The “Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About” Problem

Summary

U Up? – "The 'Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About' Problem"

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: May 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode zeroes in on a core modern dating anxiety: the “girl (or guy) you don’t need to worry about.” Jordana and Jared tackle listener emails about ambiguous friendship boundaries, confusing app dates, "ick or picky" moments, and the minefield of relationship trust. Throughout, with classic J&J flair—honest, funny, and occasionally salty—they dissect what’s really going on beneath surface behaviors, why people say what they say, and how to best protect your peace (and sanity) in the chaotic world of apps and IRL connections.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Funny Little Life Updates and Family Stories

• [00:33–08:31]
  Jordana and Jared open with relatable banter about Take Your Child to Work Day, family-run offices, and generational quirks.
  • Memorable moment: Jordana's grandmother playing Schindler's List in the waiting room at her mom’s gynecological office.
    • "She managed all the finances, and she was, like, obsessed with the Holocaust. So she used to play Schindler's List in the waiting room." – Jordana [03:35]
  • They reflect on how modern reviews and influencer culture have overhauled expectations for even basic things like a dentist appointment.

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2. Getting Into the Dating Mailbag

• [18:39–23:54]
  Listener Email: “Why did this guy act like he wanted something serious but just wanted to hook up?”
  • A woman matches with a guy who texts daily and says he wants a relationship—but when she says she’s not up for going home after the first date, he unmatches.
  • Jared and Jordana break down the deception and mismatched expectations on apps:
    • Texting frequency is meaningless:
      "Texting is easy. I don't think people realize that. It's very easy to text. This is, like, the thing we hear from a lot of people that write in here: 'Why would they spend all day texting me…' They make it seem like these people are doing anything that takes more than a half-second to do." – Jared [21:04]
    • People’s stated intentions on apps are often BS:
      "Why is he writing 'looking for a relationship'? Because it's easier to lie and get more matches to get your fix." – Jared [24:08]
  • Advice: Judge intentions by actions, not profile jargon.

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3. The “Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About” Situation

• [44:51–58:09]
  A listener recounts a breakup after redflagging her boyfriend’s suspiciously “close” female coworker, Sally.
  • Listener details: Sally is flirty, physical, gets frequent rides, and texts with her boyfriend constantly. He insists there’s nothing there, but post-breakup, continues bringing Sally into mutual circles.
  • J&J's take:
    • "She was only getting a portion of a boyfriend. When you’re in a relationship, that person takes over maybe the role of seven people you used to text with." – Jared [49:45]
    • Jordana highlights the discomfort of intense opposite-sex friendships when boundaries get blurry, especially if the partner seems oblivious.
  • Advice:
    • You’re not crazy for being uncomfortable when someone repeatedly dismisses your concerns.
    • After a breakup, cut off access rather than watch them parade the "non-threat" around—it won't bring closure.
    • "Either get back with him and accept that this is who he is or don’t see him." – Jordana [56:11]
  • Memorable quote:
    "The whole point of a relationship is that this person is your responsibility. Other people aren’t your responsibility as much." – Jared [54:09]

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4. Ick or Picky? – The Recycled Story

• [38:33–43:44]
  A woman realizes her charming date has a repertoire—she hears the same stories, verbatim, to different audiences.
  • Jordana says it’s picky, not icky: everyone has "bits" they polish for maximum impact—storytelling is performative and often rehearsed.
    • “Everyone wants to kill.” – Jordana [38:57]
  • Jared: It’s only an issue if you feel disconnected. Good storytellers read their audience.

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5. Red Flag or Deal Breaker Lightning Round

• [59:23–77:44]
  -J&J tackle several classic red flag/deal breaker scenarios, including:
  • Partner says "I’m bored" in the middle of a date ([59:39])
    • Jordana: If truly apologetic, it’s a red flag, not a deal breaker. (If it’s a first date, bigger deal.)
    • Jared: The comment might mean “I’m bored” with the dynamic, not the person. Worth a deeper conversation rather than immediate dumping.
  • Date tells you they're attracted to your neighbor/friend ([66:02])
    • Both: Huge deal breaker. There’s expressing sexual attraction, and there’s tact and respect.
      • "To be honest…there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to another woman. You just don’t need to tell someone." – Jordana [73:36]
  • Guy insists on a phone/video screen and brags about having his schedule booked out for a month ([81:05])
    • Jordana: It’s not the screening that’s the problem—it’s the HR-style language (“Currently scheduling coffee dates for late May after a phone call screen”).
    • Jared: Both sides came off “company policy” and transactional—neither brought any playfulness or sense of romance.
      • "Both of your dicks seem small based on this interaction." – Jared [86:15]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On why men lie about their intentions on dating apps:
  "It’s easier to lie and get more matches…he might want a relationship and also want a lot of attention and something to do while he's taking a dump." – Jared [24:08]

• On friend boundaries:
  "If your relationship is great, you’re not going to question the rides to the airport... But the nature of it being over and over again—it’s like you’ve made them a priority equal to the relationship." – Jared [54:01]

• On why people rehearse stories:
  "We all have a bit for a story. You probably more than most people, but I think we all have a way we tell something for reaction." – Jordana [38:48]

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Useful Timestamps

• Opening banter/family-run office stories: [00:33–08:31]
• Jared's stand-up and book tour chat: [08:31–11:49]
• The “Girl You Don’t Need to Worry About” mail: [44:51–58:09]
• Red flag/deal breaker: "I’m bored": [59:23–65:39]
• Red flag/deal breaker: "Your friend is hot": [66:02–77:44]
• “Ick or Picky”: Repeated date stories: [38:33–43:44]
• Phone screening/HR-dating app rant: [81:05–86:34]

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Overall Tone

Classic U Up?: warm, brutally honest, and hilarious. The hosts keep it real—calling out manipulative behaviors, encouraging listeners to respect their boundaries, and balancing empathy with necessary tough love.

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For Listeners Who Haven’t Heard the Episode

You’ll walk away with a sharper bullshit detector for the apps and some hard-won wisdom on boundaries. Ignore what people type about intentions and focus on action. And trust your gut if “the girl/guy you don’t need to worry about” seems a little too present. Most importantly: you’re not alone for being confused. Everyone’s just trying to find their footing, (and maybe avoid getting a sticker slapped on their back at a party).

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If you enjoyed the episode, follow @u.up.podcast for more memes, polls, and dating hot takes!

Transcript

[Jordana Abraham]

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[Jared Freid]

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[Jordana Abraham]

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[Jared Freid]

Watch only on Prime Foreign.

[Jordana Abraham]

Welcome back to the UL podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[Jared Freid]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on?

[Jordana Abraham]

I am good. I was very confused this morning because I took the Long island railroad and there were like, this is like the peak, like, commute time. And there were like, a ton of kids on the train.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

And, and Mike was like, why are all these kids here? I don't really understand. And then I Google. And then we Googled it.

[Jared Freid]

Why are children on the train?

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, what is, Is today something? Or like, whatever? I don't know what. He googled it and he was like, it's. Apparently it's take your kid to work day.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, my God.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? Which used to be take your daughter to work day, but I think now they changed it to take your child to work day.

[Jared Freid]

So all these little kids, what, like, have their, like, suits on and glasses and like, basically briefcases.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. They're like, they're on the train with their parents.

[Jared Freid]

It seems like that's like the worst version of a day off from work.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, yeah, you still have to go.

[Jared Freid]

You have child care.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You can't really work, but you also

[Jordana Abraham]

can't really say no, right?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I would say no.

[Jordana Abraham]

You would say no.

[Jared Freid]

You wouldn't. This is, to me, this is one of those things. I got bad feedback from my take on parental leave, paternity leave. But, like, this is another thing that I'm like, a little bit old. Manish on, like, did you ever go with your dad, I gotta go to work.

[Jordana Abraham]

Your dad ever take you to work? I mean, it was when we were kids, it was take your daughter to work day to get, like, women in the workforce. Now we're like, here enough. Yeah, we did it.

[Jared Freid]

We're good.

[Jordana Abraham]

We don't need to do that.

[Jared Freid]

But the whole issue is solved.

[Jordana Abraham]

You never went.

[Jared Freid]

I'm sure I did. I just don't remember, like, it being take your kid to work day reasoning.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, it was more just like,

[Jordana Abraham]

I need to stop by somewhere to go. Right.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I, I, I've been to, I went to my dad's Work. Did you go to your dad's work? Did you go to your.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I did. I went to his, like, office. I mean, I used to, like, work in my mom's office. So it was. Take your.

[Jared Freid]

You'd be like, what, like the secretary?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, that was my. My grandma was actually the secretary in my mom's office. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That must have been quite a gynological experience to walk in.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And have your mom be the doctor and the grandma who's like, a family.

[Jordana Abraham]

Family business.

[Jared Freid]

And they're talking to each other like, they're like, having grandma mom fights.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, my. My grandma would be, like, yelling at my mom. She'd be like, patience. You've got patience in the room. Stop being on your phone. Actually, my grandma.

[Jared Freid]

The most stressful. Like, you're in there. Like, I got to get a pap smear. Oh, my God, this is going to be a horrible day. And then, like, you got patience.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Get over here. You're always late.

[Jordana Abraham]

Look, Lisa, today. Lisa, people in the room. Let's keep going.

[Jared Freid]

I love how much I knew exactly how horrific this would be for the patient. Like, well, this is pre help reviews. Pre.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, thank God, because, like, I don't think they would have been great. My grandma is, like, was, like, one of the scariest women, like, ever lived. Like, I loved her. She's like. She's like, no, but she's very funny. No, right, but she was, like, a little. She was very, like, cutthroat in a way. And she managed the office. She managed all the finances, and she was, like, obsessed with the Holocaust. So she used to play Schindler's List in the waiting room.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, my God.

[Jordana Abraham]

And my mom. This is crazy. And my mom would be like, mom, I think, you know, like, maybe we could, you know, make something a little bit more, like, neutral, pleasant. She'd be like, they need to know.

[Jared Freid]

How about Friday the 13th? Let's put on, like, a horror movie that made a little bit better. Yeah. She was crazy.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what I'm saying. She did not. There was no.

[Jared Freid]

Well, it's funny on the. On the subject of, like, kind of over corrections, like, like, take your daughter to work day. Then we're like, we're done. We got to do take your kid to work day. It's similar to this where, like, someone's like, I hated going to the doctor. Like, like, growing up, it was, like, the most horrific experience of my life. And yeah, of course it was. It was some mom and daughter duo screaming at each other. The magazines are Old, like, and then they're like, well, now you can just do it from home. And like, you know, these web therapy sessions, you're like, well, I still kind of want to leave the house. How about we just not have an 80 year old woman yelling at her adult child?

[Jordana Abraham]

Who's your doctor?

