My parents have a good friend who passed away.
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A
They want her actual self.
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B
Rest in peace, Bobby Joe. Okay. They have a. So then a man. A man.
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A
A man, right? Yes.
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B
My parents had this friend.
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A
Yes. We talked about on benefits.
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B
We talked about on benefits. And Bobby's phone is just there. And my mom's like, he told me I could have it. And so now she wants it as
- [15:53]
A
like her main phone.
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B
Right. And I'm like, like, you know how hard it is to change getting a New phone is like a day off. So then they have to try and get this phone unlocked, which is very difficult to do. And it's my parents fucking Mr. And Mrs. Magoo walking into T mobile. Hey, we have this phone from our dead friend. Like, can you imagine anyone you would want to help? Less than two boomers who have their dead friend's phone, who are like, help us, right? I can't even get my parents.
- [16:27]
A
I don't even know if anyone's allowed to get into that phone, right?
- [16:29]
B
And then they find out the phone is stolen.
- [16:33]
A
What?
- [16:33]
B
Yeah.
- [16:34]
A
So Bobby stole the phone.
- [16:36]
B
Bobby had a lot of things going on that maybe that, like, like now this. So then they find out the phone is stolen. And then my dad calls me.
- [16:45]
A
That's a story in itself.
- [16:47]
B
My dad's getting in a fight with T mobile. He texts my brother and I, both of you find your new plans. By the end of the day, my brother's in Banff with. On a family vacation with his in laws.
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A
The end of the day, right?
- [16:58]
B
And I go, I go, I this is my whole life.
- [17:00]
A
Wow.
- [17:01]
B
I go, no, this isn't how it works.
- [17:04]
A
Taking your children away from you, right?
- [17:05]
B
I go, listen, my whole business is on this phone. I look at it every five seconds.
- [17:09]
A
So because he's mad, because he's mad at T Mobile, right, that he's. They won't let him into the phone,
- [17:14]
B
so now he's taking it out on us. And he says, find your own plan. And I go, that's not how this works.
- [17:21]
A
Okay?
- [17:21]
B
Like, we can find a plan and then you can go on your phone. Let's do it based on who has more to do this week. You have to play golf and gin. Why don't you hold off?
- [17:34]
A
Like, okay, and what he said, what was his.
- [17:36]
B
Oh, my mom is like, he's ridiculous. He's just odd. That's why. That's her new thing. No, my dad.
- [17:42]
A
Oh, that you're like.
- [17:43]
B
She's saying, But I'm like, you're the one who started this whole project. You. My mom gets fixated, so she has to get the phone done. Has to get the phone done. So they've been a T mobile.
- [17:53]
A
Why does she want his phone?
- [17:54]
B
Because it's new. That's the thing. My parents, my mom loves anything new.
- [17:58]
A
How new? How recently did he steal it?
- [18:00]
B
This is stuff I don't know yet. These are. There are more questions than answers.
- [18:05]
A
Just like swipe it from someone at like the country club, like, mess hall.
- [18:10]
B
Listen, there's more. There's stuff. I can't.
- [18:13]
A
This is like the Netflix documentary.
- [18:14]
B
This is how it starts that truly. So we found his phone and we just wanted to, like, found out it was stolen. Then we find out stolen. Turns out, you know, Bobby was living
- [18:23]
A
a second life and he didn't leave her the code. He might not have really wanted her to have it that badly.
- [18:28]
B
We don't know what Bobby wanted and didn't want. Bobby, I could go on and on. I have a lot of opinions. Rest in peace. He was a great guy.
- [18:37]
A
Whole episode on this phone thing, we.
- [18:39]
B
I could do a whole. I mean, I don't know half the story. They ended up at Publix eating chicken fingers like they didn't care that much.
- [18:46]
C
So.
- [18:47]
A
Right. I mean, they had bones.
- [18:49]
B
They just left T mobile, went to Publix.
- [18:51]
A
Wow.
- [18:52]
B
I want good chicken finger.
- [18:54]
A
Your parents have the dream life.
- [18:55]
B
Oh, my God. They just texted me. Now they're on the beach. They took a vacation randomly. They're on Vero Beach.
- [19:02]
A
Oh, where's that?
- [19:03]
B
Beautiful North Florida. Okay, so they went to the beach in a different part of Florida.
- [19:08]
A
My mom was upset because she heard your mom on the. On the podcast and she wants to know why she's never been called to. To answer questions.
- [19:15]
B
Saw this coming from a thousand miles away.
- [19:17]
A
So did I.
- [19:18]
B
So what did she say? She wants to be called.
- [19:20]
A
She wants to be given. I mean, my mom has been. Has been dating for.
- [19:24]
B
Your mom is way more of an expert than my mom, than you, than all of us. She's an actual.
- [19:30]
A
My mom has been married many times,
- [19:32]
B
but I. I gynecologist.
- [19:34]
A
Does that. Does that qualify you by give dating?
- [19:36]
B
Someone could write in about their pussy and we could give it a. You know, she will.
