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- [00:01]
Jordana Abraham
So good, so good, so good.
- [00:03]
Jared Freid
Everything you want for summer is at Nordstrom rack stores now and up to 60% off. Stock up and save on the brands you love, like Vince, Sam, Edelman, Frame and free people.
- [00:13]
Jordana Abraham
Join the NordicLub to unlock exclusive discounts.
- [00:16]
Jared Freid
Shop new arrivals first and more. Plus, buy online and pick up at your favorite rack store for free. Great brands, great prices.
- [00:24]
Jordana Abraham
That's why you rack foreign. Welcome back to the Friday Feels episode of the UF podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.
- [00:34]
Jared Freid
And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? How you feeling on a Friday?
- [00:41]
Jordana Abraham
I'm okay. I'm coming off of a very rainy Memorial Day weekend.
- [00:46]
Jared Freid
I didn't want to bring it up. I had maybe the most beautiful weekend of my life. I heard it was tough in the northeast. Florida was gorgeous. Per usual. Not to bring it up. I don't want to bring it up.
- [00:57]
Jordana Abraham
It was. I want to bring it up the whole weekend. All right, you already brought it up.
- [00:59]
Jared Freid
All right. Sorry.
- [01:00]
Jordana Abraham
Well, I have a question, so. So I did some boring this weekend because there was just. I like to do boring when the weather's rainy. Yeah. I mean, we went to dinner and, like, that. It was nice. But we went to go look at cars, and I encountered. I have a question for you as a man.
- [01:18]
Jared Freid
Okay.
- [01:18]
Jordana Abraham
Do you, like, have any idea what, like, prenatal care entails? Like, a. Like. Aside from, like, the. Like, the movies?
- [01:32]
Jared Freid
I don't know. To me, prenatal, first of all, is a word that scares me. Second of all, the only thing I thought about, I. I call it my punch bowl theory. My punchbowl theory is. Or theory is not really the right name for it. This is my punchbowl opinion is that there's things that you've seen in movies your whole life that just don't exist in real life. Like, you were just convinced that, like. And I call it the punch bowl theory because I've seen a punch bowl at every dance or prom or teen movie. Teen movie that's ever existed, and I've never once come in contact with a punch bowl. And I've also seen, like, interviews on TV where the interviewer looks at the person, is like, you got the job. And I'm like, that's never happened to me in an interview. Like, every interview is like, okay, we'll be in touch. And then you never hear from them again. But never has anyone stood up and been like, you got the job. And then when it Comes to getting have being pregnant. The punchbowl version of this has always been the Lamaz class that, that a man goes with his wife and they go, he, he, he who? He, he who? And they're in the class and he's holding.
- [02:50]
Jordana Abraham
No one even goes to either.
- [02:51]
Jared Freid
Right. That's is apparently that's another thing like the punch bowl that just doesn't exist.
- [02:58]
Jordana Abraham
So breaking all over the floor.
- [03:01]
Jared Freid
Another thing that I was told about in TV my whole life. So prenatal care. To me, the only pre baby thing that I knew of was these Lamaz classes that apparently didn't exist. So no, I know absolutely nothing.
- [03:16]
Jordana Abraham
Well, Mike and I have been getting a recurring question and it's usually from a man. I think it's every time it's been from a man. And it's just a weird question whenever we're out with the twisters because they're like, oh, are they twins? And we're like, yeah, they're twins. And then the men will say, they'll ask this question. They'll say, were you like surprised? Or like, did you know? Like, did you know you were going to have twins? And I'm like, like, what do you mean? Like, were we surprised? Like, did we know like when they came out? Like, did like. First of all, we don't obviously we don't like really have twins. So the questions, like, doesn't really apply to us. But like, even if we. I'm just trying to think, like, even
- [03:58]
Jared Freid
if this is already an imaginary conversation you're having, but if you worried about twins.
- [04:04]
Jordana Abraham
No, but it's not an imaginary conversation because it's like, that's a question set. Many people ask it. It's like, right. It's like weird the amount of men who ask that question. And I just don't understand what they're asking. It's like, were you expecting it or were you surprised?
- [04:18]
Jared Freid
So there's a group of men out. Right? So there's a. So what you're saying is that there's a large group of men who believe that twins, much like the sex of a baby, is something you don't know until the moment you have the baby.
- [04:36]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah. I mean, you can. You also know that most people know the sex of the baby before, right?
- [04:40]
Jared Freid
I'm just saying you can elect, like, you can elect.
- [04:43]
Jordana Abraham
You can elect to not know that you're not twins.
- [04:46]
Jared Freid
That you're not.
- [04:46]
Jordana Abraham
Right. Like, here's one. Oh, wow. Another one. Right. Well, that's why I'm like, do men know about like like, scan. Because there's another, like, I guess it's not a punch bowl because it actually happens when the, the husband and the wife go in and they put the. Rub the jelly on the belly and then they're like looking in the thing. I'm just like, does no.
- [05:04]
Jared Freid
The punch bowl would be. What is the question? I have seen that version in a movie and there's another, you know, you have. That is a TV that could be a punch bowl thing that they're actually letting you know that they only know about babies and twins via written television and movies. If they're asking that, because I've seen that in a movie where they're like, there's two, you know, But I. You usually see that with like, in reference to a dog. They keep coming, like, that's how the 101 Dalmatians is written.
- [05:38]
Jordana Abraham
Well, that's why I don't really understand the question.
- [05:40]
Jared Freid
2, 59, 60, 99. What? There's one more 101. Like, they think that babies happen the way they happen in 101 Dalmatians, right?
- [05:55]
Jordana Abraham
Where you just find like, is that the. Do you think that's what they're asking?
- [05:58]
Jared Freid
I think so.
- [05:59]
Jordana Abraham
Because it's also just a weird. It's like it was the only question that they asked. Maybe it was like, maybe they were scared it was going to happen to them.
- [06:08]
Jared Freid
Are these men in relationships? Are these men with babies? Do they have babies? Do you. Do you. Do you look into? Do they?
- [06:15]
Jordana Abraham
One was. One was the guy. One was the waiter at a restaurant and the other was the guy at the car dealership.
