How to Answer ‘Why Are You Still Single?’

Summary

Podcast Summary: U Up? by Betches Media

Episode: How to Answer ‘Why Are You Still Single?’

Date: November 26, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid

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Overview

This Thanksgiving-themed episode of U Up? dives into navigating awkward dating questions and expectations during the holiday season, especially the dreaded “Why are you still single?” Traditionally irreverent, Jordana and Jared share their signature blend of humor and practical advice, discussing holiday anxieties, family expectations, early relationship landmines, and crafting positive narratives about singlehood.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Gag Gifts and Inside Jokes

[01:20 – 10:30]

• Jared sends Jordana gag baby onesies with “Bogo Baby” (Buy one, get one) after her pregnancy announcement, leading to a debate about dark humor and friendship boundaries.
  • Jordana initially unsure how to interpret the joke but appreciates its intent, discussing how only Jared could get away with it.
• Memorable Quote:
  • Jordana: “My first thought when I saw the two onesies that you sent me was, who the fuck would send me this?” [04:49]
  • Jared: "That's the story. Like, that's...seriously." [07:01]

2. Blackout Wednesday & Holiday Socializing Pressure

[12:49 – 16:50]

• The night before Thanksgiving (aka “Blackout Wednesday”) is highlighted as a major social event with pressure to update people on dating and career status.
• Advice: Prepare “ladder statements”—quick, efficient answers about your life for inevitable small talk.
  • Jared: “Have your ladder statements ready, like, and have them be quick and efficient.” [13:45]
• Discuss the anxiety of appearing “behind” in life to old acquaintances.

3. How to Share Life Updates: Positivity and Brevity

[15:52 – 16:50]

• Jared and Jordana role-play how to answer intrusive “update” questions, emphasizing:
  • Staying upbeat and brief
  • NOT using words like “busy” to feign success
  • Avoiding negative spirals or appearing defensive

4. Thanksgiving Family Traditions & Relationship Milestones

[17:42 – 19:23]

• Jordana describes her evolving relationship with Thanksgiving, from non-traditional family gatherings to now joining her in-laws for a more conventional holiday.
• Both hosts reflect on how relationship status changes the holiday experience.

5. Thanksgiving as an Early Relationship Litmus Test

[23:29 – 35:04] (Letter from a Listener)

• Listener email: A man (6 weeks into dating) is invited to his new girlfriend’s family Thanksgiving and feels it's "too soon" and potentially over-committing.
• Hosts’ take:
  • “Beware of holidays, birthdays, and vacations—they mark relationship turning points.”
  • If you feel the invite is too much, communicate honestly. Suggest having "the talk" before accepting.
  • Jordana: “If you don’t want to invite them to your birthday party, then you don’t really want them in your life.” [31:45]
  • Jared: “You can’t have it all... if you do try, you’re a piece of —” [32:30]
• General rule: If you’re hesitating to involve someone in major life events, reconsider the seriousness of the relationship.

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Answering “Why Are You Still Single?”: Strategy & Scripts

6. The Holiday Interrogation: Navigating Nosy Relatives

[55:54 – 63:39]

• Listener asks for tips on how to answer inevitable intrusive holiday questions about singlehood.

What NOT to Say:

• “I have standards, that's why.”
• “Everyone sucks.”
• “Should see the men out there, it’s horrible.”
• “No life is harder than being a single 29-year-old…”

What TO Say (Practical Responses):

• “I'm having fun, just waiting for the right fit—let me know if you have someone for me.” [62:39]
• “I'm dating and meeting some great people, but haven't felt that spark.”
• “Still looking, would love to meet someone great. Do you have any suggestions?”

Key Insight:

• Respond with positivity and openness—turn the tables, invite relatives to help, and keep it light.
  • Jared: “You’ve got to be Coca-Cola... You want to be the first name someone thinks of [when playing matchmaker].” [59:14]
• Avoid sounding bitter or defensive to keep the conversation—and your spirits—up.

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Relationship Dynamics & Red Flags

7. Petty or Prudent: Height Lying & Tall Petty Revenge

[35:16 – 46:33]

• Listener’s date lied about his height and later publicly insults her. She later plots “tall revenge” at a concert.
  • It's “petty” but (in this outlandish example) deserved due to his rudeness.
  • Both hosts debate the etiquette and psychology of height and dating app bios.

8. Red Flag or Deal Breaker: Exes and Boundaries

A. Prioritizing Exes Over Partners

[65:56 – 69:06]

• Listener’s boyfriend is still extremely close to his ex, refuses to adjust that friendship.
  • Deal Breaker—especially for his unwillingness to compromise or acknowledge why it’s odd.
  • Jordana: “The deal breaker is the way he’s responded to her… thoughtful questioning.” [67:12]

B. Ex’s Family Still Close

[70:07 – 71:53]

• Another listener’s date shares that his ex’s family still comes for Thanksgiving.
  • Not a deal breaker—at least he’s upfront and acknowledges it’s unusual.

C. Too Controlling over Joint Activities (TV Shows)

[72:16 – 75:23]

• Listener’s boyfriend never lets her pick TV shows.
  • Both agree: major red flag, possibly a deal breaker—reflects selfishness and a lack of compromise.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jordana, on how to answer “Why are you single?”:
  “Love that. Now you take the ball, pass it right back to them. How am I still single? Well, why don’t you make that happen?” [62:44]
• Jared, on positivity:
  “If you come with negativity, it’s not going to work. It’s just not going to help you find someone...or have fun for the rest of the night.” [57:17]
• Jared on dating milestones:
  “Beware of holidays, birthdays, vacations… You go through them and you’re more entrenched...” [27:12]
• Jordana, observing relationship tests:
  “If you’re waffling on, should they be at that event, then? They shouldn’t be in your life at all.” [31:55]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:20] – Baby Onesie Gift & Inside Joke
• [12:49] – Blackout Wednesday/Thanksgiving Eve – pressure and conversation scripts
• [15:52] – How to answer “what’s new/what do you do?”
• [23:29] – Listener Email: Thanksgiving invite after 6 weeks
• [35:16] – Petty or Prudent: Height Lying & Revenge
• [55:54] – How to Answer “Why Are You Still Single?”
• [65:56] – Red Flag or Deal Breaker: Boyfriend’s Ex as Best Friend
• [70:07] – Red Flag or Deal Breaker: Ex’s Family at Thanksgiving
• [72:16] – Red Flag: Never Letting You Pick the TV Show

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Final Thoughts

The episode underscores the value of proactive honesty, being intentional with holiday encounters, and the importance of staying upbeat and open—especially with nosy relatives. Keep your responses positive, don’t take the bait on baiting questions, and remember: involving others in your singlehood PR campaign might just help you find your next match.

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For more advice or to submit your own questions, email [e-mail]

Transcript

[Jordana Abraham]

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[Jared Freid]

I honestly just want to go to a place where a woman who, you know, a woman like who smells nice, rubs my hair and face and then like kisses me a little bit. Forehead, cheek, maybe like a hug.

[Jordana Abraham]

And then I've seen the thing where you can pay someone to like hug you.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, they do have a paid cuddle thing that became big during the pandemic. I think that's too much.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

I just want the rubbing the make out and then also every five minutes they go, you are stiff. You are. And then do my. Yeah, a little valid. They touch my shoulders. They go, oh, you needed this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

That. That's all I want out of a woman.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think you could find some place to do that, right?

[Jared Freid]

Place in the city. Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

For sure. It's called if you're listening. Hello and welcome back to the UOP podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[Jared Freid]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on?

[Jordana Abraham]

I am great and I have waited until we started recording.

[Jared Freid]

Whoa. I can see there's story in your eyes.

[Jordana Abraham]

I have waited to thank you for your gift, which I've received in the mail.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, you got my gift? Oh, the baby gift.

[Jordana Abraham]

The baby gift.

[Jared Freid]

I see. I don't even know these things. I, I, again, I don't know if that was our opener on YouTube, but I pay for a lot. I have a lot of wives. I'm like a Mormon.

[Jordana Abraham]

How many gifts, baby gifts have you sent out in the past month?

[Jared Freid]

Like four or five.

[Jordana Abraham]

Really?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's been a big baby lot, you know, a lot of pregnancy.

[Jared Freid]

Diane at Bliss. Bliss and, and Bliss Boca, they will monogram anything for you. As Jordana now knows, as I now know. And I got a lot. I'm actually curious if you're okay with what we got.

[Jordana Abraham]

So we as in you and the woman.

[Jared Freid]

Me and Diane. Well, I got to kind of. Well, can I. Go ahead. You can say.

[Jordana Abraham]

So I get a package in the mail and I go to open it.

[Jared Freid]

Bliss Monograms, Boca Raton. Just Google it. They're the best. Diane, she'll take care of you.

[Jordana Abraham]

And let me previs. Is since my, my pregnancy announcement, I've had so many, like, companies, like, reach out to me to like, send, Want to send me stuff, which is really nice because there's a lot of shit you need for a baby, apparently. Stuff I would have.

[Jared Freid]

Well, you're an influencer. You're a mommy influencer, you know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not yet. Not yet.

[Jared Freid]

Well, you will be.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Hope all goes well. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Um, but you sound so much like me.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm sorry if they.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. You're gonna fly there if the flight takes off on time?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, we'll see. You know. Yeah. If all goes well. But a lot. So I wasn't sure if it was like that or something like that. So I opened the package and I see the package and my first, I have to tell you, my first thought when I saw the two onesies that you sent me was, who the fuck would send me this?

