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- [00:00]
A
Life is full of choices. But the choice between getting crispy chicken nuggets or a Crunchwrap slider isn't one you'll have to make. The new crispy Chicken Crunchwrap slider at Taco Bell. All white meat chicken nuggets breaded in tortilla chips, wrapped up sauce and all inside a slider sized Crunchwrap. Choose from creamy chipotle or jalapeno honey mustard. Well, here we go. Life still full of choices. The new crispy Chicken Crunchwrap slider. A brand new classic, only a Taco Bell. And participating in those Taco Bell locations for a limited time and while supplies last.
- [00:30]
B
I told this. This woman you yelled was yelling at me in the Upper west side. And so I finally was like, you've been heckling the whole show to everybody. You're never going to look good. You're never going to be because you got to. You're rude. You're bad. Like I said that.
- [00:41]
A
Oh, you went, you went deep.
- [00:43]
B
And she was really beautiful. So. But only I could see her. And then the audience like turned on me and I was like, whoa, what happened? Because she had been heckling the people before me. She was yelling out the whole show. Awful. And they were like, no one could see her, so they didn't know. She actually was like. I never would have said that to someone that was like ugly on paper.
- [00:59]
A
Right.
- [01:00]
B
She was like, she looked like a model. And so I said I was like, your insides. You're rude.
- [01:05]
A
But also your point is, what you wanted to make is that you are beautiful, but we all hate your inside. No, no. But I mean, this is the easiest time to say it. This is like my dad, what you should have done. It's like. No, I. I did what I did. And now we're here. Hello and welcome to the U UP podcast. I'm Jared Freed and I am here with this week's co host, Emma Willman. Thank you for coming on.
- [01:33]
B
Happy to be here, for having me.
- [01:34]
A
So excited to have you here. I've known you forever. Long time, Long time. First time, Long time, Long time. First time, first time.
- [01:40]
B
Long time, long time, first time. And your hair is looking better than it ever has in your entire existence of me knowing you, it is a
- [01:45]
A
good hair day for me.
- [01:47]
B
Have you been talking about that you got into blow drying it?
- [01:49]
A
So I don't, I haven't mentioned it here. Thank you outing me on this. No, I, I'm blow drying my hair, so I'm keeping it long. This is what everyone tunes in for yes. How Jared's hair?
- [02:01]
B
I want to know because I can see a difference.
- [02:03]
A
I'm blow drying my hair and I'm keeping it long when I get a cut. And that's like one of those things because as a guy, they go, well, you, as, as anyone with shorter hair, you know, you go that you go to get your haircut and they go any shorter and you're like, you kind of do. You have that moment where they have the decision and then you go and they show you the mirror. They're like, I could go shorter. And you're like, ah, I did want to keep it long, but you know, do I want to come back here in two weeks?
- [02:28]
B
You know, never know what to say. They go, what do you want to do? I go, I don't know what I do about anything. And they're like, okay, you don't need to have a whole breakdown about it. I have like a existential crisis. They're like, where do you know? Where do you see yourself in a couple months? And I'm like, I screwed up, but
- [02:40]
A
I never can afford the next haircut.
- [02:42]
B
Yeah, exactly. I never know what to say. So I've been going to the same person for like six or seven years and she thinks for me now, I just kind of go in. She kind of does the vibe.
- [02:50]
A
And then she gave the barber's move. The, the hair person doesn't want to be on the hook.
- [02:56]
B
Right.
- [02:56]
A
They don't want you going home and going freaking out. What they did, they want it to be your words, your decision, so you messed up, not them. And it's really the best barbers. There's two, like versions of a great haircut person. There's the person that goes, I got you.
- [03:13]
B
Yes.
- [03:13]
A
And they have confidence. That's the one you want.
- [03:15]
B
Yeah, Risky.
- [03:15]
A
But then there's the other person who's more of a master manipulator, who's like, what are you looking for? And then they get you to say it so that if they screw up, it's your fault.
- [03:24]
B
What do you look, I didn't think of that as master manipulation. But now if some one of them says that to me, I'm like, oh, I'm on to you.
- [03:29]
A
Right?
- [03:30]
B
I know this game.
- [03:31]
A
I know game. And I go, well, what do you think? And they're like, what do you think? And you got an hour of what do you think? Because it's like again, I, I, I saw today, someone was like, here's how on Tik Tok, it was like, here's how you get the Christian Bale from Batman hairstyle.
- [03:46]
B
Oh, wow. Is that your algorithm now?
- [03:48]
A
That's Turn now. Now it is. Now we've solidified it. Yeah, because I was watching this and I was like, it's funny how Tik tok. Like, it's funny. Like we're all the same. We're all the same. I was talking about comedians like you and I. I know when I meet a comedian, I, you know, there's a Seinfeld quote.
- [04:03]
B
There is a bond.
- [04:04]
A
There's a bond because we've both killed. We've both bombed. We both called a woman ugly on the inside.
- [04:11]
B
Okay, Right. Like, he's referring to a very specific.
- [04:15]
A
Did we just say this on the air? Keep that in as the open. We both got. We'll keep it.
- [04:19]
B
Yeah, yeah.
- [04:20]
A
We both called a woman ugly on the inside who's actually pretty on the outside. Yes.
- [04:23]
B
Only because they were being. They're being so rude.
- [04:26]
A
No, they're a horrible person. They're a horrible person. If they're Watch. Watching right now, they're a horrible person. I just got a message. I just. I just got a message from a guy. He goes, this guy said, I called out his girlfriend.
- [04:37]
B
Did you.
- [04:37]
A
This message I just got is actually insane. I'm going to read it for you.
- [04:41]
B
Did you call her out by name?
- [04:42]
A
No, I never. I guess what. I do remember it vaguely. And here's the thing. We also. So with comedians. I always connect with comedians in this very familial way. I connect with comedians like I connect with Jews, to tell you the truth. It's very cultural. We've both bombed, we've both killed. We've both made mistakes on stage in front of a group of people. People. We both have notebooks in our pocket, probably. We have.
- [05:03]
B
There's a certain little psychosis.
- [05:05]
A
There's a little. Yeah, there's.
- [05:06]
B
And.
- [05:07]
A
And this is like a Seinfeld. He's always said, like comedians. He. That's like his quote, basically. And I do also believe we also are bad at homework. We cheat on the test. We. We believe in ourselves even though we shouldn't believe in ourselves.
- [05:21]
B
I used to cheat. I. I used to cheat. So I was obsessed with cheat. I remember when I was prescribed my Adderall, I knew it for. And I have add, But I knew it was a rap because then I would trade my Adderall for basically places to sit in proximity to people I could cheat off of. And I.
- [05:36]
A
This is so funny.
- [05:37]
B
I forgot about this, too. I used to get oh, this poor girl, Megan, she was so nice. This is, this is like, I feel bad.
- [05:43]
A
This is high school.
- [05:44]
B
This is high school.
- [05:45]
A
You're from Maine, the great state of Maine.
- [05:47]
B
This is incriminating because I knew that she seemed a little, like, unsure of herself, but I knew she got good test grades, so I prayed on that.
- [05:54]
A
Yes.
- [05:55]
B
And I lived. Like, I know. I think back on it and I was like, it's so, like, predatory. And I would, like, give her Adderall and like, build her up and then, like, I'd like, cheat off of her. Like, I've seen doctors.
