Mom Kisses Son, Major Ick

Summary

U Up? – "Mom Kisses Son, Major Ick"

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: October 22, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Jordana and Jared take on some of the dating world's most delightfully cringey topics — from wild family boundaries to awkward relationship misunderstandings. They dive into listener emails about being falsely accused in a Facebook gossip group, dissect the “mom kisses son on the lips” dilemma, and debate birthday etiquette and partner expectations. As always, they bring humor, sharp observations, and unexpected takes on what’s “ick” and what’s just picky in modern dating.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Welcoming Fall & Small Talk (01:19–06:56)

• The hosts banter about sweater weather, adulthood markers like switching to hot coffee, and regional weather bragging, with Jared noting the “suckers up north” talk now that he's in Florida.
• Jared gives a brief personal update about buying a new, more grown-up home, plus anecdotes about his mom's intense home-scouting style—a theme that sets up family discussions later.

Quote:
"I brought my parents to like sniff it out... Give me an extra set. Yeah, it's like bringing a drug sniffing dog. Bringing my mom." – Jared (06:45)

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Expertise & The Internet’s "Fake Experts" Problem (07:23–11:46)

• Discussion about knowing your "lane," resisting fake expertise online, and the perils for influencers who try to be all things to all people.
• Jared: “The skill of being an influencer is knowing your lane... It is hard. That is a difficult thing.”

Memorable Moment:
Their riff about the value of real expertise versus internet “experts,” and how staying in your lane as an influencer is a valuable (often ignored) skill.

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Dating Content, Value, & Humor in Advice (11:47–13:35)

• The hosts explain how U Up? tries to offer both humor and utility, agreeing that content needs to be useful, funny, and insightful — not just viral.

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Pet Problems & Partnership Dynamics (13:35–15:39)

• Jordana discusses her dog Ronnie’s health issues, honesty in sharing pet care duties, and family blame games.
• The ongoing dialogue about family roles subtly ties into later topics about boundaries and enmeshment.

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90s Nostalgia Interlude (16:12–22:00)

• Jared references the TGIF TV block and its theme song, exposing an age-gap between the hosts, and prompting nostalgia about 90s sitcoms and kids' shows.
• Brief musings on Sesame Street’s fading cultural presence and the weirdness of the “Dinosaurs” TV show finale.
• This playful segment lightens the mood and showcases their natural comedic chemistry.

Quote:
"This is the divide in our age... 36 and 40 is knowing this song." – Jared (16:43)

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Listener Emails & Dating Dilemmas

1. Accused in the "Are We Dating the Same Guy?" Facebook Group (29:24–42:49)

The Situation:

• A listener matched with a guy who turned out to be cast on a Bravo reality show.
• After a few dates, he accused her (twice!) of posting about him in the “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Facebook group, based on a tip from another woman he was seeing. She was innocent but became collateral damage in dating paranoia.

Host Take:

• Both agree: The issue wasn’t a misunderstanding, but how the guy handled it (suspiciously and defensively).
• Jared introduces his "Dog vs. Squirrel" dating metaphor:
  • Dog: a guy who really wants to date you—won’t get scared off by drama.
  • Squirrel: a guy just looking for sex—will bolt at signs of trouble or commitment.
• The Facebook drama simply exposed his intentions and forced a decision.

Quote:
"There's nothing you can do to scare a guy away that wants to date you first... Guys who want to fuck you are like squirrels. Guys who want to date you are like dogs." – Jared (37:22)

Larger Insight:

• These kinds of "misunderstandings" are usually a cover for a decision — not a reason a real connection disappears.
• The guy is prepping for reality TV, keen to avoid scandal, but his paranoia and aversion to commitment are crystal clear red flags.

2. Icky or Picky? – Mom Kissing Son on the Lips (45:05–59:08)

The Situation:

• A listener ended things with her boyfriend because he and his mom kissed on the lips, sometimes for a few seconds, accompanied by overly affectionate gestures (thigh squeezing, face holding).
• She questions if this is an “ick” or if she’s being too picky, detailing her research into cultural norms and the conclusion that no broad culture really supports adult parent-child lip-kissing as “normal.”

Host Debate:

• Jordana: Firmly in the “ick” camp, calling it boundary-crossing and indicative of unhealthy enmeshment.
• Jared: Plays devil’s advocate, suggesting if the family is healthy and loving and the only weird thing is the lip kissing, maybe it’s just “picky.”
• They joke about ranking familial weirdness (kissing, thigh-squeezing, being called “hottie,” etc.).

Quotes:
"If you can start a count once it's happening, it's too long." – Jordana (48:07)
"I'm more bitter ex than I am on bad family because she's writing in about her ex." – Jared (50:00)
"Any man who's so close to his mother that... he tells me to off, basically—that's a man who's too close to his mom." —Jordana (56:40)

Resolution:

• Jordana sees it as a dealbreaker for what it represents about boundaries.
• Jared suggests it could be survivable ("picky"), but freely admits most people would find it a major ick.

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3. Birthday Mishap – Does “Happy Birthday” Matter? (79:56–86:42)

The Situation:

• A listener is seeing someone who attended her family birthday celebration, but forgot her actual birthday the next day (texted at 11:58pm). She admits she was hurt.
• The broader issue: lack of effort is a sign of his overall commitment level.

Host Take:

• Jared downplays the specific “Happy Birthday” miss—since he was at the party—but acknowledges the real issue: the relationship is unbalanced, and she feels underappreciated because she's doing most of the work (traveling, planning).
• If he wanted to invest, he’d have shown more effort; his lack of birthday enthusiasm is just a symptom.

Quote:
"He gets to walk around, be this great guy when... he's not being a great guy. When he can just end at any time." – Jared (84:39)

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4. Q4 Ultimatum: Proposal or Dealbreaker? (67:17–75:16)

The Situation:

• A woman in a long-term relationship wonders whether to break up if her boyfriend doesn’t propose on their planned couples' trip, especially as she’s planning to buy a house for both of them.
• He had a decent “excuse” last year (accident, surgery), but now she’s worried she’s being taken for granted.

Host Perspective:

• Both agree: You shouldn’t have to set quotas or deadlines for engagement (“engagement should happen after a series of conversations, not as a complete surprise” – Jordana).
• If you’re keeping mental score of exchanges (e.g., house = ring), something’s off.
• The lack of communication is the real red flag, not just the absence of the ring.

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5. Red Flag or Dealbreaker: Arguing with Restaurant Staff (87:10–92:06)

The Situation:

• A date tries to get them into a fully booked restaurant without reservations; when refused, he argues with the staff about visible empty tables.

Host Opinions:

• Both see it as a red flag (Jordana: “No reservation is already a red flag”) with Jared noting, “making someone’s life miserable to help your own is not a good way to go.”

Bonus:

Jared jokes about pretending to have made a reservation and faking it at the host stand—another “ick” for Jordana (“now not only do you not have a reservation, but you’re a liar”).

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Humorous & Memorable Moments

On Families that are “Too Close”
"Big make out fam. That’s us." – Jared, tongue in cheek (47:44)

On Married Women Giving Unsolicited Advice
"Nothing sounds more married woman at a younger bar... If a married woman told me to look up from my phone at a bar, I would roll my eyes so hard they may not stop rolling for the rest of my life." – Jared (60:01)

On Signs a Woman is “Wondering” about Relationship Status
"The ‘we should’ woman is not breaking up with herself. She’s making you do it. I respect it." – Jordana (78:16)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:19 – Fall small-talk, moving updates, family involvement in big decisions
• 07:23 – The expertise discussion (“stay in your lane”)
• 13:35 – Jordana’s pet woes & household blame-sharing
• 16:12 – TGIF theme song & 90s nostalgia
• 29:24 – Main story: Accused in “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” group
• 45:05 – The “Mom Kisses Son on the Lips” email and debate
• 67:17 – Red Flag/Deal Breaker: Proposal ultimatum
• 79:56 – Ignored birthday — what’s the big deal?
• 87:10 – Red Flag/Deal Breaker: Complaining at a restaurant

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Tone & Vibe

The episode strikes a balance between irreverent humor and genuine empathy. Jared and Jordana riff easily, offering practical advice and witty metaphors (“Dog vs. Squirrel” typology), and aren’t afraid to call out red flags. Both hosts push each other’s thinking, especially on sensitive issues like family boundaries. Their open, conversational vibe makes the episode both entertaining and insightful for anyone navigating the complex world of modern relationships.

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Final Thoughts

For listeners:
If you’ve ever wondered whether your icks are justified or if a misunderstanding really tanked a connection, this episode will validate your gut, give you new language for the “dog vs. squirrel” you’re dating, and (probably) gross you out with the family kissing debate.

Sound off in the comments:
Is kissing parents on the lips ever NOT an ick? Which dealbreaker made you cringe?

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Transcript

[Jordana Abraham]

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[Jared Freid]

Me so much if someone came up to me and said that. Let's, let's talk about it. That would really annoy me. Get off our phone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that the male smile?

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Hello and welcome back to the UF podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[Jared Freid]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? Good to see you.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm great. It's a nice, beautiful fall day.

[Jared Freid]

Crisp. Crisp it is. Crisp. That's the only word you could ever use for today.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's one of those days where you're like, this is exciting. I'm glad I can bring out my sweater.

[Jared Freid]

Yes. And bring out the clothing that you feel best in.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. But you kind of like also know that you almost like, I almost feel bad about being like I'm over the warmth because I'm going to miss it so much.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know.

[Jared Freid]

No, I hear you. It's like summer's gone enough that no more summer's coming back.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And then winter's coming. The darkness, the, the, the clocks changing is going to be soon. We're going to be back in that Mode of like 4pm darkness stuck in the house and. But it's, but we still got Time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Let's live in the moment, you know?

[Jared Freid]

Live in the moment. I think, you know, to me, January 2nd is when you really gotta like, you know, put the blanket over you and disappear for a while. And then like once you're into the worst month of the year, February, that's really when we should really be talking about the sadness.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Right now that's when things get really depressing.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. This is still wonderful Sunday time of year. Like great Sunday. Smell the air. It's crisp, light jacket, hot coffee.

[Jordana Abraham]

Hot coffee.

[Jared Freid]

Are you iced all year round person or.

[Jordana Abraham]

I used to be. Now I sw once the weather probably goes like in the 40s.

[Jared Freid]

I think that's like the measure of.

[Jordana Abraham]

Adulthood to switch to hot coffee.

[Jared Freid]

I, I'm with you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I was always iced all year round. And then I get like a little bit of something in me that needs to just chill with a hot one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, now that you live in Florida, are you going to be staying iced all year round?

[Jared Freid]

No, no, I, I, I'm still like the Florida seasons thing right now. You think it's good here right now? Florida, I mean, this is the time of year that like this is the time hurricane season. I listen, if it is, I don't even know it because I, I'm too.

[Jordana Abraham]

Doesn't exist in your world.

[Jared Freid]

No. Up here.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

It's always fall. It is. It's the time of year where my dad would be like, can you believe we used to, you know, be sitting in the darkness in the freezing cold. Like it is the time of year that it's like.

[Jordana Abraham]

You gloat.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. And I will say this.

[Jordana Abraham]

There was a suckers up north.

[Jared Freid]

There's a lot of suckers up north talk in Florida. And I would say the one that I was told to like keep it down on is that the summer's not that bad.

[Jordana Abraham]

Stop saying that.

[Jared Freid]

Well, to never tell people that the summer's in Florida. Like everyone's like, they're so hot. Why would you Everyone to me, when I was like, I'm going to go for the summer. They're like the hot and the heat. It's going to be. I said to someone, I was like, it's actually not that bad. They go, we don't talk about that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like it's not that bad.

[Jordana Abraham]

Cuz you want other people to not move there.

