He Matched With Me… And My Brother! A Dating App Nightmare

Summary

U Up? Podcast Summary

Episode: He Matched With Me… And My Brother! A Dating App Nightmare
Date: April 22, 2026
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the awkward, hilarious, and sometimes icky realities of modern dating. Jordana and Jared tackle listener emails on red flags, deal breakers, and the strange intersections of dating app matchups—including the titular nightmare of someone matching with both a listener and her brother. Amidst classic banter and hot takes, the hosts examine boundaries, dating etiquette, and the subtle dynamics that can make or break a romantic connection in the era of apps.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Weather and Aging (00:54–04:22)

• The hosts commiserate over New York’s weather swings and how travel gets tougher with age.
  • Jared describes aging as the inability to bounce back from early flights and gripes: “My back hurts, my hip—old man problems hit you after too many shows and flights.” (04:14)
  • Jordana agrees, sharing the struggle of trying to “book the first flight out” for vacation and needing a 2 PM nap to recover.

Travel, Accommodations, & Social Etiquette (04:22–07:36)

• Jared recounts running into a casual acquaintance/fan on a flight and the social dance of when it’s okay to put your headphones in.
• The pair joke about couples’ boundaries when traveling—who prefers space and who insists on staying together (06:03–06:18).
• Jared announces he’ll be staying with Jordana for the Fourth of July, cueing plans for summer recaps and pool parties.

Book Promo & Career Updates (07:36–10:00)

• Jared plugs his new book “Walking Red Flag,” aiming for bestseller status with playful bravado: “I bought myself a jersey already—JTrain on the front, NYT Bestseller on the back.” (09:21)
• The hosts riff on manifesting success and joke about the embarrassment if plans don’t come through.

“Icky or Picky” – Twin Bed Dilemma (12:29–27:03)

The Situation (13:49–15:00)

• Listener writes in: Her brother-in-law (mid-to-late 30s, veteran, soon-to-be doctor) sleeps in a twin bed. She says it’s an ick—mother-in-law disagrees, saying anyone who cares isn’t worth it.
• The group debates the “mid-to-late” age range phrase, calling it an avoidance tactic.

Debate & Insights (15:00–27:03)

• Jordana: “Even after college, I’d be like—need a full-size bed at least.” (19:17)
• Jared jokes a twin bed would make it easy not to “stay over” and ponders the limits of adult self-neglect.
• Both agree: a twin bed as an adult signals unpreparedness for a relationship—it’s more than “picky,” it’s a legitimate “ick.”
• Jared: “For a man especially, his life is not ready for—or set up for—a relationship. Literally the minimum thing you need is a bed for two people.” (24:34)
• Both roast the mother-in-law’s enabling defense. Jordana: “Honestly, his relationship with his mother is now an ick. She’s added the ick.” (26:56)

Living With Your Ex – Is It a Deal Breaker? (28:06–38:04)

The Scenario (28:06–32:38)

• Listener writes: She lives with her ex as roommates; wants to date again but worries if the situation is off-putting.

Host Insights (32:38–38:04)

• Jordana feels strongly: “As a woman, I wouldn’t go out with a man who was living with his ex looking for a relationship.” (33:05)
• Jared, for men: “Men will still go out with her and not be affected as to whether you could be in a serious relationship or not.” (33:24)
• Both agree the reasoning matters. If you can explain your situation with clear intentions, it can be palatable—though it’s still a “long time” to live with an ex.
• Jordana: “You can be turned off for any reason. But you have to own it—it’s not about being judgmental, it’s about honesty with yourself.” (36:17)

Red Flag or Deal Breaker – The ‘Matched With My Brother’ Story (39:43–47:19)

The Email (40:01–41:13)

• A listener discovers her date matched with her (gay) brother on a dating app, prompting a wild family group chat and lots of laughs.
• She wonders: red flag or deal breaker? “We love a bisexual king, but I just couldn’t risk a lifetime of sexual tension between my partner and my brother at Thanksgiving.” (41:07)

Reaction & Analysis (41:13–47:19)

• Both hosts see the humor and recognize underlying discomfort.
• Jared: “It’s a Modern Family episode!” (41:16) — with real-life awkwardness.
• Jordana: “A matched is sort of—we both are sexually attracted to each other. …It puts something out there that’s weird between siblings.” (43:15)
• Ultimately, both say it’d be a deal breaker—too weird, too much potential for “sexual tension at Thanksgiving.”
• They discuss broader issues of bisexuality and gender norms in dating, with Jared pointing out: “For the bi guy, it’s really not as easy on the apps as it is for bi women.” (42:50)

Additional Red Flags and Dating Scenarios

Overspending on a First Date (47:41–51:27)

• Listener describes an extravagant first date (over $400) at the guy’s suggestion.
• Both hosts: “Deal breaker.” Jared: “It’s rude to put someone in a position where they’re sitting there thinking—‘what do I owe this guy?’” (49:38)

The Speech Pathologist and the Lisp (51:56–56:40)

• Speech pathologist listener is icked by a date’s lisp, despite it being “fixable.”
• Jared goes on an epic rant: “Speech pathologists are liars!” (52:39) and accuses the emailer of lacking empathy or honesty—“If he checked all your boxes, you wouldn’t care about the lisp. So he doesn’t check all your boxes.” (55:01)
• Jordana adds, “You can be turned off for any reason. But you have to own it.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Jared on Twin Bed Excuses:
  “He should also probably get a new story. Talk about a more crying sentence—‘got it for free.’ From who? His mom?” (16:49)

• Jordana on Red Flags:
  “Literally the minimum thing you would need to be in a relationship is a bed that would fit two people in it.” (24:42)

• Jared on Living with an Ex:
  “Men will still go out with her and not be affected as to whether you could be in a serious relationship with them or not. …That will not even come into their thought process.” (33:24)

• Jordana on Sibling Match-Ups:
  “We love a bisexual king, but I just couldn’t risk a lifetime of sexual tension between my partner and my brother at Thanksgiving dinner table.” (41:07)

• Jared on Over-the-Top Dates:
  “Wherever you think it needs to be made up for—personality, looks—it feels like you’re showing me something or trying to buy my affection.” (50:54)

• Jared on Speech Pathologists:
  “That’s why speech pathologists are liars and that’s why we hate them.” (52:39)
  “If he checked all your boxes, you wouldn’t care about the lisp. So he doesn’t check all your boxes.” (55:01)

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Timestamps for Noteworthy Segments

• Weather/Aging/Travel Banter: 00:54–04:22
• The Twin Bed Dilemma: 13:49–27:03
• Living with Your Ex While Dating: 28:06–38:04
• He Matched With Me...and My Brother! 40:01–47:19
• First Date Overspender: 47:41–51:27
• Speech Pathologist & Lisp: 51:56–56:40

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Episode Tone and Style

The episode is fast-paced, unapologetically honest, and peppered with sharp humor. Jared’s brashness and Jordana’s dry wit keep the discussion relatable and grounded—even when tackling touchy or awkward dating subjects. The blend of playful roasting, self-aware tangents, and practical advice makes it ideal for listeners navigating the twists and turns of modern dating culture.

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Overall, this episode delivers an insightful, entertaining exploration of modern relationship quirks with the hosts’ hallmark blend of humor, candor, and empathy. If you’re looking for grounded advice mixed with real-life absurdity, this one’s a must-catch.

Transcript

[A]

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[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Flying in and doing this day of tough flights. Take me out now.

[A]

You're old.

[B]

What a way to find out.

[A]

Hello and welcome back to the UF podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be in studio with you, Jordana. How are you today?

[A]

I'm great. I'm sweaty. It couldn't be New York. It just couldn't go. It couldn't be like 72. It had to be. It had to go from 55 to 87.

