U Up? – "Is Christmas A Relationship Test?"

Betches Media | Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Released: December 24, 2025

Episode Overview

This festive episode of U Up? tackles how Christmas acts as a relationship test, holiday dynamics with family and partners, navigating significant “meet the parents” milestones, and the emotions and quirks surrounding holiday gift-giving in dating. Hosts Jordana and Jared blend humor and honesty as they respond to listener emails and play their signature relationship games with a holiday twist.

Episode Highlights & Key Discussion Points

1. Christmas Costumes & Holiday Spirits

• [00:53-04:28]:
  • Jordana and Jared, dressed as Santa and his elf for the YouTube version, poke fun at their costumes:
    • “This is Delray Beach Santa. Delray Daddy Santa. Midlife crisis Santa.” (Jared, 00:41)
  • Banter about Jared’s chest hair, waxing habits, and Christmas erotica traditions.
  • Jordana considers bringing her costume to her in-laws’ Christmas:
    • “Anything that gets you into the spirit…they love that.” (Jordana, 04:08)

2. Jared’s Book & Comedy Tour

• [04:28-08:13]:
  • Jared plugs his upcoming book "Walking Red Flags" and his comedy tour stops, reflecting on how friends and “the baby” (A friend? Inside joke) previewed his book and gave feedback.
  • “The baby made it. I’m sorry Joe and V, you guys didn’t make it!” (Jared, talking about his book dedication, 07:07)

3. Gym Routines and Taking Risks in Dating

• [08:13-12:58]:
  • Jared recounts debating whether to talk to a woman at Barry’s Bootcamp after seeing her take selfies, and how hesitation in such moments can reflect broader dating anxieties:
    • “Do I say something? Do I take that chance? …I know how this is gonna go, and I’m too cynical to almost get into it.” (Jared, 11:37)
  • He relates this to a single friend who only hooks up with former partners because “I’ve seen how the movie plays out. I don’t want to go through that again.” (Jared paraphrasing friend, 10:50)
  • Both hosts reflect on how cynicism or fear of pain stops people from pursuing new connections, especially as they grow older.

4. The Pressure of Holiday Relationship Milestones

• [22:16-32:46]:
  • First listener email: Woman dating boyfriend for 2 years but they’ve barely done a formal “meet the parents”; she’s anxious about inviting him to her family’s Christmas Eve “the one” rule.
  • Discussion about timeline/milestones for meeting family:
    • “Two years [with no family meeting] is a lot.” (Jordana, 24:28)
    • “A serious relationship is one where you’re integrated into each other’s lives. It’s not ‘what am I doing for Christmas this year’—it’s ‘what are we doing for Christmas?’” (Jordana, 28:09)
  • Jared calls out “outsourcing” relationship decisions to parental expectations rather than advocating for your own desires:
    • “At some point you have to admit, ‘I like you enough to invite you to my family thing.’” (Jared, 29:20)
  • They advise having a direct conversation and note that holidays often act as pop quizzes for relationships.

5. Petty or Prudent: The Ornament Dilemma

• [35:01-45:14]:
  • Listener broke up with her boyfriend of six years 11 months ago; wants her sentimental Christmas ornaments back.
  • Jordana and Jared agree it’s prudent, not petty, to reach out for truly sentimental items even after time has passed—but advise making the request as convenient as possible for the ex.
    • “If it’s so sentimental, as she describes it, then this person she’s reaching out to knows that... So she has a bar.” (Jared, 40:48)
    • Sample script is suggested for the ask, emphasizing clarity and logistics over emotional ambiguity.

6. The Book Gift from the Guy Best Friend

• [46:28-57:54]:
  • 25-year-old listener receives a rare, meaningful copy of The Great Gatsby from her male best friend (“L”) of nearly 20 years; her boyfriend finds the expensive and sentimental gift inappropriate, sparking debate.
  • Both hosts agree: This signals the friend is probably in love with her, and ignoring that aspect is a form of denial.
    • “To men, it’s so obvious… this is his line in the sand.” (Jared, 50:03)
    • “Not acknowledging it is [attention-seeking]. Not being like ‘no, this is weird,’… that’s humility.” (Jared, 54:46)
  • They discuss the complexities of “friend zone” friendships, male-female dynamics, and how to be honest with a partner about possible hidden feelings in such friendships.

