Should I Break Up Before or After the Holidays?

Summary

U Up? Podcast Summary

Episode: Should I Break Up Before or After the Holidays?
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: November 28, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this Friday Feels edition, Jordana and Jared dive deep into the perennial question: Should you break up before or after the holidays? They address listener dilemmas about sentimental partners, navigating family expectations, and the pros and cons of holiday breakups, all while weaving in their signature mix of humor, personal anecdotes, and relatable dating advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up: Post-Thanksgiving & Black Friday Chatter

Timestamps: 02:28 – 13:00

• Thanksgiving Reflections:

  • Jared and Jordana discuss the aftermath of Thanksgiving and the shift into holiday shopping.
  • Black Friday habits: Jordana is a fan of online Black Friday deals (“Who is going to stores still?"), while Jared admits to impulse buys through Instagram ads—highlighting millennial shopping tendencies.

• Gift-Giving and Watch Talk:

  • Jared shares how watches are "male jewelry," a marker of personal style and sometimes status. Jordana relates this to women’s attachment to engagement rings.
  • On luxury shopping culture: “Can I just give you the money… and you just give me a watch?” – Jordana (06:20)

• Favorite Things Gift Exchange:

  • Jordana explains her “favorite thing” white elephant style party, where guests gift an under-$100 personal favorite item.
  • Skincare is a recurring theme: “I do start to understand the idea of like someone liking their face routine.” – Jared (13:57)

2. Listener Game: "Icky or Picky?"

Timestamps: 20:36 – 29:28

• Listener Dilemma: Sentimental Decor

  • A listener is “icked” by a boyfriend who displays his childhood macaroni art and glitter drawings in his living room after a Thanksgiving visit home.
  • Both hosts empathize with parents offloading childhood memorabilia (“There is an age where your parents think you’re just a storage closet.” – Jared, 21:52).
  • The key issue: Sentimentality vs. Taste. Jordana says displaying a couple of meaningful childhood items is fine, but “framed macaroni art in the living room? That’s weird.” – Jordana (25:20)
  • Jared references a Full House episode as a metaphor for meaningful keepsakes and discusses the line between cute nostalgia and emotional immaturity.

• Consensus:

  • They agree it’s a little picky to break up over this, but playful teasing is fair game:
    “I wouldn’t stop seeing someone because of it, but I would, like, be making fun of it.” – Jordana (28:52)

3. Main Topic: Breaking Up Before or After the Holidays

Timestamps: 30:42 – 36:51

• Listener Email: Six-Year Relationship Ordeal

  • A listener asks if she should break up with her boyfriend of six years before or after the holidays, given their relationship has “no sex” and they’re like “roommates”.

• Hosts’ Advice:

  • Act Quickly, Not Kindly:

    • “The kindest thing you can do for someone in that situation is to break up as soon as you know.” – Jordana (33:15)
    • Delaying a breakup for the holidays may seem polite, but it’s actually less humane. The partner deserves clarity and the ability to spend the holidays with support, rather than facing “the desert of loneliness” in January.
    • Jared’s memorable analogy:
      “Ending it on January 2nd is shoving them out to this cold nothing… Think of Siberia… just swirling wind and snowy ground and nothing.” (34:16)
    • The email itself shows the writer is already emotionally done—they encourage her to treat her happiness as a priority.

  • On Holiday Family Dynamics:

    • It’s preferable to break up before major gatherings than fake it through tense events.
      “There's nothing worse than spending a weekend with a couple that's about to break up.” – Jordana (36:02)

  • Healing Over the Holidays:

    • The holidays offer comfort and a support system, while January is statistically lonely.
      “They can go home, lick their wounds, and come back for the New Year, ready to use the dating apps.” – Jordana (36:48)

4. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On status symbols:

  • “It is male jewelry… [a watch] is my class, my success.” – Jared (07:04)

• On post-breakup timing:

  • “If you break up with someone January 2nd, that is just looking at the desert of loneliness.” – Jared (34:03)

• On post-breakup family support:

  • “They can go home to their family and be nestled in the bosom of love… food, love, blankets, old sweatpants.” – Jared (33:39)

• On relationship transitions:

  • “To go into a relationship, it has to go from me to we. To get out of a relationship, it has to go from we to me.” – Jared (32:04)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |-------------------------------------------------------|------------| | Black Friday habits and gift traditions | 02:28–13:00| | “Icky or Picky” on sentimental childhood decor | 20:36–29:28| | Main topic: Break up before or after the holidays? | 30:42–36:51| | Notable quotes and reflections on family/holidays | Scattered; see above|

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Conversational, self-deprecating humor: Both hosts balance personal vulnerability with relatable wit.
• Empathy and tough love: Sidestepping sugarcoating, they urge listeners to prioritize their happiness while respecting their partner’s dignity.
• Relatable modern dating insights: From male watches to “favorite things” parties, the episode seamlessly weaves cultural nuance into advice.