[B]

I don't. You're right. You know, it just. Listen, I've been in a bad mood since I got here and I think it's because of the, the heat here.

[A]

So hot.

[B]

But. And it's worse than Florida. Like, I.

[A]

The city is, is very. It, like retains the heat. Yes.

[B]

It's muggy and it's like annoying. And you have all your stuff on your back. Like, I'm just saying, like when I. There are these subtle differences that go a long way. Florida, everywhere you go, AC blaring, going. You know, we're just crushing the ozone. Rightfully so.

[A]

The opposite of Europe.

[B]

The opposite. And you walk in, you. Everything's made. Built for heat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Manhattan seems to be built for nothing. It's horrible. It's annoying in the winter, it's annoying in the summer.

[A]

There's like, built for the fall.

[B]

There's 10 good weather days in New York City.

[A]

Yes. Well, we missed them. That's what I'm saying. It's 87 now.

[B]

80. Yeah. Gone. It's over. Because I got here. I was annoyed. I was waiting for the Uber at the airport. I was annoyed. I was like, I don't know. I was like, why am I in a bad mood immediately? Because it was hot and it was. And I'm like, But I am of the heat. I.

[A]

You're off the. You should be know. You should know how to handle this.

[B]

Right. At this point. I, I don't know. I, I immediate bad mood. I had an issue with the Uber. But it's great to be here. It's good to be. It's good to be with you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You flew in Flew in specifically to tape this one episode.

[A]

Sort of, kind of.

[B]

We had other things going on. So we're here. We're on YouTube. If you're watching. Hi, YouTube land back in studio.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

So I flew here today and I'm like, I'm feeling tired. Like I am feeling the. And I've. I've also traveled three weeks in a row, different states, like for. For.

[A]

I mean, yeah, you travel a lot, so.

[B]

But it's hitting me. But I think you said it's my age, that I'm an old man.

[A]

I. Not. Not just you. Okay. Well, I feel like we're all getting old. I feel like a real, A real sign of aging. And we're older than production, so maybe they haven't felt this in production. We'll have to ask them. Because I used to book like, like beach by noon, book the first flight out the like 6am flight, get to the. Get to the destination by like 9. Think you'll have like a full beach day now. I do that. Like, I tried doing that in the past year and you're just like, you have to wake up at like 4am yes. And I can't do that anymore.

[B]

It's very difficult.

[A]

Have like a real day.

[B]

It wears on you. You basically have to work in the 2pm Nap.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You can get to two. Like, I try to go as long as I can, but on a day where I do flight out. But it's tough. It's tough. I mean, I fly. The thing I've been doing lately is doing the night before. So I land.

[A]

That's a rich person thing.

[B]

That is a rich person thing.

[A]

I know, but it is, it is. You know, because I'm like. Because you look at. You look at the. You're like, I could. An extra whatever exor. Like the. It's going to be more. You have to pay for an extra night of the hotel.

[B]

Right? No, the cost to do the night before. The cost.

[A]

That's why you do first flight out. So you're like, oh, I'll get the whole day, but I won't pay for that night.

[B]

It is a cheap person's way to go.

[A]

That is my way to go.

[B]

Yeah, that is. That. That's our way. I was first flight.

[A]

I mean, listen, I don't think I can handle it anymore, though.

[B]

No, I. I'm with you. It. It. It becomes more difficult. I mean, for me, a lot of times it's. I have to do two shows that night. First flight out, 5am But I do. I. Yeah, I. It's it's all my back hurts, my hip.

[A]

Were you in economy?

[B]

I was in economy. I was in. I was in Comfy Plus. I got upgraded to Comfy Plus.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's like a guy I knew who knew me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Brutal.

[A]

He knew you.

[B]

Brutal. Absolutely he knew me. He goes, Jared. He did the. Oh, Jared. And I go, hey, he's a fan. No, we've done like some work together. And I didn't know him right away. He handled it great.

[A]

And he was sitting right next to you.

[B]

Right next to me. So we had to have like a 10 minute, and then you have that moment. You're like, earphone in.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Are we done now? You don't want to be.

[A]

You can't do it too soon.

[B]

No. So.

[A]

But someone's got to do it.

[B]

Someone had to do it. And I. And I literally, I. I had like a. Like, there was like a moment where I put the earphone up to my ear. Like, he's on this side. I like, went like this. And he was like. And another thing. I was like, oh, God, I got another 10 minutes here.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

Yeah, but he was very nice, I gotta say. Like, if he hears this, the. He was. He did a great job. Some people could be good at that. He was good at it. We had a little chit chat. Okay. Me on my phone. Yeah, you on your phone.

[A]

That's a person you might want to speak to again.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We passed the test. We, as a group, because some people are like, and New York, when are you going back again? You're like, oh, my God, we're. Now we're related.

[A]

That's so funny. I mean, Mike. Mike would. Mike says that about me with this. He's like, when we take the train together, we take the train together. He's like, I'll be like talking to him and then he'll be like, putting his. I'm like, hello.

[B]

He's like.

[A]

He would say, I'm not good at that. But only with him.

[B]

Well, you would think you'd be on the same page.

[A]

I just do the tap.

[B]

Hey, hey, hey, hey. What are you thinking about? You thinking about.

[A]

You want to hold hands, want to

[B]

hug the whole way to New York? You know, speaking of my.

[A]

He gets excited when there's no seats left and we have to sit separately.

[B]

I would be the same way. Like, see ya.

[A]

I'm like, no, we can ask this person. He's like, bye.

[B]

No, no, no, we're not gonna.

[A]

Not.

[B]

We're not separating a family. What is so we're come. I think I have to ask you, but I think I might come stay with you for the Fourth of July.

[A]

Yes. You're coming.

[B]

I think that's.

[A]

You're coming. Yes.

[B]

Okay. Because I think what we're gonna do. Emily and I are gonna come to you before the Fourth of July.

[A]

So excited.

[B]

And get that pool ready. That pool better be ready.

[A]

It's ready.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I know it's not ready, but it's gonna be ready soon.

[B]

We heard that last summer.

[A]

I'm praying it's gonna be ready.

[B]

So now I am, too. We're gonna go, you know, both gotta add our prayers together. Yeah. And then I'll do the show.

[A]

Excited.

[B]

I'm excited, too. I. I got a house to check out.

[A]

This is gonna be. We're gonna have a fun recap.

[B]

I cannot wait. So that'll be. So does Mike. Mike knows. I mean, he'll have to know by now. By airing.

[A]

Yes, he will. He. Okay. He'll be excited.

[B]

No, we're all. I'm gonna.

[A]

You guys are really. You guys. Like, not many people have seen the before and the after, so we've seen it all. You both were there last time, and now you're gonna both.

[B]

When we dated, we both came to the house and then we ended. And she was the only one who ever saw the house, basically. Yeah. So are we going to do an episode today? Let's do it. Let's jump right in.

[A]

Jump right in.

[B]

We should jump right in. I'm on the road. If you're listening right now. I'm going to be in. Oh, I'm in Connecticut this weekend. I am in the. I'm in. I'm back. I'm back in Connecticut. I'm in Norwalk, Connecticut. And then I'm. I've added some dates.

[A]

Let's hear them.

[B]

Vegas, Los Angeles. I need people to start buying those Los Angeles tickets I always get. Come to lasa. You never go. I'm coming. Jacksonville, Austin, Cleveland. The land. I'm coming to Cleveland. West Hampton Beach. That's the weekend we're talking about. Miami, Miami, Fox, Long Beach. That Long beach is happening. But that's kind of.

[A]

I'm the only.

[B]

A little bit.

[A]

Me and Mike's parents are the only ones talking about it.

