Who Covers Travel Costs After a Breakup?

Summary

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U Up? Podcast — Episode Summary

Who Covers Travel Costs After a Breakup?

Podcast: U Up?
Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: December 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the thorny territory of post-breakup travel costs, dating etiquette, gift-giving during the holidays, and the social expectations that persist in modern relationships. Through witty banter and candid listener letters, Jordana and Jared navigate awkward social conundrums with humor and insight—never shying away from the nuances of modern dating, self-esteem, and the evolving gender roles in relationships.

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Main Discussion Segments

1. Cozy Catch-Ups & The Importance of Friendship Plans

Timestamps: 01:30–08:16

• Jordana recounts a recent girls' retreat upstate, complete with movie debates (“Is George Clooney still hot?”), sound baths, and cozy dinners.
• She highlights the mental health benefits of group getaways:
  • “Half of the beauty of a plan with friends is looking forward to the plan. The group chat that leads into the plan... this is a month of wait and good, I’m so excited to see you all.” – Jordana (07:50)
• Jared shares touring stories and family visits, touching on multi-generational family finances and etiquette around who pays when dining out with much older relatives.
  • Notable quote: “Whoever planned it, pays it.” – Jared (11:07)

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2. Gift-Giving Etiquette in Friendships and Partnerships

Timestamps: 13:29–20:49

• The hosts discuss their own holiday gift exchange, unveiling gifts purchased via Uber Eats, and the thought process behind choosing practical, thoughtful, and non-gag gifts.
  • Jordana loved her spa kit; Jared gets a theragun-style massager for post-flight stiffness.
  • “I like a poo poo platter of gifts.” – Jared (17:22)
  • “There’s nothing better than getting just multi… oh wow, a real deep mask gift set!” – Jordana (17:04)
• Both extol the virtues of thoughtful, easy gifting and the joy of giving friends something that “feels luxurious, but you’re not paying an exorbitant amount” (Jordana, 21:00).
• The importance of small, meaningful holiday gifting for friends and partners.

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3. Spotify Wrapped, the 'Ick,' and Modern Self-Love

Timestamps: 23:44–34:22

• Listener letter: Is it weird or just “icky” if your boyfriend’s top Spotify song is his own?
  • Both hosts argue it’s a harmless quirk—especially for creative types.
  • “It would be more embarrassing if you knew how many times you looked at your own Instagram story.” – Jared (30:22)
  • The broader idea: Monitoring or celebrating yourself (phone background pics, music listens, etc.) can seem egotistical, but often stems from pride or creative self-review.
  • “I almost think it’s a bigger red flag that his picture is of himself [on his phone],” reflects Jordana (31:51), questioning the comfort level with self-celebration in relationships.

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4. Gendered Dynamics of Breakup Narratives — Alex Earle & Celebrity Relationships

Timestamps: 34:31–48:13

• Jared launches into commentary on social media’s reaction to Alex Earle and Braxton Berrios’ breakup:
  • Observes the “go girl, onto bigger and better things” response, contrasting it with typical reactions if roles were reversed.
  • Ponders: Are men and women judged differently for post-breakup ambition or “trading up”?
  • Quotes:
    • “When women do it, it’s said out loud and everyone’s like, cool with it… I’m not crying for Braxton, but men in this world… are hearing the cheering…” – Jared (41:55)
    • “If the male stock is rising and ours is… declining, our incentive is to commit earlier.” – Jordana (43:25)
  • Both reflect on audience reactions and double standards rather than blaming individuals: “I never fault the person—I fault the audience… The audience is also the one that’s writing to us, ‘why won’t these men commit?’” – Jared (47:27)

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5. Dating Etiquette: Who Pays After a Breakup-Canceled Trip?

Timestamps: 50:36–59:01

• Listener dilemma: She planned an expensive destination wedding trip with a new boyfriend—who then broke up with her weeks before. Should he pay his part of the resulting hotel/flight costs?
• Hosts reach a consensus:
  • The considerate thing would have been for the dumper to proactively offer to offset costs.
  • Jared: “When you’re entitled to something, don’t look for additional sympathy… make it logical, make it less emotional.” (58:04)
  • Advice: Give a clear, unemotional breakdown of costs and make a reasonable request for reimbursement.
  • Jordana: “I think she’s entitled to something… if I’m the one ending it, I would want to settle up.” (57:06)
• Both joke about the need for “breakup insurance” (59:01).

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6. Red Flag or Dealbreaker? Listener Dating Scenarios

Timestamps: 60:08–77:13

a. Family Amazon Account Past Adulthood

• Husband still shares an Amazon account with his mom and brother instead of with his wife.
  • Both find it suspect but not a dealbreaker. It may indicate reluctance to merge lives or simply inertia.
  • “If I was unsure of the relationship, I’m not joining your Prime account.” – Jared (64:19)

b. Hidden Apartment After Months of Dating

• Four months in, a woman has never been invited to a boyfriend’s place.
  • Hosts agree: This is weird and increasingly suspicious.
  • “The longer this goes, the more uncomfortable I get. I’m more turned off by you hiding this place than I am whatever’s going to be behind that door.” – Jared (73:05)
  • “I would break up with someone over that—that’s weird.” – Jordana (75:07)

c. Spit Cleaning the Table

• Boyfriend spits on the table to clean a stain with his sleeve, ignoring actual cleaning supplies.
  • Both find this to be a classic, if harmless, “red flag” rooted in childish or TV-learned behavior.
  • “It is a red flag if your boyfriend was instructed on how to be an adult by the TV show Looney Tunes.” – Jared (75:57)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Friendship & Making Plans:
  • “Half of the beauty of a plan with friends is looking forward to the plan. The group chat that leads into the plan…” – Jordana (07:50)
• On Spotify Wrapped Exposing Self:
  • “It would be more embarrassing if you knew how many times you looked at your own Instagram story.” – Jared (30:22)
• On Gender & Success Post-Breakup:
  • “When women do it, it's said out loud and everyone’s like, cool with it... I’m not crying for Braxton, but men in this world… are hearing the cheering…” – Jared (41:55)
• On Breakup Etiquette:
  • “Make it math for him.” – Jared (57:23)
• On Merging Lives:
  • “If I was unsure of the relationship, I’m not joining your Prime account.” – Jared (64:19)

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Episode Flow & Tone

The episode is characteristically playful, honest, and reflective, packed with personal anecdotes, pop culture observations, and thoughtful debate over modern dating standards. The hosts maintain their trademark banter and sarcasm, frequently poking fun at each other and themselves while always drilling down into the subtleties behind every relationship norm or red flag.

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Conclusion

From etiquette around post-breakup finances to the red flags of never seeing a partner’s apartment, the U Up? hosts blend real-world advice with comedic takes—making this episode both entertaining and informative for anyone navigating dating, breakups, and the many in-between moments of modern love.

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Transcript

[Jared Freid]

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[Jordana Abraham]

How long are you looking? Shoulder length?

[Jared Freid]

A little bit shoulder. You know, I just want a bob. So when I blow dry it, it does have a different. It looks nice, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

But then you put the hat on. It doesn't that.

[Jared Freid]

Well, the hat is supposed to like mat it down a little bit. I get a little poofy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Also, this is where I performed last night in your.

[Jordana Abraham]

You went to Long Beach?

[Jared Freid]

I went to Long beach last night. Oh, Bolli's, Barelli's, Shout out, Borelli's Great bar Pub.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that the Christmas bar?

[Jared Freid]

It is.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. And Mike's parents came one year.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah. So shout out. Little plug city.

[Jordana Abraham]

So you went all the way out to Long island and yet I didn't get a. I didn't get a text.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

Hello and welcome U podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[Jared Freid]

And I am Jared Freed. It's so good to be back here in studio with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? What's the apps?

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm good. I went on like a girls trip retreat upstate last weekend.

[Jared Freid]

Girls trip.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Women love a cozy weekend.

[Jordana Abraham]

It was a cozy, lovely girls trip.

[Jared Freid]

It is something about a lady going to a cabin and what slippers was there a PJ Night pillow.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, we watched a movie. We watched that new Adam Sandler George Clooney movie.

[Jared Freid]

How was it? What's your review? It's called Stanley or Ricky Bob. It's called J J Alexander.

[Jordana Abraham]

J Something.

[Jared Freid]

J. Kelly.

[Jordana Abraham]

J. Kelly.

[Jared Freid]

J. Kelly.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

It's one of those movies that I see and I'm like, well, it started with like a 20 if I need to live and learn and love again.

[Jordana Abraham]

It started with like a 20 minute debate between all of us of like, is George Clooney still hot?

[Jared Freid]

Stop it. If George Clooney is not hot.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, he's 64. He's 64.

[Jared Freid]

Monster.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's 64.

[Jared Freid]

So obviously, like, who is on the side of George Clooney's not hot? I'm angry.

[Jordana Abraham]

I didn't. Okay. I didn't say he's not hot. I just did say there are certain scenes where you're like, oh, you could. He looks kind of old.

[Jared Freid]

Jordan is like. He's no. Brendan Fraser.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's no. He has no. Like, he hasn't. He's quite that. Well, no, for. He is like. I mean, it's hard to compare. Yeah, he is like, okay, Objectively, as a 64 year old man, very hot.

[Jared Freid]

I'd love to put him in a lineup with other 64 year old men.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I'm. Of course, yeah. But he's also.

[Jared Freid]

Bathing suit.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's also got like, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars probably.

[Jared Freid]

Well, the money matters. We're talking more about George Clooney on our YouTube exclusive. We talk. If you go on YouTube, we do a whole thing about Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift and George Clooney. There's a whole discussion of this on YouTube. If you want more of this fun convo on George Clooney. But so you think he's hot. So it starts with 20 minutes of yes. We're not watching the movie, so. Good way to start a movie.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? We're, you know, kind of just talking amongst ourselves. It was. I thought it was pretty good. I wasn't sure, like, what it was trying to be, if it was trying to be, like, funny or if it was trying to be serious. It was one of those where, like, it's almost like the music is making it seem like it's trying to be like one of those, like whimsical romantic comedies.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

But the dialogue is not like fully matching that.

[Jared Freid]

And it's Adam Sandler, George Clooney, I think Laura Dern. Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

I didn't finish it. I went to sleep. But it was good. So it wasn't bad.

[Jared Freid]

One movie night. And then what do we.