[Jared Freid]

Right. How about no Schindler's List in the way in the waiting room? Yeah, that is it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, we do have these. You're like, man, maybe it wasn't as bad, but it was just like no one took any care for the experience of the customer.

[Jordana Abraham]

Here's the thing. I think, yeah, I think you could do that. Before, there was like a million reviews everywhere, basically. It was like, if you wanted to, you had to look at like the usa, say today, Best doctor magazine, right. To get like the list. But there wasn't like, reviews that were rampant.

[Jared Freid]

Well, and. And you just go, based. A friend goes to them and they trust them. They go, you know, doc, you know, Dr. Abraham, you know Abraham, Dr. You. They go, Dr. Rosenberg is great. And I know her. My daughter went. My.

[Jordana Abraham]

My mom went to her secretary. A little intense, right?

[Jared Freid]

You're gonna have to deal with. Yeah, the secretary is going to ask how horrible your day was, not whether it was a good day. How you doing? I'm doing awful. Well, I'm here to check in for my appointment. My stomach is really not doing well. Okay. Can I give you my name? Like, it must have been a horrific experience for any patient.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm sure.

[Jared Freid]

But I'm. I'm sure your mom did a great job. It's just so funny.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm saying. You could make a. You could make a sitcom just off of this office.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, absolutely. They made. There was a sitcom called Wings and it was just a small airport. I think this has a more common.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, totally. And then my. My grandfather was like the billing department, but he was. It was really just like him napping in the back room. And then they'd call. Someone would call back and they call and they'd be like, I got a notice from the billing department. And my grandma would be like, go wake up your grandfather. There's someone on the phone.

[Jared Freid]

Ow. Al, pick up the phone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Seymour. It's even better.

[Jared Freid]

Seymour, Seymour, Seymour. Someone wants to talk about their bill.

[Jordana Abraham]

And then he'd wake up. You got to pay your bill.

[Jared Freid]

That is fantastic family business. I mean, that is a sitcom. If there's a writer out there, you've Just been given a world.

[Jordana Abraham]

There you go.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Don't steal it.

[Jared Freid]

That's the office. That's.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's a certain kind of office.

[Jared Freid]

It's also just so funny. Like the no reviews. The. Yeah, there's WebMD now. Like, there's like actual doctor review. And I always like Yelp.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's. There's a million places to review and talk about your doctor.

[Jared Freid]

Right, Absolutely. Like I go to. But I do think it is a difficult thing, especially when you move to a new town. Like, I gotta find a doctor. I need to find like a. A village, you know, you move to New York City, like, I, I have.

[Jordana Abraham]

You have to find your whole team.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And your gym. Jim, Mina, Dentist. Yeah, I go to a dentist here still. Dr. Lauren Becker, who's fantastic. And her office looks like baches office.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, nice.

[Jared Freid]

And her whole business, like, plan was like, invite influencers so that they can show people my office and make people feel comfortable. And I think it's like she was like ahead of it, like, inviting. I was like, I'll take a cleaning.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And I would go in and I was like, wow, this is a comfortable place. This is a place that doesn't remind me of the horrific dentist office that I used to go to. Like, not to give her a huge

[Jordana Abraham]

plug, but does her mom work the desk?

[Jared Freid]

Her mom's at the desk. They have, you know, Schindler's List on and the works. Yeah, they play Saving Private Ryan is playing. The death scene. The, you know, the Normandy scene is playing as you walk in. No, it's just like this. And I, I always say it when I like, plug her because I do mean it like, hey, you move to New York City, who do you go to? You know, like, you don't have your mom being like, I got dentist for you. I still go when I come.

[Jordana Abraham]

You hear a lot.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I'm here a lot. But I'm. But I'm a little bit like in Delray. I'm kind of look like I don't want to come to New York to go to the dentist. Like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I'm kind of like a little bit lost in Delray as, like, where do I go to the. Like, I don't want to go online and go.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, you'd have to. Well, where. Ask your parents where they go.

[Jared Freid]

I. I'm. This is a whole story. Like we go to the same doctor,

[Jordana Abraham]

you and your parents.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's been like general doctor.

[Jared Freid]

It's crazy.

[Jordana Abraham]

What do they call the internist? Like the regular doctor? PCP yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Primary care provider. Yeah. Pcp. Yeah, Yeah. I go to this. We go to the same doctor. I talk about it on my standup. Cuz it's like so weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

And I'm so excited to hear your.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, the new. So, yeah, if you're out there, I'm on the road. I would love for you to come to a show. I think I'm in Vegas this weekend. No, no, no. I was just in Vegas. I'm in la. Oh, we need the LA people. We have LA people. I should be able to fill this theater. It's the Netflix is a joke festival. I have a special that's coming out on Netflix in the fall. I'm very excited about it. You've seen that show.

[Jordana Abraham]

That show is amazing.

[Jared Freid]

Maybe my best work. I. I would give it my best work status.

[Jordana Abraham]

And now it is a great show.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you. And now this show that I'm doing, I have. I'm like, you know, I have this high watermark that I want to hit. Like I know what it feels like to have a great show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, that's the best way to be. To compete against yourself.

[Jared Freid]

That's what I, I truly am. And get a little depressed by it because stand up is just hard, you know, like. And. And so this new show was two. I have. I had an hour and a half of. Of. Of a show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And they were two different subjects. So I took the hour and a half and I split it in half and I said I'll get to that end half at another time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

So now I have that to do later. Now I've doing the front half, which is all about my dad offering me his Ozempic. Okay. And this was at dinner. We were at dinner. My. And it's just talking about calling the tour. I'm calling a table for one because it was about going to Europe alone.

[Jordana Abraham]

And you should call a table for GLP1.

[Jared Freid]

That's a great idea first. There it is. I couldn't write that better myself. That's a lot of ideas. Bringing all.

[Jordana Abraham]

I had a lot of caffeine this morning.

[Jared Freid]

Ready to go. I'm really lacking here. Yeah. So this is all. So I've taken that one thing and I've extended. This is, you know, it's. This is what they call brave as an artist to take something that works and then rework it. So that's what I'm doing. But la, you'll see. That said, I'm also going to be in Jacksonville, Austin, Cleveland, West Hampton Beach, Miami, Foxwoods, Portland, Maine, and also I'm doing a book tour.

[Jordana Abraham]

Ooh.

[Jared Freid]

The book tour slow to plan, but we're trying to make it happen.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are you doing in bookstores?

[Jared Freid]

I'm doing bookstores and six and I in D.C. okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Been there. We did.

[Jared Freid]

We did six and I. And then I'm doing 92nd Street Y in New York.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, nice.

[Jared Freid]

So I'm going to do like a book moderated thing there. And then we're doing Boston, Miami. There's going to be at a, I think the seller bookstore in Chicago. So these are all going to be. You just go to my socials. You get a book. You buy a book with your ticket and they bundle it in and the book is walking Red flag. You can pre order, you know, Kindle. You can pre order audiobook, which I did. I got a lot of things going on. You do? I'm a busy guy and. But this shows working in America. Yeah. I try my best. So what's going on with you?

[Jordana Abraham]

Don't ask me things like that. Yeah. There. It's a lot of the. A lot babies. A lot of baby stuff is just like the same every day.

[Jared Freid]

It's so funny. Someone commented, I guess on a past episode, all I talked about is how tired I am. To a woman with new twin babies,

[Jordana Abraham]

Listen, I don't travel as much as you. That takes a lot traveling. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

How's Mike with the babies?

[Jordana Abraham]

He's good. He's been working a lot, but when he's home, he's very helpful and very involved.

[Jared Freid]

Okay, great.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, it's a lot of. It's interesting the way that, like, the babies have changed. There's very like, efficiency. Very bad. Like, efficiency.

[Jared Freid]

Now give me.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's just like less free time. So it's like you do this while I do that. Like, it's a lot of very, like divide and conquer. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, two on two.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. So there's not really like a. If there's one. If there was one, you got it. And then I'll. Yeah. Now it's kind of like. I mean, you could watch two, but it's easier to watch one.

[Jared Freid]

Every time you post a picture of the babies, I'm like, it is a. It stops you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, really?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. You go. You do like a. It's like a. It's like a mental. It's like a. The calm app coming on for half a second. It's like, like, I think a baby makes you go, what's. None of this stuff is important.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, you go, ah, look at the baby. You know, like it just like stops everything, you know, whatever worries you have. Oh, the. You know, like all the I just talked about was stupid in comparison. No, I'm just saying. Well, it's true. I mean, like, it's like. I mean, it is new life brought into this world. The. The fragility of it all, you know, like the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, it's just exciting to watch them experience everything for the first time.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Cool.

[Jared Freid]

Do you. Have they done food yet? Are they doing.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I don't think you can have food until like six months or something.

[Jared Freid]

Then. I can't really relate to them yet. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you like formula? Do you like breast milk?

[Jared Freid]

I'll try some breath. That'd be the weirdest thing. Do you do the. You do the breast milk?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, here and there. Not like. Not like it's more of a bondage. It's more of a bonding thing. They get like. I don't make enough to make. Give them like full meal. It's like a snack.

[Jared Freid]

Got it?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Has Mike tried it?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, he wouldn't do that.

[Jared Freid]

He wouldn't do that.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't think so.

[Jared Freid]

I would have to.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, why smell?

[Jared Freid]

Because that was my milk.

[Jordana Abraham]

I was using the. I was using the surrogate's breast milk for a while.

[Jared Freid]

Did you try that?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, but I was like. I wanted. I wanted someone to do a taste test. Mine versus hers, see which ones.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. How rude.

[Jordana Abraham]

This. Should we do a blind test?

[Jared Freid]

Bring in some breast milk? I'll tell you, they were selling it. There was like an ice cream store that only did breast milk.

[Jordana Abraham]

Really? That sounds very ice cream.

[Jared Freid]

Look this up. It was like. It sounds very like much what a Republican in the west would say about New Yorkers that. What, like, oh, these liberal elites eating their breast milk ice cream. Like, it's like a.

[Jordana Abraham]

If anything, I would think the trad. The trad wives would. Would do that.

[Jared Freid]

There it is. It's called Frida. A limited edition breast milk ice cream was released in August 2025 with real breast milk by parenting brand Frida. Okay, Go. Goldfellows ice cream. What is it called? Old Fellows. Okay, we almost lost the like Odd Fellows. Odd fell. Is that what it's called? I've heard of Odd Fellows.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is it made with real breast milk? I don't believe it. Really? Oh, it says is not made with human breast milk. Rather mimics its taste.

[Jared Freid]

Nah, not for me. I want the real deal.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, well, do you want to do a taste test?

[Jared Freid]

Yes. Bring it in.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'LL bring them all in. Is this inappropriate? I don't know.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. We're going to find out.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. So comment in the YouTube comments. This is the worst idea anyone has ever had.

[Jared Freid]

Well, we're saying the Pepsi Challenge.