[Jared Freid]

Right. You want the offseason. You kind of like the quietness of Florida in the summer. Like to me like New York City is a hot box. Like it, it, it gets hot and sweaty Here I didn't really feel the difference, but I also leave a lot. So like, again, my experience with New York and with Florida is in the context of, you know, flying away for a good part of the month. So I might be seeing the best in all places, you know, like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, which is a nice way to live, you know, so just traveling.

[Jordana Abraham]

To the places with the best weather every season.

[Jared Freid]

Just going from.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Beach to beach. So. Yeah. I mean, how do you want to.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you want to talk about your home or. Not yet.

[Jared Freid]

My home.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not yet.

[Jared Freid]

Well, I'm buying a home. A home.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm excited for you.

[Jared Freid]

Not a house.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, you've already owned a home. So how does this feel different? How does this feel from your used to own an apartment in Harlem?

[Jared Freid]

It feels different because this feels very livable from the standpoint of like just it has room, you know, it's definitely like a more adult, a more adult, a lifestyle place. I kind of came to the decision, you know, my, I brought my parents in to look at it. My mom and dad are just like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did your mom call the realtor? That's a joke from our subscription episodes.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, the. She calls everyone. She almost made a realtor like quit their job. She was asking so many questions and it was like this young girl who was like the assistant, I like that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Test them out.

[Jared Freid]

She went, I mean like it's, I.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like to do that too to like with people. Like, what are the countertops?

[Jared Freid]

Well, right. That's kind of what my mom is. She goes, well, she goes, well, you know, what are the countertops? And the, the girl who like was just new, she goes, I don't know. And then she goes, well, do the windows, are they storm proof? I don't know. And then she would go, she'll go, does the Gym, is it 24 hours? I don't know. And then my mom started going, she doesn' know anything. I mean, she starts laughing at the girl. And I fell for her because she's.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, honestly, your mom's right. If you don't know. You can't be showing an apartment or a house if you don't know anything about it. Otherwise why are you, why are you getting a cut?

[Jared Freid]

I this is my point for why, like when people are like, oh, you know, parents too involved in, you know, the kids lives, you know, my parents, I didn't bring my parents to like tell me what to do. I brought them to like sniff it out. Give me an extra set. Yeah, it's like bringing a drug sniffing dog Bringing my mom.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

She sniffs around.

[Jordana Abraham]

Bring your lawyer.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, She's. She's gonna see shit that I would never see, but I would agree with.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

That's the problem. It's like, you know, there's this big trend of, like, divorcing your parents on TikTok where these miserable people, they never look happy. It's always a miserable fuck who's like, I have gone no contact with my mom for 30 years. And I'm like, I do think that that's a person who just can'. Handle the good and the bad. Like, you get the good with the bad with parents. Like, you get them making comments while you eat during dinner, but also you can bring them to your home that.

[Jordana Abraham]

You'Re buying to be like, radical truth telling.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And it's like, you, you know, if you get to hear from anyone, you might as well hear from them.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, it's true. That was really helpful for me. My, you know, I have a. My friend Liza is a stylist, and when I got married, she came to all my dress fittings with me.

[Jared Freid]

Liza did?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. And I, you know, I'd put on the dress and then she would be like, directing. Like, it needs. It needs to be cut here and there and add the material here. And I'm like, I would never have thought of any of that shit.

[Jared Freid]

It's knowing what you don't do well and not hating yourself for it. Like, bringing in. Because some people, the experts. Bring in the experts. I believe in expertise. I love an expertise. I think that's like the, you know, the, the annoying part about the Internet is everyone's an expert. It's like, no, no, get out of the way. Give me the real people who have real interest in this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, the annoying part about the Internet also is that people want to be an expert in everything.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So it's like everyone is giving you a link to a sweater.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, it's like, I don't.

[Jordana Abraham]

I want a link from a sweat to a sweater from a person who knows about fashion. I don't want a link to a sweater from the online psychologist.

[Jared Freid]

Like, do you? Well, this was like, during the pandemic, I remember, you know, I went to Daily with the J Train podcast during the pandemic, and I remember one of the bits I was doing was like, my Covid rant of the day. And I remember the first rant I did, it's probably still on my YouTube somewhere, was basically like, do what you like. Now is not the time to be an expert in you know, vaccines and sicknesses. I guess I was. I was before my time. You know, now is not the time to go outside of what you do. I was like, if you are a butt model, we need your butt right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Now more than ever in your lane.

[Jared Freid]

Stay.

[Jordana Abraham]

But, yes, you know, we need.

[Jared Freid]

I need this right now. I'm going through a tough time. I'm going to be hugging your ass cheeks more tightly than I was a month ago. So, yeah, we want experts. Like, that's. You know, when people ask, you know, I get asked a lot, like, for my opinion on things that are not what I have an opinion on normally. Yeah, yeah, you do, too. And you, like, whether it be political or whatever's going, mostly political.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like, I'm coming to New York next week. What are the best.

[Jared Freid]

I hate restaurants.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm like, one. Do you listen to the show? I never talk about any new restaurants.

[Jared Freid]

I do, but I.

[Jordana Abraham]

You do. That's what I'm saying. You do. But, like, just because, like, dude, I'm not an ex. Like, ask anyone else, right?

[Jared Freid]

And there's places for this.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's like, literally experts who write about these things.

[Jared Freid]

There's people begging you for their attention.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

On the restaurant scene in New York, like, literally made their name. New York restaurant scene.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, that's also how an influencer becomes monster, though, is when they're like. When they get asked about these things, and then in their head, they're like, I'm good at this because four people asked me about it. When four people out of 20,000 is.

[Jared Freid]

It's. The skill of being an influencer is knowing your lane. I think that's a big. Because it is hard. It is.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're like, people want to know.

[Jared Freid]

People want to know. Look at. I got 10 people. People have been asking. No, 10 people asked you out of 100,000.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

You know, and it's. It's hard. That is a difficult thing. I don't know if people know how difficult that is to, like, resist temptation. Also to resist thinking that it's. You're so great because you've been told you were great by 10 people, you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Know, and everyone likes something.

[Jared Freid]

I do the question box on Instagram, and I always, you know, what time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Does your show start? Is there parking at the venue?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that stuff I ignore. But when I do answer a question on Instagram, I always try to come down to like, what's the point here? Are you funny? Was there. Did you bring the Jared Freed value to this?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Do you understand me? What I'm. Or almost. Do you understand what the value that you bring is?

[Jared Freid]

Right. And if I'm not being funny and stupid, there might be a colonel advice. I think this show is a good example. We. We. We give, you know, we. We give our opinion on stuff and we try to be valuable to someone who's maybe looking to be heard and seen, but we're guys. Were you funny?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Did it make someone's day? You know, that's why I get so. I mean, we. We both do get frustrated with, like, dating content. Like, it wasn't interesting, it wasn't thoughtful, it wasn't funny. What the Was this?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

And it's got, you know, a billion views because maybe. Maybe we're idiots. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

We might be.

[Jared Freid]

Who knows?

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't know.

[Jared Freid]

This always comes back to maybe we're idiots. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Will, are we stupid? No. No. He's like, that's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

It depends on the day.

[Jared Freid]

Just ask anyone who works for the show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You'll get an honest answer. That's. That's perfect. So what else is going on? Over sharing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Over sharing.

[Jared Freid]

Podcast keeps going.

[Jordana Abraham]

Listen up. Every. Every Tuesday, you can subscribe to that. We get similar to our show. We get two bonus episodes a month.

[Jared Freid]

Subscribe to this show? Yeah. I got a new home to pay for, so please. And. And I'm on the road if you're. How's Ronnie? Is Ronnie better?

[Jordana Abraham]

He had another accident last night.

[Jared Freid]

This dog. I'm hoping he feels better out of my home. I. I don't know if I'd be.

[Jordana Abraham]

My poor feel for Ronnie. I was. It's funny because I was just starting to think I've really got the hang of this thing.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Just when you think you've got it. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm like, we are a family. I've got. And now I'm like, oh, my God, you're ruining my life again.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, what are you going to.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, I'm going to get. I'm assuming it's from. Because I haven't given him anything else to eat besides the thing. So I'm assuming it's from this vaccine that he got. So I'm going to wait it out a couple of days and see if he.

[Jared Freid]

What does Mike say about all the shitting that's going on? Is he, like, loves. Is he like. Well, is he like, I told, you know, you let him in the bed. Like, is there blame being given for the training of this dog?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, there's no blame I don't think there's any. There's no, like. I mean, it's a. It's clearly like he's sick.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

It's bald. Really?

[Jared Freid]

I know. Listen, I. Listen, I. There's a little bit of, like. All right, this one would be blaming my dad. My dad would be blaming my mom. They'd blame me for never taking care of the dog. It would just be a horrific cycle of, you know, of, you know, negativity.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, we try not to do that.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, that's a good house. Good for you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? There is a little bit of, like, when it's the middle of the night, it's like sometimes a little bit of a standoff where it's like, who can pretend to be sleeping the longest while we need to.

[Jared Freid]

I'm good at that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, he. So is he. So is he. But. And I'll usually take the first run, but then if it happens again, I'll. I'm gonna wake him up.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't care if I'm already up. I'm like. You go, all right, your turn.

[Jared Freid]

Your turn.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Well, I hope Ronnie's. Well, we all pray for Ronnie. Hashtag pray for Ronnie. Hashtag no more shits.

[Jordana Abraham]

And it's tough because every time I take him to the vet, they feel his balls, and I have to listen to them. Every time we take him to the vet, tell me that he has. They can only feel one, and it's pretty small.

[Jared Freid]

They bring it up every time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Every time. I'm like, same guy.

[Jared Freid]

He's right here.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, different people, different bet.

[Jared Freid]

So they check every time.

[Jordana Abraham]

They check every time. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So the ball.

[Jordana Abraham]

Because he's just sitting there while they're, like, fondling his balls, which are. And then they're telling. Announcing to the room that they only feel one, and it's quite small.

[Jared Freid]

Do they have any openings for me to go and get my balls? Here's my other dog.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm just like, yeah, this was. Was. Was pretty hot, too. I was like, ron, a chick. Yeah. Women can be doctors, too.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, chick vet. Better make sure Ronnie goes. He's the second opinion. Yeah, you could take him in. I. What? She. What was she. Was she young? What. What's your deal? What's her Instagram? Would I date a vet?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, of course.

[Jared Freid]

That's.

[Jordana Abraham]

Probably has a few animals. Are you. I would imagine.

[Jared Freid]

But they also know how to take care of them.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's true.

[Jared Freid]

They're not gonna have a bunch of Ronnies running around.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, my God. It's not Due to any sort of issue. Anything I've taken care of before?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, it's not bad. Dogs.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's.

[Jared Freid]

He's a good boy.

[Jordana Abraham]

You leave my Ronnie alone.

[Jared Freid]

I'm sorry. Ronnie, Thoughts and prayers. We hope you get everything.

[Jordana Abraham]

I can't wait for you to meet him one day.

[Jared Freid]

I'm so excited to meet him when I stay at the house. Yes. When are we doing this?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. I'm hoping he doesn't have diarrhea that night. Oh.

[Jared Freid]

I will be reporting on Ronnie's behavior.

[Jordana Abraham]

I cannot wait.

[Jared Freid]

If you're listening right now, I AM in Washington, D.C. the nation's capital. Okay. I got a show here Friday night. Friday night and the moon is right we're gonna have some fun show you how it's done tgif. Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

That poem.

[Jared Freid]

You don't know that poem, Maya Angelou. You don't know what I just did.

[Jordana Abraham]

What did you just do?

[Jared Freid]

You don't know it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did I miss something?

