Transcript

A (0:01)

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B (0:32)

Hello, and welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the U UP podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

C (0:36)

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. But it is especially good because we have two very special guests from the Dear Shandy podcast, Charlene Joint and Andy Levine. Thank you guys for coming on.

D (0:50)

Thank you.

E (0:50)

Thanks for having us. Guys.

C (0:51)

What's going on? How are you guys today?

D (0:54)

It's good. It's good to be here. I know we. We didn't cross paths. You asked if we were up and we said we were up. And then we never consummated the thing.

C (1:02)

So now we all have to fuck.

B (1:04)

Oh, they didn't tell you? That's how we do all the episodes.

C (1:09)

They lock the doors. Now we go. So you guys have a podcast. Dear Shandy, you talk about dating, relationships. I mean, what do we. Why do we have to do this? If you do what we do, what do we need to do this for? What is the meaning of the mind? What's the meaning. What are we going to talk about?

E (1:27)

I guess it comes down to who was doing it first. What year did you guys start before you.

C (1:31)

So. So we went there. What's the nature of the podcast? How did it start? You're, you know. I know you were on the Bachelor and. Andy, what do you do? What did you do before?

D (1:41)

I was just doing my business. I was just a businessman.

C (1:45)

Okay, that's.

D (1:46)

It's a secret.

C (1:46)

Summary

Podcast Summary: U Up? – “Why Hot Takes Are Ruining Dating Advice ft. Dear Shandy”

Host: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Guests: Charlene Joint & Andy Levine (Dear Shandy)
Date: May 1, 2026

Episode Overview

This lively episode of U Up? welcomes Charlene Joint and Andy Levine from the Dear Shandy podcast to explore the impact of “hot takes” on dating advice, the authenticity of modern dating and reality TV relationships, and the real consequences of dating app culture. The discussion is both playful and insightful, blending behind-the-scenes reality TV, relationship psychology, and dating trends through both hosts’ and guests’ unique perspectives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Dear Shandy Origins and Relationship Backstory

How They Met & Their Dynamic:
- Charlene and Andy share their meeting story in classic “meet-cute” style at a charity event in NYC. Their interaction pokes fun at Andy’s secretive work life—an ongoing inside joke with their audience ([02:00]-[05:04]).
- Quote:
  - Andy: “I do not believe that work should be discussed in the first couple of dates.” ([03:11])
- They reveal a whirlwind romance: Andy proposed within five months, noting the comical attempt to propose in Italy, and Charlene moving in almost immediately ([10:00]-[13:12]).

2. The Transition from Private Life to Podcasting

Charlene discusses her Bachelor experience and how that informed Dear Shandy’s mix of relationship advice and reality TV analysis ([05:18]-[23:20]).
- Quote:
  - Charlene: “I took the whole thing maybe, too, like, sincerely... There came a point where it was like, well, then what are you doing?” ([05:48])
Andy explains his accidental slide into public life through pandemic podcasting and becoming the unofficial relationship advisor for Charlene’s friends ([23:17]-[23:34]).

3. Dating App Culture and "Hot Takes" vs. Real Advice

The group dives into how dating apps have transformed the dating landscape, reducing the need for risk-taking and “in-person” social skills, especially among men.
- Quote:
  - Andy: “You get skills in anything from failing… so you never fail, really, on the dating apps, do you?” ([15:51]-[16:05])
They critique the prevalence of oversimplified dating hot takes on social media and platforms, noting how nuance is often lost.

4. Reality TV: Clout vs. Connection and Generational Shifts

The hosts and guests compare authenticity and motivation in reality TV dating shows, arguing earlier contestants were less clout-driven due to the lack of social media’s influence ([23:52]-[29:08]).
- Quote:
  - Jared: “Anyone who’s there season one is more likely to be there for actual love… could not agree more…” ([28:31])
They play a rapid-fire game parsing famous couples as “in it for true love or in it for the likes?”, highlighting how hard it is now to untangle love and fame.
Andy observes a decline in interpersonal skills and eloquence on contemporary shows:
- Quote:
  - Andy: “You will be shocked… at the level of articulation you will see the difference… Men have gone from well-spoken people… to people who stare into space, talk about themselves, cannot get through a sentence without a million ums or likes.” ([36:10]-[37:24])

5. Fame, Authenticity, and the Impact of Instagram

Charlene reflects on how “going on the Bachelor” pre-Instagram was a different experience, implying that today’s contestants are more motivated by influencer careers ([43:10]-[43:53]).
She expresses empathy for reality TV contestants, appreciating how hard it is to be watched and judged by the world ([43:54]-[44:28]).

6. Lighthearted Critiques & Pop Culture Moments

The group swaps memorable stories, including Andy dodging questions about his career, joking about “business,” and the joys and absurdities of straight-up, old-school romantic gestures ([03:19]-[04:17], [11:01]-[13:58]).
The guests admit they don’t follow every reality show, surprising the hosts and prompting a meta-discussion about the insular worlds of various fandoms ([34:03]-[35:04]).

Notable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

On Reality TV Authenticity:
- Jared: “The Bachelor is sort of predicated on this idea that everyone would be attracted and want to marry this person.” ([06:40])
On Fame and Relationships:
- Andy: “Now a lot of the couples—it’s part and parcel. I don’t think they can parse out what’s love and what’s clout. I think it becomes one monster.” ([29:29])
On Dating App Skills:
- Andy: “You can go up and talk to someone… and now, it just takes away the risk, which is like 95% of what you had to do before.” ([14:52])
On Social Media’s Influence:
- Charlene: “When I went on the show… Instagram wasn’t even a thing yet… I would never go on any of these shows today.” ([43:10]-[43:43])
On Generational Differences:
- Andy: “Watch an old episode… and now watch a new one. The level of eloquence is shocking.” ([36:10]-[37:24])

Timestamps of Important Segments

[02:00] – Charlene & Andy’s relationship origin story
[05:18] – Bachelor experience and pandemic podcasting origins
[10:00] – NYC charity event, ziti, and dating fate
[13:16] – Digital dating, dating apps, and the loss of in-person skills
[23:17] – Transition from private advice to public podcast
[25:01] – Debate on authenticity motives in reality TV and show ranking
[27:29] – Game: “True Love or True Likes” parsing reality TV couples
[36:10] – Andy’s commentary on generational changes in conversation skills
[42:50] – Reflection on show contestants, social media, and empathy for participants
[43:10] – Impact of Instagram on motivations for reality TV appearances

Final Thoughts and Takeaways

This episode deftly unpacks how “hot takes” and clout-chasing are diluting nuanced dating advice and genuine connections both on reality TV and in real life. The conversation balances critical commentary with playful banter, ultimately urging listeners to look beyond viral advice and reflect on what authentic connection—and self-awareness—really means today.