Bottom line:
If you’re questioning your relationship, especially leading into the holidays, don’t delay the inevitable. “The kindest thing you can do for someone is to set them free as soon as you know it’s over—no matter what the calendar says.”

Transcript

[A]

Everyone knows that the holidays can become overwhelming quickly, so the sooner that you get things done, the better. Whether you're an established business or someone who is going to experience their first Black Friday and Cyber Monday this year, you need to make sure that your tools and platform are ready for anything that comes your way. And that's why you need Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names to entrepreneurs who will be participating in their first Black Friday and Cyber Monday this year. Don't. You don't have time to spend hours poring over every little detail. Shopify has thousands of templates and tools to help streamline website creation, making sure that your site isn't just aesthetically pleasing, but functional at the same time. You can also stress less knowing that Shopify's award winning customer support team is on standby 247 to help with any issues that arise, allowing you to get back to business as fast as possible. Draw customers in with the ease of a convenient checkout with Shop Pay. Shopify's expedited checkout that saves customers information and reduces hassle. If you want to give customers the best experience possible this holiday season, you need Shopify this Black Friday. Join the thousands of new entrepreneurs hearing for the first time with Shopify. Sign up for your free trial [e-mail] betches that's shopify.com betches. Go to shopify.com betches and make this Black Friday one to remember. So you answer every person that dms you.

[B]

Not every person, but I.

[A]

What makes you, what makes you answer someone?

[B]

That's a good, that's a good, good opening.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was given advice early on that like if anyone responds to you on social media, heart respond. Do something.

[A]

Everyone.

[B]

This was early on. This was like 2011 that someone told me to do this. And then it became like, like it gets to be like a weird addiction.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like I'm like, I'm so used to like getting back to everything. There's a point where I probably right a little bit.

[A]

So you answer everyone who damns you.

[B]

Not everyone. I'll delete for the most part if, if someone's like, you delete if you don't answer. Yeah, okay. I delete if I don't answer. And if someone writes to me like a nice message, I do think it's nice to say like thank you so much.

[A]

Yeah, a nice message. Yeah.

[B]

If someone does message me and doesn't follow me, delete. Block Gone. I think it's like a what if.

[A]

It'S a nice message. You still don't care?

[B]

I'll heart.

[A]

Hello and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the U UP podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[B]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on?

[A]

I am good. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Sitting here. We're post Thanksgiving.

[A]

How does that feel? Friday after Thanksgiving.

[B]

The Friday after Thanksgiving.

[A]

Do you shot. Do you do any Black Friday stuff? I don't see you as no big shopper.

[B]

Not a big shopper as much as I'm a big impulse Instagram ads buyer.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I've bought way more stuff than I ever thought I would have.

[A]

Anything you really liked?

[B]

I'm like this watch.

[A]

Great watch. Nice.

[B]

From Instagram with your outfit. Thank you. And a good deal. And I get comments on this watch all the time and it's not like a. You know, I'm not walking around with like a Rolex, you know that's a big dude thing. My age now you hearing about the watch game from Mike. Mike kind of like clued you into the watch thing.

[A]

Mike's not like a big. I mean here I got him a nice watch like as a wedding gift and he. He likes it but I think he kind of prefers his apple watch. Okay.

[B]

He's a.

[A]

He's a low key guy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So watches is a lot of my friends like husbands and boyfriend, whatever. Like they're. They're definitely in the watch is like a socially acceptable like straight man thing to be like a collector of.

[B]

Totally. No. And especially one of the few. One of the few after a certain age. It is male jewelry.

[A]

It is.

[B]

You start to hear about it. TikTok. There's a whole watchtock thing going on. I And it might be that I'm just seeing it or feeling it a lot. Cuz my algorithm is millennial coded and my age associated so I'm seeing all the golf and watch content. I was buying swatches just cuz they were 100 bucks and you could get a bunch of different ones and they were kind of cool looking.

[A]

Is that being in the game is.

[B]

It's a. Well, there was an article written about like cheap watches in the New York Times or something about how that was like the move now and I was like well I guess I'm ahead of the game. You know.

[A]

Do you have any expensive watches?

[B]

Like this one looks expensive. It is not. Or it's less expensive than maybe one would think it's less than 500 bucks.

[A]

Do you have, like, a watch?

[B]

I have a nice watch that was my grandfather's, so it was given to me from him.

[A]

Oh, that's nice.

[B]

Which is nice. And it makes me feel good to wear that. But, like, it's still work. I have to get a fix all the time.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's. Yeah. It's a pain.

[A]

Well, I mean, it's more aesthetic probably than anything. Right.

[B]

I'll wear a watch. This is, like, not even the right time or date.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, rarely.

[A]

It's more of just.

[B]

But it is a male jewelry thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like. Like you're saying.

[A]

Yeah. I hate anything that's like. Personally. What. The. Only annoyed me about the. Why. When I was buying this watch, it was the first time I'd ever bought.