- [06:22]
Jared Freid
I mean, I've said this for years on this show. The amount men know about the female body is like zero. Like, I mean, and this is just another example. This is not.
- [06:33]
Jordana Abraham
I'm saying, do you think that's what they're asking? Are they asking, like, did they come out and you were like, oh, my God, they're just me telling too. Is that.
- [06:39]
Jared Freid
That's the only explanation to the question to me? Like, do you ask them? Do you say, hey, did you think that, like, people are surprised by having twins? Did you, like, question them? Or you were like, I'll have the bread, please. Can you please bring us more hot sauce to the waiter? Like, were you like.
- [06:56]
Jordana Abraham
I was like, yeah, we. We were expecting them. I'm like, I just, I don't know. Like, I don't even know what the. Like, I want to get into it.
- [07:04]
Jared Freid
Right? Well, if you get into it anymore. Yeah, we were expecting them. We Flew to Ohio to get one of them. You know, we were kind of expecting it, but in this scenario, yeah, of course we were expecting them.
- [07:14]
Jordana Abraham
With the second time someone asked. And Mike was like, people ask me that all the time because he speaks to more men than I do, I would assume. But with the second guy, he was like, mike wasn't. He was there. He was, like, looking at something, and I was speaking. He's like, were you expecting them? And I was like, yeah, we did ivf. So we knew. And he was like. And he. And he. And, and when I said that to him, he, he stopped asking any more questions. I don't think he had any idea what I was talking about.
- [07:36]
Jared Freid
He didn't know what IBF was. I mean, that's a version. Saying we did IBF and not shaming him is a version of, like, coddling a man's ego a little bit. Right? Isn't that, like, what a annoying person would say? Like, I guess. Do you know those people that are like, you know, I don't know. There's, like, a term for it where it's like, you're helping a man, you know, be an idiot. What is it when you're helping a man? Being.
- [08:01]
Jordana Abraham
Enabling him.
- [08:02]
Jared Freid
Enabling a man. Like, isn't there a version of, like, being in a relationship?
- [08:05]
Jordana Abraham
Weaponized incompetence.
- [08:07]
Jared Freid
Yes, weaponized incompetence. Aren't you helping to armor him with more weapons of a weaponized. Right. Wouldn't that be right?
- [08:14]
Jordana Abraham
I think that's more for, like, the man's, like, I don't even know how to load the dishwasher. You're so much better at it. And then you wind up loading the dishwasher. Because I don't know if it applies as much here, but I get what you're saying.
- [08:26]
Jared Freid
Yeah, I don't know. That would be the. If we go down the road of it. I, I. To me, this is just telling you how little men know about anything when it comes to health and wellness and a woman's body. Yeah, like, this is crazy. I, that's a question I wouldn'. Ask out loud. I, I'd be more embarrassed. You would think, right? You would think.
- [08:46]
Jordana Abraham
But it happens so often that I guess not. Right.
- [08:49]
Jared Freid
I guess I would want to pull.
- [08:51]
Jordana Abraham
I'm not offended by any questions. I'm just kind of, like, wondering, like, I just don't even know how to answer the question.
- [08:56]
Jared Freid
I think you got to. I think you need. We need more information. As a podcast, I need to know, like, did you believe that people are shocked to find out they have twins as they're going through pregnancy. Like, I, I, as do you. I, My response would be a question. Do you believe that there are people there who are shocked by twins during the delivery? Like, that's what I would ask.
- [09:20]
Jordana Abraham
I guess I'll have to, I'll have to ask that.
- [09:22]
Jared Freid
But I also think then, now you're like, I, again, that's a longer conversation with the waiter than I would ever want.
- [09:30]
Jordana Abraham
Right. That's what I'm saying now. I'm, like, getting into it, so I think I'm just gonna say, like, yes.
- [09:36]
Jared Freid
I, I, I'm trying to think if I would think, like, I'm trying to think if I'm, if I would ever think that, that people would be, I would think that people could be surprised by a second child in a pregnancy. But I would think earlier, yeah, again, like, I, I'm not saying I'm above these people who are asking this question, but I would hope that. I wouldn't believe it was the norm. Like, I don't think it's the, like, the idea that you ask that as if it's like a 50, 50 shot is crazy.
- [10:06]
Jordana Abraham
Right? It just doesn't make any sense to me. I guess it's the kind of thing where it's like, people maybe are just trying to ask something.
- [10:12]
Jared Freid
Right. They're trying to fill the air. Well, it's kind of like one of, it's one of those things that, like, when you hear someone ask that, you're like, how does anyone have, like, when you hear people get involved in debates about, like, you know, whenever I hear that, like, let's keep the government away from women's bodies. Like, this is like, a great example of, like, how does anyone ever, how does anyone ever speak strongly about anything when, like, yeah, this is a question they may have.
- [10:41]
Jordana Abraham
They don't know anything. Yeah, right, Right. And I feel like the people who are making, who are like, trying to make those rules about women's bodies are the people who might ask that question.
- [10:51]
Jared Freid
Right. That's my assumption too. And I'm always like, why would you do that? Like, what is it that you need this? You know, Like, I, I, I'm such a, I'm such a, like a Not get involved with those issues guy. Do you know what I mean? Like, not that I'm like, on, you know, like, those are women's issues. Right? Like, but I think that I kind of do.
- [11:14]
Jordana Abraham
I don't know anything about this issue. I'm not gonna, not my opinion Isn't, isn't that important here?
- [11:20]
Jared Freid
Oh, I kind of have this, I have this kind of thing with my stand up. I, you know, I, when I first started stand up, I would try to talk about like, issues or, you know, I try to get involved because you want to, like, have a voice. And I think it's a young guy thing to do. And over the course of doing stand up, I really feel good about only saying I me. I like sticking to I statements. And I think that's harder to do as a stand up because if you say men do this, you're almost like, right. Taking yourself out of it. You're. You're now employing the group and saying, we all do this. But if I say I do this thing that's uncomfortable now, I have to own it and you have to, I have to trust that you'll do the bridging to the group of men on your own or to your husband or to your boyfriend. And it is generally, I, I think it's a lesson for life that like, when you say I versus we, it's harder to do.
