Is Selena Gomez “Shrekking”?

Summary

U Up? — “Is Selena Gomez ‘Shrekking’?”

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Podcast Date: September 26, 2025

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Episode Overview

This Friday Feels episode dives into the new dating trend “Shrekking,” which refers to dating someone perceived as “less attractive” or “dating down,” and discusses how this is being talked about in pop culture—most notably using Selena Gomez’s relationship as an example. The hosts unpack the implications of “Shrekking” on modern dating, explore the emotions around being single vs. “very single,” and answer listener emails about wedding plus-ones and the delicate art of telling a friend they have a smelly dog.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Friday Feels & The Spectrum of Singleness

Timestamps: 01:37–08:47

• Hosts’ Personal Updates: Jared reflects on being “as single as I’ve ever been” (03:29). He and Jordana distinguish between being “single” (maybe talking to someone) and “very single” (no prospects whatsoever).
• Emotional Complexity: Jared shares, “You feel free, but you have nobody... there’s no anxiety but there’s nobody texting you…waking up to zero red notifications, you’re like, wow.” (04:27)
• Relatability: Jordana pushes for a dating goal for Jared, suggesting reaching out to more people. Jared expresses the exhaustion and inertia that singles can feel about dating:

  “Pursuing that is like… when you wake up in the morning and you have a big day ahead… that deep breath before you get out of bed? That’s what dating feels like to me right now.” (07:55)

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2. What Does “Shrekking” Mean & Where Did It Come From?

Timestamps: 08:47–15:39

• Introduction to ‘Shrekking’:
  • Jordana explains: “Shrekking is the new dating slang for dating down or settling for someone less attractive... comes from the movie Shrek where Princess Fiona ends up with an ogre.” (11:09)
• Pop Culture Example:
  • Jared brings up Selena Gomez and her boyfriend Benny Blanco as an example:

    “I saw Selena Gomez on the red carpet last night... No one looks more like her labubu than Benny… it looks like he’s trying to look like there’s a point where—he just… there’s a point.” (09:56)

• Why the Term Resonates:
  • The hosts reflect on how “Shrekking” is used retroactively, often when someone is hurt post-breakup, believing the less-conventionally-attractive partner would treat them better.
  • Jared points out the gendered dynamic: “Only women can do this… no man goes on a date that his penis doesn’t allow him to go on.” (11:36)
• ‘Ugly Hot’ & Charm:
  • Jordana on redefining attractiveness: “We used to call this… ugly hot. When you would date someone who was not conventionally attractive but there was a certain something where they were hot.” (12:37)
  • Jared further adds: “Charm and hotness can just be exuded by someone who isn’t conventionally hot… this guy, Benny Blanco, he’s ugly hot… he has a talent that no one has.” (12:51)
• Risks and Realities:
  • Both discuss the assumption that a less attractive partner will be more loyal; Jordana notes: “The less attractive men are not always obsessed, maybe sometimes less obsessed than the more attractive men.” (14:19)
  • Jared sums up the futility: “You can’t win if you try to win.” (15:39)

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3. The ‘Shrekking’ Double Standard & Petty/Prudent

Timestamps: 15:45–23:52

• Gendered Double Standards:
  • Jared: “This is a way… of insulting men to their face in a fun way that we can all have fun with. We’re all shrekking… Oh, look at all these ugly men.” (11:51)
  • The hosts joke about how, if men used the same language, it would be considered offensive rather than lighthearted conversation.
• Petty or Prudent?
  • Jordana and Jared debate whether calling someone a ‘Shrek’ after a breakup is petty or fair game:

    “This is petty—to call someone a Shrek after they’ve broken up with you.” – Jordana (22:23) “He’s going around being like, look at this hot chick I used to date. And you’re the one going, I can’t believe how ugly that guy was. You know? Okay, who cares?” – Jared (22:38)

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4. Listener Email #1: The Plus-One Dilemma

Timestamps: 24:02–32:22

• The Situation:
  • Listener feels slighted for not receiving a plus-one invitation to her best guy friend’s wedding, especially since her brother and parents were both invited with plus-ones.
• Hosts’ Thoughts:
  • Jared feels asking for a plus-one shows insecurity unless you know no one at the wedding:

    “When someone needs a plus one at a wedding, to me, it shows weakness… shows they’re not really okay with being on their own.” (25:56)

  • Jordana distinguishes between obscure friends at weddings (where a buddy may be useful) and being close friends (where mingling is natural).
  • Conclusion:

    “It was petty the way she did it—she didn’t ask, just stated she was bringing a plus one. Ask with vulnerability.” (28:22)

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5. Listener Email #2: The Friend with the Smelly Dog

Timestamps: 35:47–49:57

• The Issue:
  • A listener’s friend, who deeply loves her dog, doesn’t realize both she and her space smell so strongly of musty dog that it’s making others uncomfortable.
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Jordana: “I think she’s got to tell her. That’s how you tell a real friend from a very good friend—a very good friend will tell you that you smell like.” (43:20)
  • Jared roleplays how to tactfully break the news, suggesting “zone in on the dog” rather than making it too personal:

    “There’s a little bit of a stench… I’m telling you because I’d want someone to tell me. You get nose-blind to your own house.” (45:57)

  • Emphasize kindness, don’t connect smell to her love life, and offer practical help if possible.

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6. Aging, Appearance, and Honesty Pacts

Timestamps: 49:51–53:28

• Botox & Honesty:
  • The hosts riff on having pacts with friends to point out things like overdone Botox or smelling bad, using humor and “safe words” (e.g., “Quack, quack” for too much Botox) to encourage honesty.
  • Both acknowledge that social media and constant photos make everyone hyperaware of their looks.

    “There are more pictures at more angles taken of me than most men get… so I have to be put face to face with what I look like all the time.” — Jared (52:32)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Very single is like, no prospects, nobody.” — Jared (04:09)
• “You feel free, but you have nobody… waking up to zero red notifications, you’re like, wow.” — Jared (04:27)
• “Shrekking is the new dating slang for dating down or settling for someone less attractive… from the movie Shrek where Princess Fiona ends up with an ogre.” — Jordana (11:09)
• “Only women can do this… no man goes on a date that his penis doesn't allow him to go on.” — Jared (11:36)
• “We used to call this… ugly hot.” — Jordana (12:37)
• “You can't win if you try to win.” — Jared (15:39)
• “I think she's got to tell her. That’s how you tell a real friend from a very good friend—a very good friend will tell you that you smell.” — Jordana (43:20)
• “If we smell, we tell each other.” — Jordana (49:57)

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Summary Table: Important Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp | |----------------------------------------------------|-------------| | Friday Feels & Singleness Discussion | 01:37–08:47 | | The Concept of ‘Shrekking’ | 08:47–15:39 | | Petty vs. Prudent: Using ‘Shrek’ as an Insult | 15:45–23:52 | | Wedding Plus-One Dilemma | 24:02–32:22 | | The Smelly Dog Situation & How to Handle It | 35:47–49:57 | | Botox, Pacts, and Modern Appearance Pressure | 49:51–53:28 |

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Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is witty, candid, and self-deprecating as Jordana and Jared alternate between pop culture takes and deeply relatable dating commentary. They challenge listeners to communicate more honestly—whether about romantic ambitions or awkward personal hygiene. The “Shrekking” discussion highlights the constantly shifting, sometimes double-standard-driven ways we judge dating choices, and the importance (and impossibility) of finding perfect logic in love.