[B]

Right. No one else. I. I gotta. Long beach is happening, too. If you're in Long Beach, I'll be there, too. But we need the Hamptons.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I don't know. Maybe the Long beach people in the Hamptons. People don't really mix.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. I think you get two separate crowds, two different markets.

[B]

Foxwoods in Portland, Maine. So I'm coming. The book Walking Red Flag. I need that New York Times bestseller.

[A]

I think he'll get it.

[B]

From your mouth to the Lord above's ears. We need. I need it.

[A]

How many cameos have you done?

[B]

So many. I've done about 50.

[A]

That's a lot.

[B]

Is that a lot?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Pre order. I did the audiobook. You can pre order the camera. You can pre order the audiobook. You can pre order the hardcover copy. Take your copy. I got Jordana's copyright.

[A]

I got a free copy and I still pre ordered. That's how good. I know it's good.

[B]

We need that New York Times bestseller. I bought myself a jersey already. Yeah, on the front it says J Train. On the back it says NYT bestseller.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I've already gotten ahead.

[A]

You are manifesting this.

[B]

I am praying to all the woo woo gods.

[A]

This is gonna be so embarrassing if you don't get it. You have that shirt.

[B]

I'm gonna have to switch the back.

[A]

You are the bride. You are the. You are the girlfriend who's booked her wedding venue before she's gotten engaged.

[B]

That's right. I. Listen, I'm speaking it into an existence. Honestly. If it doesn't get it, then it's pretty. Pretty funny. Anyway. I'd have to explain it every time. Honestly, who's to say I'm not at that point, you know?

[A]

Right.

[B]

We live in a.

[A]

No one's going to check.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Right. Call yourself a doctor. Who cares?

[B]

I'm Dr.

[A]

Freed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's this thing that happens when your foundation pieces are actually good.

[B]

You.

[A]

You just move differently. You're not adjusting, not uncomfortable, not thinking about it at all. That's how I feel with skims. The fabric, the fit, all of it. It's the kind of thing you don't fully appreciate until you try it. I love skims. I've been trying their new underwear collection and it is so, so, so comfortable. And for me, having comfortable underwear is like the number one thing because you're in it all day. And if you're like, adjusting at it or if it's kind of like pulling at you and it really just ruins your ability to focus on anything else you're doing. So to me, doing well at work, weirdly, strangely tied back to how comfortable my underwear is. And skims has the best, softest, and most utilitarian underwear. It's like, great. They have kinds for every different shape and they're all serving a specific purpose and no matter what they're doing, you're looking good in them. But you're also really, really comfortable, which is a super hard combination. I also have their cotton bras which are so, so so comfy. I also love knowing where everything is and their bras are perfect for that. They make me feel like I can go about my day and not have to think about my underwear and bras, which is honestly the whole point. Shop everyday cotton and all my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and make sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows.

[B]

This episode is sponsored by Instacart. If you actually care about what ends up on your table, grocery shopping can become a whole thing and finding the time to do it right is its own challenge. With Instacart, you don't have to compromise on quality for convenience. You can be specific about what you want, communicate directly with your shopper, and get groceries selected with the same care you take yourself. I love what Instacart is doing. I love that you can free up your day by taking one of your chores and making it so you have an assistant. You have someone to go to the grocery store for. You find the things you love and I think the most important part direct communication. Truly, the convenience cannot be beat. With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite stores and have qual groceries and household essentials carefully selected and ready for pickup or delivered to your door in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart helps take care of delivering the things you need with quality you deserve so that you're free to take care of life. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like. What are we talking about today?

[A]

All right, we are doing a Nicky or Picky.

[B]

Let's get into it and we want you to sign up for benefits. Benefits. We're doing two extra episodes a month. We get personal. We just did an interview with my parents. The the My mom's call went so well that we did an interview with my parents. You can hear my parents answering questions.

[A]

About the relationship.

[B]

Yes, about relationships.

[A]

I have follow ups. We're gonna do another one.

[B]

We have. We had so much fun with it that it's going to be two episodes. So sign up for benefits also gets you ad free episodes and a day early. What are we talking about?

[A]

All right, we're gonna do an icky or picky I'll read it.

[B]

Icky or picky? You're dating someone, you get the ick. Are you being picky or is it a good enough ick? Yes, I am gassy. I keep. When I come in here, I breathe. I have to give myself a little bit of empathy. When you do. Does this happen? I take such big breaths and I. I perform on this show so much that you're like burpees. Burpee.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. When you start, I get burpee. Gonna eat too fast.

[B]

Eat too fast.

[A]

Yeah, that. You gotta. That. That causes a lot of burping.

[B]

That's interesting. That's tougher than what I'm. I don't know. What would you rather do?

[A]

I'm burp you. I have a lot of experience burping in the past few weeks.

[B]

We'll save that when I come stay at the house.

[A]

One of the more. Yeah, I'll burp the three of you.

[B]

Yeah, burp us all.

[A]

Yes. Emily. If she wants to be burped.

[B]

Put Emily down for a burping as well. She'd like one. I think she'd like one.

[A]

Let's do it. All right. Dear J and J. Feather. Feather. I have an icky or picky for you. Based on a disagreement with my mother in law. For context, my brother.

[B]

True.

[A]

Yes. It's coming out for context. My brother in law is in his mid to late 30s. I hate when people do that. Just call him 37.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Just call him 37. It's either 37 or 38.

[B]

Right. What else could it be?

[A]

That's it.

[B]

Mid to late. Mid to late. I mean, in what context is that even usable?

[A]

That means 35 to fees between 35

[B]

when you use mids. I've heard mid to late my whole life. But like, was it just invented by

[A]

an who didn't want to just say. But if you're going to say mid to late, just say the year.

[B]

Right. Why would we ever use mid to late? Is is my question, is there ever a scenario where we're saying mid to late 40s, mid to late day? Like, why not just say it?

[A]

It's like you're trying to say a range for someone you would date. But like, it's such a small range.

[B]

Mid to late one. Yeah, I'm trying to think, is there. Is there ever a race?

[A]

39, his late 30s. Right?

[B]

Right. Mid to late. But mid to late 35 to 39. Why not just say why are we

[A]

adding the 39 is late? I think it's 37 and 38. 36 is mid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I would say I'm in my mid-30s. I'm 36 years old.

[B]

But next year seems to be what people who are.

[A]

I'll be 37. Not mid to late.

[B]

Right. But that's. But you would say mid to late so that you could be. Make people assume you're mid versus late. Do you know what I mean? It feels like. It feels like a trick.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because you're like, oh, I'm mid to late 30s. Or they're mid to late 30s. And it's. It seems like what someone would say about someone who's older, that they're trying to set up with a friend to not tell them how old they are.

[A]

I agree. I would say you're in your early 40s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that how you would describe your age?

[B]

I would say I'm 41.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But if I had to die, I wouldn't want that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I guess someone go, oh, they're 41. I thought you said they're in their 40s. Like that sounds so different.

[A]

41 and 49 feels very different.

[B]

49. If I am still running around with my head cut off at 49, like I am now saying, this will be

[A]

in your 40s, I don't think is a good description.

[B]

Right. 41, early 40s. God, now I'm sweating. It's now gotten hot. Hotter.

[A]

Well, thank you for writing in.

[B]

I'm already 49.

[A]

He used to be in the military, but he got out to go to med school. Nice. Between the military and med school, he moved around a lot and never stayed in one place long term. He will be starting his residency soon, meaning he will be living in one location for the next three years. Now that he's going to be more settled in earning an income again, he would like to have a girlfriend.

[B]

Okay, here's my, like, the way. Well, this I'd like a girlfriend I'd like. Now I'm ready.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Here's the thing. He still sleeps in a twin bed. He says it's because it's easier to move and he got it for free. I said he should probably get a grown up bed because it would be an ick for women.