[Jordana Abraham]

That was night two.

[Jared Freid]

It was only two nights.

[Jordana Abraham]

Two nights there was a sound bath.

[Jared Freid]

So someone goes, yeah, you're like in a room.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're laying down, you're doing.

[Jared Freid]

Doing what?

[Jordana Abraham]

You're like, you're listening to the sounds. There's someone. The other like sound bowls.

[Jared Freid]

So you hire someone who has all the.

[Jordana Abraham]

The. Well, it's at the resort.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, so this is a resort.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is kind of. I guess it's a. Yeah, it's called the. The Chat Wall Lodge. I think they have one in the city. 2. They have one in the city and then one in upstate New York.

[Jared Freid]

How many women?

[Jordana Abraham]

Seven.

[Jared Freid]

So seven women. Let's. Let's go to a cabin. We need it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

We need just cozy weekend away from the spouses and the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Babies in the, you know, hullabaloo.

[Jordana Abraham]

And easy because you're driving. So everyone can leave and come when they want.

[Jared Freid]

And you get there Friday.

[Jordana Abraham]

Get there Friday and Friday.

[Jared Freid]

Night. Night one. What's for dinner?

[Jordana Abraham]

So it's. It includes. The food is included, but there's like a. It's really. The service was incredible, so I would like to like. Definitely worse. Yeah, the service was really, really good. The food was very good too. My new. I've been relatively pregnancy symptom free.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Except for this past week when I've discovered I have a very bad acid reflux.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

So the first night was not great for me. Well, I was sharing a room with Sammy.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. Who snores.

[Jordana Abraham]

Who snores? But I have, like, an extreme. I don't know if you can hear it. Probably can. The. My. I have a cold also.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

So everyone's like, oh, you stay with Sammy because you guys will be like, just keeping each other up all night, blowing your noses and snoring and doing all that.

[Jared Freid]

A sound bath of its own.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. A disgusting sound bath of me and Sammy sleeping. Yes, basically. And then I threw up the first night. They gave us.

[Jared Freid]

Stuck in the snow.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. That's.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that was basically the.

[Jordana Abraham]

The sound bath of our room.

[Jared Freid]

And.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, that was the first night.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

We had dinner. They gave us s'. Mores. We made. We had a fire pit around the, like, little lodge thing we did. So we tried to make those. And then I threw it all up. Okay. Like an hour later. So that was fun.

[Jared Freid]

It was like college all over again.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Basically we're. Right. We're back. Yeah, we're back. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And then what's the, like, sound bath. So sound bath. You wake up straight to the sound bath. Is there a workout?

[Jordana Abraham]

10:30. I mean, you could work out. I didn't.

[Jared Freid]

I woke up.

[Jordana Abraham]

I woke up. Too late for that.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I mean, listen, breakfast. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, Breakfast, sound bath, massage everyone.

[Jared Freid]

Seven women in a row, you know?

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, they came to the, like, lodge thing that we were at, so they set up. And then, like, if you weren't going, you were watching tv. We were a lot of watching the Diddy documentary. Some light. Some. Some light. Really light stuff. Yeah. The Reckoning. Yes. That was the theme of the weekend. If you weren't, if you weren't doing the sound bath or getting a massage. You were analyzing the, the, the diddy.

[Jared Freid]

The ditty of it all.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes, yes. And getting into that document cuz it was just playing like on repeat.

[Jared Freid]

This trip sounds like a lot of laughs.

[Jordana Abraham]

It was fun.

[Jared Freid]

I'm sure it was fun. Seven friends. What? You know, you guys could be doing anything.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And there like it's like kind of a cozy cabin dinner situation.

[Jared Freid]

This is a mental health thing. You ask people who are like, you know, feeling lonely right now, it's getting cold. You know, they're not really, you know, reach out to some friends. Let's make a plan. Make a plan. Like you know half of the, the beauty of a plan with friends is looking forward to the plan. The group chat that leads into the plan. Like this isn't just two days away with friends. This is, this is a month of wait and good. I'm so excited to see you all. And then you know, the month after. Can you believe this? And stories and jokes. So yeah. If I was someone. Yeah, that's great. I'm happy you guys did that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, it was very, it was very nice. How was your, how was your weekend? How's your, how's your new apartment?

[Jared Freid]

Apartment, I mean is beautiful. V came down and taped all the moving. If you go on YouTube you can watch it. We're already. Well now we'll have week two. We did behind the scenes from Flor, Fort Lauderdale and Miami. We actually do a tour of my parents house.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh wow.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's your 20,000 subscriber. Should get that on the, the U up YouTube too.

[Jared Freid]

That's on my Patreon. You're going to have to pay to see my parents place and we got interviews with my parents. It's like we're really, you know, making a push here.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did you make it like cribs?

[Jared Freid]

We did, we did a little bit. I walked in, I was like welcome to my crib. This is where the magic happens.

[Jordana Abraham]

All the lines. I wish they still lived in your childhood home. Would have loved to see your childhood room.

[Jared Freid]

My God. Oh my mom then starts taking pictures and it's like this is Jared then going is this Harry? Like she doesn't even know the differ.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you guys, you guys look alike.

[Jared Freid]

A little bit enough. Harry was a cute baby. I was a monster. So then you know, we, you know the how the place is great but I've been here. I, I, I've Been kind of on the road. I'm on the second leg of this road stint. I came here and then I went to Detroit, Columbus and Chicago. I got to say, I was in Detroit. I saw family there. It was like amazing. Like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh yeah, I saw that with your, my grand uncles.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, my, that was cute. They're like 80 and 90 years old.

[Jordana Abraham]

Who paid?

[Jared Freid]

Oh, they did.

[Jordana Abraham]

They did.

[Jared Freid]

I think I insulted, I did have that thought. I actually thought of you. I was like, I'm like, do I put down the car?

[Jordana Abraham]

Did you offer?

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

You didn't even offer?

[Jared Freid]

No, no, no, no, no. I, I didn't know what the, why would I. I don't know. I didn't want to insult them.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't know what is the. I'm trying to think though. There's like, okay, there's like an age where like, it's insult and where like they haven't worked in 40 years.

[Jared Freid]

I know, I know. Listen, I, I, I thought about that. I didn't know what to do.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did they split it?

[Jared Freid]

No, my, my one uncle.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just the, the head honcho uncle.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, it was, it's weird cuz my grandfather was the oldest, so like my grandfather was 10 years older than his younger sibling and then 20 years older than his youngest sibling, so.

[Jordana Abraham]

20 years. Wow.

[Jared Freid]

It's a whole weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

Same parents, same parents, 20 years apart.

[Jared Freid]

So that's, it's a, it's a, it's a very specific kind of situation. You know, I, you're almost the kid's.

[Jordana Abraham]

Father if you're 20 years older than. Right.

[Jared Freid]

And my grandfather kind of was. Felt that role like he was very much in the community too. Like, you know, like that area. My grandfather was like president of his temple, so like everyone kind of knew him. There's like, you know, so there's a lot of connections and it's just very sweet to like. Well, the etiquette rules. Whoever, Whoever planned it, pays it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Who planned it?

[Jared Freid]

They planned it.

[Jordana Abraham]

The two of them planned it.

[Jared Freid]

They, they were really, they. I like hanging out with them, but I, I think, you know, there's a connection to my grandfather. I think when they're around me, they feel a connection to my grandfather. You know, they're very close, the brothers.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. So can I, I have a question?

[Jared Freid]

Sure.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's say at the end of it, they were like, Jared, you got this one, right?

[Jared Freid]

I would be.

[Jordana Abraham]

Would you like, would you, how would you feel?

[Jared Freid]

I feel fine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Did you tell everyone?

[Jared Freid]

I would tell everyone. I would go to my mom and I'd Be like, can you? And my mom would go, you made him pay. She'd come back at them and yell at them. Yeah, I did have a moment. You're right. Because I was like, they are older in this thing. And like I make, you know, some money.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right, right there Becomes an age where you're like so old that you're like a child.

[Jared Freid]

Yes. Yeah, well that's, that's true too because I hung out with them and then like, you know, you go to the cousins and the aunts and they're all like, you. You went to lunch. I was guys. And I'm like, they were great. I was like. Cuz they've heard all the stories 17 times. I'm getting first run at these stories. So like even them, I'm doing all my bits, you know, like we're all great audiences for each other. Like there's a lot. It was, it was really like a beautiful thing to see them and, and I have a lot of connection to that area. You know, I used to. My whole life growing up, I used to visit to Detroit and, and then I went to Chicago. I did an event there and I did. Columbus was great too. And yeah, I'm on the road. If you're in Orlando or San Diego, that's kind of how I close out my year. Then we're not adding a show to Philadelphia, so that's sold out already, boss. Baltimore, I gotta show there. Boston, there's a second show added. New York, I'd like to get that to a second show. We're getting towards. So if you're looking to make Valentine's Day plan, if you need a Valentine's Day gift, my show is like a.

[Jordana Abraham]

Pretty good day before Valentine's Day.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's the day before and.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, nice.

[Jared Freid]

And then I'm in Toronto for Valentine's Day. So like good girls.

[Jordana Abraham]

Good. Galentine's Day too.

[Jared Freid]

Great. Galentine's Day. I talk a lot about being single and 40 and jared free dot com. But you know, and then I came back here and it's, it is like it's New York City December, but I.

[Jordana Abraham]

Feel like it's a little cold for December.

[Jared Freid]

It feels like. Yeah, it is like I, I, Yeah. Right. It feels very January. February.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Usually like early December. You can still feel your hands if they're not in a glove.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. You can do T shirt with a big coat.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

In December. And that's not what's going on.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not right now.

[Jared Freid]

Bundled layers. But we. It is the holiday season, Jordana.

[Jordana Abraham]

Indeed.

[Jared Freid]

Special Sponsorship. And I. I like the sponsorship. This is like, one. You know, I like that we're doing something that, like, integrates with us getting gifts.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. And it's something. A product we love.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I love UberEats.

[Jared Freid]

As far as Uber is concerned, I'm an Uber guy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And now they're sponsoring the podcast and we're doing Uber Eats, which you love.

[Jordana Abraham]

Uber Eats.

[Jared Freid]

You're a big fan. I'm a big fan.

[Jordana Abraham]

Huge UberEats person. And I also love that it's not just food.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That you're getting to. I mean, like, I've used it a lot for that, but I've also recently discovered that you can get gifts on it.