[Jordana Abraham]

The idea, our version of the Pepsi

[Jared Freid]

Challenge, the idea that we are the only people who have ever thought that, oh, it would be fun to try the breast milk is that would be interesting.

[Jordana Abraham]

People try it.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's like I would think this is a conversation that every people have, every, you know, parent has in their own home privately.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

But it's, you know, we're a podcast that stays honest and vulnerable. We're going to be our real true selves. We're not going to hide what we do for a living while we give you dating advice.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's why we're here.

[Jared Freid]

That's why we're here.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

We give you all our awards so you can call us out online.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's this thing that happens when your foundation pieces are actually good. You just move differently. Not adjusting, not uncomfortable, not thinking about it at all. That's how I feel with Skims. The fabric, the fit, all of it. It's the kind of thing you don't fully appreciate until you try it. I love Skims. I've been trying their new underwear collection and it is so, so, so comfortable. And for me having comfortable underwear is like the number one thing cuz you're in it all day and if you're like adjusting at it or if it's kind of like pulling at you, it really just ruins your, your ability to focus on anything else you're doing. So to me, doing well at work, weirdly strangely tied back to how comfortable my underwear is. And skims has the best, softest and most utilitarian underwear. It's like great. They have kinds for every different shape and they're all serving a specific purpose and no matter what they're doing, you're looking good in them, but you're also really, really comfortable, which is a super hard combination. I also have their cotton bras which are so, so, so comfy. And you know, I also love knowing where everything is and their bras are perfect for that. They make me feel like I can go about my day and not have to think about my underwear and bras, which is honestly the whole point. Shop everyday cotton and all my favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and make sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

[Jared Freid]

This episode is sponsored by Instacart. If you actually care about what ends up on your table, grocery shopping can become a whole thing, and finding the time to do it right is its own challenge. With Instacart, you don't have to compromise on quality for convenience, you can be specific about what you want, communicate directly with your shopper, and get groceries selected with the same care you take yourself. I love what Instacart is doing. I love that you can free up your day by taking one of your chores and making it so you have an assistant. You have someone to go to the grocery store for. You find the things you love and I think the most important part Direct communication. Truly, the convenience cannot be beat. With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite stores and have quality groceries and house essentials carefully selected and ready for pickup or delivered to your door in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart helps take care of delivering the things you need with quality you deserve so that you're free to take care of life. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like. What are we doing? What's let's do the first thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, let's do it. Let's get into it. Hi J and J. Longtime listener, first time writing in Feather Feather. I'm 25. I got out of a three year relationship about six months ago. I just downloaded the apps and have been chatting to this guy who is 31 for about a week now. He has been texting me good morning every day, which was a little too much for me since we haven't met up yet. But honestly, getting attention like this again did feel nice. We chatted a little bit every day. He seemed really eager to hang out. He even invited me on a weekend trip out of town to his brother's wedding that is two months away. I said, oh wow. Gonna be honest, that's a bit much right now. Since we don't really know each other yet, we made plans for Saturday night. It seemed good till Saturday afternoon. We were supposed to go to dinner and last minute he changed it to drinks. Here is the screenshot. All right, so you be him, I'll be her.

[Jared Freid]

I'll be the grifter. I've been trying to figure out where to meet up. Can we hang after drinks? If it goes well. What a direct.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm not trying to hook up if that's what you're asking.

[Jared Freid]

I'm not convincing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Convincing.

[Jared Freid]

No punctuation all good.

[Jordana Abraham]

But I'm gonna skip on meeting up. I don't think we're on the same page. Wish you the best though. She goes. Then he unmatched me on hinge burn. I know this guy just wanted to. But why did his profile say he was looking for a long term relationship? And why was he texting me so much throughout the week if that's all he wanted? Now that I wrote this out, I feel like Jared is going to say he was texting so much. So I build trust. And he didn't want to put the effort into getting off the couch unless he knew he was going to get laid. Love you guys. Sincerely, new to dating apps, batch p. S. He just sent me these texts this morning. I'm so confused. Please help.

[Jared Freid]

I don't understand what she's confused about. She answered for me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? That's how good we are. That's how, that's how consistent we are with our advice.

[Jared Freid]

Right? I mean, I can add to the advice that she has said.

[Jordana Abraham]

We'll read the rest.

[Jared Freid]

Let's read that. So here's the grifter. Hey. Sorry, I was just nervous. Can you give me another shot and we go out. I really do want us to go out and talk more. I'm not here for hookups. I'm here for a relationship. Let me take you out and prove you wrong. What do you think? I don't understand what she's confused about.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. What is she confused about?

[Jared Freid]

Listen and let me just say.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, she's confused about why his profile said that he was looking for a long term relationship and why he was texting so much.

[Jared Freid]

Because you ask less questions.

[Jordana Abraham]

Texting is easy. I don't think people realize that. Well, very easy to text.

[Jared Freid]

This is like the thing we hear from a lot of people that write in here. Why would they spend all day texting me? The effort. They make it seem like these people are doing anything that takes more than a half a second to do.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

This guy didn't even hit space bar twice to put a period on the end of his. I'm not, he's not writing.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's not creating like a deck.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's not doing anything. That's like super labor intensive. It's just a tech.

[Jared Freid]

And I know the hard part about this, like this app. And let me just say to her, she's not like stupid. Like, I, I, I just hope she doesn't think we think she's stupid. This happens all the time where you're just left confused. Where you are so on a different page than he is. Like, you're after for him, like on a dating app. First of all, like you said, texting is easy. You know what's even easier? Signing up for a dating app and making a profile. They don't even check your id. It costs no money. You can just sit there and browse from your couch, no money, no time necessary. While you're doing other things, while you're in line for coffee to go on a date with someone else, you could be on Tinder, swiping.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So, like, you need to understand that if you start dating apps with the fact in mind that none of this cost anybody anything, then you should. You need to like that. That kind of informs your opinion on everything.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I mean, I guess what are like, that's why I think the bar is low. Especially until you meet on a date. She said he was texting her every morning, which she didn't like. But, like, that is something you should probably then like not. You don't have to go out with that person.

[Jared Freid]

Don't engage with it. I mean, I am proud of her. Proud, whatever. Who. Who the cares. And I'm proud. Good work. But that she didn't go out with him. She did the right thing. She did what I. If I were her family member, I would go, oh, good, you didn't go out with this joker.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It's crazy. I think she needs.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's growth.

[Jared Freid]

But I. I think the biggest mistake she's making is feeling like everyone is on the app for the same reason she's on the app. She is on the app to find a loving, caring relationship. Seemingly, yes. Or someone she can totally trust and feel safe with while engaging in a romantic thing that has growth potential that is giving her the most benefit of the. Not looking to rush ahead. Doubt. You know, so like, let's say. And I don't think she's wrong for wanting that, but on the other side of that, you could have people that are just happy to get attention at a minimum.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, for him, talking to a woman might be the biggest win in the world. And if he loses it, who cares? I talk to a woman. I got the validation I wanted. Getting a match might be all that someone's on the app for.

[Jordana Abraham]

Then why is he writing, looking for

[Jared Freid]

a relationship because it's easier to lie and get more matches to make to get your fix. But also he gets less messages if he doesn't write anything at all. And also, he might believe that he wants a relationship. He Might be telling himself every day, I want a relationship. But he also, he, he might want a relationship and also want to, also want to get attention. Also want to have something to do while he's taking a dump. Like all of these things are wins for him, for her, the only win from an app, which is a lot of hers out there. Don't you know? Not to, I'm generalizing, but there's a lot of women out there who will say the only win from an app is marriage and a relationship.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And if that's how you feel, you're going to be very disappointed. And if you think that's what other people on the other side want, you're going to be even more disappointed.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, can I ask, when he says that thing and he says, if, if it all goes well, can I come? Can we meet up after? Is he saying that so that he wouldn't go out if she said no? Like, let's say she answered and she said, I don't really, I don't really like to like go back or anything after a first date, but I'm still down to go hang out.

[Jared Freid]

Right? I mean, she kind of did say that. I mean, I, I think he's just

[Jordana Abraham]

like, let's say she still wanted to go out. Would he still be interested in going out?

[Jared Freid]

I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think, because I do think it's deceptive to write looking for a long term relationship if you wouldn't go out with someone who said they weren't gonna go back with you after a date.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I guess it is. But no one's gonna. There's no loss to him to do that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, I, it is deceptive, but that's in the public opinion. I. And again, this is why these apps are, these apps are done in the shadows, alleyway interactions.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

No one sees them. So he doesn't really feel any shame. Like, he only came back to her to like, let me prove you wrong. When it got to the point that he lost the customer.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It wasn't that, like, he was, he never. I don't think he really says, he says, I'm sorry, I just got nervous. Like, nervous about what? Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, you wouldn't have sex with me.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

You might not have sex with me.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And he's playing the part of an idiot while also being able to do everything that an idiot couldn't do.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, that's the insulting part.

[Jared Freid]

Right? It's totally insulting. It's. And it's insulting when people take this person's side. Like, oh, I was just being nervous. I don't give a right? You know, take your nervous ass and go get an interaction in person and stop being such a on these apps. Like, I, I, she should have said that. Yeah, you're a, you don't know how to interact with people. You insulted me. Go learn how to talk to people and then come in the apps. And that's the thing, these apps. Someone could be like, well, they might have this issue. This issue, that issue. I, we always make. The Internet is a very ripe place to make it, so we take care of the least able of people. We are very. I didn't want to like, go down this road, but like, to me, he's playing the victim to the point where it's like, please take care of me. I got nervous.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

And you're like, in this world of the Internet, he might find a group that's like, yeah, we all don't know how to do this. That's why we go on the dating apps, because we don't know how to talk to people in person.

[Jordana Abraham]

And, you know, now we found his algorithm.

[Jared Freid]

What's that?

[Jordana Abraham]

We found his algorithm.

[Jared Freid]

Right. It's the baby mouth loser algorithm that we all have to like, be nice to.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Because yeah, the apps are made for people who have trouble.

[Jordana Abraham]

Exceptions. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

But this person to me is taking advantage of, of that group, the group that uses the app because they're not good in person and using that as a way to be like, well, I just got nervous because, you know, there's people here that, that's not who this is. Go yourself. Like, I, I actually am angered by this guy more because there are people with real issues that need the dating app to like, be able to just talk to a human.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And now he's like playing this part when he knew how to do everything else. Even check in with her to make sure she would suck his dick after they went for drinks. He knew enough how to do that without saying it in the weird way.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

He said it under the COVID of, oh, can, we're going to go out and hang out afterwards. No, we're not.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, we're not.

