U Up? — "How to Know You’re Ready to Move In"

Hosted by: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: November 5, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode of U Up?, Jordana and Jared tackle the complexities of relationship milestones—particularly moving in together. They discuss how to assess whether you’re truly ready, how priorities and personal "pie charts" shape dating and life decisions, and respond to audience emails covering everything from first date etiquette to deal-breakers like pissing in a rooftop planter. The show is filled with candid, engaging banter, comedic self-awareness, and grounded advice for navigating today’s dating scene.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Updates, Priorities, and Mental Load

[01:50–13:00]

• Jordana shares a pregnancy update: Her physical journey has been smooth, but emotionally, it’s a “whole other ballgame.” She compares the mental aspect to being in “a relationship you’re not sure is going to [work out]” ([02:28]).

• Jared explores balancing life priorities using the personal “pie chart” metaphor. His pie chart leans heavily toward comedy (about 80%), leaving little room for dating, family, or health. This leads to a recognition that men and women often allocate very different prioritization to dating.

  • Memorable quote:
    Jared [11:07]: “So it's 80 work comedy. And then you got 20 left for family, friends, health and dating.”
  • Insight: If dating is only 5-8% of your life, it’s not a real priority.

• Jordana reflects on women’s priorities: For many women, dating can take up 50% of their mental space.

  • Memorable quote:
    Jordana [13:00]: “For a lot of women, it's dating, like 50%. Right, right.”

• Analogy of dating as AP (Advanced Placement) class: Jared feels out of his depth when he finds himself with women for whom dating is a much higher priority, likening himself to someone whose mom got them into AP Bio when they’re not ready ([13:16]).

2. Are You Actually Ready to Move In? The Main Email

[32:45–41:27]

• Listener’s Dilemma: A 33-year-old woman wonders if she should move in with her boyfriend of 1.5 years, feeling anxious rather than excited and worried she just wants to do it because “everyone else is.”

• Jared & Jordana’s Approach:

  • Self-Reflection is crucial: Examine whether you’re excited or just “sliding” into the next step for logistical reasons (his lease ending, city logistics, societal expectations).
    • Quote:
      Jared [36:17]: “Lease runs up. Oh, I guess we should move in. It's a little too... logical and not enough romantic.”
  • Distinguishing ‘Sliding vs. Deciding’: Couples are happier when they consciously choose to move in ("deciding") vs. just doing it for convenience’s sake ("sliding").
    • Quote:
      Jordana [36:30]: “You're gonna do better as a couple if you're deciding to move in together instead of, like, you're sliding into this apartment because of logistics.”

• Practical Advice:

  • Make a list of all reasons you’re excited to move in; focus on emotional motives over logistics.
  • Imagine your life both with and without your partner—does that vision fill you with excitement or relief?
    • Quote:
      Jared [40:51]: “Can you imagine living when you imagine yourself in an apartment by yourself? Are you happy? Are you sad?”
  • Moving in isn’t irreversible: You can always move out; it's just another step, not a point of no return ([39:04], [39:11]).
  • Risk tolerance matters: Not everyone gets a “lightning bolt certainty”—some are more risk-averse, and that's okay.

3. Dating Priorities, Commitment, and Emotional Math

[08:44–21:00]

• Men often aren’t “lying” about priorities; they simply experience “priority” differently or with less emotional urgency ([08:19]).
• Commitment vs. Actions: Jared feels guilty dating women for whom he’s never going to be a real priority; this disconnect is a recurring challenge in modern dating.
• The “Season Two” Motivation: Many people seek relationships not necessarily for romantic connection, but to experience the next “episode” or milestone in their lives ([19:26]).
  • Quote:
    Jared [19:26]: “A lot of the reason people want to be in relationships isn’t even to, like, be with a specific person. It's more to just see, like, the next level in the video game.”

4. Audience Questions & Email Responses

Fun, practical, and real-world dating scenarios with time-stamped takeaways:

a) First Date – Drinks vs. Dinner

[44:05–47:15]

• Listener asked for drinks instead of dinner, the guy ghosted. Was she being icky or picky?
• Jared: Totally fine to ask for drinks; he likely just lost interest or found someone else, NOT because she offended him.
  • Quote:
    Jared [45:07]: “It's a wild assumption... no man would be, ‘You don't want dinner with me!?’”
  • Both would prefer drinks for a first date, keep it casual.

b) Work Crush – Should You Try Again?

[54:30–58:11]

• Listener is unsure whether to pursue a coworker, Nick, after a lukewarm response:
  • His text: "I think it's best to start out as friends."
• Verdict: He's politely declining romantic interest. Don’t chase.
  • Quote:
    Jordana [58:22]: “This is like the nicest way you could say, ‘I'm not interested.’”

c) Red Flag/Deal Breaker: Butt Pads

[69:32–74:34]

• Listener tries padded shorts for a fuller butt; boyfriend is weirded out.
• Jared’s Insight: For most men, you are attractive to them AS you are; changes sometimes trigger insecurity, “I like you flat-butted!”
  • Quote:
    Jared [71:13]: “It's truly how men think of women: it's like, I want that... that's how it was on the shelf. I like that shelf.”

d) Red Flag/Deal Breaker: Rooftop Pee

[77:53–80:32]

• Guy pees in a rooftop planter instead of going inside during a date.
  • Verdict: Deal breaker. It’s a sign of laziness and immaturity.
    • Quote:
      Jared [79:27]: “If a woman did this… That’s a crazy person.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jared [20:58]: “If you’re single, I envy you on a Saturday night, and I pity you on a Sunday morning.”
• Jordana [36:30]: “Sliding versus deciding… You’re gonna do better as a couple if you’re deciding to move in together instead of, like, you’re sliding in because of logistics.”
• Jared [71:13]: “When men date you, we're not looking for you to improve. We like you just as you are—just as you are, that's how it was on the shelf. I like that shelf.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:50 — Jordana’s pregnancy update, discussing mental strain
• 10:00–13:30 — Jared’s “pie chart” of priorities; dating as a small slice
• 14:05–16:50 — Comparing dating priorities between men and women
• 32:45–41:27 — Main segment: Are you ready to move in? Advice and analogies
• 44:05–47:15 — First date: Drinks vs. dinner etiquette
• 54:30–58:11 — Should you pursue the coworker Nick?
• 69:32–74:34 — Butt pads: Communication, insecurity, and cosmetic modifications
• 77:53–80:32 — Rooftop peeing: Red flag or deal breaker?

Original Tone and Language

The entire episode maintains the comedic, self-reflective, and unfiltered tone that U Up? is known for. Jared’s responses are peppered with playful analogies, while Jordana provides methodical, empathetic guidance. The back-and-forth banter is light-hearted with plenty of relatable self-deprecation, directness, and honest admissions about relationships and their own lives.

Closing Thoughts

This episode offers a nuanced, entertaining look at how to gauge readiness for major relationship milestones like moving in, why priorities matter, and how to approach tough dating dilemmas. Whether you’re stuck in logistics vs. romance or deciding if you should text back that lukewarm Hinge match, Jordana and Jared deliver humor, vulnerability, and much-needed realness for anyone dating in the digital age.

For more dating commentary, polls, and bonus content:
@u.up.podcast on Instagram and subscribe at subscribe.betches.com

Watch full episodes on YouTube:
http://youtube.com/betches

End of Summary