- [19:40]
A
She would love that.
- [19:42]
B
Yeah. I think we should go to her.
- [19:44]
A
You have an issue with your vagina and dating?
- [19:46]
B
Any vaginal issue. Bring it here.
- [19:48]
A
I won't call my mom.
- [19:49]
B
I think that's when we should call her because I would love to hear her in doctor diagnosis.
- [19:54]
A
Yeah, well, we should have, right?
- [19:56]
B
Yeah, we can talk about that.
- [19:58]
A
Yeah. I mean, my mom. The issue with my mom is that she won't leave the show.
- [20:03]
B
Yeah, that's like. Once you call her, you can hang up.
- [20:05]
A
Once. Once you call her, she will not let, like, let you off you.
- [20:10]
B
How do you get off?
- [20:10]
A
She'll take over the show.
- [20:11]
B
Yeah. But you go. Okay, got to go. Ah, goodbye. Goodbye, T. And then you hang out.
- [20:16]
A
Okay. I have to try that.
- [20:17]
B
That's how I do it.
- [20:17]
A
I'm going to practice that one. All right. Next next time if you send in your vagina questions and we'll you have
- [20:22]
B
vagina questions uup betes.com if you have if you want to come to a show, I'm on the road. I'm going to be in Foxwoods, Portland, Maine, Huntington, New York. I got more dates coming, so let's go to the show. You ready?
- [20:40]
A
Let's do it. Your summer runs just got a boost
- [20:46]
C
of energy in Lululemon's Shake It Out Shorts. Made in our ultra breezy, lightweight Swift fabric, the Shake It Out Shorts have a flowy layered hem and a comfy built in liner. These shorts keep you locked in for miles with distraction, free storage and a waist fan that doesn't budge wear. They might just be the shortcut to your summer goals. Shop the Shake It out shorts now@lululemon.com this episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling Smart move, Another smart move getting help from one of State Farm's 19,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state. Hey friends. Olivia from Ollie between new routines and the ultimate group project known as parenting, you need science backed solutions that work with your life. That's where Olli comes in. Start your mornings off right with multis made to support nutrition and immune health. Choose from our lineup of gut supporting probiotics and we've got occasional sleep support to help the whole fam chase their big dreams. Head back to class with the number one Gummy supplement brand. Stock up on ollie.com today. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or Prevent any disease.
- [22:07]
B
Uup.com hey Captains J&J of the U up Train. What an opening. I'm writing as an avid listener and subscriber. You help me go from laughing, happy dater to engaged. As far as what is the difference
- [22:23]
A
between regular engaged and engaged as that
- [22:26]
B
means they're really in love.
- [22:27]
A
They're so engaged.
- [22:28]
B
They're so engaged. Okay, no one's going to be getting in their way. Thanks for making dating fun even if I'm not doing it anymore. Sending love to both of you guys. Well, thank you. Here's my petty or prudent from college Now a petty or prudent is the relationship Ends, you react accordingly. And were you being petty or. Or was it prudent to have the reaction that you had? It also happens to be morally questionable. My ex in my early 20s, was pretty bad at school. He made a lot of money fixing up cars. And since I was doing college on autopilot. Don't drag me for saying this, please. I told him he could pay me to take his class online for him. I don't. Why would anyone drag her for this?
- [23:10]
A
I mean, I guess it's not. It's technically wrong to not take your own classes.
- [23:15]
B
Did you ever cheat in college?
- [23:16]
C
Of course.
- [23:17]
B
Yeah. What am I think? What are we, losers all the time?
- [23:19]
A
I used to have a. I used to have a homework like ring going on. I would ask one person for their homework in one class and the other person in their. From their homework from another class, and then I would swap them and give that, like, as a trade, and then I would take them both.
- [23:34]
B
You were a. You were a homework barter system.
- [23:38]
A
It was like a homework, like. Like. Like, I guess a middleman. Yeah, I was the homework middleman, but I got both. I didn't. Yes, I was like. I was fine. Yeah.
- [23:48]
B
Yeah, Bookie.
- [23:49]
A
Yes. I was trading. I was trading people who were all in the same classes so that I would get the. As. The. As the management fee.
- [23:55]
B
Unbelievable.
- [23:56]
A
Yes.
- [23:56]
B
I love it. I once paid a guy to, like, just do my. I had to make a website for a class. I was like, I don't know how to do this.
- [24:03]
A
So you just paid someone to do
- [24:04]
B
it like you do it?
- [24:05]
A
How'd they do?
- [24:06]
B
I think I. I'm here. I told him he could pay me to take his online class from. We had a very traumatic breakup over spring break, and so I quit taking his classes for him, obvi. But not before.
- [24:21]
A
It's so funny if she kept doing
- [24:23]
B
it, I guess I'm in this class now. So I quit taking his classes for him, obvi. But not before submitting an essay detailing his moral failings in the class. Psychology. I found out he passed the class anyways. But I've got to know. Petty or prudent? What do you think writing a paper telling the person. The professor that the person you're writing the paper for is cheating, so.