[Jared Freid]

Am I crazy? Sing it again, Jared. It's Friday night and the mood is right Gonna have some fun show you how it's done tgif. You don't know that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that the TGI Friday's theme song?

[Jared Freid]

I am. I can't. This is the divide in our age. This is.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is the divide between 36 and 40.

[Jared Freid]

36 and 40 is knowing this song.

[Jordana Abraham]

How old are you guys?

[Jared Freid]

Do you guys know the song?

[Jordana Abraham]

33.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, look up TGIF theme song. Yes. On ABC, this was the theme song to TGIF. The lineup on Friday nights, 8 to 10, they'd have sitcoms, Family Matters, Full House, Boy Meets World, America's God.

[Jordana Abraham]

I watched all those shows, but they had.

[Jared Freid]

It was hitting with a song, and it was like a block. Can you play the music? Yeah. Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I didn't know that was. Yeah. Dinosaurs. Did you ever watch.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, the dinosaur show. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That was a mama. Yeah. That was a huge deal. You ever watch? I had season one on dvd.

[Jordana Abraham]

Weird show.

[Jared Freid]

It was, like, very adult for being a kid show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. What was. The baby was, like, weird.

[Jared Freid]

Not the mama.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

He hated the dad.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

It was like a very sick commie show with Jim Henson. Was a Jim Henson show.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's so funny.

[Jared Freid]

Really great humor. It was actually, like, dark. They.

[Jordana Abraham]

And the animation, if you look at it now, is, like, pretty bad.

[Jared Freid]

It's pretty bad. But they. But also the puppetry is, like, unbelievable. They ended it with the meteor hitting Earth. That's how they ended Show. It was a kids show. Ish.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Like it was very Jim Henson. Very. Like a dull.

[Jordana Abraham]

What else did Jim Henson do?

[Jared Freid]

The Muppets. The. The Muppets isn't dark, but there's version. I mean, if you look at the. The Muppet show was pretty adult.

[Jordana Abraham]

Whatever happened to everyone who worked in puppetry?

[Jared Freid]

They're still around.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. They're sticking their hands up other people's asses.

[Jordana Abraham]

And the Muppets. I haven't heard. I haven't heard much Muppets recently.

[Jared Freid]

Well, there's Sesame street. That A lot of them. It's down. Is gone. Sesame Street's gone.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think Trump is getting rid of PBS or something.

[Jared Freid]

It's crazy. It is crazy to me. I got to say not to. I said, I don't go political. But it's like, was anyone upset with Sesame Street? Like, did anyone go, we got to get rid of Sesame Street.

[Jordana Abraham]

Got rid of that Oscar the Grouch. Spreading homelessness.

[Jared Freid]

Right. It was just like. That's one of those things. You go, what? Always.

[Jordana Abraham]

This was a Tickle Me Elmo. Tickle Me Elmo does sound a little nefarious.

[Jared Freid]

Play the TGIF theme song before we get any further. This is all to say, I'm in D.C. on Friday night. How great is that song?

[Jordana Abraham]

It's pretty good. It doesn't sound that familiar to me. I guess maybe I wasn't.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, I knew the words right off the top of my head. I love that. I almost thought. Made you think it was Maya Angelou.

[Jordana Abraham]

I did not. I did not believe that I did.

[Jared Freid]

That's the clip.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

A little nostalgia for us.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Where are you gonna be? And then we'll get into our show.

[Jared Freid]

Then we'll get into the show. We'll get right into it. I'm in D.C. i am in other cities. Okay. D.C. milwaukee. Okay. Milwaukee. We're having some trouble. Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. What's happening?

[Jared Freid]

There's nobody's. But nobody wants to see me. No one wants to laugh. They just heard my whole bit about Sesame Street.

[Jordana Abraham]

They're like, what's the big thing to do in Milwaukee?

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. Eat cheese.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

I love Milwaukee. Great Bloody Mary town. Always been a fan, but I've never done a theater there. So I'm doing a theater, and I need people to come tell a friend.

[Jordana Abraham]

Milwaukee.

[Jared Freid]

Minneapolis. We're doing better. Ish. But that needs help, too.

[Jordana Abraham]

The Minneapolis.

[Jared Freid]

The Minneapolis. Great town. Minneapolis.

[Jordana Abraham]

Which do you prefer, Milwaukee or Minneapolis?

[Jared Freid]

Milwaukee. But now with the ticket sales thing, it's swayed Minneapolis.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

But I need Minneapolis, Chicago we are almost sold out.

[Jordana Abraham]

That makes sense.

[Jared Freid]

That's.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Chicago's always been good to me. I've always been good to Chicago. It's a two way street.

[Jordana Abraham]

Indeed. One Chicago.

[Jared Freid]

It's in November.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm going to the Bears game the next day. So if anyone has a tailgate they want me to show up at, I will, you know, do a full split and chug a beer at your tailgate.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wow.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, now. Yeah, I'll do a split.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know how to do it?

[Jared Freid]

I'm working on it.

[Jordana Abraham]

You can't do a split.

[Jared Freid]

I have a friend who knows how.

[Jordana Abraham]

To do a split.

[Jared Freid]

So he used to do this thing called. He would Van Dam. That's his thing. He used to go to tailgates and he would get in a full split and chug a beer and we'd all chant Van Damme. Van Damme. After Jean Claude Van Damme.

[Jordana Abraham]

Because Jean Claude Van Damage. I feel like.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know Jean Claude.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't know. He's not like a figure that's of my generation.

[Jared Freid]

Jean Claude Van Damme doing a split. Please show us friends.

[Jordana Abraham]

But like. Yeah, but it was like the joke. But they're older than us, so he was like someone they would know and like, who was the other person?

[Jared Freid]

Friends are older than us.

[Jordana Abraham]

Friends.

[Jared Freid]

How old were they in the show?

[Jordana Abraham]

They're like in their 30s, but we were younger when it aired.

[Jared Freid]

I related, you know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Could you remind me of the reason that you've never smoked a cigarette? Something about the womb. I was trying to explain.

[Jared Freid]

I swallowed in the womb. That's Jean Claude Van Damme doing a split.

[Jordana Abraham]

Nice.

[Jared Freid]

He, like, was known for doing splits for some reason. Like, that was like his thing. And we had a buddy who could do a split and he would chug beers while doing a split and we'd all chant Van Damme. Like it was like a big moment for us. I am a meconium baby.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Which is your own in the womb.

[Jordana Abraham]

How do they know this?

[Jared Freid]

Because I came out not breathing. Like, I was a very sick baby.

[Jordana Abraham]

They should have gotten rid of you.

[Jared Freid]

They would have been gone. Then I wouldn't be spreading my, you know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

My humor door to door. Santa Claus here.

[Jordana Abraham]

So you could. You couldn't breathe. And if they discovered they.

[Jared Freid]

They had to take out, but they had to like, get. She said at one point, like, I was one of the sicker babies that's ever like, come through there. There.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, wow.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I was like very sick. I didn't come out of the hospital for the first few months, I don't think.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

This is all part of the start.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Weak start. And I had a concave chest. And thanks to french fries and fried rice, I filled it out nicely and.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, it sounds like you were like a terrifying child.

[Jared Freid]

You gotta ask my mom. I. We don't talk about the past a lot.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

We're a future facing family.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

We don't go back so many questions. You would really help me out. I. I don't know much about where we came from.

[Jordana Abraham]

I helped Mike out. He also had. Knew. Absolutely not. I don't even.

[Jared Freid]

Is that a male thing that we just don't care or don't want to know? I'm kind of uncomfortable. I'm not uncomfortable.

[Jordana Abraham]

When I met this man, I don't think he knew the names of his grandparents, the first names of his grandparents, the first names. And he never met them. But I.

[Jared Freid]

They're dead. Don't worry about it.

[Jordana Abraham]

I, like, I had to ask all these questions. I, like, told him more about his family than he knows.

[Jared Freid]

I think my brother's kind of experienced this with his wife, Ruthie.

[Jordana Abraham]

She's like, you don't know anything.

[Jared Freid]

She's, like, asking questions, and he's like, I don't know any of the answers.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm like, are these paid actors who are. Do you know these people? How did you know that that translated to you not being able to smoke?

[Jared Freid]

I think it might have been the lie my parents told me, like, to make it so I wouldn't smoke. And it kind of, like, affected me in a way where I can inhale. I can't inhale a cigarette.

[Jordana Abraham]

That makes sense physically.

[Jared Freid]

Can't. Have you tried many times. And I actually thought this on the way here. I was like, I think smoking's back. I've seen a lot of people smoking cigarettes in New York.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, our episode just came back about the Zins. And then I was talking to Mike about the episode because I was talking about, like, what I talked about about the wedding. And then, and then he was like, does Jared smoke? And I'm like, no, it doesn't do that. I'm like, he doesn't smoke because something with the womb. And he was eating shit. And Mike was like, he's eating. And Mike was like, what? I was like, now that I'm saying, Now that I'm trying to explain it to you, I don't really get it either.

[Jared Freid]

I, I.

[Jordana Abraham]

Your mom did make it up.

[Jared Freid]

She might have made it up. I've had people message me. They're like, I, I, they're familiar with meconium banks, your fellow meconiums. I think in 1985 it was more of a thing than it is now. Maybe, but I don't know, maybe I'm just inflating my life.

[Jordana Abraham]

Maybe.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, back to dates. Chicago. We're okay, but not you're. You might not be okay because, yeah, you might have missed out on tickets.

[Jordana Abraham]

We don't want any DMs.

[Jared Freid]

Durham, I was told like, Jared, maybe you shouldn't. Maybe like, yeah, maybe you shouldn't be here. Shouldn't go like, so Durham, I'm begging you, can we buy some tickets? And people are like, oh, I've given this speech before. Be like, I want to support. Coming to my show is not support. There is a exchange of goods for services. There's a transaction there. Getting the tickets early is a form of support because it like judges up, you know, telling a friend, right? Telling a friend. Charlotte. I think Charlotte would be good. I love Charlotte. Weirdly, never been. It's like just like a good town that's like, it was like built to be now. Like, like you could tell it wasn't like built early on. Like, they built it like recently. So it's convenient, if that makes sense. Fort Lauderdale. They said tickets are not selling your hometown.

[Jordana Abraham]

Embarrassing.

[Jared Freid]

That's embarrassing. Miami, Detroit. My mom's hometown.

[Jordana Abraham]

Miami.

[Jared Freid]

They mentioned Fort Lauderdale specifically. And they're like, the Snowbirds aren't here yet. I was like, what the does that mean?

[Jordana Abraham]

But your parents are coming to the, to the Fort Lauderdale.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. And asking for 30 free tickets.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, they should better fucking buy these. If everyone at the, at the country club doesn't buy a ticket, you should never stop, stop and chat with them again.

[Jared Freid]

I. You, you're speaking my language. Columbus, Orlando, San Diego, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Tampa, Atlanta, Charleston, Boston, Dallas, Houston, New York City, Toronto, Vancouver, Seattle. So jaredfree.com for the tickets, assemble the group chat. The show is about going to Europe alone. Can't wait to see it. It's called the Table for One tour and it's pretty good. I'm working on it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Nice.

[Jared Freid]

We're working on it. We're always working on it.

[Jordana Abraham]

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[Jared Freid]

What are we talking about today?

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, let's get into it. All right. Hi Jared and Jordana, longtime subscriber. Love the UF podcast. I have an experience recently that feels like it belongs on the show. For context, I'm in my 30s, recently, out of a four year relationship and moved to a new city a few months ago. I recently matched with a guy on Raya and our first date was surprisingly amazing. Think an unexpected troll metal band. I don't know what that is. Band performing in a small bar.

