U Up? Podcast: “Make a Follow-Up Date or F*ck Off”

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Release Date: February 26, 2025

Episode Overview

Jordana and Jared bring their signature wit and honesty to the realities of dating, debunking old tropes, sharing personal and listener stories, and providing practical advice for “first-date sex anxiety,” follow-up etiquette, and the hilarious pitfalls of modern romance. Throughout, they emphasize self-worth, clear communication, and the freedom to walk away from mismatches.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Super Bowl Hangovers, Suburban Ubers, and Adult Friend Groups

[03:00 – 09:00]

• Jordana discusses the logistics of social drinking in the suburbs, leading to a playful debate with Jared about the Uber-vs-drive dilemma.

• Jared jokes about moving through adult life, doctors' appointments, and the burden of being a single adult:

  “Men need wives… I think I need an assistant. I think I’m in the market for assistant to help me through.” (07:47, Jared)

• Conversation detours into feeling intimidated (or not) by friends with “real” jobs (lawyers, doctors), setting the stage for later conversations about professional pride and comparison in dating.

2. YouTube Millennials vs. Gen Z Support

[16:10 – 18:22]

• The hosts discuss the different ways generational cohorts support creators online, noting Gen Z’s enthusiasm for liking, commenting, and sharing.
• Jared:

  “They were raised on the idea that a like, a comment, a share matters maybe very little to you, but it means the world to us.” (16:51)

3. “Women Aren’t Funny” Dating Trope & Texting Faux Pas

[20:02 – 26:49]

• Jared shares a Hinge dating story where a woman, after playful banter, texts: “By the way, I’m just as funny as you. Not famous though.”

  • He found this off-putting and saw it as insecurity masquerading as a compliment, leading him to stop responding.
  • They discuss the perennial stereotype of men being “intimidated” by funny women or those with thriving careers, and how these dynamics play out in dating.
  • Key quote:

    “It’s my life. …The ultimate insecurity—someone’s profession, that they go to every day, that is part of who they are, that you couldn’t just let them have that.” (27:19, Jared)

• The discussion frames broader advice: “Just be you.” Don’t try to match or one-up someone’s defining trait—especially as a strategy to get them to like you.

4. Listener Email: First-Date Sex & Commitment Anxieties

[30:11 – 41:43]

• Listener writes: “We hit it off… spent the night together. How do I say I’m not just looking to hook up but for a committed relationship? Or did I mess up by hooking up on the first date?” (30:11)

• Jordana and Jared reassure: first-date sex is not disqualifying.

  • Jared: “Let’s take the win… and let’s just sit in the now for two seconds.” (31:47)
  • Emphasis on standards—communicate your needs as they arise, and don’t live in fear of “messing up” your chances by having sex.
  • Jordana: “If it doesn’t work out with this person, it’s not because she slept with him on the first date. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway.” (39:42)

• Practical Advice:

  • Don’t frame sex as bait or a “card” to control the relationship progression.
  • Focus on how the person treats you after. If their behavior changes (cancels, stops making concrete plans), express disappointment honestly.
  • Standard check-ins: Are your needs being met? If not, speak up.

5. “Shooting Your Shot” & When to Reach Out

[52:52 – 59:35]

• Listener describes making the first move with a man at a concert. They hit it off, make out, exchange numbers, but she hasn’t heard from him.
• She’s hesitant to reach out again, worrying she’ll “do all the work.”
• Hosts clarify:
  • “Sometimes shooting your shot misses. That’s why it’s called shooting.” (54:44, Jared)
  • Encourage sending a low-pressure check-in text—then move on.

    “After that decision’s been made, you don’t know what’s going on in his life… It’s really easy to be your boyfriend for a night… The minute you’re put face to face with your time and energy, you make decisions differently.” (56:41, Jared)

  • If you don’t get a direct plan to meet (instead of endless chat), it’s a sign to move on.

6. Awkward Encounters: The Birthday Cheese Grater

[44:41 – 51:05]

• Listener recounts a boyfriend gifting her a cheese grater for her birthday via a scratch-off ticket game—then putting the other wrapped gifts back in his car and refusing to give them to her, leaving them untouched for months.
• The hosts are baffled by the strict “rules are rules” attitude and speculate:
  • Was there ever more than a cheese grater? Was this a “Saw”-level mind-game?
  • “You’re just another toe to him.” (70:35, Jared, about the foot guy, but it fits this segment’s vibe!)

7. Red Flag or Dealbreaker?

[61:00 – end]

Selected Highlights:

• Legally Married but Not Divorced:

  • Listener’s mother dates a man who is separated (both dating others) but has “no plans” to legally divorce for financial reasons.
  • Context matters: If you’re looking for marriage, dealbreaker; if not, maybe just a red flag.
  • “So many people at this stage of life… a lot of assets.… you want companionship, someone to travel with.” (63:29, Jared)

• Foot Guy:

  • A date takes off his shoes and socks in a bar and pushes her to do the same. Ultimately, he’s evasive on plans, but is “being foot guy” a dealbreaker?
  • Jordana: “It depends what the bar was. …I wouldn’t be able to take him anywhere. …I don’t want to date foot guy.” (69:04)

• Flirting via Bot:

  • Hinge match confesses he used a chat bot to talk until they traded numbers.
  • Jordana: “Unless the conversation was the best I’ve ever had and now it’s all a lie… but he told me before the date, gave me a chance to go out.” (76:26)

• Hair Tie with Hair:

  • Jordana presents a hair tie tangled with hair and asks if that’s a dealbreaker.
  • Jared is grossed out in the moment, but admits he’d barely notice while dating—“Men are like bees; we only see the shape of.” (80:00)

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Men need wives… I think I need an assistant.” — Jared, 07:47
• “If you are funny, you are funny.” — Jared, 21:43
• “I want to be funny with my partner, not at my partner.” — Jared, 23:44
• “It’s not my job to teach you.” — Jared, 27:41
• “You don’t even know if you like him.” — Jordana, 37:42 (on post-hookup anxiety)
• “Sometimes shooting your shot misses. That’s why it’s called shooting.” — Jared, 54:44
• “Big text with no plan is buying time… for a weekend text to hook up.” — Jared, 59:35
• “Rules are rules.” — Repeated throughout Cheese Grater story, 46:20+
• “You’re just another toe to him.” — Jared, 70:35 (on foot fetish date)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Super Bowl/Drinking/Life Logistics: [03:00 – 09:00]
• Millennials vs. Gen Z Online Support: [16:10 – 18:22]
• Funny-Bantery Hinge Faux Pas: [20:02 – 26:49]
• First Date Sex/“Did I Ruin It?”: [30:11 – 41:43]
• Awkward Gift Encounter: [44:41 – 51:05]
• Shoot Your Shot & What Next: [52:52 – 59:35]
• Red Flag or Dealbreaker (Married/Separated): [61:00 – 66:14]
• Foot Guy Date: [66:16 – 72:57]
• Flirting via Bot: [72:57 – 78:06]
• Hair Tie Hygiene: [78:06 – 81:58]

Tone & Final Thoughts

Playful, honest, at times raunchy, but rooted in a desire to empower listeners—especially women—to honor their standards, trust their gut, and approach dating as a two-way street. The show delivers laughs, group therapy energy, and genuinely useful advice:
Make the follow-up date, or f*ck off.