- [12:22]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah.
- [12:22]
Jared Freid
You know, and if I can't do I, then I don't do the joke. Like, that's why, like, when I see people talk about like trans issues on stage and there's no reason for them to talk about it, I'm kind of like, you're a hot take artist and you're using this group to get off to make money. Like, it's kind of gross to me
- [12:44]
Jordana Abraham
because you don't know anything about it.
- [12:45]
Jared Freid
Right. I had a joke that a woman got mad about and it was about. She said that I was making fun of Asians and like, I was in no way made. Like, she was drunk and I disagree with her. And the joke I made was that, like, I was talking about my body and like how I'm on a GLP1 and how I don't, Like, I, I just, I never thought of myself needing medication for my body, you know, like, and how I'm so, my fitness goals, like, at 41 are like, just so modest. I was like, I just want the same body as like an older Asian man. Like, I feel like they have like the perfect T shirt body. And it's like, I didn't come to that just to talk about Asians. Like, I'm just like, I'm noticing I want that body that seems to be right on average, pretty good for an old. Like, they fit in T shirts well. And I, like, I have a reason for being there. Like, I You know, like, I'm like, I didn't just, right, I, I didn't just bring up older Asian men to like on them. If anything, I'm being complimentary. I just like the general body they have. So I, I, I think for like a subject like this where like you see someone who doesn't have any clue about a woman's body, you go, can you just, you know, like, you thought twins were discovered at delivery.
- [14:06]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah. No, it's crazy. How are you?
- [14:09]
Jared Freid
I'm good. The book is coming out next week. I'm a little stressed out about it. I would love for people to pre order.
- [14:17]
Jordana Abraham
I'm feeling good about it, you know.
- [14:18]
Jared Freid
You know, with the book, I'm like,
- [14:20]
Jordana Abraham
I've signed you up to do a million book clubs.
- [14:24]
Jared Freid
That promise. We're done making that promise.
- [14:26]
Jordana Abraham
Those are those the worst thing I've ever done to you.
- [14:29]
Jared Freid
I got a text from like a friend's, my brother's friend's mom. She wants to have me come to New Jersey. I gotta go to New Jersey. Okay. We're gonna make it happen, Heidi. So I, so the book tours next week. I would love for people to get tickets. New York, Boston, Philly, D.C. chicago, Denver. Pre order the book. If you, if you're not sure about the book, I'm putting 16 minutes at the end of this episode. There will be 16 minutes of audio from the audiobook. It's meeting beginning 16 minutes of the book. I would love for you to check it out. If you like it, pre order it, get it. It'll be waiting for you on your phone on June 9th. You can pre order Kindle, you can pre order audio, you can pre order the hardcover. I would love for you to do that. Jaredfree.com to do all that. Plus I got stand up shows. Cleveland, the Hamptons, Miami, Red Bank, New Jersey, Foxwoods, Portland, Maine. It never ends.
- [15:24]
Jordana Abraham
I'll be at the Hamptons.
- [15:25]
Jared Freid
You'll be at the Hamptons.
- [15:27]
Jordana Abraham
Can't wait.
- [15:28]
Jared Freid
Get to see and hang with the Twisters and Mike. We are very excited. Get to me. I've, I've get to meet Ron. I get to get in that pool. I'm a big swimmer. I never leave that pool once I get in. Just know that.
- [15:43]
Jordana Abraham
Jordan, what temperature do you like it at?
- [15:46]
Jared Freid
I think in the 80s is really the key temperature.
- [15:49]
Jordana Abraham
In the 80s?
- [15:50]
Jared Freid
Yeah.
- [15:50]
Jordana Abraham
Okay.
- [15:51]
Jared Freid
I like a cold. Put it on my, on my rider. All right, let's do some emails.
- [15:56]
Jordana Abraham
I agree. All right, let's do it. Okay.
- [15:58]
Jared Freid
I like a pool to shock me and Then take me in.
- [16:03]
Jordana Abraham
Okay, I will. I'm putting that. I'm. I'm gonna note that it'll be ready for you. All right, good. Hey, that's good. It's cheaper for me.
- [16:10]
Jared Freid
Yes. This episode is sponsored by Instacart. When the weather's finally nice, the last place you want to be is inside. Whether you're spending weekends at the park, the beach, or just in your own backyard, Instacart helps you protect all that outdoor time. Set your preferences in the app once and your shopper knows exactly what to grab. Your preferred brands, organic options, or specific produce choices so you get quality without any sacrifice. Get your weekly essentials, snacks and meal ingredients delivered so you can spend more time outside and less time running errands. I love Instacart. I love the fact that you can go and live your life and have someone go and do these tasks for you and get it exactly the way you would get it. When I get turkey, I like a specific type of turkey. I like to let the person who's cutting the turkey know how thick or thin I want it. This Instacart cart person is going to do that for you and it is very easy to let them know how so. I am a lover of Instacart. You're going to love it too. Truly, the convenience can't be beat. With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite stores and have quality groceries and household essentials carefully selected and ready for pickup or delivered to your door in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart helps take care of delivering the things you need with the quality you deserve so that you're free to take care of life. I would say also for myself, Instacart is great. When I'm on the road and I'm heading home and I want those groceries to be waiting for me at my door while I'm unpacking my bags from the road. It gives me time back which cannot be bought. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney Plus. Let's go get ready for a new case.
- [18:03]
Jordana Abraham
We're gonna crack this case. Improve for a victorious partner.
- [18:07]
Jared Freid
New friends. You are Gary the snake and your last name Desnake. Dream team Hid new habitats. Zootopia has a secret reptile population. You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. You're clearly working at Zootopia 2.
- [18:24]
Jordana Abraham
Now available on Disney.
- [18:26]
Jared Freid
Rated PG. Tomorrow morning is knocking.
- [18:30]
Jordana Abraham
Stock your fridge now. How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink?
- [18:33]
Jared Freid
Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel maybe? Or white chocolate mocha?
- [18:37]
Jordana Abraham
Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries. Long time listener, 82. And I see Jared whenever he comes to Orlando.