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

That was my very first thought. And then I opened the card and I saw the note and I was like, okay, it all makes sense and it's very funny.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. Okay. Cuz I told a few people. We'll tell. We should post a picture.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm going to. I'll send, I'll send a picture. So Jared got me two baby onesies for girls. For girls. They're. They're pink.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or boys, if you like pink.

[Jared Freid]

Whatever they want.

[Jordana Abraham]

And they Say Bogo baby on them. Each one says, Bogo baby. Buy one, get one, get one baby.

[Jared Freid]

Let me say, is it not right? I got a couple people said to me. They go, I don't know if that's okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know what? I said that, like, I also said that as soon as I. And I showed it to Mike, and I was like, is this okay? Like, am I. Should I be offended? Is this like. I'm like, I wasn't sure if I was offended even when you were really okay.

[Jared Freid]

I. Someone said to me, they're like, you shouldn't say that. I was like, it's Jordana. She'll get it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I'm sorry.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, no. I like, no, there. It's cute. I'm like, could I. It goes along with the titty shot glasses, I think in the vein of like, this is a.

[Jared Freid]

This is for us.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes, this is for us. You are the only one who could get it for me and it wouldn't be offensive.

[Jared Freid]

That's why I felt that way at first.

[Jordana Abraham]

When I thought it was like a brand sending it to me, I was like, not okay.

[Jared Freid]

Like they're trying to start a business, right? Like surrogacy and having it on your own.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes, you have in the more I let it set in, it was very funny. And anyone I told about the. About the onesies also thought it was very okay.

[Jared Freid]

Well, I was told, and if it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wasn'T sent to me, I would immediately think it was very funny. But because it was sent to me, it took me a second.

[Jared Freid]

Well, okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Even though I love some good darker humor.

[Jared Freid]

You. Well, nobody's darker than Jordan Abraham. I mean, I. I sent. Was said to me. So I was. Your story is also my story.

[Jordana Abraham]

It was said to you?

[Jared Freid]

Yes. And I thought it was the funniest thing ever. And I'm like, I got to put that on. And I. I texted Diane. I was like, put Bogo baby on the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did you have to explain why?

[Jared Freid]

Or she was just like, I don't know. She was like, are you sure? And I was like, strata. She's going to love it. Like. And then the more people I told after I had already gotten it, the more like, my dad was like, I don't know if you should even my dad, like, really send that. And I was like, should I Not even offensive. I was like, I didn't know how offensive it was because it didn't feel. Cuz I'm like, that's the story. Like, that's like, yeah, seriously.

[Jordana Abraham]

I was like, as I was Walking through the thing in my head, I was like, I was like processing the gift. And I was like, well, it is a buy one gift.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, I don't think you're going to, like, have them wear it to Thanksgiving with the whole family.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's funny, cuz I said like, Mike thought it was like, funny, but also weird, but funny. But he was like. And he was like, you can't post that. Just so you know. No, he's like, you can't post that on.

[Jared Freid]

No, it's like one of those. It's a gag gift. But that's like, I figured you're. It's not like you're sitting there like, again, like you said, you're getting sent all this stuff. I'm like, I have to, because you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are the only one who could send it to me.

[Jared Freid]

I have to send the gag gift.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. No, you are.

[Jared Freid]

Just send any gift.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what. That's. You know, that was. My conclusion, was like, this gift is funny and cute and good because it's from you.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

But I think you were literally the only person that could get away with sending it to me.

[Jared Freid]

I forgot it was going to get to you soon. That is so funny, because I was.

[Jordana Abraham]

My initial thought was, what the fuck is. Who the fudge would send me this? Because if it was anyone but you, it would be.

[Jared Freid]

I'm telling you, the store.

[Jordana Abraham]

Random. If a company. Random onesie company decided to send that to me with never knowing me or just hearing my story, right?

[Jared Freid]

And they're like, here you go.

[Jordana Abraham]

That would be weird.

[Jared Freid]

It would be weird. But I, I. When I. It was said to me, like, when I. I. Because I tell your story as if it's my family that got paid. It is. You know it is, right? Uncle J?

[Jordana Abraham]

Train your handwriting.

[Jared Freid]

No. Oh, I don't do any of it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like Mr. Big.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, just send it off. And so when I was telling someone, they were like, oh, it's like a bogo baby. And I go, that's the funniest thing I've ever heard. And I was like, that should be on the onesie. I mean, the kids will never wear it. You have to wear it once so that I can have the picture.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes, I'll put. I'll put them in it. I'll send you the picture.

[Jared Freid]

But Po, we got to post. Put the picture of it on YouTube this episode to show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. And then we'll see. We'll see which one of us gets canceled. Maybe the whole. Maybe the whole show.

[Jared Freid]

There are moments where I Was like, that's offensive. Like, I. I've had moments where someone will say to me, like, see the angle? And I'm like, I guess so. I didn't mean it that.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, listen, if it wasn't to me, I would immediately think it was very funny, as, you know, with most.

[Jared Freid]

Right, right. And which means.

[Jordana Abraham]

Which means it's very funny.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, it's okay. It's a little bit at my, you know, the expense of my traumatic fertility journey.

[Jared Freid]

It's okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sorry. No, I told. I told my friend Liza. She was hysterically laughing the second I told her. And then she was like, not okay, but very, very funny. Yes, that. I think that's the general sentiment. Very funny. Not okay.

[Jared Freid]

Not going to be worn. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not worn in public.

[Jared Freid]

Right. There are certain things where, like, a mom sees it and is like, what is that? Like, they're immediately like. Like, my mom would go, no. Like, if you brought the babies in the Bogo. Baby onesies to your mother anywhere in public. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

They'd be like, what's. What is this?

[Jordana Abraham]

This is for like in the house, maybe when they have diarrhea, just in case something happens, you know.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Laundry day onesies.

[Jordana Abraham]

At least they both say, you know, you don't know which ones. Buy one, get one.

[Jared Freid]

No, that's. That was the point. I'm not gonna, like, have one be both, you know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Appreciate that.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

So you'll have to tell me when they're born. Favorite.

[Jared Freid]

I will be tallying. I'm a big, you know, I like to rank, so.

[Jordana Abraham]

Thank you for your gift. That was. That was a night of. Of thinking and processing and feeling and laughing.

[Jared Freid]

But I always like my gifts to people, put people into.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that the kind of gift you send to, like, what else. What did you send to the other people?

[Jared Freid]

Oh, I.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you have like a. You have like an account, Like a tab?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I mean, listen, I am sending a lot of Lucy in Zany's Nashville. The club in Nashville. The. The woman who manages the club there. Lucy. I sent her a baby. She likes to have cigarettes whenever I'm around her, so. Pregnant. Yeah. While she's pregnant? No, like before.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

So I put cigs on the onesie.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like actual pictures of cigarettes?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. No, it said cigs. Like Michelle Wolf when she had a kid. I sent. I said something. She said that looked. Had a hairy back. And I put something about its hairy back.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

So I, I. Yeah, I generally do. Stupid.

[Jordana Abraham]

They're not like the kids initials.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. You're More creative.

[Jared Freid]

What are we doing here? Why are we on Earth? Why are we living and breathing if we're just going to take everything so seriously?

[Jordana Abraham]

That's fair.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, I think a little stupidity is important for these times.

[Jordana Abraham]

Thank you for your gift. You're very thoughtful.

[Jared Freid]

No, I'm, I'm so happy you got there. It's so funny because sound off in.

[Jordana Abraham]

The YouTube if you are mortified or you think it's funny.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I would love a poll on again. It's like a joke that if it hits you, it hits you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Because I, I heard it, it was from a friend of mine and I was like, oh, that's fantastic. Like, I, I couldn't have loved it anymore. Listen, we want to hear from you on YouTube. We want to get your emails. We love emails. UUP betches.com I'm gonna do a call out for screenshot emails. I think we need more screenshot emails.

[Jordana Abraham]

More with like the text. Yeah, screenshots of text you've gotten. And then we'll Albany right.

[Jared Freid]

Translating your text. We're putting up YouTube exclusives. We did GQ's Modern Gentleman Guide. We kind of, you know, reviewed it and went back at it. We have what to do on a first date and how to handle all these different dating situations. I'm on the road. Would love to see you guys at a show. This is coming out the day before Thanksgiving. What do they call it? Magic Wednesday. What's the name of this day?

[Jordana Abraham]

Thanksgiving Eve.

[Jared Freid]

Well, Thanksgiving Eve is also. There's another name where it's like Bar Wednesday. It's the biggest drinking night of the year tonight. And with that comes a lot of stress and anxiety. Maybe you might be in your hometown. You might be, you know, out with just this random group of people that you've never been around before. It's an opportunity to meet new people. It's an opportunity to, like, you know, if you're single and you want to meet people in real life, this is a night to go out. This Blackout Wednesday is also called those were the Days. Yeah, that was. I mean, do you have a favorite? I mean, I used to go back every year. I, I loved it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, yeah, it was a great time to, like, someone would organize something and it would always just be like a really fun night. You'd see people either from, either. Sometimes you go from college, sometimes you go from high school and kind of like feel like you're back in right.

