U Up? Podcast Summary

Episode Title: How Your Dating Profile Is Keeping You Single
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Release Date: March 5, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jordana and Jared dive into why your dating profile, prompts, and app behavior might be the very reasons you’re still single. They share their takes from both genders' perspectives on what makes a profile stand out (or flop), breakdown the psychology behind app interactions, and answer listener emails about dating dilemmas ranging from “meet-cutes” to situationships, texting dynamics, and the dangers of putting minimal effort in your dating app persona.

The hosts blend their trademark humor and candor, unpacking topics around effort, vulnerability, the desire to be pursued, and classic dating confusion—giving practical, honest advice to help listeners navigate modern love.

Dating Apps: Are You Selling Yourself Short?

[12:34–19:10]

• Jared’s App Experience: Describes matching with someone who left their prompts blank, explaining men’s typical rapid-fire swiping approach.
  • “If you want to know how men are swiping, they're swiping differently than you.” — Jared [12:57]
• Importance of Prompts: Both hosts agree that completely blank profiles suggest the person isn’t actually invested in meeting someone.
  • “As someone who … hasn't written a prompt or bio, that is someone who doesn't want to be there. They're putting the minimal amount in.” — Jordana [14:52]
• What Makes a Good Prompt?
  • Light, personal, and a bit vulnerable
  • Prompts should make it easy to start a conversation, not just show off
  • “You're giving someone a chance to answer you in a fun way. It's not about you sounding fun to them. It's about them seeing what you wrote and writing to you.” — Jared [15:18]
• Photos & First Impressions
  • Photos that are too revealing might attract the wrong kind of attention; profiles should reflect the kind of relationship you seek
  • Pro Tip: Cheating the “half-second swipe” with revealing pictures brings more attention, but not necessarily quality matches

The Pursuit Dilemma: Who Should Make an Effort?

[16:43–23:42]

• Desire to Be Pursued vs. App Realities
  • Many women want to be pursued but resist putting energy into apps, expecting men to work harder
  • Jared: Pursuit is good—but you need to engage with the format to get results
    • “If you want it to be exactly like it would be in person, you need to get off the app.” — Jordana [18:33]
    • “You're still on a dating app...if it's not going to work out exactly how you want it to work out in person, don't be miserable here.” — Jared [18:21]
• The Dangers of Half-Effort
  • Half-done profiles and “playing it cool” strategies lead to frustration and missed connections

Texting, Tone, and Awkward Dynamics

[20:06–24:00]

• Awkward Texting Explained: The hosts discuss how mismatched energy or unclear intentions can sabotage early-stage relationships.
  • “What I don't like to hear is ‘I'm a bad texter.’ We are a bad texter.” — Jared [20:34]
• The Golden Rule: A bad texting dynamic is rarely about technology, and more about lack of investment or honesty
  • If someone is genuinely busy, they’ll explain; if they don’t, ambiguity is a red flag
  • “Not texting is not a bad texter. It's not acknowledging what's going on in the texting.” — Jared [21:54]
• Match the Effort: Deliberately vague or cold responses are usually pride or ego-driven, and signal unbalanced interest

Key Listener Email: “Is This a Real-Life Meet Cute?”

[28:18–39:48]

Situation: Listener meets a woman by chance (she mistakes him for a blind date). He tracks her down via LinkedIn/Instagram. Should he reach out?

• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Reach out, but over-explain how you found her — transparency is key to avoid coming off as a creep
    • “He has to act like he is an accused predator...Just understand you are a predator and you are, you know, start with fear...admit to everything.” — Jared [35:15]
  • Be explicit, concise, respectful, and one-and-done (no follow-ups if unanswered)
  • If she’s interested, she won’t be creeped out—what matters is attraction and context

Notable Quote:
“Creepy is only attraction away.” — Jared [34:49]

Are We Dating? Situationships & Labels

[43:34–57:56]

• Listener Email: Summer situationship with ongoing trips; “Are we dating?”
  • Hosts’ Analysis: No—if you’re always meeting on his terms (vacation, trips, never in his “real life”), you’re not dating.
    • “She is full alleyway cat. She's an alley cat.” — Jared, on the difference between “main street” and “alleyway” relationships [48:33]
  • Advice: Stop “tasting all the flavors”—set a boundary: “I want a real relationship or I can’t keep doing trips.”
    • “You've tasted all the flavors you can taste at the ice cream shop.” — Jared [52:36]
  • Reveal how you feel and require a commitment for things to continue—otherwise, the cycle will not change

Is “I’m Confused” Code for “I’m Turned Off”?