7. Red Flag or Deal Breaker: Mocking Holiday Enthusiasm

• [62:04-69:55]:
  • Listener describes a holiday story: A man abruptly ends a date when his companion mocks his cheer about Christmas (doing a voice). Is it a red flag or deal breaker to have someone mock your enthusiasm for something you care about?
    • “I would say mocking someone would be a very clear deal breaker, especially on a first date. It’s like you’re making fun of someone’s enthusiasm.” (Jordana, 67:13)
    • Both agree that playful teasing is different from thoughtless or mean-spirited mocking.

8. Red Flag or Cultural Quirk: The $5 Christmas Gift

• [70:02-74:09]:
  • Email from a Swiss listener marrying into a Dutch family with strict, quirky Christmas rules (max $5 gifts, mandatory poems). Is her husband’s $10 bottle of olive oil in a heart bottle (with a poem) okay?
  • Hosts see this as harmless and “a green flag”—a thoughtful, creative tradition:
    • “To me, any traditional, thoughtful thing that a family does, I think that’s the coolest.” (Jared, 74:08)

9. Santa Belief at Age 21?

• [75:16-79:53]:
  • 23-year-old man writes: Is it weird or a deal breaker if his 21-year-old girlfriend repeatedly refers to “Santa got me” re: her Christmas gifts, appearing to genuinely believe in Santa?
  • While both hosts suspect she’s being cutesy/childlike, they’d find it odd if it’s not self-aware:
    • “It’s weird. …You don’t need an innocent, nice woman. You need a woman who can match you mentally, physically, erotically.” (Jared, 79:53)
  • They compare it to adults using “mommy/daddy” as terms—cringe unless self-aware or in proper context.

10. Holiday Family Traditions

• [74:13-86:45]:
  • Jordana and Jared wrap up with musings on Hanukkah vs. Christmas, family rituals, and the pressures of making holidays fun for future kids.
  • “Jewish holidays… There’s no good part of our holidays for a child.” (Jared, 86:18)
  • Jon Stewart’s comedy about Jewish families competing with Christmas is referenced.

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “Two years, not meeting the family. How do you feel about that?” (Jared, 23:54)
• “A me has to become a we at some point.” (Jared, 28:31)
• “Beware of holidays, bar mitzvahs, family occasions, global pandemics. All these things are forced pop quizzes of what this thing is.” (Jared, 27:33)
• “I think like, if your family’s input matters at all, wouldn’t you want it a lot earlier than ‘I’ve already decided I’m gonna marry this person’?” (Jordana, 25:13)
• “If it’s so sentimental as she describes it, then this person… knows that.” (Jared, 40:48)
• “Not acknowledging it is [attention-seeking]. Not being like, ‘No, this is weird’—that’s humility.” (Jared, 54:46)
• “I would never return the favor with something as meaningful or expensive as this for this person.” (Jordana, 58:53)
• “Mocking someone would be a very clear deal breaker, especially on a first date… You’re making fun of someone’s enthusiasm.” (Jordana, 67:13)
• “Santa got me a bunch of gifts this year. I don’t know what I’m gonna have to return to the North Pole.” (Jared, 78:40)
• “Jewish holidays… There’s no good part of our holidays for a child.” (Jared, 86:18)

Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:53–04:28 – Holiday costumes, chest hair, family holiday costumes banter
• 04:28–08:13 – Jared’s book tour, pre-orders, friend’s reading habits
• 08:13–12:58 – Barry’s Bootcamp, hesitation in flirting, analogy to dating risk-aversion
• 22:16–32:46 – Main listener email: Christmas as relationship milestone, “meet the parents” timeline, integration
• 35:01–45:14 – Petty or Prudent: Sentimental ornaments post-breakup
• 46:28–57:54 – Best friend’s vintage book gift, boyfriend jealousy, handling “the friend zone”
• 62:04–69:55 – Red flag/deal breaker: mocking holiday cheer on a date
• 70:02–74:09 – Dutch Christmas: $5 gifts, poems, harmless cultural quirks
• 75:16–79:53 – Santa at 21, childishness and deal breaker status
• 74:13–86:45 – Hanukkah vs. Christmas traditions, family rituals

Episode Tone

Lighthearted, irreverent, and honest, with plenty of self-deprecating humor, direct advice, and insight into the social rituals and minefields that surround modern dating—especially magnified around the holidays.

Perfect For…

• Listeners navigating holiday anxiety with partners
• Those wondering about relationship milestones or “tests” during the holidays
• Anyone dealing with exes and the politics of sentimental keepsakes
• People suspecting “friend zone” dynamics and secret crushes

Summary prepared for listeners seeking the best of relationship insight and holiday laughs, without having to relive every family dinner themselves.