[B]

He should also probably get a new story. That story. Talk about a more crying sentence.

[A]

Got it for free. From who? His mom.

[B]

Right. Who's giving him beds.

[A]

Yeah. What is he, a podcaster?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Remember that era I was. He had a free mattress every week.

[B]

I was handing out beds like they were nothing. I was just like, you need a Bed.

[A]

Anyone need a queen size a mattress?

[B]

I think I was dating someone where I gave like their family a bed. It's a golden age of podcast, right?

[A]

Everyone got a, here's the thing, we got a bed cast.

[B]

Everyone got a Casper this podcast. I think we're lucky for our, our growth. Never felt like we exploded on the scene. Lucky, lucky us, you know, like, but it, it never felt like we had that, like, like there's got to be a podcast out there that like went up and was like getting all these mattresses and then they had nothing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, you know, all they had to

[A]

show for it was, you know, 12 varying direct to consumer mattresses.

[B]

And listen, I stand by everything I said. They're all great ads. They were great.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

There was not one mattress that I was like, that I sat on that was like, who would want that? No, you need a good mattress.

[A]

Good mattress.

[B]

So. All right, well, me defending past me,

[A]

anyway, I don't know how this guy, but I don't know how this guy got a free twin bed other than

[B]

that he says it's because it's easier to move and he got it for free. That might be birth control of a certain kind to some women.

[A]

Not a good, not a good way

[B]

to got it for free.

[A]

Yeah. So she, I said he should probably get a grown up bed because it would be an ick for women. My mother in law disagrees and says anyone who judges him based on his twin bed isn't worth the second date. So icky or picky? A man in his 30s with a job still sleeps in a twin bed. Sincerely, an icked sister in law.

[B]

You know, this is like, this is almost like sitcom level. Classic mother in law.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Speak. Anything my boy does is great.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if they're, and if they don't like it, they can go hit.

[A]

They're not good enough for him.

[B]

Yeah. Right.

[A]

This is like water boy.

[B]

Right? This is water boy. This is the retelling. Yeah.

[A]

This is Kathy Bates.

[B]

This is Kathy. Totally. I, I, I think, you know, it's funny, like I see this icky or picky. If you went, if you got brought home by a man, would you and you saw a twin bed?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, I would be the immediate ick out or what?

[A]

Yes. What level of, I think even after college I would be like need a, need a full size bed at least.

[B]

What if you ask, why do you have a twin? Would you do that or would, Well,

[A]

I would say it'd be, it'd be a good way to make Sure. I didn't sleep with him. I'm not going to sleep with you and then not and then be on your twin bed with you.

[B]

Yeah, that's, well, it's a good way to get a girl not to have to stay over.

[A]

I mean, if she, if she's okay with the, I don't know, I wouldn't, I don't think I would have sex with someone on a twin bed.

[B]

Listen, I don't blame you for that. I, I don't, you're like, I would have sex with a woman if I got brought home to a woman's place. You had a twin bed. I would say it's the best of all worlds.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Fuck. And then I go, hey, I'll get out of here. There's room for one.

[A]

What if it was a inflatable twin bed?

[B]

Weed. And then I would say, and then I would say, hey, can you turn around while I try to get myself off of this bed that's on the floor because it's going to take me three. Huh?

[A]

Yeah. Speaking of things aren't an older man thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I would, I mean,

[B]

I don't think you wouldn't even give him the chance of an explanation.

[A]

Yeah, I would ask, I would be

[B]

like, because I think this is, I would ask.

[A]

You would ask if that was his explanation. What he told the sister that I got it for free and it's easier to move. No.

[B]

And my mommy said, anyone who doesn't like my twin bed isn't good enough for me. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, that's someone who's too enmeshed with their mom.

[B]

Well, yeah, I, I, it is funny that, like, would you, if you had

[A]

a twin bed, do you think your mom would, would say something to you? Like, my mom would get a bigger bed.

[B]

She would say, she's yelling about my bed. Now I have a king size bed.

[A]

What does she want you to get? So a California king. She.

[B]

I have a bed that, so the house I have came fully furnished, right. I walked in, they gave me all the furniture and it's like brand new furniture. And the one thing that's like broken, the beds, the slats underneath the bed are like there's something wrong with them.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So the bed kind of slopes down, but I sleep on it and I'm fine and it's been okay, but it makes a good amount of noise when you move around on it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And, but it's a pain in the ass because now I have to coordinate a new I'm sure these places do it. Furniture places do it.

[A]

Take the old bed out.

[B]

I gotta get the new one to match.

[A]

You want to get a nice one.

[B]

Right. And everything that you just said stops me from doing it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But now it's another thing my mom has on our list that, like, my mom runs.

[A]

How does she even know that?

[B]

Because she's walked in and said, what's wrong with the bed?

[A]

Oh, she sees that.

[B]

She saw it. She, like sat on it and went like, you can hear it.

[A]

Okay. And.

[B]

But my mom loves a pop quiz. So, like, if I go to dinner, she'll be like, when's the. Where's the plumber? Did you get your cardiologist? What about the bed? So she's like, added it to the list.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Of things that I fail.

[A]

You need to do that.

[B]

I have to do that. I. And I say to her, I go, I'm a traveling clown who has to, who has to go on the road. I have a lot. I go, the one thing about moving closer to my parents is they have forgotten that I have a job.

[A]

Okay? They, they in no way not working when you're there. So I could see why that would happen.

[B]

Right? It's not like they can see.

[A]

It's not like you're go, you're getting up early to go to work the next day.

[B]

No, I'm not going into an office by those terms. But I work. I have things that have to get done. Like, hey, what? You know, they'll call me 12 times to get the worst decision I ever made. And I'm telling this to people. Do not teach your parents how to get through the do not disturb.

[A]

Oh, which is by calling multiple times

[B]

just to keep calling.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Don't tell them you have do not disturb. Don't. Don't even bring it up to them. It is the worst mistake. Because my parents now I need, whenever I need the do not disturb, they're calling through it.

[A]

Right? Yeah, that's tough.

[B]

So on the. Add this to the list of complaints I have about moving to Florida. But I, I mean, it's.

[A]

I.

[B]

That seems pretty low, pretty low on the list. But I. But my mom has seen my bed. And so she would say, if you

[A]

had a twin bed.

[B]

If I had a twin bed, she'd be like, what are you doing with a twin bed? Who would ever. She would say, she would actually say. She'd go, the reverse of this mother in law. My mom would go, who would ever want to be with someone with a twin bed? My mom loves a Question that is a judge.

[A]

I think that's preferable to a mom who's like making excuses.

[B]

Well, that's why I never bought all the feedback that I was like enmeshed with my mom. Like no one. Yeah. Hates me. No one is a bigger critic than my parents. They are the biggest critics I have.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So as far as this though, twin

[A]

bed, Would you date a woman seriously who had a twin bed? 30. At 37 or 38?

[B]

I. No, I guess I would use that. That would be a pretty good built in excuse for why we're just chilling. Well, if I, if I dated a woman with a twin bed and her explanation was that it's easier to move and I got it for free, I would assume they're not really taking their pursuit of a boyfriend very seriously.

[A]

Right. So that's kind of like same for a man.

[B]

Right. For a man especially, his life is

[A]

not ready for set up for a relationship. Literally the minimum thing you would need to be in a relationship is have a bed that would fit two people in it.

[B]

Absolutely. Right. And. Well, here's where I'll let him off the hook. First of all, tell your brother in law, thank you for his service. He's a, he's a, he's a veteran.

[A]

Yeah. And a doctor.