[Jared Freid]

The back of the vibe. And I, I. My greatest suggestion to anyone, going out tonight Wednesday, Thanksgiving Eve, Blackout Wednesday. Have your ladder statements ready, like, and have them be quick and efficient. Ladder. You know, those ladders. I mean, you're a CEO. You're. You're a founder. You know, the. What do you do? Are you single?

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, where are you from? What's. What are you. I would have. If I was to go back to, like, past me, because so much of blackout Wednesday conversations are horrific. It's a lot of, like, not remembered, not remembered. And they're like cheap convos and small talk. And, like, all you want to do is have fun with old friends and get out of this business talk mode. That kind of happens because you're all posturing. You're all trying to, like, tell people I'm doing okay, that this night kind of. There's a lot of anxiety on, like, okay. I need people to know that I haven't fallen behind. And I think a lot of people who listen here when it comes to dating, maybe they feel they've fallen behind or they may be. They're in a relationship and it's not what they thought it would be. And tonight. So, like, the. The stress of tonight is I. I have to tell my story a little bit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And I think if I was to give any. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Don't you think, like, give an update.

[Jared Freid]

Give an update, and I would, like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Add some color to the Instagram stories. Everyone's been watching.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And people. Yeah, because people know a little bit about kind of. Yeah, that is a good point, too.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You kind of have to, like, cash the check that you've been writing online if you're a poster online, too.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, this wonderful life. Now tell us how wonderful it is. Right. So I think for people, if, like, I think a really good way to, like, make this night less stressful, what do I do? How do I get there? Where do I live? What's my relationship status? Say it positive, say it fun, make it quick, and you'll be good. I think that's, like, the best way to go. Like, yeah, Like, I remember. I mean, for me specifically, like, I'd go back and I'm trying to be a comedian, you know? Like, it's like. But we've never seen you be funny, you know? Like, we've never seen a joke. We've never seen.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're trying to be a comedian, right?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I would say.

[Jordana Abraham]

How was that? How you would phrase it, I guess.

[Jared Freid]

When I was tough?

[Jordana Abraham]

Because you don't want to be, like, pretending to be someone you're not, but you Also don't want to seem like I'm off like a loser.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So I would say work is great. I'm always looking for new opportunities.

[Jordana Abraham]

That sounds, like, not that great. Oh, looking for new.

[Jared Freid]

We write to edit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Work has been great.

[Jordana Abraham]

So here's how you sound so busy. It's just like, it's hard to, like, even, like, you know, pick my head up. And then I realize, you know, it's. I can't believe it's already Thanksgiving. It's just like work with work. Everything's just so busy.

[Jared Freid]

I hate the word busy during this time.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's. I feel like that's the. That's how people show you that they're like, they're doing. They're booked and busy.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. If I could avoid the word busy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I would avoid the person who says the word busy during Thanksgiving.

[Jordana Abraham]

You said looking for opportunities, like unemployed.

[Jared Freid]

Too networky.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's.

[Jared Freid]

Let's talk it out.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Work is great. I'm single. But dating's been a lot of fun. Hopefully I find the right person. I mean, we're gonna do a little bit of this later on.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

But I just think right now, if you're thinking, like, how do I prep for. For a kind of an awkward night, like, let's talk out that. That first, that, that statement.

[Jordana Abraham]

And also, like, what are the topics that you're actually the most insecure about? Those are the ones you need the best answer on.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And kind of the most, like, positive one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Positive spin.

[Jared Freid]

Positive spin. We go to the Spin Zone tonight. So. And if you're in South Florida, I'm going to be in Miami and Fort Lauderdale this weekend. I'm also going to be in Columbus and Royal Oak, Michigan, Orlando, San Diego, and then in the new year, Philadelphia is like, first stop on the new year. So get your tickets. Jared Free dot com. What are we talking? We're doing some Thanksgiving stuff.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, we're doing Thanksgiving. It's. It's. Tis your favorite. Is the eve of your favorite holiday.

[Jared Freid]

Truly the best holiday of the year? All you do is sit and eat and watch football and just a lot of nothing. And I really, you know, but there's also a hint of that. It. I bet you I say that because I haven't really grown up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Because you haven't had to hang out with anyone else's family.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Like, how do you feel about Thanksgiving?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think. Did we talk about this last time?

[Jared Freid]

Well, you. Like, I. We've talked about that. You know, you go to your.

[Jordana Abraham]

I Like it.

[Jared Freid]

Mike's place.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. As an adult now, I go to Mike's family's house where it's like very. It's much more traditional Thanksgiving. But as a kid, I remember I told you, like, we all went to. We all dispersed to our fathers, to the dads. Yes. And my older siblings. Dad, like, had like a house in Westchester and would. Would go there and like, have like a more traditional Thanksgiving. And their dad was remarried, but my dad was like, kind of single and he didn't have, like, a house. So, like, we would go to dinner and then we'd all like.

[Jared Freid]

It'd be like, you had Thanksgiving with me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that what you do?

[Jared Freid]

No, but like, if you came. If you came to my apartment.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh.

[Jared Freid]

If three girls just showed up my door.

[Jordana Abraham]

If you had four daughters. Ye. And in your old. Especially in your New York City apartment.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

You wouldn't like, we're all going to sit in my studio.

[Jared Freid]

It wouldn't be very traditional.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. It would feel a little like. All right, so we're just going to dinner.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So that's kind of what we did.

[Jared Freid]

Who wants McDonald's?

[Jordana Abraham]

And then especially growing up, my sisters and I would fight all the time. So just be like a lot of fighting all around. Not. It was just like, not the best holiday for me.

[Jared Freid]

But now. Do you like it?

[Jordana Abraham]

Great. Yeah. Now it's. I got someone else cooking an exorbitant large meal. All I have to do is show up. It's very nice. Yeah, it's very much more traditional.

[Jared Freid]

Listen, sometimes traditional is nice. So.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, that's what you have, right?

[Jared Freid]

I do. I mean, well, yeah. If you're listening now, I'm probably on the beach.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wow.

[Jared Freid]

Just. Just roasting.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, enough about you. All right? Let's.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do anything. Roasting on an open be.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's funny.

[Jared Freid]

Big old titties hanging out, going into the ocean of you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, wow. You're gonna be so tan.

[Jared Freid]

Happy Thanksgiving from me to.

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm always ready to sing be on Broadway. You know that rush you get when you find something cute and it's on sale? That's the thrill of the deal. And Rakuten takes it to another level. I am a huge Rakuten user. I have the little widgets installed on my phone, on my computer, and to me it's like a no brainer. Like, why wouldn't you. Everything I buy, I check Rakuten to see. Is there a percent that they're giving back on anything that I'm.

[Jared Freid]

I'm using it because of you. It is honestly so easy, so wonderful. And it's like when you start using it, you think of all the days.

[Jordana Abraham]

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[Jared Freid]

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[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, there's no reason not to use it.

[Jared Freid]

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[Jordana Abraham]

And that is how you live a fiscally responsible life.

[Jared Freid]

So make sure you don't miss the highest cash back rates of the year with the best holiday sales. And keep an eye out for Rakuten Weekly. Big Deal reveals where one great store offers high cash back for one day only. Membership is free and it's super easy to sign up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. That's R A K U t e n rakuten.com Join today for a new member welcome bonus after minimum qualifying purchases, terms and conditions apply. I have recently gotten my hands on another pair of skims pajamas. They are different than any other pajamas I have. As a woman, it's hard to find a pajama set that doesn't make you feel super frumpy. Your choices are like sexual and like uncomfortable or very, very comfortable and not flattering at all.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, it's tough to find a good spot.

[Jordana Abraham]

Exactly.

[Jared Freid]

That's everything from skims just like this like unbelievable combination of sexy and comfortable. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

The fabric is incredible. I wear it most nights until it gets dirty. I need more because when I've worn it too many nights in a row, I have to wash it and I can't wear it that night because I air dry it.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, now you got like to wear your other stuff.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, the old ratty sorority tea. It's, it's not a cute look. You literally cannot go wrong with this skims sleep set. It is so comfortable. As you know, I have a large Christmas list and it is the perfect gift. Not just for me because I'm going to get myself another pair but for my mother in law, my sister in law, any siblings, any person in your life that you know enjoys a nice, comfortable and attractive set. Of pajamas. Perfect gift. You don't even have to think about it. Just get it. You'll be so excited to get it.

[Jared Freid]

Shop our favorite [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show from the drop down menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now [e-mail] let's do it for his email.

[Jordana Abraham]

Dear J and Jay, Love the podcast. I discovered it after finding Jared's clip on YouTube and find your dynamic hilarious and very helpful.

[Jared Freid]

I always working for this show, always trying to bring in new people and I Love that.

[Jordana Abraham]

I 29, male and from the UK and have been living in Chicago for six years now.

[Jared Freid]

Cheerio.

[Jordana Abraham]

I graduated college here, work the whole midwest adult thing. I don't have immediate family nearby but had a couple of really close friends. I've been seeing this girl, 27, female, for about six weeks. Dating has been going really well. We see each other almost every other day and getting to know her has been great. We were talking about plans for Thanksgiving and I mentioned that my friend and his family that has had me over for the last few years are going out of town and so just going to have a solo weekend. She felt bad and said I should come to her family's dinner. I find it really sweet to be invited, but because dating has been going so well, it feels like a big deal to say yes or no. We haven't had the what are we talk yet. I like her but I haven't had time to really think about if I could have a future with her. I've been having that's so funny. I've been having fun getting to know her. I've never met her parents or siblings and honestly I'm not sure if we're serious enough for a full on holiday family dinner. Is it too soon to meet someone's family after six weeks? I don't want to go, but is there a way I can accept the invite without over committing or sending the wrong message? This is interesting. He says I don't want to go, but is there a way I can accept the invite without over committing or sending the wrong message? Should I say I should be introduced as a friend so we don't put pressure on us? Curious to know what you think.

