It's Taylor Swift & Mean Girls Day!

Summary

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U Up? Podcast: "It's Taylor Swift & Mean Girls Day!"

Date: October 3, 2025
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid

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Episode Overview

In this lively Friday episode, Jordana and Jared celebrate a day tailor-made for modern pop culture fans: a new Taylor Swift album and the annual "Mean Girls Day" (October 3rd). They ride the "basic" wave—pumpkin spice lattes, Gilmore Girls, infinity scarves—leaning into the fun and nostalgia that autumn brings. The pair then pivot back to their bread-and-butter: dissecting the messy terrain of dating, with signature humor and candid takes on everything from dating app apathy, social media DM adventures, and what it really means when an ex won't stop texting about their "fabulous" solo journey.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. October 3rd: Ultimate Basic Girl Holiday (01:46–02:46)

• The hosts declare October 3rd as a modern holiday for all things basic: Taylor Swift, Mean Girls, Gilmore Girls, PSLs, and sweater weather.
• Memorable Moment:
  • Jared: “It's like the basic Christmas today." (01:56)
  • Jordana: “Great day to reminisce on your exes in every way they've wronged you.” (02:21)

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2. Dating Apathy and Setting Realistic Goals (02:46–09:44)

• Jared opens up about feeling apathetic about modern dating, admitting he’s grown cynical and lazy regarding the pursuit of relationships.
• Jordana challenges him to shift his mindset: maybe excitement requires being proactive and putting himself out there for genuine rejection and, in turn, growth.
• They create a tongue-in-cheek challenge: "Rejection October"
  • Jordana: “Your October goal should be to be rejected three times.” (07:21)
  • Jared: "That's a fair... Rejection October. I can't wait till it gets super popular when the old realtor woman does it. Yeah, you heard it here in November." (07:42)
• Takeaway: Personal vulnerability and experiencing rejection is both relatable and valuable—and excellent podcast content.

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3. Ick or Picky Segment: Is He Gaslighting or Just Bailing? (13:33–19:14)

Scenario Recap [13:54–16:24]:

• A listener shares a dating story: she set up a first date, but her match keeps pushing her to cancel, insisting she’s “too tired” after she hints she’s busy, despite her assurance she’s excited to go.
• Jordana: “I've never seen someone try to get someone to cancel more.” (15:12)
• The hosts analyze the texts' gradual decline in enthusiasm, seeing it as a clear avoidance maneuver.

Hosts’ Analysis [16:50–19:14]:

• Both hosts agree: full "ick", not being picky.
• Jared: “It’s very clear. He doesn't want to go on the date.... It's even more of an ick that he's treating you like he's known you for 10 years.” (17:00)
• Jordana: “If he wants to cancel the date, he should just cancel the date, right? Not gaslight her into thinking that she canceled the date.” (17:38)
• They applaud the listener for her direct response and refusal to reschedule, underscoring the importance of upholding boundaries.

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4. Listener Dilemma: Nomadic Ex-Boyfriend Won't Stop Bragging (24:26–36:06)

Situation Set-up [24:26–25:55]:

• A listener’s ex broke up to pursue a “nomadic, adventurous lifestyle,” but now constantly reaches out, bragging about his life abroad (sun-kissed in Portugal, drinking absinthe in Barcelona, buying guitars in Nicaragua).

Hosts’ Analysis [25:57–36:06]:

• Jared: "When you travel alone, that phone is your girlfriend... I think he's sending this to everyone..." (25:51)
• Jordana: “He’s basically wanting all of the perks of a girlfriend...without any of the commitment.” (30:36)
• They agree the ex’s messages are performative and self-serving, more about soothing his own loneliness and ego than true connection.
• Jared: “No one cares. You especially wouldn't write it as if it was the newsletter a dad writes about his family during Christmas.” (31:00)
• Jordana: “I think about you every day is a dick thing to say.” (33:10)
• The correct response, per the hosts: set boundaries and cut the emotional labor, as his continued narration puts the emotional cost back on his ex, who owes him nothing.
• Jordana: “He’s using her at the expense of her emotional well being so that he doesn't feel lonely.” (35:59)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jordana (on October 3rd):
  “Great day to reminisce on your exes in every way they've wronged you.” (02:21)
• Jared (on dating effort):
  “The work is really, like, going after someone that maybe scares me a little bit.” (05:34)
• Jordana (on listener’s date):
  “If he wants to cancel the date, he should just cancel the date, right? Not gaslight her into thinking that she canceled the date.” (17:38)
• Jordana (on performative exes):
  “He basically wants all the perks of a girlfriend...without any of the commitment." (30:36)
• Jared (on ex's updates):
  “No one cares. And you especially wouldn't write it as if it was the newsletter a dad writes about his family during Christmas.” (31:00)
• Jordana (on boundaries):
  “It’s nice that you think about me every day, but again, I don’t really need to know that because we’re broken up.” (32:45–33:07)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:46–02:46: Basic Girl Day celebrations (Taylor, Mean Girls, PSL)
• 02:46–09:44: Dating apathy and “Rejection October” challenge
• 13:33–19:14: Ick or Picky segment—Listener’s first date red flag
• 24:26–36:06: Listener’s ex’s travel bragging & emotional boundaries

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Tone & Atmosphere

The hosts balance playful banter with sincere insight, maintaining honesty and vulnerability. Jared takes self-deprecating shots at his own dating malaise, while Jordana anchors the discussion in practical advice and emotional intelligence. Their rapport is equal parts comedic and compassionate, never shying away from naming bad behavior but always rooting for listener resilience.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

One thing.

[A]

You have a hole in your pants.

[B]

No. Really? Where?

[A]

Right now.

[B]

Right. Can you see? Are you wearing underwear? Keep your legs crossed on this.

[A]

What happens?

[B]

Make it out on camera, would you?

[A]

I don't think we can, but then we can look his.

[B]

I just sit like I have my period.

[A]

You peed in your pants. Hello and welcome back to the UF podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It's a Friday Feels episode. How you feeling, Jordana?

[A]

Feeling flirty and fun.

[B]

Flirty and fun.

[A]

It's October 3rd. It's the Taylor Swift album day.

[B]

It is.

[A]

And it's Mean Girls day.

[B]

It's all. It's. It is the season, it is the base.

[A]

It is like the basic Christmas today.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's October 3rd, which is the Mean Girls meme. Which I've been saying since I'm like 17.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Taylor Swift has released a new album. It is a great day to be a basic with a pumpkin spice latte.

[B]

Throw on Gilmore Girls because it's our day. Today's your day.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. It's a big, you know, infinity scarf type of day with big tall boots.

[A]

Yeah. And great day to reminisce on your exes in every way they've wronged you.

[B]

Right. I hope it's like cold but not freezing.

[A]

Same like if I look a sweater.

[B]

If I looked out, if I had a wish for the world, it's for October 3rd to be like, sweater, no jacket weather.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Just a crisp day where someone could go outside and feel the basicness in their bones.

[A]

How are you feeling?

[B]

I feel okay. I'm. I'm like, I kind of feel, you know, if you've listened to the benefits episodes, feel apathetic towards dating, which I hope that doesn't turn people off to this podcast. I guess that's what we want to hear here, that we're. I'm apathetic. I'm just giving you my general feeling on dating.

[A]

And you're being honest.

[B]

I'm being honest. Meeting someone. Like, I'm face to face with the understanding that meeting someone is important to me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But also, don't very down on the idea of that being a possibility in the way. Maybe I've thought of it to be a possibility.

[A]

Can you elaborate on that?

[B]

Like the idea that I'm going to, like, meet someone and be excited about them? I've met all the people. I've never been excited. Like, I feel.

[A]

You've met everyone.

[B]

I've met them all. Yeah, I've met them all.

[A]

Well, have you met them all in the way that I've suggested that you meet them all, which is to pursue. Pursue.

[B]

No, I don't know if you.

[A]

I think you've met all the women who are in your DMs.

[B]

Well, yeah, I've met all the. And on the apps, it's the. Yeah, I guess I've met them all. So I. The idea that I. The. The thought of pursuing to then not be excited.

[A]

How do you know you won't be excited?

[B]

I just, I don't know. I, I, that's.

[A]

You might be really excited.

[B]

I'm assuming I won't be, but it's.

[A]

A totally different game.

[B]

But there's no one I'm thinking of that I would pursue that even.

[A]

Well, I think you have to be in the pursuit mindset to get in to even notice those people.