- [18:48]
Jared Freid
Thank you very much. Love Orlando.
- [18:51]
Jordana Abraham
Love it. Getting right to it. In 2022, I started dating a guy. Let's call him Frank.
- [18:56]
Jared Freid
Okay, Frankie.
- [18:59]
Jordana Abraham
And things were pretty serious from the start. A few months into dating, I got a golden retriever puppy. That's a lot. He didn't live with me at the time, and I made it clear that she was mine if anything were to happen. That's. That's an interesting. Okay, just so you know, not yours, mine. Everything was in my name, and I was the one paying for the majority of things. Frank did help with occasional food, and his family would help dog sit. When we went out of town, we got engaged. But six months before the wedding, I called things off. There's much more to that, but ultimately we weren't the right match. When we split, he insisted that we share the dog. I told him that sharing a dog wasn't going to happen, and I wasn't going to have to explain to a different partner or my kids one day why the dog leaves every other week. Frank is a very immature and petty person. His costume for Halloween right after our breakup was him in the hospital gown. In a hospital gown with a sign that said sick of these hoes.
- [19:55]
Jared Freid
Sounds like you dodged a bullet with Frank.
- [19:57]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah, yeah. We were 30 at this time. About six months after the breakup, he changed his Facebook picture to a picture of one of him and my dog. I thought this was very weird and annoying. The two of us were not in contact and I blocked him on almost everything. Clearly forgot Facebook. I texted him that if he was doing it to piss me off, it worked. And now it's time to change the picture because he literally hasn't seen her in six months and she's my dog. He didn't reply. And after a month, it was still up. I was still so annoyed about this. Despite it being Facebook, it's not his dog. So I reported the photo to Facebook admin. Unfortunately, making your ex fiance's dog your profile picture doesn't break any real rules. So to this day, three years later, his profile picture is still him and my dog. So petty or prudent. I reported his Facebook picture because he's using my Dog for attention. Should I ask for dog support next? And then she shares the Halloween picture and the profile picture.
- [20:55]
Jared Freid
Yeah, we're looking at the picture. Even his, his like good looking guy. I expected him to be so much uglier. You're so right.
- [21:07]
Jordana Abraham
He's pretty good looking.
- [21:08]
Jared Freid
Based on this picture. Based on this description. I thought this was gonna like. It's funny what you see in your head.
- [21:14]
Jordana Abraham
A troll.
- [21:15]
Jared Freid
I saw a total troll. Loser. This guy. I can't believe she ended it. He's gorgeous. No, I'm kidding.
- [21:23]
Jordana Abraham
He's pretty hot.
- [21:24]
Jared Freid
He is a good looking dude.
- [21:26]
Jordana Abraham
The picture, I mean the sick of these hoes absurd.
- [21:28]
Jared Freid
But he, but his, he has a smirk that like if you saw him, he does look like the bad guy in a movie. Like his smirk in the picture with the dog.
- [21:37]
Jordana Abraham
He's that good looking.
- [21:38]
Jared Freid
He is that good looking. And it is one of those pictures that it does. I'm not even his ex fiance and it feels like he's doing this in spite of her. Like I could understand.
- [21:51]
Jordana Abraham
Like he's ready to get married.
- [21:53]
Jared Freid
No, not at all. I could understand why she took it personally. Like he even looks like he's looking directly. It's like the Mona Lisa. The eyes follow you. His eyes look like he's saying, that's right, it's your dog and I'm taking a picture with it. Like it's for her, right? It does feel for her. It feels pointed.
- [22:13]
Jordana Abraham
I agree. I do still think it's petty for her to like try to like bring in the Facebook to try to get. I do. Because like who cares if she broke up with him? I think you just have to eat a little bit. Like the person is the one that looks crazy. Like all of his friends who are friends with him. Again, this isn't even Instagram on Facebook. Like either like know that it's your dog or don't know anything about him. Like who cares? I do think it's kind of like I would need to. She doesn't say the reason they broke up, but I think if you break up with someone and they have some weird behavior, you kind of have to just let it slide because you're sort of the bad guy here.
- [22:53]
Jared Freid
I guess my, my response is like, is petty in response to petty prudent.
- [22:59]
Jordana Abraham
Is it petty to put the picture up though? Like he, like he clearly he like, I mean he looks great in the picture.
- [23:05]
Jared Freid
I think you're, I think you've been intoxicated by his, his good looks. I, I, I think you're I'm saying
- [23:10]
Jordana Abraham
I think he looks. I could see him like, he looks good in the picture. He really liked the dog. I think it's petty for him to try to take the dog when she's been clear the entire time that it's her dog. That I think is petty. The fact that he loves. He has fond memories of the dog. He likes the dog. He happens to look really good in the picture. If it was me, it was my ex's dog. Looks great in the picture.
- [23:29]
Jared Freid
He looks good in any picture. It doesn't matter what picture he takes. This guy's photogenic. He doesn't need this. Isn't him looking skinny in a picture. He looks skinny and in good shape in any picture he takes. I completely disagree. I think this is prudent for her because she does it quietly. She. She reported to Facebook she did it hoping for a change to his petty behavior.
- [23:53]
Jordana Abraham
What is petty about it, though?
- [23:54]
Jared Freid
It's petty that everyone knows you think
- [23:56]
Jordana Abraham
it's to annoy her.
- [23:57]
Jared Freid
Yeah, Facebook, as you said. You just said this. All the friends know it's her dog, so they know they've broken up.
- [24:06]
Jordana Abraham
Look weird, not her.
- [24:08]
Jared Freid
No, it makes her look like kind of the bad guy. Look, I'm here with the dog. I was ready to be a happy family. He's basically controlling the narrative with this picture.
- [24:19]
Jordana Abraham
I think it makes him look kind of pathetic.
- [24:21]
Jared Freid
Yeah, I think he's eating up being dumped. I think he's like weaponizing the victimhood of being dumped to garner support and blow jobs from other people who may be fished out by a picture like this. That's why he has the sign sick of these hoes. Hey, ladies. Hey, ladies. I'm sick of these hoes, cuz I was dumped.