[Jared Freid]

If you're In a pinch, UberEats is there for you.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is the time for being in a gifting pinch.

[Jared Freid]

Listen. And nothing feels better than getting a gift done. I, you know, I ordered.

[Jordana Abraham]

Crossing it off the list.

[Jared Freid]

So when I ordered the Uber Eats for you, I watched the whole process. The pickup, the buying, the purchase, the. The delivery. So, like, it all happened before my eyes while I'm doing other things.

[Jordana Abraham]

Don't have to lift a finger.

[Jared Freid]

That's right. You know, last week we talked about, like, what to gift a partner. What's a get? You know, and we're two friends. We want to gift each other. We did.

[Jordana Abraham]

Of course.

[Jared Freid]

Exchange.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

We had a rule. We're like, okay, only a certain amount of money.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

And let's give each other gifts. Okay. That's my gift from me to you from Jared. Okay, well, you're gonn doing.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, it's a couple things.

[Jared Freid]

There's a. There's a lot of things in there because I wanted to make sure that your. Your. What do they call? Maternity leave?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

I. You got to be comfy, cozy in your home. So let. We did a lot of spa essentials to get.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, wow. I love a good spa.

[Jared Freid]

You do love my home spa. You're a spa galley.

[Jordana Abraham]

Huge spa person. Let's see what I got.

[Jared Freid]

So I want to make sure.

[Jordana Abraham]

And this is a good, great brand.

[Jared Freid]

Well, it's from Sephora. They basically the fact that I can go. I can send someone to Sephora, and I don't have to walk in and be like, hey, I'm an idiot. I don't know anything. Someone else can do it for me.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is a great gift. I get to try all of the different body washes.

[Jared Freid]

That's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

We're going to be very clean in the house.

[Jared Freid]

Clean pigs up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And this is a Great. It's a great brand. It's also like super like organic and healthy.

[Jared Freid]

Love it.

[Jordana Abraham]

And all that from Sephora stuff and from Sephora.

[Jared Freid]

So I know that you know it's good.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. Which is on Ubereats if you want to sense Sephora is such a great. You want me to get a woman a gift? Literally, like there is no place where anyone can find something.

[Jared Freid]

You could literally go on UberEats. Close your eye. Go to Sephora, then close your eyes and just scroll the phone and hit a brand and they. Or hit an item and it would be good.

[Jordana Abraham]

And I've got the body cream. Wow.

[Jared Freid]

There you go. Body cream.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love it. This is like actually all this is. I'm pretty impressed with your gift giving abilities.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you.

[Jordana Abraham]

I thought it was going to be. I thought it was going to be more like bogo baby kind of stuff.

[Jared Freid]

No, no, we did. We did our gag gifts. I listen one time I did a like a gift exchange with my brother and he was so bad at it that it made me so annoyed. I was like. His was like. He got me like a sweatshirt I already had and I was like, what the fuck?

[Jordana Abraham]

Like in Will. It's like in old school when Will Ferrell gives them the four year old like the blender that he got from his wedding and they were like, oh, like, oh, you. I like I gave you that. And he goes like, you gave me this model. He's like, no, I gave you that exact, exact one. And I've got a body scrub.

[Jared Freid]

I've got one more thing in there.

[Jordana Abraham]

Hair mask.

[Jared Freid]

Hair mask. Yes, that's right. There's one more thing, I think a face mask.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wow, you really went to town. Look at this.

[Jared Freid]

I went all.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, there's nothing great better than getting just mult. Oh, wow. A real deep mask gift set.

[Jared Freid]

That's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I am so excited to just like get on these.

[Jared Freid]

I do not.

[Jordana Abraham]

You do not.

[Jared Freid]

This is a great thoughtful watching on YouTube. You can see this is what you could be in for.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

All season long. Yeah. I like a. I like a poo poo platter of gifts.

[Jordana Abraham]

Happy Hanukkah. This.

[Jared Freid]

Happy Hanukkah to you and thank you Uber Eats for. I love it me out. Okay, so now it's my.

[Jordana Abraham]

I got a whole. And I. I'm. This is the first non gag gift I think I've ever gotten from you.

[Jared Freid]

There was gonna be another gag, but they were like only send them to one place. So I was like, let's go.

[Jordana Abraham]

Seriously.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. So here's my gift. Beautifully wrapped. Jordana, this is.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, me.

[Jared Freid]

No, I can get it without the scissors. Okay, here we go.

[Jordana Abraham]

You think. You think using scissors on a gift is unmasculine? Is that a nick?

[Jared Freid]

No. Yeah. I would never, like. I would never use this. No. I'm gonna rip it open, ladies.

[Jordana Abraham]

One more thing to be judgmental about.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, look at that. A massager.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, you were. You were recently talking about all your flights.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

And how they're kind of catching up to you.

[Jared Freid]

They are.

[Jordana Abraham]

As you get older. And I was like, this is a portable. It's a portable. Like, I don't.

[Jared Freid]

So I can bring it on a plane.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like a thera. It's like a theragun kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can bring it on if you're feeling. You know that if you're feeling that 40, almost 41 is catching up to you.

[Jared Freid]

Don't age.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just get right into that neck.

[Jared Freid]

This is great. Oh, I love this. I've been having a little. Little stiffness. I like this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, good.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, thank you so much. This is great. Yeah. Muscle knots and target fatigue in seconds.

[Jordana Abraham]

Have you ever used one of those?

[Jared Freid]

No, I don't even think about. Use it once where they have them at, like, Barry's boot camp, just sitting out and then I just, like, play with it. But I've been really looking forward to getting these, you know, in my home.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Or if you have a woman over, you can ask her to do it to you.

[Jared Freid]

That's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

That's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

M and I have one. And we'll be like, yes. And we'll be like, all right, like, if. If I. If I do you for like a few minutes, will you do me? Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Hey, Mike, I'm going to go dress up as Ronnie, and then I need you to get that.

[Jordana Abraham]

The massager out, the hypervolt out and get into it. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Well, this is great. Thank you. And where did you get this from?

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

You sent.

[Jordana Abraham]

I got this from Best Buy.

[Jared Freid]

So you can send Uber Eats to Best Buy. Sephora. What a wonderful easy.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's the thing.

[Jared Freid]

We love when we can make these holidays because I watch people on Christmas Eve. That's my favorite activity. I sit outside of a department store with my beach chair and I watch people rush to go get their last minute gifts. And if they had UberEats, they wouldn't have to do that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Or if you're dating someone, they got. They got you something. You're like, oh, my God, I didn't get them something, right? This. You could solve the problem. Send it right to their apartment.

[Jared Freid]

This took me 15 minutes. Yeah, so I mean, talk about awesome.

[Jordana Abraham]

So you've been thinking about it for a while, right?

[Jared Freid]

Fifteen minutes after I decided on all the things I wanted to to get you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Exactly.

[Jared Freid]

Thanks again to Uber Eats for helping us be better gifters this holiday season. If you're heading to a holiday party, don't show up empty handed. Get party essentials or host gifts delivered in as little as 25 minutes to your door or theirs. With UberEats plus with the send as a gift feature at checkout, you can add a festive video from a lineup of holiday helpers. Megan the Stallion, the Jonas Brothers, Jake, Shane or Trey Tracy Ellis Ross Procrastinators. Rejoice. You are about to look like a gifting hero. Start gifting now with Uber Eats C app for details. Okay, let's do the show.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love it. Let's get into it.

[Jared Freid]

I'm so excited about my gift.

[Jordana Abraham]

Here's the thing about being a great gift giver. When you find something truly perfect for everyone on your list, you almost don't want to give it away. That's the temptation. When I shop with Quince, I can get something for everyone, including myself. I love Quince. They have the perfect gifts because they're one really high quality and also extremely well priced. So you're getting someone like a great gift that feels like luxurious, that feels well thought out. But also you're not like paying an exorbitant amount of money for it. Which really just makes the whole thing much better. Like like I love their cashmere sweaters. They are amazing. Even their socks are like super high quality at an amazing price point. Quince pretty much has your whole list covered. Mongolian cashmere sweaters for $50. Denim that goes with everything. Silk tops and skirts for when you need to look put together. Cashmere beanies and scarves and down jackets that actually keep you warm. Perfect for gifting or upgrading your own wardrobe. And because they partner directly with top tier factories, cutting out the middleman and markups, Quince is able to pass the savings straight to you. Delivering luxury quality pieces at half price of similar brands.

[Jared Freid]

Fine gifts so good you'll want to keep them with quints. Go to quints.com UUP for free shipping.

[Jordana Abraham]

On your order and 365 day returns.

[Jared Freid]

Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com u-p to get.

[Jordana Abraham]

Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com UUP you know that rush you get when you find something cute and it's on sale? That's the thrill of the deal. And Rakuten takes it to another level. I am a huge Rakuten user. I have the little widgets installed on my phone, on my computer, and to me it's like a no brainer. Like, why wouldn't you? Everything I buy, I check Rakuten to see is there a percent that they're giving back on anything that I'm.

[Jared Freid]

I'm using it because of you. It is honestly so easy, so wonderful. And it's like when you start using it, you think of all the days.

[Jordana Abraham]

That you didn't use it right and.

[Jared Freid]

You get mad at yourself.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. There's no reason not to use it.

[Jared Freid]

They partner with stores like Target, Bloomingdale, Sephora, Best Buy to bring you the best deal. And with the holidays coming up, you can maximize your savings even more by stacking cash back on top of the holiday sales. Like, if your favorite store is having a sale for 20% off and Rakuten has 15% cash back, you can stack the two deals together.

[Jordana Abraham]

And that is how you live a fiscally responsible life.

[Jared Freid]

So make sure you don't miss the highest cash back rates of the year with the best holiday sales. And keep an eye out for Rakuten weekly. Big deal reveals where one great store offers high cash back for one day only. Membership is free and it's super easy to sign up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Download the free Rakuten app or go to rakuten.com to start saving today. That's R a K u t e n rakuten.com Join today for a new member. Welcome bonus after minimum qualifying purchases, terms and conditions apply.

[Jared Freid]

All right, let's start the show.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

We have an icky or picky love and.

[Jordana Abraham]

Icky or picky?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. You guys are dating someone, they do something. Is it an ick or are you just being picky?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Are you being a little bit hard on the person? Judgy.