[Jared Freid]

I didn't know what that was either. Can we look up troll metal band? I actually waited to see so that we could react to it because it sounded incredibly stupid. That's what I thought. I thought they were trolling metal bands by like making fun of them and I was like, metal's cool. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know the band is making fun of a metal band.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that's what I thought. That was my first thought.

[Jordana Abraham]

But anyway, they saw a weird band performing in a small bar. Playful, playful banter and chemistry, both light and serious conversations. A mutually enjoyable night. So you think he's a lawyer, owns a home, can hold intelligent conversations and is respectful throughout. Over the next few weeks, we kept seeing each other and honestly, I was more interested in getting to know him than the fact that kicker. He's part of the new season's cast of a Bravo reality show. Oh, one of the more tame Bravo shows in my defense, that airs later this year, which he disclosed on the first date. I would love to know what show he's on. Please let us know off camera.

[Jared Freid]

We need to know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. Then out of nowhere he texts I can't keep seeing you right now and offers to meet for coffee, to talk at coffee. He brings up a Facebook post in the group are we dating the same guy? And accuses me of posting it about him. This was news to me. I wasn't even a member of this group at the time and up until this point didn't know he was posted on it. To be fair, we had not had any discussions of exclusivity, so I honestly wasn't upset to hear about the post, more so just offended that he thought it was me to begin with. After some back and forth that turned into joking about it, he said he believed it wasn't me and we ended things on a good note. Or so I thought. Side note, I requested to join the Facebook group after coffee purely out of curiosity about what was Said it was one of those petty any tear red flags posts, fishing for information about his current and past relationships. Fast forward. I run into him at a bar the following week with another woman. Same bar from our first date. I keep my distance and he keeps his. Next day he texts, accusing me of approaching her in the bathroom and yes again assumes I made the Facebook group post. I sat there utterly confused. I could not tell you what this woman even looks like because I was enjoying my night with friends and intentionally staying out of this awkward situation. Plot twist. In this text exchange, he discloses that the woman he was with was the other person he had been seeing over the last few months, same time as me, and that she was the one who made him aware of the Facebook post to begin with. Again, we were not exclusive, so that didn't bother me as much as the fact that he now has accused me of approaching this woman and making the Facebook post twice. I firmly denied the bathroom approach and the Facebook post again. I even sent him a screenshot of my notification of acceptance into the group timestamp two days prior and he apologized for overreacting. This guy is going to do great on Bravo.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I cannot wait to watch with his head cut off. It's just from woman to woman, clearing up his past.

[Jordana Abraham]

So, Jared and Joanna, for anyone who's been falsely accused of posting on the Are we dating the same guy? Page, especially when it causes the connection to abruptly end. How do you navigate without losing your mind or your dignity? Honestly, this entire situation has turned into hilarious entertainment for me and my friends, but I would be lying if I wasn't disappointed that the connection ended over a misunderstanding. Thanks for any insight and laughs you can send my way. Sincerely confused and falsely accused.

[Jared Freid]

Wow. The when the Are we dating the same guy? Facebook group bites back.

[Jordana Abraham]

Look at that.

[Jared Freid]

It can happen all ways.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

What do you think? Any thoughts? Top of mind, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, I think it's interesting where she's like she's disappointed that the connection ended over a misunderstanding. That's not the right way to look at this.

[Jared Freid]

Totally agree.

[Jordana Abraham]

The connection ended over the way he handled the misunderstanding and the way that he's like reacting well to the whole thing and the fact that he's seeing someone else.

[Jared Freid]

Right. The. The. The. Let me come back at you a little bit because I agree that spoke to me. This ended over a misunderstanding I believe I agree is incorrect. I think this ended because the lights got turned on and he had to make decisions like nothing was happening under the COVID of night anymore and he Was put face to face with what am I doing here?

[Jordana Abraham]

Because of the Facebook group.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, because what it does is I. I was putting myself in the position of this guy.

[Jordana Abraham]

We're about to be on Bravo's next hit show.

[Jared Freid]

I'm gonna be on Bravo's next hit. I'm a lawyer. I'm good looking. I'm on Raya, which means. And I'm getting matches on Raya, which means I'm probably very good looking and.

[Jordana Abraham]

About to be on national television. So they clearly.

[Jared Freid]

I was thinking of, like, I've been with women where I've ended things abruptly.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And I've had things happen, like getting posted in a. Are we dating the same guy? Facebook group. Like, you know, getting another match on an app that I felt a big better connection with. I've had. I've kissed someone while dating someone else. And having nothing said where I'm like. Like that kiss that I had with someone else made me rethink how I'm approaching this other relationship that's been on, you know, four or five dates. And it makes you reassess.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

So something like this is just a jolt. It's the lights flickering on, and you go, all right, what are we doing here? And this is where it gets confusing where a lot of women will say, well, he's just trying to a lot of women. I think those guys believes he is trying to fuck a lot of women. But I think he believes I'm dating around and I'm waiting for this thing to, like, smack me in the face and tell me we should be in a serious relationship. So I was thinking about this because I. I do think this is, like, very interesting, the way she's.

[Jordana Abraham]

How would you have handled it?

[Jared Freid]

Probably the same way you would have.

[Jordana Abraham]

Been like, let's go for a walk so that there's no screenshot evidence.

[Jared Freid]

Right, right, right. If you are. Well, I don't know if I would accuse.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, I don't think you would accuse someone of doing that.

[Jared Freid]

But I'm saying if I.

[Jordana Abraham]

You would just end it and not give a reason.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I would end. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Which is the classy thing to do.

[Jared Freid]

That's right. And accusing her of, like, posting it is like, it's again, this guy is going on a reality show, so he's becoming more dramatic. Dramatic and also, like, he's looking over it, paranoid. The paranoia is setting in. So I. I think I was thinking about this.

[Jordana Abraham]

I was like, I want to be cast as that guy.

[Jared Freid]

Right. He doesn't want to be that guy. He doesn't want things coming out about him as he's heading into the show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

He has watched what's happened, and this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is unraveling a little bit.

[Jared Freid]

Well, yes, he's absolutely unraveling, but that's how you kind of get in trouble when you get cast in these shows. One person has, like, serious concrete texts that are like, you being kind of a dick while dating. And then, like, seven other women go, oh, I dated him, and he definitely was a douche. And it's just. Just really easy to add on fuel to the fire. So he's trying to, like, get ahead of that. Sure is my understanding. But I do think where this is.

[Jordana Abraham]

Even, like, I don't think, like, he's done anything wrong until.

[Jared Freid]

Well, he's not done anything wrong yet.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And. And this is my point is with this, it does say something about the larger dating world to me. If you're wondering what you're dealing with, there's nothing you can do to scare a guy away that wants to date you first.

[Jordana Abraham]

Nothing.

[Jared Freid]

Nothing. Nothing you, a sane person could do to chase a guy away. Guys who want to fuck you are like squirrels. Guys who want to date you are like dogs, okay? The guys who want to date you, the dog is always going to come back to you. The dog is always going to cuddle you. The dog is always going to be there for you.

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

The dog is going to whimper and want his head scratched. The guys who want to fuck you, you have to sneak up.

[Jordana Abraham]

More disposable.

[Jared Freid]

They're going to run away if you move too quick, if you get paid, if they get posted in an are we dating the same guy? Facebook group, the squirrel is going to run away because he's going to go, I don't want no trouble.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

So it's a good way for people if they're dating. The idea of, like, should I, shouldn't I, should I, shouldn't I do this or text that or. Or ask them out? None of that matters if they're a dog.

[Jordana Abraham]

If they're into you.

[Jared Freid]

If they're into you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

And here's the thing. A dog can become a squirrel. But I'm just saying, when they're trying.

[Jordana Abraham]

To date you, how does a dog become a squirrel?

[Jared Freid]

When they decide they don't want to date you anymore.

[Jordana Abraham]

But how could that be when there's nothing you could have possibly have done to make them not want to date you?

[Jared Freid]

These things happen over time. Well, you could just be you, and that's what makes them not Want to date.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, but that's. But that's sort of the opposite of what you're saying, where nothing you could do would make them not want to date you.

[Jared Freid]

But that's. The point is, like, there's. It's nothing you did at some point.

[Jordana Abraham]

Learning more about who you are.

[Jared Freid]

Well, it's just learning about. I. I think that makes it too personal. That's just time going on, and you have to make decisions.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right?

[Jared Freid]

And that's. It's not that you scared them away. This is to take it away from, like, oh, he's trying to fuck. I think this dog started as a dog. Oh. We met on the app and we're having good conversation and then became a squirrel the minute, you know that that light went on. It's just like. I think a lot of times it's like, oh, he did all these caring things, and it was this master manipulation, and it was like, no, that's not what it was.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

He did those caring things because in the moment, it felt right. And in the moment, it felt good to do for you. It's selfish because it felt good for him and he didn't think ahead a year, two years. And what this means for you guys as a couple.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And why is he accusing her of speaking to the girl in the bar?

[Jared Freid]

Because he's paranoid. I think that's. That goes with the Bravo.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

He's going on this show, and he knows that the minute this cast gets released, everyone. You know, the most annoying friend in the group is going on Reddit and looking up everything about him.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, the. The woman in the most swept. The. The woman in the most sweatpants is going to. And getting ready to make a TikTok.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, and would you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Would you have done anything differently than her when he accuses her of doing all this shit?

[Jared Freid]

No. There's nothing you can do. He wasn't yours to have.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, it wasn't. This relationship was never gonna happen. He was a squirrel.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And I think also, like, the way. And that's why I said I think he handled it poorly is I think that the right thing to do Again, if you're not. If you're looking for your next job, to not be Instagram influencer from all your Bravo fans would be to say, hey, I saw this. You know, someone told me that, like, they saw me in this Facebook group. It's, like, really bothering me. I'm, like, kind of, like, anxious and paranoid about it, and just, like, seeing what she has to say about that.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But I mean, like, this was never gonna be that way for him.

[Jordana Abraham]

He was never gonna date her.

[Jared Freid]

He was never gonna date her. He might have thought he was gonna date her. He was a good first through to me, you know, this Facebook thing, if he really. Here's what it did. The Facebook thing makes you go, all right, am I gonna date this person or am I gonna get in trouble for this? Because if. When you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Why even ask her if she did it then?

[Jared Freid]

Okay. Because he's trying to figure it out. Like, at that point, he was he to get together with her to, like, make sure there's no paper trail.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And then find out it's not her and then go, okay. And then, like, the next time she sees him, he's with another woman.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It's not like they were really getting the same bar. It's not like they were really getting along. Like, it's just the reveal.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Again, like, to go back to, like, the squirrel versus dog thing. Like, yeah, this guy's.

[Jordana Abraham]

But this guy's handling this very wrong. This is not going to go well for him on. On tv.

[Jared Freid]

It's not gonna go well for him on tv, but he's dating a lot of women.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So it is the choice of, like, you know, when this face.

[Jordana Abraham]

But by trying to cover his ass, he seems more guilty in my mind. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

I think he's very guilty. I think he's out there. I think he's dating a lot of women.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

There's no question. But that was, like, what happened when this whole thing went down. So, like, I. I just think, like, I was thinking, like, what would I do if I saw that I was posting on a Facebook, are we dating the same guy group?

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, I have a question for you also.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

What if the woman you were dating told you that she saw you in the. Are you dating the same guy Facebook group?

[Jared Freid]

Same.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are you dumping her because she's even in that group?

[Jared Freid]

I'm assessing us. Do I want to commit to this?

[Jordana Abraham]

This. Okay.