- [24:50]
A
Oh, okay. So that's what she did, right?
- [24:52]
B
She basically wrote a paper letting the professor know that this person isn't.
- [24:57]
A
I mean, writing their own. That's very petty. I think that's like pretty. Pretty 100% petty. Because she was all for the cheating when she Was dating him.
- [25:06]
B
Right. And it's. You've turned in.
- [25:09]
A
Yeah.
- [25:10]
B
Accomplice. Right. Like, you're. Like, if the runaway car guy turns in everybody after doing the crime.
- [25:16]
A
Yeah. That's crazy.
- [25:18]
B
Like, you're a rat.
- [25:18]
A
You're a snitch. Yeah.
- [25:19]
B
Yeah. You're. You. You're the lowest of the low.
- [25:22]
A
But also, she didn't even need to. So she's really a snitch. It's not even like someone, like, asked her.
- [25:26]
B
Right. She could have just went on her merry way. This. What. What would be prudent about this? That you saved the moral nature of the class. Like that you let everyone know. No.
- [25:38]
A
Yeah. Petty.
- [25:39]
B
Petty and a snitch. The worst of our kind.
- [25:43]
A
If you found out someone did this, you were dating them. Let's say Emily told you she did this, that she.
- [25:48]
B
That she did this to someone else.
- [25:50]
A
Yeah.
- [25:51]
B
It would make me think of them differently.
- [25:53]
A
You would remember?
- [25:54]
B
Yeah. How could I trust them? It'd be hard.
- [25:57]
A
You would never do anything illegal with her again.
- [25:59]
B
You'd know, right?
- [26:01]
A
Well, it depends how she. I think it would depend on how she talked about it now. You know, I used to be a real piece of.
- [26:07]
B
It's really funny to see how people react to doing things wrong. Like, they're.
- [26:12]
A
I mean, I just bragged about a totally.
- [26:14]
B
But that says. I think that, like, informs your personality. Yeah, I went. I went recently. I was with Emily's family, and we went to, like, this area where there was a bookstore. And Emily's like, I want to go in the bookstore and see if they have Walking Red Flag available now. So I was like, yeah, let's go in and see. So we all go in the bookstore. It's. Her parents are there, too, and they find the book. The book is there, which is very cool. See the book in. In the bookstore. And then Emily's like, you gotta sign the book. You gotta sign it. You know, someone can so pick up
- [26:56]
A
a signed copy, right?
- [26:57]
B
So I pick up my pen, and I. I'm like, this will be a fun treat for someone. It feels a little wrong. You're writing in a book that's in a bookstore.
- [27:05]
A
They don't. No one knows you're the author, right?
- [27:07]
B
And I just. And then, like, her dad sees this and is like, well, you have to tell them. And I'm like, no, I was gonna leave this and be on my merry way.
- [27:21]
A
Right?
- [27:22]
B
And he's like, that's the rule. You gotta let them know.
- [27:26]
A
Okay?
- [27:27]
B
And I go, okay. Like, what am I supposed to do?
- [27:31]
C
Like.
- [27:31]
B
Like, now we're getting to know each other. Yes, sir. And Emily was like, come on. Like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, at this point, I want nothing to do with this Right.
- [27:41]
C
Discussion.
- [27:42]
A
So you went and told them.
- [27:43]
B
So then I go to the desk, and it's like, a bookstore. The one thing I've learned about book. No, it was like, an independent bookstore, okay? The one thing you learn about writing a book and maybe you saw this is like, book people are in the book business. Like, everyone who does book stuff loves books, right?
- [27:59]
A
And that's mostly, like, all of what they love, right? They're not. They probably don't know who you are.
- [28:04]
B
They don't know who I am. They. They love books, and they want to. Like, no matter where in the office they work, whether they're the CEO or they're the PR agent or the cashier, they want to sit in that corner and curl up and talk to nobody. All book people are book people.
- [28:23]
A
Yes.
- [28:23]
B
So I go to the desk, and there's this guy at the register. And I'm like. And he is like, on. And I go, hey, sir. So. And he goes, do you need anything today? And I'm like, this guy. Immediately, I was like, it's not who I want to deal with. Okay, you don't want to deface your book.
- [28:44]
A
You don't have to explain this, right?
- [28:46]
B
I go, well, I'm an author. He goes, really? And I go, and I have a book that's in the store. He goes, which book is it? And I'm like, yeah, it's called Walking Red Flag. And I. I. I'd like to sign it. He goes, where can I find the book? Like, like, he's now like, where's this book? And I'm like, oh, my God. They're gonna force me to buy them to buy my own book.
- [29:10]
A
The most embarrassing that you signed, right? Write a note for yourself.
- [29:15]
B
So I. He brings. I go, well, I already signed. He goes, you already signed it? And I go, yeah, I already signed it. I can show you my id. Like, I'm like. And it's like this.
- [29:25]
A
Like, you are the author, right?
