Podcast Summary: U Up? by Betches Media

Episode: How to Answer ‘Why Are You Still Single?’

Date: November 26, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid

Overview

This Thanksgiving-themed episode of U Up? dives into navigating awkward dating questions and expectations during the holiday season, especially the dreaded “Why are you still single?” Traditionally irreverent, Jordana and Jared share their signature blend of humor and practical advice, discussing holiday anxieties, family expectations, early relationship landmines, and crafting positive narratives about singlehood.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Gag Gifts and Inside Jokes

[01:20 – 10:30]

• Jared sends Jordana gag baby onesies with “Bogo Baby” (Buy one, get one) after her pregnancy announcement, leading to a debate about dark humor and friendship boundaries.
  • Jordana initially unsure how to interpret the joke but appreciates its intent, discussing how only Jared could get away with it.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Jordana: “My first thought when I saw the two onesies that you sent me was, who the fuck would send me this?” [04:49]
  • Jared: "That's the story. Like, that's...seriously." [07:01]

2. Blackout Wednesday & Holiday Socializing Pressure

[12:49 – 16:50]

• The night before Thanksgiving (aka “Blackout Wednesday”) is highlighted as a major social event with pressure to update people on dating and career status.
• Advice: Prepare “ladder statements”—quick, efficient answers about your life for inevitable small talk.
  • Jared: “Have your ladder statements ready, like, and have them be quick and efficient.” [13:45]
• Discuss the anxiety of appearing “behind” in life to old acquaintances.

3. How to Share Life Updates: Positivity and Brevity

[15:52 – 16:50]

• Jared and Jordana role-play how to answer intrusive “update” questions, emphasizing:
  • Staying upbeat and brief
  • NOT using words like “busy” to feign success
  • Avoiding negative spirals or appearing defensive

4. Thanksgiving Family Traditions & Relationship Milestones

[17:42 – 19:23]

• Jordana describes her evolving relationship with Thanksgiving, from non-traditional family gatherings to now joining her in-laws for a more conventional holiday.
• Both hosts reflect on how relationship status changes the holiday experience.

5. Thanksgiving as an Early Relationship Litmus Test

[23:29 – 35:04] (Letter from a Listener)

• Listener email: A man (6 weeks into dating) is invited to his new girlfriend’s family Thanksgiving and feels it's "too soon" and potentially over-committing.
• Hosts’ take:
  • “Beware of holidays, birthdays, and vacations—they mark relationship turning points.”
  • If you feel the invite is too much, communicate honestly. Suggest having "the talk" before accepting.
  • Jordana: “If you don’t want to invite them to your birthday party, then you don’t really want them in your life.” [31:45]
  • Jared: “You can’t have it all... if you do try, you’re a piece of —” [32:30]
• General rule: If you’re hesitating to involve someone in major life events, reconsider the seriousness of the relationship.

Answering “Why Are You Still Single?”: Strategy & Scripts

6. The Holiday Interrogation: Navigating Nosy Relatives

[55:54 – 63:39]

• Listener asks for tips on how to answer inevitable intrusive holiday questions about singlehood.

What NOT to Say:

• “I have standards, that's why.”
• “Everyone sucks.”
• “Should see the men out there, it’s horrible.”
• “No life is harder than being a single 29-year-old…”

What TO Say (Practical Responses):

• “I'm having fun, just waiting for the right fit—let me know if you have someone for me.” [62:39]
• “I'm dating and meeting some great people, but haven't felt that spark.”
• “Still looking, would love to meet someone great. Do you have any suggestions?”

Key Insight:

• Respond with positivity and openness—turn the tables, invite relatives to help, and keep it light.
  • Jared: “You’ve got to be Coca-Cola... You want to be the first name someone thinks of [when playing matchmaker].” [59:14]
• Avoid sounding bitter or defensive to keep the conversation—and your spirits—up.

Relationship Dynamics & Red Flags

7. Petty or Prudent: Height Lying & Tall Petty Revenge

[35:16 – 46:33]

• Listener’s date lied about his height and later publicly insults her. She later plots “tall revenge” at a concert.
  • It's “petty” but (in this outlandish example) deserved due to his rudeness.
  • Both hosts debate the etiquette and psychology of height and dating app bios.

8. Red Flag or Deal Breaker: Exes and Boundaries

A. Prioritizing Exes Over Partners

[65:56 – 69:06]

• Listener’s boyfriend is still extremely close to his ex, refuses to adjust that friendship.
  • Deal Breaker—especially for his unwillingness to compromise or acknowledge why it’s odd.
  • Jordana: “The deal breaker is the way he’s responded to her… thoughtful questioning.” [67:12]

B. Ex’s Family Still Close

[70:07 – 71:53]

• Another listener’s date shares that his ex’s family still comes for Thanksgiving.
  • Not a deal breaker—at least he’s upfront and acknowledges it’s unusual.

C. Too Controlling over Joint Activities (TV Shows)

[72:16 – 75:23]

• Listener’s boyfriend never lets her pick TV shows.
  • Both agree: major red flag, possibly a deal breaker—reflects selfishness and a lack of compromise.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jordana, on how to answer “Why are you single?”:
  “Love that. Now you take the ball, pass it right back to them. How am I still single? Well, why don’t you make that happen?” [62:44]
• Jared, on positivity:
  “If you come with negativity, it’s not going to work. It’s just not going to help you find someone...or have fun for the rest of the night.” [57:17]
• Jared on dating milestones:
  “Beware of holidays, birthdays, vacations… You go through them and you’re more entrenched...” [27:12]
• Jordana, observing relationship tests:
  “If you’re waffling on, should they be at that event, then? They shouldn’t be in your life at all.” [31:55]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:20] – Baby Onesie Gift & Inside Joke
• [12:49] – Blackout Wednesday/Thanksgiving Eve – pressure and conversation scripts
• [15:52] – How to answer “what’s new/what do you do?”
• [23:29] – Listener Email: Thanksgiving invite after 6 weeks
• [35:16] – Petty or Prudent: Height Lying & Revenge
• [55:54] – How to Answer “Why Are You Still Single?”
• [65:56] – Red Flag or Deal Breaker: Boyfriend’s Ex as Best Friend
• [70:07] – Red Flag or Deal Breaker: Ex’s Family at Thanksgiving
• [72:16] – Red Flag: Never Letting You Pick the TV Show

Final Thoughts

The episode underscores the value of proactive honesty, being intentional with holiday encounters, and the importance of staying upbeat and open—especially with nosy relatives. Keep your responses positive, don’t take the bait on baiting questions, and remember: involving others in your singlehood PR campaign might just help you find your next match.

For more advice or to submit your own questions, email uup@betches.com