[Jordana Abraham]

I agree. If they use a scissor to unwrap their gift, is that a reason to break up with someone?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

The.

[Jared Freid]

The ickiness would. Or the. The part that would look bad, I think on me is trying to open it realizing you can't. I mean, like, yeah, give me the scissors. It's giving up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It's the real loser move.

[Jordana Abraham]

But then what if you, you know, have you ever seen, like, someone try to use, like, their teeth or something?

[Jared Freid]

Like using your teeth as an adult.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's a tough one.

[Jared Freid]

Real tough one. Like a. Like an adult again, like, you are childlike.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, right. Just give it to me. I'm going to put the bottle cap in my mouth and try to squeeze it like a dog. Okay. Hi, Jared and Joanna. Huge fan of the pod. Started listening after a breakup in 2021, and I've looked forward to every episode since. Also a subscriber.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love it. I have an icky or picky for you guys. My boyfriend, 37, and I, 31, have been dating for close to three years. He occasionally listens to the pod, so he might hear this. Hello, if you're listening.

[Jared Freid]

Thanks for occasionally listening.

[Jordana Abraham]

We love all of our occasional. We forgot to. We forgot to thank the occasional listeners in the Spotify rap video.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

If you're in the top.

[Jared Freid]

All your boyfriends who listen weirdly in the background like a serial killer.

[Jordana Abraham]

We forgot to save the listeners who were in the top. 96% of listeners.

[Jared Freid]

All right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Since Spotify released everyone's 2025 wrap up, we were comparing ours. I spent a lot of time driving, so I use Spotify constantly, usually listening to podcasts or some version of country music. My listening time was around 25,000 minutes. His was about 6,000. But what really stood out, his top song was his own song on Spotify. For context.

[Jared Freid]

Tough spot.

[Jordana Abraham]

He picked up guitar. There's nothing. That's why I never share my Spotify wrapped with anyone.

[Jared Freid]

I shared mine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Never do it. It's too embarrassing.

[Jared Freid]

Is it really?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Is it embarrassing if it's like All Hamilton for me? If it's out of character, it's like a little embarrassing, right.

[Jared Freid]

If it doesn't match you by. If it's more than one standard deviation away from you, who we think you are, right. Then it's embarrassing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Then it's like, why are you, like, so shady almost?

[Jared Freid]

What do we not know about you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like that scene in Office Space. It's the first scene of the movie where he's listening to, like, hardcore rap. And then like a black guy goes and walks by his car and he puts up the window. He's like this like, nerdy looking guy and you. And that's like the. That's like the. The feeling of Spotify rap being out there when it's like, who would know? You know?

[Jordana Abraham]

Exactly. That's why I'm like, I don't know. I'm. I'm very insecure about my Spotify rap.

[Jared Freid]

Mine Was like, Morgan Wallen, I like country when I cancel you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or is that, is he fine?

[Jared Freid]

I mean, he had, he literally at one point, I think had like the half of the top 25 songs. Like, I like, he's like very popular, but I, I like had him.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're a basic.

[Jared Freid]

I'm totally basic. A lot of country. Shaboozi.

[Jordana Abraham]

What age did it say you were?

[Jared Freid]

I didn't get to that part. I didn't really.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, you didn't. Okay. You didn't click enough.

[Jared Freid]

Like I said, got to that and I, it didn't interest me. Like, everyone does the age thing and.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm like, well, that's why they did it. Because everyone's like, it feels personal, you know? Right.

[Jared Freid]

Look at me. I, I, there's like the woman whose age is like old. Oh, okay. She can brag. I'm an old soul. I'm like, I listen to fish, you know, Like, I get it. I know the, I know the person who has the old, you know the tropes. I know the tropes.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's all yes.

[Jared Freid]

I'm just becoming too cynical in my you age.

[Jordana Abraham]

No. Yeah. Okay. So for context, he picked up guitar during COVID while people had extra time. He has a musical background as an advanced piano player, wrote a song, produced it, and now has about 6, 000 plays. They're all his probably. He performed it in a local talent show and got second place and has played a few gigs. Most of his music career was before we met. His interest in music has declined. His other hobbies like hockey, took priority. I'm trying to not be judgmental, but listening to your own song enough to make it your number one of the year feels a little strange and gave me an icked out feeling. I jokingly gave him a hard time and he was unfazed. A few years ago, he also made himself his phone screensaver with a picture I had taken. Interesting. I found that odd, gave him a hard time, and he changed it to a picture of me which has remained ever since. Ultimately, we have a great relationship, so I'll just call this a quirk. But what do you guys think? Does it seem icky that his top Spotify song of the year is his own? Or am I just being pick signed wrapped up over a 2025 wrap up batch? P.S. my 2025 song of the year was what I Want by Morgan Wallen and Tate McRae.

[Jared Freid]

I think that all of our like I, I, I can I, I, I feel for this guy because I, it's like a bad look, but also, like.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't think it's that bad.

[Jared Freid]

I don't think it's that bad. I, I think she's, I, the like, like, because she wrote in about it, I had to think about it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, if I saw this, I would go, oh, that's funny. And also, he just not like a big user of the app. I mean, it seems 6,000 minutes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not that many.

[Jared Freid]

It's not that many. Especially when you think of like a song a minute or what. I, I don't know. I'm just trying to like, I was like, taking, I, I took his side a lot because this is a person. She's like, he has an interest in music that's gone down over time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Because music is a young person's game. I'm sure this guy dreamed of being a musician and he, and, and all. Also, he has a talent. He's probably got a little bit of. He's probably an overconfident guy. He likes himself a little bit more than maybe she'd like. He's got his himself as a screensaver.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

That's fine. I think you have to like yourself a little bit more than you than other, you know, than people would want to hear. If you're a musician and do a solo act. I think that takes a certain amount of, like, confidence. Right. So I, I, I saw this, I felt bad for him because it's like, like, this is his dream kind of like, I, I know she's like other interests. No, no. He has a talent that he worked at for a long time that he can't really do much with that.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's always thought like, what if?

[Jared Freid]

Right. And I'm sure, you know, if I looked at, I kept thinking like, you know, everyone does the joke of like, the Spotify rap for other things. Like, it would be more embarrassing if you knew how many times you looked at your own, own Instagram story.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I kept thinking of your own Instagram story as like the version of having your own music because you're producing it yourself. And your own Instagram story. If she saw how many times she looked at her Instagram stories, she'd be a little, It'd be a little embarrassing for her too.

[Jordana Abraham]

Totally. And also, I, I'm always looking at our Spotify comments.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So I'm constantly searching for this podcast, all the podcasts that I do. Like, you're, if you're working on a craft of some sort of, you're either.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, it's a way nicer way to look at it than I even would think of it. Because I Look at my. How many times have I watched my own YouTube videos? I was like, well, you're.

[Jordana Abraham]

What? You're watching them not because you're like, oh, my God, this is the best video ever. Ever. Like, watch it. You're kind of like, oh, like, let me see what I did. Let me see how I can improve next time if I'm making this even better. And I would imagine some of it is that to me, this is not that bad. Especially since, again, this is a Spotify thing. It's, like, a little private, right? It's like a. You're not.

[Jared Freid]

I think you didn't expect this big showing like this. That's why the Spotify wrapped is genius, right? Because it's like a look at me on something that you're really, like, alone on. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

That no one else revealed, even to you. Exactly. You know, and so I think if he was like, if this would be a different email if she was like, every time we get in the car, he only plays his own one song that he has on Spotify over and over again. He, like, will not let us listen. That's. That's, like Justin Timberlake territory to me, which is, like, something that I've said that's very irritating. I. I almost think it's a bigger red flag that his picture is himself.

[Jared Freid]

Why?

[Jordana Abraham]

Just because it's like. I don't know. It's. It again. It feels like. That feels like a little, more, like, egotistical than this. That's, like, public.

[Jared Freid]

It's like, which picture do you choose?

[Jordana Abraham]

What's on your phone? What is on a single man's phone? Background?

[Jared Freid]

So I actually thought about this the other day. This is my old view for my old apartment. That's how long it's been since I've changed it in Harlem.

[Jordana Abraham]

That makes sense.

[Jared Freid]

I haven't been to this apartment in seven years. Yeah, that's weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

Maybe time to change it.

[Jared Freid]

It is time to change. I actually thought it's time to change it. I get a picture of you, me, on the podcast with you up in the background. That would be pretty. No, My first thought was, I want to change it to Delray Beach. I want to, like, have it.

[Jordana Abraham]

You should. A scenery thing is great. Joe, what's your. What's your. Your single guy? What's your background? Lady Gaga.

[Jared Freid]

Lady Gaga.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Also.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Would you ever have yourself.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's a little weird, right?

[Jared Freid]

As my mom.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, that's. I have like your significant.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's be nothing weirder than like my cats. Right. Mine's my. Mine's my dog.

[Jared Freid]

Yours is your dog. Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

But I think they're.

[Jared Freid]

What's yours? A view.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, a view. Makes sense. Creepy. So it's a view that's important to you?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I think there's nothing. There'd be nothing weirder as like a man with a full family to have a picture of himself as his phone background.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Yeah, that is. I. I guess that's the one more troublesome.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, he changed it to a picture of her, which is like sweet.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But his first instinct right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Was here's a picture of me.

[Jared Freid]

Let me put the most.

[Jordana Abraham]

Looking great. What do I want to look at all day? Picture of me. So I think, yeah, obviously there is an element of this of like a little bit of a self centeredness. But I don't think it's anything in deal breaker territory.

[Jared Freid]

So you know, is. Is it a turn off for men to like themselves?

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I don't think it's a turn off for anyone to like themselves. I think it's more like, do you like, are you too into yourself or are you like into yourself more than you're into other things or other people? Or like are you too self centered? The Justin Timberlake thing does stick out to me as someone who's like like so self centered that like everything is made about them. And I think that's where it gets.

[Jared Freid]

Icky to me what we see to me from him. Right. Yeah, I guess I was thinking about this a lot. Do like what support people get like this guy. His music. If it was all like it puts. Yeah, I think it's cool.

[Jordana Abraham]

He won a contest. It's a song. He probably very proud of it. Maybe he doesn't when he. Whenever he's. Maybe he's really only using Spotify to listen to the song.

[Jared Freid]

This made me think of and maybe it's not related but I did want to get your opinion on it. Alex Earl ended things with her boyfriend.