- [06:05]
A
You're like a person in the wire. Like, you're like a drug dealing.
- [06:09]
B
It's all I watch is get them
- [06:10]
A
hooked on the goods and then I can use them.
- [06:12]
B
I'll protect you. Like, it's like almost like what pimps do. It's like, awful. But. But I used to give her Adderall and we were. Had a friendship of sorts. But then I would get, like, annoyed if we wouldn't get a good grade. Like, I'd be like a B, right? We need an A. Like, you don't care about your future.
- [06:29]
A
You want. You want more drugs, you better start studying.
- [06:32]
B
She's like, I don't even want the Adderall. Like, you're scaring me. Like, I obsessed with getting good grades.
- [06:37]
A
I. Listen, it is it. This is. Comedians are some of the best and worst people you have ever met.
- [06:43]
B
How did you cheat? Did you have a system?
- [06:44]
A
I would always just sit next to a really smart person. I would let people a lot of, like, a lot of charm, a lot
- [06:50]
B
of, like, butter him up beforehand.
- [06:51]
A
Like, oh, the homework. Oh, my God, you get it done. You know, I'll get you back next time. You know, like, just like, I was definitely. This is my whole life. Like, summer reading. I. I've said this here. Summer reading. I would just go, nope, not doing it. We'll figure it out when we get
- [07:06]
B
to the class, right?
- [07:07]
A
Like, I'm not gonna coast, right? I'm not like, wasting my summer. I'll start with an F and work on my way back. Because I believe there's this weird, no confidence confidence thing that most comedians have of, like, I'll go on stage and figure it out. Like, I, you know, a lot of comics say they write on stage. They'll go, well, I don't have the joke, but I have the premise, right? And then they just believe if they go on, it will just magically appear in their head. And I still believe that to this day. Sixteen years into doing this, sometimes it
- [07:33]
B
happens, sometimes it doesn't, right?
- [07:35]
A
And you're like. And, and you go. And then when it doesn't, you go, I can't believe I, I thought this would work again.
- [07:40]
B
I wonder if the teacher could just tell from your body language and what you were saying. Like he's. Or she's at the front of the room and sees you going up to someone. And then you do the little spiel of like, oh, the homework was tough. Like, he just knew. He was like, oh, Jared's just going into it where you're like, Jared getting
- [07:53]
A
the homework off this nerd.
- [07:55]
B
Because you're like, man. Like, oh, I. Did you finish it? Like, ah, my. Something's like always having some little excuse, right? And then you'd get it off.
- [08:02]
A
So I was talk friend on the phone earlier and I, I had to cancel on. I got. I, I made a mistake and I had to cancel on him. We had a dinner planned for tonight with him and his wife. And I, I said, you know how he always says that I do sitcom. My. I always operate in sitcom ways.
- [08:21]
B
Huh.
- [08:21]
A
What does that mean? You wait until the last. You choose the, the weirdest route and then wait until the last possible second to figure way out to deal with it in the most acute way possible.
- [08:37]
B
Now, it's good that he trusted you enough to tell you that.
- [08:41]
A
Of course. No. And he's right. I'm. I'm Kevin James in the sitcom where I appreciate. It's Valentine's Day and I haven't gotten a gift, so I'm going to drive to Florida to go pick up a card to make sure that I could get the gift in time for Valentine. Like, the dumbest route at the last possible second where it will blow up in my face.
- [09:00]
B
The most story of my life.
- [09:02]
A
Right? I think that's most comedians you put in way more.
- [09:04]
B
It would you put more effort into doing the thing because than it would have just taken to do the thing originally. You put more effort into figuring out ways to cheat than it would have taken to just study and learn this stuff.
- [09:13]
A
It is the. And so I. Oh, I wanted to read this dm.
- [09:17]
B
I appreciate that he said that to you though, because when his friend pushes back on that, then it's like, okay, this is like a sign of growth. Like, he trusts you enough to want to like, say, like, this bothers me, right?
- [09:26]
A
Oh, I, I didn't think he was bothered. Oh, I thought he was just like, it's pretty funny that you do this
- [09:31]
B
and I'm going to keep doing probably maybe if he was bothered or maybe a little annoyed to, like, point it out.
- [09:36]
A
Well, I think what I, I will say he definitely, like, operates in a world where that's how I operate.
- [09:42]
B
Okay.
- [09:42]
A
I think that's a good friend. Like, I, absolutely. When I, like. I think most of friendship to me is knowing what that friend kind of serves for me. What they, you know, the way that they can be a friend, and then managing the expectations. Like, I don't sit there and go, emma hasn't called me in weeks.
- [09:58]
B
Right.
- [09:58]
A
What the.
- [09:59]
B
Right.
- [09:59]
A
I go, when I see Emma, I enjoy having a time with you and talking, you know, comedy. Appreciate it and seeing you and know that you're on your journey. I'm on my journey. But I, there's, you know, I think that's like a, that is, to me, the, the. I don't know. I, I. When I hear people talk about friend. You ever had a friend breakup?
- [10:19]
B
Yeah.
- [10:20]
A
You have?
- [10:20]
B
It was awful. But it wasn't. I mean, it's. Yeah.
- [10:23]
A
How'd you do it?
- [10:24]
B
It was awful.
- [10:25]
A
Did they dump you or you dump them?
- [10:27]
B
It was like we were had. We were doing, like, a co. But then we've, like, ended up making up. So maybe it doesn't count as a friend breakup. I had a friend.
- [10:33]
A
I've never had a friend breakup.
- [10:34]
B
You've never. So we did.
- [10:35]
A
I've never been mad enough at a friend to think or. I've never needed a friend.
- [10:40]
B
It's one of my biggest regrets. And how, like, I. But it was like, just. It was more about my girlfriend and I talk about this where it'll be like, okay, we've got roommate problems and relationship problems.
- [10:48]
A
Yeah.
- [10:48]
B
So roommate problem is I leave the cat, I leave the cabinets.
- [10:51]
A
This is you and your girlfriend.
- [10:53]
B
This is me and my girlfriend.
- [10:53]
A
So you and your girlfriend live together, and you, you divide the problems into roommate problems and girlfriend.
- [11:00]
B
Well, she has to, I think, to stay with me. So girlfriend, girlfriend, as in, like, the gay sense. And then the friend who I had the breakup with just like, girlfriend. Like, friends girlfriend. So the friend breakup was more of like a. What would count as like, a roommate problem because we had a business thing that we were doing together. Lots of miscommunication, different goals. And then that changed the friendship. But then we ended up years later, like, apologizing.
- [11:23]
A
Well, the money that French friend breakups with money more understandable to me.
- [11:28]
B
And the friendship was so much more important to me than the.
- [11:31]
A
What we were doing business.
- [11:33]
B
It was like, it was like A whole thing. But it was like. But then I had another friend when I worked at an office where. Where then we just like, ended up, like, drifting apart. But that happens too.
- [11:42]
A
Drifting apart.
- [11:43]
B
To me, I've had lots of friends with drifted up.
- [11:45]
A
Maybe I. Maybe this is my form of being on the spectrum. Yeah, I think I'm on the spectrum too. Do you think so? I think something. I think that's why it's a spectrum. We're all on it.