[B]

Got to be a lion. You know, it's like on the Sahara.

[A]

When someone says something's everywhere and then you start seeing it everywhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Maybe it's like when. Now I'm saying, like, people that you would be interested in online that aren't necessarily coming up to you. Maybe you'll notice them more.

[B]

You're right. I know you're right. It's just.

[A]

There's no one you want to pursue?

[B]

No, not even, like, everyone sucks. No, no, I. I mean, like, sometimes you meet someone, you're like, whoa. But you're not, like, I don't know.

[A]

Well, it's funny because you started the sentence off with, I've come to the realization that I'd like to meet someone. Yeah, right. So it's like.

[B]

Well, I've come to the realization that it's important to me.

[A]

It's important to you to meet someone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But then, like, finish the sentence with like. And therefore, I'm.

[B]

And therefore I'm gonna ask someone out. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know. Like, and therefore, what is it gonna, like, be different? Like, what is, like, the realization? Like, what is the realization? Cause and effect.

[B]

Maybe I'm too lazy. Maybe I'm, like, scared of the work.

[A]

So maybe it's like, and therefore I'm gonna put in the work.

[B]

Right. And the work is like a date. But I guess the work is really, like, going after someone that maybe scares me a little bit.

[A]

Yeah. Or maybe isn't interested.

[B]

Isn't interested.

[A]

Chase someone. Just chase someone.

[B]

Boy, that would change this podcast. I'm just a mess. They dump me. I.

[A]

That would be. I mean, I think the listeners would love that.

[B]

Yeah. Which is really says something about our listeners.

[A]

No, I think they would love, like, you putting yourself out there in a. Like, in a way of, you know, rejection.

[B]

I do put myself.

[A]

Rejection is. Rejection is very relatable.

[B]

Yeah. Well, hopefully I get rejected. So people will tell their friends to listen to this podcast so that I can. Yeah, we can continue to do this show. So tell a friend.

[A]

I hope for you to get rejected soon. When you got ghosted, that was great content.

[B]

It was good content.

[A]

And you didn't even really pursue that person.

[B]

Not even. I got ghosted by someone I gave a chance to.

[A]

Now you know how.

[B]

Crazy part.

[A]

Now you know how women feel. I wasn't even into her.

[B]

I wasn't even into her.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Richmond, Virginia. Washington, D.C. milwaukee, Wisconsin. Minneapolis, Minnesota. Chicago, Durham, Charlotte, Fort Lauderdale. We added Miami, Royal Oak, Columbus, Orlando, San Diego. That's my end of year. Philadelphia, Baltimore, Tampa, Atlanta, Charleston, Boston. We added a show. Dallas, Houston, New York, New York. Town hall.

[A]

I'll be there.

[B]

Big show. You'll be there. Toronto, Vancouver, Toronto. Toronto.

[A]

Toronto. Everyone's. Everyone said you were right. Toronto.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not. I knew I was right on that.

[A]

Toronto, Toronto.

[B]

It's a soft tea.

[A]

Let's get in. Let's get into the episode. But I would like to say I think Your October goal should be to be rejected three times.

[B]

Ooh, Rejection.

[A]

Fall. Yes, Reject. Rejection. October.

[B]

Okay, let's do it.

[A]

Because I think that's like a. It's a. You're almost. By the by nature of you being rejected, you will have, like, tried tried, right?

[B]

Yo. No, that's a fair. This is a good idea. I like this idea. Rejection October. I can't wait till it gets super popular when the old realtor woman does it. Yeah, you heard it here in November.

[A]

You heard it here first, actually. Yeah.

[B]

So I'll do that. And listen, I listen. I do give myself some credit. I put myself out here on this platform. Of course I'm vulnerable.

[A]

You are.

[B]

I do a lot of that is very embarrassing for me.

[A]

You do.

[B]

I have made a fool of myself again and again on this show. I will do that this up this month in. And we were taping ahead. So I will update how it goes and I will. Okay, so the challenge is to get.

[A]

Turned down in some way or another. Turned down for a second date. Turned down. Asking someone out, sliding into someone's DMs. They don't answer. That's a rejection.

[B]

Okay, so I will do three attempts at being rejected.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

What if that, like two weeks from now. Jared Freedom harasses young Jared.

[A]

You don't need to harass someone to get rejected.

[B]

I know.