[Jared Freid]

It is forcing me to look at this closer than I did the day before.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

That's what this did for him. He was forced to look at him and this girl who have been on four dates, and he had to say, are we gonna be something before I go on a big Bravo show where a bunch of women are gonna see me and want to me. And he decided no goodbye.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. This episode is sponsored by Built. Nobody likes paying rent every month. I mean, honestly, have you ever met anyone who's like, Ugh, yes. I love sending away a bunch of my money. If you dread the first of the month every month, at least Built makes it worth it. Built is revolutionizing how millions think about paying rent by rewarding their members with points and exclusive benefits around their neighborhood every single month. By paying rent through Built, you earn flexible points that can be redeemed toward hundreds of hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, your next Lyft ride, and more. But it doesn't stop there. Built is about making your entire neighborhood more rewarding. You can dine out at your favorite local restaurants and earn additional points, get VIP treatment at certain fitness studios, and enjoy exclusive experiences just for Built members every month. Build is turning a monthly expense into an opportunity to earn rewards and discover the best that your neighborhood has to offer. Your rent is finally working for you. Earn points on rent around your neighborhood, wherever you call home, by going to join built.com uup that's J O I N B I L T.com/UUP make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you before Enemies to lovers There was Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy Pride and Prejudice is globally recognized as one of the greatest romance novels ever written and with Audible you can now fall in love with the Jane Austen classic all over Again. The Audible original Pride and Prejudice stars a full cast including Marisa Abella as Elizabeth Bennett and Harris Dickinson as Mr. Darcy, plus Marianne, John Baptiste, Will Poulter, Bill Nighy and Glenn Close as Lady Catherine Deborah, all bringing brilliant performance to transport you to the Regency era. Marisa Abella brings you inside the stubborn and complicated mind of Elizabeth Bennett as she navigates family expectations, societal pressures and her own misconceptions when she meets the enigmatic Mr. Darcy. The new adaptation is vibrant and modern with an original new score by a Grammy nominated composer. Whether you're new to the story of Pride and Prejudice or want to revisit a cherished favorite, you're in for a new and delightful listening experience. Audience Listen to the new Pride and [e-mail] Jane Austin let's do another email. Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

UUP betches.com UUPetches.com we have an ick. You're picky. Love this game. You're dating someone, you end it. Were you picky or was it a true ick? We will decide.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is it deserved?

[Jared Freid]

Jordana and Jared I have so much love for y'.

[Jordana Abraham]

All.

[Jared Freid]

Thanks for all you do and especially the laughs and transparency. Icky or picky? My 31 year old newly Ex boyfriend and his mom kiss on the lips making it worse. It seems to happen every time they say goodbye, hello or thank you and does not always look like a quick peck. To explain more though I tried to look away when I thought it was happening. I've seen my ex hug his mom close while she holds his face in her hands and they mouth kiss for what seems like too long. Though my ex looks like his dad who his mom only has a companionate non kissing marriage with and I have witnessed my almost mother in law squeezing my ex's inner thigh a mere half foot from his delicates. I would like to believe my ex and his mom have no sexual intention toward each other.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wouldn't we all?

[Jared Freid]

I know as my ex told me a tongue has never been used.

[Jordana Abraham]

If you have to say that there's a lot of evaluating that needs to go on.

[Jared Freid]

During our relationship I explained to my ex that in my world lip kissing is not platonic and I felt incredibly uncomfortable around them doing that. He told me that he will not stop kissing his mom this week. Way I will. I will not stop kissing my mom on the lips. You. There's nothing you can do to stop me from putting my lips on her soft supple lips every time we say hello and goodbye. And sometimes before I go to the bathroom. G have you ever seen a guy kiss his mom on the lips?

[Jordana Abraham]

I haven't seen it. I don't know. I don't know if I. I mean I've seen Tom Brady kiss his son on the lips.

[Jared Freid]

The Tom Brady kiss on the lips with his son was jarring. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I mean now that his kids are like like teens. Would that be worse? I think.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

There is an age you can kiss your kid on the lips. Sort of it different for everyone.

[Jared Freid]

I listen. Yeah. It is one of those things. I don't kiss my parents on the lips. Do you kiss your parents on the lips?

[Jordana Abraham]

I guess my parents.

[Jared Freid]

Well we do kiss.

[Jordana Abraham]

Where do you kiss?

[Jared Freid]

On the. On the cheek.

[Jordana Abraham]

On the.

[Jared Freid]

I kiss my uncle on the cheek. My dad on the cheek, my mom on the cheek.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

My aunt cheek cousins sometimes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I guess. I guess I would do that.

[Jared Freid]

With your sisters. With your brother?

[Jordana Abraham]

No. We're hot. We hug. No kiss.

[Jared Freid]

I would say my family is more of a kissing family. Kissing family but more like we've always been a little Italian ish with like a lot of the things like we used to like go to my grandparents house for Sunday like and have like big meals there. Like it. It Was very much that way.

[Jordana Abraham]

You guys are all making out. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Fingers in each other's rectums.

[Jordana Abraham]

Big make out fam.

[Jared Freid]

Big make out fan. That's us. That's why that type of loving gesture.

[Jordana Abraham]

The mouth is very cute. Have you ever kissed your parents on the mouth?

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

That you're aware of?

[Jared Freid]

Not that I'm aware. What would happen would get a little hard, like, I don't know. It's. It's one of those that, like I've seen happen.

[Jordana Abraham]

Here's the thing where she's like. It's never lasted longer than a few seconds. It seems like too long. I feel like if you can start account once it's happening, it's too long. If you can even begin counting, it.

[Jared Freid]

Goes more than one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

He told me he will not stop kissing his mom this way. It is none of my business. And his whole family sat down and discussed that this kind of kissing was normal in their culture. And I was ignorant.

[Jordana Abraham]

I want to know what culture this is.

[Jared Freid]

I would do anything to be at that discussion.

[Jordana Abraham]

What is the culture?

[Jared Freid]

How do you sit down and talk about your kissing habits with each other? That's even more.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, family meeting.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's Italian.

[Jordana Abraham]

Everyone bring your chapstick.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Mike's Italian. I does not kiss his parents on the lips.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

What if he did the most normal way he could? But go ahead.

[Jordana Abraham]

If it was super normal seeming, it would have to like. It would have to not really faze me. I had an ex who was very close to his mom and it was weird.

[Jared Freid]

They kiss on the lips.

[Jordana Abraham]

She like sat on his lap at one point.

[Jared Freid]

Sitting on his lap.

[Jordana Abraham]

That was weird.

[Jared Freid]

She told me that. Weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

She told me that he was the love of her life. Thought that was weird.

[Jared Freid]

Well, once you put the lap with.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Now we looked this up on Google. France, Italy or parts of Latin America. Kissing on the lips between parents and children is relatively common and seen as a sign of affection.

[Jordana Abraham]

But is that adult children up to kids. Kids. Right. I think kissing your kids on the lips, I see that a lot. That doesn't seem that weird once your kid is like an ad. Here's the thing. Once a child is an adult, you would imagine they wouldn't want to kiss their parents on the lips.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, but if you're used to it, if the parents are leading, are they good looking? I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

I kissed my grandma on the cheek for sure. Back in the day.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, I kissed my.

[Jordana Abraham]

I kissed all over my grandma's whole face.

[Jared Freid]

Her Nose, I'd suck on that nose. You know, tongue in her ear. I, I don't know, it's I, I, I'm more bitter X than I am on bad family because she's writing in about her ex.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. Her new ex. Right.

[Jared Freid]

Her recent ex.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Was this, is this a, is this a thing that you're now looking back and trying to make him evil?

[Jared Freid]

Well, she writes this is when I take his side even more. I have quite a few friends from the country and city his parents are from that have told me that this kind of behavior is not normal or common. They thought maybe his mom and him were a little off. I even did a deep cross cultural research and in many different languages trying to understand how this behavior was normal and came to the conclusion that no one culture slash country thinks it's anything but icky for adults to kiss family on the lips with the exception of some families and only some individuals in those families. There are a few reasons my ex is not my ex. But after reading about his mother's son in Meshman and in books like when he's married to his mom, I realized that the relationship my ex and my ad with his mom, though she was a great mom otherwise possibly was the reason he had so many issues that made it impossible for me to have a healthy relationship with him. Anyways, is it icky for a romantic partner to mouth kiss their family or picky if that's just what's normal for them and everything else is great. Psych. I have quite a few friends who practice non monogamy and they also found this icky. Thanks. A newly single. So what do you think? Do you think she's gone too deep into like I'm just imagining her in a dimly lit room just at the computer. Like who's kissing who?

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, I think it's like almost the kissing is less the issue than her bringing it up to him and being like that's none of your business. I'll kiss anyone I want.

[Jared Freid]

I kind of, I kind of like, I kind of take his side on that. Like you think a little bit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, no, I think it's my business. Like how physically affectionate you are with like where's the line? The line would be mom watches you bathe. None of your business.

[Jared Freid]

Wow, that's, that's crazy. That's not.

[Jordana Abraham]

Kissing on the lips is a little crazy. Your inner thigh is kind of crazy.

[Jared Freid]

I made a list. What would you rather rank these? You ready?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. Rank these. Kiss on the lips. Their mom says my Son's a hottie.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's fine.

[Jared Freid]

Touches leg by the thigh.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Talks about their own sexuality in public. The mom is like, I orgasm. Come on. Like that type of stuff. And dresses him worst to best.

[Jordana Abraham]

Best. The first one is kisses. Yeah, that's the worst.

[Jared Freid]

Kissing on the lips is the worst.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

I. Then I think what was the, what was the third one? There's four, right?

[Jared Freid]

It's kisses on the lips, says my son's a hottie, touches the leg, talks about their own sexuality and dresses him.

[Jordana Abraham]

So there's five.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Kisses on the lips, touches the leg, calls him a hottie, talks about her own sex life and dresses him.

[Jared Freid]

That's the, that's, that's my ranking matter.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. What's yours?

[Jared Freid]

I think the lips one is the, the greatest.

[Jordana Abraham]

The worst problem.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, like I'm not like for lip kissing. I just.

[Jordana Abraham]

You sound pretty pro.

[Jared Freid]

I know. I guess I'm into it. Yeah, I guess that's what they do.

[Jordana Abraham]

But how are you handling this? If you, you go over, you, you have your new girlfriend, you go home, she is kissing her dad and her mom on the lip.

[Jared Freid]

I say nothing. I. I make fun of her because we're in a relationship separately than they're in a relationship. I think their lip kissing has nothing.

[Jordana Abraham]

She does a thigh squeeze too.

[Jared Freid]

The dad squeezes the daughter's thighs. It would be. There's a point where it's weird that I'm so into this.

[Jordana Abraham]

That you like her?

[Jared Freid]

No, there's a point where it's like weird that I'm trying to do this like psychoanalysis of the family. They're a happy family that gets along. Like, shouldn't that be like the, the nicest thing in the world? And like, however they do that, like.

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

You get along. No, no. See, this is the thing. Like I, I do think this is very.

[Jordana Abraham]

Their social norms. Their social.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, but it has nothing to do with your life. Like you.

[Jordana Abraham]

It is. I'm dating this person.

[Jared Freid]

Right. You love everything about them. The mother in law is great.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, I don't love everything about them because when I try to bring up a something I think is weird about their family, they tell me to off that it's none of my business. So.

[Jared Freid]

But I'm just saying you, you're in a family. Like this person has a breakup and they're like, I always thought the kissing was weird. Then they go and research a bunch of things and find what they wanted to find. You J. You tend to do that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure. I think it's weird that she's reading a whole book on it, especially if they already broke up.

[Jared Freid]

But that's the thing. Like then, then you make it into this like horrific thing with this family that's working. But now I'm not saying that everything makes, you know, if the, if the family's all. I'm not like, well, it works.

[Jordana Abraham]

The family's working. If they had a sit down meeting to discuss the family kissing.

[Jared Freid]

They talk, they care about one another.