- [11:54]
B
Yeah, I'm on, like, the beginning of something. And I didn't think I was. But on constantly on tick tock, people go, oh, you're autistic.
- [12:02]
A
Yeah, I don't know. I. I hate being Diag by Tik tok.
- [12:05]
B
I started doing.
- [12:05]
A
Getting diagnosed by the craziest people alive.
- [12:08]
B
I think I'm. Well, I don't know.
- [12:10]
A
I don't know.
- [12:10]
B
I don't know.
- [12:10]
A
Well, I think my form of not realizing the, you know, if we're to define it as not realizing the weather in the room or not being in touch with, you know, the, you know, social abuse or whatever, when I come back to, like, if I haven't talked to someone for years, I have no issue being like, hey, been a while.
- [12:30]
B
Totally, how you been? And they're like, you missed my wedding. You missed my. This.
- [12:34]
A
I wouldn't even think of their wedding. I wouldn't think of their wife. I wouldn't think of anything. I would just be like, hey, been a while. What's going on?
- [12:41]
B
And that'll work for some people, not for other people.
- [12:43]
A
Maybe you've had offended by that friend breakup, checked in.
- [12:45]
B
Right?
- [12:46]
A
I don't know if I'd be friends with the. You haven't checked in person. Like, I don't know. I. So I wanted to talk about this. This message. I think I talked about it here. This girl, I remember her like grandma was passing away and she, like, said, my grandma's dying wish.
- [13:01]
B
And how did. How'd you know this person?
- [13:02]
A
I didn't. There was a dm. Was like, my grandma's dying wishes that we go on a date together.
- [13:07]
B
Wow.
- [13:07]
A
And I was like, making fun of it.
- [13:09]
B
What a lie.
- [13:10]
A
Well, it was like. That was like the. The what I would squeeze out of the message. Like, I'm sure it was as long a thing. So now I get this message. I have a show in New York on Friday. Jared, excited to see your show tomorrow. My girlfriend got us surprise tickets for Valentine's Day leading up to the show. Told me a very funny story about you too. When you get a dm. My girlfriend told me a very funny story about you, too.
- [13:31]
B
You too.
- [13:32]
A
I'm like, here we like. I'm like, I'm, like, scrunching up and I'm getting ready for the worst.
- [13:38]
B
You don't know the tone because he go, oh, yeah, she told me a story about you too. And you go, oh, it's more likely that tone than being, oh, my girlfriend told me a story about YouTube. Like, that's a tough one to read, right?
- [13:49]
A
At this point in this reading, I'm ready to, like, leave New York, walk into the woods, never to be seen again.
- [13:54]
B
The show's actually canceled, so there's no show.
- [13:56]
A
Came over before I was in the picture. My girlfriend unfortunately had a Jewish grandmother. I. I would call that just a grandmother.
- [14:04]
B
I would call that, like, a little anti Semitic.
- [14:07]
A
I won't go that far. But yeah, had this. Well, if he had written. He had this. She had this Jew grandma.
- [14:15]
B
Is it unfortunate that she's Jewish?
- [14:18]
A
Yeah. My girlfriend unfortunately had a Jewish grandmother. That's crazy. No, read the full sentence. That does make it sound. My girlfriend unfortunately had a Jew grandma. No, my girlfriend unfortunately had a Jewish grandma pass away. Oh, God. Who always told her to find a nice Jewish man. Overcome with swirling emotions, she decided to DM you, telling you about her dead grandmom while simultaneously asking for a date. She's always been a go getter.
- [14:47]
B
This is him saying the swirling emotions. I'm guessing that that's just how she presented. She's like, oh, my emotions were swirling. I hadn't met you yet.
- [14:54]
A
Well, from my end, it's like, I. I guess now it' is working to make me feel bad that I was so, like, callous like you. You know, you and your. Your. Your dead grandma.
- [15:05]
B
No date. No.
- [15:06]
A
I think it's rude to put her dead grandma's last wish on me.
- [15:10]
B
I didn't think of it like that.
- [15:12]
A
Now I'm bringing it back to how I felt before. Yeah, you did not respond, but her friend apparently listened to a podcast that you were a guest on and proceeded to tell a story about a fan who had a dead Jewish grandma and spun that into a date request. Best don't worry. My girlfriend thinks it's absolutely hilarious and perhaps a sign it wasn't meant to be.
- [15:29]
B
Isn't it weird that he sent that message too? Like, that's so weird. Why would he tell you that? Also, I. That would freak me out. Because he did. He said, don't be scared. Don't be worried.
- [15:39]
A
I'd Be a little worried, right? I'm a little. I mean, don't be. Don't worry.
- [15:43]
B
Don't worry.
- [15:44]
A
Anyways, can't wait to see the show. Well, when he says, anyways, can't wait to see the show, that solves everything.
- [15:48]
B
I hope.
- [15:48]
A
I'm like, right, he's gonna stand up. You wouldn't date my ugly girlfriend.
- [15:53]
B
Right.
- [15:53]
A
And she's like, my emotions were swirling. Right. Also, I'm not Jewish, so I'm not sure how I got so lucky to be with her.
- [16:00]
B
So he said that at the end. I find it a little odd.
- [16:02]
A
The Jewish thing is getting very.
- [16:04]
B
It's odd. Yeah.
- [16:05]
A
I think that's. The more I hear back on it, the more I'm like, I don't know.
- [16:08]
B
Are you gonna bring it up at the show?
- [16:10]
A
Yeah, I'm gonna spend the whole show
- [16:11]
B
just talking about it.
- [16:12]
A
A couple and we're gonna have a threesome. Is so is that what you're doing?
- [16:17]
B
Is that your Valentine's Day?
- [16:18]
A
We're gonna spread the Jewish grandma's ashes all over us while we make love that night. This episode is brought to you by Athletic Brewing company. No matter how you do game day, on the couch, in the crowd, or manning the snack table, Athletic Brewing fits right in with a full lineup of non alcoholic beer styles you can enjoy. Bold flavors all game long. No hangovers, no buzz, no subbing out for water in the second half. Stock the fridge for tip off with a variety of non alcoholic craft styles. Available at your local grocery store or online at athleticbrewing.com near beer fit for all times. TikTok E free. Tedejar El Presio Hasta sero descarga TikTok. The world moves fast. Your workday even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint and other Microsoft 365 apps you use, helping you quickly write, analyze, create, and summarize so you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn more@Microsoft.com M365Copilot okay, so Emma Willman's here. Everyone go follow Emma. Hilarious comic. I've known Emma forever and you're gonna love Emma if you don't already.
- [17:50]
B
Thank you.
- [17:50]
A
So funny. I want to do a red flagger deal breaker. Are you ready? So red flag or deal breaker is a game we play. It's a game that's sweeping the country, actually. Yeah. You're dating someone. One. You're having a Great day. One thing happens. It's either a red flag, you notice it, but you keep going. Or it's a deal breaker ended sight unseen. You ready?
- [18:09]
B
Ready.