[A]

It's only harassment if you don't. If you're not getting the message.

[B]

Has to block comedian Jared free.

[A]

It's only rejection if you don't get the message. And this could be asking someone out in asking for someone's number in person.

[B]

No, let's.

[A]

Anywhere.

[B]

And I will report that back.

[A]

Please do.

[B]

I will come back here. We'll have rejection. We'll have a moment of rejection, not a moment of reflection. That'll be a segment next week. I'll come because we're done taping for a minute and then we come back for the rest of October. So I now my wheels are turning. Who do I get rejected by?

[A]

Well, now it's a challenge.

[B]

Who can I make a fool of myself in front of?

[A]

Aim high.

[B]

I'm going to aim so high. Okay, X, get ready for my dm. She's married. Okay, there's number one down, two to go home.

[A]

Record starts.

[B]

Jared Freed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ruins a marriage by making them. By making her go. I didn't even think of them.

[A]

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[B]

All right, what are we talking about today?

[A]

All right, we're going to start with Nikki or Picky. Here's how it goes. We love Nicky or picky someone does something. Are you being. Are you being picky or is it truly a dumpable reason?

[B]

Right. Are they a disgusting pig or are you a picky piece of.

[A]

Yeah, that's to be one or the other.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Hey J and J. Feather. Feather. I'm a big fan of the pot. I've been icky or picky for you. A bit of background about me. I'm a 34 year old lawyer from California, hot to trot. I match with this guy on hinge. We chatted on the phone, texted semi consistently for a few days and made a date for tonight. Thursday at 7:30.

[B]

Sounds great baby.

[A]

With the time and everything.

[B]

7:30 Thursday night.

[A]

The pants fit well Love it. I texted him screenshots. See screenshots attached. And he assumed, correctly, that I was tired, but I assured him I was still down for our date. Should we read the. And then y' all finish?

[B]

Okay. You be her, I'll be him.

[A]

Okay. So there have never met. Right.

[B]

Plan for 7:30?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The text begins at 42pm Matched on hinge.

[A]

Chatted on the phone. Texted semi consistently date for Thursday night.

[B]

Here we go. 3:42. Date night tonight. Not a lot to talk about. See, at 7:30. That's really should be it.

[A]

Y. I've had a day, but I'm excited to meet you.

[B]

Oh, what happened? Yeah, see you at 7:30.

[A]

It's just been busy, but I'll see you then.

[B]

If you are too tired, just let me know. I'd rather meet you. Not tired. From my experience, that almost always kills a date.

[A]

No, I'll be fine.

[B]

What is here, Mom?

[A]

I've never seen someone try to get someone to cancel more.

[B]

It's crazy. No, you need sugar. Your blood sugar gets low, you turn into a piece of, like, what this is.

[A]

Yeah. No, no, I'll be fine.

[B]

You sure? You're gonna yawn.

[A]

It's gonna be bad.

[B]

He writes, and then he puts a yawning emoji. I didn't even know that existed. Say, and then a laughing face emoji.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, she's not having it. Her responses are.

[A]

She's starting to get more ir. She realizes what h. What's happening here, right?

[B]

Her.

[A]

She's trying to get her to cancel the date for him.

[B]

Yes. And her exclamation points slowly disappear. She goes from excited to see you to see you there too.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah. And so you. You're gonna yawn. And she writes, yeah. And he writes, yeah, too, to both.

[A]

Lol.

[B]

Well, if you're gonna yawn, let's reschedule. Being that tired kills the mood.

[A]

No, I don't think that's necessary. This exchange has really turned me off, so no need to reschedule.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Okay. Not listening was a turnoff for me. I understand not wanting to go out with someone if they're tired, but if I told him I would be fine, then he should believe it. As far as killing the mood, we were going for drinks and apps for a first date, so I'm not quite sure what mood he expected. His comment really made me feel like he expects me to come fully prepared or not at all. Anyway, I need you to tell me, is this icky or am I picky? Toodles. Attired but still wanting to go out batch.

[B]

It's a nick.

[A]

This guy.

[B]

This guy's a nick.

[A]

I mean, I mean, it's very clear what he's doing.

[B]

It's very clear. He doesn't want to go on the date. He was kind of like on the.

[A]

Fence, and he just really latched on and to had a day. She didn't even say, I'm tired. She said, I've had a day.

