Would You Date Someone Who Sees Their Ex Every Month?

Summary

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U Up? – Episode Summary: “Would You Date Someone Who Sees Their Ex Every Month?”

Hosts: Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: July 22, 2026
Main Theme: Navigating relationships and boundaries—especially when it comes to exes, modern dating red flags, awkward encounters, and the art of striking balance between personal needs and social expectations in love and family life.

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Episode Overview

This episode dives deep into the messy realities of modern dating, focusing particularly on the complicated question: Would you date someone who still sees their ex every month? Alongside listener dilemmas and signature banter, Jordana and Jared tackle situations involving exes, pet custody post-breakup, small talk with in-laws, and the expectations we set for partners and ourselves. The duo also explores the difference between healthy boundaries and rudeness, share funny anecdotes about parenting, travel mishaps, and dissect why certain dating “icks” matter (or don’t).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Summer Dating & Dating App Detox

[09:09 – 10:42]

• Jordana proposes: Delete dating apps for the rest of the year, meet people in real life, and reload them in January.
• Jared agrees: “Get outside. Delete the apps for the rest of the year. Download them again in January.” (09:32)
• Both reflect on the social opportunities and loneliness that can arise in summer, especially if you didn’t plan ahead.

2. Family Dynamics, Boundaries, and In-Law Awkwardness

[41:40 – 56:36]

• A listener email describes her fiancé avoiding her mom when she visits, sparking a rich discussion about family boundaries.
• Jared on boundaries: “There’s a thin line between boundary-setting and being rude, in my opinion.” (44:17)
• Strategies to ease awkwardness included clear communication, setting expectations, and finding the balance between comfort and courtesy.

3. Travel, Road Trips, and Couples’ Games

[11:00 – 15:20]

• Jared shares upcoming road trip plans, while Jordana recommends the “Movie Game” as a fun couple’s bonding activity.
• Both reminisce about road trip snacks, with Dunkin’ Donuts muffins and combos getting special mention.

4. The Internet & Dating App ‘Bouncers’

[07:30 – 09:10]

• The hosts muse over whether access to dating apps (and the internet) should require a license or some form of vetting/bouncer—which would, in theory, keep out the “bots and crazies.”
• Jordana: “You have to take a driving test to drive a car… why not for apps?” (08:11)

5. Listener Story: Awkward One-Night Stand with Ex’s Friend

[29:26 – 36:24]

• A listener confesses to hooking up with her ex-boyfriend’s best friend and describes the guilt and ongoing complications.
• Jared: “The mistake was made by the friend. She doesn’t owe her ex anything.” (30:49)
• The hosts discuss male vs. female perspectives on one-night stands and the “boxes” people put romantic partners in: boyfriend, one-night-stand, etc.

6. Would You Date Someone Who Sees Their Ex Every Month?

[79:35 – 82:52]

• The central dilemma. Listener writes in: she met a man (37) who ended a 10-year relationship a year ago, claims to have no feelings for his ex, but still sees her monthly.
• Jared: “It’s the same thing as the dog walker. Can you let go of the past?” (81:37)
• Jordana: “Do you see anyone once a month?” (81:17)

7. Pet Custody After Breakup

[58:37 – 66:09]

• Listener is still helping care for her ex's dog multiple times a week after their breakup, and wonders how that would look to future suitors.
• Jared: “Are you over this phase of your life? …A big part of your life is taking care of a dog that's not yours.” (62:24)
• Jordana: “Compromise is key in dating. If you’re not willing to, you’ll have less matches, less dates, less connection.” (65:53)

8. Red Flag or Deal Breaker Game

[66:29 – 79:27]

• Highlights:
  • Prescription requests on first dates: One woman shares a Bumble chat where a man persistently jokes (and then asks) for Adderall for a bachelor party—hosts agree: “Deal breaker!” (71:43)
  • Refusal to make the bed: Host and listener agree a messy bed for a planned sleepover isn’t a deal-breaker, but signals a lack of effort—suggest reframing requests as personal preferences rather than shame or comparisons.
  • Exes as friends: See above on monthly ex meetups.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

On Modern Dating and Annoying Texts

• Jared [20:36]: "Do you think this is the worst text you could ever receive? 'Please tell me your calendar is clear the morning of Friday, October 30th.'"
• Jordana [21:26]: "Say what for—before I tell you if I'm free!"

On Family Boundaries

• Jared [44:05]: “There’s a thin line between boundary, having good boundaries and being rude, in my opinion.”
• Jordana [48:28]: “There's a middle ground here where he can still not spend all day with her and show enough effort to make her feel welcome.”

On Staying Close with an Ex's Pet

• Jared [62:24]: “Are you over this phase of your life? ...A big part of your life is taking care of a dog that’s not yours.”
• Jordana [65:53]: “Anytime you say I’m not willing to do [blank] in dating, that’s a bigger red flag. There are consequences.”

On Being Friends with an Ex

• Jared [81:01]: “Is this friendship that you’re keeping up a crutch because you haven’t been able to go out on your own?”
• Jordana [81:17]: “Do you see anyone once a month?”

On Pet Peeves and Etiquette

• Jared [73:54]: (On “making your bed”) "This is the speech I’m going to give at my Needham High Distinguished Career Award."

On One-Night Stands and Sex

• Jared [38:04]: “This [‘sex-for-one-night-only’] fantasy is a male fantasy because it forces communication that would be uncomfortable for a man to have.”
• Jordana [39:45]: “A woman might appreciate [honesty], but there’s danger in bringing that up for sure.”

