How to Survive Wedding Season Alone

Summary

Podcast Summary: U Up? – “How to Survive Wedding Season Alone”

Date: July 31, 2026
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Theme: Navigating wedding season while single, handling feelings of loneliness or exclusion, and keeping your head up through life’s “couples-centric” moments.

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Overview

In this episode of U Up?, Jordana and Jared dig into the realities of attending weddings alone amidst a sea of friends in relationships. They field a listener’s heartfelt letter about the challenges of being the lone single at milestone events, offer validation and actionable solutions, and break down a particularly spicy “Petty or Prudent” exchange. Throughout, their banter maintains the podcast’s signature mix of humor, honesty, and actionable dating advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Petty or Prudent” Segment (10:26–28:16)

• Scenario: A listener describes attending a singles mixer after a breakup, matching with a guy, agreeing vaguely to a date, then declining after a funeral/travel. Guy responds with a snarky text calling her out for “giving out your number like it’s a free sample at Costco.”
• Breakdown:
  • Both hosts read the full text exchange out loud, providing live commentary.
  • Jordana acknowledges the woman’s rejection message was a bit much:
    “I think he responds in an even pettier way… Her rejection text had a little too much in it… but he doubles down on being petty.” – Jordana (20:28)
  • Jared empathizes with the hurt, but dings the guy for lashing out:
    “He’s petty. Let me make sure I get that out there. He answered wrong. He’s being a dick.” – Jared (25:11)
  • Both hosts suggest simpler, less personal rejection texts in awkward situations:
    “You wanted to go out in the moment, you decided later you weren’t into it… This could happen when you meet someone on a dating app.” – Jordana (21:11)
  • Notable advice: If you’re turned down, don’t personalize or escalate—just move on.

Memorable quote:
“At a dating event, my assumption is that you're going to give your number out to a lot of people you don't end up going out with. Like, that would be how I would play it.” – Jared (23:21)

Timestamps:

• [Petty or Prudent story intro: 10:26]
• [Full exchange readout: 17:34–19:34]
• [Final advice/discussion: 21:20–28:16]

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2. Surviving Wedding Season While Single (31:10–45:23)

Listener email summary:

• 29-year-old woman struggling with being the “only single” at friends’ weddings.
• Feels left out of group milestones and is unsure how to shift her perspective or avoid being a “buzzkill”.

Hosts’ Emotional Validation:

• “I'd like to validate this feeling, to start off… there is, like, a thing with women where it does feel like… better to feel like you're doing something with your friends… It feels less lonely to both go through together and to not go through with someone.” – Jordana (33:22)
• “Everything she says is correct. Yeah, it sucks to go to a wedding alone and be around couples... Now, never say it again.” – Jared (38:13)

Actionable Advice:

a) Expand Your Circle

• Find and spend time with more single friends (“they’re out there!” – Jordana [34:18])
• Helps to “refresh” and not feel like your whole life is defined by what you lack at weddings.

b) Take Charge of the Wedding Experience

• Be Busy: Volunteering (e.g., being a bridesmaid or officiating) keeps you involved and out of your head.
• Dance Floor Tactics:
  • “Learn the words to the big songs and get on the dance floor; it’s easier to dance if you can sing along and get lost in the moment.” – Jared (39:57)
• Be Social at Cocktail Hour: Use the “Who brought you here?/How do you know the couple?” icebreaker.

c) Adjust Your Mindset

• “Fake it till you make it”—pretend you already have a boyfriend who couldn’t come so you’re not the ‘lonely single,’ but a confident, independent person out to enjoy herself.

d) Don’t Let Negativity Dominate

• “Never say it again. Okay? No one wants to hear it – you are a buzzkill. You can write it to us! But… be the firecracker on the dance floor.” – Jared (38:13)
• Focus on fun, memorable moments—sometimes even for your own future benefit (Jared shares the story of seeing his now-girlfriend dancing happily at a wedding as a single and finding that attractive [41:43]).

e) Build Community Outside Weddings

• Purposefully create fun, fulfilling experiences with other singles to diminish wedding FOMO; it makes weddings feel like “visiting an alien planet” rather than being exiled from your own.

Notable Quotes:

• “If you need to, put yourself in a position of ‘fake it till you make it’. I would imagine when you go to these weddings, you already have a boyfriend—he just can’t make it tonight. How do you act now?” – Jordana (42:08)
• “At least she would also have the [single] community to fall back on… This would be like going to the alien planet of Relationship-ville, and it’ll be a fun night!” – Jared (43:41)

Timestamps:

• [Listener email read: 31:10–33:22]
• [Validation and first takes: 33:22–35:57]
• [Action items/advice (playlist, dancing, etc.): 37:47–43:09]
• [Community & closing thoughts: 43:41–45:23]

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3. Notable Moments & Quotes

• On men vs. women at singles events:
  “I would agree there are more ‘normal’ women at these events than men. For men, dating happens to them—women actively work on it.” – Jared (13:49–14:57)

• On book recommendations and self-deprecation:
  “This isn’t just a dating book telling you what to do… If you’re mystified by the male mind, this is the key—this gives you all the answers to the test.” – Jared (7:09)

• Humorous self-awareness:
  “Never say this stuff out loud. You sound miserable, but we agree with you!” – Jared (44:57)