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For more dating insights with humor and honesty, check out @u.up.podcast on Instagram and watch full episodes on YouTube.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Let'S do this. I got my coffee. It feels like it is. It's a batch club. It feels like it is 7 o' clock at night.

[A]

It does.

[B]

What time do you wake up?

[A]

7.

[B]

7Am yes. Alarm or no alarm?

[A]

Ron's the alarm.

[B]

Ron's the alarm.

[A]

Yes. He starts making this sound.

[B]

Death.

[A]

Unreal alarm. Mike is the alarm before him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hello and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the U Up podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How you feeling on a Friday?

[A]

I'm feeling feeling good. It is around. We're in fall.

[B]

So I got back to the city Sunday, watched football. People were out.

[A]

It's your happy season.

[B]

It is my happy season. And then Monday morning, this morning I went and I went to a Barry's boot camp class. On the way there, it was like woman going to work. I mean, it's fashion week here.

[A]

That was last week.

[B]

I thought, well, it's my fashion week. This week it was New York City is a Runway. The women are dressing. I was like, I hurt my neck. I'm looking this way, I'm looking that way. Women be dressing. It was hot. I got the looks.

[A]

Wow, you're beginning to sound like my dad.

[B]

You age into creepy. Yeah, you really do. I felt it as I said it. This whole room got weird.

[A]

No. I remember being like, dad, share this with someone else. He would say that same thing about the woman in New York. He'd be like. They'd walk past. I'd be like, turning my head, like, women here. I'd be like, dad, shut up. There's, like, where you're all. All your daughters don't care. This is, like, the wrong audience.

[B]

Give him my number. He can call me.

[A]

Text you.

[B]

Yeah, I saw there was one. I fell in love, like, six times this morning. Just like.

[A]

Do you ask anyone out?

[B]

No. And I always think, like, maybe they'll see me looking at them.

[A]

You should. You don't even live here. You could just run out of town if they say no.

[B]

No goodbye. Like, with the big. Like the Flintstones.

[A]

Yeah. You've got game. You should try it. You're trying to, like, approach more people.

[B]

I am trying. I'm not trying hard. I'm. My dating life, if I'm to get personal. Not a lot of dating. I am as. I think I'm as single as I've ever been.

[A]

Wow. I feel like you've made fun of people for saying that.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Very single. Very single.

[B]

Well, very single is a real thing.

[A]

Now you. Now you're turning on Very Single.

[B]

Okay, I'm for that.

[A]

Because we did used to make fun of those people.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Every. I only make fun of anyone who resembles me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, what is it? Big reveal. Who was me the whole time? I'm the loser, you know?

[A]

Right. What does it mean to be single versus very single?

[B]

Very single is like, no prospects, nobody.

[A]

Texting, no one that could say that they're dating you.

[B]

Oh, no one could be, like, I've been, I guess, talking to Jared in the talking phase. But, like, we haven't even gone on a date. Yeah. Like, do you like that?

[A]

Do you feel free?

[B]

I feel free, but I also feel lonely. You know, there's gravity to life. You feel free, but you have nobody. You. You. There's no anxiety. But then there's nobody who's texting you. And you're like, does any. Like, waking up in the morning to zero red notifications? You're like, wow.

[A]

Oh, I gotta text you more.

[B]

Quiet. Yeah, Jordana, pick it up. Won't have me over, won't text me back. I only see her when the cameras go on.

[A]

You're invited. I open invitation.

[B]

I guess I think people could relate to that idea of like, and I'm also very much not an easy person to date. This is a me pro.

[A]

Like, this isn't me saying, your problem isn't that so many people are breaking up with you because you're so hard to date.

[B]

No, but my problem is I don't even want to entertain someone.

[A]

Why? You said you're lonely.

[B]

I'm lonely, but I don't want to spend time with anybody.

[A]

Right. Well, that was part of the reason I wanted to get into a relationship was so that I didn't have to go out and meet anyone else.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That part's exhausting.

[B]

That's the thing. But then you end up on the couch with that person. You go, I make the right decision here. Right. That's my fear. So now I've kind of resisted so much that I'm like, I do feel myself going into this, like, alone abyss a little bit. Not to start the Friday feels.

[A]

Should we make a little. Should we make a little goal for you? A little dating goal to get you.

[B]

Out of that Whatever goal we make. A kooky real estate woman will copy it and sell it as her own.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

So we have to worry about that. But maybe we'll create a goal for that cook. You see that kooky real estate woman stealing our old woman? She uses. You know what I'm talking about? She looks like I know her from the grandma from. From now. I'm. I'm always the bitter one. I always sound like the bitter one. She looks like the grandma from the nanny.

[A]

You're a hop, skip, and a jump away from being the pigeon woman in Home Alone.

[B]

I am. I'm really getting close. People coming out. Yeah. Yeah. I just have pigeons all over me. And everyone's like, who is. Oh, yeah, that's the guy who used to have a dating podcast. They're taking my bits. Just. They took my summer dating challenge, and they turn it into a fall dating challenge. She's like, sit alone in a bar. September. I was like, better ring than summer dating challenge.

[A]

But, well, this is not about the public.

[B]

I'm making it about them.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's about me.

[A]

What is your. What is your. Your personal dating. Why don't you make a personal, small dating goal?

[B]

My dating goal? I don't know.

[A]

I think you should read. What about my goal for you, which is for you to reach out to more people to pursue?

[B]

I thought about that, and then I.

[A]

Go, do I better not?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Why don't you try one then? Just one. See how it feels. I think that's how I think your wife is out there waiting for you to approach her.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's my feeling.

[B]

And then. Well, here's the thing. Here's. Here's the thing about men generally. But I'll speak for myself. Me is like, I am at calm right now. Life is pretty easy. Pursuing that is like, literally. And I've said this before, a version of this. But like, reaching out to someone is like. Okay. It's like, you know when you wake up in the morning and you have a big day ahead of you?

[A]

Yeah. And you're like.

[B]

And yeah, you do that big breath before getting out of bed. That's what getting in a serious relationship feels like to me right now.