[B]

A watch for Mike.

[A]

I bought this watch for Mike. It took me, like, three years after our wedding to buy it because it was just like. It's, like, hard to get a. It's hard, right? You have to have, like, a watch guy. I don't. And here's the thing. If you're. Especially if you're, like, new to the watch thing. I don't have a watch guy. I'm not, like, in the watch game.

[B]

It is.

[A]

And so no one cares about you because they're not gonna. They're. You're not like, a customer who buys a million watches for them.

[B]

So you have to find a guy who knows a guy. Yeah.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Is very much. Because they're trying to keep the supplies scarce.

[A]

Yeah. And to me, if I'm paying, like, thousands of dollars for something, I don't want to have to jump through, like, hoops for it. I just, like. I don't understand, like, the mentality of it, to me, and I think that's the mental. That's why I'm not that into, like, luxury stuff. Or, like, there's, like, the Hermes. Like the Birkin thing or, like, the hard to find. I'm like, I'm not, like, playing that game. I don't like that game.

[B]

Right. Well, would you think Because. Well, a lot there is the. The wait list for a Rolex. Like, there's weightless and things like that. But then they tell you that the weightless doesn't even exist if you know the right person. I know exactly what you're talking about.

[A]

And I'm like, I just. Can I just, like, give you the money, which is, like, a lot of money, and you just give me a watch? Like, I don't want to.

[B]

I don't want to.

[A]

I don't want to do this. I don't care. Like, I'm not, like, I'm not going to be, like, excited that it's so that I. I got the thing. Just like, give it to me.

[B]

Right. And you're also not, like, deal hunting. You're not going to go to them. Like, you're not going to be going around being like, well, it costs this much, but I got it for this much. Like, you're just looking to buy a watch.

[A]

Yes. And I have, like, no sense of how much anything. Like, what is a good deal and what's not a good deal. So I'm like a great person to just rip off and give me the. Like, give me the. Will pay you more. You can rip me off. If I can stop talking about finding this watch. If I can stop texting various people to find the watch. Like, I just want to buy it and it's beautiful gift, be done with it. It is.

[B]

You're right. Do you think differently of a guy with a nicer watch? Because I do think a lot of men, when they put on a watch, they feel or there's like a I am look. I am put together. I am judged by this. This is my class. This is my success. There's a lot of that.

[A]

A lot of women feel that way about their engagement rings. Right. I think there's like, that sort of.

[B]

The level I'm at.

[A]

Right. It's like a posturing thing. I mean, here's the thing. Do I think about. I don't. I'm not. I'm again, I have a horrible eye for, like, luxury stuff, so I probably wouldn't even notice. I mean, I might, like, you could tell me that watch costs like $40,000. I believe. I believe you. I believe you. Or you could tell. You know what I mean, you could tell me it costs like $100. I'd also believe you. Like, I just have no idea. Other people, I think other people who were like, in the game know it.

[B]

I think if you know, you know.

[A]

Right. And I don't know.

[B]

I mean, I get comments on this all the time. And I'm like, I'm always like. I'm like, It's. It's called Mr. Eat well, if anyone wants to go look it up, this guy's great. He makes them himself. But it's like, very small company. But I don't know how the algorithm found me, but looks great.

[A]

Did.

[B]

And I'm like, I'm happy that it's, you know, pretty cost Effective. But also like I do when I put on like a, like I do like the look of a nice watch or a nice looking watch with a T shirt and jeans.

[A]

Yeah. And here's I kind. I respect a nice, put, well put together outfit. I don't necessarily think it has to be that expensive, but it's probably easier to do if it is.

[B]

I'm more, Yeah, I, I think from my standpoint, I'm more into the cleanness of the look. Like I like a black T shirt, black jeans, colorful shoe, colorful watch. Like that doesn't have to be expensive.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But it's got to fit.

[A]

Right. I do love Black Friday though.

[B]

So you go to the stores, you're like at the mall?

[A]

No, I'm buying it on online.

[B]

So you go online and you're getting those deals.

[A]

Who is going to stores still?

[B]

Some people like the rush.

[A]

When I was a kid, we used to go to the stores.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. That's what it's like when you don't grow up with rich parents.

[B]

Oh my God. You got to go and do your own thing. You got to wait.

[A]

Crack of dawn, you're like waiting at the line.

[B]

Butler didn't bring in all your gifts.

[A]

No, I was. That's a free thing.

[B]

Yeah, we'd have the butler, the maid.

[A]

No, I love a good sale. I start like a list of free.

[B]

And a big silver.

[A]

As you know, now that I'm celebrating Christmas, I'm in the gift game and like there's so many gifts to get. So you.

[B]

This does seem to be your complaint with the holiday. You can't believe the amount.

[A]

Yes. The sheer volume. Right. Of, of gifts is.