[Jared Freid]

And then he unmatches goodbye. Okay, that's, I can only assume that's what you wanted, not that you were nervous.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I would say, because we get a lot of these. Anyone who's looking at. He says he wants a long term, you see? He says he wants a long term relationship. He says he wants to be in a relationship on the app. I would take that to mean nothing. The only thing I would take to mean seriously is if someone says they're just looking to hook up on the apps, they're telling the truth. That that is extremely honest. You could take that at face value. But anything else I would just count as a nothing.

[Jared Freid]

The person that writes, I'm here to hook up is probably the most fun date you'll ever go on.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, they're very honest.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And, and you know what? I would go on a day with that if I was.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'd rather go on that. A date with that person.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely.

[Jordana Abraham]

Than the person who writes that they're. That they're looking for a long term relationship.

[Jared Freid]

If I was a woman, I would go out only with guys, only looking to hook up to, like, go on a fun date and then not go home with them.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, and, and just say, I have two policies tonight. Like in your head. You don't even have to say, well,

[Jordana Abraham]

then you're the deceptive one.

[Jared Freid]

You're the one now you're going to get. Because there's a lot of people on these apps that all they want and some people don't have the ability to like, stop themselves from getting ahead emotionally. And I understand that you go on a great date and they say, I'm only here to hook up. You're like, but we had this great date, you know, you would go, oh, my God, it was so much fun. Yeah. Because they're good at having fun. You know, they're. They're letting people know I have fun. This is the fun I want and I'm being honest about it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So you. I. But there's a lot of people who are like, on these apps are like, I just want to go on a date that's like fun night. Right. I just wanted. Drinks are paid for. I want to be with someone I'm attracted to that they know how to make conversation. Not this loser who can't talk to a barista. This guy. Well, I got nervous. What a. I, I like, hate this guy in a way because he sucks because he's ruining everything.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Have you ever thought about writing back when you were like, not really ready for a serious relationship? Have you ever thought about writing, looking for casual or whatever?

[Jared Freid]

I probably never did. I'm trying to think if I did, why I've said that to people after I've gone on dates and been like, hey, this was fun. I'm looking for casual.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And you're.

[Jordana Abraham]

You had nothing in that category. Right? You wouldn't.

[Jared Freid]

You I would never, I would never answer the category. I think it's a fraudulent category.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Would you put that though?

[Jared Freid]

I think it'd be a good way to go.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think lower the. You, like, you're very much a fan of like low expectations and. Or what's it, what was it? Undersell.

[Jared Freid]

Undersell. Over deliver.

[Jordana Abraham]

Undersell.

[Jared Freid]

Well, because from a man's perspective, I could, in my, in my mind, my ego informs me, but also based on experience that the woman who goes out with me because it says I'm only here to like casual.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

At one point she might be convinced to go more serious. I think it's easier to go from casual to more serious than it is to casual. Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, well, yeah, it's definitely. It's harder mentally saying the direction correctly. I agree.

[Jared Freid]

So to this person, they did everything right. As far as like, you know, you didn't go out with someone that is really just a loser.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. But let me ask you, go back, going back to that thing, why wouldn't you put looking for casual if you were at one point, like, what would be the, the reason a man wouldn't do that?

[Jared Freid]

I guess the answer would be that I wouldn't want to miss out on people because that takes you out of

[Jordana Abraham]

like, you know, people who are looking for.

[Jared Freid]

For relationship. The, the more annoying response, which is also true, was like, I did want a relationship.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And I maybe not with them.

[Jared Freid]

Right, Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So there was a, like. Because you were like, there is a chance.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But not answering it was the move, I think, not having in a profile.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And I mean, I think that's why a lot of men wouldn't write looking for casual because they know it would limit their options.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I think no man should answer it at all. I think it's like a stupid.

[Jordana Abraham]

We should all just assume you're animals.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Ready to soundtrack your summer with Red Bull Summer All Day Play. You choose a playlist that fits your summer vibe the best. Are you a festival fanatic, a deep end dj, a road dog, or a trail mixer? Just add a song to your chosen playlist and put your summer on track. Red Bull Summer All Day Play. Red Bull gives you wings. Visit red bull.com brightsummer ahead to learn more. See you this summer

[Jared Freid]

Focus features in Blumhouse present Obsession.

[Jordana Abraham]

When I have a crush on a

[Jared Freid]

guy no one knows. Be careful. I wish Nikki loved me more than anyone in the entire world. Who you wish for obsession is 96% fresh on rotten Tomatoes.

[Jordana Abraham]

I love you so, so, so, so much.

[Jared Freid]

It's blood soaked nightmare fuel, bro. Cockroach bulge you put on her. You have been warned. Obsession. Rated R under 17 on a minute without parent. Only theaters May 15 with special engagements in do icky or picky.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Uuppaches.com hi J&J. Listener and subscriber here. Congrats to both you on your recent life events. I get so many. I added someone in the street last night. I was at the Comedy Cellar and someone goes, congratulations on the girlfriend. Like, it was like on the street.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wow.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, it was very nice.

[Jordana Abraham]

People. How do you. Do you feel? Are you surprised?

[Jared Freid]

I'm surprised.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, you know what? I'm surprised on your behalf because it did feel like you could have had one at any point if you really wanted one.

[Jared Freid]

Well, that's the thing, right? I. I think, I guess the way there's ways to take it, you know, you get to choose how you. How offended you get.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

One is like, I don't think it's offensive. Well, just like, I think they were saying, like, good job getting over an emotional. Emotional. Right. And I think that's it.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like when people say congratulations when you bought a house, in some ways it's like, is that. Is that. I guess that's like a financial feat.

[Jared Freid]

When I say congratulations on a house, I'm like, more like, congrats going through that process and finding you finish the process. I assume it's like, I guess it's

[Jordana Abraham]

the same with the girlfriend.

[Jared Freid]

Right? It's a huge decision.

[Jordana Abraham]

And congrats on finding a person you love.

[Jared Freid]

And let me just also say I was totally right to have every anxiety I ever had about having a girlfriend and doing this podcast. Why you Google my name? Her name comes up right away. Her full fucking name.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, wow. So, like, well, that's more about her anxiety, probably around dating, you know.

[Jared Freid]

Well, my anxiety was always for the other person having to deal with. With like the annoyance of, like, maybe this gets rolled back and having to like, people google your name.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like all those things.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do people. I don't think most women would be, like, upset about that, though.

[Jared Freid]

It's not her being upset, it's. Listen, like you said in past episodes to me when I, you know, had breakups on this show, like, they wouldn't be upset if it was an engagement announcement.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's true. You know, like, you get both sides of the.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So. And. And I was always concerned. Not. I'm not saying I'm a hero. I'm saying it really made me think long and hard about going to the next step because I knew that if I rolled it back, there would be an equally as, you know, woman yelling congratulations on the street. Same woman. Hey, I heard about the breakup.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, you know, I mean, that's something you kind of sign up for when dating you. The good and the bad.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. But that was my insecurities about. I didn't want to just like inch into a relationship. I wanted to like dance through the. I wanted to be able to talk about it in the way I'm talking about it here and talk about benefits. Like, and it's just funny. I want to go back to the comments of people saying that like I was like this up needing therapy guy and to be like, yeah, I did it. Yeah. No, well, I did it and I was right. You're wrong. You don't understand the. And, and I do think people do understand a little bit. Like, you tell your family and friends I have a new boyfriend or girlfriend. There's an element of. I've made an announcement to people that I might have to own.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And I don't think there was a lot of. I think there was a few people. I'm not saying on en masse, but like there was a few people. No empathy for my position whatsoever. And I was exactly right. Like I. I couldn't Right all along.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let me figure out an evil laugh. There you go. That's pretty good.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I'm the joker.

[Jordana Abraham]

Remember that? Casting for animation.

[Jared Freid]

That's right. Even in my happiest moment, I found a way to be angry at people.

[Jordana Abraham]

I love it.

[Jared Freid]

I love it.

[Jordana Abraham]

They wouldn't be you.

[Jared Freid]

Addictive. I am.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. You're still you even after this relationship.

[Jared Freid]

Right? That's right. That's still what I. Is there a song that goes with that?

[Jordana Abraham]

Still the one.

[Jared Freid]

Still the one doesn't. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't know. Well, write it.

[Jared Freid]

Recently remembered something that happened on a date and I would love to know if it was an icky or if I was just being picky. A couple years ago, I, female, 46 at the time, matched with a man, late 40s on Bumble. We chatted on the apps a bit and then met for coffee. Our one hour date extended to two hours. We chatted non stop. We shared stories about our jobs and families and interests. And I thought we really were connecting. We kissed goodbye and he asked me for a second date. I happily said yes. Our second date, we went to dinner at a local restaurant and happened to run into friends of mine. A married couple and joined them at a bar for a drink. We all chatted for a bit and then I stepped away to use the ladies room before we left. When I returned, my date was telling my friends a work story, some context. This man was a segment producer for a regional television program. He regularly did background work for the on air talent which involved doing pre interviews. Some of these pre interviews were with well known media personalities. The story he was telling involved a person who was rather famous at the time, about 20 years ago and is extremely famous now. Here's my Icky or picky? I just heard the story on our first date. But not just heard the story in general. It was the exact retelling, the words, the phrasing, the hand gestures, the pause for audience response. It was, as Jared would say, a bit. I realized that what I thought was sharing and connecting was actually just two hours spent with a guy running through his act. This thought was backed up by him immediately launching into another story that I had heard on the first date. We finished the date but mutually faded out shortly thereafter. So icky or picky? Our date repeats the same stories to every audience. Signed a batch who didn't want tickets to the second show.

[Jordana Abraham]

I love this one.

[Jared Freid]

It's a really good Icky or picky. How do you feel, Jordana?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think this is picky. I think we all do this. We all have like a bit for a store. I mean like you probably more than most people, but I think we all have a. We all.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I'm just saying like you do this for a living. You tell a story a certain way that you know is going to elicit a certain reaction.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And that's the way you tell the story.

[Jared Freid]

Everyone wants to kill.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. I remember this. I just, I mean I do this probably with a lot of stuff, but when I had the. The infertile dog breeder, I would. I was around that time I was telling that story to everyone. And by the third time I told it, I was like, I kind of know like the places to pause and the places to do. That's kind of what you do for a living is you work on these, these things. You.

[Jared Freid]

It's like a. A p. A block of marble. You're etching away at it to get rid of the fat.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're learning where people are responding.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And then you do more on. A good stand up comic is a good listener.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So that's something that like knowing the audience. I know Michael Che, that guy is one of the best standups. That there is, you know, him from snl, but, like, he said that to me once, and I was like, that is the most true thing I have ever heard. Great standups are great listeners.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's good.