- [29:26]
B
I'm like, it's me, I swear. He goes. He goes, let me go see what you've done to the book. Brings me what you've done to the book you violated. He's like, we do a special bookmark with books that have been signed by the author. So I would. And so it ended up working out.
- [29:43]
A
And he's, like, mad at you.
- [29:44]
B
No, he was like. But he was just very direct.
- [29:46]
A
Okay.
- [29:47]
B
And all I could think is, like, oh, my God, this is the most embarrassing thing ever. In front of my girlfriend's parents, they're gonna, like, make me buy my own book. And I'm only doing this because I'm trying to do right by them.
- [29:58]
A
Yeah.
- [29:58]
B
I mean, it turned out to be like, her dad was right. Like, he. And ended up. They, like, put in a special part of the store. Oh, that's signed by the author. Like, it worked out in the way that you would want it.
- [30:10]
A
I mean, the best way it would work out is if the book is if the bookstore guy that you spoke to was like, oh, my God, it's Jared Freed. Right? The author of Walking Red Flag. I can't believe you're here. Let me. I need to tell everyone.
- [30:22]
B
Let me. Let me add on to that. That would. That would. The only way. It would be even better than that. Jared Freed, author of Walking Red Flag. And I'm like, it's me. And then someone else goes, who? And they're like, this is the best dating book author ever. I read this book. It's amazing. And then the person goes, I'll buy one. And then they buy it.
- [30:44]
A
Line out the door.
- [30:45]
B
The minute they ring the register, someone comes in from the New York Times and goes, you were one away from making the top 10. And that's when I make it.
- [30:54]
A
Yes.
- [30:56]
B
Didn't happen.
- [30:57]
A
Creativity.
- [30:58]
B
Thanks a lot.
- [30:59]
A
Our third one didn't make it either.
- [31:01]
B
Third one? They said it was the audio book. The audio sales did well.
- [31:07]
A
Okay, well, you. I mean, that makes sense. You're not a reader.
- [31:10]
B
I'm an audio guy. Yeah, so. But it's weird that it doesn't count the same.
- [31:16]
A
It doesn't. I thought it's like. It's not like one to one.
- [31:19]
B
The New York Times bestsellers. Listen, now I'm talking about a list I didn't make, but it's based on their own. Hippie, dippy, whatever, their own algorithm. They don't want to tell it because they need the list to matter.
- [31:32]
A
So no one else does the same list.
- [31:35]
B
Well, you know, you and some of your CEO friends could write a book and then buy. You know, Taylor Swift could write a book and then buy all her own books.
- [31:45]
A
Right.
- [31:45]
B
And it wouldn't dent her life. You know, like, I think they were in fear of that. They don't want someone, like, hacking the system. Yeah. Okay, so Big loser. I have a special coming out. Netflix. Let's make it up.
- [32:02]
A
Yes.
- [32:02]
B
Okay.
- [32:03]
A
You Guys, you up. But you still have your chance to come back.
- [32:07]
B
I up the book, the publisher up. I don't know. I don't want to put blame on anyone.
- [32:12]
A
It's. I mean, it could still be selling very well without the. Well, that's the scam.
- [32:16]
B
Listen, I. As long as we get to the next well, the. The problem is, it's like, did it produce? What did it produce?
- [32:23]
A
That's.
- [32:24]
B
I live in. What is it? What did it create? Did it create. You know, I don't know. That's the disappointing part of the book. It's not that.
- [32:33]
A
Right.
- [32:34]
B
I got paid nicely. That's. That's always.
- [32:36]
A
That's all that matters.
- [32:37]
B
That's all that matters is money. No, I got paid to do it, so that's nice. I appreciate that. But I'm like, you know, when you're in comedy, and I think it's like, I'm very worried about two years from now, you know, I'm not worried about. I've always been like that. I'm always like, it's never enough. Never enough. And that's a horrible. That's kind of a tough person to be around. Maybe it's a tough person to listen to.
- [33:00]
A
I think everyone is like that with something.
- [33:02]
B
Yeah.
- [33:03]
A
You know, Dr. Naomi would call it seeking. Seeking Mindset.
- [33:07]
B
I've heard her say that. Yeah.
- [33:08]
A
Yes. I think we're all like that. Maybe not with our jobs necessarily, but with something. It's never.
- [33:14]
B
I. I wonder, is there an amount, like, is there a life that you. Look at that you're like, I could just turn off and be a nothing. Like living in the woods. Like, is there something that makes you stop seeking?
- [33:27]
A
Theoretically, yes, But I think once you actually got there, it wouldn't actually be right.
- [33:32]
B
I have a dream of, like, living off in the country with Dr. Naomi. Me and Dr. Together. No screen? No, there'd be plenty of screens. I just. I have this thought of, like, just on a ranch.
- [33:46]
A
Yeah. What would it take for you to get there?
- [33:48]
B
I don't know what it would take.
- [33:49]
A
I.
- [33:50]
B
Like you said, I don't know.
- [33:51]
A
I think once you got there. I don't think you would. I think there would be another goalpost that would be moved.