[Jared Freid]

J and J. I love this email. This takes you inside the mind of a man.

[Jordana Abraham]

I haven't had time to Think about what? About if I see a future with us. You see each other every other day. I've been at times so busy. Can't have time.

[Jared Freid]

Can't think about the future that second.

[Jordana Abraham]

To think about it.

[Jared Freid]

Can't think for one minute.

[Jordana Abraham]

So occupied.

[Jared Freid]

She's just some chicky bangs every other day.

[Jordana Abraham]

And that's crazy to me. Like six weeks, you see each other every other day. You haven't had time to think about it.

[Jared Freid]

Long term relationship.

[Jordana Abraham]

I didn't even think about it.

[Jared Freid]

Sat with that. Gonna need a few months to think about that. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

This guy's annoying me.

[Jared Freid]

Well, it was written by me at.

[Jordana Abraham]

29, but I like that he's thinking about what this means.

[Jared Freid]

No, he's. He's in the right place. He came to the right spot.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Eventually he. He felt the swirl of emotion in within him and. Yeah, I can hear. I understand why that's annoying. Listen, I've. I've had. I'll never forget it. I was dating someone. They're like, you know, what's up for Thanksgiving? Like, we were like coming to that time of year. And I was like. And I'm like, I. I'm going home. Going home. It's fall break, you know, Mom's cooking, fall break. And I'm like, right. I'm active. But I was like, talking like I was 2138.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

So I'm like, you know, and this is a man's like, kind of like 27 forever. And if you're not on okay, you know, relationship. I need. I'm. If that's not your goal, that's where this is.

[Jordana Abraham]

What are we doing for things?

[Jared Freid]

Right? And she is. Right. I'm talking about the girl that even asked it to me. She wasn't. I hate, like, this whole thing of, like, too soon. He. He asks, is it too soon? There's no to anything.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I mean, he has no plans. I would ask if I were her, of course.

[Jared Freid]

And her asking is. He's getting anxious about it because it is a. Him saying him getting asked is a step. Yeah, him going would be a step. Like, again, beware of birthdays, holidays, you know, New Year's.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Vacations. Because you go through them and it doesn't matter if there's been a conversation at all. You're more entrenched with each other after this event than you were before.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. But what's interesting is he's like, I don't want to go, but how. How do I accept the invite without sending the wrong message?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I I think if I don't want to go, he doesn't want to go and make this more serious than it is. And it's like, that ain't possible. He's a smart guy. He knows.

[Jordana Abraham]

He.

[Jared Freid]

He's not stupid. So I. I think the best, you know, he. And he's also saying, I like this person, and I don't want to lose what we have going on. And maybe it could be long term. Even though if he's having these conversations with himself, maybe it's probably not.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I think if you go home for Thanksgiving with someone, you're at least exclusive.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely.

[Jordana Abraham]

I would imagine.

[Jared Freid]

I think he needs to say to her, like, it's. You cannot go and ask her to.

[Jordana Abraham]

Introduce you as a friend.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, no, no, that's not happening.

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

I think if I were him, my first move. If I could be the ghost of Thanksgiving future.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I would go to her and go, hey, I just want to talk to you about Thanksgiving. This is a big deal to me, because it is. He's writing to us.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

This is a big deal to me, and here's why. I feel like we're going to be more serious afterwards. I'm going to meet your family. I'm going to be. And we are going to be a very real couple after this holiday than More real than we are now. And that's a lot for me to take in right now. I don't mean to offend you, but I hadn't really thought about any thought. Zero thought into it. Yeah. And I'm sitting here just. I'm having a little bit of a. I'm getting anxiety from it. I think that's like a perfectly honest and reasonable thing to say and to let her know, like. And then to hear what she has to say.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

She might say to you, we don't know what she's gonna say.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, I also think it's a little. It's not like she invited. He. He. You know, he has a family in town, and she invited him. And, like, she. It does seem like part of the invite was like, you have nowhere to go.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And so I'm going to invite you for that reason. And so she might be thinking, like, yeah, I could see. You know, I kind of just didn't. I wanted you to know that if you wanted to come, you were invited, but if it feels too soon for you, that's okay.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or she could say. Say like, oh, I feel like we are headed in that direction. We see each other every other day.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Strangely I have been thinking about where this might be going and for you to think that. Yeah. And I mean, it could be. It could end it, depending on how deep in she is at that point, which is.

[Jared Freid]

This is a status check. It's a heat check.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, and I think when you, you know, the advice of, like, you know, hey, this means something to me. Because it does. You can't sit here and not admit that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

That gets the ball rolling. And I think what you're saying is so right. Like, she might have just been like, hey, you had nowhere to go. I just. My family.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

My family. Right. Is it rude? And also, we've been seeing each other, so I kind of thought. You thought this was more serious. Like, she might look at you and go, you don't think this is serious? We see each other every day. Like, the talk is happening.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

The reveal has happened.

[Jordana Abraham]

Would you invite someone to your fam if they were in. If you were seeing them for six weeks every other day and they had nowhere to go for Thanksgiving, would you invite them?

[Jared Freid]

If I didn't see a future, I would end it. This would be the reason I would end it.

[Jordana Abraham]

You would think you would. Like, if you. So you would have to. It would force you to think about if you saw.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Beware of holidays. So you would cations.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not invite them. You would almost break up with them or invite them.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

That would be my plan. As dumb as that sounds.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, it makes sense.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, it would be. This is the time of year where you have to do a reality check. And I've done that. I've. I. And I feel weird about it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not gonna let someone ruin your favorite holiday. Right.

[Jared Freid]

Well, that's the thing, like. And there's only so many excuses. There's really no good excuse at a certain point. Just like I said, going back to that moment.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I've had that. Where I, like, my birthday was coming up and I was having, like, people at a bar for my birthday, and I just didn't really want to invite the guy that I was seeing. And so I, bro. I, like, ended it because I'm like, if you don't want to invite them to your birthday party, then you don't really.

[Jared Freid]

Where all your friends and people who love you will be gathered.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

If you're, like, waffling on, should they be at that event, then? They shouldn't.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Then they shouldn't be in your life at all.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And that's the hard part is, like. And it's kind of what he's saying. He's like, I don't want to go, but if I go, can we say we're friends? You can't have it all. I mean, like, you know, we sat here with Sean Kilby on our Friday Feels episode on the SOS and like, you know, we're looking at Sean, we, we get to the end of that episode, we're like, so what do you want? And he's like, well, I wanna. And you're like, that's not how life works.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. You don't just get every single thing of every part of every relationship that you want.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And then what ends up happening is if you do try to have it all, you're a piece of.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, because if this guy, you know, I'm not telling him to break up with her, but I mean, I'm telling her. You have to have a conversation.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And if you don't, you know, well, you can't. What's gonna happen as well. And he's. This is what he's worried about. You came to Thanksgiving, you met my whole family. You acted like you were my boyfriend. And now I have to like undo all that because you didn't want to have an uncomfortable conversation.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, that's what it comes down to.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, he's on the cusp of 30. It's time to have the uncomfy convos.

[Jared Freid]

Hey, I feel for this guy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just do it.

[Jared Freid]

Or just dress up as a turkey and be like, I'm the Thanksgiving turkey and give out gifts.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is the part that's flaking me is just like, if you want to spend every other day with someone, how could you even be dating other people? Why don't you just be in a relationship with them?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just. Just I guess you're in a relationship. What would be.

[Jared Freid]

Well, you know, did I mention this the other day, the. I saw this video and it was like it was a dating tick tock. It was like this old woman from like, it was like in black and white, like it was an old video.

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

And she was like, men don't aren't saying they don't want to be in a relationship with you. They're saying they don't want to grow up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And that hits home. That hits home. I mean, like we've said it here.

[Jordana Abraham]

They don't want to go to the next.

[Jared Freid]

I don't want you to. To make you my responsibility. And he's right now he's in no responsibility land. And. And I Think that's like, you know, we do the societal thing for women all the time. And it's like, if you do the societal thing for men and what they're kind of like, anxious about in this scenario, like, he's like, I have to move on to being. And again, this isn't as much the case anymore. We live in a different world. But I think he's brought up in a world that sells young men. You better, you know, be able to provide. You better be able to be ready to, like, shoulder a certain burden. And he's like, well, why would I. I don't want to do that. Or he hasn't thought about it because it's, like, more stressful to think about. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

If you're. If you're conflate. If you're putting them together.

[Jared Freid]

If you're putting them together. So I. I don't know. I. I just, like, I get his anxiety and why when he says I haven't thought about it, it's like he's avoiding thinking up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, well, I mean, it's. Well, then I like the move because it's forcing him to think about it.

[Jared Freid]

He is. Well, and he's thinking about it. He went from avoidance to. I guess I gotta ask Jay and Jay what they think.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, so let's do petty or prudent. Ready?

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Petty or prudence. The game where you end something with someone and then you do something. Were you being petty or was it prudent?

[Jordana Abraham]

We'll find out.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, ready?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yep.