[A]

But then how do you feel at the end of the day?

[B]

Really good. I'm just. Listen, you, you, you, you. You are. Say, I know this, but right now I'm in bed. Think of yourself in bed at 5am and you got a huge day in front of you. But right now, for these 30 seconds, you can lie there and just. That's where I am.

[A]

Okay. But that assumes you're going to get up in 30 seconds.

[B]

I know I gotta get up. If I don't get up soon, I'll stay in this bed all day long.

[A]

That's the thing.

[B]

And then I'm.

[A]

And then you'll feel. And then you won't feel good at.

[B]

The end of the day. And then I'll be alone in my apartment. Yeah, right. That's the fear. This is. If you're wondering what a man is thinking, this is it. I don't think I'm that alone in this.

[A]

I don't think you are either. Yeah. Why don't you try this new trend that the New York Post, ever. The classy New York Post has. Has defined. It's called. It's called Shreking.

[B]

I. I'm laughing because we had this teed up.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To talk about Shreking today. If I was like. If I said this without it being a thing, everyone would. No one would listen to this podcast. If I was like, you know what, Jordana? Here's my thing I'm gonna do in the fall. I'm gonna just date a bunch of ugly women. Maybe that will make me feel better about my dating life. Maybe that will find me.

[A]

There's a name for it.

[B]

Why don't I date some gross bitch?

[A]

Well, do you want to know the technique? This is how you did. This is.

[B]

What's the technical term? But I'm saying This is why dating is a female subject. That men stay away from the idea in trouble. Shreking, you know, Shreking. I listen and I've been with women that they're. I'm sure every woman I've been with, they're like, wow, she's really shreking right now. No. Well, I saw Selena Gomez on the red carpet last night. No one looks more like her labubu than.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

Benny. Whatever the. His name is Blanco. And it looks like he's trying to. To look like there's a point where.

[A]

It'S like a suit.

[B]

He just. There's a point.

[A]

He's. I think he's a great fiance. He's probably a great boyfriend. Probably. Very funny. Very cool. I don't know if red carpets where he shines. And that's okay. No, that's okay.

[B]

Right. Right. Look at. I'm looking at a picture. She is. And she was in this red dress. She's like, glowing. She's talked about, like, body issues and stuff. And like, we have kind of seen her grow up on camera. Like, we've watched like, her like, form into the woman she is today. So I. I buy her story of like, I've got my own body issues. I buy that because, like, totally, we've watched it. But her with this guy, it is like you go. And it's not fair. You go, he must have money.

[A]

Well, that's like the Charlotte Harry thing in. In Sex in the City.

[B]

Charlotte and Harry.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Right. Harry. They nerf him. They may. That's like a Marvel term. Okay, we gotta explain what shreking is.

[A]

Shreking is the new dating slang for dating down or settling for someone less attractive than you. The term comes from the movie Shrek where Princess Fiona ends up with an ogre. Dating down doesn't guaranteed happiness. It's basically a way to describe getting hurt by someone you gave a chance thinking they treat you bad. Oh, so it's something you say retroactively. Seemingly.

[B]

You said they're not being nicer about.

[A]

Someone that you gave a chance thinking they treat you better because they're less conventionally attractive.

[B]

Only women can do this.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Only women can do this. No.

[A]

Wasn't even.

[B]

Or even say he Shrek.

[A]

Well, no man would Shrek.

[B]

Right?

[A]

That's the difference.

[B]

That's the difference. No man goes on a date that his penis doesn't allow him to go.

[A]

Thing. That's what I'm saying. That's why it's a female thing.

[B]

So if like a guy's with someone who's unconventionally beautiful, you go, oh, that must be his version of beautiful, which everyone's entitled to. Everyone has their type and their, the look that they're into. I just think this is like a. This is a way. This is like short king. This is a way of insulting men to their face in a fun way that we can all have fun with. We're all shreking. Oh, look at all these ugly men. And it's like, who's losing in this?

[A]

The.

[B]

The ugly man with the hot ass woman or the hot woman with the dumpy dude, you better. Opia's money.

[A]

You gotta hope. Well, for Selena, she doesn't need anyone's money.

[B]

That's. That's another thing she may.

[A]

I think it's like. Well, we used to call this back in my day, ugly hot.

[B]

Ugly hot.

[A]

Ugly hot was what my friends and I called that in college when you would date someone who was not conventionally attractive but had a certain something where they were hot.

[B]

Well, that's how mean we've gotten as a society. No one wants to admit. Like, charm and hotness can just be exuded by someone who isn't conventionally hot. You know, like, yeah, this guy, what's his name? Benny Blanco. He's ugly hot. Because you would go, you see an interview with him. He's soft spoken. He's got kind of like a cool way about him. Yeah, he's a musician. Like, he's, he's. I think he's written like every, every good popular song of the last 30 years. So this guy is like, has a talent that is like, you know, that no one has.

[A]

And I'm sure he's very charming.

[B]

Right? Look, let's look at the words he writes. You know, look, what's a, what's a popular Benny Blanco song? It's got to be something that's just unbelievable. But like the pictures of them on the red carpet.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. That's not where he shines.

[B]

No, you know, you wouldn't. You'd go, what's. What's his deal?

[A]

Yeah, and would you rather have someone that you don't look good on the red carpet with, but you have a great dinner conversation with? Probably.

[B]

Right? And would you want someone that feels as though they hit a home run by accident? So that's, this is the thing. Do women want a guy who's obsessed with them? Because that's what this shreking thing is all about too.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Is I want someone who makes Me feel so good because I'm with them.

[A]

I will say that I've found that the less attractive men are not always obsessed, are actually maybe sometimes less obsessed with you than the more attractive men.

[B]

Well, yet it goes to their head.

[A]

Yes. One, they have a certain. Usually they have a certain charm if you're dating them and they're less attractive and they've managed. They still manage to get a lot of women. Right. And then two, I almost think more than a conventionally attractive man who has nothing to prove, a guy who knows he's a little bit, like, less on the spectrum of hotness, almost has, like, more of like a complex.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And therefore might even treat you worse than a. Than a guy who's classically good looking, because that guy doesn't give a. He's not. Like, who's he proving to anyone here? You know, everyone has told him he's hot and beautiful his whole life.

[B]

Right. Well, the. The moral of the story is you can never get ahead of this. You can try to. You can be like, well, I'll go with a guy who's not that hot so that he's obsessed with me. And then you find out it's a genie's wish gone bad that, oh, here's a ugly dude who's cocky, the worst of all, who doesn't know he's ugly. You know, like, I mean, like, listen, that would be like, I. That could say that. Someone could say that about me. Oh, he's got a dating po. He thinks he knows everything about D. Look at him. You know, you could do that to me.

[A]

You could do it to anyone.