[58:14–71:58]

• Listener Email: After an amazing first date and subsequent lackluster communication, is she being back-burnered?
  • Hosts’ Take: She’s not imagining things—if you feel let down by someone’s effort, honor your disappointment
  • One thoughtful reschedule is fine, but perpetual lack of momentum is a sign they’re not as invested
  • Practical Strategy: Next date, see if the spark remains, then invite him to a group hang to create “momentum.” If he resists, you have your answer

Notable Quote:
“It's okay to be like, I'm a little turned off by this. But we'll see what happens Wednesday, right?” — Jared [66:24]

Quick Bits, Memorable Quotes & Reddit-Style Game Segments

On Finding People via LinkedIn

“LinkedIn is the greatest database of people you're trying to go on dates with.” — Jared [33:38]

On Half-Hearted App Participation

“It's almost worse to be on [dating apps], half doing.” — Jordana [19:09]

On Dealing with Red Flag Profiles

• “If this person's hot, we'll push through and see what happens. If I'm attracted—I’m more ...” — Jared, on dating profile deal breakers [86:06]

On Red Flag/Deal Breaker Scenarios

[74:13–86:41]

• If someone double-questions your response time (“???”) on the app — hosts agree: deal breaker
• If a man keeps a “piss pot” by the bed to avoid walking to the bathroom — deal breaker, both laugh at its absurdity [81:20]
• If someone’s dating app prompt says “You should NOT leave a comment if you’re a vegetarian” — red flag, unnecessarily negative wording

Tone & Atmosphere

The episode features classic U Up? banter—playful, candid, occasionally irreverent but always practical. The hosts draw from their own experiences and listener stories, balancing empathy for modern dating frustrations with no-nonsense, actionable advice.

• Jared’s take: Offers the male dating psychology and calls out commonly ignored truths, never afraid to be blunt or self-deprecating.
• Jordana’s take: Brings the thoughtful, empathetic, and often strategic female perspective, keeping advice grounded and realistic.

Episode Takeaways

• Dating App Success Is About Effort: If your prompts or bio are blank, you’re signaling you’re not truly present—it’s better to be off apps than “just pictures.”
• Show, Don’t Tell: Good prompts are light, personal, and vulnerable—invite conversation, don’t just list facts.
• Don’t Play It Too Cool: Being “pursued” is fine to want, but you need to play the game to some degree; minimal effort yields minimal results.
• Transparency Wins: When reaching out after a chance meeting, lay all the cards on the table—be explicit with context.
• Situationships vs. Dating: If you’re never integrated into real life, always traveling or hiding, you’re not dating. Set boundaries and require commitment for escalation.
• Text Matching Is Real: If communication feels off, inconsistent, or unbalanced, it’s okay to move on; matching energy matters.
• Red Flags in Prompts & Behavior: Overt negativity or impatience on apps is a sure sign of a mismatch—don’t ignore your instincts.

Memorable Moments & Quotes

• [16:33] “She wants you to do a lot of work.” — Jordana, about women leaving prompts blank but expecting pursuit
• [22:40] “If one person's exclamation point and emojis and like giving you a little bit of, doing a little dance … are you going to match that energy or not?” — Jared
• [35:15] “He has to act like he is an accused predator … admit to everything.” — Jared, on how to properly DM a “meet-cute” woman you found online
• [52:36] “You've tasted all the flavors you can taste at the ice cream shop.” — Jared
• [86:41] “You've chosen negativity over positivity.” — Jordana, about negative app prompts

Final Thoughts

Don’t underestimate how much your dating app effort and profile energy reflect your genuine readiness. If you want to be pursued, show up and invite it. If you crave a relationship, insist on being someone’s “main street,” not their “alleyway.” And—when in doubt—never ignore the energy mismatch in text or real life. The right person will meet you where you are.