- [33:55]
B
Right. Right. I don't know. I. I'd like to be the, like, I. The eccentric uncle. Some dude that lives on the block. What do they do? That guy's just always around. I don't know. I'd like to, like, be retired in that way. Retired in that way.
- [34:14]
A
Yeah. But I could see that for you?
- [34:16]
B
Yeah, just a puttering weirdo.
- [34:19]
A
Is that what people say about. Isn't that what people say about Bobby though?
- [34:22]
B
Well, Bobby, not to bring up Bobby. Bobby didn't have a family.
- [34:28]
A
So again, like that with a family,
- [34:30]
B
yeah, what does he do?
- [34:31]
A
But with a family, why is his phone stolen?
- [34:35]
B
Foreign.
- [34:40]
A
This episode is sponsored by better help in 2026. Mental health is mainstream. People are more open about their struggles than they've ever been. And therapy speak is the dominant language on my for you page. In spite of all that, asking for help can still feel impossible. The gap between believing in mental health support and actually seeking that support is wide. And whether it's because of the cost of therapy, the work it takes to find the right therapist, or societal pressure to figure it out on their own, many people don't seek out the help they need. I think there's a lot of discussion about therapy that I see online and you know, just like in my anecdotally among my friends. But not everyone actually makes the move to actually seek a therapist, which is really where all the change actually comes in. I've been seeing a therapist for years and nothing has helped me improve my mental health as much as seeing a licensed therapist has. 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Instacart helps take care of delivering the things you need with the quality you deserve so that you're free to take care of life. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like. I have always historically been a jeans and a T shirt girl. There's nothing that I love more than a good quality just like white tea that makes me look good and it's really comfortable. And Skims has got this down. I have their cotton rib T shirt in. I think the color is called marble. It's beautiful, kind of like off white. I wore it on the show, I think maybe last week so you can see it on me in last week's episode. It does everything for me. I love an outfit you don't have to think about that you know is going to look good, that you know is going to make all of your different parts stand out, look great, be comfortable. Skims has just got this on lock. They know what they're doing and every time I put on one of their T shirts and I have several, I have them in all the different colors. I have them in soot, which is basically like their black color. I have it in white. I there's one for every occasion and for me that's really all I need for the summer because I just like to keep it simple. I like to know I'm what I'm putting on is going to look good. I don't have time to do a million outfit changes. Jeans and a T shirt, that's it for me. And Skims is my go to for that. You can always trust them for that. Honestly, there's nothing more versatile than Skims cotton jersey T shirt. They have a high quality product. It looks good, it hugs you in the right places. You always know you're going to look your best in it. You keep it simple and you look hot. Shop Skims, Cotton and all my favorite pieces@skims.com after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows. Let's do an email. Yeah hi jj, Love the podcast. You always find the nuance in situations while still making me laugh, so I'd love your perspective. Okay My husband and I are in our mid-30s and have been together for 11 years and married for almost three. Before marriage, our relationship felt solid. We had normal disagreements, but overall communication and connection were good. Things changed after we got married and I started a master's degree. I couldn't work full time, so money became tight and he quickly grew resentful that we couldn't take trips or spend like we used to. Over the next year and a half, he became distant, cold and dismissive. Whenever I tried to connect or communicate, I became pathetic and desperate for the affection he used to showed me. At the end of 2025, I went through his phone and found sexual messages and photos he had been sending to men and trans women through an anonymous chat app. When confronted, he apologized, begged me to stay, agreed to therapy, and said his behavior was out of a curiosity that he can't really explain, but that he is not gay. A few months later I found out he had downloaded and deleted a Gay Buy alternative dating app, trying to keep it hidden in his phone. After reassuring me that he wasn't doing this anymore, he claimed he was checking whether his account had been deleted, but also sometimes downloaded it out of boredom. I also discovered that throughout our relationship, even before marriage and before our financial struggles, he had downloaded multiple anonymous chat apps as well as dating apps Tinder, Bumble, etc He promises he probably downloaded them out of boredom and that it was stupid. I've been about to divorce several times, but each time he convinces me to stay, saying it's all in the past and that he doesn't want to lose me. He insists he has never met up with anyone in person. Since then, he has changed many behaviors. We're in couples therapy, he's much more attentive and affectionate, helps around the house. He is less secretive with his phone and shares his location with me at all times. The problem is that I can't shake the betrayal. He sent sexual messages and photos to strangers. While I've only gotten like two dick pics from him in all the years we've been together. Where are my dick pics? I've constantly wonder whether he's truly changed or just gotten better at hiding things. I haven't checked his phone in months because it's emotionally exhausting and part of me wonders whether I already have all the information I need. Do you think this sounds like someone who is genuinely changing? Or am I setting myself up for more hurt? Is it realistic to rebuild trust after this? Or should repeated deception be the answer itself? Am I just dumb? Thanks. A distrusting.
- [40:57]
B
Hey. What?
- [40:59]
A
Looks like the couple's therapy is not going that well.
- [41:02]
B
No. To me it sounds like nothing's going well.
- [41:05]
A
Yeah.