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:33 – 02:22: Light intro, parenting and patience
• 07:30 – 09:10: Should there be a “license” for dating apps?
• 09:10 – 10:42: The case for deleting apps and IRL summer dating
• 11:00 – 15:20: Road trip games, snack debates, and relationship bonding
• 29:26 – 36:24: Listener story—One night stand with the ex’s best friend
• 41:40 – 56:36: Icky or picky – In-law avoidance, boundaries, and compromise
• 58:37 – 66:09: Dog custody post-breakup and dating implications
• 66:29 – 79:27: Red Flag or Deal Breaker game (Adderall ask, messy sheets, ex hangouts)
• 79:35 – 82:52: Central “would you date…” dilemma—monthly meet-ups with an ex

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Tone & Style

The hosts maintain their trademark mix of wit, warmth, and zero-filter honesty. They toggle seamlessly between empathetic advice, self-deprecating stories, and sharp comedic asides.

• Jared is the more boisterous, comedic (sometimes blunt) voice, eager to cut through to the emotional underbelly but always with a joke at hand.
• Jordana offers measured, pragmatic insights and often reframes sticky social situations with empathy and logic.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Seeing an ex monthly? Context and nuance matter—a broad “never” is as unhelpful as “always.”
• Boundaries aren’t rude, but communication is everything.
• Pet custody post-breakup: If you’re not willing to compromise, be ready for consequences in dating pool.
• Effort matters more than perfection—in bed-making, manners, and meeting the parents.
• Don’t ignore the “ick”—but don’t shame, either: Personalize your feedback and keep redemption possible.
• Red flags or deal breakers: There’s usually more than one right answer—so ask, listen, and trust your instincts.

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For dating musings, community polls, and bonus content, follow @u.up.podcast on Instagram or subscribe for extra episodes.

Transcript

[Jared Freid]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

of $45 for three months, $90 for six months or $180 for a 12 month plan. Required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees. Extra initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. Me slow when network. Hello.

[Jordana Abraham]

Welcome back to the UF podcast. I'm Jordana Abraham.

[Jared Freid]

And I am Jared Freed. It is so good to be back here with you, Jordana. How are you? What's going on? What's the haps?

[Jordana Abraham]

I am good. I'm toasty. My, my daughter took a in the bath last night, so I'm.

[Jared Freid]

The bath.

[Jordana Abraham]

The bath? Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Wow, that's as gross as it gets. It can get gross.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it can get grosser.

[Jared Freid]

Does the other baby look at her and be like what the. Like are they in theater together?

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, we do like one at a time.

[Jared Freid]

One at a time.

[Jordana Abraham]

But she had us already out of the bath so she didn't care.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, yeah, the bath.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I mean actually when I was think I was thinking about the fact that she. The bath and I was thinking like you would actually be a really good dad because I just feel like you would be like unfazed by like anything.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, no, no, none of that.

[Jordana Abraham]

There would be like nothing they could do that you would be like gross.

[Jared Freid]

Truly not bothered. Like yeah, gross. No, I mean again like if you're on your way out and you got your suit on for your big interview, right. You don't want to be like yeah, like, but like I think you would

[Jordana Abraham]

just with it cuz also cuz I feel like you have a lot of experience traveling when a lot of annoying happens.

[Jared Freid]

Oh my God. I mean like my whole travel advice is lay in the river and let it take you away. Like there is no like I, I think I.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's a good motto for parenthood as well.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. I think I, I, I try. I would, I would hope to abide by that. I don't know what could change, you know, from now till then. But like I, you know, nothing. I'm, I'm like I've always the one because I come on here and rant. Maybe people wouldn't expect this to like, maybe people think I'm like higher maintenance

[Jordana Abraham]

maybe than you would think.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But I, I have, I have a lot. Patience has always been something I've been, I felt I've had. Yeah, patience.

[Jordana Abraham]

But I agree with that.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Like, I don't especially like travel. I don't know. Like, crying baby on a plane I think is like the most thing to get annoyed about. I don't think anyone's ever been annoyed by that. Like, I, I. In what sense? Like, when is it not the person who sucks and not the baby?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, that, that that person sucks. In other. If you're annoyed at baby crying on a plane, I think there's a high correlation with you and being awful. Like, Right. People don't want you at their wedding.

[Jordana Abraham]

What about, what about the. You ever see those things, like those New York Post Post articles that are basically like the mo. This mom asked me to switch seats with her so that I could like her, so she could sit with her family or with the daughter, and I said no. You ever see those? They're like, they come up all the time.

[Jared Freid]

Those articles always surprise me because I'm like, I'm like you. What you end up finding from those articles is like, in the comment section, like, that there are communities you didn't know existed.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, what?

[Jared Freid]

So it's like they're like the woman who didn't want to switch seats with the mom. Then. Then there's the people who are like, the. I'm not. What is it called? The not having babies community. Like, the child free by child free by choice. All of a sudden, the child free by choice. People come in and they're like, yeah, now, like, the woman who wouldn't change, she's got an army full of miserables that are going to defend her to the death. And then, like, then you have the people who are the moms. Now you have the mom army who are like, you got to sit with your kid and your husband. You got to lean shoulder, you know,

[Jordana Abraham]

like, and they're both insane. Would you give up your seat for, for a child, For a child to

[Jared Freid]

sit with their mom to sit with their mom? I probably would.

