Transcript

Jordana Abraham (0:01)

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Jared Freid (0:19)

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Jordana Abraham (0:22)

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Jared Freid (0:27)

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Jordana Abraham (0:33)

Welcome back to the UL podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

Jared Freid (0:36)

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on?

Jordana Abraham (0:43)

I am good. I was very confused this morning because I took the Long island railroad and there were like, this is like the peak, like, commute time. And there were like, a ton of kids on the train.

Jared Freid (0:54)

Okay.

Jordana Abraham (0:55)

And, and Mike was like, why are all these kids here? I don't really understand. And then I Google. And then we Googled it.

Jared Freid (1:01)

Why are children on the train?

Jordana Abraham (1:03)

Like, what is, Is today something? Or like, whatever? I don't know what. He googled it and he was like, it's. Apparently it's take your kid to work day.

Jared Freid (1:10)

Oh, my God.

Jordana Abraham (1:11)

Right? Which used to be take your daughter to work day, but I think now they changed it to take your child to work day.

Jared Freid (1:17)

So all these little kids, what, like, have their, like, suits on and glasses and like, basically briefcases.

Jordana Abraham (1:24)

Yeah. They're like, they're on the train with their parents.

Jared Freid (1:26)

It seems like that's like the worst version of a day off from work.

Summary

U Up? – "The 'Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About' Problem"

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: May 6, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode zeroes in on a core modern dating anxiety: the “girl (or guy) you don’t need to worry about.” Jordana and Jared tackle listener emails about ambiguous friendship boundaries, confusing app dates, "ick or picky" moments, and the minefield of relationship trust. Throughout, with classic J&J flair—honest, funny, and occasionally salty—they dissect what’s really going on beneath surface behaviors, why people say what they say, and how to best protect your peace (and sanity) in the chaotic world of apps and IRL connections.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Funny Little Life Updates and Family Stories

[00:33–08:31]
Jordana and Jared open with relatable banter about Take Your Child to Work Day, family-run offices, and generational quirks.
- Memorable moment: Jordana's grandmother playing Schindler's List in the waiting room at her mom’s gynecological office.
  - "She managed all the finances, and she was, like, obsessed with the Holocaust. So she used to play Schindler's List in the waiting room." – Jordana [03:35]
- They reflect on how modern reviews and influencer culture have overhauled expectations for even basic things like a dentist appointment.

2. Getting Into the Dating Mailbag

[18:39–23:54]
Listener Email: “Why did this guy act like he wanted something serious but just wanted to hook up?”
- A woman matches with a guy who texts daily and says he wants a relationship—but when she says she’s not up for going home after the first date, he unmatches.
- Jared and Jordana break down the deception and mismatched expectations on apps:
  - Texting frequency is meaningless:
    "Texting is easy. I don't think people realize that. It's very easy to text. This is, like, the thing we hear from a lot of people that write in here: 'Why would they spend all day texting me…' They make it seem like these people are doing anything that takes more than a half-second to do." – Jared [21:04]
  - People’s stated intentions on apps are often BS:
    "Why is he writing 'looking for a relationship'? Because it's easier to lie and get more matches to get your fix." – Jared [24:08]
- Advice: Judge intentions by actions, not profile jargon.

3. The “Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About” Situation

[44:51–58:09]
A listener recounts a breakup after redflagging her boyfriend’s suspiciously “close” female coworker, Sally.
- Listener details: Sally is flirty, physical, gets frequent rides, and texts with her boyfriend constantly. He insists there’s nothing there, but post-breakup, continues bringing Sally into mutual circles.
- J&J's take:
  - "She was only getting a portion of a boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship, that person takes over maybe the role of seven people you used to text with." – Jared [49:45]
  - Jordana highlights the discomfort of intense opposite-sex friendships when boundaries get blurry, especially if the partner seems oblivious.
- Advice:
  - You’re not crazy for being uncomfortable when someone repeatedly dismisses your concerns.
  - After a breakup, cut off access rather than watch them parade the "non-threat" around—it won't bring closure.
  - "Either get back with him and accept that this is who he is or don’t see him." – Jordana [56:11]
- Memorable quote:
  "The whole point of a relationship is that this person is your responsibility. Other people aren’t your responsibility as much." – Jared [54:09]

4. Ick or Picky? – The Recycled Story

[38:33–43:44]
A woman realizes her charming date has a repertoire—she hears the same stories, verbatim, to different audiences.
- Jordana says it’s picky, not icky: everyone has "bits" they polish for maximum impact—storytelling is performative and often rehearsed.
  - “Everyone wants to kill.” – Jordana [38:57]
- Jared: It’s only an issue if you feel disconnected. Good storytellers read their audience.

5. Red Flag or Deal Breaker Lightning Round

[59:23–77:44]
-J&J tackle several classic red flag/deal breaker scenarios, including:
- Partner says "I’m bored" in the middle of a date ([59:39])
  - Jordana: If truly apologetic, it’s a red flag, not a deal breaker. (If it’s a first date, bigger deal.)
  - Jared: The comment might mean “I’m bored” with the dynamic, not the person. Worth a deeper conversation rather than immediate dumping.
- Date tells you they're attracted to your neighbor/friend ([66:02])
  - Both: Huge deal breaker. There’s expressing sexual attraction, and there’s tact and respect.
    - "To be honest…there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to another woman. You just don’t need to tell someone." – Jordana [73:36]
- Guy insists on a phone/video screen and brags about having his schedule booked out for a month ([81:05])
  - Jordana: It’s not the screening that’s the problem—it’s the HR-style language (“Currently scheduling coffee dates for late May after a phone call screen”).
  - Jared: Both sides came off “company policy” and transactional—neither brought any playfulness or sense of romance.
    - "Both of your dicks seem small based on this interaction." – Jared [86:15]

Notable Quotes & Moments

On why men lie about their intentions on dating apps:
"It’s easier to lie and get more matches…he might want a relationship and also want a lot of attention and something to do while he's taking a dump." – Jared [24:08]
On friend boundaries:
"If your relationship is great, you’re not going to question the rides to the airport... But the nature of it being over and over again—it’s like you’ve made them a priority equal to the relationship." – Jared [54:01]
On why people rehearse stories:
"We all have a bit for a story. You probably more than most people, but I think we all have a way we tell something for reaction." – Jordana [38:48]

Useful Timestamps

Opening banter/family-run office stories: [00:33–08:31]
Jared's stand-up and book tour chat: [08:31–11:49]
The “Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About” mail: [44:51–58:09]
Red flag/deal breaker: "I’m bored": [59:23–65:39]
Red flag/deal breaker: "Your friend is hot": [66:02–77:44]
“Ick or Picky”: Repeated date stories: [38:33–43:44]
Phone screening/HR-dating app rant: [81:05–86:34]

Overall Tone

Classic U Up?: warm, brutally honest, and hilarious. The hosts keep it real—calling out manipulative behaviors, encouraging listeners to respect their boundaries, and balancing empathy with necessary tough love.

For Listeners Who Haven’t Heard the Episode

You’ll walk away with a sharper bullshit detector for the apps and some hard-won wisdom on boundaries. Ignore what people type about intentions and focus on action. And trust your gut if “the girl/guy you don’t need to worry about” seems a little too present. Most importantly: you’re not alone for being confused. Everyone’s just trying to find their footing, (and maybe avoid getting a sticker slapped on their back at a party).

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The “Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About” Problem