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Summary Table of Key Advice

| Issue | Tips/Advice | Host Attribution | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------------------|-------------------------------------------------------------|---------------------|---------------| | Feeling left out at weddings | Validate the feeling; seek out more single friends | Jordana | 34:18 | | Handling being single among couples | Keep busy, dance, volunteer, socialize at cocktail hour | Jared | 39:57 | | Facing loneliness at milestone events | Build a fulfilling life outside couples’ events | Jordana/Jared | 43:41 | | Handling awkward rejections (Petty/Petulant Ex) | Keep rejection texts simple; don’t take it personally | Both | 21:11–25:11 | | Restoring confidence and mindset | Fake it till you make it; imagine you “already have someone” | Jordana | 42:08 | | Avoiding bitterness | Don’t fixate on missing out—lean into fun and presence | Jared | 38:13 |

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Final Thoughts

The episode artfully blends empathy, real-world solutions, and classic U Up? humor, providing single listeners facing “wedding season blues” both camaraderie and fresh perspective. Jordana and Jared remind everyone: revel in your own experiences, embrace your current life stage, and—when all else fails—learn the lyrics, hit the dance floor, and have fun.

Best Closing Quote: "You get it out, you’re right, you’ve been agreed with… Now shut the fuck up and stop telling people that, because you are a buzzkill. Be the firecracker on the dance floor.” – Jared (38:13)

Transcript

[A]

You know what I want this summer? Grab a bunch of friends, buy a big bucket of popcorn, sit back and feel all the feels watching a good summer movie in the theater. And you know what will fill that void? Universal Pictures One Night Only, which is about to be the summer's biggest rom com on August 7th. We truly cannot wait. One Night Only is from the director of Anyone but you, Easy A and Friends with Benefits, starring Monica Barbero and Callum Turner as two strangers looking for meaningful connection on a crazy night set in New York City. The two bump into each other on the one night of the year single people are allowed to have sex. Sounds complicated. Messy. And we are a thousand percent in. So go enjoy some free ac, grab your favorite movie theater snack, and check out One Night Only, which hits theaters on August 7th. Hello and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the UF podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? What's the haps? What's going down?

[A]

What's going on? How am I feeling? It's Friday.

[B]

How you feeling?

[A]

I'm feeling tired, but I'm feeling good. I'm excited to be here.

[B]

Ty. Ty. And excited to be here.

[A]

Yes. How about you? How are you doing?

[B]

I'm doing well. I'm chilling. I'm here in D Ray Beach. I'm in Del Rey.

[A]

D Ray. Who. Someone calls it. Who calls it that now?

[B]

Me. This is what I'm calling it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Took my beach walk this morning. Feeling refreshed. I'm at the gym. I. I got shows this weekend up in Jersey and Connecticut, so I'll be traveling to the Northeast, but I've got. I'm gonna be in Maine. I. I'm excited to be in Maine. I love the way life should be. Portland, Maine, and also Huntington, Long Island. For those of you waiting to hear our I Will be there recap of my visit to Jordana and Mike's house. Sign up for benefits. It came out on the 20th. Go, go, go. Sign up. If you're not a benefit subscriber, you get two extra episodes a month. You get ad free episodes, you get videos. So day early, day early. So, like, benefits. And we, we. The thing about the subscribers, we say pretty consistent people stick around once they sign up. So that's a really good feeling to see.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. But otherwise, I got shows and, and the special. I have a special coming out on Netflix. It's coming September.

[A]

Coming. Something's coming Are you allowed to say the date?

[B]

I can say September. Let me just say September. But we're gon have a, a bigger announcement. You know, they tell you not to say anything because. And here's the reason they tell you not to say anything. They want as many likes and interaction with the social media as possible. So the like, if I trickle this out, like, that's the sad state of the world we live in, is that we're kind of all trying to maneuver around this algorithm that we're treating like it's a God. And that is my request of the audience, is that let's try and, you know, be my, my sacrifice to father algorithms. Here's your sacrifice of father algorithm. Watch the special as soon as it comes out. That is very helpful. Just even if you don't watch it, turn it on, let it run. You'll watch it later, but watch it early. Watch it often. Share, please, God, I want this special to be seen. I, I and Jordana, you know, it's

[A]

such a, it is an amazing special if.

[B]

And it's a batches and J Train production just like this podcast.

[A]

I am very proud of it as,

[B]

you know, as a producer.

[A]

Yes, as a producer, I am very proud of this special. I've seen it like four or five times. It's funny every single time. So even if you watch it day one, watch it day two again, it's pick up on some jokes you made have not picked up on the first time. It's an amazing, amazing.

[B]

And make sure to watch till the end because there's a special surprise at the end. There is hidden camera that I put and I, I did this for the first one and I did it again.

[A]

Are your parents now, like, they just expect a hidden camera?

[B]

In the hidden camera, my mom's going, are you taping us? Are you taping us? And I'm like, no. So she's like, but that's how they are. You know, that's like, like that's how they act. She would be like, oh, you're taping us. So you could see it in the. So we put hidden cameras in the car during the credits. You'll see my parents if you want to see them.

[A]

And.

[B]

But there's going to be a lot of parents stuff to promote it. I'm, I'm gonna do the trailer. I'm gonna tape it down here in Del Rey with them.

[A]

Oh, I'm excited.

[B]

So something's coming.

[A]

Something's coming. I mean, he just told you what's coming. So now you know.

[B]

So now you know, let's do some emails. You ready?

[A]

Let's jump right in. I'm proud of us.