[Jordana Abraham]

Really?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. That. I think mid. Is it middle seat. Like, here's a. This is the part that it gets me annoyed.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just in the middle seat? No.

[Jared Freid]

Like, well, do I go, are you asking me to switch from my aisle to your child's middle so that you can like, to me, like, you're being a menace to society? Like, who's the in The. In the. Who's the. In that scenario?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I would say that there's like a very high, like, rate for someone who doesn't consider the type of seat they're asking to switch. If it's middle for middle.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Who cares?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Aisle for aisle. If it's aisle for window, I would have to have that person go, listen, I don't know if you're an aisle person, but I got this window seat. Like, this is the thing about, like, these. These articles that get posted that get, like, people enraged and taking a team like they do.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, that's why we all see them.

[Jared Freid]

We all see them. And you're like, what was like, did the person not. And then you see a comment from someone going aisle for aisle. Like, I would never switch. And you're like, in the calmness of real conversation, you would never switch.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, Right.

[Jared Freid]

That's why, like, I come. I really do believe, like, a lot of these are bots. Like, I like, if I really went down the conspiracy theory, I think there's

[Jordana Abraham]

a lot more thing. I actually think there's a lot more crazy people than you think there are. But we now live in a time where they're all visible to us. Whereas 50 years ago, you wouldn't know if someone would make that sort of comment because you just, like, would. There'd be nowhere to see it.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And I do think. I think to that point, there's a lot more, like, people acting like they're the joker. Like, they just want to see people rage.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, they just want to see. They just want to say the thing that is watch the world burn. Right? And just watch the world, bro. They just. Like, I had. I posted something from my New York City. I posted all the new. All the book talks, the Q A.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I posted the DC Q A and the New York Q a on my YouTube. You can go watch, like, all these people that came to the book doc walking, red flag, the book is out. You can buy it. I would love for you to check it out. Love for you. If you bought it, share it with a friend. Tell someone. But it. I, you know, the. If he wanted to, he would. And someone asked, what do you think of if. If he wanted to, he would. And I give a full answer. And this is how I feel. And there was a guy that commented, can you explain if he. What that is?

[Jordana Abraham]

What what is?

[Jared Freid]

If he wanted to, he would. And I'm like, well, the first of all, the explanation is in.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? It's in the title.

[Jared Freid]

It's like, I don't know what.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's pretty on the nose.

[Jared Freid]

Like, like, and then I responded, I was like, it's a pretty viral.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

It will. I went in the other direction. I was like, it's kind of a thing, like, Google it. Google, like it's, it's a viral thing. And then the guy wrote back like, well, obviously it's not if I don't know it. And the people who liked my comment don't know it. Five people had liked his comment and now I'm sitting there being like, what

[Jordana Abraham]

am I doing with my dad engaging with you?

[Jared Freid]

Why am I engaged? Right? Like, and it's like, I think like I was looking at that and I was like, like, I, I. There's so many things where it's like you're explaining things to people who are just with you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

They have to be or they're not someone you would converse with just in an everyday basis.

[Jordana Abraham]

But don't you think it's weird that you now like that person even has access to, to you?

[Jared Freid]

Well, I think that you should have, you should have to have a license to go on the Internet.

[Jordana Abraham]

I totally agree.

[Jared Freid]

I think it's crazy that you could be talking to a 15 year old who's like, what's. If he wanted it, he would.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Like verify literally verified as like a human person above a certain age.

[Jared Freid]

Wouldn't that be great for dating apps?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's coming.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, it's got to come. Like, I think you have a, you need a license to get in a car, to drive a car. Why shouldn't you need a license to go on the Internet? Why shouldn't you need. Why isn't there a, a bouncer for

[Jordana Abraham]

all these dating apps you have to take to pass?

[Jared Freid]

Well, a dating app is just anyone can walk on like.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And then they, well then it would become this kind of moral.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean, you have to take a driving test to drive a car.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But, and then, but that's created by a government agency. Like I think a dating app, it would be like, who's to say who's right. Able to date. Not.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, because dating seems like more of a fundamental right than driving.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But you do have a bouncer at your bar. Hey, you're not, you don't. And then, but that gets into a lot of like, I mean, the club.

[Jordana Abraham]

Club bouncer.

[Jared Freid]

Club bouncer. Those people. But that was pretty. Yeah, I think a lot of people would want that on a dating app for sure. A dating app. Bouncer.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. And I think all, I think actually a lot of Dave dating apps start by purporting to do that. Like you have, you know, like Raya or the league. What was. It was like we're only taking like very elite groups of people and they start off by doing that and people like that gets them users and then eventually they need money. So they're like, everyone is a, you know what I mean? Like everyone is eventually able to get onto that.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I mean this could go down so many roads. But I, I, I do think right now, this time of year, like we're talking about dating apps, but like it's hot out and we are like deep in summer. I think this is like go out to a bar season and go out.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Get outside. Delete.

[Jordana Abraham]

Delete the apps for the rest of the year. Download them again in January.

[Jared Freid]

Download. Is that. I, I think that's a good, I think that's good.

[Jordana Abraham]

Give yourself six months to. It's it, you know, it's July.

[Jared Freid]

You got time.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. To just try it naturally.

[Jared Freid]

Why not?

[Jordana Abraham]

See what happens.

[Jared Freid]

All natural.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

The old fashioned way, I think. I mean we're looking at right now it's July 22nd and it's like you're, you know, and then when you get

[Jordana Abraham]

back on, you'll be like excited to like see who here. The summer broke up over the holidays.