- [41:06]
B
I'm sorry they're going through this.
- [41:07]
A
Yeah. This is tough.
- [41:08]
B
Let me give you a little hug. I'm sorry.
- [41:11]
A
I think the part about her job doesn't necessarily, like, in the master's degree and the not working, to me is sort of like a side thing. She's.
- [41:20]
B
She's giving us a timeline of events where things were good and now they're bad.
- [41:23]
A
Right.
- [41:24]
B
I think that's like. She's looking for answers.
- [41:26]
A
Yeah.
- [41:26]
B
And she's looking everywhere. Except he's like. I think her main question probably is, why be with me if you're not sexually, like, attracted to me? Like, question. I. I don't know. Like, I. Because all the facts here. Anyone could hear this and go.
- [41:46]
A
I don't think. I don't think that's the. Necessarily the case, though. Because let's say she thinks he's bi. Doesn't mean he's not attracted to her.
- [41:53]
B
But she even says he sends sexual messages and photos of strangers while, like, the. When she compares. I've only got two dick pics.
- [42:01]
A
Right.
- [42:02]
B
And he sent sexual messages to other strangers. Like, she's, like, so consumed. It seems from my end of trying to figure this out that she's like. It's like trying to figure out why is this house on fire while the house is imploding on top.
- [42:20]
A
Just leave.
- [42:21]
B
Just leave. Like you're never going to get an.
- [42:23]
A
It's never as simple as that.
- [42:24]
B
But of course, never as simple as that. But I think part of what's making it so difficult for her to leave is she wants to crack the case. Like, she's like. Because. Ego. But, like, the sexuality thing. If we get.
- [42:40]
A
Yeah, forget it. Let's say you took that out of it and it was just apps. It was heterosexual. Right. Thing. He was doing the same thing in a heterosexual way.
- [42:48]
B
And. But then what people end up doing in that situation. They go, why would they want to stay with me? And beyond the apps and say that it's about boredom. Like, she wants answers more than she wants to be happy. That's like, I, I don't think she's gonna get closure or answers. Like, you know, if, if, if we think of, like, sexuality, is this, like, really unexplainable thing? As, as the Gen Zs are telling us, it's on a spectrum.
- [43:21]
A
Can't put anyone in a box.
- [43:22]
B
Can't put anyone in a box. And fine. And everyone is sexually just set at whatever they are. Special snowflake. But it's different for everybody. She's never gonna get the only answer. She's trying to figure out what's going on in his head while she's not. Doesn't care about her own feelings.
- [43:43]
A
Right? Yeah, it doesn't even. What, what he's doing is almost beside the point, right? In that way.
- [43:49]
B
But that's, but that's what she's so hung up on. It seems like the whole email is, like, about his sexuality.
- [43:54]
A
Right?
- [43:55]
B
But then the one time she gets into how she feels.
- [43:57]
A
Cheating on her.
- [43:57]
B
Right? Cheating. But, but then when it gets to how she feels, I only got two dick pics. Like, I, I, I get that. Like, that is weird, right? And why. But it doesn't matter. Like, you know, he's got his own, he's going on that, like, he doesn't need. They don't need couples therapy. He needs his own therapy.
- [44:18]
A
Oh, definitely. I mean, you know, like, yeah, if he's not getting that already, I think that's number one.
- [44:24]
B
Right. This isn't, like, a we thing to figure out.
- [44:26]
A
Right.
- [44:27]
B
Like, so I, I, all this is. I don't know. Like, do you.
- [44:32]
A
Yeah, I understand, I understand why she's not like, let me just, like, get out of here. Because I think there's a sense of, like, she says they're in their mid-30s. I think a lot of. They've been together 11 years.
- [44:44]
B
11 years.
- [44:44]
A
She's married. Almost three.
- [44:45]
B
She's afraid.
- [44:46]
A
I, Yeah, I think there's this sense of, I put so much time and effort into this relationship.
- [44:52]
B
Right.
- [44:52]
A
And if there's a chance it could be salvaged, like, if there's a chance that there's, like, an explanation for this, then I don't want to start over. I think there's, like, a, a lot of, like, fear for a lot of women in doing that to where they're like, I can make, you know, if we can make this, I think. And men are very different in that way. I think the way they think about things.
- [45:14]
B
Right.
- [45:15]
A
And I think in her mind, she's like, it's going to take a lot of effort and a lot of work to like, start over. Is it going to take more effort and more work to make this work or to start over?
- [45:27]
B
Right.
- [45:28]
A
And I think, I mean, like, she has to be divorced. Like, she has to, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's a whole.
- [45:34]
B
From a social.
- [45:34]
A
It's a lot of paperwork.
- [45:36]
B
A lot of paperwork. A lot of like, money has to change. All this stuff sucks.
- [45:40]
A
And our part of her identity probably too. You've been with someone 11 years.
- [45:43]
B
Well, also her identity, if you think of like, what's embarrassing, like, as far as a brand is concerned, like, societally and like, this is where I feel really this might be. I think this is the really one of the more difficult parts, especially for her. She's woman who didn't see that her husband was gay.