[Jordana Abraham]

I just have to strongly disagree.

[Jared Freid]

I think we strongly disagree because I think this is picky because I really.

[Jordana Abraham]

Think, Jared, you do this. It's okay. This is a safe space.

[Jared Freid]

So what if I kiss my mom on the lips? Okay. After we both have a gefilte fish.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, it's weird.

[Jared Freid]

It's weird. It's not to me. I'm, I'm living in a world where this family really gets along. It's along so well that they French all day long.

[Jordana Abraham]

There are families that get along too well.

[Jared Freid]

See, I'm, I think it's weird that you have a family that like you're marrying into do.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And they were. I'm again, I'm living in the world. No family's perfect, sure. But I'm living in a world where this family works. They like each other, they hang out, they support one another, they talk and they, they generally like. You'd be like, wow, this is a family that I really like, enjoy hanging out with and enjoys each other. And there's love here. And it's. You're. You go, any family should wish to be this family.

[Jordana Abraham]

But, but I don't believe they're this family because they're too enmeshed if they're.

[Jared Freid]

But I'm saying in, in the world that I'm creating.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I don't think you can find any. I don't think you're kissing on the lips if you're not overly enmeshed with, with, with your parents.

[Jared Freid]

So you're just on the hunt for this other problem that isn't there just because you see this one problem.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think there's no way it wouldn't be a problem.

[Jared Freid]

You think my, my version is impossible?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think any man who's so close to his mother that I mentioned that I think. Think it's odd that he's kissing his mother on the lips and he tells me to off, basically.

[Jared Freid]

Did you say off?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, basically in not so many words. It's none of your business and won't discuss that there's anything weird about that. That's a man who's too close to his mom.

[Jared Freid]

Hold on. The family had a meeting?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Based on what you're based on. And that's more than my family would do if I was like, collectively that you are wrong.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, they're too enmeshed.

[Jared Freid]

But nothing else is wrong.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's big enough. I think it's indicative of other. I don't think this man is making decisions without his mother. I don't think this man is like, Is. I think this. His mother comes first.

[Jared Freid]

But I'm saying you've seen none of that. To this day.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't believe that that's possible. I don't think you can separate.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, but I'm saying.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm saying, fine. Everything else is a perfectly normal boundary relationship, but they happen to kiss on the lips when they see each other.

[Jared Freid]

Fine, but this is my point, and.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is why that wouldn't happen.

[Jared Freid]

Well, I'm saying that you women will get in a relationship and go, there's one thing weird here and pick at it. And now you're in. Now your perfect family is. Is. Is not talking.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sometimes you need that.

[Jared Freid]

Someone from the outside said, I don't like how this all works. That's crazy to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I think that's how.

[Jared Freid]

I would never look at someone if I. But I'm saying, if I'm with someone and everything's perfect except they kiss on the lips. I'm not touching the. I'm not touching the Jenga. I'm not pulling at the.

[Jordana Abraham]

The brick. That's where we differ.

[Jared Freid]

That is, to me, this is. This is.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm pulling all the bricks. I want to find out what's underneath there. There's something weird going on.

[Jared Freid]

And then like, 10 years from then, the parents are divorced, the kids don't talk to the parent.

[Jordana Abraham]

I Then. Then I've been from that moment, like.

[Jared Freid]

That'S the kill the Hitler baby moment.

[Jordana Abraham]

I uncovered something that needed to happen. I started a conversation that needed to happen.

[Jared Freid]

I can't. I would.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sometimes you need someone, an external person to come in and tell you what's weird about the things that you always thought were normal.

[Jared Freid]

So you're just standing on the burning ashes of a family going, we did it.

[Jordana Abraham]

My work here is done. I work here.

[Jared Freid]

Sound off in the comments. I want to hear from people because I'm building a scenario that, while it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Might be unrealistic, I think it's icky. So you let us know. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Stay away from my family. It works.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. I Don't know if I.

[Jordana Abraham]

So what?

[Jared Freid]

We French and we go down on each other. So what?

[Jordana Abraham]

So what?

[Jared Freid]

Let's do another email.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Hi, jj. Feather. Feather. Let me start off by saying I'm married with a young child, but obviously still love the pod. Thank you. My also married best friend and I went out for drinks. That and ended the night at a local karaoke bar.

[Jared Freid]

Look at you.

[Jordana Abraham]

We live in a college town, but this spot is known for a variety of age groups and stages of life.

[Jared Freid]

Sure.

[Jordana Abraham]

The bar quickly filled up, so we shared a table with a group of guys. I noticed one of the younger guys was swiping on hinge. I wanted to tell him in my best Jared voice, you're in the wild. Let's talk to some women irl. But I decided to mind my business instead. But I would love your thoughts. If I see a single swiping on the apps in a social situation, should I offer to wing woman or just let them do their thing? Sincerely, a helpful batch.

[Jared Freid]

If a married woman.

[Jordana Abraham]

I see a single in the wild.

[Jared Freid]

Nothing sounds more married woman at a younger bar. A bunch of singles in the wild. If a married woman told me to look up from my phone while I'm in the bar, I would make roll my eyes so hard that they may not stop rolling for the rest of my life.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, I think it is the male equivalent of like an older man telling you to smile.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. True woman. I think you're totally right because it's challenging the manhood. You're basically saying you're not a man. Go talk to women in real life. Why don't you be a man? And all you want to do is like, I think go back at that person. It happens to me a lot.

[Jordana Abraham]

This happens sometimes. I think when you have a child, you think everyone is your child. No one wants your advice.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

Unless they ask for it.

[Jared Freid]

Well, that's the thing. It's like, how do you be a good wing woman? And it's like the best. Or a wing person. Why do you be a good wing person? You're just a friend to the person.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, right.

[Jared Freid]

Just be fun and with them.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, and then leave when. When. If the opportunity presents itself.

[Jared Freid]

Right. If I was truly, like, looking to help these guys. Listen, people are on their apps on the bar. I agree. It's stupid. I've done it. It's. It's literally going to another bar. That's while you're at a bar.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, it's really stupid.

[Jordana Abraham]

Muscle memory too.

[Jared Freid]

It's a crutch. Dating apps are a crutch. They're a way you never get turned down on a dating app. You never get turned down in a bar. You go up to someone, there's failure. It's public failure, so they're on the app, swiping. It's also something to do. It's something to like.

[Jordana Abraham]

If they're not. No one's around. And they're not.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Would I rather look up aimlessly in a bar or would I rather be on my phone? I'd rather be on my phone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Your phone looks back at you.

[Jared Freid]

Looks right back at you. There's fun things to do. You can do the crossword you can do. You can date, you can Facebook, you can stalk. So nothing is more annoying to a single person than someone with. No.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's not out there in the arena, Right.

[Jared Freid]

With no chance of failure telling you to stop trying. You know, stop a different way. Yeah. Like to pushing you to fail.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And it's like, listen, this is hard. Like, I. And this is to all married people that go out there, single friends. Like, the only rule is to like to remember. The only rule to remember if you're married, going out with your single friend is that your friend wants to meet someone. They don't need to meet someone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Your friend is doing fine. They're good. They got their couch. They got a bunch of snacks at home. They're gonna be fine. They're going to meet someone.

[Jordana Abraham]

So how would you wing woman appropriately. If you were out with a. If you're a married woman out with a single friend.

[Jared Freid]

I. If I was a good wing woman, would be someone who acts. This is actually my answer. A good wing woman is acting as they would as a single person.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, a good wing woman is pretending to be single.

[Jared Freid]

Is pretending to be single.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Because. And then says to the person, I'm married or has their ring on or whatever.

[Jordana Abraham]

And.

[Jared Freid]

And. And all that stuff.

[Jordana Abraham]

But they're acting fun and single and like, they're out there to meet people too.

[Jared Freid]

And honestly, the power of being married is that there is no failure. So you do get to do. When you're married at a bar, you can act like a single person. As if you're.

[Jordana Abraham]

No stakes.

[Jared Freid]

There's no stakes. You. It's as if you're on a tight wire and you got the net underneath you.

[Jordana Abraham]

You. Right?

[Jared Freid]

So you should be dancing on the tight wire. You should be going up to men. Hey, look at those shoes. Love those shoes. Where are you guys coming from? You have no failure. So you, you should be picking up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Men as if you're single, yourself on the stake.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And then you bring in your single friend who is in their head, who is dealing with insecurities, has to worry about being rejected. Right. And you are now taking the rejection for them.

[Jordana Abraham]

I love it.

[Jared Freid]

That's the way. Be single until you're not single anymore.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

And then. And it's like, that's not. Your husband doesn't give a. You're, you know, you're not gonna hook up. You're not gonna fall in love. You know that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

This isn't me telling you to be like, yeah, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or the other option B, you go around and you confiscate all phones where men are on. On the apps or not speaking to women or.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Scold them.

[Jared Freid]

The alternative is to go up to men and be like, what are you not a man? You got to be on the dating apps while all these hot women are around. Yeah, that's a good way. Puncture their ego.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Get all the single men to hate you and your friends. That's a great way to go. I'm just. I would never want to date someone who's friends with the person telling me how not a man I am for being on my phone at the bar.

[Jordana Abraham]

I agree. You know those moments when your hands are full or your eyes need a break, but you still want to escape into a great story? That's why I'm such a fan of Audible. I listen all the time, whether I'm on a walk, commuting to the office, doing chores, or even just relaxing before bed. Audible's app makes it super easy to jump right into thousands of audiobooks anytime, anywhere. I've mentioned before that one of my favorite movies is Pride and Prejudice, and I'm excited that Audible is releasing a brand new audiobook version of the Jane Austen novel on September 9th. Narrated by Marissa Abela, Harris Dickinson, Glenn Close, and other stars you know and love, Audible gives me the best of both worlds. I can enjoy a story I love while actually getting stuff done. They have thousands of titles, everything from romance to thrillers to memoirs, comedy, and even self improvement. So whatever mood you're in, there's always something fresh and exciting waiting for you. And the app is super user friendly. You can download audiobooks to listen offline, adjust the narration speed, and pick up right where you left off across all your devices. If you've never tried Audible before, I can't recommend it enough. It's the easiest way to bring incredible stories into your everyday life. Trust me, once you start listening, you'll wonder how you ever went without it. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30 day trial at audible.com/uup. Fall is layering season, but it all starts with a good foundation. Honestly, one of the biggest pain points with bras and underwear is wearing stuff that looks good but doesn't feel good. It's really hard to find a company that will give you both. Which is why I love that we're working with skims. They have mastered the art of the perfect bra, perfect underwear. It's just really hard for women to find stuff that looks good on you and also like is really comfortable. I think that's just a universal struggle by many women. Recently I got the Fits Everybody full brief, which is like their regular underwear which I am wearing all the time now. It's my favorite pair. I get annoyed when I wear it because then I have to wait until I wash all my underwear to wear it again. I also have the Bralette. It's a game changer. It lifts, it looks great. Super flattering, super cute, just the right amount of support and also incredibly comfortable. I haven't always loved bras. Who has? But with skims, they are changing me into a bra lover. Shop my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, make sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do some red flag or deal breaker. We love red flagger. Deal breaker.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love it.

[Jared Freid]

It's the game sweeping the conch. You have a you are dating someone, everything's perfect. All they're doing is kissing their mom and you're wondering if that's a red flag or deal breaker.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, fondling their mom's size, it's no big deal.

[Jared Freid]

I need the number of that vet. Okay, I J and Jay, I need your advice on a situation that's stressing me out. My boyfriend, 34 and I, 33, have been together for six years. We moved in together, relocated for our careers, and started seriously talking about marriage and buying a House in 2023. The plan was for me to buy a house while keeping his name off and to be engaged by Q4. 2024.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wow.