[B]

And a doctor. Like this guy's a total catch. So like will women look over the fact that he has a twin bed? Yes. Like, let's just be honest.

[A]

Well, if he was like, I'm actually like, I, I think the excuse of I've been moving a lot and I've just had this bed and then I've never. But I'm now gonna, now that I'm living somewhere for three years, I'm gonna get a different bed. That would be okay.

[B]

Right. That's what I'm. We're on the same page. I just think like the way this woman, the way the mother in law is looking at it is actually like way off. Like he's missing out on women he would aspire to be with.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, like only to get women who see him as a box to check. You know, he's actually like shrinking his own pool, you know, like so this is an ick. But he could explain it so much better than he's doing. Even not sexy. Right. I think he could have a twin bed and also say, you know, I just got settled in this apartment and someone gave me the bed and you know, being in the army, you know, you want to be, you know, we, we depend on logistics a lot and you know, for now, this is good logistical. I don't know. He would use words.

[A]

You want to be able to move.

[B]

Yeah, I want to be able to move and on the go. So like that, like operations.

[A]

But you have to acknowledge that it's weird.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

If I saw someone with a twin bed and they didn't immediately say, yeah, it's crazy that I have a twin bed.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Here's why I have it, here's why I'm not going to have it soon.

[B]

Right. And if I'm the sister in law, how many years would you need to stay somewhere to have a regular adult sized bed? Because he's like three years. Three years seems like enough time to get a bed.

[A]

I think. One year, right?

[B]

One year. I'm with you.

[A]

But twin bed is for your dorm at college.

[B]

Right. Listen. Or you're in a barrack.

[A]

Yeah. You know, so it's like the equivalent in that situation.

[B]

Yeah. It's an ick.

[A]

Icky.

[B]

Especially considering how he's explaining it.

[A]

And honestly, his relationship with his mother is now an ick. Also, she's added the ick by having that opinion.

[B]

Right.

[A]

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[B]

Focus features in Blumhouse Obsession. When I have a crush on a

[A]

guy no one knows.

[B]

Be careful. I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world. Who you wish for. Obsession is 96% fresh on rotten Tomatoes.

[A]

I love you so, so, so, so much.

[B]

It's blood soaked.

[A]

Put on her.

[B]

You have been warned. Obsession. Rated R under 17, animated without parent only theaters May 15 with special engagements in Dolby. All right, let's do an email. You ready?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jay and Jay love the podcast. Have been listening for a few years now. I started listening while I was in a relationship and now I'm single again. Welcome back, honey. We're here to help. Here's your vibrator.

[A]

Handed him out.

[B]

So what if that was the way you came back to the podcast? I guess you're back listening again.

[A]

So we end out right, Right in right. We're running a sweepstake.

[B]

We need. But now I have a question for you guys that I haven't heard you Talk about. So I thought I'd throw it out there. My ex and I broke up last summer in August. He wasn't abusive or a bad person, but we just weren't right for each other. And he definitely had some growing up to do. The romance was just gone when we broke up. I didn't mind that he stayed for a while as a roommate because there wasn't really bad blood. And to be honest, I needed help with the rent. I also know he needed the place. It is almost a year later, and he is still living with me in his own room. We get along fine, and I'm not in a hurry to kick him out. He is tenant. He is tentatively. He is tentative. So you didn't do the audiobook, did you?

[A]

I didn't know.

[B]

This is the. This is what I would do with the audiobook.

[A]

You say it over.

[B]

I would. I would. It would take. There was some words that I would like 15 times. And it was surprised they couldn't just

[A]

get AI to, like, well, capture your voice.

[B]

And then we already have a talk about how much this scares the.

[A]

Yeah, it scares you. But, like, if it would save you, like, 100 hours, would you be willing to do it?

[B]

You know, I. Let's put a pin in this for two seconds. I did a voiceover for a show that's. I think it's still on.

[A]

Wasn't that your dream?

[B]

My dream was for that show. My dream is to be a cartoon in a movie. This was for Love Undercover, which was like, Love Undercover. Love Undercover. Love Undercover. Love under. So when I came in to initially do the voice, it was the best job I've ever had. They were complimentary. It was fun. It was easy. It paid good money.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So when I did this, they were like, we've already done your part with aiu. And they're like. And I was like, what? And they're like, we have it done. They played AI Me for me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And this was, like, two years ago, and it was really good.

[A]

So you didn't even have to do anything. They're, like, licensing your voice.

[B]

I wasn't gonna say that. I was like, well, let's make sure I get paid.

[A]

Right?

[B]

You know, like, they're paying to license your voice. You would hope.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you don't know. You know, in Turkey, they could be, you know, Jordan.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's enough of you out there. They could have Jordana Abraham as our spokeswoman.

[A]

Yeah. They wouldn't even know. Totally. It could be selling some weird.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Twin beds.

[B]

Right. Jordana you said twin beds are an ick, but here's you selling Turkish twin beds.

[A]

There you go. Yeah. No, but again, like, I'm. I do feel like that would save you a lot of time.

[B]

No, I, I.

[A]

You don't want it. You want the real deal.

[B]

I did not do Walking Red Flag with AI.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, so people know. Buy it.

[A]

No Ghost reader.

[B]

No, I. Well, I did act outs. There were parts where I, like, did the voice of a mom, and I'd be like, honey, you need to. Yeah, I would do one man show. Yeah, I really did all I did. Old, old people. Hello, young man. You're not married. Like, I have, like, different voices I do throughout the whole thing.

[A]

You're like Robin Williams and Mrs. Doubtfire.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

I do voices.

[B]

That's me. All right, ready? It is almost a year later. He's living with me in his own room. We fight, we get along fine, and I'm not in a hurry to kick him out. He's. He is tentatively planning to move out in the summer. Before you say something like, I don't think she's over this guy, I want to add a couple extra details. Okay. Stopped us in our tracks. I'm 37, and I could kick him out, but I do not want to have another roommate ever again. I want my own place. So he. Once he's gone, I have no plans to rent the extra room out, but until I finish school, I'm not really in a financial position to do that. So I could either wait about six months and have my own place, or kick him out now and deal with the difficulty of finding another roommate. My question is, is it out of the question for put myself out there and start dating again while living with my ex? If you met someone on a dating app and they told you they were living with an ex, would it be a deal breaker? Should I just wait until he's gone and this whole situation has wrapped up? P.S. you may be wondering why he hasn't moved out. And while I can't say 100% that he has no feelings for me, I think he's mostly just too lazy to leave and would end up living in his car. No joke. So please don't ask why I dated him unless you're prepared to invite me on the podcast. Sincerely, you conveniently cohabitate. Cohabitating.

[A]

I would love to get into that on a. On an episode.

[B]

I wonder why they fell out of love. He's willing to just live in his car and has no drive. It has no.

[A]

Well, that she Wants to tell us why they dated in the first place.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yes. Okay.

[B]

I don't know. He said a lot of nice things and they ended up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Getting comfortable in a loveless relationship. I. Yeah.

[A]

I think as a woman, this is like a slightly different conversation. I think for a heterosexual woman and a heterosexual man.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

I think men will still go out with her if she's living with her ex, but I wouldn't go out with a man who was living with his ex girlfriend looking for. For a relationship.

[B]

Let me add on to this. Men will still go out with her and not be affected as to whether you could be in a serious relationship with them or not.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That will not even come into their thought process. So she's good. And it sounds like she's made up her mind before writing the email. I mean, she's saying, why? Before you ask this, before you ask that, it sounds like she wants this apartment for when she graduates and she's just going to have to stick it out until that happens.

[A]

And I think the reasoning does make sense. To me.