[Jared Freid]

I think the problem with the summer is it can be lonely because if you didn't plan the trips already.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, you're like, what am I even going to do? Like, I mean, New York right now, like, it's, you know, I used to love this time in New York because weekends would empty out and there was like a chance for random. Like it wasn't like if I, if you end up staying in your home, in your town that you live in, everyone that like kind of leaves and made their plans, like all the nerds who like got ahead and made a schedule.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

They're out of the picture.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are those people nerds or are they like fun? I made a plan.

[Jared Freid]

I was, you know, planning. You know, there's a, you know, there's, you can find.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's a convenient way to put them. Right. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Well, to me, I'm like, excuse to

[Jordana Abraham]

tell your girlfriend for why you didn't plan a summer trip.

[Jared Freid]

This is it.

[Jordana Abraham]

I look like a nerd who makes plans in advance.

[Jared Freid]

We're going on a road trip, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

You said it's coming up.

[Jordana Abraham]

Road trip.

[Jared Freid]

We're going to do an east coast road trip. Any suggestion have you done a road trip with Mike?

[Jordana Abraham]

Not like a. Not like as long as the one you're talking about.

[Jared Freid]

We're going to. From Philly to Florida.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's far. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

That's a long trip.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's. You're doing over. How many nights are you. Are you staying?

[Jared Freid]

We're gonna, like, stretch it out. I'd like to just stretch it out. Like, I'd like. I think we want to stop in, like, you know, in Virginia and then stop in, like, Charleston. I'm gonna go to my buddy Keith's place.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's fun. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

With Savannah, we want to do St. Augustine.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're gonna have a lot, lot of time in the car. That's gonna be a lot of time.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, we're gonna do a lot of I Spy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you listen to music? Are you podcast music? Who gets to pick?

[Jared Freid]

You know, sometimes we do standup specials.

[Jordana Abraham]

Really?

[Jared Freid]

Like, we'll watch them together as. Or like, listen to them as the.

[Jordana Abraham]

I've never listened to a spent stand up special without watching it.

[Jared Freid]

You could watch it. Like, some specials are. You'd need to watch it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you drive the whole way?

[Jared Freid]

I like to drive.

[Jordana Abraham]

So you will drive the whole way?

[Jared Freid]

I'm a man. That's right.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, you're not taking turns.

[Jared Freid]

One of those things that I. No, no, this is. I don't know. I. I like to drive.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

But I would let. I mean, I would let her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, she'll be a passenger. Princess.

[Jared Freid]

That's right. And my. My baby.

[Jordana Abraham]

Mike and I like, we like the movie game. You know the movie.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. No, you don't know what the movie game is? What's the movie game?

[Jordana Abraham]

Movie game is, like, I say an actor, and then you have to name a movie that they're in, and then I have to name another actor in that movie and so on and so forth.

[Jared Freid]

And whoever can't do it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Whoever can't do it, then you get

[Jared Freid]

an M. This is stuff that I'm really bad at.

[Jordana Abraham]

You both. You have to both be into, like, actors and movies. But, like, sometimes. But now. Now that we get to know, like, the. When we were beginning. When we first started dating, it was kind of like a free for all. But now I know what kind of movies he's. He knows, like, action movies and action characters. So he'll try to lead me down that road to win. And I'll do, like, actresses over 50, because I know he doesn't know any movies that, like, Diane Keaton was in.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

So.

[Jared Freid]

So you just, like, you make your way to First Wives Club.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. There's more strategy now.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Now that you know the other person's weaknesses.

[Jared Freid]

Right. No, this is so outside of what I'd be good at.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I would give up. You're an I Spy crew at my, My, my. Like the second movie. I'd. By that time, I'd be like the guy from the thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And then just keep yelling at the thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

With the guy, I'd sound like my parents.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, so you're. So you will play games, though. You'll play I Spy.

[Jared Freid]

I. I Spy, I think a podcast, music 21 questions. We'll. We'll do all that stuff.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

A lot of. Lot of stops for snacks. Discussing the snacks.

[Jordana Abraham]

What's your favorite, like, disgusting road stop snack food?

[Jared Freid]

I. I love a combos.

[Jordana Abraham]

Combos. I've never been Combos. What is. Oh, like. Oh, I thought it was a. I thought it was a fast food place. Combos.

[Jared Freid]

I know combo pretzel outside, baby puke inside.

[Jordana Abraham]

But you're. What if you're stopping at one of those, like, places that have, like, the McDonald's and the Sparrow and, like, all the other shit?

[Jared Freid]

Weirdly, for someone that loves to pig out, like me.

[Jordana Abraham]

You don't like any of that?

[Jared Freid]

Not. Not for me.

[Jordana Abraham]

What do you like if I'm going to stop somewhere? I like a Chick Fil.

[Jared Freid]

A Chick Fil A is good because it doesn't feel as somehow for whatever.

[Jordana Abraham]

It feels not as.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, right. Like, if I like the Chick Fil A grilled nuggets. You put the sauce on those. Yeah, that's like delete. Like, that's like. That's like a really, like, would order

[Jordana Abraham]

that at a restaurant, perhaps.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Jordana Abraham]

I also like a Dunkin Donuts muffin. Depending on the time.

[Jared Freid]

Donuts muffin with the, with the. The hardened crystal sugar on the top. Yes, that top of the Dunkin Donuts muffin. I can taste it right now.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's really good.

[Jared Freid]

It's really good.