[B]

Right? He took that and ran. And he. I would also say that it's even more of an ick that he's treating you like he's known you for 10 years, right?

[A]

You're going to be cranky, right?

[B]

It's like, you know, when you get tired, you like to yawn on dates. Ruins the mood. Like, he's just assumed she's like everyone else that gets tired. You know, he's built a character for her that he has no right to build.

[A]

And this is, like, cowardly, because if he wants to cancel the date, he should just cancel the date, right? Not gaslight her into thinking that she canceled the date, right?

[B]

Because, well, 3:42 day of date, it's.

[A]

Too late for him.

[B]

It's too late. You gotta go on that date.

[A]

Unless.

[B]

Unless I can convince her, right, that she's too tired to go on the date. Yeah, it's. It is a. And also, if he's doing this with day one, this is what you're gonna get.

[A]

I can understand.

[B]

It's not gonna get better.

[A]

I can understand even the first text. I'm giving your her an out. Let's say I don't really. We've never met. I don't really want to go on the date. She said something to sort of imply maybe she would be interested in reschedule. I'm going to give her the out. I would be okay with that.

[B]

Yeah, no, listen, that's a me move. Hey, if you're too tired, we can do this another time. And then they go, no, I'm game. And I'm like, God damn it, now I gotta go.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's the difference between him and I.

[A]

I go, no, you are too tired.

[B]

You cannot leave the house. You're gonna ruin your day tomorrow. Yeah, no, it's, it's crazy. And it's like I give her applause the way she, like, ended it. Like, she's like, no need to reschedule. Like, I'm already seeing this ain't going to fly. Like, I, I, I'm like, happy for her. Like, you had to just bail. It's over.

[A]

Listen, I respect his sentiment of being like, I don't really want to do this because we've all been there. But you've got to.

[B]

You've got to. Or you need to be a man and go, I don't want to go out with you tonight.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Tonight's not a good night for me. Own it or don't.

[A]

This is a losery move.

[B]

Loser. Ick. You're out.

[A]

Before enemies to lovers There was Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy Pride and Prejudice is globally recognized as one of the greatest romance novels ever written, and with Audible you can now fall in love with the Jane Austen classic all over again. The Audible original Pride and Prejudice stars a full cast including Marisa Abella as Elizabeth Bennet and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy, plus Marianne, John Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill Nighy and Glenn Close as Lady Catherine de Bourghois, all bringing brilliant performance to transport you to the Regency era. Marisa Abella brings you inside the stubborn and complicated mind of Elizabeth Bennett as she navigates family expectations, societal pressures and her own misconceptions when she meets the enigmatic Mr. Darcy. The new adaptation is vibrant and modern with an original new score by a Grammy nominated composer. Whether you're new to the story of Pride and Prejudice or want to revisit a cherished favorite, you're in for a new and delightful listening experience. Listen to the new Pride and [e-mail] Jane Austen don't you just love fall?

[C]

The air gets crisp, the leaves start to change and suddenly everything feels a little more magical. Apple picking, pumpkin carving, or just curling up under a blanket with your comfort show. That's what I'm doing. No matter how you spend your fall, Truly Hard Seltzer helps you get the vibe right. Tis the season to celebrate and there's no better companion for that than the Truly Celebration pack. This variety pack features four flavors perfect for every occasion. Peach Parade, Citrus Spark, Truseco Style and Style. And it's limited edition so make sure you try it before it's gone. A lot of fall beverages are heavy, but not Truly. It checks all the boxes. 100 calories, 1 gram of sugar and totally delicious. They're perfect for day drinking without the mid afternoon crash or regrets. And the 5% ABV is just right enough to feel festive, but not so much that you'll end up skipping Sunday brunch. I love a Truly. It is always the first drink I'm looking for anytime I'm at a gathering. They have amazing flavors. Lately I've been into the strawberry lemonade, but you really can't go wrong. And we know that you'll be bringing great vibes this fall. Just make sure someone brings the Truly. You can find Truly in most stores near you or visit trulyhardseltzer.com to use their handy product finder.