- [24:45]
Jordana Abraham
Come here.
- [24:47]
Jared Freid
Open for business at the blowjob Factory.
- [24:50]
Jordana Abraham
I think that's kind of his right. He's single. I mean, I get these hoes would be a deal breaker for me. I wouldn't be into that. I don't think that's like a very mature. His hose is petty. I don't think the dog picture is petty. I think it's weird. I think if I were his friend, I'd be like, it's kind of weird that you have a picture up with your ex's dog. Like, you should probably move on. I think it makes him look like he's still like, obsessed with her.
- [25:15]
Jared Freid
I think it makes it look like he wants to hurt her and that's why he did it. He did it to her.
- [25:20]
Jordana Abraham
That's why anyone does anything.
- [25:22]
Jared Freid
Right, Right. Yeah, but I think that's so petty. Like, when you do something to hurt me and I just take the. The. I have these tools to report you without. It's not like she went online and did a video. Like, I think she did this as quietly as you could. She tried to take a chance and get it taken down in the way that. Didn't ask him to take it down. I, like, would ask him to take it down be better than going to Facebook.
- [25:49]
Jordana Abraham
I think she did ask him also.
- [25:51]
Jared Freid
Did she?
- [25:52]
Jordana Abraham
She asked him to. Yes.
- [25:54]
Jared Freid
Right. It's still his picture to this day.
- [25:56]
Jordana Abraham
He didn't reply. And after a month, it was still up. So my. After a month, he didn't take it down. She. Yeah, I think he looks like a little losery by. I mean, he looks great, but he looks a little losery. I think he looks a little losery by, like, keeping it up. I think it's like more of a. If I were her, I'd be like, you know, like, you say this about men in breakups. Like, they just want to get as far away from you as possible. If I were her, I'd be like, all right, let this, like, kind of like immature, illusory guy put. If that makes him feel better, to put the picture up of my dog, which is, again, my dog. It's not like he's trying to. If he was trying to take her to court to get the dog or get shared custody or venmoing her for, like, the money that he paid for his. That he thinks it was worth that his parents watched the dog while they were away, whatever. Like, that's all petty. But I think, like, if I were her, I would let it go.
- [26:50]
Jared Freid
I think she did let it go. I thought it was prudent to take one shot at getting this picture removed without making it everyone's problem. It's neither petty or prudent. I think her action of reporting it is justified, but not prudent. She didn't have to do it, but I also don't think it's petty of her to do.
- [27:14]
Jordana Abraham
Okay. What if she commented on the picture?
- [27:17]
Jared Freid
Hey, everybody, this my dog? Yeah, that'd be petty. That's that. Hey, everybody, this is my dog, and he's a huge loser. Right.
- [27:26]
Jordana Abraham
Hey, it's really weird that this is your profile picture. This is my. This is, like, my dog, and we're broken up. Would that be petty or prudent?
- [27:33]
Jared Freid
That'd be petty. It's just funny to me that she could be walking her Dog at someone. Be like, is that Frank's dog? What's he. Are you guys back together? Like, that's kind of. I don't know, people. No one cares.
- [27:46]
Jordana Abraham
Let's say you and Emily break up. What she puts up. She puts a picture of her and your mom up as her profile picture.
- [27:57]
Jared Freid
Her and my mom or her and my cell phone?
- [27:59]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah,
- [28:02]
Jared Freid
if it was her and my mom.
- [28:04]
Jordana Abraham
Or her. Let's say. Let's make it more realistic. More realistic. Let's say it's a picture of her and Ruthie. Oh, it's a picture of her and Ruthie. She, like, thinks she looks really. She thinks she looks great in it. It. She puts it up as her Facebook profile picture. I think you'd let it go.
- [28:17]
Jared Freid
I'd let it go. Yeah, you're right. I'd let it go. And I'd be like, you were like.
- [28:21]
Jordana Abraham
You were like. I don't think you could talk to Ruthie anymore.
- [28:23]
Jared Freid
She's right. If that's what she needs, I would let it go. You're right. I. I guess. You know, it's funny. Maybe I'm influenced by his looks as well. Like, his smirk with the dog is so shitt eating that it just. It is a little.
- [28:38]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah, such. It does feel more devious.
- [28:41]
Jared Freid
Right. And I'm happy she sent the pictures. She asked us not to share the pictures. But it, like.
- [28:47]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah, it just looks like the villain in, like a. In like a fraternity. In like a fraternity comedy.
- [28:53]
Jared Freid
He looks like the villain from Elle Woods. He looks like the. The ex boyfriend.
- [28:59]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah.
- [29:00]
Jared Freid
That went to Harvard.
- [29:02]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah.
- [29:02]
Jared Freid
All right, let's do another email. You ready?
- [29:04]
Jordana Abraham
That was fun one.
- [29:05]
Jared Freid
That was a good one. This episode is brought to you by State Farm.
- [29:12]
Jordana Abraham
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- [29:29]
Jared Freid
Download the State Farm app or go
- [29:30]
Jordana Abraham
online@statefarm.com like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. If you've ever blasted synth beats from your boombox or burned CDs for your besties, this one's for you. As people get older, much like their music tastes, their health needs change. AG1 is the simple daily health drink designed to deliver over 75 essential daily nutrients in pre and probiotics to support energy, digestion and mood so you can make the most out of every decade and dance break. Learn more@drinkag.1.com.
- [30:06]
Jared Freid
Do you hear that? Sounds like breakfast is ready because Quaker's coming in hot with morning nutrition, 100% whole grain oats and a good source of fiber to fuel the rhythm of your morning and kickstart your day. And that sounds absolutely delicious. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, Official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26. I'm 34 years old and found out my boyfriend, 35 of a year and a half, was cheating through some good old fashioned Internet detective work. It was a younger girl, 28, who My ex had followed on Instagram and told me not to worry about during Stage Coach Weekend, a musical festival I've. I've only. I've called music festival, but musical festival,
- [30:55]
Jordana Abraham
I. I've never heard that. It sounds like a. I think of like h. Like Hamilton, right?
- [31:00]
Jared Freid
A festival of all the musicals. Wicked was there and Hamilton. During Stage Coach Weekend, a musical festival. While we were fighting, I went to her PA and saw my boyfriend had taken her from her posting pictures nonstop cheating is a huge deal breaker for me. No, not for anyone else.