[B]

I wouldn't even know what to ask for on Christmas. Like that, That's a type of qu. I. I'm with you. Where I'm like, listen, I'm, I, I don't go without, you know, I'm not sitting here being like, woe is me. I'm just saying I don't even know what I would ask.

[A]

I. There's nothing. There's so. There's nothing I want that, that I couldn't buy myself that I want someone else to get for me.

[B]

Let's ask production.

[A]

What do you want for Christmas?

[B]

Are you guys right? If I want something, I get it.

[A]

Do you get Christmas gifts?

[B]

Kinda. My sister tells me what she's buying and then I send her money. Tells me what she's buying and you send her money.

[A]

Oh, so you get Christmas gifts.

[B]

So your sister's in charge and then she tells me what she got and then I send her the money for it. Veer, do you have a gift in mind that you're waiting on this Christmas season?

[A]

No, but we do Secret Santa. My family. So it's easier for everybody. Secret San. That's an easy one because.

[B]

So you only get one person.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, it's too complicated.

[A]

We're all over the place. Oh, then we write a list of like, we've done that for like Hanukkah with my siblings. Because there's so many of us. We're not.

[B]

That makes sense for you and your siblings, right? There's so many.

[A]

You get one and then. But I'm doing. I'm actually doing a dinner, like a little like holiday dinner with my friends.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

Mostly my female friends.

[B]

But you can.

[A]

You can attend. You're more than welcome to attend.

[B]

Still haven't been in the house, people.

[A]

You're more than. You have been to the house?

[B]

I've been in the house.

[A]

In a finished house.

[B]

Chateau des.

[A]

Yes. You'll be there. You'll be there quite soon.

[B]

I will be there.

[A]

So I'm organizing a dinner, but instead of a secret sand. This is fun. This is a fun. My friend. My friend who lives in Austin told me about this and I've now stolen it and implementing it into my other. Into the my friend group in New York. So basically, it's like a white elephant.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But Caucasian elephant.

[B]

I want to be politically correct.

[A]

Okay, sure. It's a white elephant from the man who got me the Bogo baby thing.

[B]

So that's me, Mr. PC.

[A]

So it's a white elephant, but instead of just getting a gift you get, you bring your favorite thing.

[B]

Your favorite thing?

[A]

Yes. Okay, so like let's say our budget is like a hundred dollars. So like you the thing you like your favorite thing that's under a dollars. Like the favorite.

[B]

You use everything.

[A]

You use all the time. You love it. It's your favorite thing. You wrap that and then bring it and it's still like a white elephant. But like when someone opens yours, you explain why it's your favorite thing.

[B]

Oh, I like that.

[A]

It's fun, right?

[B]

So what's your favorite thing?

[A]

I'm thinking about it. I did it when I did it the last time I used this under eye like brightener that I used all the time and someone took it. It was nice.

[B]

And do they enjoy it as much as you enjoy it? Do you have they said to you like that. Is there a little bit of like, they better like, is it insulting if they Were like not saying to you, I love it. It's really added to my life.

[A]

No, I mean it's my favorite thing they've chose. They've. I mean they've ch. I guess someone could have. Could have tried to swap it. It's. It's a little awkward when someone tries to swap your.

[B]

Your favorite thing.

[A]

Right. But that's on them because you. You have to strongly believe in it. That's why I like it more than a gift. Cuz whenever someone's like bring a gift, I'm like. I just revert to like a can. Like a nice candle.

[B]

I'm trying to think of what my.

[A]

Favorite thing would be under $100. What's your favorite under.

[B]

Under 100 bucks?

[A]

Your watch. Excuse me. Just kidding.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm sure it's more. More expensive than that. Shoes.

[B]

Shoes.

[A]

Hat. You want to many, many, many of your hat collections?

[B]

I got. Yeah, that would be under 100. What do I use every day? What's promise? A lot. I do a restaurant.

[A]

You could do like 3 bar classes.

[B]

That's my favorite thing. I like the way I feel afterwards. I don't know how to say. It's like a. I was thinking I've been using. You know, I've been into lately.

[A]

What?

[B]

Skin care.

[A]

Me too.

[B]

I've been.

[A]

That's very. That's a popular gift. In the favorite things.

[B]

I've been using face cream and this oil and under eye stuff. Thank you for noticing. Nobody.

[A]

You look great.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You could. You could wrap in. In this hypothetical game or you can attend. You're. You're welcome to.

[B]

I do a regimen though.

[A]

You. You could wrap that up and then have to explain.

[B]

Yeah, it does make me feel. I do start to understand the idea of like someone liking their face routine.

[A]

Yes. I love. I'm skin care. I'm very into. Yeah, I think it's like soothing. It's. It's kind of like a nice ritual.

[B]

Maybe that should be our UOP holiday party. That's what we go for. Facials.

[A]

I would love that. Yeah, I love a facial. Love a massage.

[B]

Go to Glow Bar.

[A]

I'm a big spa person.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Ask this esthetician to make out with.