[Jordana Abraham]

With a coffee.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I would go muffin over donut. I would go bagel over donut.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I wouldn't. I don't want a donut. But a good, like, coffee cake muffin or chocolate chip with the coffee. It's good.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. My mom gets a lot of muffins and I. I think she still thinks they're healthy. Like. Oh, like, she's still, like, in the 19, early 1990s. Muffins are, like, healthy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, you had, like, brand muffins. I think those were supposed to Be help.

[Jared Freid]

Do you ever have a grilled muffin?

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

That is like a New York City. You just shook her head. That's a very. It's just a very New York City like muffin top. It's a muffin they split in half and then they put it on the griddle with butter and it is like just very city breakfast thing. We have a picture of it. It's.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, I think.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely.

[Jordana Abraham]

I didn't. It's called. What is it called? A muffin.

[Jared Freid]

Just a grilled muffin. Oh, it just feels very New York to me. Very diner.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I'm surprised I haven't heard of it.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, a grilled muffin would be like. I would now. I want one now.

[Jordana Abraham]

Next time.

[Jared Freid]

I just like grilled muffin. I can see the person who would have it and they're like, is it your mom? No, like older man, New Yorker doesn't give a. Right? Yeah, it just doesn't give a. Like, you know, comb over mustache. I'm walking here. Then has the grilled muffin.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

All right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I like it.

[Jared Freid]

Before we get started, I'm on the road. I would love for you guys to come to a show at. By this point, I've been all over this great country of ours and I got a new show, new material from 37 and single new material from the special. We have a special that's coming out and it's coming out in the fall. The family plan, it's all about going to the beach with my parents. It's a batches production. I'm very excited about it. The road stuff is actually different from both of those specials. Yeah, I've been writing. I'm. I've been hard at work.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm. I'm about to see it. I'm excited to see. It's gonna be great.

[Jared Freid]

Portland, Maine, if you're out there, I'm coming. Huntington, New York. I'm gonna be at the Paramount. I'm probably gonna have more dates by the time this airs, but I want to make sure I want those Portland shows to be great. I'm very excited. I've never done stand up in Portland, so. And I've been going to Portland, Maine my whole life.

[Jordana Abraham]

We did a Portland you up live, I think, right?

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are you sure?

[Jared Freid]

Portland, Oregon?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, you're talking about Maine.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay, never mind.

[Jared Freid]

Common mistakes, right? This other Portland first or last time. So it's going to confuse them.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, I've never been to Portland.

[Jared Freid]

Can you imagine?

[Jordana Abraham]

I never been to Maine.

[Jared Freid]

You never been to Maine?

[Jordana Abraham]

Never been to Maine.

[Jared Freid]

The way life should be. Vacation land.

[Jordana Abraham]

No.

[Jared Freid]

I've got to go crazy. You gotta go.

[Jordana Abraham]

Maybe I'll take a road trip.

[Jared Freid]

I think that's the next road. Maine is the greatest. Like, it is. Like, I can't really.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Do you go to Maine often?

[Jared Freid]

When's the last time I went to summer camp a man. That's where I went to camp.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, right. That's where all the rich kids went.

[Jared Freid]

That's a very rich place. That's right. They have a golden arch that you have to drive.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like McDonald's?

[Jared Freid]

Yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, the. The poorer kids went to Pennsylvania camps and the richer kids went to main camps.

[Jared Freid]

Is that how it went around, supposedly? Well, New England Jews went to main camps, too. That's like a. Another thing. My. My dad went to the same camp as me, my uncle, my cousin. We've been rich a long time.

[Jordana Abraham]

That sounds. I mean, that's how you could tell if you're looking for subtle hints. Someone has got some family money, if they're great. If someone's a grandfather went to sleepaway camp, you know, they have fucking money.

[Jared Freid]

My grandparents did not. Did they? I'd have to ask. I don't know. I don't think so.

[Jordana Abraham]

Don't let them. Don't let them tell you that they've lived. They've worked a day in their life.

[Jared Freid]

I have never. I've never professed otherwise. We have a family of campers, but I know I've been going to Portland, you know, forever. Gunquit, you know.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

All right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I got to get to. I got to get to Maine.

[Jared Freid]

Well, it means a vibe, you know, Maine's like. And it's also like. It does feel very backwoods. Like, if you go, like, a little bit in a different direction. Like, I am in, like, Louisiana. Like, cold, freezing. I mean. Yeah, the summer. Short summer.

[Jordana Abraham]

What's that almost like, by Canada?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. No, it's cold. Like, the water. The. I mean, the ocean's freezing. That's, like, a big part of it, too. Like, you really. By the time. It's like the end of middle of August, like, night times are like. Put on a sweatshirt, Chili. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. I'm gonna look into a main road trip.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I think you'd like it. I think, like, Gunquit, which is, like, the more gay area.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

That's a fun time. My. We were literally. My family was out. We were out for dinner. This woman was like, I'm from Maine. My dad goes, I love a gunkwit. The woman just goes, you gay? Weird. It was such a funny interaction.

[Jordana Abraham]

What did your dad say?

[Jared Freid]

He goes, no, that's my son and my wife over there. And he goes, but, you know, who knows?

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Maybe.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, the jury's still out, you know.

[Jordana Abraham]

So we had that couple on.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, yeah, they're the. The couple.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. They have a kid.

[Jared Freid]

I love that episode.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I thought it was great. Definitely different.

[Jared Freid]

There were some people again, when you. When you put things on the Internet, you don't know who's going to rise up. And there's some people that really didn't.