- [18:09]
A
Jared, Jordana and Emma. I'm obsessed with the show. I've listened to everyone since the first episode. Straight after having this text conversation, I thought of Jared and laughed. Hey, you look pretty chubby today. I thought of Jared and I. Some backstory. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years are more solid than ever. The one thing that drives me absolutely crazy is that he loves correcting my grammar wherever he gets a chance. I've never said anything until this point. I'm dyslexic and I hate even using that as an excuse. But reading and writing has always been a challenge for me and he's totally aware of this. That said, coming off as stupid is kind of a fear of mine and something I have always been self conscious about. I ended up going to a prestigious art school and pursuing a career in design. So regardless of my dyslexia, I have managed a pretty successful career so far. Who cares if I spell things wrong every once in a while? Would love to hear your thoughts on the conversation below. Do you think it's fair for him to correct my spelling like this is a red FL flag? Or should I just let it slide since he's trying to quote help? How do I set boundaries around something I can't control without making it a big deal? So red flagger, deal breaker. He can't stop correcting my spelling and knows I'm dyslexic.
- [19:23]
B
I'm dyslexic.
- [19:24]
A
So, Emma, you're dyslexic. I've known this about you from the texting. From the text.
- [19:29]
B
Yeah.
- [19:30]
A
It's all I can think. That's why I don't text you.
- [19:32]
B
It really is a thing. Like.
- [19:33]
A
Well, it's. It's crazy to make fun of someone who is dyslexic.
- [19:38]
B
So did you get from this. Does he know she's dyslexic?
- [19:42]
A
She. I mean, in her message she says she.
- [19:44]
B
Right.
- [19:45]
A
He knows. So we'll read the text. Okay.
- [19:47]
B
Please.
- [19:47]
A
The text actually adds a lot of like, you know, we. We say the answer is always in the text, always in the emails. But before we get here, I. I just have to say, it is so funny. She's like, no, I'm totally cool with it. But I did go to the most prestigious art school in the country and
- [20:03]
B
it's like, here' the reason someone does that. So I. That's like a nervous tick. I'll have like, I'll be like, oh, I. I was in special ed in high school. It. But I'll be like, I ended up going to grad school and I had a 3.8 in college. I don't even know if that's true about college, but I. But it's. I just start throwing stuff out there because you feel insecure about it.
- [20:18]
A
Is it a lifetime struggle? I mean, like, what's the lifetime struggle? When did you realize you were dyslexic? And how does that kind of like play out?
- [20:25]
B
I realized, I think when I was in. I think I started getting these tests when I remember way back, my mom told me we were going to her friend's house.
- [20:33]
A
House.
- [20:33]
B
It was me, my brother and my sister. When we go and we get there and it was like hours away and the woman was testing our iq and I remember this really well. And my brother ended up being diagnosed a genius. My sister did really well on it. And then my mom wouldn't tell me my score. I swear to God.
- [20:47]
A
Oh my God. It's like the three bears.
- [20:49]
B
Yeah, it's the three bears. And one of them.
- [20:51]
A
This one's too smart. This one just right.
- [20:54]
B
Yeah, exactly.
- [20:55]
A
Very stupid.
- [20:56]
B
Me, I'm like putting the honeycomb in my butt. They're like, oh, boy.
- [20:59]
A
And where'd she even get honeycomb?
- [21:03]
B
Yeah, exactly. I remember then feeling like something was off. And they're like, oh, it's not that you necessarily did bad on the score, per se, but they. I did get additional testing and then I then. So I. You feel this like, stigma because you feel different, right? And I didn't know exactly what it was, but in texting it would. So I would, I would spell check, spell check every single thing. But you get comfortable with someone, you stop spell checking.
- [21:24]
A
Well, the texting thing, it's. It's, you know, it's funny. It's like, you get out of school, we don't have real cell phones or comments, right? You. There is a thought like, well, at least I won write again and no one will see my writing. And then it's like, no, we're going to communicate this way only from now on, it's like, it's like a worst nightmare scenario and all.
- [21:42]
B
Especially, like, if I get like, worked up. It's just gibberish, cuz. And I, I'll be typing really quick and then I'll realize like, oh, this. It's. That's where the dyslexia. Do you ever talk to text now.
- [21:51]
A
I do talk to text now and it's.
- [21:54]
B
It's tough because I like never even tried it.
- [21:56]
A
Never tried it.
- [21:57]
B
Never even tried it.
- [21:58]
A
I'd give it a shot. I. I like it. But it does come out a little bit. You have to like reread your work.
- [22:03]
B
Right.
- [22:03]
A
Would that be difficult for you to reread your work and correct it?
- [22:06]
B
Reading is no pro. Reading is no problem. Like I even a teleprompter. I'll read a teleprompter really fast.
- [22:11]
A
Really.
- [22:12]
B
So I can do that. But any type of trying to learn another or conjugate stuff or. I remember with algebra. No Geometry when they had the letters and the numbers, I said oh, this is not good.
- [22:22]
A
This is.
- [22:22]
B
This is already how I'm seeing some stuff. So it was not.
- [22:24]
A
So if someone.
- [22:25]
B
It's insecurity.
- [22:26]
A
But that's the thing. If I found out someone's dyslexia making fun of them for it or it's really. It's not even like. Well, we. You know the rules of comedy. You know, you don't it. We were talking in the beginning. The cold open is all about dealing with a heckler who's beautiful but also is being a piece of.
- [22:45]
B
Yes.
- [22:46]
A
So you know that you need the room to know that they know they're beautiful or think they're beautiful. Like there's context. There's got to be context. So like, like to make fun of someone for being dyslexic, you really have to have like a perfect hallway to walk through. You need a perfect hole. This is where when people ask and not to go like Comedy 101. This isn't really. But when people say oh, everyone's offended. That's not the truth.
- [23:13]
B
No, not at all.
- [23:13]
A
No, no, everyone's not offended. You didn't work hard enough to make the joke work.
- [23:18]
B
100%. Totally.
- [23:20]
A
So it's like the, it's. It's comedians absolving themselves of blame. Right. You know, and even a good joke doesn't work sometimes. That's not because everyone's offended.
- [23:28]
B
Right?
- [23:29]
A
The context of the room.
- [23:30]
B
Totally not everyone's going to like everything. Let's read the. What? The text was you.
- [23:35]
A
I'll be him, you be her.
- [23:36]
B
Okay, great.
- [23:37]
A
I'll be the asshole.
- [23:38]
B
Okay. Ready?
- [23:40]
A
How is your day? I'm heading to a workout at 6:30. Strength training this time. That was unprompted. She didn't go. What's your day? What kind of workout are you doing? He's just like. Just doing lats and trats. Strength training.
- [23:58]
B
It was good. I've been. It's. It was good. Then now I had dyslexically. Can't read it. You're like, oh, this is getting real meta. Wait a minute. It was good.
- [24:06]
A
Maybe I should have been the dyslexic one.
- [24:08]
B
It was good. It's been downpouring all day, so pretty gloomy and wet. But I got a quick workout in this afternoon, which helped.
- [24:14]
A
Nice. What's down pouring? A skin care technique. Winky face emoji.
- [24:21]
B
Do you ever realize how you sound when you correct grammar over text? Lol.
- [24:26]
A
Yeah, I sound like I'm trying to get you to realize you didn't spell it right by mixing it with a joke. So I'm not just calling you out. It's a lot kinder than just responding downpouring. Spelled correctly.
- [24:38]
B
You could just ignore it.
- [24:40]
A
Ha.