[Jared Freid]

Guys, love the pod. Excited to see Jared in Miami soon. I have a petty or prudent for you. Benveno Mami.

[Jordana Abraham]

So authentic. So authentico.

[Jared Freid]

Salsa I matched with a super cute guy on Hedge last summer. Let's call him Joey. I pay for the app to filter by height because I'm 510 and want men around my height or taller. Charleston's dating pool is tiny. There are way more single women than men.

[Jordana Abraham]

I've heard that.

[Jared Freid]

You've heard that?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Well, Charleston's also cute town, usa. Like, Charleston's the West Village of the South.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I could see that.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. So Joey and I texted for a week, discovered we had a lot in common, including the same dog breeding street. Plan a date at a dog park that serves drinks. What a wonderful dog. Dog park. I love that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sounds great.

[Jared Freid]

When he showed up, it was obvious he lied about his height. He was more like 5, 7 or 8 in shoes. 510 to 5 8. Huge difference.

[Jordana Abraham]

Very big difference.

[Jared Freid]

I'm 5, 8 and a half, depending on what leg I stand on.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And I get a lot of people that say to me, which I, I, I'm okay with. Height is not my insecurity. Of, of the many I have, that's not one that really hits me that hard. But I get told like, oh, you're, you're, you're tall, five, eight. And I'm like, I guess.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. But I'm not five, ten.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Like July, any world you would ever think you were five, would you call yourself five, nine in any scenario?

[Jared Freid]

Never.

[Jordana Abraham]

Have you ever?

[Jared Freid]

Never, never, never. I would never.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think 5, 8 is the number you go with every time.

[Jared Freid]

I am a planner. I am a. I try to be thoughtful, especially when it comes to putting myself out there.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's just such a bad play. Like, I, I get to me, maybe that's the confidence I'm missing. Maybe men who put 5, 10, and when they're 5, 8, like, I kind of, I envy that confidence.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's not confident. I think it's the opposite of confident.

[Jared Freid]

I agree with you. But maybe that delusion helps them in other ways.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I think it's like if you think that you are appealing to women in other. You have more to offer than your height. You don't need to lie about your height. If you think that that's. That you have so little to offer otherwise.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That, that, that you need to be a certain height to even get in the door, then I think it's an unconfident thing.

[Jared Freid]

Well, let me go back at you a little bit, because don't you think that takes a massive amount of confidence to think my other intangibles will make up for this very real lie I'm telling or delusion? Is that confidence?

[Jordana Abraham]

It's more of a delusion and like a tricking thing. It's like a. I think it's more of a manipulative. Manipulative thing.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But manipulative doesn't mean it's not confident that.

[Jordana Abraham]

I guess to be manipulative, you have to have a certain sense of confidence, but it's not like a, the good kind of confidence. It's like, you know, like the good fats and the bad fats. It's like the bad confidence.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Yeah. I don't know. It's a thought I've had because I'm like, this guy, I think he's 510 is like, I want to, like, put myself in this pool of men that Maybe I'm missing out on. I mean, she did say she signs up for hinge so that, like, she pays for inch so she can say, right, nobody below 510. So, like, I'm not coming up on her radar. Which is fine. I'm, I'm just saying.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? Yeah, but you're saying, like, so he's so confident that he's lying. Well, it's like saying anyone who lies on their resume is confident, right? Would you say that?

[Jared Freid]

I guess.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or would you say they're like kind.

[Jared Freid]

Of a scammer if they suck at those other things, then they're a scammer if they're good at those other things. You know, it's like catch me if you can, the Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Like, all that stuff he does takes a certain amount of confidence, but he's good at keeping the right, the grift going. Like, you'd be like, can you believe this idiot tried to get on this flight?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I mean, you could be a good grifter, right? Yeah, I mean, I think it's, I think it says you're, it screams of insecurity, right?

[Jared Freid]

No, I'm with you more than confidence. I, I kind of look at these guys and I go, you don't care.

[Jordana Abraham]

About your, you're not like, subconscious about, self conscious about your height, because you're like, I have a million other positive attributes to offer a woman that I don't need to be, that I don't need to pretend I'm taller than I am. Right.

[Jared Freid]

I, I, I, I agree with you. But I'm also like, you know, if I get self reflective on it, like, I'm like, why would I disappoint someone so much? You know, like that?

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, you're written. It's more like the risk, right? Like, I even take the risk that.

[Jared Freid]

I show up and they're like, you said you were 5:10.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm like, no, I'm, I'm 5:10 in spirit. I got the soul of a 5:10 man. Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think if you're gonna, if you're gonna exaggerate, I think you can do. Oh, I think you could do an inch.

[Jared Freid]

You can do an inch.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're between, if you're between inches, you could round up.

[Jared Freid]

See, I go, I'll allow that. I could say 59 because I'm five' eight and a half. You could, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

I wouldn't be like, talking about it. Liar.

[Jared Freid]

Idiot.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, no, I mean, like, I'm probably five' seven and a half. I call myself five' eight.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I'm. I'm okay with a roundup.

[Jared Freid]

I round down.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

But I wonder if that's me just being.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think that's very confident. No, I think that's very confident around.

[Jared Freid]

Down because I know the rest of me will make up for.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think rounding down is a very confident move. Rounding up is. I mean, again, it's not as much for women as for men for a tight. But, like, if I. If I heard a man rounded down, I would be like, that guy is happy with himself. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. All right, let's go to the email. When he showed up, it was obvious he lied about his height. He was more like 5, 7, or 8 in shoes. I decided to look past it because he was super nice and we got along really well. He bought drinks, smiled the whole time, and our dogs got along. The bar is low.

[Jordana Abraham]

Smiled the whole time. It's a little weird.

[Jared Freid]

That's a little off. So how do you like Charleston?

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't need you to smile the whole time.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, Mom's doing okay. She had breast cancer, but she's doing fine now. Grandma died in a fiery car. Crashed afterwards. I told my roommate about the date and was excited to see him again, but didn't hear from him for days. Then he sent me an Instagram follow request. Months went by, I moved on, and one night at a bar, I saw him with a petite girl. We made eye contact, and he comes over and says, I just had to stand next to you for my girlfriend. And to see the height difference. Wow. I felt embarrassed and mad.

[Jordana Abraham]

What does that even mean?

[Jared Freid]

That's an insane. I mean, I don't want to doubt this is an email.

[Jordana Abraham]

To be like, I went on a date with that super tall girl.

[Jared Freid]

Look at that. Look at this monster.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

That's crazy also to be, like, this nice guy on the date and then just like, hey, hey, Jordana, get over here.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're right.

[Jared Freid]

Hey, I gotta show my new girlfriend out. It's crazy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Jared Freid]

It's in the. In the. Like, 1 to 10 on the rude scale.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like a 9.

[Jared Freid]

That's, like, really high to me too.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, unless he called her. Like, look how high this tree. This. This huge tree is.

[Jared Freid]

This elm tree. Can you believe I went on a date with this girl? Look at her. Like Jack and the Beanstalk over here. Yeah, it's weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

That is weird.

[Jared Freid]

It's there.

[Jordana Abraham]

More.

[Jared Freid]

So mean. It's weird, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

So you almost don't believe it because it's so Weird and mean.

[Jared Freid]

Right? And he gave. And she gives no color to the date where he acted kind of outlandish. Nice guy, smiled. That's a little weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

But also, he knew how tall she was before the date.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

She didn't lie about her height.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So it's like this whole, like, whoa, how could this. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's also not like five' ten is, like, tall, but it's not like, look at this. Look how tall.

[Jared Freid]

Well, if you're five, five, five, like him.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. This is crazy.

[Jared Freid]

It's crazy. The next day, I saw him post concert tickets on Instagram for a band we talked about and tagged his girlfriend. I screenshot the post, called my two, six, eight brothers, their tall wives, and my tall sister. She brought the whole forest.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's impressive she got that many people together.

[Jared Freid]

It's crazy, right? And booked the row in front of them at the concert. When we walked up the aisle, I turned around and said, doesn't being short suck? With a smirk. My mom later said it was mean. I'm second guessing if my petty scheme was actually too much so petty or prudent. I booked a row of concert tickets directly in front of him and his girlfriend with my tall family and teased him about his height during the show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Thanks.

[Jared Freid]

A tall batch. This story is quite literally a tall tale.

[Jordana Abraham]

Ah.

[Jared Freid]

But it's. I don't. I mean, it's crazy that this happened. The fact that she has three siblings with everyone that, you know, she's down.

[Jordana Abraham]

For the show, right? Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

She, like, they all conspired to, like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, did they know or were they just like, yeah, I'd see that person in concert.

[Jared Freid]

She comes in like, fifi fo fum to the concert.

[Jordana Abraham]

It makes me think Charleston is, like, really quite a small town.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Posted the tickets with the seat number and she. That's why she.

[Jared Freid]

So then she saw that she was open. The whole row was open.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Her.

[Jared Freid]

And, you know, the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Here's the thing. If she didn't want to go to the concert, it's petty. She just went for this for this reason so that she could, like, like, do this whole revenge scheme in her head. Of course it's better.

[Jared Freid]

And take up everyone else's schedule. You got, like, people who have things to do. They're like, I guess I gotta get a sitter. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, am I okay? Am I okay with it? Does he deserve it?

[Jared Freid]

Yes, he does deserve it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Does he deserve it? Yes. Is it petty? Also yes.