[B]

Right? So you can't win if you're. If you can't win if you try to win.

[A]

That's true. There's no way to avoid dating someone who might dump you, right?

[B]

And then you're like, but I Shrek. This wasn't supposed to go this way. Yeah, right.

[A]

But I could see saying this about a guy after you're over.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Probably wouldn't say that about your husband.

[B]

Listen, if you're a Shrek out there, who wants to have a laugh? I'm on the road right now. All the ugly people come to my ugly show. I'm on the road. I got theaters to fill. I mean, right now, what's the date? This comes out 2626 September. We are breathing down Halloween's Neck. And I'm going to be in Richmond. I'm going to be in dc, Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Chicago, Durham, Charlotte, everywhere. Fort Lauderdale, Royal Oak Columbus, Orlando, San Diego. That takes us through the new year. So you have no experience dot com.

[A]

No excuses, coming to a city near you.

[B]

Assemble the group chat. It's about. It's a lot more about dating than the last tour. It's a lot more about loneliness and.

[A]

But it's a fun show.

[B]

It's fun. It's totally fun. Going to dinner with my parents. I talk about my parent. I've been talking about one about my parents. My parents have this one friend that I've started to talk about on stage and I didn't think it was funny.

[A]

I want to do a documentary a week in your parents country club.

[B]

Oh, talk about a bonus episode. We're doing bonus stuff on YouTube if you want to subscribe to YouTube. But I think I wanted to pitch this. You know those like 247 shows where they show like the race car drivers, you know, like they have the F1 show that's on Netflix, right? Or they have the quarterback show on Netflix where it's like they track the quarterbacks and they go interview their wives and their families.

[A]

I don't watch those shows.

[B]

You know what I'm telling you, they have them. They've gotten people more into sports maybe that they haven't been sure. They do one for golf where it's like you attract the golfers. You get to know them a little bit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think they should do one on me getting ready for my next special. And you just. And I've just moved to Delray and I'm like, with my parents. And you just see me with my parents having dinner and them yelling at me.

[A]

I like it.

[B]

And leading up to the taping of my special that is about them.

[A]

I like, I, I want, I want interviews with other people though, at the club.

[B]

Not just, oh, we'll get them all. We'll get Liz and Carrie and Bobby Joe. The whole Goldie. Yeah, the whole I want.

[A]

I want interviews with everyone. This show is sponsored by Better Help. We turn to some funny places for support group chats, hairdressers, bartenders, or for some of us, even a podcast mic. As fun as they are to vent to, they may not have all the right answers. Instead, get guidance from a credentialed therapist online with Better Help. I know I have a lot of friends and family members and people in my life that I speak to to vent or that I ask for advice. And those are all great. But the person that really helps guide and improve my life is definitely my therapist. Because they're trained, they know what they're doing and I've had a therapist for 10 years and I have to say it is massively different than all the advice that I was getting from my friends. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recs. It's completely online, letting you join a session at the click of a button and you can pause your subscription whenever you need to, plus switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of Expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp our listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.comUUP that's BetterHelp.

[B]

H E-L-P.comUUP we are sponsored by Hungry Root. We're big fans of Hungry Root here on the show, don't you think, Jordan?

[A]

I love Hungry Root.

[B]

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[A]

I love Hungry Root. It makes eating healthy so much easier. They give you like all the ingredients for a recipe and the recipes all take like 15 minutes tops.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

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[A]

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[B]

Yeah. What are we talking about today other than ugly people?

[A]

We're going to do a petty or prudent.

[B]

We love a petty or prudent.

[A]

This is petty to call someone a shrek after you after they've broken up with you.

[B]

Yeah. Because you them.

[A]

That's true. Jokes. Jokes on you.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Jokes on you.

[B]

He's going around being like, look at this hot chick I used to date.

[A]

Right?

[B]

And you're the one going, I can't believe how ugly that guy was. You know? Okay, who cares?

[A]

All right, well, let's do a petty or prudent.

[B]

I just think also like I hate to be the if a man did this but that is one of those that.

[A]

Well, a man wouldn't do this. That's why it's not applicable.

[B]

Men do it. It's just, you know, it's funny after.

[A]

The tinder swindler man.

[B]

Men do it do or men do the men do say these awful things. It's funny that like the awful thing said by the grossest person on the Internet is like fun for the women to talk about. Do you know what I mean? Like, there are men that do this. They're like, what an ugly piece of.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, what's she doing with him? And then you're like, well, that's just a commenter. You know, and then.

[A]

Right. No, there's many. There's. There. Men say some mean things.

[B]

Yes, they do. Let me make sure. Yes, you're right. I'm wrong. All right, I. I'm making it less than it should, but I. I see what you're saying.

[A]

This one in particular. This one you're like is. Is more. Is. Is double standardy.

[B]

Well, this would be disgusting. Man on the Internet or just fun conversation on the New York Post.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

It's like, yeah.

[A]

I mean, the New York Post is not like your bar for.

[B]

No.

[A]

You know, even though conversation.

[B]

No, not at all. I love Page Six.

[A]

I.

[B]

Who doesn't love it?

[A]

Yes. Guilty pleasure. All right, petty or prudent? You guys rock. But am I in the wrong?

[B]

So basically, they date, they break up. Is it. Did they react petty or was it prudent?

[A]

Yes. My best guy for under 15 years is getting married. After a year or two, he became good friends with my brother as well. The wedding saved. The dates arrived. My parents were invited, my brother and his girlfriend, and then me. Literally just addressed to me. I didn't think anything of it and went to the website to view the pictures and all the details on the FAQ page. One of the questions said, do I get a plus one? And the answer was. And the answer was, you will know if you get a plus one.

[B]

Does Marissa get a plus one? Like, it was like, really put there.

[A]

Just thought that was gonna be FAQs.

[B]

Oh, let me just go down. Does me get a plus one?

[A]

You know, I thought, wait, did I not get a plus one? But my brother did. Sure enough, RSVP only had me listed under my name, but he had two RSVPs under his name. Of course this annoyed me, but it's his wedding. I understand. The more I thought about it, the more trauma it brought up from being labeled the fifth wheel. My entire life by my family, I actively date, have been in serious relationships, but refused to settle. However, my brother jumps from relationship to relationship. Pretty much has only been single for three months of his entire life. Just because I don't cling on to the first person I find after a relationship end, sounds like she loves the girlfriend, is happily single, doesn't mean I don't get a plus one. Or that I could be dating Someone and my friend doesn't know. I called my friend and said I was bringing a plus one, and he laughed awkwardly but didn't say anything about it. Well, now my parents can't go, and now I'm trying to find a plus one. So am I being petty or is it reasonable to bring a plus one since two other people who are SVP can't attend? What do you think as someone, Jared, as someone who does not like to bring a plus one unless they're like, you're seriously dating someone. I feel like you don't. Like, I offered you plus one to my wedding. You didn't.