[A]

That's trulyhardseltzer.com this episode is sponsored by Abercrombie. If you're one of those people who thinks it's not officially fall until you can break out the sweats, listen up. Abercrombie just dropped their new Sunday sets collection with mix and match sweatsets in their iconic soft AF fabric. Made to make every day feel like Sunday, but without the scaries. It's basically a collection of that cozy fall feeling you can wear all season long. And it's not just women's sweat sets. The men's A andf Essentials collection is designed for everyone. Their viral hoodie, the essential Popover, just came out in new colors and prints. So why not add a big, comfy men's hoodie to your rotation, too? I got a bunch of Abercrombie sweatpants sweatshirts. I have to say, the material is incredibly soft. I've literally been living in it. I'm just so excited for the fall weather. I'm excited for the winter because I'm just excited to, like, hibernate in my Abercrombie sweatset. It is, like, so cute and it's extremely comfortable. Like, it is, like, literally the softest fabric. I cannot recommend it enough. So start building your hoodie and sweatpants collection for the fall now with Abercrombie. Abercrombie drops new arrivals every week. Shop in the app, online or in stores.

[B]

Let's do another.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

J and J benefit subscriber here. Thank you. Sign up for benefits. We are personal. We are vulnerable. We are intimate. You get them every other we or twice a month?

[A]

Twice a month.

[B]

I want to promise what we sometimes.

[A]

There'S five Mondays in a month.

[B]

We don't. We don't do the fifth Monday.

[A]

So there's four Mondays. You get it every other week.

[B]

If there's four Mondays, you're getting them on Monday every other minute. But, you know, those are. And we're doing a couple's court. We're doing another one. We bring couples on the show, which.

[A]

Was a huge hit last time.

[B]

People really loved it. So we're doing another couple. We're going to bring them on and we're going to do them. We're going to them on the air. So we're. No. We're going to.

[A]

No, we're not.

[B]

Get into their argument and judge.

[A]

This doesn't count as a rejection.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, this doesn't count?

[A]

That doesn't count? No.

[B]

Well, I got one done. I already got rejected by Charlie. Exo X. Xcx. I don't even know her name. Xoxo.

[A]

That doesn't count either. Okay.

[B]

Is what's her name married to Dua? She's engaged.

[A]

Kim. Single Kim Kardashian.

[B]

Dua Lipa is so hot. Like, I. She does something to me. Kim does, too.

[A]

I wouldn't use this as your opener.

[B]

You're more showing someone else. Hey, Dua. Is that her name?

[A]

It can't be her real name. Is it.

[B]

Is it really Dua Lipa is quite a name. Albanian.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Never knew that. She's British, though, right? Okay. She's from British.

[A]

I like Dua Lipa. Good music.

[B]

Huge fan. Huge of her music of everything. The whole.

[A]

All of it.

[B]

The universe. Okay.

[A]

All right. Let's.

[B]

Let's. Okay.

[A]

Benefit subscriber here.

[B]

Sorry, I was just dreaming of Dua. My boyfriend recently broke up with me because he wanted to live a nomadic, adventurous lifestyle, which was incompatible with mine. Men will move away to not have to settle down with you.

[A]

I want to live a nomad. I'd rather live in my van than move in with you.

[B]

There it is. His job lets him work remotely. Mine doesn't. His idea of a good time is camping in the mountains with no running water. Mine is more along the lines of clean sheets. Bravo. And indoor plumbing. Although I was heartbroken at first, I genuinely see that this was for the best. Our interest in the line. Here's where I need your take. Since the breakup, he keeps reaching out to brag about how amazing he's doing now that we've broken up. Here are some actual quotes. My skin is glowing from the Portugal side.

[A]

Okay. He said from the Portugal sun, not from not being near you.

[B]

Sure. You're right. I agree.

[A]

It's not like Cory's not comparing it to.

[B]

Oh, my skin is glowing from all the. Not listening to your stupid stories. What a wonderful life this is.

[A]

Seriously, it's crazy.

[B]

I'm drinking absinthe where Hemingway used to. In Barcelona. Yeah, again, that's not.

[A]

Why would you be getting updates from someone who you're not dating?

[B]

I can tell you exactly why. They're lonely.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This guy's, you know, traveling alone. I. Listen, I can speak for one table for one tour. When you travel Alone. That phone is your girlfriend, but you need the phone to talk back to you.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So you kind of like spray texts out here. I think he's sending this to everyone, sir. Like, also because they're friendly and amicable in his mind or whatever they said at the end. And she even says it, we broke up because he wants to live a nomadic lifestyle. No, no. You broke up because he doesn't like you that much.