[Jared Freid]

Right? It's like a pot of Elephants come.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Rumbling through the aisle.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, if she happened to see him at the concert and they happened to be sitting behind her and she was, like, kind of joking about how they couldn't see over her.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That would be more prudent. She bought the tickets so that she could. She's been rehearsing that line in her head.

[Jared Freid]

She could have came up with a better line.

[Jordana Abraham]

I kind of agree. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, it could be a little more. I mean, the fact. The minute I brought him a booster.

[Jordana Abraham]

Seat, that would be clever.

[Jared Freid]

That's funny. The minute I get that row that I know is in front of him, like, now I'm writing, like, we got to have some good lines, you know?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Doesn't being short suck? That's what she came up with this. Sorry, we write to edit, but I mean. Yeah, it is petty. It is deserved. I'm with you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, if that story. If he really did that, that is crazy.

[Jared Freid]

This whole story lives in the land of, like, even if it was on tv, I'd go, this would never happen. Right, Right. But I would love to hear follow up and feedback from her. I'll give her two pieces of advice. One, unfollow him. Like, yeah, get away from this guy on Instagram. I mean, anyone who would do that, like, they're not worth even watching. It'll make you feel bad.

[Jordana Abraham]

Plus, he's a guy who lies about his height.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So, two, what do you think? There's a very specific line here. And I had this kind of happen last night. She says he's with a petite girl. Are you looking at the women that men you've dated are with after you? Is that like a. Or before you? What is your judgment? All of them doing?

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm doing the full, full research. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

What, What. How does the person. How does the women that a man date affect you? Like, what's it like to see an ex of your husband's. What's it like to see Instagram posts of the guy's former girlfriend when you're about to go out? Like, how does that hit you?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think you definitely compare your looks. For sure. You're like. I think if they're. It's. It's funny. You don't want them to be, like, so hot, but you also don't want them to be, like, very unattractive.

[Jared Freid]

This is so interesting.

[Jordana Abraham]

You don't look at that at all.

[Jared Freid]

No, I. I think the. The blessing of male confidence is that I make.

[Jordana Abraham]

Most of the time when I see. When I see a Man like that I used to date or hook up with and the person he's with, they usually look within 10 to 15 away from me, right? I'd say, right? Looks, what, like attractiveness wise, like hair color, height, like general, like, you know, brunette, Jewish looking girl I would say is probably you.

[Jared Freid]

You see the girl, you go, this makes sense.

[Jordana Abraham]

Usually I'm like, this makes sense. And like I'm cool with it. Occasionally you'll see someone with someone where you're like, where you're like. Sometimes I'm like impressed for them and I feel good to be in the same league.

[Jared Freid]

Interesting.

[Jordana Abraham]

And then sometimes it's a little insulting. Last, if it's too bad, it's a little insulting.

[Jared Freid]

I have a few stories about this. I mean, stories that I can't really.

[Jordana Abraham]

Get into the petite thing with Romy.

[Jared Freid]

So it's funny. I was with a friend last night, we went and got dinner. Close friend, I won't say names, but close friend of the pod. You know them as well. We're catching up there. We're on this dinner and they're telling me about this person they have been going on dates with. And they're like seemingly excited, right? And I'm happy for them, okay? And then. And all of a sudden a person comes up behind me on my left and goes up to them and goes, hey, it's so crazy you're here. And they're chit chatting and then I get introduced. I'm Jared, nice to meet you. And then the guy walks away. And my friend is across the table like. And I'm like, what happened? She goes, that's the guy I've been going on dates with. I was just talking about him, okay? And I look over and he's at the bar with another woman.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's on another date.

[Jared Freid]

He's on another date. And I'm like.

[Jordana Abraham]

And they're currently been. They've been going on dates.

[Jared Freid]

Not dates. It was like very early. They. She told me this amazing meet cute story. It was like one of those. And I could tell like, how many.

[Jordana Abraham]

Dates had they been on?

[Jared Freid]

Not any. They were. They had a planned date coming up, but they had met through friends and.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

In this wild circumstance that I was like, this sounds awesome. And like, like I was like really happy for the whole story. You know, you hear someone's story of how they met and then they're gonna go on this first date, but it's really like the third time they've come across each other.

[Jordana Abraham]

Excite. There's a lot of Excitement.

[Jared Freid]

It was out of a rom com the way they met. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And then on a different date.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm like, well. Well, then I, you know, maybe she's sitting with me. And I go, well, her. And she said. She goes. And she's so skinny. And I go. And I was like, it's so funny. I go, do you think he's saying that about me? You know, like, he's like. Like, he's like. And he's so skinny, like, because. And it's funny because, like, she's with me. We're friends.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Like, so that explanation is easy, but from his angle, he doesn't know who I am.

[Jordana Abraham]

And that's true. Yeah, you could be.

[Jared Freid]

Unless he's a big fan of this show. And me, that could be true. I'm a public figure.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did you introduce yourself?

[Jared Freid]

I. To him? I did, but not to the. He came over. He did the right thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

He did.

[Jared Freid]

Like, he did what you do. Like, he did text.

[Jordana Abraham]

He went to go say. Right. He diffused the situation.

[Jared Freid]

He got ahead. He. He went up to her. Hey, good to see you. Oh, my God, this is crazy. We're going to a concert. So, like, it might. There's. We actually sat there for the rest of the dinner going over what his thing could have been. It's either a date or they're interested in the same band, or they're. They're. It's a friend. It could be his ex. That they had these tickets because he was.

[Jordana Abraham]

If it wasn't a date, would he have said. Would he have clarified that? Should he. Should he have clarified that to her?

[Jared Freid]

I don't think he owes that to her because I think that puts a. A different spin and it adds a pressure to the first date because again, they're so early, so everyone has the right to do everything they're doing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Should she ask him about it when she sees him next?

[Jared Freid]

I told her, I said, you need to. Like, this is topic one of them.

[Jordana Abraham]

How would you say it?

[Jared Freid]

Hey, that was awkward. I hope you know that. Like, I don't know what you were. If you were on a date or not. I don't know. I don't know if you were on a date or not. But I just want to let you know, like, that's my good friend Jared. And, you know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I wasn't on a date. I'm not dating anyone.

[Jared Freid]

Right, right. Or just, like, let, you know, like, let's get it out there. I told her she should say something.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think so too.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Would you say Something if you were him.

[Jared Freid]

Yes, you would. I would say that was awkward.

[Jordana Abraham]

I feel like you'd text her after.

[Jared Freid]

I probably would. I said. And I said to her, maybe she could text him. I was like, you can text him and just be like, hey, it was great to see you. I'm excited. I said, you should text him. It was great to see you. Excited to, you know, play.

[Jordana Abraham]

Cool. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, get together on Wednesday.

[Jordana Abraham]

She's so skinny. That's something I would think.

[Jared Freid]

Well, it's so funny because, like, this reminded me of that because I'm like. I was like, that's such a funny thing to think of because I looked at her and I was like, I was definitely checking out her look. And they were. They were just. They were definitely similar.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, I mean, you don't compare yourself to the new person of anyone you've dated.

[Jared Freid]

Physically, not as much. They'd have to be the Rock for you to be like Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

[Jordana Abraham]

They're in my league of comparison.

[Jared Freid]

Right. No, they would have to be like a muscle head. Or like, what if they were. Like, they could.

[Jordana Abraham]

If they were saying if they were very far off.

[Jared Freid]

If they were very far off.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's kind of what I was saying. It's like, usually they're like 15 away from you, and if they were very far off in either direction, they would kind of take notice.

[Jared Freid]

I've had exes get married to very far off. And I was like, maybe they weren't into me, you know, maybe. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think women's taste feel is more flexible for some reason, but I think you're right. It's interesting because I think with this woman with the. She's like, I'm 5, 10. His girlfriend is like, petite.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is. Does feel like, all right. Like, that. That's something I would notice. Well, I also, as a tall woman as. And again, I would. I don't know if I'd call myself a tall. I'm like a taller woman.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

On the spectrum. I guess I would. I. I feel like petite women are like. Do feel like almost different. Different species to you? A little bit.

[Jared Freid]

Women love women who fit in clothes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, they're tiny.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Women love that. Like, I can. There's certain women that I think are, like, famous because of that. That, like, they're like a human clothes rack.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, of course.

[Jared Freid]

And like, that's like, respected.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what a model is, isn't it?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that is true.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. This episode is sponsored by built. It's almost 2026 and you're still paying rent. Without Built, we can't have that. Built is the loyalty program for renters that rewards you for your biggest monthly expense rent. With Built, every rent payment earns you points that can be used towards flights, hotels, lift rides, Amazon.com purchases and so much more. And when you pay rent through Build, you unlock access to exclusive benefits from a network of more than 45,000 merchants. Just link your credit cards, spend at your favorite local spots, earn build points on top of your regular card rewards and get one step closer to that trip you wanted to take. Personally, I redeem my points for some Amazon purchases because literally I cannot stop buying stuff there and this would really help me out. Build points have been ranked the most valuable point currency by the points guy and they just announced Build Cash, a way to unlock even more value from builds partners. It's simple. Paying rent is better. With Built, earn rewards and finally get something back for being a renter. Join the loyalty program for [e-mail] UUP that's J-O-I-N B I L T.com UUP make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. Every holiday shopper's got a list. But Ross shoppers, you've got a mission like a gift run that turns into a disco snow globe, throw pillows and.