- [46:04]
A
Right.
- [46:04]
B
Or didn't.
- [46:05]
A
That's another layer to it.
- [46:06]
B
Right. Like, and he's man who finally gets to live the way he's been hiding. Like, he almost gets this heroic, but he still doesn't.
- [46:15]
A
He's not even the fact. Also, like, the way he's describing all of these things to me is another reason I would leave is because he just keeps. It sounds like he's almost like digging deeper into the lie instead of coming clean. Right. The fact that he's saying, like, I'm not bi. I'm not. Like, that's not who. That's not in. That's not who I. He just kind of keeps denying it and it doesn't make any sense. So I understand why she's like, how can I figure this out? Like, the way to figure it out is to just know that he's like, lying to you. Like, I don't think that he's like, there's clearly something he's not telling you about his sexuality.
- [46:45]
B
But she's also probably thinking, I'm a. I have a master's degree. Like, like, like this is the thing about love is like, it doesn't make sense how stupid we seem.
- [46:55]
A
Right.
- [46:56]
B
Like, she. And I'm not calling her stupid. I hope that doesn't.
- [46:58]
A
No. I think when people get cheated on, there's a sense of like, how could I have been so, like, naive.
- [47:04]
B
Right. She's going 11 years. She's. She's. All the facts she's saying are reasons for her to not do anything. Yeah. Like, 11 years was one person I saw them a certain way. How could I be the one? Like, I think so many people in these relationships scenarios, we read it. I think we read this, we're detached from it. We're detached and we're like, end this. Any life is better than just break up right now. Just bring it like, any life where. With like. But then you don't trust the person, right? But then, you know, she's got, like, all her time is spent on this. Like. Like. Like she's spending all this time, like, trying to figure this thing out. Like, she's almost afraid of the quiet that will come with, like, getting away from this.
- [47:51]
A
I think she's afraid of, like, the work that comes from getting away with this and, like, the comfort. Like, there is a. I mean, yeah, it's obvious this is a very uncomfortable situation, but, like, the situ. But it's also comfortable in that she's been doing it for this whole time.
- [48:05]
B
She knows it's the devil, you know, versus the one.
- [48:09]
A
And it's scary. And she's like, what if I never
- [48:11]
B
meet anyone having sex with other men?
- [48:13]
A
Well, she's like, what if I never meet anyone ever after this? What if I.
- [48:17]
B
Well, let's play that out.
- [48:18]
A
Yeah.
- [48:19]
B
Would. Would being alone be worse than being with someone who is fun to watch a movie with? But you think you might being lied to by.
- [48:28]
A
It depends who you ask, Right?
- [48:30]
B
I. I think she has to go through that.
- [48:32]
A
Yeah.
- [48:32]
B
I. Maybe that's like. I. I'm more thinking, like, what are the strategies she can do to break, like.
- [48:39]
A
Right.
- [48:39]
B
See it from another angle.
- [48:40]
A
Could you ever trust this person again? Is the other part of it, let's say, like, it all made sense. There was a reason for it, whatever it was. Like, he's. He is bi, whatever it is. Like, would that change the amount that you could trust him? Would that change, like.
- [48:56]
B
No, I don't.
- [48:57]
A
I don't. I don't think so. I don't think she could ever trust
- [48:59]
B
him again, honestly, because he keeps.
- [49:01]
A
Because it's not even like, he came clean really.
- [49:03]
B
Right. If he had come to her and been like, listen, I'm dealing with some sexual stuff. I want to work this with you. Yeah, these thoughts just keep coming up, and I don't want to, like, be put in a position. I don't want to, like, lie to you.
- [49:14]
A
I want everything to be out in the open so that we can, like, work through it. So that we can work through it.
- [49:18]
B
But most people don't do that. Most people, they lie. That's why it doesn't work and then feel bad.
- [49:23]
A
Right.
- [49:23]
B
And then they try to fix it or cover it up so they lie more.
- [49:27]
A
Right.
- [49:28]
B
And there's so much that's annoying about this. It's the work. It's the work to get out of the relationship. It's the work that comes with being single after 11 years, not being single. It's the. The headlines, quote with friends.
- [49:44]
A
The embarrassment.
- [49:45]
B
The embarrassment, yeah. It's the, like. There's so much.
- [49:50]
A
I can see why she's like, either way, this doesn't sound great to me, but.
- [49:54]
B
Right. But she's writing to us, so she is hopeful to have a better life. Like, writing this is like, she wants better.
- [50:02]
A
I think in the immediacy. If she leaves, her life will be worse, but it will be much better in a year and a half.
- [50:10]
B
Yeah.
- [50:11]
A
Like, it'll be much better. And actually it might be. I think it actually will be worse than the situation she's in right now. Right now.
- [50:18]
B
Right.
- [50:18]
A
Yeah.
- [50:19]
B
I think any change is like, that.
- [50:20]
A
It's like, jarring and hard to process and you have to, like, get used to it and change the way you think about things. But you will be happier.