[B]

I'm proud of us. Right in uup betches.com send in your emails. We want all your dating, relationships, marriage, anything you're going through, relationship wise, send it in uupp betches.com and if you want to read a great book about dating walking, Red flag is out. You can buy the book. I'm getting so many heartfelt messages about the book. My God, I gotta keep a tissue box with me. A so many people telling me how much it's helped their life. Like that's like, do people highlight it? Highlight it?

[A]

Highlight special parts.

[B]

Special parts. They said, I'm just, I'm sitting here crying. I don't know why I'm laughing. I don't know why. You know, like it's all the emotions. It's great.

[A]

You said people really love the Audi book too, right?

[B]

They love the, the audiobook because it's, you know, if you're a listener of this podcast, it's me, it's, it's, it's. You can hear me, like how I would tell the story, which is, you know, because it's a lot of personal stories, it's a lot of personal, you know, anecdotes. Like this isn't just a dating book telling you what to do. That's the thing. Like I think a lot of dating books is here are the rules, here's how to act like a bad bitch here. You know, you know there's going to be dating books. Oh, I saw someone post something. They have a dating book. They were talking about how date a guy because who can travel because you know your guy is going to suck but you're still want to travel. It was such a horrific message. It was like, it was like, I was like, this person has a dating book. Like, this is, this is the inmates listening to the. Another inmate at the asylum. Like, this is a crazy. If you want to write the blind leading the blind, if you want to actually get helped by a book. Like I am confident. My brother read it. My brother read the book and he was like, you're explaining this book all wrong. He's like, I loved it. My parents, my family, we're not a blow smoke family. Like I, I hope that I, I

[A]

don't, I think that's come across. But

[B]

my brother was like, you're explaining this book all wrong. He's like, I read this. I was like, this is my life.

[A]

I.

[B]

And he was like, this is exactly what I thought while dating. He's like, this is what. So if you're a woman out there mystified by the male mind in any way, like, you know, I would, I would.

[C]

This the key.

[B]

This is the key. This is going to give you all the answers to the test to know what you should and shouldn't be stressed about. Like, this is like, I, I, honestly, like, I, I can't. And, and my brother was like, why are you talking down on the book? He thought I was, I was like, I don't want to be a bragger.

[A]

Are you talking down on the book?

[B]

I do a little bit of a song and dance where I'm like, I think what I've been doing, I don't know how the book relates to my life right now. Like, now that it's done, I don't

[A]

know where to put it.

[B]

Where to put it. You know, my career, a lot of the things I do are so that two years ago will, Two years from now will be better. You know, when I work on a joke on stage, it's for the special I'm going to tape a year from now or months from now or, you know, when I, so when I do the show, the show is the gift, you know, like, when I do the standup show in Huntington, Long island, that's the win I'm winning, you know, like, that's the joy, all the other stuff. So when I have a book that I did and I was happy to do it and I had fun doing it, but what does it produce for me if it doesn't grow my, you know, following career? I, it's hard for me to, it's legitimizing. It is legitimizing. I, I, that's something, you know, as a, But I, I don't know. I never wanted to be an author, right? So it's hard for me to shut the up. It's a great book, right? I, I, I'm just such a talker. I should shut up more.

[A]

Sounds like the book speaks for itself.

[B]

It does. I think it's good. I think it's funny. I think it's helpful. Like this podcast. Like this podcast. I think it's good. I, I think it's funny. I think it's helpful. Like, there's a reason we've been around. No, and there's a reason, you know, your podcast that you listen to, because they were famous and they already had a following is around and then not around and not that great. You know, they don't have much to say.

[A]

We do.

[B]

We got a lot to say.

[C]

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[A]

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[C]

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[A]

let's do a petty or prudent.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Hi, Jay and Jay. I've listened to every episode, and I want to thank you so much for all the laughs and for making me a better dater. I went to Jared's Tampa show, and it was amazing, and I loved your outfit. What did you wear?

[B]

What did I wear in Tampa?

[A]

You should post links.

[B]

I should post. Do you post links and you get paid on those links?

[A]

You do? Yeah. You get a commission.

[B]

What do you do? You. What you guys. Should I start doing that? I'd like. Do you have commission?

[A]

I guess I think, like, you have a lot of female followers that might buy your outfits for their boyfriend. Boyfriends.

[B]

Yeah, right. I've got that before. Listen, if you want to quince. I. I am a quince buyer. I mean, they sponsor this podcast. I do like their stuff. Yeah. Maybe I'll try it out. I. I get a lot of comments on my watch.

[A]

Yeah. Anything. You get a lot of com. Anything. A lot of people are asking about.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Just. But people want to know.

[B]

I get comments on the watch because people think it's a Rolex and it's not. And I'm not wearing it to look like I'm in a row. Like, I.

[A]

Right. It's not. It's not shilling stuff. It's not gatekeeping where you get your cool stuff.

[B]

Right. That's how Gen Z, that's. You how you turned it around, that's explain it to yourself, right? Gen Z hates capitalists, so now they're not gatekeeping. You know, that's, that's the move. It's all about marketing.

[A]

All right, now on to my petty or prudent? We love petty or prudent. Basically someone does something after they end things. Is it petty needed to be done. Is it petty, did not need to be done or prudent needed to be done.

[B]

I love this email, by the way. Let me just give a shout out to this person. Just great email.

[A]

Great email. Specific. All right.

[B]

Yes, with screenshots.