[Jordana Abraham]

I saw that.

[Jared Freid]

Her boyfriend Braxton Barrios. You and I saw them.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Saw them sat next to them on the beach.

[Jordana Abraham]

They were pray. They were frolicking around on the beach taking pictures of each other.

[Jared Freid]

Can. When we were brought there by Spotify.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Spotify brought us toucan to do a. A panel. It's one of the only panels I've ever done. Not a lot of straight men get invited to do panels. They're billionaires. Every woman's done you and Jeff Bezos.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So have you. You've done panels?

[Jordana Abraham]

I've done panels, yeah. Right.

[Jared Freid]

This is like what women in New York do. Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't really love panels, but I'll do.

[Jared Freid]

I think they're doing nothing. Makes me eye roll more than a.

[Jordana Abraham]

I saw a tweet once that's like, no one has ever learned anything from a panel.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

But that was pretty accur.

[Jared Freid]

People who go to panels, people who do the panels. I think it's all a bunch of.

[Jordana Abraham]

But thank you for very much for inviting us.

[Jared Freid]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

We were in Spotify for this and we're.

[Jared Freid]

When you do them, you do feel like you're like, I do have something to say about this. You do feel.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's almost for the people doing the panel to feel like.

[Jared Freid]

So. No. So we're in can for this panel and we're.

[Jordana Abraham]

We go to the beach because we don't have anything until later that day.

[Jared Freid]

We literally had nothing to do.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

And there's a couple, like, again, like, kind of frolicking around the beach and.

[Jared Freid]

We kind of sitting directly.

[Jordana Abraham]

They're seated directly next to us and.

[Jared Freid]

They'Re kind of like. He specifically was like, kind of trying to talk to us.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, yeah. He was like, how was that iced coffee? He was asking about the iced coffee.

[Jared Freid]

And it kind of felt. And we're like, we're not talking to you.

[Jordana Abraham]

And strangers. Yes.

[Jared Freid]

These weirdos. And we were calling them the good looking couple.

[Jordana Abraham]

We call them hot couple.

[Jared Freid]

Hot cups.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

They were both very. I mean, you could. Everyone knows what they look like every. We didn't know who they were, which was like, apparent that when I told everyone. That's when I'm telling people this story about how we didn't know. Know that the hot couple next to us was Alex Earl and had no idea. And Braxton Barrios and I'd never even heard his name before this. They were like, you own a media company. That is so embarrassing. They were like, it's embarrassing for Jared too, but it's more embarrassing for you.

[Jared Freid]

I agree with that. Well, he played for the Miami Dolphins. My brother used to work with the Dolphins. So they knew each other from that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Or like, I had a connection to him. So I could have been like. Like, I could have said something along the lines of, like, my brother's name. Maybe they knew each other. You know what I mean? Like, there was something to start a conversation with. But we had them in the background of our pictures. Like, we were like taking selfies like, doing. I'm doing, like, we're in the back coffee here.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're in the background of their pictures.

[Jared Freid]

I'm in the background of their pictures, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

But it was funny because so the whole. The whole day, it was like, we were just referring them to them as hot couple. And then we go to a Spotify event that night, and I remember being like, like, Jared, hot couples here. They also got invited to this event and still had no idea who they were. We were like, oh, I guess hot couple made the invite list too, right? And then the next morning, I'm looking at Instagram stories from the event, and then I'm like, oh, this. That's Alex. Like, so, like, it came up on, like, the feed of, like, Instagram stories from the event. And I send you the thing. I'm like, we were sitting next to Alex. No idea what that was.

[Jared Freid]

And it's like, one of those things with, like, music. Like, I know the band name, but I don't know the. The players in the band, you know, so. But I was thinking, I. I've been watching kind of Tik Toks made about it. And so she ends it with Braxton.

[Jordana Abraham]

She ended it. Is that what you're seemingly.

[Jared Freid]

I. From my very low amount of information. I'm just saying, like, as someone who looks at the Internet.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

In my view, it was. She goes on Dancing the Stars, she ends things with him, but then they're not the kind of the. The thing that, like, makes me think. Because couples break up all the time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

It was the response. Kind of the weather that goes on around it, the support she was getting, and the things that were written in the comment section of, like, yes, she needed to move on. Bigger, better things. She's now trying to go from influencer to actual celebrity. It was a lot of that type of talk, Like, a lot of, like, go, girl. You know, like, you know, the audience. I don't think she's wrong for ending. Who knows? You know, I don't know what was going on.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It was just the. The tenor of the conversation, which made me think of this podcast and think of, like, something like this, where this guy is like, hey, this is my. Here's my dreams, and, you know, I want to write a song. And here it is. And it's like, ugh, I'm so turned off by him not being established or not having everything in order. And. And then you look at Alex Earl, who ends things with. And they're all saying, like, get away from him. She's on to the bigger, the better thing. And to relate it to, like, questions we get here about men not committing. You go, okay, well, when a man gets thrown away or gets tossed aside, it is the, the, the tenor and the conversation is all about that she's going to get with bigger, better, more rich, richer, richer, higher clout, higher clout value. You know, and it's like, you know, and I'm not saying that's, you know, I, I, you know, it got me in this, like, philosophical, like what, you know, we have so many.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're saying, like, that's okay, but it wouldn't be okay if you were like, yeah, he's on to hotter women.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

You can't say she was okay for that phase of success.

[Jared Freid]

Right. That's kind of what people were saying about her. If the conversation was, it was a man that ended it with a woman who, he was on the rise and she was just. Because Brax Barrios, his career is about to end. He's in the NFL, but he's like, at the end of his career. Careers in the NFL, last three years on average.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

He is about to be leaving his. What would be on average, his money making part of his life. Like, he may never make as much money as he's making now. I'm not saying he's a sad sack. I'm just saying in the relationship game, we live. The easy answer is always living in the punch up, punch down, down. Woman, man, man in charge. Dating woman, you know, is the victim.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

And when it switches and the audience doesn't switch with that, you know, when the audience doesn't keep to the rules that they were playing by, it kind of like it, it is one of those things that, like the, the lonely man epidemic. I don't really believe in that. I kind of believe in the human what are we doing here? Epidemic. Like the human identity epidemic. Like this identity play. Like, it's easy to go, well, oh, these, you know, these women have, you know, are getting left by these guys for prettier, hotter women. And then you, you go, well, they're, they get no time on their clock and everything. And then the minute this woman switch, everyone just like, says the same, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't think that's right. If that's. Again, we have no idea why they broke up.

[Jared Freid]

That was the reason. I'm talking about the audience.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do I look at, Do I what? I look at that also. Like, that's not, not, not, not nice.

[Jared Freid]

No one would ever say that in a breakup.

[Jordana Abraham]

What?

[Jared Freid]

No one would say I'm on the bigger and better. I was on dance. Well, no, no guy champion you.

[Jordana Abraham]

No guy would ever say, I think I'm more successful now and so I'm, I think I could do better.

[Jared Freid]

Exactly. Those words get put in those people's mouths.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, but I'm.

[Jordana Abraham]

But is there an element of truth to that, even if it's not like the explicit reason?

[Jared Freid]

Sure, maybe, but there's an element of truth to all of it. But I think when women do it, it's said out loud and everyone's like, cool with it. You know, like everyone was like cheering for her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm not, I'm not crying for Braxton Barrios. I'm just saying men in this world that you're dating that aren't Braxton Barrios are hearing these things and hearing the, the cheering that going on for the woman who's getting the. Going on to bigger, better things. And you know, when you talk about the guy who won't commit, it's like, well, he's not going to commit if he's not in a career that makes him feel good and, but almost and, and feel wanted and deserving of moving to the next level. I like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, are you implying that, is there an element of that if he's not going to commit because he thinks he could become much more successful and get someone better in that way?

[Jared Freid]

Think of it in two ways. You could think of it that way or you can think of it in the way of like, hey, I'm just trying to like, take care of myself and be a valuable person in the society.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And what people find valuable in a man is that I am a money making, good job having person who can control my life.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, maybe that's the crux of like why women are also open to want to settle down much quicker is because the thing that we're talking about there is like your hotness. Right. Which doesn't really change that, like a man could become much more successful.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And so could a woman, obviously. But like your general attractiveness is not, if anything is getting worse the older you get, you know, I mean, obviously. You know what I mean? Like, obviously not. Yeah. Your age, you're aging the long.

[Jared Freid]

Every day we're dying closer to death.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure. Yeah. And so I mean, under your, under your, you know, thought process here, it's like our incentive would be to get to commit earlier rather than later. Because if the male stock is rising and ours is like our. In this again, in this stereotypical way that people are evaluating women, which is based on their attractiveness.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

First at least.

[Jared Freid]

But I guess, I guess that's why the identity crisis comes in like where, where we're in a society where everyone's in the rat race, right. Everyone's trying to get to the next level level. And you know, your only way, you know, there's no like. And when women are saying I'm not going to like reach down to the level below me to bring them up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, I'm not going to date, you know, I, I date down, date down. You know, I'm going to, you know, Braxton Baros. Get out of here. I need George Clooney. You know, I'm just saying that's like I, I, I'm just like, I was thinking of like you, you know, you, you eat, eat the, you eat this soup, you know, like you. And I was looking at the comments, I was just like, man, you know, you can't like what, what would be the value of a guy for a guy to go, well, get married before I'm ready.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, for Braxton, maybe he should have married her a few years ago and then.

[Jared Freid]

Right. You know, locked maybe, you know, you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Never know which way it's gonna go.

[Jared Freid]

Right? You don't know. But I, I like just the cheer.

[Jordana Abraham]

You wait too long, right.

[Jared Freid]

I, I never thought of Braxton as a sad thing. I was thinking of like the guy who's just watching this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And like the comments to it. But I guess, you know, I sometimes you think in this world of dating, like there's only just horrific men and women trying to like, right. That are trying to find.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I see how you see that comments.

[Jared Freid]

And you go, well these are the horrific women who are just like the horrific men.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, I would agree with that. I also think, think though that like you see it anecdotally like a man who's gets divorced in his 50s and a woman who gets divorced in their 50s are looking at very different prospects.

[Jared Freid]

Right? No different. But the woman success being equal. Right. But again the pools, the pools being smaller or whatever, but the woman in her 50s is going, I'm going out with a guy who has his own money, who has, who I'm not supporting.