- [31:22]
Jordana Abraham
Wow.
- [31:23]
Jared Freid
So I called him out immediately. When he returned from Stagecoach, I went to his apartment to return his things and he tried telling me they were just friends, even though I was not about to buy that. But after we officially broke up, not even two hours later, I checked Instagram and she had hard launched him with pictures from Stagecoach. I'm still completely baffled a month later. Do Gen Z girls hard launch faster than Millennials? She is caught up on the wrong things. For some extra context, we were all at the same event at the end of March, so I know the most they could have dated is for a couple of weeks before she posted them at the end of April. Since there was a clearly an overlap, do I tell the other girl or since they. Since they're moving this crazy fast, should I just assume they love each other and not interfere as they gallop into the sunset?
- [32:13]
Jordana Abraham
I have news for her.
- [32:14]
Jared Freid
Yeah, you want to. Do you want to give it tough or light or. Okay, you go ahead.
- [32:19]
Jordana Abraham
My news for her is that this woman knew he had a girlfriend and they were dating for a while and then he told her you guys broke up and she's like, okay, great. Now we can. I can be public about our right relationship. I don't think she needs to be told anything.
- [32:36]
Jared Freid
She was literally the one telling him to end it with you so that they could be in a relationship. I mean, that of the series of options.
- [32:45]
Jordana Abraham
No, they've been dating for a long time, right?
- [32:47]
Jared Freid
Yes, he was telling her that it was over between you guys and you still. You're together, but you haven't slept together in a month and the relationship was gone, and now he's moved on to her and she's happy to have him. She doesn't care that he's a cheater and she'll. Yeah, maybe, or maybe not find out the hard way. Maybe they end up together, married, and this is their story and you're just a character that they talk about with their kids and they're like, yeah, he used to date this old woman and she was all angry about it at stage coach while we were falling in love. Maybe you're talked about in a way that would horrify you, but. And probably so. But this relationship you going and telling her will not be.
- [33:36]
Jordana Abraham
Be.
- [33:37]
Jared Freid
I don't know.
- [33:38]
Jordana Abraham
She already knows, my friend. She already knows to me.
- [33:41]
Jared Freid
You're at the party too long and everyone's trying to go to bed, and you're wondering, should I stay for another drink? And it's like, get out of that party. You're leave.
- [33:50]
Jordana Abraham
Yeah, I mean, it sucks. I'm sorry you were cheated on.
- [33:52]
Jared Freid
That's right.
- [33:53]
Jordana Abraham
That's really annoying. And it's very painful to be to. To have a breakup and then see pictures of someone of your ex in a new relationship the very same day. But that is what happens when someone is cheating and hasn't. Is basically in two relationships at the same time.
- [34:07]
Jared Freid
Right. And to, like, kind of like talk about this email a little bit deeper and to like, give her the hard truth and love, like, we're being jokey a little bit like, I'm sorry you were cheated on, but like, if you're with someone and you're arguing with them while looking at Instagram stories of from another woman that you assume he's dating and seeing him in those pictures and then seeing that they've now gotten in a relationship after that whole weekend, I think you need to, like, readjust your bearings. Like, I don't think you're. Yeah, I don't.
- [34:51]
Jordana Abraham
How did you get here?
- [34:51]
Jared Freid
How did you get here? Right, right, right, right, right. Like, I. I mean, it's easy to be like, he's cheating. He's an. They're together. She knew about it. Like, that's the easy answer. The tougher answer is how are you getting to the point with someone where you're believing they're going to be different for you than they've already been acting in the past? Like, you're fighting while at the same concert and you're seeing him with another woman and you're still talking like, maybe he's cheating, maybe he's not. Like, this isn't a real relationship. I would say to this person, I brought up my summer strut challenge. This person needs the summer strut challenge more than anyone else because she is considering junk relationships. Nutritional. And she needs to go to her nutritional relationships to know what it's like to be full and what it actually feels to be nourished by the people in your life. Because I think she doesn't know. She thinks that his McDonald's is the same as her family and friends. And the chicken. Grilled chicken over a salad. Do you know what I mean?
- [36:09]
Jordana Abraham
Yes. You are the Alex Turoff of relationships.
- [36:12]
Jared Freid
That's right.
- [36:12]
Jordana Abraham
You're going to change the way she gets her nutritional dating needs met. Two hard boiled eggs at the Delta Lounge.
- [36:21]
Jared Freid
A third, but only the egg white and then a banana for fiber. Yeah.
- [36:26]
Jordana Abraham
Yes. So what is, what is her version of that?
- [36:29]
Jared Freid
It's a walk with old friends. Her version. She needs to go on a walk. She needs to do the 12 week summer strut challenge. She needs to go on a walk with 12 different people who she has real relationships with to realize that you were not with someone who made you feel good. You were chasing some, some dream of a relationship that you were never going to have. And you're 34. You're. You're 34. Okay? So you're, you need to like. And I think this does happen in your 30s where you get used to, you're, you're dating so much and you're trying to find a boyfriend, you're trying to find a girlfriend, you're trying to find a relationship, you're trying to settle down. So you're like, not even considering. Are these relationships filling you up? Are you being yourself?
- [37:13]
Jordana Abraham
If you're starving, you're gonna eat whatever is thrown at you.
- [37:16]
Jared Freid
Right?
- [37:17]
Jordana Abraham
Right.
- [37:19]
Jared Freid
And that's what she's doing. She's. She is acting out of desperation and trying. Also, you're, you're with a guy, 35, who's going to Stagecoach. I mean, like, we should be talking shit about music festival, musical festivals at this point. We shouldn't be. Right. Don't you think this 12 week challenge would be helpful for her?
- [37:39]
Jordana Abraham
I think it would be helpful. I would put this relationship to bed. Don't be DMing anyone. Cut the cord. Block everyone involved. Block every single person involved and move on and go on some struts.