[B]

You just before you go. Can you just give me a slight.

[A]

You get. Get bands on the cheek.

[B]

Let's do. What are we talking about today?

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

I'm on the road, people, if you're listening. Today Fort Lauderdale tonight and Miami tomorrow. I got shows. I got shows. I got shows in different area codes. Area codes. Shoes.

[A]

What song is this?

[B]

Shows I got hoes in different area codes.

[A]

I don't think that's the tune though, of it.

[B]

That's not the tune. Well, it's a pretty good tune that I did off the top.

[A]

What is the song where it says I've got hoes in different.

[B]

I've got hoes. I've got hoes.

[A]

Who sings that?

[B]

Oh, who sings that? Luda. The only reason I know it is shows. It rhymes with shows. So I've used that to sing about.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

Well, Miami for Lauderdale are this weekend. Great way to get away from the family. Do something different. It's called the Table for One tour. It is all about being 40 and going alone to Europe. That is the premise. I think it's a pretty good show. V. You saw it a couple times.

[C]

Love it.

[B]

Love it. She's. She's paid to say that, but she.

[A]

Told me it was fine. No, I'm just kidding. She's.

[B]

So listen, there are no Bogo tickets. You got to buy full price. Okay?

[A]

No Bogo.

[B]

No Bogo. Get your tickets, assemble the group chat, and then I'm going to be in Royal Oak, Michigan and Columbus, Ohio, San Diego for New Year's. Orlando. Would love to see a new year.

[A]

Orlando. Wow.

[B]

New Year's in San Diego.

[A]

In San Diego. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't. Thank God I'm not in Orlando.

[A]

You're going to Disney. I'm sure Disney's got a fun new New Year's situation. People in the world, you anywhere near there.

[B]

But me alone on New Year's Eve in Disney. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my entire life.

[A]

You don't have to dress head to toe Disney.

[B]

Just look like a Disney adult alone.

[A]

Yeah, I can't think of it. Is there anything weirder than a 40 singer, single 40 year old man in the Disney park alone on New Year's?

[B]

Just arrest that guy. If he exists alone at Disney.

[A]

Yeah. I would keep my children away from the foam finger.

[B]

Number one finger.

[A]

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[B]

It because of you. It is honestly so easy, so wonderful. And it's like when you start using it, you think of all the days.

[A]

That you didn't use it right and.

[B]

You get mad at yourself.

[A]

Yeah, there's no reason not to use it.

[B]

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[A]

And that is how you live a fiscally responsible life.

[B]

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[A]

Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. That's R A K U t e n rakuten.com Join today for a new member. Welcome Bonus after minimum qualifying purchases, terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Abercrombie. It's officially Black Friday at Abercrombie, and we're partnering with them to give you an exclusive Black Friday treatment. Get 25 to 50 off everything at Abercrombie, even their newest arrivals. And as our holiday gift to you, our listeners, get an extra 15 off with code batches AF whatever's on your list this season. Gifts for your friends, your family, or, let's be honest, a few for yourself. Abercrombie's Black Friday deals make it easy to save big for the holidays and still look good doing it. I love Abercrombie. They have the best finds. I have the coziest and cutest sweatset from them. I wear it pretty much every day all around my house. But I also have like, really nice stuff that I would wear to an event from them. Like, don't sleep on Abercrombie. They have some amazing pieces. Whether you're getting festive or just trying to survive the season, Abercrombie has you covered. Literally. But the sale only lasts from November 24th to December 1st, so don't miss it. And again, use code BETCHES AF to get an additional 15 off everything in stores and online at checkout. Check it out and thank me later. Abercrombie drops new arrivals every week. Shop in the app online or in stores. Offer valid in the US And Canada. Excludes clearance and gift cards. Online price reflects discount. See details online. This episode is sponsored by bilt. It's almost 2026 and you're still paying rent without Bilt, we can't have that. BILT is the loyalty program for renters that rewards you for your biggest monthly expense. Rent. With Built, every rent payment earns you points that can be used towards flights, hotels, Lyft rides, Amazon.com purchases, and so much more. And when you pay rent through Built, you unlock access to exclusive benefits from a network of more than 45,000 merchants. Just link your credit cards, spend at your favorite local spots, earn Build points on top of your regular card rewards and get one step closer to that trip you wanted to take. Personally, I'd redeem my points for some Amazon purchases because literally I cannot stop buying stuff there and this would really help me out. Build Points have been ranked the most valuable point currency by the points guy and they just announced Built Cash, a way to unlock even more value from builds partners. It's simple. Paying rent is better with Built Earn rewards and finally get something back for being a renter. Join the loyalty program for [e-mail] UUP that's J O I N B I L T.com/UUP. Make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. Okay?

[B]

All right, what are we talking about doing?

[A]

Icky or picky? I will read it. The game is icky or picky. We're going to read you're dating someone. They do this. Is it icky and like you have a right to say no? Or are you being picky and it's not that big of a deal?