[Jordana Abraham]

They didn't buy it.

[Jared Freid]

Didn't buy it. Right. They felt the answers were canned.

[Jordana Abraham]

I felt I wouldn't. I didn't buy it before the. Before we had them on. But then after we had them on, I did buy it.

[Jared Freid]

Okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

I got it. I understood it once they explained it.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, yeah, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it took. You'd have to re.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

We.

[Jared Freid]

You got to come in with an open mind.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

What are we talking about?

[Jordana Abraham]

All right, let's get into it.

[Jared Freid]

I just got the. Can I. Let's put this on camera. You ready? I got this text. Do you think this is the worst text you could ever receive from. Ready? From. From someone I know and I'm friends with. Please tell me your calendar is clear the morning of Friday, October 30th.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's it.

[Jared Freid]

That's it.

[Jordana Abraham]

I hate that.

[Jared Freid]

Brutal, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Say what for? Before I tell you if I'm free. Right.

[Jared Freid]

Because now I gotta.

[Jordana Abraham]

Now.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, it's a trick, and we're months ahead. Of course I'm free.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Like I.

[Jordana Abraham]

And I. I hate that. Are you free? Tell me the plan, and then I'll let you know if I need to make something up.

[Jared Freid]

Have some confidence in your plans.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Let me say no to it. Let me create. Yeah. Make something.

[Jordana Abraham]

Don't ask if I'm free. I say I'm free. And now you're tied to the plan. You haven't even found out what the plan is.

[Jared Freid]

Totally agree. Do you think there's a more annoying text in the world?

[Jordana Abraham]

I hate that. I think it's rude.

[Jared Freid]

Hey, if. What if someone texted you? Hey, heard something about you. Dot. Dot.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's crazy, right?

[Jared Freid]

This is crazy. I mean, I've had. I've had people text me, hey, Dot. Dot. And I'm like, okay. I block them. That's how mad it makes me. I'm like, no, Gone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Say what you need to say.

[Jared Freid]

Stand on the. On the. On the. On the. On. On the. Stage and. And announce yourself.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Are you gonna. What did you say?

[Jared Freid]

I reacted. Here's my move. With a text reaction. I react with a Haha.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

You react to the more.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's an annoying off. Who can be more annoying?

[Jared Freid]

That's right. I raise your Are you free?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

With a non answer. Must be a joke.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

That's how crazy a Texas is.

[Jordana Abraham]

What is. What do they want to know?

[Jared Freid]

I wrote as of now it's a yes. Because now I'm also curious as to what. Please tell me for free because this could be anything.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, someone who's gonna like set you up with like a job. Like a.

[Jared Freid]

Well, if it's a job, love it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is it someone like you work with sometimes?

[Jared Freid]

No, this is like a friend from high school, like way back.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's not a paid opportunity.

[Jared Freid]

Well, if it's a paid opportunity, that will. On the range, on the spectrum, there's paid opportunity, which is great.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

On the worst case scenario, it's come with me to see another comedian I like.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's the worst thing.

[Jared Freid]

That's the worst thing that could ever happen to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

What if it was? Can you drive me back for my colonoscopy?

[Jared Freid]

Fine with it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

That's actually in the middle.

[Jordana Abraham]

Please tell me you're free on October.

[Jared Freid]

Come with me to go see Blank.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

You know would be the worst. And then the name of that comedian,

[Jordana Abraham]

someone you don't like.

[Jared Freid]

If it's a bad comedian, I would be like, like you might see run into traffic and this might be blocked to be seen again.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right.

[Jared Freid]

Their dot dot has been happening for 20 minutes. This is crazy.

[Jordana Abraham]

This is your friend from high school. Did they say anything?

[Jared Freid]

Come on.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is it someone. Is it a comedian?

[Jared Freid]

It's the most amazing thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's a paid opportunity.

[Jared Freid]

No, it's crazy what I just found out live. We read it. I'll explain more. But the short of it is you edged out Ali Raisman to win this year's Needham High School Distinguished Career Award.

[Jordana Abraham]

Wow.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

I am.

[Jared Freid]

We'd love for you to come accept the award and inspire the junior class to reach for the stars that day.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is your friend still in high school?

[Jared Freid]

They live in the town that I'm from. They live in Needham.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do they have kids who go to the.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, I think they have kids in the school.

[Jordana Abraham]

No, they're just national, Jared.

[Jared Freid]

They just hang out with the juniors.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are you gonna get a key? Are you a key to the city?

[Jared Freid]

This is the most. My.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that better than a paid opportunity?

[Jared Freid]

Way better.

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, wow.

[Jared Freid]

I. I'm making hats. This is better than the New York Times list. This is the best thing that's ever happened to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Holy shit. I am. My dad keeps talking about my brother making the lacrosse hall of fame. This will beat Harry, definitely. No question.

[Jordana Abraham]

Ali Raisman is the last person who got this distinguished award.

[Jared Freid]

Beat her out. I don't know how I would have beat out Ali Raisman. I think she should have gotten this maybe years ago.

[Jordana Abraham]

Every time I missed. Oh, like you beat her out for it and that's what she used to have it, right?

[Jared Freid]

Or. Joking aside, I'm sincerely so proud of you. I know that your story nominated me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Who's on the committee for this?

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, who votes?

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you have a big 11th grade fan base?

[Jared Freid]

Maybe the juniors. They were like, we don't want, like, they were like, let's get this guy who's gonna, like, say weird shit. Maybe that was part of it, that I would come in and be like. Like an.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are you the most famous person from Needham? No.