[Jared Freid]

And what you're saying is you're listening to the reaction. I get rid of that part. It bombs every time. You're not blaming the audience.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You're like, that part. Let's do that part where the breeder has a dog that doesn't have, you know, ovaries. Like, that's the thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's where people are responding.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So now I'm gonna do more on that bit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, I'm gonna blow that out

[Jordana Abraham]

and gloss over the thing that, you know, people don't seem to be, like. Seem to be tuning out for.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Bad storytellers don't listen. They're bad listeners.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

So, but what you're. But what you're saying is, like, when you have a story that's kind of

[Jordana Abraham]

an entry story, you think is entertaining. What she did, because she was like. I thought we connected over it. I get where she was, like, it felt. So. I mean, it depends what the story was, but I'm assuming it was, like, not extreme. It's a work story.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. And. And it's also like. Like, second date. And it's not like he's repeating it to her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. That's another good point.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Because this. That does happen. You go on a date with someone and you're dating a lot of people at the same time, you kind of forget where.

[Jordana Abraham]

Who you told what story to. Right. And maybe the person's, like, a little too polite to be like, I already heard that.

[Jared Freid]

Exactly. So, like, that's because. So there's a version of this where I'm like, that's icky.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, but this isn't her.

[Jared Freid]

I. This isn't her. He's telling. I'll give you a personal example. V came down to Delray beach, and we taped. You can go to my YouTube. You can see my apartment in Delray, and you can see, like, my tour of Delray Beach. And I had Emily in Delray, and I told her I, like, brought her to all the places that I had brought V to show on YouTube.

[Jordana Abraham]

So you did the same. Right.

[Jared Freid]

And she goes, I just saw the YouTube from Delray. I thought I was getting the story first. I'm like, yeah, that's why I told it to you. It's good.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's very.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I want to impress you the way I want to impress the audience. But that is.

[Jordana Abraham]

It is. Yeah. And I would be happy that they were trying to like impress my friends by telling them this funny story.

[Jared Freid]

Right. They they wanted to look good for. I totally agree with that. I, I think it's her being picky.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Especially. Here's the thing. Especially if it was a good story, if it's a bad story they keep telling everywhere, that's a little bit of a turn off. Or if it's like a very boring story, I'd be like, oh my God, he's going to tell them.

[Jared Freid]

That's why then you don't like them them. That's why they're a bad listener. That's like a good, that's like a good correlation you can make.

[Jordana Abraham]

And she clearly thought it was a good story because she thought they connected over it. You also connect over a story that you tell us to other people and

[Jared Freid]

you could say to that person, so you went to the story again. Like you can call them out. Like there's a fun way to like make fun of it. Like, this is my advice to anyone giving a best man or a bridesmaid speech or a maid of honor speech is always to tell a story you've already told.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Because you're good at it. You're good at it and you've already done what you're talking about. You've already drained out the not funny, the not interesting. You know the parts innately that people, their, their eyebrows go up. You know the parts that are funny. And then all you have to do is the fourth grade version of whatever your fourth grade teacher taught you in conclusion and relate the story to the couple you're talking about.

[Jordana Abraham]

There you go.

[Jared Freid]

And now you look like you've made a personalized. But you've already told the speech already and you've already made it clean because you've told it to many people.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So it's not this like dirty, gross story that you don't know how people

[Jordana Abraham]

are going to react to.

[Jared Freid]

Right. You know the story. So you have a story about your friend. You, if you're the bridesmaid, if you're the maid of honor, if you're the best man, you already have a story about them, I would hope.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

If you're that job.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, hopefully.

[Jared Freid]

And then you just say, and that's the reason they're perfect for each other. Yeah. And that's how all you have to do.

[Jordana Abraham]

Look, you guys just got a master class in stand up and speech writing and you didn't even have to pay for it. This isn't even a subscriber episode.

[Jared Freid]

That's why you should sign up for the subscriber episode. Go. Size of benefits. Go sign up. We love a benefits episode.

[Jordana Abraham]

We did. All right.

[Jared Freid]

It's where we get personal. Some podcasts don't even tell you what they do for work, so we get.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not here.

[Jared Freid]

Not here. We're giving you all our awards.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right.

[Jared Freid]

So picky, picky, picky. Yep.

[Jordana Abraham]

Hi. Jared and Joanna listened to listener for a few years. First time writing in both of your happiness is infectiously lately.

[Jared Freid]

Have. This is the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are we the other one super happy?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I keep thinking back to, like, we did, like, two years of, like, you on your baby journey and me, like, where people just like, what kind of happened to the show?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. It's almost like when someone says that you've, like, you look great or you've, like, lost, like, what did you think of me before?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did you think I was, like, a miserable.

[Jared Freid]

Because you.

[Jordana Abraham]

But it's nice.

[Jared Freid]

But we did get feedback during those. I love when you go on your rants. I love. Oh, my God. I'm going through the same thing. Trying to have a baby. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

My worry is that I'm too happy. I don't want you. That's unrelatable.

[Jared Freid]

Totally.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, don't worry.

[Jared Freid]

I'm still angry at all those people who commented that I.

[Jordana Abraham]

You've still got some rage in you. I'm not worried. I broke up with my boyfriend of over 7 years a few months ago.

[Jared Freid]

Welcome back.

[Jordana Abraham]

There we go.

[Jared Freid]

You're single again, then you're back.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's tough out there. There were many reasons, but this email isn't a sob story of our breakup.

[Jared Freid]

Thank God.

[Jordana Abraham]

I need to know if I was right about the girl. You don't need to worry about. He always had a ton of friends, both genders. Even his exes were still around. I was fine with it because I was never threatened. I red flagged one girl that he worked with. We'll call her Sally. Okay. And she's cute and young.

[Jared Freid]

Sally slut.

[Jordana Abraham]

Once at a work party, she started throwing stuff across the room at him. Then he put a sticker on Sally's back as a joke, and she reached over me and started smacking his head.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, that's all I need to hear.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's a little bit much. Are we in middle school right in front of this, like, girlfriend?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's very weird.

[Jared Freid]

Out of the way, Jason.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're underneath them attaching a group photo from the party. And she blurred the faces, but labeled the three of us in case. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words.

[Jared Freid]

This picture is worth a thousand words. It is Sally with her hand on the head of her ex, almost in

[Jordana Abraham]

a loving way to rage a rave. Like, what are they doing here?

[Jared Freid]

I don't. It looks like a. A luau of certain kind.

[Jordana Abraham]

And I hope this isn't how they dress to the office.

[Jared Freid]

Well, she's in the back. Literally. She couldn't be farther away from her own boyfriend.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, she does seem very touchy. I would never touch someone else's boyfriend like that.

[Jared Freid]

Well, wearing a crop top.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Sally going for it.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's very weird.

[Jared Freid]

Sally's hot. Can't even see her. She's like. You can't see her face behind a tree. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

They also sent each other Instagram reels every day. And he would give her rides a lot. He claimed no one else could help her, so I asked him to at least let me know when he was going to give her rides. Attached are the compilation of texts. FYI, most of these texts were after he promised to limit his interactions with Sally. I even caught him lying by omission about who he was playing video games with. But I was always the problem of not trusting him and being jealous. Do you want to read those texts?

[Jared Freid]

Gonna drop Blank off at her car, then come home. Love you. Leaving baby. Gonna drop Blank off at her car at Foodland and then head home. Love you. See you soon. But I'm gonna take Blank to the airport. To the airport today after work. All of her people can't take her. Hey, baby. I had to pick up Blank this morning, and I gotta take her home after work. Just letting you know her truck has a flat tire. She's a truck hottie with a truck, this Sally chick. Hey, baby, just want to let you know that Blank truck stalled at 7:11, so I went and fixed it and started it, then just had to take her home and drove her to work. So I'm gonna take her back home after work. Oh, yeah, baby mornings. The baby mornings been going so crazy. But I picked up Blank this morning and I'm gonna take her home today. Her truck is still broken. I'm gonna take home Blank and then take her to your house. Hi, baby. We paused a little bit late. I'm taking Blank home. All right. So it's just him.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Doing her a lot of stuff. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

He's getting roadhead from Sally.

[Jordana Abraham]

Fast forward to breaking up. He's been love bombing me, saying all he's thinking about is getting me back. Meanwhile, I'm hearing he's showing up to dinner with our mutual friends with Sally. Last nail on the coffin was when I planned an invite only event. And guess who he brings along to my event. Sally. I kept it cool to not ruin the event, but snapped the next day when he asked me if he could take me out for my birthday. He was shocked at how upset I was and finally. And I finally ripped into him and stopped him with a strong no, this isn't okay. Scolding like a dog. Is he really just that stupid and a pure soul that doesn't see cute girls or if I or have I been getting gaslit. I would appreciate your perspectives. Don't think I'm the crazy.

[Jared Freid]

Well, let me just tell her she's not crazy. You're entitled to how you feel. My advice to her, the fact that like this email is about like. Like they've broken up and he's still texting and then he invite. She invited him to a party she was having. He still has access to you. I think you need to shut down that access.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you think he's bringing her along to like a. To like make her jealous?

[Jared Freid]

I think this guy. I don't think it's that thought.

[Jordana Abraham]

Because she broke up with him.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

But like it seems like she was forced to break up with him not

[Jordana Abraham]

necessarily because of this issue though. Right.

[Jared Freid]

I broke up with.

[Jordana Abraham]

There are many reasons.

[Jared Freid]

There were many reasons. But this email isn't so to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

And he wants to get back to her.

[Jared Freid]

Well, if I was to like give her a like a diagnosis on why their relationship ended based on this email, it would. Because. Because she was only getting a portion of a boyfriend. And when. I'll speak for myself. I'm in a relationship now. There's just less time for other people.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

The person that you're in a relationship with takes over maybe the role of like seven people you used to text with.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

There's just mathematically I don't have the time again, I don't have the time to send the take or send the joke that I have to like a few people I text with you less.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Being in a relationship and when you're single, you kind of like spread yourself around. You're more available, you have the ability.

[Jordana Abraham]

Especially you. I mean you had to break up with your. With your old girlfriend, right?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. We don't want to talk. Are you keep my ex around?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Well, that is a little bit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I think you're on your I feel like you're on your phone less.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. And especially when I'm even listing a little less. I'm posting less, I'm posting less of my stories. I'm more thoughtful about what I put on my stories because some stuff is meant for just us too. Some stuff is meant for the greater right public. I don't want to like be repeating a story I just told to her. Like, yeah, sometimes I'll tell her a story, I'll be like, I think I should post that. You know, And I'm letting her know. I'm also looking a little bit for a, A kind of permission.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Of like, hey, I don't.

[Jordana Abraham]

What do you think?

[Jared Freid]

Take away the specialness that this felt for you, but this is also something I think would be funny for the grander. You know what I mean? Like, there's just a change you have to make. And it seems like she dated someone who made no change or effort at all to make her the priority or make the relationship the priority. And she was let down by that. And this Sally woman is like the physical version of that. Like Sally's almost like the AI turned into a human to represent the lack of attention her boyfriend was giving her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, I also think they were dating for over seven years. Right. And I think the new relationship definitely takes up more of your time than like the seven year in relationship. So I'm trying to think like if she. I, I agree. I think it's very weird to be putting your hand on someone else's boyfriend's head or like, like kind of like being flirty in front of them.