[B]

Is your ick justified?

[A]

Yes. J and J. Big fan of the POD and my go to source for all my dating questions. I recently went on a date with a guy who might be a little too attached to his childhood. We've gone on four fun dates and I like him a lot. He went home for Thanksgiving and came back with a suitcase full of his childhood stuff. Books, toys, school projects and framed artwork from second grade which he proudly displayed in his living room. I get being sentimental, but framed macaroni art and glitter drawings in the living room? Honestly, I got the icky. I can't stop thinking about it. Icky or picky? He frames his second grade artwork in his living room, icked and concerned.

[B]

How do you feel about this one?

[A]

I understand Coming back from Thanksgiving with a box of your. Because every time I go home, my mom is like, here, take these. Like, take this random that I found that's yours from 30 years ago that I don't want in my house anymore.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I'll either throw it out or you can take it. And I've been like, all right, I guess I'll take it. Like, I don't want you. Right. It's either gone forever or I have to bring it with me. So I understand bringing it back to my apartment.

[B]

There is an age for everyone where their parents somehow think that they are just a storage closet.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Like, and it is your stuff, but.

[A]

Like, it's not your stuff, but it's not really yours.

[B]

It's not. Right There's. It's annoying. The whole thing's annoying. My parents right now, moving into the new place.

[A]

They're trying to give you stuff.

[B]

I wish I tried to tape my parents yelling at me about taking the alcohol from the garage because it was so crazy. Like, they were so. They were screaming, old ass alcohol from the garage.

[A]

So much of that from Mike's parents.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It's. He would never drink.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's like Shivas. Like, it's like. It's like old, like tequila that you wouldn't even get anymore.

[A]

Amoretto.

[B]

It's all stuff that, like, you'd be like, you drank that, you know, like.

[A]

No, that's why it's here. Right.

[B]

So. And my parents. I literally screen record, but it doesn't pick up the voice when you screen record. I had it on speaker, and I was like, this is gonna be the most viral video of all time. Because they're going, my dad goes, don't you want the vodka that's in the garage? And my mom's going, he doesn't need the vodka. The dusty vodka. And he goes, you don't think. You don't think he needs the vodka? He can go buy stuff at the store. He's going to go buy stuff. And I'm like, I go. And I literally go to them, I go, do you hear yourselves?

[A]

What's the brand? Vodka.

[B]

I'm sure it's Smirnoff. I'm sure it's.

[A]

It's always Smirnoff.

[B]

Well, my dad used to sell Smirnoff. So, like, it's all stuff he used to sell. It's always literally 50 years old.

[A]

What's the other one?

[B]

Bacardi.

[A]

What's the other vodka brand? Like, the cheaper one? What?

[B]

Yeah, Stoli.

[A]

That's expensive.

[B]

Is it?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I wouldn't even know. I haven't bought a bottle of booze in a long time.

[A]

What was the one you had in college? Spedka?

[B]

Oh yes. A big cheap one. Yeah, yeah, it's so yeah. This whole thing, right.

[A]

They feel bad about throwing it out, so they're trying to foist it onto you.

[B]

This is why, I mean, not to go to Plug City. But Summer Rose, what she does for people and like hiring an organ, hiring an organizer generally, let me just like speak for the organizer community is worth every dollar they, they charge you, in my opinion, because you walk away. The, the judgment you have on yourself for throwing things away is so bad. But I know Summer Rose. And what is the name of Star Organizers? That's the name of her company. She has places where they'll take like a half used candle like as a donation.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So the half use candle. So you don't like, that's the best example. Like because you go half use candy like h, I should keep it. Why would I, I bought this. Why would I throw it away? I'm a waste, I'm a loser.

[A]

At some point, right.

[B]

And she'll take it to somewhere that's actually going to use it. So you feel. And if they don't, it's off my hands. And that's kind of what the parents.

[A]

You'll never know.

[B]

Right. The parents are doing that to us. They're making us the donation place.

[A]

You're taking the half drink bottle of sped up.

[B]

Right. And Jared will use it in my mind. And if he doesn't, that's not my problem anymore.

[A]

Right.

[B]

They're transferring the guilt.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

So for this guy. Yeah, I get it.

[A]

I get why he brought the stuff back.

[B]

Right. I'm with you. I get why he has this stuff.

[A]

But yes. Where it's. Where it becomes weird is that he's displaying it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's weird.

[B]

How many things from childhood can you display before it gets a little out of hand? Because I do think if he in a artsy way was like, what was the show where they took. There was a sitcom or a child show that I used to watch where they did. They changed the wallpaper in the bedroom. And as a keepsake, they. In one of the episodes where they were upset that they were getting this new bedroom, they kept a framed version of the old. Do they do that in an extreme? I'm saying this was a sick.

[A]

That sounds, that sounds familiar.

[B]

There was a sitcom where they took a frame. It was a bunny I think I can't believe it might have been Full House. Am I remembering more of Full House than I do my own life?