[Jared Freid]

No. Now I am.

[Jordana Abraham]

Now you are.

[Jared Freid]

Sorry, Raisman.

[Jordana Abraham]

I have always, historically been a jeans and a T shirt girl. There's nothing that I love more than a good quality just like white tee that makes me look good and it's really comfortable. And Skims has got this down. I have their cotton rib T shirt in. I think the color is called marble. It's a beautiful kind of like off white. I wore it on the show, I think, maybe last week. So you can it on me in last week's episode. It does everything for me. I love an outfit. You don't have to think about that, you know, is going to look good, that, you know, is going to make all of your different parts stand out. Look great, be comfortable. Skims has just got this on lock. They know what they're doing. And every time I put on one of their T shirts and I have several, I have them in all the different colors. I have them in soot, which is basically like their black color. I have it in white. I. There's one for every occasion. And for me, that's really all I need for the summer because I just like to keep it simple. I like to know I'm. What I'm putting on is going to look good. I don't have time to do a million outfit changes. Jeans and a T shirt, that's it for me. And skims is my go to for that. You could always trust them for that. Honestly, there's nothing more versatile than skims. Cotton jersey T shirt. They have a high quality product. It looks good, it hugs you in the right places. You always know you're going to look your best in it. You keep it simple and you look hot. Shop Skims, Cotton and all my favorite [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Foreign

[Jordana Abraham]

this episode is sponsored by better help in 2026 mental health is mainstream, People are more open about their struggles than they've ever been, and therapy speak is the dominant language on my for you page. In spite of all that, asking for help can still feel impossible. The gap between believing in mental health support and actually seeking that support is wide. And whether it's because of the cost of therapy, the work it takes to find the right therapist, or societal pressure to figure it out on their own, many people don't seek out the help they need. I think there's a lot of discussion about therapy that I see online and you know, just like in my anecdotally among my friends. But not everyone actually makes the move to actually seek a therapist, which is really where all the change actually comes in. I've been seeing a therapist for years and nothing has helped me improve my mental health as much as seeing a licensed therapist has. BetterHelp is making this easier for people that that's where they come in. With over 30,000 fully licensed therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. They do the initial matching for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time. From their tailored wrecks, sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com UUP that's better. H E L p.com/UUP this next segment

[Jared Freid]

is presented by Universal Pictures. One Night Only. We're talking awkward dating encounters.

[Jordana Abraham]

The trailer for this movie had me immediately hooked. Basically, One Night Only is a witty rom com where for one night a year, single people are allowed to have sex for 12 hours.

[Jared Freid]

12 hours. That's not a hookup, that's a shift.

[Jordana Abraham]

No? So in this universe, premarital sex is illegal for single people except for one 12 hour night. So they're searching for love on the least romantic night of the year.

[Jared Freid]

That sounds like this universe we're currently in. Struggling to secure a hookup and having sex once a year.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, it's like modern dating, but with better organization. In honor of one night only, we asked you to send us your awkward dating encounters. And this one feels so especially on theme.

[Jared Freid]

I love it. This movie looks great. As far as like the, you know, the romcom isn't dead. The romcom is alive and well and one night only. Go watch the pre. We watched the preview premise. The premise is great and it's like, it's cute. You have those moments of like you're watching, you know, you. You have this moment of like, you know, when you meet someone on a random night, you. If you lift it out of your body and watched yourself, you'd be like, man, I'm nailing it. Like, when it works out, that's what it feels like. Watching the. The trailer. Like you're watching two people have this moment that maybe, you know, you would want to reenact or have had in the past. That one night that something cool happens.

[Jordana Abraham]

I know we can. I think we can all think back to that one night.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, of course.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, night that changed everything.

[Jared Freid]

The one night. Okay. Hey, Jared and Jordana. I'm literally submitting this anonymously so the embarrassment can't follow me. But my story was supposed to be a one night only thing. A few months after my evil ex and I broke up, I hooked up with his best friend the second it happened. It was super weird the next day because the guy definitely felt guilty about it. Honestly, for me, the hookup was kind of made better by the fact that it felt like I was getting revenge on my ex. But I felt bad that the guy felt bad. The awkward part is that it didn't totally stay a one time thing. We saw each other a few more times, but I quickly realized he was Basically my EX 2.0 and cut it off. I'm not ashamed that I did it was. But I am ashamed of who I did it with. He's embarrassing. And honestly, their whole friend group is. To this day, I have no idea if my ex ever found out. Part of me thinks he didn't because I feel like guys don't expose themselves like that. It definitely should have stayed a one time thing, but obviously what was supposed to be one night became a whole mess. So what do we think about this one night stand that turned into a few nightstands?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's interesting that like, I make sense that the guy feels bad about it. Right.

[Jared Freid]

It's like, you know, guy code.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

It kind of fits into that and it's like, also she's like leaving the ex.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, she's gone.

[Jordana Abraham]

She doesn't really owe him anything.

[Jared Freid]

Doesn't owe him anything. It's like the mistake was made by the friend.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. She doesn't know him anything.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. Like who she hooks up with. That's up, you know?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

That's okay.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not his business.

[Jared Freid]

Not his business.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's the friend. I would feel weird if I were him. For sure.

[Jared Freid]

I would feel awful. Yeah, that would, that I, I understand. Like, I would be like.

[Jordana Abraham]

And then he continues to do it, though. It's not just a one night thing.