[Jared Freid]

PJs for the whole family, dog included.

[Jordana Abraham]

At Ross, holiday magic isn't about spending.

[Jared Freid]

More, it's about giving more for less.

[Jordana Abraham]

Ross, work your magic.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do another question. All right, let's do upbaches dot com.

[Jordana Abraham]

This one's a short one.

[Jared Freid]

We got a short one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Hi J and J. With the holidays rapidly approaching, hope you can help me and other UOP listeners answer the age old question, why are you single? That seemingly. That seemingly gets asked by that one nosy aunt every holiday. How do I respond yet deflect.

[Jared Freid]

Well, this is the time of year for questions that are going to be annoying, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

I feel like the more common question is like, are you dating anyone? Then why are you single? From an aunt that's like a very annoying aunt.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I would say the middle, splitting the difference. How are you still single? I'm talking about this in my act right now. I get that question a lot. How are you still single? And to empathize with the person asking it, they're thinking, that's a compliment. Yeah, that's kind of what I've come to the con conclusion of when they go, how are you still single?

[Jordana Abraham]

You're great.

[Jared Freid]

You're great. In a world of all these dumpy, horrible people, you're great. How could you not have someone?

[Jordana Abraham]

It's taking you off the market, Right.

[Jared Freid]

And if you're single and sensitive, which, you know, as you get older, you tend to be me. You go, what are you trying to say to me? Must be something wrong with me. You know, like, that's how you feel.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I can't tell this person how to feel when they're getting these questions. But I'm telling you, when you get these questions, it's very tough to take your miserable angle and make the room not feel weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Like, if you come with negativity, it's not going to work. Like, it's just not going to, like, help you find someone, which is something you want to do if you're getting sensitive about this, okay. It's not going to help you have fun for the rest of the night. You're gonna end up. You know, that conversation is going to just hit you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Especially if you, like, make it contentious.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So do you get. You get the question from your parents or from other people? Like, how are you still single? Or why are you still.

[Jared Freid]

I get it from other people. My parents, they already know.

[Jordana Abraham]

They, like. I feel like they know the ins and outs of your.

[Jared Freid]

If they ask, I'd be like, take a look in the mirror. You guys, me up.

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. So I. I just think if I was to give a Thanksgiving dating challenge, okay, that will probably get taken by some old kooky lady, you know, if she wants a new thing, a new, new November challenge. Here's my November holiday challenge for dating. And it's going to be. I need a good name for it. I think we have to talk about being single more. Your first instinct is to hide. And so many people talk to us about wanting to meet in real life. And it's like, now's the time of year to start your PR campaign. Like, when I go to Thanksgiving and I'm hanging with the family and there's someone there, that's like an added bonus.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

What's their deal? You go home. You go. You know, it's like when I do shows at the seller, my goal with the seller is to do well and to work on my material. But I also want someone to go, who was that guy that did this joke? Let me look him up. I want to be a fan. And I think what people kind of don't realize is that when they go home, you need these family members to become your fan and want to think of you when it to comes when the subject of dating comes up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, you got to be Coca Cola. Like, Coca Cola has commercials on during the Super Bowl. Not because they don't. Nobody knows who they are. It's because they want to be the first name you think of when you're thirsty. So how do you become the first name someone thinks of when they think of single, alone, loser. Who needs someone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

And they want to, like, make a happy person even happier there. So if you come back to. If someone says, how are you still single? And you're like, you know, Nancy negative. No one's gonna think of you to set you up. Then no one wants to deal with you.

[Jordana Abraham]

So get. So give us, like, a few lines you can say when you're. When your aunt says, why are you still.

[Jared Freid]

Here's what not to say. Let's start with that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's start with don'ts.

[Jared Freid]

I have standards. That's why. If someone said that, dude, I'd be like, wouldn't you, like, leave them forever?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Like, I wouldn't want to. I'd be like, okay, I don't want to talk about that.

[Jared Freid]

How are you still single? I like to. So shoot me. Not a good answer.

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

How are you? Okay. Ask me again.

[Jordana Abraham]

How are you still single?

[Jared Freid]

Everyone sucks.

[Jordana Abraham]

That, I feel like, is more common than any of the other ones.

[Jared Freid]

Totally.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And it's a bad answer.

[Jordana Abraham]

Should see the men out there.

[Jared Freid]

Horrible. Horrible.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's horrible out there. It's. No.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Stay where you are.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Right. No one's gonna.

[Jordana Abraham]

And you're the Billy Madison. And stay. No, I'm Big Daddy Billy.

[Jared Freid]

Billy Madison.

[Jordana Abraham]

Billy Madison. Billy Madison. You're like, stay as long as you.

[Jared Freid]

Can stay in this mediocre marriage. Never. Leave it. You're going to be unhappy on these dating apps. You're going to look just like me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

It doesn't work. It does. And you think you're being funny. People are going to laugh because they're uncomfortable, not because they think you're funny. Okay. And if you're mad that everybody. What?

[Jordana Abraham]

And they don't believe you.

[Jared Freid]

And they don't believe you. They think you're the problem. And if you are mad that everyone sucks, that means you do want to meet someone. So you're not even helping yourself.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, here's another one you shouldn't do. Big Mama titty needs her button licked. Right. And these soft boys don't know how to use their tongues. That answer.

[Jordana Abraham]

Haven't heard that one.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

At the holidays.

[Jared Freid]

Ever been on the apps? It's hell on earth. And literally no life is harder than being a single 29 year old with disposable income and friends who love them. Nobody it harder than me.

[Jordana Abraham]

That goes with the. With the other one.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Because here's the other thing. When you're single and all these married people are asking how you're still single, they're envious of you. They do believe you are having a fun, no responsibility life. Especially when men depends.

[Jordana Abraham]

It. It depends how you on honestly, like you'd have to phrase it the right way for someone to think that. I think. I don't think we're automatically thinking everyone who's single is having the best time.

[Jared Freid]

Well, I just think if you say how horrible and hard it is, like, no one really buys it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You don't have kids. You don't have to wake up and deal with crying in the morning. You never change a diaper. Like, you know, like they. I just think that they like the. When people overdo the. How hard it is. Okay, I agree. You want to find someone, I'm with you. Like. But I think we have to like, keep in mind that like other people where it stands in the world of problems, even though I'm not one of those persons that's like, like your problems don't matter because there's other problems. But I'm just saying at a Thanksgiving.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

All right. So here's what you should say.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Here's the dues.

[Jared Freid]

I'm having fun. Just waiting for the right fit. Let me know if you have someone for me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love that.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Now you take the ball, pass it right back to them. Right. How am I still single? Well, why don't you make that happen?

[Jordana Abraham]

Now it's your problem.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I'm d. I'm dating and meeting some great people, but haven't felt that spark. Would love to meet someone great. As long as you can present Big Mama Titty with some pictures.

[Jordana Abraham]

Big Mama Titty is the. Is the new.

[Jared Freid]

That's fine. Is your.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is your alter feminine. Alter ego.

[Jared Freid]

That's my feminine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Or just I. I think it's fun to say if you got pictures. Let me see if you can think of someone. Like, you can make it fun. You can also be honest with them. Hey, I haven't felt the spark with anyone. If you have someone in mind, I'd love to meet them. As long as I think their pictures are hot.

[Jordana Abraham]

Haven't found the right match yet.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Still looking. Would love to meet this time of year.

[Jordana Abraham]

Although I would never want a setup from my nosy aunt. It would be like the worst person.

[Jared Freid]

But at that point, your nosy aunt doesn't even have someone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Of course not. Who does she know?

[Jared Freid]

So. But then it gets her to stop. You know, like, how are you still single and you going the miserable route?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

If you say, let's give this aunt a project.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna send you screenshots of my dating profile. Could you send me back a few edits?

[Jared Freid]

I don't even know how to use this thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

You'll realize very quickly that your aunt's asking these questions because she's a horrible conversationalist.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? What if you're. What if you're unemployed and someone's asking you about your.

[Jared Freid]

My job status. I'm out there looking if you know anyone with positions and this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I'm gonna send you my resume. You send it back to me.

[Jared Freid]

Would love to meet anyone and everyone that you think would be a good contact.

[Jordana Abraham]

I like that.

[Jared Freid]

You know, I work in. I work in pod.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't know.

[Jared Freid]

Let's play some.

[Jordana Abraham]

My email, if they want to send them. My email is Big Titty, Big Mama. Big mama titty. Gmail.comBMT yes. Black Friday Savings are here at the.

[Jared Freid]

Home Depot, which means it's time to add new cordless power to your collection. Right now, when you buy a select battery kit from one of our top brands like Ryobi or Milwaukee, you'll get a select tool from that same brand for free. Click into one of our best deals of the season and stock up on tools for all your upcoming projects. Get Black Friday Savings happening now at the Home Depot. Limit 1 per transaction exclusions apply. Full eligible tool list in store and online.

[Jordana Abraham]

Toast the holidays in a new way and raise a glass of Rumchata, a delicious creamy blend of horchata with rum. Enjoy it over ice or in your coffee. Rumchata. Your holiday cocktails just got sweeter. Tap or click the banner for more. Drink responsibly. Caribbean rum with real dairy cream. Natural and artificial flavors. Alcohol 13.75% by volume 27.5 proof. Copyright 2025 Agave Logo Brands, Powake, Wisconsin. All rights reserved.