[Jared Freid]

This woman was on her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Was this discussed in strategic planning?

[Jared Freid]

She's the manager. The. The. The. The CEO. Put this on the table.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. I hope they have a calendar. Hold.

[Jared Freid]

These are all words I don't know. Then 2024 happened. He was hit by a truck. Had surgeries through months of rehab. Hit by a truck.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's one way to get out of an engagement.

[Jared Freid]

That guy just ran out of the middle of the street.

[Jordana Abraham]

Q4 is. It's the end of Q3.

[Jared Freid]

Wait, what? What's the date? Hey, taxi. I completely understood why there was no ring. No issue from that angle. It's very funny. No, no, we're good. We don't have to get engaged. Why does that stop them from getting engaged?

[Jordana Abraham]

You get hit by a small truck if it meant you didn't have to break up with someone that you felt like breaking up with?

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Small car.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or they were like, in a. You know, nobody totally understands.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, so to get out of a breakup, let's go over the options.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Car runs over my foot.

[Jordana Abraham]

It.

[Jared Freid]

Yes, absolutely.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is. How long would you have to be dating to have to. To.

[Jared Freid]

We're dating a year and a half, and I have to, like, she wants to move in and she's, like, ready, like, we're on the path.

[Jordana Abraham]

Year and a half.

[Jared Freid]

I'd be like, year and a half would be late for me to be not engaged at this age.

[Jordana Abraham]

At this age. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

So.

[Jordana Abraham]

So year and a half, she's like, what's going on? You're taking the car over your foot.

[Jared Freid]

I'm taking a car over the foot.

[Jordana Abraham]

You might never make a football touchdown again.

[Jared Freid]

That's okay. Okay, I'll. I'll take a car over the foot.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Give me some other options.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's think small car. You're like, you're in the hospital for a month.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I take that.

[Jordana Abraham]

You take that hospital for a month.

[Jared Freid]

Hospital, you get, you get bathed, you get losing income. Losing income. But I get a lot of content out of it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And. And again, she's like, no issue.

[Jared Freid]

Whatever you need to do because of this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It pushes off the engagement by a year.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I'm, I'm. I'm hospital for a month.

[Jordana Abraham]

Lose a. Lose three toes, take five. What?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I believe toes. I, I, that's my go to giveaway.

[Jordana Abraham]

Two fingers.

[Jared Freid]

Which fingers?

[Jordana Abraham]

Middle and ring.

[Jared Freid]

No, no.

[Jordana Abraham]

Can't put a wedding ring there.

[Jared Freid]

Guess we can't do this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Long Covid.

[Jared Freid]

I'm taking. Of course, now Q4 is starting, and while we're planning a couple's trip that feels like the perfect setup for a proposal, I'm worried. I'm nervous about buying a house here without a ring and don't know if I'm being petty or prudent. After six years, it feels like it should be a mutual exchange. He gets the house, I get the ring. So red flag or deal breaker? Do I break up with him if he doesn't propose this time? Sincerely getting the cow, the milk and the pasture for free. P.S. i work remotely and live here for his job. If I were single, I'd move back to the east coast, which adds to my concern about buying here. So what do you think? She's basically like, waffling on the house because she doesn't have a ring yet.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I mean, the way that they're looking at this is just it. I think it's odd that this. I feel like. And this happens with a lot of couples where it's like no one's sure if they're getting engaged. Like, an engagement should happen over the series of like multiple conversations where most people are on the same page. Like, if it's a complete surprise, that's weird in my opinion.

[Jared Freid]

Right, right, right. If it's too early, it's weird. It's too late. It's weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. Like, you should. This conversation should be happening like fairly frequently. And she. And again, she. It sounds like she's presenting it as this, like, quid pro quo. Like, I'm giving you like a stake in my house and where. And I'm getting the ring in exchange. And when are we getting this? It's like, no, you need to like, take that out of it. Have a serious conversation about your future. I actually, if I'm being totally honest, don't think getting hit by a truck really means he can't propose.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I'm with you. I think that could have been like, jokes aside. Jokes aside. He could have gone. I've seen, you know, he could have been there, things could have ended.

[Jordana Abraham]

And oh my God, life is short. Let me make sure I do this right away. Right. Tom Hanks in the elevator.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Totally. It doesn't to me, this transactionary version of we need to get engaged, it's not a fun way for her. Like, I think she's like overlooking how not fun this whole thing is for her when if you think about it, an engagement in a marriage, it. I mean, it's extracurricular. Like, it's not what it's all about.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Getting there. And.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, I mean, it's a symbol of. Right. Of like building a life together.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But like I'm. I guess maybe this is 40 year old me that's talking where I'm like, if I'm Doing this, like, it's a. Like you said, constant conversation. We're dreaming about this wedding together, this engagement together. We're talking about future stuff. Like, it's a part of a huge bigger conversation. So the idea that, like, this engagement happens and all else is good. Sign that, you know, sign for the house. Let's start running now. That's not how I see it working out for me. That's. I don't think that's how it worked out for you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I don't think that would be fun to be. Like, I'm not putting the name on the house until I get the ring.

[Jared Freid]

It's like, so what does she do?

[Jordana Abraham]

She goes and she wrote, I live remotely. And I. I work remotely. I live here for this job. If I were single, I'd move back to the East Coast. So she's, like, making, like, a backup plan, which to me, again, says they're not really having, like, the right conversations right here.

[Jared Freid]

I would say it's a deal breaker that you're not having the right conversations.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. More than that. He hasn't proposed yet, although he has till Q4.

[Jared Freid]

He does have till Q4. And. But I just think, like, waiting till the last possible second. Right. Like, for me, like, you know, when I do the task at the last possible second, you didn't really want to do it. Yeah. Like, I don't know. This isn't how I would want to get engaged.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. That's what I'm saying. I think she's having the wrong conversations.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And I think that's a good conversation place to start. Start. This is not how I want to get engaged. Like, I think that's, like, a nice way to put it where you're like, we've gotten this far, and I'm, like, going along with it. But, like, I'm realizing this is, like, putting a bad taste in my mouth for this whole thing. How am I going to tell this story that, like, you waited to the last possible second. We're not talking about it. I'm, like, guessing what's going to happen on this trip.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I'm not even getting to have fun on the trip. I'm going to be worried about whether you're going to miss the line. Yeah. Like. Like, I don't know. And I'm saying this as a guy who's not in a relationship because I don't want to do this to someone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't be in something to. Or I. I guess, like, I wouldn't Be in something now because I would feel I would know too much.

[Jordana Abraham]

Maybe we wouldn't stay in it. Right, right.

[Jared Freid]

Him at 34.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, I think. I mean, we get. You get a lot of those emails where the couples almost feel like they're, like, in a standoff of, like, he's gotten till the state, and, like. Like, I'm not sure if he's gonna do it.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And it's like, that's almost. That's the issue that's almost bigger than if he's gonna do it or not. That you're not sure if he's gonna do it.

[Jared Freid]

Right. This is the story people telling when they get a divorce. Yeah, well, I. Back then, you know, this is like the prelude to a breakup.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right, Right.

[Jared Freid]

You. You won't be surprised.

[Jordana Abraham]

Time was running out. Right. And then he decided to just go for it.

[Jared Freid]

It. And then two years later, you're like, I'm getting divorced, but I should have known when.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So deal breaker for me.

[Jordana Abraham]

H. Yeah, I mean, I guess have the. The. The.

[Jared Freid]

Have the conversation truck.

[Jordana Abraham]

Maybe he couldn't get to the ring store. He's, you know, hit by a truck.

[Jared Freid]

I fell in the pool. Can't do it anymore.

[Jordana Abraham]

We're horrible.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, Sorry.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, I'll read the next one.

[Jared Freid]

The east coast is waiting for you with open, open arms.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Move back. Get rid of this guy. Him.

[Jordana Abraham]

Find a guy who haven't listened to this.

[Jared Freid]

You're listening to rational people. Go. This sounds weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Send it. That's every email we do. I'm just like, just send it to the person send it to. Your ex kisses his mom.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sometimes people do that.

[Jared Freid]

I think that's the way to go. You don't have to talk to him.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're the ex who kisses your son right in.

[Jared Freid]

I would love to hear from them.

[Jordana Abraham]

Give us your side, please, JJ. Love you both. Let's jump in. I, 34, female, made the dumb decision to switch my hinge location to my tiny hometown while visiting for Thanksgiving 2024. I ended up going on a date, and long story short, have been seeing and talking to him, 34, male, ever since. He's recently divorced with two kids. He's visited me, and I've been going home about every other month since. We hang out whenever I'm in town and talk regularly when I'm away. Hey, we're not exclusive. I still date in my city, but as time goes on, I've started to wonder, what's next. Oh, no. She's starting to wonder.

[Jared Freid]

Stop that little Brain of yours. That's what he's.

[Jordana Abraham]

How do you know when, how do you know when a woman's starting to wonder? What are your, what are your clues as a, as a dater? I, I, that a woman is starting to wonder.

[Jared Freid]

Right. This is to me. I know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Everybody just know.

[Jared Freid]

I know. I, I, I, I and I.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is every time a woman starts to wonder.

[Jared Freid]

I can see that brain turning right in front of my eyes. I can hear certain words. I know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you have any examples? I would love to.

[Jared Freid]

I can think of, like, so many.

[Jordana Abraham]

Where I'm going on with the holidays.

[Jared Freid]

What's going on the holidays? Like a big. That's like an easy one. But like, I've gotten like, you know, we should try certain things. Like, you know, the we should guy. There's a version of the woman. Like, the we should guy is like, we should go. We should go apple picking. We should go on a vacation. We should do that dinner. That's a guy trying to hype you up so he can, like, you know, get you trusting him more.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

A woman version of the we should is her saying, I like you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I'd like to do these things.

[Jordana Abraham]

They're making you opt out.

[Jared Freid]

They're made.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right, right, right. We should go on a trip.

[Jared Freid]

Nothing gets me more frustrated and especially as like a people pleaser than the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Opt out woman, than the woman who's, who's assuming clothes.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, I. It drives me crazy because it's a strategy because everything becomes my decision. It's. You can either be with this really nice person who you're attracted to, or you can say no to this one thing, which means that we're less than we were.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, the we should woman is not breaking up with herself. She's making you do it.

[Jared Freid]

The we should.

[Jordana Abraham]

I respect it.

[Jared Freid]

You're absolutely right. The we should woman is the toughest woman to date.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. All those wondering, wandering.

[Jared Freid]

She's sitting there like, cut my head off.

[Jordana Abraham]

Cut it off.

[Jared Freid]

You don't want to cut it off. Okay, we'll go on a trip.

[Jordana Abraham]

I like it. You should have to cut it off. I've started to.

[Jared Freid]

It makes it so. It's like what's frustrating to me. It makes it so. It's like, I like you and then it's like I have to say I love you. It makes me have to be the one that drags the dead body through the finish line.

[Jordana Abraham]

She's asking for what she wants.

[Jared Freid]

I think she's more asking me to tell her that what she wants is Right. And that gets annoying that I'm making the decision for both of us, I guess.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or she's just telling you what she'd like to do. I'd like we should go on a trip. I like to go on a trip.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's too soon for us to go on a trip.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, well, she's making you say it.

[Jared Freid]

I'm right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what.

[Jared Freid]

That's what I would have to say. Which is. Is for me, very difficult to say. Yeah. Torture. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Nothing like those wondering Woman.

[Jared Freid]

I've started to wonder what that's wondering all you women.

[Jordana Abraham]

We haven't really.

[Jared Freid]

Wonder Woman.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, seriously. That's Wonder Woman's superpower.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

She wonders about the relationship.