[A]

Perhaps.

[B]

Look up Full House. Wallpaper Bunny.

[A]

It's like an ode to the original.

[B]

Yeah. The Full House episode. It was like a reminder of that to me. Like, I would think highly of someone who is like, this is something I keep because it reminds me of my childhood bedroom and these memories. That's more thoughtful than I am with things.

[A]

Things.

[B]

Okay, but what's the line is really the question.

[A]

Like one or two things.

[B]

The Pink Bunnies. Michelle was moving into a big girl room and she was upset because she's growing up. So they put the bunnies in a frame to remind her from where she had come.

[A]

Where she's come from. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Wow.

[A]

I'm okay with a couple items like that.

[B]

Loser. I'm 40 years old remembering a Full House storyline.

[A]

Listen, it was meant.

[B]

Never gonna find a woman.

[A]

It meant something to you.

[B]

I'm never gonna go.

[A]

I actually think that if as a On a date. I would love to hear that story. It sounds so sentimental.

[B]

Did I remember the Full House?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Thing? All right.

[A]

I think that's a great. I think that's a great story. It's better than wanting the facialistic make out with you.

[B]

I didn't say make out. I want her to gently kiss me on the cheek and hug me a little bit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And then rub my head and face.

[A]

Okay. Yes. That's almost weirder than the makeup.

[B]

Yeah. It's a little weird because I do have a. It just hit me, so. But it made me think of this email.

[A]

Yeah. How did she see all this? I guess.

[B]

Is it all too much?

[A]

Is it? All the books, toys, and school projects are all displayed. I would keep most of that in a box.

[B]

Macaroni art and glitter drawings in the living room. That's the other thing. Would you rather a guy have bare walls in his apartment or macaroni art from when he was in second grade framed on the bear walls?

[A]

I'd rather no taste than bad taste.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is my.

[B]

Well, I, I, I.

[A]

There's no taste. I can come in and it's your taste. It's mine.

[B]

Yes, I guess. Is there a thought that like. Like if you walked into a guy's apartment and it was just all jokes, like everything on the wall.

[A]

I mean, like a picture signed, a picture of Tom Brady and a picture of a charcuterie board.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I haven't hung up my stuff in my new play. I don't know what I'm gonna do with all these.

[A]

You're gonna have to, with all my heart, hang them up.

[B]

Well, the office, my office will be where all the fun stuff goes. Yeah, but that's an office. Like, if he had an office, you.

[A]

Go, okay, yeah, there's, oh, there's a room where you can do that, right? Like, that's the.

[B]

But if the bedroom has his macaroni art above the bed and, like, do you think he's serious? Would you be like, maybe he's not serious enough for a relationship, or would you not take it that far?

[A]

I don't think I would take it that far. I think I'd make fun of it and then hope he got rid of it. Right. I don't think it'd be a deal breaker. It might be red flag.

[B]

So you think with this, you think she's being a little bit picky?

[A]

A little bit, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I wouldn't stop seeing someone because of it, but I might. But I would, like, be, like, making fun of it, right?

[B]

He needs you. I, I, yeah, it's pretty. I think it's picky of her. I would look at it and go, what is this? Like, I'd have questions. And if they were like, oh, my parents gave me all this, like, old stuff, and I just figured I'd hang it up because I didn't want to throw it away.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I. If they were like, that's the most important drawing I made in second grade. I'd be like, respect it. Oh, yeah. Okay, cool.

[A]

Yeah. How they respond to that is kind of how important.

[B]

But we think she's being picky for sure.

[C]

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[D]

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[C]

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[B]

Let's do an email you J&J love the pod. Love you too. Let me get into it because I need an unbiased opinion. I've been with my boyfriend for six years. We love each other, but honestly, we don't really have a relationship anymore. It's like we're ghosts to each other. No sex. And we mostly act like roommates who only hang out when there's a mutual friend or family event. We've talked about maybe taking a break, but he always realizes he can't imagine life without me. My gut though is telling me we should break up. With Thanksgiving coming up and Christmas and New Year's right behind it. I'm not sure what to do. Should I wait until after New Year's to break up or just go through the holidays together and then end it? I'm expected to spend Thanksgiving at his family's house and he's coming for Christmas to my parents. I don't want to ruin these family and friend gatherings, but I also don't want to keep pretending everything is fine. Ghosting in love what do you think?

[A]

I think she's gotta end it.

[B]

This email was the first step.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think this email is a great email that she emailed herself. Right. I'm proud of her for writing it.

[A]

Yes, it's very. I mean it's hard to end a six year relationship that where you don't really like hate the person, but you just don't really.

[B]

You don't see a future.

[A]

Yeah, this is hard.

[B]

It's hard. And if sometimes the answers are in the emails, I. I've said this maybe once or twice before. I like that we get an email that's written honestly because why would she lie to us? You know, we're just two people that don't even know who she is.