- [37:51]
Jared Freid
This is the equivalent of you asking Should I go clean up the bathroom at the McDonald's? Because it I noticed there was a mess there. They may not have noticed it. No. Get the out of there. Get out.
- [38:01]
Jordana Abraham
Let's not be a problem.
- [38:02]
Jared Freid
Let them clean it. They work there. That's theirs now. Goodbye. So we solved dating again.
- [38:07]
Jordana Abraham
We did it. We did it. Proud of us. We'll be back next week. Boom.
- [38:13]
Jared Freid
Buy my book please. The first time I ever called a girl I liked, I had to use the phone book. I was in middle school. Her name was Morgan Marks and I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend. My 12 year old logic was sound. She lived near me and she was like cute, but not in a way that made every other prepubescent guy obsessed with her. That's the play for any self conscious middle school boy. Find someone who you can see yourself hanging around Aeropostale with for two or three weekends, who's also totally pretty but not so popular that you ever have to find out how you stack up against literally anyone else. Her name wasn't really Morgan Marks for privacy stuff, but you bet your ass I remember her name in this audiobook. I'll never use real names. I can't shake the idea of a woman in the suburbs being bothered by this audiobook while trying to get an iPad out of her kid's hands before bed. Once I decided I was going to call, I thought about it the whole day. My life was going to change. It was the 12 year old equivalent of buying a peloton. You know how you start imagining yourself with abs and hanging out at the beach? Like totally. Let's take more pictures of ourselves. Well, that was me. Except instead of confident swimsuit posts, I had visions of us holding hands in the hallway and slow dancing at parties. This was it. I was about to move from an adolescent side character into the cool, confident main character of maturity. I was going to be dating someone as soon as I got home from school. I went up to my room. I practiced saying hi, is Morgan home? And would you want to be my girlfriend? Over and over and over again until I felt sure I couldn't mess it up. I got her number from the previously mentioned phone book and picked up my house's second phone line. Do you remember the second line? When a call came through and someone was already on the phone, the call would push through to the other line. Our second line was one number away from our first line. 9022 and 9021 yes. Like 90210 yes. I used that as A pickup line multiple times in high school and maybe a couple of days ago at a bar in the West Village. For some reason, I decided that it would be safer to use the second line to permanently alter the trajectory of my existence. I picked up that receiver and started to dial. Almost the instant I pushed the seventh and final number, my mom picked up the phone. Jared, who are you calling? Why are you on the second line? She screamed. She continued yelling questions in rapid succession and increasing volume without leaving any space for me to answer more accusations than inquiries in classic Jewish mom style. Jared. Jared, answer me. Who are you calling? Do you know this is the second line? Why aren't you answering me? Then Morgan's mom picked up. Hello? Who's this? It's Kim. Who is this? I threw down the receiver, sweating and panting as if I'd just outrun a murderer. I could still hear my mom on the floor below. Who is this? Eventually she yelled up the stairs. Jared, why are you calling the Marxes? It was an accident. I lied to my mother for the first and only time ever in my life. That's a lie. Why are you even on the phone? I ignored her and started playing video games, refusing to so much as look at the phone on the other side of the room. To me, the three way call disaster was a sign and a warning. A bad thing had happened, so that romantic prospect was over. I never told anyone what happened. I never called back. I never asked Morgan out at all. The end. I know what you're thinking. Did this idiot just start an audiobook about modern dating with a story about using a landline to dial a number he found in the phone book? To not actually ask someone out? Yeah, I did. Because the dating advice, I think, is most important is at its core, timeless. Number one, most romantic disasters make good stories. Number two, you should always try again. I guess technically the message of this story could be summed up as don't be a middle school boy about shit. But I would hope that's a code you're already living by as I speak to you now. We are in the mid-2020s and we are living in an absolutely bonkers era of dating. In the past 20 years, we've gone from calling crushes on landlines to poking them on Facebook, to saying, ew, they still have Facebook. To scrolling, to swiping, to watching their stories, to liking those stories, to flirting in the comments section of a TikTok standup clip about gender reveal parties. And because the trends and platforms move and change so fast, it can feel like we're constantly playing catch up. It's like you learn something new every day, except it's always about dating and it's going to be irrelevant tomorrow. On top of that, this onslaught of change means there's a big market for advice on how to handle it. Sometimes that advice can feel more confusing and guilt inducing than the actual dating world itself. There are listicles and relationship therapists and any motherfucker with a podcast out there making a lot of money telling you how wrong you are about something and how much your romantic situation is your own fault. But dealing with all this is not as simple as just plugging your ears and going la la la la. Anytime someone talks about dating. Dating is a huge part of life. We don't do it in a vacuum. We want to learn from and quietly laugh at other people's experiences while taking lessons from them and feeling glad we're not them. Which is, I'm guessing, a big part of why you're listening to this audiobook. You've either committed fully and already gotten the whole thing, or you're listening to a free trial. I don't know where you are, but you're deciding right now, do I want to listen to this book? And you're doing it. Maybe at a gate while you wait for the flight to Charleston, while you inhale a cold $20 chicken salad sandwich. Either way, you're the kind of person who sees nine hours of dating advice and thinks there might be something for me here. That or you hated me in college and you were like, this idiot has an audiobook and you started listening so you could take a screenshot to send to a huge group chat of people who will discuss how little I banged and question why anyone would ask that guy who frequently wore three polos with all the collars popped what he thought about dating, in which case, hi, I'd probably do the same, but joke's on you because they paid me a lot of money for this. No matter who you are, I want to start off by saluting you, my comrade in the dating trenches, for deciding that your friend who got married to their third grade sweetheart but still has really loud Tinder opinions at the brunch table probably isn't the best source of advice on how to text someone back. And yeah, I just did the thing where I kind of compared dating to war, but not because I think love is gruesome or that texting requires boot camp training at West Point, or because I wanted you to know that I'm masculine enough to put the words Boot Camp and West Point in my book Twice Ladies, Is my penis big enough yet? Okay, I'll stop. To me, the dating is a battlefield stuff rings true because it's all so fucking messy and confusing. That and it has led to many good hot people to get really bad haircuts. And don't worry, this book wasn't written from the other side. It wasn't written from a dining room table at the home I've built with my soulmate and two kids in Live Life Love Connecticut. It didn't get written from a working vacation on the beaches of Cannes with my beautiful girlfriend walking funny because the 30 carat diamond ring I'm about to propose with is weighing down my right pocket. I didn't even write this from the bed of a successful friends with benefits situation that I finally figured out how to make not weird. Nope. I wrote this book in the notes app of my phone while sitting on the toilet inside a 700 square foot studio apartment that I I rented. I'm about as far from a high horse as you can get. I'm right there with you. I'm here to make you sigh. A big old sigh of I'm not alone relief. I'm here to be relatable. Not in the oh wow, they have the hair, skin and bank account of my wildest dreams. But sometimes they also say you too when the Uber driver tells them to have a nice flightway. It's more in a I have also worn a swimsuit as underwear to work because I'm behind on laundry and don't totally understand what a 401k is way. I think a lot of our collective anxiety from dating stems from the feeling that we are the only people in the world who feel certain things, act in certain ways, or have certain ideas about how things should be. I'm here to reassure you that that is entirely wrong. No one is better than you. No one has this shit figured out. And critically, no one is thinking about you and your dating life that much. And before you call me out in the comments, that's not supposed to be harsh honesty. That's supposed to be freeing honesty. The lies we tell ourselves don't always make us feel better. In a lot of cases, they make us feel worse and more alone. I hope this audiobook can give you honesty in a way that makes you feel more confident that it can free you from berating yourself for hours worrying. Maybe I messed up that text I just sent. Because you didn't. I promise you didn't mess up anything.