[Jared Freid]

But I do normal. And just drink your friend's breast milk.

[Jordana Abraham]

Exactly. That's how like a normal person. Right, Right. But I do think it's weird. I do think like if you were going to replace, like if she wasn't of the. Of if this wasn't a heterosexual relationship, like I could imagine texting Mike about this. And my friend, like, like my, like maybe before kids, while we were like seven years into a relationship, being like, I'm just dropping, let's say like my friend Liza off in her car. I'm doing this for her, like, like that. But the fact that she's of the opposite sex makes it really weird, I think. Yeah, I, like, I don't think it's necessarily about the time I. Because they've been. If it was a new relationship, I would say, yeah, that's weird. But seven years in, I think it's more about like the inappropriateness of that male Female relationship. And, like, the, The. The flirting in front of him.

[Jared Freid]

Sure. That. That definitely is part of it. And it's also. I. I just don't know. Would you have time to give Liza a ride home every day?

[Jordana Abraham]

Not every day, but if I, If I, I, maybe I would drop her. I would drop her off at her car every now and then. That wouldn't be, like, take her to the airport. Like, I would never take anyone to the airport.

[Jared Freid]

Here's the thing. Well, I wouldn't either. But if you're. If your relationship is great.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And you're getting all of it from it. You want, you're not going to question the rides to the airport, the rides home, because you're like, I'm getting everything. You know, you wouldn't even think of this.

[Jordana Abraham]

I would still think it was weird. I think if I was. Even if I was getting everything that I wanted in my. And Mike was driving his female co worker to the airport.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. That's weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's the. I think if it was a male friend, it wouldn't be that weird. If he was like. If Emily was like, I'm dropping off my friend at the airport who doesn't have a ride and asked me to drop her off, he wouldn't be like, that's so weird. If she was saying she had a male friend and they were, like, flirty in front of you and he was driving, that would be much weirder.

[Jared Freid]

One thing connects to the other. But I. And also, on its own, it's not that weird. I have a friend at work, and they need a ride to the airport. Their car broke down. That happens. Like, But I. I think the. The nature of it, like, being over and over again.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

It's like, okay, you have made them a priority equal to the relationship.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, especially if she says it makes her uncomfortable.

[Jared Freid]

I've already told them. So now you're still doing this. Why are they as important as me? The whole point of a relationship is that this person is your responsibility. This relationship is your responsibility. Other people aren't your responsibility as much. You know, you have a responsibility to be, you know, polite and classy and nice, but you don't have a responsibility to, like, make sure they get home from work every day.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, do you think? So what do you think about. So she broke up with him, right?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is one of many reasons she broke up with him. Does she have a right to be, like, really mad that he's bringing her to all these events?

[Jared Freid]

I think she needs to see that this is who he is. He doesn't seem to care as much about.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, if he didn't care when they were in a relationship, why would he care now about bringing her to.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

It was weirder when they were in a relationship then.

[Jared Freid]

Now he's free to do this. Yeah, Yeah. I. I think you're dealing with someone who, you know, everyone has different forms of addiction. This guy's addicted to a certain type of attention. Yeah. In this way, some people get addicted to, like, a phone attention, a dating app attention. This is a. This guy's like the office flirt who gets a lot of people that like to talk to him and then he, you know, treats everyone the same.

[Jordana Abraham]

But do you think he's doing this on purpose now that they're broken up?

[Jared Freid]

I don't think so.

[Jordana Abraham]

That based on the story, he just wants the attention.

[Jared Freid]

I think just attention is attention.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I don't care how it comes or how. How it is. And he's begging her for more attention. He's saying, get back with me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

So, like, he's a little bit like, fiending.

[Jordana Abraham]

So what's going through his mind when he's, like, still bringing this friend around and texting her that he wants to be back with her, and then she's screaming at him the next day?

[Jared Freid]

I think he thinks that he's not that bad of a guy. He's being nice to people.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I think he's like, that's my friend.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, he also probably does. I agree with her. I agree with him that he probably does feel really lonely now that she broke up with him. That's why he's bringing the friend around, because she likes him.

[Jared Freid]

But that's why this girl needs to, like, you need to cut communication. You're not doing anything to help yourself. You're keeping.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Either get back with him and accept that this is who he is or don't see him.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

You invited him to your party, so you're. You're shocked that the guy who is acting the exact same way at your party that he was when you were together.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. So, like, taking it a step further because he's not in a relationship, right. He doesn't have you being like, don't bring her. Well, now he still does.

[Jared Freid]

Now he can. Yeah. Yeah. So I think if she has to break up, listen, seven years, a long time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Time. I get it.

[Jared Freid]

Seven years is really tough. She needs to stop hanging out with him, stop contact and say to him, contacting me is like a no go. I need to get better.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Like, right now, this is like, she's kind of half doing it still, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And I think he's kind of like, I think it's not really fair to be like, you can't hang out with this person still.

[Jared Freid]

Well, the thing that she's really, like, caught up on is the. She even said in her email, she referred to her as the girl you don't need to worry about. So, like, she's also, like a little bit of a detective.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So she wants to be, like, proven right almost that they're hooking up.

[Jordana Abraham]

That, like, the whole time there was something weird there. Yeah. There is something there between one, at least one of them.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And that's something that's tough for us to, like, tell her to do. She is so concerned with what the end of this movie is.

[Jordana Abraham]

Doesn't even matter.

[Jared Freid]

It doesn't matter. But it matters to her because she's like, I just want to know I'm not crazy. I just want to know that I was, like, totally right this whole time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That this girl was someone. And then she's not going to feel better when she finds out the answers. She's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And here's the thing. Even if they're hooking up now, like, it doesn't mean he was in love with her the whole time. No, I don't really believe that.

[Jared Freid]

If anything, it means she's just another easy drug dealer who can get him his fix.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? Yeah. So I don't think if they hooked up now, it means you were right the whole time that they were hooking up or there was something.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Because the only thing it means is that she did like him the whole time, which I think is kind of obvious.

[Jared Freid]

Like, the whole time I was like, why did she invite him to the party? She invited him to find out that, like, she wanted to see this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

She wanted him to bring the girl and go. I told.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. The whole time it's like.

[Jared Freid]

And I. I don't know if she's gonna find happiness in that

[Jordana Abraham]

girl. Winter is so last season and now spring's got you looking at pictures of tank tops with hungry. Your algorithm is feeding you cutoffs. You're thirsty for the sun on your shoulders that perfect hang on the patio sundress those sandals you can wear all day and all night and you've had enough of shopping from your couch. Done Hoping it looks anything like the picture when you tear open that envelope. It's time for a little in person spring treat. It's time for a Trip to Ross. Work your magic.

[Jared Freid]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips? That's the energy State Farm brings to insurance. With over 19,000 local agents, they help you find the coverage that fits your needs so you can spend less time worrying about insurance and more time enjoying the ride. Download the State Farm app or go [e-mail] like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

[Jared Freid]

Let's play some games.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Red flag or deal breaker. It's the game that is sweeping the country. You are dating someone. It's going amazing. One thing happens and you're like, is it a red flag? I just notice it, but I'll stay in it. Or is it a deal breaker? You end at sight on scene. You ready?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yep.

[Jared Freid]

J and J. I've been seeing a guy for the past seven months. Last night we went out on a midweek date for drinks and apps. I thought the date was going well, conversation was flowing, and we were making plans to check out another spot after we got the bill. After we were waiting for the bill, he slipped out and I'm bored. Instantly, this rubbed me the wrong way. One, because I was having a good time, and two, if you're bored, why are we making plans to go to another spot? When I asked him about it, said he didn't mean the comment about me and meant it as a I'm bored. I'm sitting. He apologized multiple times, but it didn't sit right with me. I decided afterwards I didn't want to go to the second place with him and have him drop me off at home. Deal breaker or petty? Was I too sensitive to the comment of feeling bored seven months in? Part of me thinks I was, but another part of me feels like the guy I'm with wouldn't feel that way when I'm out on a date with him. Did I take it too personally? Would love to hear your thoughts. What do you think? Think.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think she's taking this too personally. They're seven months in. I thought this was, like, the first date, and I was gonna say it's just a red flag.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I thought it was a first date and you were literally dating someone on the show. Love. Love on the spectrum. Like, that is such a.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's a stupid comment to make.

[Jared Freid]

It's a. It's a different move. Weird. I mean, maybe not the wrong phrasing, but, like, to just, like, be waiting for the I'm bored.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Is like so out of nowhere.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's a stupid comment to make. I think it like, like, listen, if he didn't apologize and said like and kind of double down on it, that would be a bigger deal. But people sometimes just say shit. Sometimes you just say shit. I don't think it means he's bored with her. They were waiting to go to the next place. They've been dating seven months. If someone said, this is a first date, I think it'd be a bigger deal, but still not necessarily a deal breaker. If they apologized for it and we're like, I don't know why I just said that. That was stupid.

[Jared Freid]

Do you think my one thought people just say stuff. But I don't think he was saying, I'm bored with, with you. I think he was maybe saying, and

[Jordana Abraham]

bored at the restaurant.

[Jared Freid]

I'm bored with the dynamic. Like sometimes their dynamic.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like sometimes you're just trying to like, see if this relate. Boring isn't the person. You've gone out with them for seven months, you enjoy them in some way. But maybe there's this idea that, like, our dynamic feels very similar every time and I just want to, like, throw this off course for a second to see where this could maybe take us. So to say something like that out of left field where you're like, I'm bored. You're just kind of like, maybe like, I, I, I don't know if I've ever done that me.

[Jordana Abraham]

You think he means, like, that's almost worse. Like, I'm really bored with like, as opposed to, I'm bored at this restaurant.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Seven months in, we're going on dates. It can be boring.

[Jordana Abraham]

It can.

[Jared Freid]

You've gone to dinner.

[Jordana Abraham]

He clearly needs a lot of stimulation.

[Jared Freid]

Right. You're about to go for a drink and it's like, you know, I, I don't know if he said it, like, just to say it or just to see what happens. It's a little bit like the puppet master. Let me throw in this, this variable that kind of shakes this very monotonous guy. Girl going on dates. 1, 2, 3, 4, 7 months. Are we going to be in a relationship? Will we move in? Like, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think she could ask, what did you mean by that?

[Jared Freid]

Right. I think getting mad at him and going, I'm the problem. It's, it's looking over the. What could be a more like. I think what you're saying is totally right. Like, there's a bigger conversation here.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I'm bored while getting the check at a dinner. You're having with me. What do you mean by that?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? I, I. Are you bored with this dynamic? Do you want to shake things up a little bit?