[A]

I was on a three month dating hiatus following a breakup. Until recently. I learned about a singles mixer happening near me and I thought it would be a fun way to get back out there. At the mixer, you complete a questionnaire on your phone and then they match you with three compatible singles. We with mingling throughout. I live in the Hyde park area of Tampa, which is where a lot of young, attractive singles go out. My honest review is these events are attended by people who have not had success on the apps. I could go into a lot of detail, but I just, I'll just say the odds are good, but the goods are odd. I would say that people, a lot of people have that feeling about singles events.

[B]

Listen, we, I would say we had a singles event, we had a mixer. We, I think we caught, we called it a mixer. We hated the name mixer.

[A]

Right?

[B]

The people who went were all great. Like they were like, just nice and like I felt like a, I felt old because I was like, look at everyone here looks nice.

[A]

And you're like mom at the bar mitzvah.

[B]

Right? Right. And everyone is nice and shakes your hand and is, is a gentleman. But I would say that like the type of person that goes to a mixer, I would also say this is the type of person that goes to a mixer. Someone who describes their life as three month dating hiatus. Like to take that type of organization with your dating life. You are also the type that goes to a mixer.

[A]

Can we say, and do you think that this is a sexist thing to say, but can you. Would you agree that there are more normal women at these, at these events than there are normal men?

[B]

Well, I would say that the type of woman who says I was on a three month dating hiatus following a breakup until recently and then decides actively to go to a dating mixer is more like the general population of women who look at dating as something to be worked on, something to be, you know, trying for. Whereas for Men dating kind of just happens to them along the way, you know. So I think the type of man it would be, I think more, it would be more outside of the normal for a man to take stock and ownership of their dating life in the same way that's, and that's me not being political or too kind. I just think that's the reality.

[A]

Right. Yes.

[B]

You know, so like if someone was to be, you know, on the ball with their dating life in that way, as a man, I would go, that's not normal for many men.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So you're going to get at a dating mixer, either someone who's like really trying to math this thing out or you're going to get someone who's like looking for answers in a place that they find a lot of trouble in as a man. Where.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Men who don't. Most men don't. And again, normal is all kind of in quotes here. But most men don't think they have a dating problem, you know?

[A]

Right. More than. No. A woman might second guess herself in that way.

[B]

Okay, totally. So I think that's why the numbers are askew. Where you go, you go, oh, these are, you know, these are just, you know, the, the types at a dating event. I'm, I, I again, I'm, I'm dancing around words because it's very easy, it's very easy to be mean about this.

[A]

Okay. And I wasn't trying to do that.

[B]

No, no, I know you're not. I'm just saying, even for me, I'm trying, I'm trying to not be mean. But I mean what I say. Like when I again, when I met the men that go to a dating event or are. I thought the men at our event were more normal than the normal dating event.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like I, I'll say that I agree.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I, but I've been, I've been to dating events that were not u up, you know, approved and it was always gentlemen who took this seriously.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Again, there's good and bad to that. You know, there's good cuz you got someone who's zoned in. It's bad because, you know, maybe dat, you know, being social isn't. That person's strong is right?

[A]

Yes. Or there's an intensity perhaps that they have around dating that's not working for them.

[B]

Totally. And they, and, and they don't know how to fix that. Like that's where like why does some, why does a man sign up for dating coach? It's usually they're looking for a social Coach, Right.

[A]

Yes. Okay, well, let me finish the. Well, I'll. I'll get into the rest of the email.

[B]

No, no, I think it's a worthwhile topic.

[A]

But yes, of the three people I matched with, there was one guy who was more put together than the others. So when we were chatting, drinks were flowing and he asked me to take out my calendar to set up a date. I went with it. He really was not my type, but it was fun to chat and be out there again. Fast forward to a couple of days later after the drinks have worn off. I'm attending an out of state funeral, so my thoughts are not really on dating. The guy reaches out via text to solidify a date and I decide that I'm not really feeling it. How he responded shocked me and made me laugh. The question is, who was petty and who was prudent? Or are we both petty? Here are the screenshots of our conversation. Okay, so I will be her.

[B]

I'll be him. So I think we should start from the beginning. She says to start later, but I think let's get a. A view. It's not that long a conversation, but let's get a taste of how it's going. Okay?

[A]

Okay. All right.

[B]

So Thursday night it ends. He sends the text to the phone to let her know that it's his number. Hey, it's blank. The teacher and the white button up. She doesn't answer. So now that's right.

[A]

I assume maybe he sent that at the event or like right after the event. Okay.

[B]

And then later in the night, did you get home safe? I ended up having Chipotle because Jimmy John's was closed. It was really great meeting you.

[A]

It was really great meeting you too. I made it home safely. I'm sorry about Jimmy John's. I love a good Sammy. Anyway, I hope you made it home safely too.

[B]

So now he doesn't answer that and he starts the conversation that Saturday. Hey, you. Smiley face. How you feeling about tomorrow night picnic?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No answer.

[A]

No answer until the next day.

[B]

The next day?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Still still want to see you tonight. How was your day?

[A]

Okay. Hey, I'm sorry you haven't heard from me. I got back really early this morning from the funeral I went to in New Hampshire. I was thinking more about it and I don't want to waste your time or my own. I'm sorry I don't see a love match. And I think I just got swept up in the fun of the moment when I gave you my ph number. I hope you're not Upset, Actually pissed.

[B]

You were my number one. Giving out your number like it's a free sample at Costco.

[A]

That's a little harsh.

[B]

And then no answer. And then a week and a half later, I have front row Lightning tickets on the glass for this week. Would you want to go?

[A]

Sorry, I'll be busy at my Costco shift that day. But thank you for thinking of me.