[Jared Freid]

All right, let's play some games.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Red flag or deal breaker? We love this game. You're dating someone, One thing happens. It's either a red flag or it's a deal breaker. It ends it. So you ready?

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm ready.

[Jared Freid]

Huge fan. I've Got a real life red flag or deal breaker? I've been seeing this guy, 35, for about three months. I'm 32, female. He invited me to a friendsgiving hosted by a woman he talks about constantly. Before the event, he casually mentions they used to date for six years. They FaceTime daily, hang one on one, and even travel to London together. This fall when her boyfriend couldn't make the trip, he calls her his best friend on the same level as his closest guy friend. I told him I'd be uncomfortable with that level of one on one time with an ex and if things, if things became serious. He said he wouldn't change anything because a previous girlfriend also had quote, unquote issues with it and he refuses to quote, unquote, sacrifice that friendship again. He also didn't seem to understand why it bothered me since he has zero feelings for her. For me, this was a deal breaker. He basically said he'd prioritize an ex over any relationship. Also, was he ever going to bring this up if I wasn't about to walk into her house? Red flag or deal breaker? A guy who prioritizes his ex over any relationship. Thanks for all you do.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is a deal breaker. And it's not because or it's not just because he is close with his ex that he dated for six years. It's to me, the, the deal breaker is the way he's responded to her, you know, normal, thoughtful questioning of that relationship.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Yeah, you're exactly right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Which is crazy.

[Jared Freid]

It's crazy. And it's like, you know, at my most empathetic view of this guy that she's dealing with, he's trying what. The only way I can see it as being a normal thing is you guys are early on dating and he's trying to protect his life and not give any ground. And it's like if that's how you are, you're not really ready for a relationship. Like. Right. Like the idea, like. Because I would say like hypothetically, if someone was like, well, I'm not comfortable with you having any female friends, I'd be like, well, that's not a real thing. What are you talking about? But if I over time introduced you to some friends of mine and they happen to be female, right. And over that time you got to know them and you said, I don't want to you having any female friends, I would also say, well, that's stupid. You've met them, they seem great. There's been nothing wrong. But that would never happen that way.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know like his hypothetical of like the hypothetical of like never meeting the friends. You can't have female friends is not a real one. It's a bad, bad actor argument.

[Jordana Abraham]

It doesn't make any sense.

[Jared Freid]

It's never happened that way.

[Jordana Abraham]

And also I almost felt like cuz they've been dating three months that he's like, this is the first time he's mentioned that they used to date. Sounds like he's almost trying to get her to break up with him.

[Jared Freid]

Right. He wants out.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Like it's someone who's anyone to me, who's like someone. If, if someone you're dating brings up something that bothers them or their thought, and your response is like, absolutely never gonna change that. It's like you're almost trying to end it without being the bad guy and having them end it.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Because generally you don't have someone. If you like someone, you don't have a good reason for ending it. So you're creating a good reason.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Creating drama out of thin air. So it's like, well, you don't want me to have friends. This happens a lot with stupid people. Yes, I've noticed. This is a stupid person thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or someone who doesn't have any experience in like articulating a deeper thought.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

The surface level thing that they need to.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So they create the. She's crazy, she doesn't want me having any female friends. It's like, no, you didn't like them that much and you created this female friend to be a problem.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And you're not acknowledging that at all. That it would be kind of strange to go on a trip to London with your ex?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that stuff I don't even buy. Like I, I don't even.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like that's what I'm saying. The fact that you wouldn't. The fact that someone couldn't. Here's the thing. Could someone do that and I could still be in a relationship with them or have done that and I'd still be in a relationship with them? Sure. They would have to acknowledge, Right. That that's not normal.

[Jared Freid]

It would have to be a special circumstance. This is not one or the other.

[Jordana Abraham]

Of course, if you're, you're the problem. If you think there's something weird about.

[Jared Freid]

That, like, no, no, this is. Right. It's like, no, you think it's a problem that I, you know, don't wear pants, Right. Well, societally we've all decided that pants get worn.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. That's someone who's only living in a different world than you or trying to be an.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do another one.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, J and Jay, I have a red flag or deal breaker for you. So I go out to drinks with this guy from Hinge. Over drinks, he tells me his ex girlfriend's family comes over for Thanksgiving each year. Her mom and his mom became really close while they were dating and have just continued to be close since they broke up. Up. I feel like this is weird, but since we're not even remotely dating, I can't be weird about it. Right. His ex girlfriend's family comes to Thanksgiving, red flagger, deal breaker.

[Jared Freid]

It's not a deal breaker. This is almost like the opposite version of the first one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like he's a drinks with you. He tells you about this very peculiar situation that's going on right away.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

In a world of things that can happen, this can happen. Is it everybody's ex's family going to their parents Thanksgiving? No.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

But he's bringing it up because it's weird early on. Like, it's actually a normal way to bring this up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. He's acknowledged it and he's letting you.

[Jared Freid]

In on it right now. As years goes on, this email changes and I think what she's saying is correct. Like, I'm really too early to like, feel weird about this. Like, I need to see it first.

[Jordana Abraham]

They've only been on one date, right? Right.

[Jared Freid]

But on one day, she can't be.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, making rules for the family.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But that's what to go back to the first one, it's like she won't let me see. You know, like she's being the normal human version of the bad actor argument you see on the Internet. You know the bad actor argument on the Internet. If this was on Reddit, this woman would say, I can't date anyone whose ex's family, you know, hangs out with their family still. You'd be like, well, this seems like a very specific circumstance.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. It makes sense in the way he describes it.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And it's like, okay, let's see how this goes dating wise. Maybe you get a year in and now you're at next Thanksgiving and you and you go to the same. And you meet the ex's family and you're like, oh, they are like best friends. It's crazy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And they are really nice.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And he doesn't speak to her other than at Thanksgiving where they.

[Jared Freid]

Or she doesn't even come. Like, you don't even know.

[Jordana Abraham]

It could just be the mom really care. Yeah, yeah, that's fine. So, all right, let's do one more.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do one more. Love the pot. I've got a small but irritating one for you. My boyfriend refuses to let me pick the movie or show when we hang out. We've been dating for eight months, and it was something I noticed the first few months, but didn't pay attention to because he was excited to put on and watch with me. Now, when it's just a chill night and he insists on scrolling through movies, shows he enjoys, if I suggest anything, he immediately shoots it down or says, will.

[Jordana Abraham]

See?

[Jared Freid]

That's so condescending.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, my God.

[Jared Freid]

Red flag. Or am I overreacting? My boyfriend completely controls what we watch on tv.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's funny, she calls this small. I think this is not small.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's huge.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think this is the way he does. This is going to be the way he does everything.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That is not how you divide TV privileges in a relationship. Is not how you think. I have my shows that I watch without Mike. He has his shows that he watches without me. If we're watching something together, it has to be mutually agreed upon.

[Jared Freid]

Right? This is a relationship.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. That's how you have a relationship. And the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So if this is. I don't think this is a small thing. I think this is, like, a selfish person who's not looking to compromise.

[Jared Freid]

I always have this with, you know, my com. My shows where, like, I'll have the wife bring the husband, and they're like, I don't know, you know, hopefully my husband likes it. I. I have that kind of, like, given to me a lot.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm always like, if. If your husband doesn't like me, they don't like you. Like, they don't really respect your opinion. Like. Like, I don't know how I would, like, be dating someone who, like, I couldn't see any value in what they find entertaining.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. You wouldn't at least try. Well, one, you wouldn't at least try it.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

But two, let's say you tried it and that's just not your genre. Sometimes that's the case.

[Jared Freid]

That could be the case.

[Jordana Abraham]

Mike likes the Marvel movies and, like, all that.

[Jared Freid]

Mike and I both, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

And you like them. I don't really like them. Does that mean we don't get along?

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

But do you see the value in, like, you know, Mike isn't going to, like, the Marvel Universe at Disney World, but if he was like, this is a new one coming out Want to come with me? Would you go?

[Jordana Abraham]

I would say, if you can't find another friend to go with you, I don't really want to see those. Those movies. I'm not gonna, like, ever. I would go again. I would go with him. I'd probably. I might, like, even like it on occasion, but I would be like. Like, this is something you. I know you got a few friends who also love this. Maybe you should go with them. If you really want to see it and you don't want to go alone.

[Jared Freid]

He would go alone, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

I go, yeah, if he didn't want to go alone, I would go with him.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

But it wouldn't be like. But I think the TV thing is different because it's like you're sitting down to watch something together. It's supposed to be like, the time you're. I think you should agree. Mutually agree on something to watch or you should do a different activity together.

[Jared Freid]

It's also the activity. Like, this isn't just watching a show. Like, it is, like, eating food. Like eating food. You need it to, like, sustain. You don't need to watch this show. You're doing it together because you want to do it together.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So if he's not even including you, like, this is even together.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And again, I think that's going to be how he's done. He's doing everything.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, we'll see. Yeah, we'll see.

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

Eight months in time to have a little talky poo. Well, we solve dating again.

[Jordana Abraham]

We did it. We'll be back Friday.

[Jared Freid]

Boom.

[Jordana Abraham]

Experience the sequel everyone's been waiting for with Sideline 2 intercepted. Join Drayton and Dallas as they navigate the challenges of college life while trying to stay true to themselves and each other. Catch all the drama and watch Sideline 2 Intercepted, starring Noah Beck and Sienna Agudong for free on tubi. This Thanksgiving betches.