[Jared Freid]

Right. Do you think we go on dates that are just the same every time? Do you wish I was a more active participant in planning these days?

[Jordana Abraham]

He's gonna regret saying this, right?

[Jared Freid]

I think curiosity keep him up till

[Jordana Abraham]

2am discussing what he meant by that.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I. I mean, her anger kind of,

[Jordana Abraham]

like, disrupted what could have been an interesting conversation.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And maybe he was yearning for that, didn't know how to do it, and he was like, let me just scream this thing out and see what happens. Like, I. I've been in that scenario where I'm just like, this person's nice. I'm nice. We're having a good time. But, like, is this life?

[Jordana Abraham]

Would you say, I'm bored?

[Jared Freid]

Boring. Can you imagine?

[Jordana Abraham]

That's crazy. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That was always in our fraternity. That was something. It was a great way to. With something.

[Jordana Abraham]

Someone just to say boring when they're telling a story.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. If someone was, like, talking and, like, telling a story and if it went like, a little too long, you were just like, boring.

[Jordana Abraham]

You should do that with our guests.

[Jared Freid]

I. Next. Next. Someone should do that to me. Shut the up.

[Jordana Abraham]

If you're a guest that wants to come on. Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. So I think it's a deal breaker. Her response to it, being angry, going home.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Like, especially when he apologized and doesn't like, again, I think if he was, like, doubling down, like, yeah, I'm really bored. I just.

[Jared Freid]

Fine, I'm bored. That's it. Sorry.

[Jordana Abraham]

This conversation is. Even if he was just like, this conversation is boring. It's rude.

[Jared Freid]

Well, he's part of the conversation. So, like, when she's. When he says it's boring.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, what do people tell kids who say, I'm bored. Only boring people are bored. Right?

[Jared Freid]

What. What are we gonna do about this? She. She took it as you're boring, which kind of reveals her insecurity. But also, if she got very mad,

[Jordana Abraham]

that would be her. If someone said they were bored around you, would you be mad?

[Jared Freid]

I'll go, whoa, what's. I. I would either know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you need me to do my special for you?

[Jared Freid]

I could do some jokes. Yeah, Well, I would. I would go, what made you say that? Like, I. I don't know if getting mad and then I gotta go home.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That's someone that doesn't want to hear. She didn't want to hear the honesty.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. It is a red flag. For the seven month the relationship.

[Jared Freid]

Right. No, seven months. I'm bored. Let's talk about this. I don't think she was as invested in it as maybe she thought she was. So let's do another one.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it. Hi, jj. Congrats, Jordana, and welcome back. Jared, great to see you In San Francisco last year. Come back soon. I'm writing him with the red flagger. Deal breaker. I'm 41 female and I've been seeing a 51 male for a little over a month. We were set up by a friend. There's a great connection and we're exclusively dating. One night I went out with him to meet some of his gym friends at a bar. We all ended up going out dancing and had a genuinely fun night.

[Jared Freid]

He does not sound 51.

[Jordana Abraham]

It sounds fun.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

He was driving me home and we were chit chatting about his friends. Right before dropping me off, he tells me he has an attraction to one of the women who I just met that night. Not that she's attractive, but that he's attracted to her. Side note, she's also my neighbor. Small town. I said present tense. It wasn't framed as something in the past or resolved. Just a current thing. He said he was just being honest. It made me want to jump out of the car. But I stayed and we talked a bit. We've had a few longer conversations since. At first it felt like he was reacting to me being upset rather than really understanding why. There was also some minimizing. Instead of fully owning it, he eventually acknowledged it more directly. But it took some prompting that said it did lead to some good conversations and he was. Oh, he was very open to having them for context. He's not testing the waters for polyamory. That was one of my thoughts.

[Jared Freid]

That was my thought too. San Francisco.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, that's very ENM central. He is into me and says he wants something monogamous. I'm still left a bit confused why he would say something like this at all. It felt unnecessary and a bit inconsiderate. Is it a red flag that the guy I'm dating told me he's attracted to another woman right after we met her? Is this a red flag or deal breaker or just a one off moment of bad judgment?

[Jared Freid]

What do you think this would be

[Jordana Abraham]

a deal breaker for me?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's just like someone who clearly has either like doesn't care or no awareness or no social skills to say that he's also 51.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, like I have to believe there's knowledge in how you say things at that age, you would hope. You would hope. He could have said this so many different ways.

[Jordana Abraham]

What could he have said?

[Jared Freid]

I just think, you know, you're out. You know, I just think I gotta say, you know, who's beautiful? You know, you think that would be better, I'm attracted to her versus I think she's beautiful.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's still weird to say I think she's beautiful. You don't think.

[Jared Freid]

How about, I think Lisa is very attractive just out of the blue.

[Jordana Abraham]

Why would you say that? Would you ever say that to your girlfriend, a woman you guys just met?

[Jared Freid]

No. It would have to come up in the con. I could see how it would come up in the conversation. What did you think? I. She's very pretty. Very pretty.

[Jordana Abraham]

They would have to be so unbelievably hot for that to be an acceptable thing. Like, to where, like, it was like a thing.

[Jared Freid]

A universally known hottie.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

I disagree with him. Let me get.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it'd be weird even if he said, I think, like, just stating that he thinks she's attractive. Wouldn't it be weird if you were out with your. Your girlfriend or even on a date and the person. It doesn't. They've been dating for over a month. They're not even exclusively dating. And you meet someone for the first time a. Like a. Another couple of people and she was like that guy. So hot.

[Jared Freid]

I. I think I agree with you. Where they would have to be universally hot. Like, it would have to be a striking individual.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

It couldn't be like, that's my taste in. In hotties. And I just have to let you know. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I can't see a scenario where it would be normal for a man to just be like, telling me that someone, again, not a non celebrity.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Regular person we were just out with that they could hypothetically have sex with one day.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So attractive to me. That's why the polyamory thing came up. It does feel like you're trying to shake a tree a little bit.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

When you say, like, I. Especially the way he said it. I think the way he said it

[Jordana Abraham]

is I'm attracted to her is even weirder.

[Jared Freid]

I think that's like the top of the weird mountain.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Like you go. I think there's levels. There's a spectrum to this. I'm attracted to Lisa after meeting her while on a date with someone else is almost like weaponized. Like, what are you trying to get at? What are you trying.

[Jordana Abraham]

Why would you say that?

[Jared Freid]

Why would you say that to me? Do you want to bring a third into this? Would be like a kind of a reasonable.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or are you trying to tell me that you are, you want to not be monogamous, right?

[Jared Freid]

What, what is the message being sent is a totally appropriate response? The fact that she says it took him some convincing so to like figure out that like, well, that's why this

[Jordana Abraham]

man is single at 51. Well, I think that goes into it.

[Jared Freid]

This is the scary part about being older and single is you go unchallenged.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's no one to tell you.

[Jared Freid]

Like there's no one going, what did you just say?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Because no one cares, especially for men. Maybe their friends think it's like, like funny. So they're also like motivated or incentivized to keep being ridiculous.

[Jared Freid]

And men are not very into self improvement. We think that we're okay already here

[Jordana Abraham]

unless it's at golf.

[Jared Freid]

That's it. We only care about improving a golf game.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's it.

[Jared Freid]

And that's it. Everything else, we're pretty perfect. So. And I see this, I, I, I've met some, you know, I see this from myself as a, you know, getting in a relationship, having been single for like the past five years and being older. Well, I do it this way. This is company policy and I'm, I've been running my company forever. I've never had a business partner. You know, this is 51. This is a guy who's never had a business partner who's been like, no. Well, I do it this way and we have to figure out why would

[Jordana Abraham]

you think it was weird that I.

[Jared Freid]

Because I'm your partner and it affects my business as well. Like it's like, right, well, that's why

[Jordana Abraham]

if there's a, if there's like, if it, if there's a reason that being older especially I think for men and being a red flag that you've either haven't been in a relationship in a while or never been in a relationship. It's stuff like this. It's like, I'm not gonna have to train you to know how to interact with another person.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Non insulting way.

[Jared Freid]

It's, you know, men are almost too sure of how they're doing things and women as they get older are almost not sure enough. You know, like there's a lot of like safety taken by older women. Like I've been on dates with women who are like, I, you know, especially if you've been telling yourself you're a grandma since 21.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You're like, by 35, you're like, how could I ever be loved? You know, like, like I'm right. And. And so you're very protective. And a lot of these men who are out there, they go the other way. You know, we see this with the.

[Jordana Abraham]

They're like doubling down in their views.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Well, no one's ever told me I'm wrong, so I must be right, you know, And I'm not wrong for being single. I've never been told I'm wrong for being single. I'm just having fun. So now you're like, guy who's had fun and done everything right. So, yeah, I'm gonna say whatever the I want that comes out of my mouth. Like, that's like a sad reality. And I think the other side of it is true as well.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I was on those dates where I felt like I had to cheer up women, you know, Like, I've been on those dates. Yeah. I was like, oh, got your nose. You know, like. And then finally you get a laugh out of them. It's like, see, can you be normal?

[Jordana Abraham]

But you don't want to have to be doing that.

[Jared Freid]

I. That's why it didn't go past the first date. They were nice people, but it just. I could tell the fists were up. This guy has no fists. He's just walking to an annoying forehead.

[Jordana Abraham]

Annoyingly.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I mean, this would be a deal breaker for me, definitely. I just think if they're already saying like this, it's only going to get worse.

[Jared Freid]

It's just there's no care for the person that you're supposed to care the most about.

[Jordana Abraham]

And to be honest, obviously to me, there's nothing wrong with being attracted to another woman.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

You just don't need to tell someone. That's part of, like, respect. You don't need to tell someone every thought you have.

[Jared Freid]

I do think you can say it. It in a way that isn't you again, you're doing a tight wire act. I. I think you can say. I. I just think you were at a dinner. Linda has a. Linda's got a great look. I don't know. You can.

[Jordana Abraham]

What would be the. What would be, like, the merit of saying that?

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. I. I don't know why I would.

[Jordana Abraham]

To me, that's like, I'm bored.

[Jared Freid]

Well, no, I, I do think that's part of this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

That's why I was like, in the beginning, polyamory was like, the answer. But I do think there is this element where people say things to get. If you talk about sexual stuff.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

You can go down the road of sexuality. So just bringing up I'm attracted to Linda, to your girlfriend is kind of kinky. So you're trying to get down the road of sex and kink. I. In my. In my opinion. Opinion.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Because the, the conversation might not have been broached. You're new to each other. He wants to talk about sex in a.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's why he's saying it. I.

[Jared Freid]

That's my only thought. That's why polyamory was the first thought. Just like you. Where I'm like, he. It might not be polyamory, but there's something he wants to test with you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

I don't think he goes, that's one up.