[B]

It's okay. I was thinking more about it and wouldn't want to waste my time with you at the game. Got swept up in the moment of getting the tickets when I saw. Sent you the text.

[A]

Wow. These two people, really.

[B]

They both. They both went down swinging. So. To Speaker 2.

[A]

Yes. Yes. They both went down a petty route.

[B]

Right. What do you think? Petty or prudent? Is he being petty? Is she being petty? Are they both petty?

[A]

I think he's being petty. I think that, like, I could see him being disappointed. It is like disappointing to feel like you had a good vibe and then someone rejects you. This guy is clearly fresh. This guy is clearly very frustrated with dating. He's at this dating event in the first place. I think, like we just said that kind of is a guy who's very frustrated by dating. She says no to his date. I mean, suggesting a picnic. First date. Talked about that already. A little weird. I don't think her text was great. I would have edited it personally. Her rejection text I think had a little too much in it personally. But I think he responds in a even pettier way than her.

[B]

Right. I had the same reaction that, like, he's being petty.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Again, you go to a dating event and like, she could just say less, you know, I. And. But we're only saying that because she's the one writing to us. So we hope she's listening, you know, to let her know. Like, I'm not saying that in a. Like I. What she wrote. I don't know why. I guess I know why she wrote it. But like, it kind of goes hand in hand with like the. I'm taking a three month hiatus and, you know, this whole, like, she's letting us know, like to let us know, you know, I got swept up. You're not usually my type. Like, yeah, he doesn't need to know that, you know, like.

[A]

Right. That's not really right. You wanted to go out in the moment. You decided later you actually weren't into it. This could happen at any situation. This could happen when you meet someone on a dating app.

[B]

Right. And it could happen with someone that you really liked in the first place and then got turned off by and didn't want to do it. Like, he. And in his mind, he's doing everything right. He went to the dating event. He spoke to someone in real life. He would love to go on a date. He invites you to make a. He says, I'm gonna take you on a picnic. Like, to him, again, the type of guy who goes to a dating event. This is math. Like, I, I invite. I did the thing that every dating podcast said I should do. Every woman angry on TikTok, make a plan. I just did.

[A]

Right. He's frustrated.

[B]

Right. And you and I would go picnic. How about just drinks? Like, let's not, like, overthink this. Like, we would give him different advice than the angry woman who says, make a plan. Like, all plans are not the same, you know? So there's advice for him here. But I think I would have my feelings a little hurt too, if I. And, And I'm. I'm saying this right to her directly if someone said, I got caught up in everything else but you. And. But you. And then I came back to. Once I came down from the high of leaving the house, I remembered you're a loser again.

[A]

I hope you're not upset. I would get rid of that line.

[B]

Right. It could have just been, hey, I can't do tonight. I'm dealing with a death in the family. It's probably not a great time for me to date. And I'm sorry that maybe I got ahead of myself. Done. Like, good luck with everything. Like, even that. Done.

[A]

Right. Yeah, I agree. I think it's a little. It almost comes up a little condescending. I think her ending text to him. It doesn't need to be that much. That being said, his response.

[B]

Oh, he's petty.

[A]

Extremely petty. Yes.

[B]

I mean, petty.

[A]

He's trying to basically make her like, like, sort of slut shame, her phone number giving out or something.

[B]

Right. That's crazy.

[A]

Oh, you don't even. You don't even. Like, you're not even precious about, like, who you will give your number to. Like, that has like a slut shaming energy to me at a dating event

[B]

at a place you're supposed to give your number out to many people. Like, my assumption of any dating event is that you're going to give your number out to a lot of people you don't end up going out with. Like, that would be how I would play it.

[A]

The insinuation to me is that she's like, fast, which is weird.

[B]

No, he's wrong. He's looking to make her feel bad in any way he can, but that's because he feels bad. And I would say to her, you know, if I read that text as him, I would feel badly. I would be like, it would sting, right?

[A]

It wouldn't warrant that response. Yeah.

[B]

How I would handle it, I would hope would be different. But I, I like to use language like I hope because I don't know, you know, maybe I would respond, I don't know how bad a day I'm having or how bad a day this guy's having.

[A]

I can't imagine you saying, giving out your number like it's a free sample of Costco to anyone, right?

[B]

If, if, if I did, it would be to get her to laugh, to try and get her to go out with me. You know, he kind of just leaves it off as like, I guess you just give your number out to anybody, right? And doesn't answer. And like, I think that even if he was, she was like, that's a little harsh. And he was like, lol. I'm sorry, it stings a little bit to be turned down, but if you ever change your mind, I'd love to take your free sample once again, you know, like, so if he had come back with that, right, it could have been softened. It could have been, hey, maybe we meet in the future. You have my number in case you want it. He could have came back from this. That's how, you know, so.

[A]

But then he wouldn't be the kind of guy that maybe is at the stating event potentially.

[B]

And I think that's the thing with women and dating. I think you gotta sometimes. And I, I again, like, I from. He's the petty one. She's a little petty, but not in the petty in the petty of a life. He's petty. Let me make sure I get that out there. He answered wrong. He's being a dick.

[A]

Yes. And then when he texts her again a week and a half later about the front row tickets to the Lightning thing, I would have not answered.

[B]

I would have not answered. Right.

[A]

She's now clearly, I mean, clearly the, the comment got to her, right? A little bit, which was his goal. Because she responds sort of like making fun of the comment and then he responds again even more illusory. Wouldn't want to waste my time with you at the game, right. If we want it got right.