- [49:39]
Jordana Abraham
Okay, but who Are you?
- [49:42]
Jared Freid
Whoa. Hey.
- [49:44]
Jordana Abraham
Hi.
- [49:45]
Jared Freid
Who are you?
- [49:47]
Jordana Abraham
I asked you first.
- [49:49]
Jared Freid
Yeah, but you just kind of showed up in my audiobook and I'm the
- [49:55]
Jordana Abraham
voice of every woman reading and or listening. Almost kinda. You can call me Vera. It's almost kind of an acronym. Voice of every woman reading and or listening. Almost kind of. Vera.
- [50:10]
Jared Freid
Hey, Vera. That's a clever thing you did there with the name.
- [50:14]
Jordana Abraham
Thank you. I was almost named. The women listening now are thinking. But the almost kind of acronym for that is Twalmat. So yes, Vera is better.
- [50:26]
Jared Freid
Yes. Yes, it is.
- [50:28]
Jordana Abraham
I'm here so that you can address questions or concerns or thoughts that the listener might have without having to say. And I know you might be thinking 3,700 times over the course of the audiobook.
- [50:40]
Jared Freid
That is super helpful. I was concerned about that. I know, because you're me.
- [50:47]
Jordana Abraham
Technically, yes.
- [50:50]
Jared Freid
But you're also the listener.
- [50:52]
Jordana Abraham
Yes.
- [50:54]
Jared Freid
Okay, cool, cool. And you're going to be hanging out the whole audiobook when it's helpful.
- [51:01]
Jordana Abraham
Like if you say something dumb and need an excuse to explain further.
- [51:05]
Jared Freid
Awesome.
- [51:07]
Jordana Abraham
Can I ask my question now?
- [51:10]
Jared Freid
Yes, of course.
- [51:12]
Jordana Abraham
Who are you? More specifically, who the hell are you to be giving anyone advice?
- [51:19]
Jared Freid
This is a very fair question, Vera. Listener. Given my less than impressive stats and opener, I can appreciate that I might not feel like the most comforting guide for this high stakes journey. Imagine your mom asking, oh, what are you listening to? And you'd have to say something like, I'm learning how to date better from a 40 year old man who wrote most of his books shirtless in a studio apartment with nothing on the walls and sheets that get washed bimonthly. Obviously don't actually tell her that we want her to live to her next birthday so she can passive aggressively say, should I wish for my daughter to find someone right before she blows out her candles. It's not even a studio apartment with an alcove, which honestly, I'm not embarrassed about. Nobody is more annoying than a person with an alcove. Studio. We get it. You found a weirdly shaped apartment that helps you feel less like you sleep next to your stovetop. Imagine an apartment shaped like a shoebox where there is a couch next to the bed and absolutely no room for a coffee table. That's where I've written this book that you found in the self help section. If we went out, had a few drinks and then came back to my place, I think that you'd react differently depending on your age. If you're in your early 20s, you'd be like, wow, he doesn't have a roommate. Did I just sleep with Christian Grey? But any woman who has filed more than five years of income tax returns would probably wake up and think, is this where my life really is right now? I thought I'd be married with kids in the suburbs, but. But I just hooked up with a guy whose sheets smell like an under dried towel. He has a photo of himself next to a portrait of Tom Brady, and they're not even hung up. They're just leaning against the wall like that's the same thing. He can't even hang up a photo. He can't even hire a task rabbit to hang up the photo that he can't hang up. And I'm expecting this to go somewhere. Honestly, I don't know who is worse off right now. Me, a guy who just realized all his socks are in the hamper, so I'm going to have to go sockless in the middle of winter until I decide to do laundry, or you, the person who is taking my advice to become a better dater. And look, I'm not trying to scare you away. I'm trying to lightly shake the romanticism out of you. I'm a normal guy. Which means I can help you figure out some of the whys you wanted from your ex during the breakup. The answers he was never going to give. Because sometimes it's just too hard to say outright that you like someone, but you'll never marry them. I know that stung. I'm sorry. Remember how my apartment's so small, sometimes I roll over in bed to get my phone and accidentally grab a spatula that still has some egg on it from yesterday? Feel better. Okay, good. I know this because I've been talking about dating for more than a decade. My podcasts have millions of listeners, and I've sold out shows across the country. Yes, I'm bragging. I'm not going to serve you up some bullshit like I'm just trying to make you feel confident in my credentials. I'm straight up bragging because I know my sh.
- [54:48]
Jordana Abraham
Batches.