[Jordana Abraham]

And the guy is like, maybe I'll date a 30 year old. Right?

[Jared Freid]

So who's, who are we feeling, who.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are we feeling worse for? I don't know, like, I do think, you know what I mean? I don't think one person necessarily has it worse. Maybe it feels more socially acceptable to.

[Jared Freid]

Talk about the conversation to me. I was like. I was just like, this is gross.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. She needs better. I was like, what the. Do you know some woman in her sweats in Des Moines. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I kind of thought about that around like the Page Craig breakup.

[Jared Freid]

That. Well, similar conversation, the Paige Craig breakup, where now Craig is doing his best to look like a. You know, I mean, he's got clo. You know, betting in Kohl's, like. Like he, he was made out to be this. Like, I just want to like keep it slow in the south.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

And it's like he's in Kohl's. Like, the guy's doing okay. Great.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, but.

[Jordana Abraham]

But maybe her aspirations are higher than that.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm not someone who hasn't thought about that.

[Jared Freid]

Listen, it's. Right. I. I thought about it the whole. That was the whole conversation to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I thought she kind of acted like the quote, you know, the.

[Jordana Abraham]

The.

[Jared Freid]

The stereotypical male in that situation based on the way it was being fed to us. Like, he wants to settle down, she wants to, you know, I want to this bigger life.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And maybe she also wants to date more up.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Right. And then you go. And the. I. I guess I don't. I. I never fault the person. I felt the audience.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, the cheering that goes on because the audience is also the one that's writing to us, going, well, why won't these men commit?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I don't think it's something to cheer for in either direction. I don't think something to cheer for. He gotta. Look at this, look at this divorced dad. He's dating a 30 year old. Like, I don't think that's something to cheer for either.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, no, I'm with you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Some people might. Right.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's more of the audience for me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I keep an eye on all. I'm watching the movies. I'm watching the whole thing. And Craig and you know, like, I never cry for the two hot people breaking up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? They'll be fine.

[Jared Freid]

They'll be fine. Yes, but it's the people cheering or finding themselves or the something that they can, you know, feel good about themselves or, you know, the sides they're taking.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Be. It just. It's wild to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's why I never root for anyone.

[Jared Freid]

No, I root for me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Exactly. And your phone back. Right. That's why. That's why you only can trust yourself as your phone background. Right. This episode is sponsored by built. It's almost 2026 and you're still paying rent. Without Built, we can't have that. Built is the loyalty program for renters that rewards you for your biggest monthly expense. Rent. With Built, every rent payment earns you points that can be used towards flights, hotels, lift rides, Amazon.com purchases and so much more. And when you pay rent through Build, you unlock access to exclusive benefits from a network of more than 45,000 merchants. Just link your credit cards, spend at your favorite local spots, earn Build points on top of your regular card rewards and get one step closer to that trip you wanted to take. Personally, I'd redeem my points for some Amazon purchases because literally I cannot stop buying stuff there and this would really help me out. Build Points have been ranked the most valuable point currency by the points guy and they just announced Build Cash, a way to unlock even more value from Build's partners. It's simple, paying rent is better. With Built Earn rewards and finally get something back for being a renter. Join the loyalty program for renters at joinbuilt.comUUP that's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T.comUUP make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. If you've shopped online, chances are you've bought from a business powered by Shopify. You know that purple Shop pay button you see at checkout? The one that makes buying so incredibly easy? That's Shopify. And there's a reason so many businesses sell with it. Because Shopify makes it incredibly easy to start and run your own business. Shopify is the commerce platform behind 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Mattel and Gymshark to brands just getting started. Shopify's got you from the get go with beautiful ready to go templates to match your brand style. Tackle all the important tasks in one place, from inventory to payments to analytics and more. Spread your brand's word with built in marketing and email tools to find and keep new customers. And did I mention that iconic Purple Shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Your customers already love it. If you want to see less cards being abandoned, it's time for you to head over to Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com batches go to shopify.comshopify.com batches.

[Jared Freid]

Do another question.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Jared and Jordana, longtime Listener. You guys once helped me with a situation before. So I'm back with another one. I'm 31, female, met a guy on hinge who's 32. We dated for two and a half months and things were progressing well. He whined and dined me and really showed up for the courting phase. He introduced me to his parents one month in and asked me to be his girlfriend one and a half months in. The only flag I noticed was that he hadn't gotten past five dates with anyone since his last relationship in college. So I flagged that he might be avoiding, avoided. I on the other hand, just imagining.

[Jordana Abraham]

Her doing like a, like a male flag, like flagging this email, just flagging the avoidance.

[Jared Freid]

Avoidance. I flagged it, just put it in that inbox. So I flagged that might be avoidant. I on the other hand had just gotten out of a serious two year relationship six months prior. You guys actually helped me with that. And for that reason we wanted to take things slow and even suggested we not rush the girlfriend boyfriend thing. Anyways, I had a destination wedding coming up that I had already had a plus one to. I invited him and he wanted, he said he wanted to come. We booked flights, decided to make a trip out of it to arrive one day early and travel after the wedding weekend for three more nights. I naturally extended the wedding hotel stay for the early arrival. The extra night was twelve hundred dollars.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wow. Where was one extra night?

[Jared Freid]

One night. That's like crazy. Four Seasons level room. I mean, right? I know the room block is done.

[Jordana Abraham]

But that seems crazy. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I started noticing the avoidance kicking in when he stalled on planning the rest of our trip. I was hoping he'd book the rest so we'd have he. We both had skin in the game. He suddenly broke up with me three weeks before the trip. That's two and a half weeks. But after we booked our flights. Now for no reason, I am arriving one night early and have three nights till my flight back. Here's my question. How do I handle the financial piece? What is the dating etiquette? When someone commits to a trip and backs out last minute, do I ask? Signed ST picking up the bill for an avoidant people pleaser.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's a good etiquette question. Wish we had our etiquette coach on here.

[Jared Freid]

I know this would be a good time for it. How do you feel about this one?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it would have been a nice thing if when he ended it, he said let me know if there's anything I can pay for in the trip that.

[Jared Freid]

Sure. She wouldn't be writing into us now.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. If he did that, that would have been. I think. I think that's a nice. If I broke up with someone a few weeks before a trip through that they were paying for some of it for. I would. I would suggest that, like, pretty quickly.

[Jared Freid]

Right. We would be saying that to him if he were emailing.

[Jordana Abraham]

He's not.

[Jared Freid]

He's not.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. So what can she do?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I don't like the way she's painted this to give her some feedback, you know, she has painted this as victim, perpetrator, which I don't think. She's not a victim in this. It sucks someone ended things. They didn't really make it easy on you by saying, hey, what. You know, what's the cost breakdown of this trip we have planned? Or.

[Jordana Abraham]

That seems a little quick for me. I don't know. Let's. I'll let you know sooner.

[Jared Freid]

There's a million other ways that this could have been played. But when she says signed Avoidant is picking up the bill for an avoidant people pleaser. Like, she's leaning on all these labels to, like, make it. So we find her totally absolved of any having to. Like, she's kind of like a boss. Like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, he did say he was.

[Jared Freid]

He said he was in. Well, that's two and a half weeks after we booked our flights. Now for no reason, I'm arriving one night early and have three nights till my flight back. The idea that none of this can be changed at all. Like, this is painted very black and white. You can change your flight. Like, I have to now. This happens in breakups all the time. Now I have to wait three nights before I go back. Well, how about you call Delta and see if they have a policy where you can, you know, maybe change some things? Maybe you're not losing 100. Maybe, right? What's that?

[Jordana Abraham]

Maybe you get a credit.

[Jared Freid]

A credit? If you're gonna fly again, like, you're gonna use the credit within a year, like, I. I just don't buy the way it's being.

[Jordana Abraham]

I understand that. I also do.

[Jared Freid]

The one extra night might be a thing where they go, no, this is no refunds. No refunds. But it doesn't feel. When you add on, it's like, I. I'm sorry to interrupt, because when you add on, I just. You've. You've lost credibility with me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

For your argument. Hey, I've gone to Delta. They said I can get a credit, which is annoying, but I have the Credit, I would go, okay, well that's good. That's taken care of. You're gonna fly.

[Jordana Abraham]

She's flying there anyway. So the flight. I don't think she needs a flight.

[Jared Freid]

Well, she added three. She goes, I'm staying here three extra nights.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. So it's. We're at the hotel, not the. Either way. She has to fly back either way.

[Jared Freid]

Right, right. But I'm just. Either way. She's flying in general. But I'm saying let's not paint it as like not trying at all. Look at what happened here. And it's like, well, let's pick up a few of the pieces.

[Jordana Abraham]

I get it. Can see where her complaint is. Like, okay, not only have I just been dumped, but now I have to do all this paperwork.

[Jared Freid]

Fine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, it's kind.

[Jared Freid]

That's a more reasonable complaint to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I. That is a complaint I agree with.

[Jordana Abraham]

I agree she didn't phrase it like that, but I could see like the irritation of like, not only am I not heading towards a relationship with this person who's going to be like going on our first trip together, but now I have to like jump through hoops to figure out how to get some money back for this thing that I've already. I'm also financially active out.

[Jared Freid]

And from his end, if I got a call, hey, what am I gonna do about the. Look what you did to me with these three extra nights and I have a $1200 room. I would. A little piece of me from his end is like you trying to continue the conversation to make him feel worse about the breakup.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, wouldn't you just pay her off?

[Jared Freid]

I would and. But that's my advice to her. Yeah, My advice to her is you make this simple because guys. Egos will get in the way.

[Jordana Abraham]

Way.

[Jared Freid]

The ego of a man will tell him up. She's trying to make me feel bad. She's trying to keep this breakup going longer. She's trying to bury me in a certain way. And I'm like, let's get around that by looking at him going, hey, we planned this trip. Here's the bill as I see it. I have to now pay this much. I'm going to ask you for. I would even like give a guy a deal. Like I would want.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's a sale going on right now for holiday season. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Black Friday special. Since you're not coming and since we broke up but I couldn't get a full refund, give me a third. I'm giving you a bill for a third of this trip. And you can do with that as you may like. I would. I would deliver it in one simple. Here's your bill. Here's what you owe me. Assume that anyone who has made a trip would want to make sure that they are even with someone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I would assume.

[Jordana Abraham]

I would want to.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

If I. Especially if I'm the one ending it.