[B]

You just asked me if you. If we wanted to get deep on it. That was his way again, like, like you said, like, I'm able to like, hey, you got my number. I'm. I'm able to recover from stupid Costco comment. Maybe he doesn't have the social ability to do that. But in his small way, I'm sure he thought inviting her to a Lightning game was the way to do that. And when she didn't come back with like, like, you know, when he couldn't really apologize to that you might not want to be with someone like that in the first place. Place, you know, like.

[A]

Right. I mean the whole, his whole interaction is like, has so many flaws. Like why you wouldn't, why would you would ask someone on that elaborate of a date after they've already rejected you is also crazy. Like he's like, and then if she said yes, what Right? Maybe she said yes because she wants to go to the game where you have really good seats. Like why would like, it doesn't make any sense that he would ask her that in that way.

[D]

Right.

[B]

And you have to eat it so hard in dating and some people just can't eat it. Like she, you know, the beginning of the text, he texts her the day, you know, the day before, hey, let's go get a picnic. No answer. So he's probably stewing about it. And then the next day he didn't text her until 5 o' clock at night. So he knows water's kind of under the bridge. I don't think the picnic is happening at 10 o' clock at night. So. Still want to see you tonight. How was your day? So he's trying to like reopen that. Then he gets turned down and he's like, you know, he knew he was going to get turned down, but it's like his thoughts came true, which sucks.

[A]

But he's also got to be a self fulfilling prophecy. It's probably thoughts came true maybe because he's giving off that energy.

[B]

Right. Right. So yeah, he's petty, but let's try him.

[A]

She's also, she's also a little petty, but she's.

[B]

Well, what I was trying to get, what I was trying to get to is like when you go to a dating event, you're there, you're the loser too. So I think she's got to put that. She's kind of like when she's writing this whole thing out as a breakup, she's kind of like explaining why she was at the dating. A lot of her preconceived notions of the dating event or, or you know, her feelings from the dating event and the type of person were there were shown in that text. And we got the candor of the email so we know how she felt.

[A]

But like, yeah, I wouldn't reject someone by saying like, I. I actually don't really like you. I just. That's not necessary. I realized I sobered up and I realized I am not interested in you at all.

[B]

Oh. When the drinks wore off, I was like, yeah.

[A]

This episode is sponsored by Instacart. You have a lot of places to be this summer. Getting a good base tan at the beach, the summer wedding circuit, even a spontaneous backyard barbecue here and there. The last place you want to be is inside a grocery store. Thanks to Instacart, you can let your shopper hit the aisles while you focus on what matters. Set your preferences in the app once and your shopper knows exactly what to grab. Your preferred brands, organic options, or specific produce choices so you can get quality without any sacrifices. Get your weekly essentials, snacks and even last minute party essentials delivered in as little as 30 minutes. And say yes to whatever impromptu plans come your way. I love Instacart. As I've said on this episode and other episodes, I have no free time anymore and the last place I want to spend any of my day is inside one or multiple grocery stores to get all the stuff I need for my family. So I love Instacart. I love that you can talk in real time with a shopper and that I do not have to actually do this thing because I don't have time to grocery shop anymore. So Instacart can do it for me. The convenience and speed cannot be beat. With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite stores and have quality groceries and household essentials carefully selected and ready for pickup or delivered to your door in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart helps take care of delivering the things you need with the quality you deserve so that you're free to take care of life. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your doors. You can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like. I have always historically been a jeans and a T shirt girl. There's nothing that I love more than a good quality. Just like white tea that makes me look good and is really comfortable and skims has got this down. I have their cotton rib T shirt in. I think the color is called marble. It's a beautiful kind of like off white. I wore it on the show, I think maybe last week so you can see it on me in last week's episode. It does everything for me. I love an outfit you don't have to think about that you know is going to look good, that you know is going to make all of your different parts stand out, look great. Be comfortable. Skims has just got this unlock. They know what they're doing and every time I put on one of their T shirts and I have several, I have them in all the different colors. I have them in soot, which is basically like their black color. I have it in white. I there's one for every occasion and for me that's really all I need for the summer because I just like to keep it simple. I like to know I'm what I'm putting on is going to look good. I don't have time to do a million outfit changes. Jeans and a T shirt, that's it for me. And Skims is my go to for that. You could always trust them for that. Honestly, there's nothing more versatile than Skims cotton, jersey, T shirt. They have a high quality product. It looks good, it hugs you in the right places.

[B]

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[B]

Let's do another email. You ready?

[A]

All right, let's do another one.

[B]