[B]

The reasoning is all that matters when you have something that's peculiar or different in the terms of societal, society's judgment.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

The reasoning here. We dated. It didn't work out. I think her, I think her, her biggest problem is way she describes the relationship.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, to her, I think she has to get used to telling her own story and how she sounds when you say, my ex and I broke up last summer in August. He wasn't abusive or a bad person. Why is that the first. Yeah, like you can break up with. I didn't think that when I thought you broke up.

[A]

Well, that that's what women sort of like sometimes need to feel like they can leave someone who's willing to commit and great in a number of ways. Like, I think me, women have to do a lot more convincing to leave something okay. Than men do.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And like I said, like, women are always like, please change, please change, please change. They, like, want to keep the relationship going.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And men are kind of like secretly thinking about the fact that they think you're just okay for like a long time.

[B]

Right. And. And she even writes at the end like, that he's not 100% if you. And while I can't 100%, he has no feelings for me. So she has a guy living in her apartment who has some feelings for her still.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That she's actively turning down. And I'm sure for her, she's like, I want to go back out dating. And People. She's assuming people could go, but you got a good one at home. You got a guy who's willing to live in his car at home.

[A]

Right. Still wants to live with you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

And it's like, well, no, it seems like he's not really attractive to her anymore, and that's fine.

[A]

Would you date someone seriously, who is still living with their ex?

[B]

Yeah. Based on this story being told, if someone was living with their ex and they were like, they're going to move out in a year after that, I want my own place.

[A]

A year is a long time.

[B]

It's a long time already.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, they're moving on to it. They're almost at a year. Yeah, it's a long time.

[A]

I.

[B]

But I wouldn't.

[A]

I think if it was a year from when I met them, that would be too long. If it was like, the end of the year, they're moving out in the next.

[B]

I do think it's way different for a woman. I think the idea of, like, I think you wouldn't.

[A]

It wouldn't bother.

[B]

Like, wouldn't. It wouldn't bother me because it's like, okay, all this does. I'm. I'm not in a rush myself.

[A]

Right. You know, like, whereas me, I'd be like. I don't know if they're ready to be, like, moving on to a serious relationship.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's what I'm looking for. Because they still live with their ex. It just seems like they're still enmeshed with their ex. Literally in a while, living together even less than that.

[B]

Let's. Let's say if I was living with my ex, what rush am I in for anything? Yeah. Where does time play into my life? And I do think you gotta have. If you. I think this was. For me, this is also the case. You got to be aware of the time and space of the universe to, like, if someone's. If you're dating someone who has no thought on where they are on Earth at this present date, then they're not really thinking of that for anything.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So, like, Jared, you're 41. Oh, my God. 49 is different than 41. Yeah. I don't know. That's pretty wild. Like, that does. That's something that's on my mind. So I would think that me at 41 going, wow, 49. I would hope I was moved on with my life. That's a thought I'm having.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, if you go out with someone, they go, yeah, they'll move out. In a year. But I am looking for something serious. I would go, those two aren't really.

[A]

Right. They don't really work in the same sentence.

[B]

Right. So while I wouldn't count this as a deal breaker for a woman, like the way she explained it would be enough for me if I liked her enough.

[A]

Right. Yeah. I don't. I think it would be a big red flag for me.

[B]

But I also have dated women where I was like, okay, good. Also, they're going through some too.

[A]

They're not in a rush.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Buys you some time.

[B]

It does.

[A]

And you can also put that in your back pocket if you need to break up with them.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I just don't think you're ready.

[B]

Right. I don't think we're ready. I'm not ready. And then they go, well, I'm ready. And I'd be like, well, I would now be like in the court of public opinion.

[A]

Right. You still live with you.

[B]

Yeah. How ready could you be?

[A]

Right.

[B]

So.

[A]

Well, that's why I would be worried also about dating a guy like that. Because I feel like he would bring that up and that would be. He will hard. He can pull.

[B]

He will bring that up even without being manipulative.

[A]

Right.

[B]

He want to be true at some point. If he broke up with you, he'd go, and, you know, this living situation, I just need to get it taken care of before I can concentrate on a woman.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I would say that it would. That just flowed out of me just now.

[A]

Yeah, you said it very.

[B]

I said it. Pretty convincing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Pretty.

[A]

Well, girl. Winter is so last season. And now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry eyes. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders. That perfect hang on the patio sundress. Those sandals you can wear all day and all night. And you've had enough of shopping from your couch.

[B]

Done.

[A]

Hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in person spring treat. It's time for a trip to Ross. Work your magic.

[B]

From sauce to dust to nuggets. It's Taco Bell's new Diablo Dusted Crispy Chicken Nuggets. Are they mild? If they were mild, they'd have to change the name to Little Rascal Nuggets or Minor Nuisance Nuggets. Definitely Diablo. New Diablo Dusted Crispy Chicken Nuggets. A brand new classic only at Taco bell. At participating U.S. taco Bell locations for a limited time. And while supplies Last. All right, let's play some games. Let's red flag a deal breaker. It's the game that's sweeping the country. You're dating someone, you go on a date, one thing happens. Everything's great. One thing happens. Is it a red flag or is it a deal breaker?

[A]

Right. Are you gonna. Is it enough to end it?

[B]

Go for it.

[A]

I'll read it. Hi, jj. Love you guys.

[B]

AI Jordana. Read it.

[A]

Yes, I wish. Hi, J. And J. Love you guys. You guys got me through a really tough breakup a few years ago, and I've been a loyal subscriber ever since. Thanks.

[B]

We gave her that vibrator.

[A]

Got you back out.

[B]

Back out there.

[A]

A few years ago, when I went on a first date with a guy, and in the nicest way possible, I knew there was something feminine about him the second he opened his mouth. We had a really nice time and had a lot in common, but I couldn't shake my initial feeling of uncertainty about this. Okay, the next day at the brunch table, of course, I was telling my brother and my cousins that I went on a date with this guy who was really great, but there was something feminine about him that I couldn't put my finger on. My brother, who was gay, said, let me see his profile. I pulled it up on my phone, and with one look, my brother gasps and goes, oh, my God. I matched with this guy, too. We all burst out hysterically laughing, and my brother and I started comparing our conversations with this person that we had both been talking to on the apps. This guy clearly has a very specific type. My cousin said hysterically laughing. And great taste, my brother added. On the one hand, I couldn't believe that this was even a possibility, but on the other hand, I was just relieved that my gator was working properly. So red flagger, deal breaker. He matches with you and your brother on the dating apps. It was a deal breaker for me. Don't get me wrong. We love a bisexual king, but I just couldn't risk a lifetime of sexual tension between my partner and my brother at Thanksgiving dinner table. Can't wait to hear what you guys think. Love and incest is not best batch.

[B]

Wonderful email. This is like a Modern Family episode.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, I could see Cam and Cam wasn't single, but if Cam was single and Sarah Hyland after she'd gone to college.

[A]

Yes. It would be more like Claire and her brother was. What was Mitchell. Mitchell. Yeah. Claire and Mitchell dating the same.

[B]

If she was like, this could have been a flashback to them in College. Yeah. Honestly, it probably was a storyline on Modern Family that they talk about. Right. Well, I've had this happen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Not in the. You know, I've had this happen with my brother.

[A]

Were you matched with the same person?

[B]

I matched with someone that messaged me. It's actually in the book.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I got. I hated it. I was angry about it. We met, we matched, and then they messaged me, hey, I've already hooked up with your brother. I just want to let you know I'm a big fan.

[A]

You've talked about this on the show.

[B]

Yeah. And I was like, what an annoying. I didn't need to hear that. Like, just don't sweat.

[A]

Right. But she was like, but I couldn't go out with you. Okay. I don't think I can go out with you because I've already made, like.