[A]

We don't know her.

[B]

She wrote something very specific and I think it's the key to all relationship stuff. To go into a relationship, it has to go from me to we. To get out of a relationship, it has to go from we to me. Okay, so that means she writes we've talked about and maybe breaking up, but he always realizes that my Gut is, though, we should take a break. We should. My gut, though, is telling me we should break up. No, I need to break up with this person who isn't for me.

[A]

Right.

[B]

She's still stuck in we land. Like, we have these holidays. We don't want to ruin the friends and family's time.

[A]

Right. She's been a wee for. So I could see why you're. She's in that. It's so hard to go from. From I to we.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Me to we. We, we to me. It's all difficult, but I'm just noticing in the way she's writing it, she's forgetting the number one thing, which is her own happiness. She's so caught up on. Well, we have to break up. No, no, I have to end it with this person I care very much about but don't see a future with.

[A]

Yes. And to me, the kindest thing you can do to someone or for someone in that situation is to break up with someone as soon as you know that that is the case.

[B]

Right.

[A]

As soon as you know that that is something you are going to do to do it as soon as you can.

[B]

Also, it's pretty kind to do it before the holidays. I know that. I think it's way kinder to break up with someone before the holidays than it is after the holidays.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because when you break up with someone before the holidays, they can go home to their family and friends and be nestled in the bosom of love that is awaiting them. Food, love, blankets, old sweatpants, all their high school trophies and adornments. All the reminders of how good they have it. If you break up with someone. June 2.

[A]

January 2.

[B]

Or if you break up with someone, January. If you break up A zone, January 2nd. That is just looking at the desert of loneliness, brother. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Think of like the coldest, loneliest month.

[A]

Month.

[B]

Just the. The saddest. Like, think of Siberia. You know when they show Siberia in the movie and it's just this like, swirling wind and just white, you know, snowy ground and nothing. Think of Fargo. Like Fargo, North Dakota. Like the saddest looking place ever.

[A]

Sounds pretty. That is January 2nd.

[B]

That's you ending it on January 2nd is shoving them out to this cold nothing.

[A]

I agree. Give them the holidays, they're off work. They can, like, they can process. They can get it all out. They can, like, you know, grieve the relationship. And then January, get back on the apps.

[B]

Right. They can do a little refresh. I've had. I've gotten my hugs. I've gotten my, my, my shit talking. I got all my family together for them to look at me and go, jared was a piece of. You don't want to be with him. He's ugly. He's a loser. He couldn't even make you happy.

[A]

You never liked him anyway.

[B]

Yeah, you never liked him anyways. And then you can all high five and say, wow, Jared's a big fat loser with no future in comedy. You didn't need him. He couldn't make you come. And then you go, thanks, grandma. Thanks for reminding me that he couldn't make me come.

[A]

And then I think you have to put yours. If you need more of a reassurance for that. I would put yourself in this person's position. Like, if someone's asking me, would I want someone to fake it through the holidays and that we're probably not going to have that great of a time any. It's only like, it's going to be the most amazing Thanksgiving and Christmas. Like, no, it's gonna suck. Because there's nothing worse than spending a weekend with a couple that's about to break up. Up.

[B]

I totally agree. It would be the worst. So awkward. I don't want to be around that. Awkward, Uncomfortable.

[A]

I'd rather be around someone who has just broken up with than a couple that is weeks away from a breakup.

[B]

You are so right. Just. And then. Because when the couple's a weeks away from a breakup, there's always like the pull aside, Trina, I just can't do this anymore. Right.

[A]

And then they're there and they're there.

[B]

And you're like, well, he's so nice. You don't.

[A]

Or they're fighting or there's like a.

[B]

Tension or like no one wants to be around your.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. No, let them go home, lick their wounds.

[B]

Yeah. Come back. They get to go right to their stretchy pants and big tittied aunt who's gonna hug them.

[A]

Yeah. And the both of you can get on the apps on the most popular dating app download day of the year, which I believe is January 1st. Right.

[B]

So we solve dating again. Listen, people, if you like this show, subscribe. Wherever you watch or listen. Comment. Wherever you watch or listen, it always helps to have a comment or two.

[A]

And share with a friend.

[B]

Share with a friend. Tell a friend. Tell a friend. Tell friend. Friend, friend. Tell a friend. Tell a friend. Tell a friend. Friend, friend. Tell a friend. Tell a friend. Tell a friend. Friend, friend.

[A]

Share.

[B]

Subscribe and tell a friend. Thank you.

[A]

Happy holidays.

[B]

We'll be back next week.

[C]

Experience the sequel everyone's been waiting for with Sideline 2 intercepted. Join Drayton and Dallas as they navigate the challenges of college life while trying to stay true to themselves and each other. Catch all the drama and watch Sideline 2 Intercepted, starring Noah Beck and Sienna Agudong for free on Tubi this Thanksgiving.

[A]

Betch.