[B]

I don't want to bring sand to the beach. It's like, it's a great place to hook up and have fun and see what happens. I'm like, you're at a referral event, right? Everyone there has been thought positively by someone they love. So it's a great place to, like, meet someone. Like, I. I think, like, I. To me, like, when someone, like, needs a plus one at a wedding, to me, it shows, like, weakness. Like, it shows that they're insecure. It shows that they're not really okay with being on their own, you know?

[A]

Like, I agree with that. In this scenario, I think if you're invited to a wedding where you are, like, obscure friend of the bride, you kind of want to go, but you don't know a single person.

[B]

I'm the obscure friend. Yeah. Yeah, I guess.

[A]

I think it's like, I could see that just for wanting. Just, like, just in case you. So you have someone to talk to.

[B]

Listen, if you know people.

[A]

Like, she knows her very good friend. It's still a crutch.

[B]

And. Right.

[A]

Like, I can see her brother and his girlfriend are going. She knows people there.

[B]

Right. And I could see why in this scenario specifically.

[A]

And her parents are good.

[B]

Right? You can hang with mom and Dad.

[A]

I mean, they're not going well.

[B]

I don't think they invited you without a plus one with the context that she wrote it, like.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

You're the fifth wheel loser of the family. They always talk about it. Your friend doesn't know that. Like, Right. And she says it's her best friend. I can understand that.

[A]

He.

[B]

The best friend would be like, well, we're here with her, like, it's our wedding. But, like, this is my best friend, and she's, like, gonna get to know all our other friends, and there might be people she could meet. She's single. She wants to meet someone. Like, of course she's on her own. We're. We're best.

[A]

You're not dating anyone, right? Yeah.

[B]

And then the brother who just became friends with you two years ago, I can see why they're like, yeah, give him a plus one.

[A]

He's a girlfriend.

[B]

Girlfriend.

[A]

We've also met. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So, like, is it.

[A]

So she's saying, is it petty for her to bring a plus one?

[B]

I think what she did is petty.

[A]

Yeah. To basically demand or like. Or just state that you're bringing a plus one.

[B]

Also to go through the man. I know he's her best friend, but, like, he awkwardly laughs because now he has to deal with his fiance who's, like, in charge of the numbers and the invites. He's not in charge of this.

[A]

Right. And she hasn't done it with any vulnerability.

[B]

Hey, I'm. Yeah, right.

[A]

I think there again, I'm okay with her asking. I have no problem with the ass. Doesn't sound like she asked. It sounds like she told.

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

Which I don't agree with, but I think you could ask and ask with some vulnerability. Hey, I noticed I didn't have a plus one. I. I kind of. I know, like, it kind of a crutch, but I did kind of feel like I would have really liked to bring a date. We're so close, and I feel insecure about kind of, like, attending these things alone. It's kind of an insecurity of mine.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Do you mind if I bring up.

[B]

That's fine. And, you know, everything I said before, I do believe about the whole plus one thing. Like, when people are like, I need to have one. Get upset about it. I do think a little bit of acknowledgment from. I would wonder, would you ever think, like, when you're putting together the list and who gets a plus one and who doesn't, I think letting the single people know that you didn't invite with a plus one, your thought process might help that. Like, is there an option to be.

[A]

Like, a text to a friend, the invitation, Jared Freed. And then text me and I'll discuss. And we can discuss why you didn't see me. Anyone see me after class?

[B]

All right. Like, just a little bit of context for, like. Like, hey, you know, we didn't give you a plus one because we're sitting you at a table with, like, people we love and also want to meet people, and you're gonna be with them on the Friday night before. I don't know.

[A]

Like, here's my rationale with it. Well, first of all, I had A destination wedding. So anyone who wanted a plus one got a plus one. Because you're going on. You're going on a vacation. So I'm not expecting you to go on a big. I want you to be as happy as you possibly can be with. But I didn't give everyone a plus one. But anyone who would ask. That's why I'm very pro asking. Because anyone who is like, like, I just started dating this person, do you mind if they come to the wedding? I'd be like, oh, of course. Like, definitely come. You guys should make a vacation of it.

[B]

And I commented this when we talked about this before, but it's like, if you're friendly enough to go to their wedding, you should be able to tell.

[A]

Me you're dating someone new to text.

[B]

That person and, and have a little bit of a normal conversation with them.

[A]

I totally agree with that. And so I think, like, asking is. Is fine. And if you don't give one, I think it's. I think it's fine to ask. Ask.

[B]

It's fine to add. But the way she did it was petty, right?

[A]

She didn't ask. I'm bringing someone. That's right.

[B]

Okay, so.

[A]

Sounds like she's annoying, right?

[B]

Sounds like, hey, everyone who's single, you dodged a bullet. You won't have to talk to this person. Like, I just don't, like, I don't know.

[A]

Do you want to? My thing is, like, if you're not dating anyone, if you're do. If someone was dating someone for two weeks and they're like, oh, this would be like a fun event to attend with this person. They can meet my friends and, you know, we're gonna dance, there's gonna be alcohol, it's gonna be a part. Basically bringing them to a party. Like, if I, I wouldn't do that with. If I wasn't seeing anyone, just to bring someone. That part's weird.

[B]

Well, this is the point. The, the plus one, when we receive these emails, it is presented as such a black and white thing. It's like, it's like, well, now I can't bring anyone. What if I meet someone in the future? It's like, well, it's more gray, right?

[A]

Just you meet someone.

[B]

Hey, I just met someone. We're like, really hitting it off. I would love to bring them to the wedding. I think it'd be more fun for me if I could do that. That's fine. Also, when someone invites you without a plus one, it isn't them being like, single loser. Like, we know you have nobody. It's not as black and white as that.

[A]

The reason I wouldn't put and guest to anyone that I knew wasn't dating anyone was because I didn't. I wouldn't want them to bring just like a random friend because they had like a June, but if they were seeing someone, I'd be happy to have.

[B]

Well, that's the miscommunication of the plus one. The miscommunication is two people not saying. When you don't get a plus one, you're worried about asking because you don't want to be like a nudge.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And when you don't give someone a plus one, you're not giving it to them because you're worried they're going to be a nudge and bring someone just because they have a plus one.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You're offending. It is this huge miscommunication of like, I don't want a rando just for rando's sake.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And they don't want to like be alone just for a loan's sake. So that's really the issue.

[A]

Which is why you should talk.

[B]

Exactly. You should talk communication.