J&J longtime listener, subscriber, not first time writer, laughing face emoji. I want some perspective and advice on a situation I found myself in a few times lately that is really starting to get me more than ever before. I'm 29 and single and I'm in the thick of wedding season of life. I've been going to a couple of weddings a year regularly for the last three years and I've been single the whole time in the past. It's never really given me those wedding blues or jealousy that a lot of people experience when going to weddings. Lately though, I feel that's changed because I've noticed that a lot of the weddings I'm going to, I'm the only one single in my friend group there. For example, a couple weeks ago I was at this amazing wedding in the Hamptons with all my high school friends and it was just me and my one girlfriend who was who has a boyfriend that couldn't come and then everyone else was in a couple. Next weekend I'm going to Chicago for a college friend's wedding. And it's the same situation, me and one single friend, with all our best friends and their boyfriends. Honestly, I found myself at a point where I'm feeling really unexcited, a little bitter about tagging along in these couple centric environments and feeling jealous that all of my friends are getting to introduce their boyfriends and have these really fun experiences all together as a group, while me and one friend just kind of lurk as the single ones. And it's not even the fun type of single where we get to hook up with random guys at these weddings or flirt with people, because literally almost everyone else there is in a relationship, and it's so rare that there's anyone to mingle with that isn't already in a couple in general. I feel like I'm getting to the point in life where almost all of my friends are in relationships now, and I feel like I blinked in the boat. Left without me. I'm not really sure how to stop feeling left out. And, like, I'm missing all these fun bonding milestones with people I love where I don't have someone by my side experiencing these things as a unit. Do you guys have any advice for how to keep perspective or a positive spin on these situations where I'm just feeling really left out and kind of pessimistic about being alone during all these really fun memories and opportunities to bond with my friends? I'm trying to not be a buzzkill, but it's getting harder and harder. Signed not even at the singles table because I'm ninth wheeling the couple's table. Jordana, what do we think?

[A]

I'd like to validate this feeling. I think to start off, I think that's like. I mean, we just talked about this on benefits. There is, like, a thing with women where it does feel like. It feels like better to feel like you're doing something with your friends. Like, everyone is in this stage, and I'm experiencing this stage parallel to you. I think that there is, like, a sense of comfort in that, and there's a sense. I think there's this feeling of being left behind in the relationship area for a lot of women when they're towards the end of the. Of the group of people getting these things, whether it's getting married or having kids. I mean, I've talked about my own feeling around that, too. We just talked about how that sort of can be like a. A thing that it feels less lonely to both go through together and to not go through with someone. So I could Totally validate having this feeling. My advice to her is to find more single friends.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because she's 29. Yeah, they're out there. They're out there. And I think I could, I do think that, like, being around people who are in a totally different life stage than you, when you want to be in that stage constantly, I mean, I think there's ways to improve your attitude. But I think hanging out with people who are in the stage, same stage of life as you, is like, key to feeling really good about yourself and really good about your life.

[B]

What does she do about the weddings, though?

[A]

Though okay. Or like, that's nice, but.

[B]

No, but I, I agree with you. She's gota, she's got to open up her world a little bit more. Otherwise, like, And I think that will make her feel, you know, she'll have a group to go out with and she'll have people that are in the same space as her and won't feel as weird, you know, to be single, especially if everyone else is moving on to the next step.

[A]

I also think she'll feel more, she'll feel more refreshed at these weddings. Like, she won't feel as, like, this is my whole life at these weddings, because it can feel that way. I'm sure when you're at these weddings and like, everyone is, is coupled and you're kind of like the, feel like the odd sad person out and she's wondering if people almost feel bad for her. She feels left out of, like, you know, the coupley things that couples do. And so I think that if she had more experiences outside of these weddings where she was going out and having fun. And she says it's not even like she sounds like she's down to have fun. She said this is not even the kind of weddings where you can, like, hook up with, like, the other single guys there. Like, I'm the only single person there at all. I think if she's having more of those experiences where she's reaping, like, the benefits of being in a single life, she'll feel less like this. Like her whole life is being behind.

[B]

Listen, I, I, I, I agree with what you're saying. I think the, the one thing I read from this email that felt foreign to me, that we've talked about here and on benefits we talked about it is the I'm falling behind my friends, I'm falling behind the group. And I read this email to Emily because I was like, wanted to hear how she felt. She was passionate. She was like, it Sucks. Like, yeah, she. And.

[A]

And I felt that way, too, you know, younger than this person.

[B]

Totally. And so I want to make sure she feels validated like you did, because I agree every. Everything she says is correct. Yeah, it sucks to go to a wedding alone and be around all these couples, and everyone's talking about love and how these people met and the romantic thing and they're having fun, and you're. You know, you're the one person, and then they go, there's no other singles here. And you're right. You're right. You're right. Now, there's a lot of podcasts that are very successful at just telling women how right they are and then telling them that the world sucks, but offer no solutions. You know? Like, I. I think the power of this podcast is, you know, that we get to, you know, that we kind of delve into, like, let's get creative here. I asked Emily what's the most fun she had at a wedding where she was single. I was like, what's the best one you ever went to?

[A]

Well, it's probably one where she met a guy she's not gonna tell you about.

[D]

I.

[B]

Him underneath the. The. The chapel. It was the most unbelievable night of my life.

[C]

What?

[B]

Really? Yeah.

[A]

What's the second most fun wedding where

[B]

you didn't hook up? That was fun?

[A]

The.

[B]

She said that the one where she was a bridesmaid, where she was actually, like. And that she was. She did the. The. She, like, was the. The justice of the peace, the person that she ran the wedding.

[A]

She officiated. Officiated?