- [24:40]
B
It makes me feel stupid when you do that. I know how to spell pouring, babe. I don't care to review my quickly typed text for errors before sending. When you corre direct grammar over text or social media, it comes off like you think you're better than someone else. Just saying. Always been a pet peeve of mine. Love you. And no, you don't mean it that way. I'm just letting you know.
- [24:59]
A
Sorry, but a pet peeve of mine. That following up someone's pet peeve with your own pet peeve.
- [25:10]
B
Yeah.
- [25:11]
A
Is never gonna end the biggest douchebag move move that is. That's like I'm looking to break up with you.
- [25:17]
B
It's like it's fully going into the territory of like, I'm sorry, but if you. And it's like, okay, just those two separate.
- [25:26]
A
Right. This. This is like you are. This is the beginning of a month long argument that they're like to me. But my. Let me raise your pet peeve with my pet peeve. Sorry, but a pet peeve of mine is people that misspell idol items. You don't come off as bright when you spell it that way. So I call you out so you don't make that mistake with someone else.
- [25:49]
B
So a little empathy up top would have gone a long way. The thing I'm curious about is. Oh, and she signed her thing off best linguistic loser.
- [25:58]
A
So this is. This is tough. It's tough for her to say some backstory. My boyfriend have been together three years and are more solid than ever. And then this text exchange.
- [26:08]
B
So 3.
- [26:08]
A
They are not more solid.
- [26:10]
B
How bad was it before?
- [26:11]
A
Right. This is bad.
- [26:12]
B
It's Also been together three years. So they have. I'll think of a relationship as, like having a bunch of pillars. So they must have some other pillars we're not seeing. It's just that the way he's talking to her does make it seem like, are you sure it's not bleeding into other pillars? Because it's.
- [26:28]
A
It.
- [26:28]
B
There's no empathy, there's no kindness towards knowing it's something that you might be insecure about.
- [26:32]
A
Well, totally agree. Because the way she handled it is like, like, like relationship 100. This should be taught in classes. Like the way she said to him, hey, it's really a pet peeve of mine. She didn't use her actual dyslexia to, like, make him feel bad about doing something that, like, in the grand scheme, if you went to, like, an audience and you were like, hey, this guy made fun of his girlfriend who has dyslexia for having dyslexia, the whole room would be like, boo. Shame. She didn't do that.
- [27:07]
B
Right? She.
- [27:08]
A
She is instead was like, Let me just tell you, she was vulnerable. Let me tell you how it makes me feel. I feel stupid when you do that. I know you. I know. I know how to spell boring. Like, I didn't go back and check it. When you correct grammar, it comes off. And telling you how it comes off as you're better than me. Which it totally does.
- [27:25]
B
Totally.
- [27:26]
A
I'm telling you how I feel. I'm telling you it's feelings and how it comes off. So I'm not saying you are someone who thinks they're better than someone. I'm saying this is my. How my feelings are.
- [27:34]
B
Are.
- [27:35]
A
So you're not even saying in the grand scheme that they're a bad person. And then you say love you. No, you don't mean it that way. I'm just letting you know. I'm letting you know how my feelings get affected by when. When you do this with my grammar. And then his response is literally to be like, I want to make sure you don't look like a dumb idiot to all the other people when you're texting them. I'm saving you.
- [28:00]
B
That's the worst part of it to me too, because it's making. How self conscious is she's going to be. Also, I wonder how many times I just feel for her where she. I know how to spell pouring babe, because if that was me, I wouldn't have known how to spell it and I would have had to, like, look it up and then put it back in because you're trying to like save face a little bit, but you should not have to do that with your partner. Plus, I've been together three years and it's like, hey, I obviously I've got people in my life that I text with and it hasn't been a problem. I'll tell you if it is a problem and I need your help there. Would you break up over this?
- [28:27]
A
Yeah.
- [28:28]
B
Really?
- [28:28]
A
I think correcting someone's grammar over text is like the biggest piece of shit move. I can't see a scenario where it's necessary. I think think correcting someone's grammar or spelling because what he's saying is not true. It's not like he's going to come back six from six months from now.
- [28:45]
B
It's belittling.
- [28:46]
A
Right? Because he's not going to come back six months from now. And hey, spelling be time. Let's see if you've gotten better. Like he's not going to do that. He doesn't care if she's better. He cares about letting her know where she play is placed in the world.
- [28:58]
B
He's taking her weakness and then like dunking on someone who cannot even be competing in that type of a sport.
- [29:05]
A
Right.
- [29:06]
B
I mean I.
- [29:07]
A
Would you break up with this person? Like, I mean you're, you, you deal with this. So now when someone corrects you, do you let them off the hook?
- [29:14]
B
So it's so tough to. If they hadn't been together for three years, if she was like, I've been dating this guy for four months of absolutely. I'd be like, red flag, red flag, red flag. It's so hard when it's a, when it's a three year relationship. But honestly I would say that the way that someone's responding this, it just doesn't. This is a big thing to say from this thing, but there's like a real lack of respect there. It's cruel. It's really cruel.
- [29:35]
A
Right. If she had said, I actually think if she had said we're three months in, I would be like, maybe he just doesn't understand.
- [29:43]
B
Right.
- [29:43]
A
I was three years in.
- [29:45]
B
He should know better.
- [29:46]
A
He should know better. So I think this is a, like to me, like it's a deal breaker. I, I mean even on the small
- [29:52]
B
scale, like I'm going to say deal breaker too. And also, just so you know, I would. I. When you, the way you spell downpouring, I did not notice that was spelled wrong. Just so if that, if that offers any condolences, I was like, yeah, downpouring.
- [30:04]
A
This Is my problem with people who check your grammar.
- [30:07]
B
Right.
- [30:08]
A
You understood it Totally. You got to the place we needed to get to this texting is shorthand. If you really like couldn't understand me, we would have a phone call. Texting is like the reason you text is to get from point A to point B very quickly. So if you got to point B, we're there. So to correct me as if we're going to be entered into the county spelling bee and we gotta make sure that we're ready for the big test. No, we don't.
- [30:36]
B
Talking about cheating. That was. That did me in on. Because I would cheat on the spelling test off someone. But then the spelling bee, they call you up, you're in front of everybody.
- [30:45]
A
You have a spelling Yes I never
- [30:46]
B
had with Mrs. Quigley. And I still remember it.
- [30:50]
A
You, Mrs. Quigley.
- [30:51]
B
I remember it so well because then I had to stand up and I can't cheat off of. Of the person next to me because I got to spell it in real time. And I remember getting so I would get in trouble just to go to the principal's office to avoid it. Like I'm like kicking someone just to get out.
- [31:03]
A
You and I are like the same age.
- [31:05]
B
Get me out of here.
- [31:06]
A
And you went to school like in the old prairie in Maine.
- [31:09]
B
You had no spelling bees.
- [31:10]
A
I don't think so. That's so funny.
- [31:14]
B
Spelling bees. And it's. It's torture. So you know what? I actually. Maybe that's like some type of internalized like problem with dyslexia where you're like, oh, just feeling bad about it. You're. You're right. I. I actually think that this is a deal breaker. Sorry to say that full compassion to a three year relationship was right there, but this is really shitty. And think about this. So my therapist helped me see this. If you're having a hard time figuring out whether it's okay for someone to talk to you like that picture. Say you guys down the line had a kid and your kid was dyslexic and he was doing this to them or like a little version of you or someone else. Then you'd be like, hey, what a jerk. Like, I don't want to be around that person.