[A]

Exactly. This episode is sponsored by Instacart. We've all been there. You finally get to your vacation spot after a long travel day. You're tired. You're ready to wind down and realize you forgot something important. Maybe a toothbrush, maybe a skincare product, or even a pair of shoes. Instead of wasting your precious vacation time running errands, you can have Instacart help deliver whatever you need right to you. And when the vacation's over and you're heading back to reality, set yourself up with a full fridge of groceries so you can ease back into your routine. From meal prepping to restocking pantry staples, Instacart helps you get all the essentials you need, no matter where you are. Truly, the convenience cannot be beat. With just a few taps, you can shop your favorite stores and get fresh groceries or household essentials delivered in as fast as as 30 minutes. Or if you're out and about, you can have them ready for pickup. Instacart helps to deliver, so you can handle everything else. Just order online or via the easy to use app. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app and use code UAP Pod20 to get $20 off your first order of $80 or more. That's code UUP P O D20 to get $20 off your 1st order of $80 or more offer valid for a limited time, excludes restaurants. Additional terms apply before enemies to lovers There was Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy Pride and Prejudice is globally recognized as one of the greatest romance novels ever written, and with Audible you can now fall in love with the Jane Austen classic all over again. The Audible original Pride and Prejudice stars a full cast including Marisa Abella as Elizabeth Bennett and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy, plus Marianne John Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill Nighy and Glenn Close as Lady Catherine Deborah, all bringing brilliant performance to transport you to the Regency era. Maris Bella brings you inside the stubborn and complicated mind of Elizabeth Bennett as she navigates family expectations, societal pressures and her own misconceptions when she meets the enigmatic Mr. Darcy. The new adaptation is vibrant and modern with an original new score by a Grammy nominated composer. Whether you're new to the story of Pride and Prejudice or want to revisit a cherished favorite, you're in for a new and delightful listening experience. Listen to the new Pride and [e-mail] Jane Austen. You know those moments when your hands are full or your eyes need a break, but you still want to escape into a great story? That's why I'm such a fan of Audible. I listen all the time, whether I'm on a walk, commuting to the office, doing chores, or even just relaxing before bed. Audible's app makes it super easy to jump right into thousands of audiobooks anytime, anywhere. I've mentioned before that one of my favorite movies is Pride and Prejudice, and I'm excited that Audible is releasing a brand new audiobook version of the Jane Austen novel on September 9th. Narrated by Marissa Abela, Harris Dickinson, Glenn Close and other stars you know and love, Audible gives me the best of both worlds. I can enjoy a story I love while actually getting stuff done. They have thousands of titles, everything from romance to thrillers to memoirs, comedy and even self improvement. So whatever mood you're in, there's always something fresh and exciting waiting for you. And the app is super user friendly. You can download audiobooks to listen offline, adjust the narration speed and pick up right where you left off across all your devices. If you've never tried Audible before, I can't recommend it enough. It's the easiest way to bring incredible stories into your everyday life. Trust me, once you start listening, you'll wonder how you ever went without it. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com UUP let's do another email. Let's do it.

[B]

J And J. My friend lives with a dog in her studio apartment and the dog smells so bad to the point where one of our mutual friends asked me if something was medically wrong with the dog. Wow, that's bad. I don't think anything is actually medically wrong with the dog. Just that the G doesn't wash him enough, I guess. I don't know how often you have to wash a dog. How often do you have to wash Ronnie?

[A]

Every six weeks as he goes to the groomer.

[B]

There's a dog smell that's reminiscent of like a glass that hasn't been clean. Smell that really bothers me.

[A]

I don't like the smell of dog. Really? I especially don't like the smell of wet dog.

[B]

It affects me.

[A]

Yeah, I would agree with that. I would. I mean, I had my dog. If you. Sometimes he does have, like a smell, but I think that's like a normal dog smell. But I assume she's assumed. She's saying that the dog smells worse than that. My sister once came over and was like, your dog smells. And I was like, you smell. Shut the up about my dog.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which sister?

[A]

My sister Shiro is like, really? She's like, your dog smells. I'm like, you smell. She doesn't smell. But like, I got there. I got my, like, snaps.

[B]

You really got annoyed.

[A]

Yeah, he doesn't smell. He smells great. He smells like a dog.

[B]

When I'm ever allowed over the house.

[A]

He smells like a dog.

[B]

Yeah, but dog is bad smell. If I said you smell like a dog, that's not a cow.

[A]

You said, I smell like a human. I'd be like, yeah, that's what I.

[B]

That's not what I would ever say is a dog. Yeah, but if I went up to you and I go, hey, Jordan, you smell like a dog. Yeah, that would be bad. No, you smell like a dog here. You're good. But I'm saying when you say when someone comes to your house, it goes, it smells like a dog.

[A]

No, she just said the dog smells, not the house smells like a dog.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You have to come.

[B]

I think one in the same.

[A]

Why don't you come over and tell me if my dog.

[B]

Well, if you'll let me over A lot of excuses as the listeners have noticed. Jordana doesn't really.

[A]

Well, anyway, you're not supposed to wash a dog too often. I would wash it.

[B]

Why not?

[A]

Apparently it's like bad for their skin.

[B]

Die from being.

[A]

No, it's bad. It's bad for, like their skin and their fur if you over wash them.

[B]

That sounds like an excuse from people who don't want to do it.

[A]

No, it's true. Because otherwise the groomers would be like, yeah, he's got to come in every week. They're like, don't. You're not supposed to bring them in. Like, more.

[B]

But the rumor is different than you just throwing a hose at them.

[A]

The groomer, so that I don't have to deal with him.

[B]

Right. All right.

[A]

I wash my dog on a very regular. Okay, well, I don't like a smelly dog either.

[B]

I just give me the schedule. So I. When I come over and I'm very.

[A]

I'm very, very wary of my house smelling like dog. Anytime someone comes in, they say something. If my hat that my house smells good, I'll be like, okay, good. I was worried that smells like dog.

[B]

People come in and say it smells good.

[A]

They do.

[B]

Okay, what kind of candle?

[A]

Sometimes people say it smells like new. Like new house. New house. So I get that sometimes.

[B]

And I'm like, especially because you just redid it.

[A]

Right. But I'm like, great. My big concern is that you don't want to have it smell like dog. And you don't know that's my concern.

[B]

Because when a house smells, that is just the smell, right?

[A]

Yeah, you don't have a smell. Like everyone's house has their own smell.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Anyway, so I wash my dog in appropriate amount of time. He does roll around in the dirt a lot.

[B]

Okay. So anyways, she's constantly complaining about how she can't find love and get a boyfriend. Etc. I don't know if I should tell her that one of the contra. I don't know if I should tell her that. One of the contributing factors might be that everything, her dog, her apartment, her car, herself has this horrible, musty dog smell. It got so bad that recently we went to the movies together and I was leaning away from her because I didn't want to smell.

[A]

Okay, that's bad.