[B]

Yeah, she officiated her friend's wedding and, like, crushed in a way where. I've heard about this from, like, everyone in her life. Like, everyone said it was, like, the most unbelievable, touching, great wedding they'd ever been to. Like, and I've heard about it from other people. Like, it wasn't just, like, Emily telling me how great she was. And so my takeaway from that, because I like to listen. I listen to women. I'm a hero. Is being busy is a good way. Well, first of all, everything she said to us in an email, she's right. Now, never say it again. Okay? No one gets it out. Yeah, you get it out. You're right. You've been agreed with. Everyone's in a relationship. It sucks to go to a wedding alone. Now shut the fuck up and stop telling people that because you are a buzzkill. You can write it to us. And I'm happy you did, but. So being busy at a wedding is really good. And I think that also means dancing and being the firecracker that may. And, and how do you dance at a wedding? Even if you're uncomfortable doing it, which I am. I am uncomfortable dancing at a wedding. I don't think it's like the most fun. But anytime I've tried to dance at a wedding, I wish I knew the words to a song because I think it's easier to lose yourself on the dance floor if you know the words and you can scream them out. So I would go to chat GPT and I would say, make a playlist of the most popular 2026 dance songs. And then I would listen to that playlist on repeat leading into the wedding that you're going to so that you know the words a little bit and you can jump on the dance floor and sing along and kind of get lost in yourself because that person who's out of the. And I would never. I. The only time I'd sit is during the speeches. I wouldn't sit the whole night. And I would prepare for this four hour wedding as if it was my dance party and I'm gonna go have fun. Then I would go to the cocktail hour and I would talk to everyone because that's like college orientation. You all are in the same spot. You're not going to meet anyone during the dance party. You have to go to the cocktail hour wanting to meet people. Hey, what brought you here? Who do you know? Those are all great and easy questions. It's like when we say dating in college must be so easy because you all have the same classrooms and what's your major? You have things in common. You have things in common. So treat the the treat. Get the wedding playlist. 10 songs that are played at every wedding. Learn the words. Go to the cocktail pile.

[A]

Homework assignment here.

[B]

This is a homework assignment.

[A]

Eat all of the. All of the oysters.

[B]

Eat all the oysters.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Go talk to people at the cocktail party. Where are you from? How do you know the couple? And then get on the dance floor and dance and, you know, go to your friends whose boyfriends are bumps on a log. Grab their hand when they're sitting, grab them up to dance with you. Scream the words out. Ha. And have as much fun as possible because you're going to get through this. And I will say this. We talked on the podcast about when I, you know, went out with Emily again and we. Part of how we got back together is that I mentioned that I saw a post from her on social media. Do you remember? I I. And we kept it in the episode.

[A]

She looked.

[B]

She looked happy. The video I remember most is her dancing alone at a wedding. That's the. That's the video I remember most. So there is something to that. There has to be.

[A]

I would agree with that. I think. I don't know if you have to memorize the lyrics to songs, but if you want to. If you want to go listen to

[B]

10 on repeat, I. I think when I can say the words, I feel more comfortable dancing alone.

[A]

Sure. Yes. I would say that's great advice. I would. If you need to, like, put yourself in a position of fake it till you make it. I would imagine when you go to these weddings, you already have a boyfriend. Your boyfriend can't make it to the wedding. How do you act? Like, pretend you're in a different scenario. Because I agree you're going as, like, single girl who's, like, upset that she's single, feeling jealous of all the happy couples. That's not a good vibe. But imagine you were going to this wedding solo, already in a relationship. How would you act? How would you enjoy yourself?

[B]

Right. And. And go dance? I. I just think it's. It's hard with a question like this because it's like saying, like, that couple will break up. Well, you'll probably be right one day. Or no one will say you're wrong. No one's ever going to go to someone who's negative and tell them they're wrong, because they're never going to be wrong.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, someone could come to me and go, I learned all the words to shout and I didn't get a boyfriend and I hated the wedding. And I go, well, sorry. Sorry I made you do something fun.

[A]

Well, yeah. And I. I do think that the advice to go out and have a life surrounded by people in the same life stage of her as her. I do think that actually is helpful. Like, it doesn't sound like something you would need to do. And maybe I think it's harder for men to, like, get in that headspace. But I do think you feel better and, like, you can enjoy the life you currently have more. When you're doing a lot of fun things, like, with those people in that stage, it makes you feel like you have more of a community because she. This is like a community that she feels left out of the coupled people. She doesn't feel like part of that community.

[B]

Well, at least she would also have the community to fall back on, you know? Now this would be like going to the alien planet of relationship Ville. And it'll be a fun night as opposed to this is the world I live in where I'm the alien.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You know, and I think like cuz I can go to my single friends, you know, next week I'll be out with my single friends. So this week I get to play Friday night.

[A]

Friday night you're at the bar with your single friend, flirting with a guy and having a good time. Then the next day is Saturday. You've got this wedding.

[B]

Right. It's two different hangs.

[A]

That Right. But that. Yeah, but it feels like the wedding. If all. If your whole life is wet is coupled wedding every weekend and you have and you're doing nothing in the single world. Yeah. You're gonna feel like left out of it. I mean I've said moving to the suburbs without kids. I moved to the suburbs without kids and it was struggling to have kids being I. I wasn't like particularly fun to go to. Like a little birth, a kid's birthday. I'm like, I don't really have much to.

[B]

What am I gonna talk about?

[A]

Do I have much to do here? It's like much more. I would try to hang out with my other friends who had no kids. It would make me feel like again I could enjoy the, the perks of not having kids and I could be around other people who were in the same stage as me. And it did feel better. I don't think men need to do that as much.

[B]

No. Or maybe we'd be better off if we did. But that's. I mean, that's part of the loneliness thing. You know, you go. You know that when you go out in the West Village on a Thursday night, Go look at every table. Women, women, women, women, women hanging out. Good luck. Remember, don't say this stuff out loud. You sound miserable. But we agree with you.

[A]

Yes, you've said it here, you're validated now.

[D]

Shh.

[B]

Easy there, misery. Easy there. All right, so we had our fun.

[D]

We did it.

[B]

We solved dating again.

[A]

We'll be back next week. Bye.

[C]

Boom.

[D]

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