[B]

Right. I didn't need to hear that. I didn't need that in my head, you know? Like, I just told you you're hot. Oh, yeah. I. I don't think you're hot, but I do think your brother was fun to hook up with. And good luck with everything. Like, that's not how you would talk in.

[A]

Right.

[B]

In real. In. In person.

[A]

What if you had a sister and she had matched with your sister? Same thing.

[B]

Huh. I guess I only thought of this from the buy male way, and I was like, I don't think, like, this guy that matched with both. Like, I don't think it's as easy for him. Like, who.

[A]

For the guy.

[B]

The buy guy, I don't think has an as easy time as the bi woman. If I had heard that my sister matched with a woman that I match with, I guess it would be weird. I don't. I've never had a sister, so I don't know how that would hit me, but I. I would assume that would hit me in like a. I still

[A]

think it would be weird. I agree with, like, the sexual tension, but just know it kind of. Because a match is sort of like, we both are sexually attracted to each other.

[B]

Right. That is what you're announcing. It really does.

[A]

And so, like, the fact that that's already out there is weird. I mean, if I met them in person and we fell in love and then I found out like, a year later that they matched with my sibling. It wouldn' deal breaker if you found

[B]

out that Mike had matched with John on a dating app.

[A]

Yeah, that might be different.

[B]

Like, I mean, let's put this in real terms. Like, I. I just.

[A]

If I found out he matched with one of my sisters, Like, I think that would be. And they never met and they just matched.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, it's. Well, it is different. That's kind of what we're saying. Match with my brother. Yeah. It would be, like, a little. I mean, that's also, like, incorporating. So the someone is. Is a bisexual person, as opposed to, like, maybe what I thought they were, which is, like, heterosexual. That's something else I would have to consider.

[B]

Right. No, it's just funny that she's like, we love a bisexual king. I'm like, well, no, you don't. Like, I don't mean to be the killjoy, but, like.

[A]

But I do think it's different going into it than if you found out, like, let's say she was like, she went out with this guy and they dated, and then she found out a year later that he matched with her, that he was bisexual and he matched with. Her brother admits that she knew that he was. By the whole time. She might not care.

[B]

She might not. I would bet against that, considering just what I've. The data I've consumed from women.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I. I just. I think that would be a very interesting email to hear the perspective of a person.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because that's not really, like, generally, like, a nice thing to say.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

You know, like. Like. But that's kind of what this podcast

[A]

is for, to be, like, uncomfortable conversations. Right.

[B]

Yeah. Right. So I think it's interest. I think it's an interesting, like, King Solomon's debate, you know, Like, I. But I do think, you know, it's funny. It's just. I just think it's so funny to be like, we love, you know, she's giving an opinion that the Internet.

[A]

Right. It's not about him being bisexual.

[B]

Right. And it's. I think it totally is about him being bisexual.

[A]

Right. So you think, like, if she dated this guy and really liked this, like, you think the bisexual thing would stop her from going out with him rather than the. The fact that it was her brother?

[B]

I would. I don't want to make assumptions for her, but she did go on a date with a guy and didn't, like, liked everything, but it's, you know, that he had a feminine vibe, you know, so I would assume that, yeah, that would be considered feminine to her. So.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

It's hard to. It's hard to untangle all of it.

[B]

Right. This is. If you want to look. Well, it is funny that, like, I'm not being a. Kind of a killjoy. I'm being a little bit of a.

[A]

No, I think you're being, like, bringing up. I think you're bringing up the reality of the situation for many people.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

Like, it feels icky to say.

[B]

Right. And I feel for, like, there is a bisexual guy out there who is on both apps.

[A]

Yeah. Or as. I don't know if. Can you be like, does it say you're bisexual if you're on. Like, if you can. Can you go on.

[B]

She didn't know.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So. But. But he's playing. He's doing his. He's having his best bisexual life on the dating apps right now. So you can be seen by Texas. Good for him. But I'm like, that's gonna be, you know, difficult for him.

[A]

Right. Have you ever seen someone's, like, sister on the app and then, like, oh, yeah. Would you swipe left?

[B]

I've seen them. Well, sometimes. No. Sometimes you're like, I've always thought she was cute.

[A]

Even though you, like, hooked up with her sister.

[B]

Oh, I always. I thought of, like, a man's sister.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

A woman's sister.

[A]

Yeah, a woman's sister.

[B]

I have had this happen. Would you not know it?

[A]

Okay. If you don't know, it's different.

[B]

But if, you know, I match with someone that was someone's sister that I had already hooked up with, and I was like. And then I didn't realize until later on, and I was like, I feel like I'm being a jerk.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, and then when I. When I realized, I was like, I kind of just backed away from it for sure.

[A]

Unless she dumped you. And then maybe it's okay.

[B]

So it's a deal breaker for you if they match with yours.

[A]

Well, it sounds.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not. That's another thing. I'm not trying to say. I'm above this woman. I'm. I. It would be a deal breaker for me. Right.

[A]

I do think it would be Weir. Even if it was like, again, my sister, just knowing that the two of them have announced through this app that they find each other sexually attractive.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I don't know if it would be enough. I think it'd definitely be a red flag. I don't know if it'd be enough to do it. I think the bisexual thing, I probably would add another layer to it, and it might be too much for me.

[B]

Let's do another.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

J and J. Feather.

[A]

Feather.

[B]

Longtime listener. Thanks for always keeping me entertained when it comes to the tries and tribs of dating. I recently went on a first Date with a guy I met on Hinge. I proposed getting a drink and he countered with dinner. Not usually my vibe for a first date, but I agreed. He said he'd get a reservation and ended up snagging a last minute reservation at Philly at one of Philly's most expensive restaurants with a pre fixed three course meal, which I found a little intense. He then kept offering to send me an Uber to pick me up for the date, which I declined. On the day we we ordered several cocktails at his encouragement. And then when picking our three courses, he added a second entree, a la carte. All in all, the date cost easily 400 or $500. Boy, Philly a lot cheaper there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Here though.

[A]

You know, it doesn't sound that crazy.

[B]

People live in Philly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which in when a city. Which in a city like Philly feels wildly unnecessary. Yeah. I mean, there must have been a lot of people in their sweatsuits there.

[A]

Is that what they wear?

[B]

That's everywhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Philly and Boston have very similar styles.

[A]

Yeah. I don't. It's not exactly the fashion capital of the country.

[B]

All those people in eagle sweatshirts. I let him pick up the bill as it was all his idea. Yeah, I would he better, but the whole situation made me feel icky. So red flag or deal breaker? He overspends on a first date. Thanks for everything you do. A cheap date. What do you think?

[A]

Yeah, I agree. This would be. I don't know if it'd be a deal breaker. If he was like extremely rich, it like wouldn't be. I guess it wouldn't be a deal breaker. It would still be kind of a red flag. But if he's extremely rich and that's just how he does everything. I don't like dinner on a first date with anyone, but I agree. I think that the expensiveness of the date kind of makes it feel like the stakes are higher, which I don't like for a first date either.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why I don't like it.

[B]

I think it's rude.

[A]

It's rude.

[B]

I think it's totally rude to put her in this position where she's sitting there like, what do I owe this guy?

[A]

Right.

[B]

And she doesn't have any history on him to know it's a hinge guy.

[A]

Right.

[B]

What you're saying is totally reasonable. Hey, like, honestly, if this was. What's the Philly, Brad? If this was Bradley Cooper. He's from Philly, right? Bradley Cooper.

[A]

I thought he was Canadian.

[B]

He's from PA. He made the movie about Philly. He's Mr. Philly. If.

[A]

Right. If you were.