[B]

That's bad. I almost felt like it would be either. Jordana, I think I'm smelling it. I almost feel like it would be easier if it was BO because then I could just tell her that her deodorant isn't working.

[A]

Would you know if that would be easier?

[B]

Is it easier to tell someone that their dog smells or they have B.O.

[A]

I think it's easier to tell someone their dog smells because it's not personal. You're blaming the dog.

[B]

Right. And that can be Fixed. If you tell someone they have bo.

[A]

It'S like, oh, you need to shower.

[B]

Right. They might be doing all these things already.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, for a dog. You're telling me six weeks, I'm like, how about we make it five, you know? Oh, you're supposed to bathe it every six weeks. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But with you. Hey, you have bo. I shower every day. What are you talking about? Like, would you have B.O.

[A]

If you showered and use deodorant every day?

[B]

Some people. It's chronic.

[A]

You know that.

[B]

Well, what do they say? There's, like, an etiquette to, like, you don't tell someone that they smell. No. Well, you don't. Someone to fix something they can't fix.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So a smell is, like, in between those, a smell might be unfixable or it's something you don't know about. So you know when you say to someone, you should lose 20 pounds, that's being mean.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Because sometimes that's beyond. That's not something. You could go home and just go, oh, let me take off my £20, and I'll come right back out.

[A]

Well, this also. This. The. Those £20 doesn't affect you. The person telling them that. Right, Right.

[B]

It's rude. It's completely.

[A]

You smell does. Could affect the person.

[B]

Right? That's the trick.

[A]

If I'm sitting next to you and you smell, that is a me problem as well.

[B]

Right. I wouldn't see it that way. I would see that. Like, that's why my. My fighting technique. You know, my fighting technique, which is.

[A]

To harbor everything under.

[B]

Not never dump them a week later.

[A]

No, my fighting technique called the Jared special.

[B]

If someone was, like, yelling at me, I go, oh, your breath stinks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I never told you my fighting.

[A]

I think you have said this.

[B]

Yeah, Just. It's the best technique. Just like you piece of. Oh, really? Your breath stinks. That's like a chop.

[A]

And your breath stinks, too.

[B]

Yeah. Don't just. You're just. If they're, like, yelling. If I was getting yelled at, that's my first move.

[A]

So when's the last time you used that?

[B]

It's. I'm waiting. I got it in my sheath.

[A]

All right. Next person in this room that yells at Jared.

[B]

Yeah. You yell at me. You're getting. And I'm gonna say it honestly, like this. Like, just call me a piece of.

[A]

You're a piece of.

[B]

Your breath stinks.

[A]

Not nice.

[B]

See, you go. Go lower. Adds effects to it. Right? And now you're going like, good luck yelling at Someone Right. When they told you your breast stinks. Oh, well.

[A]

And you're a piece of.

[B]

Right. Oh. Move your hand so that we can all hear you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. So the dog is like the light of her life. Oh, Jordana, you're speaking to this?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Right. This is tougher than maybe I would assume. And she has attachment issues with it. She started talking. She started taking the dog to work with her at the store. And I'm waiting for someone she works with to say something. If that doesn't happen, how can I tell her that she needs to wash her dog more and clean her apartment and car and clothes better? So she just gave her a huge weekend to do list.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because she smells like a bad, musty dog. I definitely feel like this would hurt our feelings and maybe end our friendship. But if you smelled so bad people are leaning away from you, wouldn't you want to know, should I just give up and let her live forever alone in her nose blind apartment? Signed, a concerned cat person. Oh, she's. I wouldn't do that. Don't be coming at her with being. I'm a cat person.

[A]

But, yeah, I think she's got to tell her if it's her real friend.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's how you tell a friend from a very good friend. A very good friend will tell you that you smell like.

[B]

Right.

[A]

A good friend will not say anything.

[B]

Right. A very good friend will give you information that might lose the friendship or.

[A]

That isn't going to make you necessarily just feel great and superficially happy.

[B]

Right. Right. That's what. That's the risk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I am such a good friend to you that I'm going to be honest with you with care.

[A]

Yes. Slightly.

[B]

Right. I think it's. I think it's. Hey, I don't think the strategy is. Hey, you said you think you're gonna die alone. Have you thought about your smell? I don't think that's the strategy. I think you. I think you kind of separate the two. Like, it's not. You can't find love because you stink like.

[A]

No, I wouldn't bring that into it at all.

[B]

Right. The single stuff.

[A]

Believe that. Yeah.

[B]

We want to just concentrate.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

On her funk.

[A]

Here's what I would say. You're hanging out. I would say. Can I tell you?

[B]

Play it out with me. I. I'm the smelly one. I'm smelly. Steve.

[A]

Jared.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Steve.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Can I tell you something?

[B]

Yeah. Listen, Jordana, it's so good that you came over. I'm so happy. I actually Just bought a new candle. Smell. Can you. Can you smell it? Do it.

[A]

No, I. I can actually smell it. That's why I was wondering if I could. Can I tell you something?

[B]

It's lavender. You don't smell the lavender? Yeah. What. What. What do you need to tell me?

[A]

So there's a little.

[B]

Hold on. Excuse me. The dog needs something. I love you more than anything in the world.

[A]

So. Such a cutie.

[B]

Oh, my God. Don't you love.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'm obsessed.

[B]

Rufus is a great dog.

[A]

So cute.

[B]

Rufus.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Oh, nobody loves me like you. I have nobody except you.

[A]

Love Rufus.

[B]

The. Rufus love you. You're the only thing in my life that makes me feel like I should stay here on Earth. Okay, so you were saying?

[A]

All right, smelly Steve.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

Here's the thing. There's a. There's.

[B]

You can tell me anything. Jordana. We've known each other a long time. There's a. I consider you a really great friend.

[A]

There's a.

[B]

There is nothing you could tell me that would make me feel badly at all. It's me, you and Rufus.

[A]

Love the. Love the apartment. Love the candles. Love everything I have to say. There's a little bit of a stench.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

I'm telling you because I would want someone to tell me because I know it's hard. I know it's hard to tell when you're. When you live in the house that you're in, what your house smells like. Sometimes I have to. When I. Sometimes I leave, and then I come back and I'm like, oh, there's something gross in my house because something smells weird. Like, that's kind of what I'm smelling here.

[B]

So you smell something now there's a scent.

[A]

I think it might be the dog.

[B]

Maybe it's you.

[A]

No.

[B]

You don't think it's you?

[A]

I don't think it's me.

[B]

So you're. You're saying I smell?

[A]

I'm saying that the apartment. And probably you, by. By way of living in the apartment, is giving off an odor that's really unpleasant. And I. Again, I'm telling you because I would want you to tell me and because it seems like a relatively easy fix.