[Jared Freid]

Right. I'm ending it. Hey, and again, you just can't do the thing you're doing. She's doing.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's a cancellation fee.

[Jared Freid]

I don't trust you.

[Jordana Abraham]

This relationship has a cancellation fee. He canceled the relationship. There's a fee to pay.

[Jared Freid]

Make it math for him. Right, right. If you make it math, there's no, you know, what's he going to do? Can you believe she's charging me on the breakup? Well, charging you for what? Well, we had a trip planned, and there was an extra night that we planned for and then three extra nights on the back end. Okay, well, wouldn't you say you owe that to her? Like, any normal adult would look at him and go, well, I. I think you have to pay that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. Because they committed to a. The trip, which they didn't. Go on. So I think that most people, again, like, he might be immature, he might be, like, petty. He might not do it. But, like, I think she's entitled to something.

[Jared Freid]

When you're entitled to something, don't look for additional sympathy because that's what she's doing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Make it. Make it more logical, make it less emotional.

[Jared Freid]

Right. What you're doing here is that's two and a half weeks after we booked. Now for no reason, I'm arriving one night early and three nights till my flight back. I don't give a. How much does it cost? Yeah, you know, like, tell me what I owe you so I can get away from you. Obviously, this didn't work out. I'm sorry. It didn't work out.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

So, like, it's funny because, like, by the way, she wrote her email, there's a little bit of like, oh, baby, I'm not gonna do that.

[Jordana Abraham]

There should be breakup insurance. Yeah, right.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely.

[Jordana Abraham]

Then it'll just. There's a company that just pays out all the. That your ex think is making up that they owe you and they file a claim.

[Jared Freid]

So, like, what, 10 bucks a month until you get married? Both the couple to.

[Jordana Abraham]

To pay the insurance company.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. You and I were dating.

[Jordana Abraham]

You would definitely pay it.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. On the way out and the policy pays out, I'd be like, why do.

[Jordana Abraham]

You think we need insurance?

[Jared Freid]

I I feel like cuz it hasn't worked for me in the past.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Let me, let me make sure you're taken care of. With ten grand.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's not a bad. That's not a bad.

[Jared Freid]

No insurance company would do it because then they have to like follow up on it. They're gonna like, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

They gotta assess the strength of the relationship before they decide whether or not to insure.

[Jared Freid]

Like what if they start again? Do they have to give the money back?

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, it's a good question. Yeah, it's like, you know, arson insurance.

[Jared Freid]

Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax. And let go of whatever you're carrying. Just. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts.

[Jordana Abraham]

In time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-contacts. Oh my gosh.

[Jared Freid]

They're so fast. And breathe.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. Every holiday shopper's got a list. But Ross shoppers. You've got a mission like a gift run that turns into a disco snow globe, throw pillows and PJs for the whole family.

[Jared Freid]

Dog. And included at Ross Holiday magic isn't about spending more. It's about giving more for less. Ross, work your magic. Let's play some games.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right. Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Uuppaches.com we love Red Flag or deal breaker. It's the game sweep in the country. All you got to do is go on a date with someone. One thing happens. You, you decide whether it's a red flag and you'll notice it and keep going or it's a deal breaker. It's over.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Go for it.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right. J and J subscriber here. I literally love you guys so much. I'm so happy for you and I promise it'll all be worth the wait. I say this as I hold my IVF baby. Love it.

[Jared Freid]

Love it. Sisters.

[Jordana Abraham]

My 35 year old husband shares an Amazon account with his mom and his 34 year old brother who is also married with kids. I discovered this while helping him buy Hanukkah gifts and I just felt so weird about it. He gets emails whenever they order stuff or packages are delivered. They have three credit cards linked in three different addresses. I've offered him to use my account a million times times, but he says it's easier to stay on his mom's. He does not try to commit to you even though you're married with a kid. So red flag or deal breaker? He's a grown man and still uses his mom's Amazon account. Okay, thank you. Love you guys. Subscriber for life.

[Jared Freid]

How do you feel about this?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's weird that he be one thing if they just started dating. I think it's weird he wouldn't be on his wife's Amazon account.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

If they're like Mike was on his parents Amazon account when I met him.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

But now we have one Amazon account together.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And, and it's also like I don't, this is different than like being on the family plan for the cell phone to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Cuz there's more logistics involved in it. Right? Yeah, right.

[Jared Freid]

Well that, that's what I'm saying. For him to say it's easier. Let's live in reality. I don't like when I have an argument with someone that doesn't that just says it's easier. And I'm like, well no it's not.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like we, now we have to argue the easy. It's easier because you don't have to do anything to start a new account. But like it's not easier. Like, like if you had an account that only went to your house, you would never wonder, oh my God, did I send it to the right place? When you order switch the credit card. Right. There's a lot of actual extra thoughts that go into sharing this. And I'm saying this as a guy who's on his parents cell phone plan.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are you on their prime account?

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you use Amazon?

[Jared Freid]

They're on my prime account.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh wow. How?

[Jared Freid]

I think they're on mine. They don't have Amazon. I order Amazon for them. I. They're on all my streaming services. I have all the streaming services they have. They're on mine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh wow. So you do pay for stuff.

[Jared Freid]

I do pay. I mean, well, you know, so I, I, which is fine. Like I just this, this, this, this description of it being easy I disagree with.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. It would be easier to be on if, especially if your wife, who I assume you share share finances with is already paying for Amazon. That goes all to your home. Right. Where your child lives.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. So it's not a deal breaker. Like if you're on your family's Amazon account. Like it's easier if you're not paying.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. But she's paying.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So like his wife is paying.

[Jared Freid]

That's what I'm Saying right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. So it doesn't, I don't see what's.

[Jared Freid]

Easier, the idea that you're switching credit cards. Maybe he's not as much as I'm.

[Jordana Abraham]

Saying, it's harder for like the 20 minutes minutes that you have to like get off of it and transfer your whatever you were thinking of buying to your other account, I guess.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

There's, there's a, remember a new password and log in.

[Jared Freid]

Getting an assistant training, the assistant is a pain in the ass. Once you have an assistant, it makes your life easier.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So yeah, the switch is hard. But no, I, I disagree. I just don't like having an argument or a discussion with someone where they just disagree with reality.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And that would be a deal breaker for me if someone, if I was dating. So I know this is their husband, but if I was dating someone, they're like, it's easier. I'd be like, well, we don't like, that's like telling me it's raining when it's sunny out.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Well, let me, let me change the question for you a little bit because I forgot my. Halfway through that they were already married. But like let's say you were in a relationship, you were in a one year relationship and your girlfriend has prime. You're on your parents prime account and she says, says, why don't you come onto my prime account? Right. Would you say no? If, would, if, if they said no it's easier to stay, would you assume they might break up with you?

[Jared Freid]

Yes, because I would.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's why you wouldn't go?

[Jared Freid]

That's why I wouldn't go.

[Jordana Abraham]

In case you.

[Jared Freid]

If I was unsure of the relationship. I'm not joining your prime account.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

And I do that with most things. Like do you think this guy is.

[Jordana Abraham]

About to ask for a divorce?

[Jared Freid]

Get a divorce. Well, I'm just saying thing when it comes to like these life things that make life easier, I'm not doing that with someone that I'm not positive I want to be with for the rest of my life.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So yeah, just join my Amazon. It's easier. Well, how about I be more sure right. About what's going on?

[Jordana Abraham]

Wait till we get a ring.

[Jared Freid]

Right. There's certain things, but like, you know, I have a thing in me where I hope I like. Of course. Yeah. Well, let's get the Amazon you hope.

[Jordana Abraham]

To find someone to share a Prime account with.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that's kind of my hope. Or that I hope I. There are certain things you get asked about while you're dating or in the early phases that make me personally, and I'm sure people out there, it makes you, like, your stomach turn a little bit. And those are the times where you're put to think about this long term, right? And undoing it. So I have to think about undoing the prime account and what it says about me that we went into the prime account. Like, I know it's not a test, but it is a test. It is an answer. I will be great, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

And she probably doesn't need to worry about that because they're married, but who knows?

[Jared Freid]

Who knows? So not to scare. Not married.

[Jordana Abraham]

Over.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do another.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

J and J. Love you guys and the pod. I have a serious crush on Jared, but he's ghosting my dad. Dms. She's probably a private account.

[Jordana Abraham]

Go public. What? Number one rule. Number one, public account. If you're dms.

[Jared Freid]

No, don't DM me. Please. Please stop. Please stop. It's not.

[Jordana Abraham]

I get DMS about going out with you too, right?

[Jared Freid]

And it's like, hey, let's go on a date next time you're in Cedar Falls, Idaho, or whatever the. And I'm like. And again, I'm, like, exhausted by it because I do the thing when you're single, when you're out there, there, you're like, well, let me see who's looking at me. And it does take up headspace. Like, it's not anymore, I guess. Like, I, I know I could sound really bad to someone. They're like, oh, complaining about getting dms, about going on a great date with a great person. But it's like, I don't think any of these people when they DM me. Like, I don't think it's about me. Of course, it's, like, about them being bold, but I'm the safest person to be bold with. How about you be bold with the person you see at the coffee shop every day? Do you know what I mean? Like, being bold with me. Oh, I, I, I get like, I just thought maybe why not just shoot my shot? And I'm like, because I have to deal with it. You know? Like, how about my feelings? They don't care about my feelings. You know, like, they don't care that I'm sitting there going like, I, I.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I have to answer or I don't.

[Jared Freid]

Like, hey, thanks for a great show. And if you're up for a drink tomorrow. No, I'm going on a flight. I'm leaving. You know, like, I know you got this out of your system. But like, I, I, this sounds so bad. I is like a genie's wish gone bad. Like I want to date all the women. It's like now I get to.

[Jordana Abraham]

Pass, right?

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. It's just now it's, it's, it's hard for me because especially as whatever I'm described as, you know, an en. Meshed a mommy and meshed avoidant chubby loser.

[Jordana Abraham]

Can you get that on your license plate for your Jeep Wrangler?

[Jared Freid]

So, you know, so I, I understand that I don't sound great, but like, like, even she writes, he goes to my DMs laughing face, laughing face. I'm like, all right, I'm sorry.

[Jordana Abraham]

So she's not that hurt. Don't worry, I'm hurt.