[Jared Freid]

Wondering, would you want to go to Napa? Yeah, that's a good sketch. Wonder Woman, Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Fighting. Fighting. Villains. Male villains everywhere. Non committal.

[Jared Freid]

Bring Wonder Woman on the date. She'll get some answers. I'm wondering if you two should go to Napa. Oh, I don't know. Sweat pouring down his face.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's the kryptonite. All right, cut to my Wonder Woman meconium Man's kryptonite. Cut to my most recent trip home. My family threw a birthday cookout the day before my actual birthday. And he came. Lovely night. Night. I stayed at his place that night. Woke up with him the next morning, and he mentions nothing about my birthday. I left for work, assuming I'd hear from him later. But 8pm rolls around and he sends a text unrelated to my birthday. Oh, he's in danger.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, this dude.

[Jordana Abraham]

Then before, just before midnight, he texted, oh, shoot. Happy birthday. I still had a few minutes left. I was pretty hurt. To me, if you care about someone, you're also excited about their birthday. I didn't expect gifts, just some kind of recognition. That would have been nice. Nice. He first apologized and claimed he thought celebrating the day before and singing Happy birthday sufficed. Saying happy birthday with your mom. He finally admitted that he ultimately forgot about my birthday the next day and blames it on having a lot on his plate. Red flagger, deal breaker. He forgets about your birthday after literally eating your birthday cake 12 hours before.

[Jared Freid]

She kind of undercuts her own point. Like he was at the birthday party. He did go to the birthday party with the family.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So like the idea that like, he forgot, like he was part of the festivities. Like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Do you need. It's funny. Cause I was thinking that. Cause like, I, you know, I had people over for my birthday on Saturday, but then and Some of them didn't text me the next day, happy birthday. And I was like, we just celebrated together. I think it's fine. Is that weird?

[Jared Freid]

I would assume it's fine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that weird? I was like. I was like, is that weird that they didn't text? Or did they wish me a happy birthday last night when they saw me? But I guess it's different if you're dating. I do think it's different.

[Jared Freid]

I'm. I'm so not a birthday guy that, like, I'm like, like, get over yourself.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't know. I think if you're dating.

[Jared Freid]

He woke up that morning next to her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did he say happy birthday in the morning?

[Jared Freid]

No, but, like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I guess you. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Saw her already on the birthday.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So you would hope he would wake up and go, happy birthday, you know, on the actual day. But you. Even when I would say if I would say that, I would, like, laugh at it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I would be like, happy birthday. Like, we just did the whole day for you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

When's it enough? You know? Like, I.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's a good point. If he hadn't slept there and seen her on the day and said, happy, and I assume he said, whatever, they celebrated that he's saying he knew it was her birthday. If it was just the almost midnight text, I'd be like, irritated about that.

[Jared Freid]

Right. That's a different story. You never see him on the day of your birthday. And then 12, you know, 1158. Oh, almost missed it. Ah, kiss. Like, here's the thing. This. On its own. He's not. I take it's not a deal breaker, but she's writing to us by starting her email with. I made the dumb decision to switch my hinge location to my tiny hometown while visiting for Thanksgiving. 2024.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sounds great.

[Jared Freid]

While in a relationship with the guy that she found on Hinge or some sort of relationship. They're not really official. I think she doesn't feel great about where they are. And she's thinking that if we were official and this was a real thing, he would know enough to say my birthday. I don't think that's the case. Like, I think that if they were together this. I think if they were together and this happened, she's not writing it.

[Jordana Abraham]

They're not together. She said, we haven't really talked about our future.

[Jared Freid]

That's my point.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. It's about. It's more about.

[Jared Freid]

It's about she doesn't like what they're doing.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, listen, listen. I started going to therapy because I got a subpar happy birthday text. I get it.

[Jared Freid]

Well, beware. Beware of. You know, this is a reveal. He has revealed how much work he's putting into this, which is not a lot. She goes home to her hometown. He gets to fuck. He comes and visits her probably a lot less than he. She visits him because he's got the two kids, he's divorced. So she's already saying, I'm going to this dumb fucking small town for this guy I met on Hinge who doesn't even go above and beyond for my birthday. For my birthday. So here's the great reveal. He's not working that hard on this relationship, which I agree with. Do I agree with him not saying happy birthday after waking up with you and going to your family's birthday thing you have made.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's not about the happy birthday.

[Jared Freid]

It's not about the happy birthday you have made. What she realizes she feels used. She has made her, with no commitment, incredibly easy. He's even waltzing around the family party saying hi to mom and dad while not in a relationship.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, he gets to walk around, be this great guy when she's. He's not being a great guy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

When he can just end at any time, all the distance I got the two kids can't move. Ah, you're not gonna move here. Goodbye, good luck. Like he's getting a free pass is what she believes.

[Jordana Abraham]

So what would you text him if you're her about this?

[Jared Freid]

I would say the texting you not say. You not making a bigger deal out of my birthday made me feel like I was cheap.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

That I wasn't charging enough for admission to my store.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think he would come. Don't you think he'd come back with. I felt like we went to your parents, we celebrated there. We did a whole dinner.

[Jared Freid]

Smart coxman would make it it tough to argue. Any smart coxman would make it about the birthday and not about the relationship.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, that's what I'm saying.

[Jared Freid]

That's what I would do.

[Jordana Abraham]

He would do. I'm playing out the conversation.

[Jared Freid]

He's going to make it about the birthday.

[Jordana Abraham]

I feel, you know, you didn't make a big deal out of my birthday. I would say I would. I considered that a big deal.

[Jared Freid]

I consider that a big deal. And I consider that representative of how we're doing things. I'm not happy in this relationship the way it currently stands. I'd like you to kind of talk to me about how you see the next year and five years going. Let's go through a, a one year and a five year plan. And here's my one year and a five year plan. It's only fair to give yours.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, let's hear it.

[Jared Freid]

So my one year plan is that I'm gonna start looking for ways to move home so that we can move in together.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yikes.

[Jared Freid]

Right? He's gonna, that guy's gonna become a squirrel real quick. He's gonna run away. I think he ends it.

[Jordana Abraham]

You think he's gonna end it?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I think he's gonna go, that's too much for me. And I'm not looking for that. And I gotta.

[Jordana Abraham]

If you were looking for that, would you do think you would have put more effort into the birthday?

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Planned a dinner?

[Jared Freid]

I think he would have. I think he wouldn't be so comfy, cozy. I think he's just chilling.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I think he's happy.

[Jordana Abraham]

And she's doing most of the work.

[Jared Freid]

And she's doing all the work she's traveling home for. And it doesn't feel like work because home is nearby. And there's a lot of built in things that make this easy on him that he's become accustomed to.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And that, that means he got lethargic and he's go, your birthday. Can go yourself. I, I talked to your mom and dad. Look how good of a guy I am. That's why she's mad. Let's do one more great interpretation. Yeah. This is why we are here. This is why this show exists. No one's giving you that insight.

[Jordana Abraham]

No one. Nobody. Bethany Frankel.

[Jared Freid]

No one's giving you squirrel dog metaphors.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. No one's giving you Wonder Woman.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do one more.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Wonder Woman. Last weekend I went on a date that I just have to share. He tries to get us into a super popular restaurant on a Friday night at 7:00pm no reservation. Of course, when the hostess tells us the wait is an hour, he starts arguing, insisting he sees an open table and cannot understand why he can't be seated there. I stood there mortified, but also secretly immediately amused. Red flagger. Deal breaker. He argues with the restaurant staff when things don't go his way. Sincerely. Table for two, please. Or not.

[Jordana Abraham]

The no reservation is already a red flag. Right? Like not having the, the sense of like, I'm gonna pick this restaurant that's obviously very popular that we're not gonna be able to just walk into.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Fighting with the staff. Another red flag. Especially when it's like something pretty straightforward like you didn't have a reservation, so you have to wait.

[Jared Freid]

And we're a popular place. Everyone knows we're popular.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. And no one's sitting there because the reservation is about to start soon, and the people haven't shown up yet.

[Jared Freid]

Right. They have a plan for this restaurant. And, you know, there's a difference I've complained about. There's a whole section open.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

That's different. To me, when you go, hey, there's a whole section open. And they go. And then they go. There's no tables available. I do think you're deserving of a little of an explanation. Sure. Like, hey, short on waitstaff. And then there's a reason we have the restaurant set up that way. That's a negotiable thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Don't flaunt your empty table titties to us.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Don't show me the titties and then.

[Jordana Abraham]

Expect you not to ogle.

[Jared Freid]

I. I gotta lick those titties. So I do think there's a special type of confidence that is really annoying to me of, like, we'll just go, and we'll make someone's day. Horrible. So that we can sit.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's very entitled.

[Jared Freid]

It's very entitled. I do think this is all about setting expectations. Like, if he said to her, hey, I don't have a reservation, but here was my plan. I. I was gonna take a shot at this one place that's super popular, and then from there, we probably won't get in, but I really wanted us to try. And from there, there's, like, two other restaurants in the area. I'm thinking this one or this one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Or there's a bar around the corner we can go to while we wait.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just a thought. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

This was him when he says, trying to flex poorly. Right. And it's him being like, I don't need to make any planning whatsoever to, like, set any expectations.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So, like, like, if he had gone in and been like, hey. They're like, it's an hour wait. And then he was like, I see that table open. Is there any way to make that happen? That's a different story.

[Jordana Abraham]

I have $10 here, right. There's anything that you can make happen.

[Jared Freid]

How about a little Abraham? How's that feel to you?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Let me throw you a little fiver there. How's that? Say, does that get us in?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So I agree.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's more about the planning. Right. Lack of.

[Jared Freid]

What do you think of this plan? What if I told you? You ready? I've heard of this plan before.

[Jordana Abraham]

So you've heard others give this Plan 1.

[Jared Freid]

I may have thought this was a good idea. You go to a restaurant that's super busy, and you get there, you're on a date. And I go, what number date? Third date. And I say to my date, I go, listen, this place is really popular. I don't have a reservation. We're going to. But I'm going to say I made one. And then we're going to see if we can get in. If they'll just make it happen. When I say I made one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And then I go up to the person, they go, sir, do you have a reservation? I go, yes, free it for 10. And then they go, sorry, is it under another name? I go, no, I made it like six weeks ago. It's under freed for two. What's your phone number? Oh, here's my phone number. I'm sorry, sir, we don't have it. We're completely booked tonight. Are you ser. Like, I made it like six weeks ago. I. I can't believe you don't have it. Like, hold on, let me go look for the email. I can't. I. I just switched my phone over, so I don't have the email.

[Jordana Abraham]

Find the email.

[Jared Freid]

I don't have the. But, but listen, it's our. It's our anniversary. I made this like six weeks ago. You got to.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is your plan going in?

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Cuz now not only do you not have a reservation, but you're a liar. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

How else are we going to get into this great restaurant?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I'd rather go. I.

[Jared Freid]

You don't like the made a reservation. Please help me. It's our anniversary. We need this.

[Jordana Abraham]

I. I'd rather go.

[Jared Freid]

I'm on the brink of a divorce. Please.

[Jordana Abraham]

That is easier to get a reservation. All right, well, I don't want, like, I don't want to be a part of like, you're like, now I'm like str. Now I'm anxious about getting gone.

[Jared Freid]

My Leo moment.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. And also, like, I do think you're a little, like, manipulative.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

That it's giving me, you know. Can I trust you?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. What if it works? I'm that good of an actor.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's almost worse if it works.

[Jared Freid]

Well, this version is a deal breaker. Making someone's life miserable to help your own is not a good way to go.

[Jordana Abraham]

I agree. Not a good look.

[Jared Freid]

We solve dating again.

[Jordana Abraham]

We did it. We'll be back on Friday. Bye.