- [31:46]
A
I'm just making sure that you don't sound like a big dum dum when you go out of the house and start talking to other people. And you're connected to me. And now I look like a dumb.
- [31:57]
B
Dumb.
- [31:57]
A
That's what he saw.
- [31:58]
B
You're right. Yeah. Okay.
- [32:00]
A
Deal breaker.com UUP betches.com here with Emma Wellman. Everyone go follow Emma. Emma's fantastic. So funny. You're on the road.
- [32:07]
B
I'm on the road. Starting in mid March, I'm on the road like every weekend. All my tour dates are up@imawoman.com I love it.
- [32:17]
A
So good, so good. So good.
- [32:19]
B
New spring arrivals are at Nordstrom Rack stores. Now get ready to save. Big was up 60% off rag and Bone, Marc Jacobs. Free people and more.
- [32:29]
A
How did I not know rack has Adidas? Cause there's always something new.
- [32:32]
B
Join the NordicLub to unlock exclusive discounts. Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. This episode is brought to you by White Claw Surge. Nice choice hitting up this podcast.
- [32:52]
A
No surprises.
- [32:53]
B
You're all about diving into tastes everyone
- [32:55]
A
in the room can enjoy.
- [32:56]
B
Just like White Claw Surge. It's for celebrating those moments when connections have been made and the night's just begun. With bold flavors and 8% alcohol by volume. Unleash the night. Unleash White Claw Surge. Please drink responsibly. Hard seltzer with flavors, 8% alcohol by volume. White Claw Seltzer works Chicago, Illinois.
- [33:16]
A
Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney. Let's go get ready for a new case.
- [33:20]
B
We're the greatest partners of all time. New friends the Snake and your last name, the Snake Dream team. New habitats. Zootopia has a secret reptile population.
- [33:30]
A
You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home.
- [33:33]
B
Zootopia 2 now available on Disney Plus. Rated PG.
- [33:36]
A
And right now you can get Disney plus and Hulu for just 4.99amonth for three months with a special limited time offer. Ends March 24th. After three months, Plan Auto renews at 12.99amonth. Terms apply. Let's do some advice. JJ and E. My sister told me about the podcast a few years back. I have now proudly listened to every single episode and I'm in love. You. Anyways, I think I might be a lesbian. All right. Strong open.
- [33:58]
B
Strong open.
- [33:59]
A
I have known I was Bisex and
- [34:00]
B
I'm sure that has nothing to do with what she's gleaned from. It's not like she's listened to you for a couple years and is like, I'm gay. Not that you would have thought that, but take it that way.
- [34:08]
A
Thanks.
- [34:09]
B
Good, good, good.
- [34:10]
A
Yeah. After listening to every episode of your podcast, I do not want to you at all.
- [34:16]
B
Thanks, Jared.
- [34:17]
A
Thank you for pushing Me totally away from the male species altogether.
- [34:22]
B
Or maybe because you're so great. If she doesn't like you, then she's like, I must be gay.
- [34:26]
A
Oh well, you really turn. Good work. I have known I was bisexual ever since 2017. The summer after I graduated high school. This is when my longtime high school boyfriend and I broke up. And one drunken night I made out with the hottest girl in my camp that I later got kicked out of. I always found women attractive, have been the third in a couple of threesomes. With that said, I was never attracted to the man in the relationship. I just really wanted to hook up with their girl so I would accept. Several years later. I have been in a relationship with a man steady for three years. While the first few years at the beginning we were friends with benefits. I could go a lot into this relationship but a couple of concerns. He can be old fashioned. Has joked that I should be a stay at home wife. He isn't Jewish. Not a problem. But my parents want my future partner to be Jewish. I have felt like we are more like companions over anything over the past few months or maybe a year. I don't feel like I'm attracted to him anymore. And sex lately has been rare, mostly for his benefit. While I love him a lot, I am not romantically in love with him. Recently being approached by men has made me even more uncomfortable than anything. Whenever I have been out with a girl in the past, I felt more attracted, safer and more comfortable. I thought you may have some insight and give me some advice on how to navigate the situation. How do you separate sexual curiosity from sexual identity? I love you both so much and also love the J Train oversharing podcast. Please let help me les be honest. What do you think, Emma?
- [35:49]
B
I think no matter what sex, if you're. If you feel this way about your partner, you should, you know, get out of it and then give your space to figure this out. So it'd be like two separate things. There's something I was reading about recently. It's called compulsory heterosexuality.
- [36:03]
A
Okay.
- [36:03]
B
Where it's like that's like what you're pushed into because that's what society is telling you to do. So you're just like going with the flow, right. And it's guided. Have you seen Heated Rivalry?
- [36:14]
A
I've watched the first two episodes. I'm waiting because three is where it
- [36:17]
B
kicked in for me.
- [36:18]
A
Okay. So I'm so. I have a question about heated.
- [36:21]
B
Okay. Yeah.
- [36:21]
A
For you and I. Let me start with the email. I agree with you Completely. These are two different issues. If they took the sexuality part out of it. They just don't seem to like their boyfriend. They don't like to seem to like their partner. They should that. It is a Pemdas thing you got to do. You got to end this relationship. We can deal with the sexuality after that is something you could. That doing on your own is a lot easier than Pemdas. Like order of operations, it was like parentheses. And math, it was like parentheses, exclamation, exponent.
- [36:50]
B
Nice.
- [36:51]
A
Multiplication, division, addition, subtraction. Okay, we won't get into it. I didn't even know it. So I'm using something I don't know. The heated rivalry. So we've solved her issue. You're a lesbian. There.
- [37:07]
B
So in it there is a. There's a thing where you. I'm. Oh, this is a spoiler.
- [37:11]
A
Well, don't. Okay, you can spoil it. I'm sorry. Because I should see. I'm. I'm waiting for episode three cuz I. There was someone I wanted to watch it with.
- [37:19]
B
Episode three. Really? So say. Let me to not have a spoiler on that. Hypothetically.
- [37:24]
A
Okay. Yeah.
- [37:25]
B
You see how people react when someone is with someone. The fear of if they're with someone of the same. Same sex and then how supportive someone is when they're with someone of the opposite sex. Like they're so excited and oh my God, they're so cute. They're not getting any weird looks, all that stuff. So that's part of compulsory homosexuality.
- [37:40]
A
To add on to that she mentions in her email the Jewish part. She's like, my parents would like, like me to be with a Jewish person. So she is kind of suspect to that.
- [37:53]
B
Right?
- [37:53]
A
The compulsion, the, the societal stuff. Because if she's taking that note from her parents and I don't want to
- [37:59]
B
add another stressor but they might not. They might also not want you to be with a woman.
- [38:03]
A
You know what I mean?
- [38:04]
B
They might be like, you know, right. But hopefully you find the. A perfect Jewish woman.
- [38:09]
A
Well, whatever you find, they are somewhat. They. What you're saying in the back of your head. They, they if they're worried about the parents and what they think about the religion of the person they're dating, then they are worried about the world, you know, judging them for objects. Other things too. Like there's a correlation.