- [50:26]
B
Right?
- [50:26]
A
But not. Right.
- [50:27]
B
That's why people don't change.
- [50:29]
A
Because it's harder in the short term.
- [50:30]
B
Right.
- [50:30]
A
Yeah.
- [50:31]
B
Short term difficulty is like, oh, my God, look at how it's paying off. Look at. I'm so happy I made those decisions. Like, Right. You know, like, I could think about that with like a billion things might, like, couldn't you think of, like, how many days where you were working on batches.
- [50:46]
A
Yeah.
- [50:47]
B
Where you wanted to be like this.
- [50:49]
A
Right. Just get a real job.
- [50:51]
B
Just do. Let me just go to an office and have health insurance.
- [50:54]
A
Yeah. And then many times.
- [50:56]
B
Right. And then there's a day where you're swimming in your pool and you're going, can you believe this happened because of. Yeah, I'm sure you have.
- [51:06]
A
I know. I'm saying. Yeah, there's. There are, like. That's what I'm saying. It takes discomfort to get to, like,
- [51:11]
B
comfort only comes from discomfort.
- [51:12]
A
Right. Or greatness. You have to. What do you say? You say this all the time. You have to give up good. To get great. You have to give up pretty shitty to get to.
- [51:19]
B
To get to, like, not as shitty.
- [51:21]
A
Yeah.
- [51:23]
B
Sorry. I just think, like, again, it's be.
- [51:26]
A
I understand why she doesn't want to do it. I understand why she doesn't.
- [51:29]
B
Because we just name four different horrific things that might be one thing. Someone has to Deal with, like, oh, my God, my boyfriend is. Is gay or bi. And in his is. And I didn't know that's one thing. Oh, my God. My husband is bi and I didn't know. Oh, my God. 11 years, right? Oh, my God.
- [51:52]
A
Not only he is, he's cheating.
- [51:54]
B
These are all, like, this could be one of these could be everyone's big thing, right? They have all of them.
- [52:00]
A
Yeah. I think if you read the email back to yourself, you'll know what you need to do.
- [52:05]
B
Listen. And no one wants to be counting how many dick pics they got from someone to feel valued, you know? Like, it's like.
- [52:14]
A
It's like you're counting the Halloween basket, right? You've got the most candy.
- [52:20]
B
Listen, it's gonna be okay.
- [52:22]
A
It's gonna be okay. We're here for you.
- [52:25]
B
Gonna be all right.
- [52:26]
A
Yeah. Just talk. Just talk to it. Just talk to a divorce lawyer. Just talk to them.
- [52:30]
B
Just give a chitchat.
- [52:32]
A
No, I think. I think some. Because I also get it where she's, like, the hurdle of, like, getting out of this thing probably feels really high. Right. And when I think you think of anything like that, like, when you think of your special, you don't think of the whole hour when you're starting it. You start with, like, one step, like, one thing that you think is funny. Right. So for this, I would say, like, just talk. Don't you have to do anything, like, leave today?
- [52:55]
B
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [52:56]
A
Talk to a divorce lawyer.
- [52:57]
B
Talk to one.
- [52:57]
A
I.
- [52:58]
B
And I will say I once dated a divorce lawyer, and she. I don't know if they have kids. She doesn't mention kids.
- [53:08]
A
I don't think so.
- [53:09]
C
Let's.
- [53:09]
B
Let's. Let's have a moment to thank God he didn't have kids.
- [53:11]
A
Yeah. Like, it's not too late that.
- [53:14]
B
Let's look at the positives. No kids. Based on this email, she used to call a divorce with no kids a fancy breakup.
- [53:21]
A
I agree with that.
- [53:22]
B
Yeah.
- [53:22]
A
And expensive breakup. Yeah.
- [53:24]
B
Right. So it's going to be expensive. Just because you go from not having to spend money to spending money. That's like paying a lawyer. Right. Like, automatically more expensive than doing nothing.
- [53:36]
A
Right.
- [53:37]
B
You know what's more expensive than $0? Everything. So you're gonna hate spending this money, but you'll feel better.
- [53:44]
A
Yeah, I think so. I agree. Just talk to a. Just talk to a lawyer. Take it one step at a time. All right, well, that's it.
- [53:50]
B
I think we solved dating.
- [53:51]
A
We did it.
- [53:52]
B
Listen, if you love this podcast, if you're here right now. Share with a friend. Tell a friend. Tell your friend with that whose husband said they're by now.
- [54:00]
A
Yeah.
- [54:01]
B
And come listen to this episode. Hear this, you know, shot of reality. So we will be back next week.
- [54:09]
A
Bye.
- [54:15]
B
Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying today.
- [54:23]
C
Well, I'm letting go of the worry
- [54:24]
A
that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class.
- [54:27]
C
I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh, my gosh. They're so fast.
- [54:31]
B
And breathe.
- [54:32]
A
Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw
- [54:35]
C
the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry.
- [54:38]
A
Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts contacts, batches.