[Jared Freid]

I have a red flagger deal breaker. I've 32 female, been seeing this guy, 32 male, for about four months and she's DMing me. That's the thing. If I was like, this is where it's not even if I was DMing a girl. And if I was DMing a girl while I'm three months into a relationship that I'm open about, there would be a Reddit thread about, hey, Jared, DMS.

[Jordana Abraham]

People while he's no, I think this is messed up. I think it is weird.

[Jared Freid]

It's kind of up. We've known each other since high school.

[Jordana Abraham]

She didn't even say I had a serious crush on Jared. She's saying I have.

[Jared Freid]

Yes, but he is currently dms.

[Jordana Abraham]

Would. Would leave this guy in a second if Jared only answered I have a.

[Jared Freid]

Red flagger deal burger. About my, my boyfriend. I've been 32 seeing. I'm 32 seeing this guy, 32 male, about four months. We've known each other since high school, but one night I hit on him at a bar and the rest was history. Lol. See, it's. It was that easy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Look at that.

[Jared Freid]

Things with him are so great. Well, except for the fact that you're trying to cheat on him. He's kind, respectful, and can hang. We see each other about three times a week. I feel really good about how things are going so far. Far. However, I have not seen his place. We only ever hang out at my place, which is fine because it's the same with my friend group. I love to host, but I feel like I at least need to see how he lives. He asked me to be his girlfriend, but I told him a couple things needed to happen. First one, I needed to meet his dog, which has which he made happen the next day. But he brought the dog to my place. 2 I need to see his place he said he was kind of embarrassed of his place because it's not nice quote like yours. He went for something cheap because he wanted to put as much money as possible into his business. I told him that does not bother me. I grew up poor and our houses were always very pretty. Rough rental market here is also really bad. It took me eight months to find something decent. The price is astronomical. I have absolutely no judgment towards it. It's been about a month since that conversation and the other day he called me his girlfriend so I reiterated what I like to happen before we make it official. He said it's really that important to you A my girlfriends and I went full detective mode and googled his address. Yes, There was a YouTube video tour of the apartment and it looked nice. I'm not worried he's a hoarder has another girlfriend or anything. I just feel weird that this guy has become an important part of my life and I haven't seen that side of him where he lives so red flagger, deal breaker. I'm seeing this guy and I haven't seen his apartment. Sincerely, a girl who just wants to confirm he owns sheets this is a little weird. It's a lot weird right? I I.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah if it four months.

[Jared Freid]

And never seen his place right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not even like we're in the area it's closer to go back to mine.

[Jared Freid]

Even not sleeping in his but just she asked him right straight up like.

[Jordana Abraham]

You wouldn't just be like come over.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah it would be as easy as the dog but to me she's like I don't think he has another girlfriend. I mean to me that's like on the list at least right there or that the breakup was sooner than maybe he implied and there's things of hers.

[Jordana Abraham]

At the place that could be it.

[Jared Freid]

Men are me I'll speak for myself. I'm not really good like I've had women go through my drawers or see my and go what's this? And it's like something from a past girlfriend.

[Jordana Abraham]

Random women go through your drawers?

[Jared Freid]

They're not random. The women going through the drawers are like someone I'm seeing okay Every day strangers Yeah I know but I've had women like like see things in my apartment that were obviously other women's trying.

[Jordana Abraham]

To have a new girlfriend. Just clean up your apartment right or.

[Jared Freid]

Just yeah, that's from my last girlfriend like I'm with you like I you know Like, I, I just. It's strange, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

There's something weird again. If she happened to have not seen it wouldn't be weird. It's weird that she's saying, I'd like to see your apartment. And he will not do it.

[Jared Freid]

And saying, I guess this is a big deal to you. A. Yeah, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It's a big deal to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like saying like, oh, I want to meet your someone in your life that knows you, like your friends or your family. And then being like, wow, it's really a big deal. It's like, yeah, I want to, like, make sure you're not a serial killer.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And I know you're not a s. And because they went to high school together, it's like, well, we've known each other a long time. You know me. No, I don't know this version of you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. Today, you that I sleep within a bed you, maybe, you know, maybe he doesn't have an apartment. Maybe he gave a fake address. Maybe he lives with his parents. Maybe. There's a lot of things that maybe could be going on here. The, you know, the insecurities. He's admitting to some of them, but sometimes you admit to certain insecurities, so you don't have to admit to all the insecurities.

[Jordana Abraham]

So it's not as nice as yours. Like, if she, if he said that already, he's already over the discussion of it, right? I don't believe that.

[Jared Freid]

I just don't. Yeah. So what does she do? I don't think she would say, like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Listen, I think it's like, kind of funny at first, but, like, now I actually think it's like, a little weird. Like, I'd really like to see the.

[Jared Freid]

Apartment you are currently. I, I would say this, and I'm. I, I, I think using certain words are important.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

You know, when discussing with someone, I don't think using words. I, I hate when someone uses words that don't match. Like, you know, the word problematic. Seems like it's like this little side door to abusive.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

That really kind of bothers me because it's like you want to say someone's abusive, but you don't think you have the right to. So I'll call him problematic so I can make sure everyone kind of knows he's a little bit abusive. You know, like, it's like, it's a little tainted. It's a tainted word to me. This you can use. We know how to that to me. So in a world where we know how to use words in ways that can make things happen or make people see things a little bit different. Differently. I would tell him it the longer this goes, the more uncomfortable I get. And I'm a little turned off to not know where you live. And I'm not saying, you know, I'm more turned off by you hiding this place than I am whatever's going to be behind that door, assuming it's not a dead body. Right. Or your girlfriend and your two kids.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So yeah. And I think she has to like say like for him to go, oh, this is important to you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, that's weird.

[Jared Freid]

That's weird. That means he's not taking you seriously. So I think the conversation why you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Want to be in a relationship so quickly without showing you the apartment.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

You need is he need a place to live.

[Jared Freid]

And also I do understand how these things happen. Like you know, my parents. Like I was, I've, I've, I've ended things with girls where I'm going to do it over text. And we've been dating long enough where I should probably call. But then I'm realizing it's the first time I've ever called them. You know, these. It's a weird thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And the only reason I could be calling is that someone died or we're broken up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Beware of, beware of a phone call.

[Jared Freid]

If you've never had one before, beware. So sure. Yeah. So I can understand how things happen. But we're at the point where you've said something.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

He has balked and given you the stiff arm. Now it's, I'm uncomfortable now.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like ultimatum me stuff. And if again I think red flag if after like a real conversation you still know I would break up with someone over that. That's weird.

[Jared Freid]

I would break up with someone. I, I cuz I'm not getting the whole story. I don't like being shady. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Let's do one more. UF betches.com red flagger. Deal breaker. Keep sending yours in. We love the.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love it. Hi JJ Feather. Feather. And the secret number is 82.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Love it.

[Jared Freid]

82.

[Jordana Abraham]

82. You know, you know, longtime listener, first time writer. I have a red flag or deal breaker moment for you. Around six months into dating, it was Thanksgiving and my boyfriend asked me to help tidy his new apartment before his sisters came over. I was cleaning up his table and I couldn't get a spot out. So I mentioned it. He walked over, spit on the table and tried wiping it with his sleeve, like it was some old school trick. I just stared at him and he said, what? It's supposed to help. We had actual cleaner right there. It wasn't a deal breaker. We're still together four years later and just had a baby. But I still think about it. It's a red flag or deal breaker. Your boyfriend spits on the table to help clean it up.

[Jared Freid]

It is a red flag if your boyfriend was instructed on how to be an adult by the TV show Looney Tunes. Because that is a Looney Tunes move.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, especially to do, like, public, like, in front of someone.

[Jared Freid]

Let me wipe that up. Like, he's not a bartender in an old school.

[Jordana Abraham]

I want to see how he changes your baby. Baby's diaper.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Like, does he know how to do anything right? Yeah. With the cleaner.

[Jordana Abraham]

Asked her to come over and help clean for his sisters. Is also a little weird.

[Jared Freid]

A little weird, but, like, fine. I mean, but like, the idea of spit shine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, let me spit. You know, like, that's what you do. Like, in dire circumstances.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's what you do if you need to, like, white. If your great aunt needs to wipe something off your cheek.

[Jared Freid]

Right. This is. This is a bizarre movement. It is the first. It is just funny. Like, some people just don't do certain things. Like, you know, like, you were never brought up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

To. I mean, him asking her to help clean. Like, he's admitting, like, I don't.

[Jordana Abraham]

He doesn't know how to do anything right. Yeah. I mean, I would make fun of him for it, like, just relentlessly and hope he never did it again.

[Jared Freid]

How else does he do everything? Like, I. It's like one of those weird. It's a TV way to do something.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, especially when there's a cleaner solution. I can maybe if you're in a real bind and you need to get something out real quick and you need some lubrication.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, I do that with like a stain of my pants. Like, I'll just. I need some moisture. Put some w. You know, I'll spit on the. You know, my hand to, like, try and wipe it out. But, like, it's not.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, when his sisters came over, I'd be like, oh, we were just cleaning the apartment and your brother did this. Is that like a thing that you guys. Is that like a family. Family cleaning secret?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I would hopefully. I would hope they would help shame him.

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

For me.

[Jared Freid]

And yeah, here's the other thing. Sisters, brother to sisters. Like, they've probably just been like, get out of the way his whole life.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Like, that's why he's hell of having you over. It's like, no, you're not cleaning. Like that happens with my mom a lot. Oh, I'll clean it. No, no, just stop.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're gonna it up.

[Jared Freid]

Just stop. And then she'll yell at me for never helping.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? So it's really get everyone involved in shaming him.

[Jared Freid]

All right, we solved dating again.

[Jordana Abraham]

We did it. We'll be back next week. Week. Boom.

[Jared Freid]

Thanks again to Uber Eats for sponsoring this episode. With Uber Eats, gifting is easier than ever, bringing holiday cheer straight to your doorstep. And this December, Uber Eats is making it even more special. When you tap the Send as a gift feature at checkout, you can not only send your favorite items, but also include a video from a lineup of holiday helpers like Megan the Stallion, the Jonas Brothers, Jake Shane, or Tracy Ellis Ross. Whether it's your TikTok obsessed Gen Z cousin or your hottie roommate, this two in one surprise guarantees gifting hero status. Shop holiday deals and start gifting now with Uber Eats. See app for details.

[Jordana Abraham]

Betches.