- [38:25]
B
There are people where they'll be like, yeah, I. I came out and then people were like, that's fine as long as you marry an Indian. You know what I mean?
- [38:32]
A
That happens.
- [38:33]
B
That happens.
- [38:34]
A
So heated rivalry. Let's. Okay, let's. Let's.
- [38:36]
B
So with this, I would say like our. The autism is a spectrum. The queerness, sexuality is a spectrum. And to give your space to. To figure that, to wrap up the relationship and then give your space to figure that out and who knows where it might land now.
- [38:48]
A
Have you been with a woman? Woman that was like kind of in this scenario?
- [38:55]
B
Help me, please. I have.
- [38:58]
A
You've been with a woman. Holy.
- [39:01]
B
That's crazy. Where they were like, just coming out.
- [39:04]
A
Yeah.
- [39:05]
B
So I'm not attracted to straight women at like, I. The more comfortable someone is with their sexuality, the more like, attractive that is to me. But in college, I was with someone who was deeply clashing. She was from Saudi Arabia, she was awesome. And she couldn't be out, like, at all.
- [39:22]
A
And it was so very similar types. So I'm already imagining someone I would fuck so hard.
- [39:28]
B
Like, it was really hard to wrap my head around. But I was like, I get it. Because of everything going on in her life. And it was so sad. She had a boyfriend. And I remember her telling me once, she was like, you know, this is so sad. She was like, when sometimes, like when we're like about to hook up and his penis gets hard, she goes, I start crying. And then we take out the Quran and read it together.
- [39:46]
A
I said, come on.
- [39:47]
B
Damn.
- [39:47]
A
Oh, my God.
- [39:48]
B
Heartbreak.
- [39:49]
A
I feel bad for him.
- [39:50]
B
I feel bad for everybody.
- [39:51]
A
Right, Right.
- [39:52]
B
I feel bad for everybody.
- [39:53]
A
I feel bad for everybody.
- [39:54]
B
It is.
- [39:54]
A
I feel bad for the Quran. You got to sit there with these two people who barely want to read you, you know, so serious, seriously time you. You only come out when there's a boy.
- [40:03]
B
Guys.
- [40:03]
A
Totally guys. I'm like, you know, we're trying.
- [40:05]
B
Horrible situation. So I have been so. That was the time I was with someone where they were like, just coming out. I don't even know if she ever came out now, but. And really struggling with it. But I've had lots of like, friends in this situation. For sure.
- [40:16]
A
It's gotta be that. That stinks. I. But I think like, you know, if to give any advice at all, like what you said, two different issues here. Like, let's get rid of this boyfriend.
- [40:27]
B
Get rid of the boyfriend.
- [40:28]
A
He's not for you. Male, female, whatever he is, whatever they are, you. You're not into this.
- [40:34]
B
And that's.
- [40:34]
A
And that's hard. And I think sometimes with a breakup up, no matter what the relationship is, you're just like looking for ways to vilify someone. Like, you have A reason to break up. And I think her being, like, you know, bringing up her sexuality, she's trying to, like, give reason to, like, end things with a nice guy that she likes. And it's like, you don't have to do that. You don't. You're not into it. And that's. Listen, easier said than done. It's hard to. Inside.
- [40:59]
B
But also, if you're. Part of you is like, oh, maybe if I was straight, I would like him more. That's. That's totally valid. But whatever the reason is, you don't. So I would get out of it. And how exciting it could be if all of a sudden you figure out where you're like, I remember in high school when my friends. I was like, deeply in the closet, so in the closet. I used to. I used to make a big deal out of being, like, against gay marriage when I was in high school. Yeah. And I remember my friend Margot, who was like, you sound really ignorant. Like, my mom's best friend's a lesbian. Like, what's your problem? And I was like, it's weird. It's because I didn't want anyone to think that I was gay, Right? But all the way my friends would talk about their boyfriend friends, I didn't feel that at all. But then when I got to college and started dating women, I was like, oh, now I get like. I remember.
- [41:37]
A
Did you ever apologize to Margot?
- [41:39]
B
I did.
- [41:40]
A
Really?
- [41:41]
B
I did. And you know what it was? She brought it up. But I. What I apologize. The top line apology was is I made my close group of girlfriends in high school. I said, guys, we gotta wait till we're married to have sex. We gotta wait. And I was like, it's. It's wrong. You know, it was like I made this whole thing about it. And then I said, okay, we gotta at least wait till we're 18. And they would be like, I really want to have sex with my boyfriend. And I'd be like, no, no, we gotta wait.
- [42:03]
A
We gotta wait.
- [42:03]
B
So I went back and apologized for that because if I had been, like, able to date women, I wouldn't have wanted to necessarily wait either.
- [42:10]
A
Right?
- [42:10]
B
So I did a little apology, too. I. When I came out, I told. I said, hey, I'm so sorry I put all that pressure on you guys to wait to have sex. And they were like, thanks, because it was a little weird.
- [42:20]
A
They were like, don't worry. We were fucking behind your back 100%.
- [42:22]
B
All of them ended up doing it. But I was like, oh, my God. Like, this could mess up your future. Like, like plus it's disgusting. Like it was like.
- [42:29]
A
It's so interesting cuz like, you know, you, we see these tropes because that's like, you know, the someone closeted being totally against see it. You go and you go, oh, that We've come a long way. It's like, no, we're all human. Like that's what, you know, that's what you do. That's like a defense mechanism.
- [42:46]
B
You get scared. So you over, you overdo it the other way.
- [42:50]
A
So he, so he. Now let's get to he. Rivalry. I, I and I didn't mean to
- [42:54]
B
put you on the spot.
- [42:55]
A
No, no, no. Yeah, I, I think it's, I'm enjoying the show. It is, you know, there is a
- [42:59]
B
moment and it's okay if you didn't. I don't usually like romance stuff. Well, I love this.
- [43:03]
A
The feedback I've gotten is that lesbians love gay sex.
- [43:08]
B
Oh yeah.
- [43:09]
A
This is something that like we're getting like a version like what lesbians are into.
- [43:14]
B
Right.
- [43:14]
A
I just didn't know that.
- [43:16]
B
Yeah. Isn't that crazy?
- [43:17]
A
It is crazy. What, what is, is the attraction. What's the attraction?
- [43:20]
B
I can only speak for myself. So in this one, I loved it from like, that wasn't what did it for me in this movie. Like this movie didn't turn me on at all. But like I was like amazed by like the cinnamon. The acting like blew my, the, the
- [43:33]
A
Russian guy Connor story is very good.
- [43:36]
B
So good. It's so good that it made me like look at almost every other actor and be like, ah, this is what it is like, right? So good. But I think like, if I ever watch like gay porn, there's something about like the raw, like the, it's like the not. What's that word? Where it's like a real novelty, the novelty of it. And it's like the extreme like, desire. And it's like usually in gay porn it's like very clear. Like there's one and there's a top and a bottom and bam, bam, bam. So all like that. But in this one, I gotta say full honesty and maybe it's safe for me to say it as like a queer person. When they first started the sex scenes, I was like, whoa, whoa. I don't know about this. I don't know about this.
- [44:10]
A
There's a lot. Well, I think that's more, I don't think that has to do with. I think that has to do with like you're seeing something on tv.
- [44:16]
B
Maybe that's.