[Jordana Abraham]

One option is that. Is that. And the other option is that he just doesn't give a five.

[Jared Freid]

He's a piece of. And I'm gonna say what's on my mind because Joe Rogan told me. Right, right. It's these free thinker types that say things that they know are going to instigate people and it's all with a bad actor mentality.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I don't believe in that pursuit. I think they're liars. They just want attention.

[Jordana Abraham]

I agree.

[Jared Freid]

So this is his way of getting attention or it's his way of. Of talking about kink. That would be like the option.

[Jordana Abraham]

Two options. Yeah, but if you couldn't be honest about that.

[Jared Freid]

But, but I've told girlfriends before that I've found a woman attract like her look. Look good and. And never felt that it was like gone off the rails in that way.

[Jordana Abraham]

Someone you had both just like seen or met.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, but it was. It feel. I'm not saying I can remember a specific conversation, but it never felt like it was done this way.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It always felt appropriate if, If I was dating someone, they were like. Like I can think of a few friends of mine that if I. If my girlfriend was like, that guy good looking, I'd be like, yeah, always. Any girl that guy, you know, crushes it just a. And I would agree.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

I could see my. On the other side of that, I could see myself being like, totally agree. That guy kills it. I wish I had his body.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, I've said, would you rather her say I'm. That guy is really attractive or that guy is hysterical?

[Jared Freid]

If they were hysterical, I would agree.

[Jordana Abraham]

They would have to be really hysterical.

[Jared Freid]

They'd have to be funny to me too.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

If I didn't get it Like, I'd be like, really? Like, if. So if. If I. If my. If. If Emily said that she found a comedian I didn't find funny.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

We have had this conversation. She.

[Jordana Abraham]

She has. It happened.

[Jared Freid]

It has happened. And I said, what did you like?

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

I questioned it. I was like, really? It was more question. I can tell you. It was off.

[Jordana Abraham]

Great.

[Jared Freid]

And I was like, really? And they're like, I caught them during this part of, you know, the pandemic and this. Or I started watching their stuff this and then and this. And she had an explanation. I was like, well, let's go to the tapes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

You were like, I need to move you wrong. I need to show you what I'm

[Jordana Abraham]

shying when someone likes a horrible movie or something too.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And sometimes people just come at someone at an angle. You go, okay, I can see why this, like, right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That particular. I'll allow it for that bit.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But there's a couple where I'm like, you don't think this sounds like A, B and C?

[Jordana Abraham]

Sometimes it's like the person's talking about their interests, their. You know, they.

[Jared Freid]

This was a surprise. I couldn't believe.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm excited to hear who it is.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. This hack.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do one more.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. J and J, big fan of you. Up and over sharing since the beginning. I even still have my copy of Nice if Just a Place in France.

[Jordana Abraham]

Nice is Just a Place in France. That was my bestseller.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

That was my New York Times bestseller.

[Jared Freid]

I'll get you a hat too.

[Jordana Abraham]

There we go.

[Jared Freid]

From when it was first published. Well, that's wonderful. I'm really.

[Jordana Abraham]

They should really not let 22 year olds write a book.

[Jared Freid]

Do you have that feeling about the book?

[Jordana Abraham]

A little bit. I'm like, I'm scared. I'm kind of scared to. It's kind of like if you were. You were gonna watch your own stand up from 22, you might be like, I don't know if I want to see.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Well, this is the basis of, like, I Feel Bad for the Generations coming up now. They. There's no workspace. Or maybe from my angle, maybe they. They have a secret workspace that they don't tell old people about. But, like, where's the workspace to up right. You know, Like, I'm sure there's a guy who's 23 right now who's like, loves all the people that are profiled on the Manosphere documentary.

[Jordana Abraham]

Definitely.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. He thinks they are the coolest.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's like, probably several of those people.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. Huge fan. Can't understand why anyone wouldn't like them. They make great points. I don't like to feel that that guy can't come back to normalcy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I, I think that, yeah, there's

[Jordana Abraham]

empathy there, sympathy for.

[Jared Freid]

I don't think the Internet offers a lot of stuff for that person. That's my, that's my fear. I, I, because I've had opinions that I would go, yeah, that's an opinion

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't believe in anymore. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, I, I, I just think it's like, and then people use that to like say that they're fraudulent in all their takes on going forward and it's like, well, we really paint ourselves into a corner. We really, we're if that's the case.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I mean, it's one thing if it's recent, but it's like, are you the same person you were when you were 21? 20?

[Jared Freid]

When I was 25.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, no.

[Jared Freid]

When I was 30. No. People do the thing and they go, well, they were 30. They should know better. Some, I don't know. I don't know if I should know better. Listen, I'm 41 and I'm thinking of myself like my parents being 41 and having me. Like, I can't believe my parents parented me at the age I am now.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, so same. And, and I'm, I can go back and show them five different things that they did or said to me when I was, when they were 41.

[Jordana Abraham]

They probably don't agree with that.

[Jared Freid]

They wouldn't agree with either. So like this idea that like they're, they should know they're past whatever age by whatever metric. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

I, no, I agree with that.

[Jared Freid]

I feel bad about that. I'm recently back on Hinge and I had to get yalls take on this interaction. See screenshots attached. The conversation was fine until he asked me to FaceTime before meeting. I've gotten this request a few times before and it's never a good sign. So I tried to play it off like I didn't want to give my number out but before meeting, which is true in some cases. However, his response in telling me he is currently scheduling coffee dates a month out after passing an initial phone screening was such a turnoff. It took any sense of romance out of the conversation and made me feel like I was in a queue of other women just waiting for their chance to date him. I'll probably get for saying this, but it's worth noting that there was nothing particularly special about him in terms of looks, career, personality, profile, etc. That would justify his approach. And the fact that he was compelled to announce it screamed insecurity to me. It was a deal breaker for me, as you can see in my response. But it would love to get your thoughts. Sincerely, a betch confused about whether this is Hinge or hr. Great sign off. What do you think? Do we want to read it?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, let's read the text. You'll be him.

[Jared Freid]

I'll be the don't read his phone number. Not special yeah, I won't read his phone number. I'll be the not special guy in looks, career, personality or profile.

[Jordana Abraham]

Your everyday man.

[Jared Freid]

Okay Joe Joe Smith so Monday or Tuesday evening could work or a noon lunch call could work or in two weeks here's my number.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't give my number out before

[Jared Freid]

meeting Zoom or Google or something. Maybe get a Google voice number for dating. I have a daughter 50 I love. I love this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Finishes the sent doesn't even have time to finish his sentences.

[Jared Freid]

Not at all. I just love the idea that he's like get another number for dating so you don't have to. Yeah, this is how you do it. Zoom or Google or something. Maybe get a Google voice number for dating. I have a daughter 50% do run groups and work so don't have many free days. Currently scheduling coffee dates for late May as second dates after a phone call

[Jordana Abraham]

screen lol Scheduling dates for a month out after a phone screening. Is this a date or a job interview? Very odd. No thanks.

[Jared Freid]

Thanks. Okay Jordana, red flagger. Deal breaker.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think wanting to have a like a FaceTime, Zoom or Google voice date before a a first date is fine if that's your preference. I think the way that he's saying it does sound like he's basically talking to her like she's his assistant.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And that's really the turn off. And like saying this is like his policy basically. And like it does make it feel like oh I'm so busy. Like I can slot you in here. It's just not a fun way to set up a date date. He could have this exact same preference and word it differently and I think that would be okay.

[Jared Freid]

I can slot you in from even someone whose work. If it's a work call, I'm always like who the do you think you are?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I have that with work.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I agree. Anyone who's like oh I can meet for 15 minutes before this thing. I can slot you in like if we're real quick, like off.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like I'm doing okay. I'm not. Not looking for an internship after college.

[Jordana Abraham]

That being said.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Have being busy and slotting someone in is fine.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

But the way that you relay it to them, I think shows how much you respect them.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And how important this is to you matches how important it is to them. Like when you're going on a date, you want it to be important to everybody.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, I'm leaving the house, that my time is valuable. I'm leaving the house. My time is valuable. You want everyone to be assuming someone

[Jordana Abraham]

else's time is right.

[Jared Freid]

We want all to be feel even in that transaction. I do. I do agree. She is made to feel by his languaging. Not as an even.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Partner in this date that they're trying to have. I will say to her for some feedback. I do. I don't think. I don't know if it got to this point, if this is like a boiling point. We're reading. Because it does feel like she has her own rules.

[Jordana Abraham]

Very odd. No things.

[Jared Freid]

Right. That response. I'm not saying she shouldn't be.

[Jordana Abraham]

I would think that. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Very odd. No thanks. I'm like, who do you think you are? Do you know what I mean? Like, and it's. She said she'll get for this. I'm not giving her. You're allowed to look at a profile and go, they seem okay. Yeah, that's fine. But like, they seem fine and they don't deserve a FaceTime is kind of a miserable correlation you're making. Like. Like. Because she even says the conversation was fine until he asked me to FaceTime before meeting. I've gotten this request a few times before. It's never a good sign. I think that perspective is something she can kind of come off a little bit.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a FaceTime.

[Jared Freid]

Right. She's kind of has a company policy here. It sounds.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's okay to not want to do that. But I also think there's nothing wrong with wanting to do that.

[Jared Freid]

Both. Both can be true. And I think the languaging of saying to someone why you don't want. Hey. I like it's different to say if someone says, I'd love to FaceTime this week if you're around because I'm so busy. And then you're like, hey, I'm like, game for a date. If you want to do coffee, I can do that. And we don't even need to FaceTime.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

That's a negotiation. That's two people on the same level.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And it sounds like she was letting him know he's not that great and he's letting her know she's not that great. Like they're both doing their own version of it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, that's why they're not a great match.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And I think they're. Yeah, they're both. They're both wording these things that are. Which are totally acceptable to, like, too strongly.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Because I just. I've gotten this request a few times, so I tried to play it off like I didn't want to give my number out before meeting. Well, you didn't play it off off. I don't give my number out before me.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's also not fun either.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So, like, you're both like, kind of like at a. You're. It's like a dick measuring contest.

[Jared Freid]

Yes, absolutely. So if you can take that feedback in stride, I hope you can. The both of your dicks seem small based on this interaction, but I do. I do think he is the deal breaker. More than she is. Yes. In this interaction.

[Jordana Abraham]

Agreed. Again, like, I think currently scheduling coffee dates for late May least hot, romantic way to put anything even. Again, if that is. If that is true, that is fine.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

But you don't need to phrase it like that. You need to learn more personal interpersonal skills.

[Jared Freid]

Well, we solve dating again.

[Jordana Abraham]

We did it. We'll be back on Friday.

[Jared Freid]

Boom. You can't reason with the sun. Trust us, we've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your [e-mail] to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome. Columbia engineered for whatever.