[B]

If I was on a date with Bradley. Bradley Cooper.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You match with Bradley Cooper on Hinge.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he's like, hey, I think you're great. You have a good vibe. But I also. I'm Bradley Cooper, and I can't just waltz around Philly. So I'm gonna send a car and I'm gonna just take you out for a night. That would be comfortable for me, and I hope you're okay with that.

[A]

Well, that makes it a little better.

[B]

That makes it totally better because there's only so many restaurants. Bradley Cooper could be taken care of.

[A]

And also, Bradley Cooper is so rich to me that, like, this doesn't feel like a big splurge to him. And I would know that.

[B]

And you have some information to know that.

[A]

Right? The regular Hinge guy. Like, I think it's, like, cheesy. Unless he is, like, extremely wealthy. Almost like, it's like you're almost using it as like a card. That's why. Shows you something. Yeah.

[B]

You're making up for your personality.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Wherever you think it needs to be made up for. Yeah, yeah. No, this is a deal breaker for me.

[A]

I agree. And sending the Uber, like, stop.

[B]

It's also like. It's like when someone over compliments you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, like, when I. When someone gives me like a million compliments, I'm like, it makes you uncomfortable. Yeah.

[A]

Like, yeah.

[B]

Like, how about a real conversation?

[A]

Are you expecting me to give this back to you? Like, what do you want?

[B]

I have nowhere to go here. You've. You've actually painted me into a corner that I can't really get out of with normal conversation.

[A]

Right. I agree.

[B]

That's a deal breaker.

[A]

All right, let's do one more.

[B]

One more.

[A]

Okay. Hi, J. And J. Long time listener. First time writing in. I went on a first date last night and immediately had to write to my favorite duo to hear their thoughts. I'm getting back in the dating world after dat. After taking time off the apps and went to drinks with a guy from Hinch. On paper and in person, most things seem good so far. Similar interest, general vibe is easy together. Etc. The only thing is that he has a pretty noticeable lisp when he talks as a speech pathologist. Sorry, Jared, you know, we know you hate speech.

[B]

I'm not a big speech pathologist guy.

[A]

This is hugely an ick to me

[B]

and I think long running opinion on this podcast.

[A]

This is hugely anecdomy and I Fear. I can't see myself long term with someone with a lisp. That is very fixable with speech therapy. Lol. I would love to know your thoughts. Is it a red flag or a deal breaker that the guy you're seeing checks all the boxes, but he has a noticeable lisp? Much love and thank you for your dating wisdom. Wow, it's so. It's never the speech pathologist that you think have would have the issue, right? You would think, yes, I will say

[B]

I can teach him. I can.

[A]

I would. That would be my thought if he was great in every other way. But he has this lisp. I would, I would, if I was a speech pathologist, just be like, I could work with this personally.

[B]

Well, that's why speech pathologists are liars

[A]

and that's why we hate them.

[B]

That's why we don't like them. This, this email actually proves my point that they stink. Yeah, this. This is. This stinks.

[A]

I will say, as someone who got braces before their wedding and had a lisp, if you recall, you can find the episode where I have the full. Jared cannot control his laughter.

[B]

Disgusting.

[A]

I had a full. I had a full list for probably, like a really heavy one for probably and then like a mild one for probably like six months.

[B]

It was pretty brutal.

[A]

That was tough. That was a tough time for me and it did give me a lot of empathy.

[B]

For all of us.

[A]

Yes, for all of us. I mean, as a podcast, as a podcaster, maybe not the best move, but it did give me a lot of empathy for people with speech impediments or lisp, because it's really hard. You literally cannot control it like you

[B]

would if you could.

[A]

If you could speak without one.

[B]

You would, right?

[A]

You got some mean reviews on the podcast during that time, including one person who wrote their review in a list. Lisp.

[B]

In a lisp.

[A]

Making fun of me.

[B]

I think I remember that.

[A]

I still remember it.

[B]

Commitment to the bit.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I mean, good for them. Well, this is why this is the way this is written is like you

[A]

would think she would have empathy for someone with the speech impediment.

[B]

Well, the box. You would think she would, right? If she liked him, she would be like, well, I can help him as well.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's why I don't think any speech pathologist got into it for the love of speech pathology. That was always my issue with speech pathologists.

[A]

That you don't. That you don't believe they care about their.

[B]

They don't give a. About their clients. I would actually.

[A]

Did you have a bad experience with a speech pathologist.

[B]

When I moved to New York way back 40 years ago.

[A]

Tell us about your dramatic speech pathology story.

[B]

All these people went to speech pathology schools, and they would all. I've done this bit before. They would all explain to you why they did it. Oh, you can go to graduate school, but you don't have to go to med school. And you can go work at a. At a school. They can have. A school system has to pay you, like, really big wages and you don't have to work in the summer. They all had these, like.

[A]

You don't believe that they're. That they care.

[B]

Well, just like I don't believe this woman's email.

[A]

I don't believe this woman cares.

[B]

All the boxes. Here's what she wrote. Red vlogger that the guy you're seeing checks all the boxes, but he has a noticeable lisp. I don't think. I think you're lying to the world.

[A]

You don't think he checks all the boxes?

[B]

No. You were unattracted to him. You're not willing to admit that this lisp turns you off. And you're trying to, like, paint yourself as this, like, oh, this is so funny. I mean, it's just the lisp. He's one lisp away. No, he isn't.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You don't like him.

[A]

But maybe she would like him if he didn't have the lisp.

[B]

I think she would. I. I don't think that this is right. I think I would call this picky in an icky or picky if it

[A]

was a Nicky or picky. You would say it was picky, right?

[B]

Because it's like, I, I think people have gotten over other things. And you can fix this. You have the powers supposedly.

[A]

Right? The fact that she can fix it to me, like, is weird that she wouldn't just date if she truly. If he was great in every other way, totally. Why she wouldn't date him and help him out.

[B]

So that means she doesn't really. She's not into him. Because the other thing I. I guess you could say, well, why hasn't he fixed it? Is he not thoughtful? That's like.

[A]

It's kind of like you can't really

[B]

ask, well, what's going on? Anyone has the skill to ask or know what the, the insecurities are that go with a lisp. It's someone who works with people who has lisps.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Wouldn't you think she would have the tool chest full of tools to, like, work through this.

[A]

With them, you can be turned off for any reason. That's right.

[B]

But that's.

[A]

Again, that's right.

[B]

No, but that's. That's the point.

[A]

Point.

[B]

She's using this as like to. For her laughs.

[A]

Right. She wants us to justify it.

[B]

Right. I just don't buy it. Like all speech pathologists be better at your job. Yeah. A bunch of liars, grifters. Speech pathologists.

[A]

Do you ever run into any in person?

[B]

I try to avoid them anytime.

[A]

What's worse, speech pathologist or a teacher?

[B]

It's tough to say no. Teachers. I love teachers. Because now know I do get a lot of teachers at the shows are like, I'm a teacher, you know, like

[A]

a lot of jokers.

[B]

Yeah. A lot of teachers. I. I'm a big teacher fan. It was. Could I date one?

[A]

Right.

[B]

No. No.

[A]

But at least you respect them.

[B]

I'm joking.

[A]

Unlike speech pathologists.

[B]

The only thing the T shirt thing came up was because it was asking what profession and I had to give one. And that's the one I gave.

[A]

Okay. Emily's not a teacher, right?

[B]

No.

[A]

Or a speech pathologist.

[B]

Thank goodness.

[A]

All right, well, we did it.

[B]

We solved dating again. And we only offended a good portion of our audience.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So all the Philadelphia speech pathologists.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Please don't leave us. Yeah, but this was great. Always a pleasure and we'll see you on Friday. Boom. You can't reason with the sun. Trust us, we've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your [e-mail] to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome, Columbia. Engineered for whatever.