- [44:17]
A
Maybe you're not used to. Because I was like, wow, There is, like, way more, like, the noises. I was like, there's dick gulping. Gulping. Yeah. And I'm like, I can't believe. This is like, you can just turn on. I've watched that, and it's on a million times.
- [44:30]
B
But for. So maybe that's what it was in tv. Like, I was like, whoa, we're out in the. You know. Even though I was watching it alone in my apartment. But it's a. It's so. And when my girlfriend brought it up to me, I was like, I'm not watching it. I don't like romance stuff. And I don't like. We don't like the same type of shows. Every time she recommends a show show, It's. It's like this, like, heartbreaking, like, rendition of emotion. I end up crying. I hate it. I just want to watch. I want to watch Taken. I want to watch the Born Identity. I want to check out.
- [44:55]
A
Right?
- [44:55]
B
So I said, I'm not watching it.
- [44:56]
A
Good guy gets bad guy.
- [44:58]
B
Revenge, revenge, revenge. That's what I like to watch.
- [45:01]
A
Yeah.
- [45:01]
B
And then I started running into people. They're like, have you watched it? And I was like, no, I haven't watched it. And then it was Lisa Trager, who's a comic.
- [45:08]
A
Lisa's like. Lisa's basically being. Has to be being paid by the.
- [45:12]
B
She's got to be.
- [45:13]
A
She is. It's all she talks about. She's not on the trailer. Cheek, please go Follow.
- [45:18]
B
Yeah. Super funny. And. But she was like, why are you being so weird? And I was like, I'm not. I'm not being weird about it. She's like, you're being, like, a little weird. Like, why are you so against watching? And I was like, it's not like. It's just.
- [45:28]
A
I don't want. Emma's back.
- [45:29]
B
I'm back because it's gay and weird. But I was like, I don't like love. I don't like romance stuff. She's like, it's so much more than that. So then I watched it in episode three. You kind of look like Kip, actually.
- [45:39]
A
Who's Kip?
- [45:40]
B
Kip is. He works at the smoothie shop. Shop. Of course.
- [45:43]
A
I look like the smoothie.
- [45:45]
B
No, no, he's like a total.
- [45:46]
A
Not the guy.
- [45:46]
B
No, no, no. He's all over the place. But, I mean, he's really hot.
- [45:50]
A
Okay, I'll take it. I'll take.
- [45:51]
B
But that episode three, the acting in it, it was so good.
- [45:55]
A
So I, I, I think the show.
- [45:56]
B
I laughed, I cried.
- [45:57]
A
I'll take Kip.
- [45:58]
B
Yeah, he's, he's great.
- [46:00]
A
I mean that. I, I, Kip's got, like, a Jewish star.
- [46:04]
B
And he's got nice hair, too.
- [46:05]
A
Yeah, he's got good hair. Okay, I'll take it. No, a lot of the noise around it is like, wow, you know, this is the type of porn lesbians watch do. Have you gotten that a lot like,
- [46:13]
B
or like, I know a lot of lesbians do, like gay guy porn, and I think that's so interesting. I just know. And I like it too, so I can't, I don't know why I like it. And then I know a lot of straight women like lesbian porn, but I never watch lesbian porn. I always watch straight porn or gay guy porn, but I haven't been watching porn as much as I've gotten older and I, or maybe it's because of my anti depressants. It's messes with my sex drive. I don't know. Watch porn like I used to.
- [46:35]
A
No, I haven't watched porn like I used to. You know why? A lot of the reason. You know how they have, like, the state to state.
- [46:41]
B
Oh, my God.
- [46:41]
A
So when you go to watch porn now, it'll be like, you got to check in, like, depending on what state you're in.
- [46:47]
B
Yep.
- [46:47]
A
They'll make you, like, fill out this thing. I'm like, I'm not filling this out. This, I'm not. What do you mean?
- [46:53]
B
Couldn't agree more.
- [46:54]
A
They go, connect my Google to it. No.
- [46:56]
B
Why? They make you want to upload a picture of your license? I said, no, no, no trace.
- [47:01]
A
It depends on what state. New York. No, not at all. Because we're on the road. You see these different states, and it's always surprising which state makes you do it. And Florida is like a big. Oh, like. And I'm like, I don't. Listen, I don't need, I need a vpn. I need something. I, I, if you scroll down, I'm like, at that point, I'm like, I'm doing too much to get poor. I don't need it. I'm okay.
- [47:23]
B
All of a sudden, you go, give
- [47:24]
A
me back Victoria's Secret. Like, we can, we'll go backwards. And I'm like, it's actually been good for my health, you know, Great. I think there's like a version of that where I'm like, yeah, I could be doing, doing this less.
- [47:34]
B
It's totally, it is a compulsion. So that little, like, do you want to really? Do you want to watch like, whatever it is, like naughty nanny or whatever it is, whatever the search history is. Then you go. Then you're like, not enough to enter in my email or upload a picture of my license. That's for sure.
- [47:50]
A
Yeah.
- [47:50]
B
So it's a little buffer.
- [47:51]
A
I'm not putting my license on, you know, you porn.
- [47:55]
B
Totally.
- [47:56]
A
So that I can type in, you know, big titty Latina. That tells me that I'm funny.
- [48:01]
B
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
- [48:02]
A
You know, I'm not doing that.
- [48:04]
B
So there is. I know that there are so many lesbians that search gay guy porn. And then I bet. I think there's an equal amount of women that watch lesbian porn. And I wonder if part of it is, like, the novelty of it. So it's like. But also then. Yeah, so it be the novelty. And then also like you. What I'm always looking for important is like raw sexual desire. So I know a lot of. But I like.
- [48:24]
A
Seems like you want the caveman of
- [48:25]
B
it all or like there's one that I like this gay guy porn where I. So if we could figure out the psychology of why I like this one.
- [48:31]
A
Let's see if there's someone listening. Listening or watching.
- [48:33]
B
I love watching the glory hole ones. So it'll be like a little. Well, it could be any size. The guy doesn't matter. But like bottom energy. And then there's a bunch of guys and I like verbal. So they're like talking about him while they're just plowing them out.
- [48:46]
A
And the whole. They can't see him.
- [48:48]
B
You can't see him. But I can see him because there's a camera in there.
- [48:52]
A
Well, Emma Wellman, thank you for coming on the show. Absolutely. We actually did this whole episode just to find out what porn.
- [48:58]
B
Yeah. There you go.
- [48:59]
A
And so it is great to have you. We want everyone to go follow Emma Willman at I am Emma Wilman on all social platforms. I am emma willman.com for show tickets go to an Emma Wilman show. I love watching Emma on stage.
- [49:14]
B
Appreciate that.
- [49:15]
A
It is so fantastic. I'm Jared Freed. We're here every Wednesday and Friday. Get subscribed comment, let us know what you liked, what you didn't like, what you found funny where you laughed. And sign up for our better benefits. Twice a month we do an extra show where we're now checking in with Jordana Abraham on her maternity leave. So you'll get to hear about Jordana and what's going on in her life. She will be back. We're doing special guest hosts for her maternity leave. But if you want to sign up for that, you get episodes a day early without ads. And there's always more on YouTube for you to watch. We do you up for more with so much great fun content. I'm Jared Fu. Back next week. Boom.
- [49:58]
B
Batches.