[A]

Enough to not live a nomadic lifestyle.

[B]

Right. So he. He made a gamble. I can find someone as good as, if not better than you when I'm ready to stop going around in my van.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. And that's really hard to hear, I'm sure, but I got busted. Here's another quote. I got a busted guitar at a Nicaraguan pawn shop, and the locals helped me find some strings. Who needs Amazon Prime? Like, that's, to me, a lonely loser.

[A]

Right? Like, because otherwise you'd be just speaking to the people around you.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Like, updating everyone else about what was happening.

[B]

Right. This is like a glossy finish on why the are you buying a guitar in Nicaragua? Like, are you okay, dude?

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like, I wouldn't be like, like, this is.

[A]

He's justifying. He's basically saying this to himself.

[B]

Right? Exactly. Like, this is sad to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I hear that, I don't hear, like, oh, my God, he's playing by Lamos on the corner with a bunch of Nicaraguans. No, I hear I'm lonely. And I'm trying to let people know how great I'm doing so they don't think I'm doing badly.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Meanwhile, his actual expensive guitar collection is collecting dust back here at home. She's the old, old woman in the shoe. He acts as though he joined the Peace Corps, not like he chose to go backpacking with a fully charged Amex. He thinks he lives on a moral high ground now because he's chosen self imposed poverty. He brags about his minimalist lifestyle like he's reached spiritual enlightenment through wearing the same shirt three days in a row. I'm happy for his Julia Roberts Eat, Pray, Love, Summer of Self discovery, but isn't it weird that he keeps narrating his transformation to the person he dumped? Screenshot attached. Please tell me I'm not crazy for thinking this performative. For thinking this is performative. And at best, passive aggressive. At worst. I Do you want me to be here?

[A]

Yeah. You want to? Yeah. Well, he's the only. He's the only person here. Yeah.

[B]

It's literally a full scroll text Message G. I can't believe I have to be him.

[A]

You want me to be him?

[B]

I'll be him. I, I, I. I'll read it. I'll read it like he wants you to read it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Good morning. We've gone a long while without contact, and I just wanted to reach out and let you know that I still think of you every day, and I hope that you're out there loving life and having fun. The main reason I haven't reached out more often is because I'm honestly still unpacking. There is a lot of emotion in my heart around our relationship, and it's scary for me to poke at it. I'm getting there slowly. I'm in Nicaragua, living in a little surf and yoga retreat near a co working space. My Spanish is getting mas meor. No, but still a long way to go. I found a guitar with no strings and had to pay off a guy to drive to a local town and pick some up for me so I can play. It's all I think about is strumming those guitar strings like I used to strum your body.

[A]

That one's Jared.

[B]

Oh, that's me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I've been hitting the open mics with country songs that nobody knows, but they seem to enjoy. The surf has been incredible, and after several sunburns, I think I'm starting to dance. Sure, my skin burns, but nothing burns like the gonorrhea I contracted. Oh, no, that's. I would love a little update on your life if you don't mind sharing. Smiley face. I hope you had a wonderful time in Mexico and are enjoying the San Diego summer. Sending love.

[A]

No, honestly, like, this guy stinks.

[B]

He's horrific.

[A]

Yes. Okay. This is, like, a crazy thing to text to the person that you dumped. First of all, it's like, clearly for him, it's for him to keep in. He's asking her to write to him so that he has someone that he knows likes him.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Even though he's broken up with her and he's left, he's basically wanting all of the. The perks of a girlfriend, which is like, the emotional attention relationship without any of the commitment and the. And being able to be open to hooking up with anyone he wants. It's crazy to assume anyone gives a fuck about your itinerary when they're not dating you.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Or even, like, anyone you even know, like, would. I wouldn't.

[B]

No one cares.

[A]

I wouldn't just randomly text anyone that I'm even friends with just, like, things that they didn't ask to know.

[B]

And you especially wouldn't write it as if it was the newsletter a dad writes about his family during Christmas time. Like, the language is all right.

[A]

The jokeiness of it.