[B]

This is disappointing, you know, Disappointing for.

[A]

All of us in the apartment.

[B]

I've. I. I don't smell it. It is really frustrating to hear this from you.

[A]

I mean, this is all I'm going to say. I'm not going to mention it again. If you don't, you can take my.

[B]

This is all I'M going to think about for the rest of my life is that you think I smell and you think it's me or the dog.

[A]

I'm not sure exactly where it's coming from, but it does smell like dog.

[B]

You gotta zone in on the dog. Listen, a smelly Steve problem, it's gonna be.

[A]

I said it's the dog. I said.

[B]

I heard was.

[A]

I think it's.

[B]

I said, I think it's the dog.

[A]

I mean, I don't fully know where the root of the problem is. I'm assuming it's the dog.

[B]

I think you gotta zone in on the dog.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Your dog stinks.

[A]

Your dog smells.

[B]

Yeah. And then I would go, like, what?

[A]

Just like rancid? Like, bad?

[B]

Like, it needs.

[A]

He needs to be washed and it's.

[B]

Transferred on to you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And. And everyone's talking about it.

[A]

I wouldn't say everyone's talking about it. That has another layer of shame that I don't think is necessary. But I would say, I'm with you.

[B]

You gotta tell.

[A]

Yeah. I think you say it. You say nicely, listen, that you've done your part. After that, now you're done. You're done. Unless they come back and say, could you come. Could you come over again to see if this worked?

[B]

I would. You ask them how many times they get it groomed? Hey, Jordana, how many times are you getting Ronnie groomed?

[A]

Only if they responded with, like, is it. Could it be the dog? I feel like I just got him washed. Then I would ask more questions if they seemed, like, interested in troubleshooting it with me.

[B]

Right. Well, when do you get it? Yeah. The question. What do you think it is?

[A]

What does it smell like?

[B]

Right. The fact that they're bringing it to work and they're like, they're not.

[A]

It's their store, too. She's bringing it to dispecting her business. That's what I'm saying. It's the kindest thing you could do.

[B]

I'm not saying that all these things.

[A]

Are connected, but it would be very embarrassing. And for me, if it was me, I would be like, how long have people been talking about this? That's why the earlier you can intervene, the better.

[B]

I would be like, hey, Jordana, you smell like the dog, and the dog smells like. All right, well, okay. And I'm not saying it's connecting to other parts of your life. I think your life would be way better if you took care of this dog smell.

[A]

Love that.

[B]

Let's talk it up. I think a lot of the problems in your life are connected with this dog smelling like a hot turd on a summer day. And if we took care of that together, I actually.

[A]

Oh, now you're making it your problem.

[B]

Yeah, well, I'm gonna say I have a list of groomers that we can bring this dog to. And I got a cleaning person that I'm gonna give you the number of.

[A]

Wow. Mr. Fix it.

[B]

That's me. I think we solved it.

[A]

I think we did too. I. I would like to say formally on record, that if I ever smell like dog or anything else I can say, you can tell me.

[B]

And me too. If I ever smell like. We make a pack that'd be. Yeah. Packed. If we smell, we tell each other.

[A]

Okay, great. I have this packed with my friends, but Botox.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Great, great pack.

[A]

Yes. Cuz sometime it's the kind of thing where like, you know, you see people and you're like, you've really overdone it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So we have a packed. If you ever. If I ever notice you were overdoing it, you got to tell me, do.

[B]

You have like a. There should be like a safe word, because I don't like. Right. Even if I had the pact, that would still stick. Like if someone can't do like, it's in your face. You look crazy.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Like, I would already. I've already done it, you know, so like, I would need a little bit of care.

[A]

You've already done it, but like, it can go like.

[B]

Sure, but I'm saying like, but for a week I gotta walk around looking like a duck. So it's like I. I would need someone to go quack, quack, quack, quack, quack, quack.

[A]

Okay, that's. That's the word if anyone. Let's make that the universal word.

[B]

Right? If you come say hi to me in line after the show and take a picture. Quack, quack, dude means you got too much work done. Okay, good enough, good enough. Thank you for coming to the show. Yeah. Quack, quack, quack, quack.

[A]

Because you start, you can't tell someone you've overdone it.

[B]

No, it's crazy. You. But a friend. Even if a friend was like, hey, even though that packed we had about the Botox, you're like, no, really, Me? I'm the guy.

[A]

That's what you need. Someone to check you though, from the.

[B]

I only do a light Botox when I get mine. And have you gotten Botox?

[A]

It would be weird. People get boat men, men get Botox.

[B]

Men do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, I. I can tell. Men do. I saw. I watched the Emmys last night, neighbor. Nazi. Look good. I. You'll know. I got Botox. If this is gone. I have a little line in my.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

In my.

[A]

Then I'll know.

[B]

That's how you know. You know, it's like if I win the lottery. Lottery. There'll be signs, right? Like, if I get Botox, this line over my eyebrow.

[A]

Well, you guys will have to watch on YouTube to make sure, you know.

[B]

Can you see it?

[A]

Not really. Like, when I go like that to be a man.

[B]

Yeah. Tiny. It's. But that'll be gone. Yeah. Thanks, Will.

[A]

It's like everyone. Yeah. He's like, you just said he wanted. You just said you wanted honesty.

[B]

Yeah, but I don't know. You know, my dad's never gotten. At least I don't think he has. He's kind of aged well.

[A]

I mean, I was watching the Billy Joel documentary. He's definitely got yes.

[B]

He's got.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Got into it.

[A]

Listen, more and more men.

[B]

No, men are in. I mean, men are the. The vain times are here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The teeth. I mean, especially.

[A]

You're a performer.

[B]

I do have to understand. Here's what happens as a performer, as a person who goes on stage. I will say this. There are more pictures at more angles taken of me than most men get, I'm sure. So I have to be put face to face with what I look like all the time in a way that I'm like, if I just, like, didn't do this, like, I would think I'm a good looking guy.

[A]

Well, that's. Yeah.

[B]

You know, that's true of everyone else. I do this. I'm like, oh, I'm a animal. I'm Shrek.

[A]

Well, if we were alive 40 years ago, like, where there was no social media, where you're seeing 700, you'd see like one developed picture of yourself that was like, grainy, right? Yeah.

[B]

You think? Yeah, like everyone thought.

[A]

Probably thought they were.

[B]

I'm seeing myself in HD every week when I copy and paste the link on the Instagram stories.

[A]

I have to see my face zoomed in on all these videos, right?

[B]

Yeah, they zoom in. They're like, no, the only way to have a good video is if we.

[A]

Get right into your entire face on the entire iPhone screen.

[B]

Brutal.

[A]

Yeah, it's great.

[B]

Anyway, we saw.

[A]

We did it. We'll be back on Wednesday. Boom batches.