[B]

The politeness of a lie when you end something with someone is that you know it's a lie and you abide by the honest truth of it. So, like, when you end something with someone and you say, it's the timing, I need to go get this out of my system. I gotta go travel. That's a lie. But you're saying it to soften the blow of, hey, I don't care about this relationship enough to work on it. I don't want the responsibility of a relationship, so I'm opting out. So if you're going to use that lie, you also have to, like, live by the I gotta be respectful of someone that I just ended things with.

[A]

Well, that's not the lie he gave. The lie he gave was. Or not. I mean, the reason he gave was.

[B]

I want to live a nomadic life.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So that's.

[A]

Which you don't like because you're yawning. You're gonna yawn. If you come with me, you're gonna be too tired.

[B]

Well, it's. Oh, you. Oh, you. I'm gonna go live a nomadic lifestyle. Oh, you have to be in the office. Huh?

[A]

I guess it's not gonna work out.

[B]

Yeah, I guess we gotta break up. And then it's like he's actually living as if that's the reason they broke up.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's the annoying part. Like, if he knew. What he's not admitting to is a breakup happened. And sure, at the end, we talked about how our lifestyles are different, but you made a choice, and it was to be without me.

[A]

Right. And I think that's what she needs to respond to that.

[B]

Right?

[A]

I think she could. Here. If she wants to be, like, nice, she could respond, hey, sounds like you're having a great time. We're broken up. We're not together. So, like, we were. I really don't need or actually really even want an update on everything you're doing. It's nice that you think about me every day, but again, I don't really need to know that because we're broken up.

[B]

Well, that's why she. That's why he's such a piece of.

[A]

I think about you every day is a dick thing to say.

[B]

Well, even so, you're forcing her to be like, the. I hate when someone forces me to be the. And they get to Be this like.

[A]

Oh, what do you mean? I'm just telling you about the trip.

[B]

It's like. No, no, no, you're not. You're bragging to me.

[A]

We always had so much fun, right?

[B]

Yeah. Off. You force me to be a dick and be real and you get to be like, oh, I guess if you feel that way. If you're so. Because he could really take advantage of this. It sounds like he might.

[A]

He's ask. He's literally asking her for updates.

[B]

Here's my update. I am currently sucking the dick of a different guy.

[A]

In the autumnal air.

[B]

Right. There's a nice crisp. You know, I've.

[A]

My Spanish isn't that good, but we.

[B]

Call it mas mejor. I'm sucking a dick of a guy who's masma more than you.

[A]

Mucho grande.

[B]

Yeah, that's what he's right.

[A]

My Spanish isn't great.

[B]

Does that translate? Yes.

[A]

As you would say in Nicaragua.

[B]

Yeah. As the Nicaraguans say, mas penis. She could have fun with this if she really wanted to because he is such a piece of. I, I, I just hate like this is to me, like, who makes you angry? Like this version of person makes me angry. This, like this. I'm a good person.

[A]

I agree. Well, he's the worst kind of douchebag.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because he's the douchebag who doesn't even think that he's a douchebag or he's not admitting. Yeah, right.

[B]

I think he knows he's a liar.

[A]

That's the worst part. I mean, if that's true, that's really bad to me.

[B]

Poor kids come up to me and I give them a piece of my bread cuz I'm just so nice.

[A]

There's a certain kind of that actually thinks he's like a very nice guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is striking me as I agree it's the worst kind because it's like there are people who are like dicks, but they kind of know it.

[B]

Well, performative is is the word she used. And it's the thing that makes people really angry in today's world because it's really easy to be performative these days. You know, you can build your own brand online.

[A]

I don't think it's passive aggressive. I think it's maybe condescending.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

More than passive aggressive, it's definitely performative. Yeah.

[B]

You know they're liking my songs at the open mic night.

[A]

Who asked you?

[B]

Yeah, go yourself. You know, I'm really killing it at the open mics. Off.

[A]

No, he's using. And that's the, the other part that's I would find infuriating for her is that he's using her.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

He ended it with her, and now he's using her at the expense of her emotional well being. So that he doesn't feel lonely.

[B]

So that he doesn't feel like it. Yeah, he spent time on that. He's waiting for the, the gift to come back. And I do believe he's sending it to many people. Like, that's his whole message. Yeah. He's at a, you know, he's texting you and 10 other people while he has two more beers at a Nicaraguan TGI Fridays. So we solved dating again.

[A]

We did it. We'll be back next week.

[B]

Boom.