[Jared Freid]

No, I mean, that's the. Well, it's like, it's like going down to the kitchen in the middle of the night to have some chips. You go down the first time, you're like, enough. Yeah, okay, we made a mistake. I'm just gonna go to bed.

[Jordana Abraham]

And then you're like, well, I'm already here.

[Jared Freid]

I'm here.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I already had. I'm either all or nothing.

[Jared Freid]

And there was a little bit of, you know, cheese in the fridge. So I'd really like to do doggy style with her. So I'll go back and put a little cheese on that chip.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, you start thinking of other.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right, right. I'm already in trouble.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

As well.

[Jared Freid]

And this is also the thing of like, you know, men with sex specifically, you know, a lot of women will write in, you know, I thought it was a one night stand. Men don't think of it that way. Like a lot of women will label things a one night stand as it seemingly to rid their mind of the. What could happen.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

The romance. They want to put you in a,

[Jordana Abraham]

like in a box of potential boyfriend.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or I have to, I either have to have many expectations of you or zero expectations of you. So if I put you in the one night stand box, then that allows my brain to not have any expectations of you.

[Jared Freid]

It's very funny you say that because the trailer for this movie, I was like kind of yelling at it. Which means it's a good movie trailer and it's going to be a good movie.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

So Monica Barbero, who looks amazing and seems fun on this movie, but she's got to be a good actress because I'm sitting here, she's talking about how like, oh, it's so tough to find a long term boyfriend.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

On this crazy night of sex that happens once a year and I'm sitting there going, just have the sex. You can find a boyfriend any other Night.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But this goes to what you're saying of like putting in boxes. Like, I am in boyfriend mode.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

I'm not in one.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm not looking for that.

[Jared Freid]

I'm in my hoe phase. I'm in. I'm looking, you know, like, these are all boxes women put themselves in. From the guy perspective. Why do you keep coming back? That is just chick I have hooked up with.

[Jordana Abraham]

Not as much long term planning.

[Jared Freid]

No, it is. It shows you the mind of a man.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Like, she's like, why would he do

[Jordana Abraham]

that knowing that it was his friend's ex though?

[Jared Freid]

Why does anyone do anything that they feel bad about afterwards?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? Should she feel. Should she feel flattered that he should.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Well, she should feel flattered and also not flattered.

[Jordana Abraham]

You know, like, not flattered.

[Jared Freid]

Not flattered. Because it's like chick I. That will answer my calls. Like, at a minimum. It's like.

[Jordana Abraham]

But worth it.

[Jared Freid]

But worth it. But attractive. And also she doesn't see me as a long term option. So, like, the pressure's off. I can be totally myself.

[Jordana Abraham]

We always see you as a lot.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So that's the problem.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So. But I'm saying for this scenario, like,

[Jordana Abraham]

I feel that's what even she says. She said, starts one night stand. And then she says, we saw each other four more times. I quickly realized he was Basically my EX 2.0 and cut it off. Meaning she entertained the idea.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Of something longer term.

[Jared Freid]

Right. He what? I think he. It kind of shows you that the male mind is like short term, long, you know, short term memory loss type of thing. Like, it's like, okay, I'm. I'm all ready to go. There's a what? She's answering my text. She's attractive. I like her. There's safety. I think when like your friend's been with her, there's a little bit of like, I know she's. I've seen her go through a breakup. She didn't walk around the city with a megahorn telling everyone how small his penis was. So, like, I got trust for her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So there's a little of that comfort is. Is a big part.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm sure you know things about them.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, totally. So listen, I. I think this is. And it's also like, I love the idea of one night, like you never going out on a Saturday night.

[Jordana Abraham]

Anything could happen. Best part about being single. Anything could happen.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. And the worst part about being single is. Usually happens. Yeah. So I think the one night can change anything scenario. I mean, if we're relating this to the movie, that's like a big part of the movie. But in this scenario where she hooks up, this guy goes from friend of my ex to guy I've hooked up with, right? And then she goes from ex of my friend to a real problem in my life with my friend. Like, it's funny how you see things. Like you go from X, my friend's ex, to oh, my God, over him. Yeah. I'm gonna lose a friend over his ex.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. Now, I got a big secret, right?

[Jared Freid]

I got a big secret. I gotta change. It changes the relationship with everybody. With her, she has to. He has to kind of trust that she's not gonna, like, use him as a weapon to. With his buddies or tell him. Right? That's. That's the weaponization.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, and so it's like, where's his mind at as far as, like, could this be a romantic thing? It's like, you have to really fall in love for you two to look at each other and go, hey, man, sorry to let you know, but we're together now. Like, it happens. It happens. That's the problem.

[Jordana Abraham]

One night can change everything.

[Jared Freid]

One night can change everything. It. It is interesting to me, like, how she was. It's her being surprised that he would feel this bad. And it's like, I think that is, like, should tell you everything about a man like her. She's surprised that he was more upset about the. The guilt than he was excited to just fuck.

[Jordana Abraham]

Why is he doing it?

[Jared Freid]

Because why do men do anything? You know, you up.

[Jordana Abraham]

You're animals.

[Jared Freid]

You're at. We're animals. This is the animal nature. Because in her mind, she's like, oh, like. It's like when someone's like, what?

[Jordana Abraham]

You.

[Jared Freid]

You can go out and hook up any night. It's like, no, no. Men have insecurities. Men feel guilt. Men, you know, and maybe they act in a way you wouldn't act. But this guy, you guys get, hook up, and he finds out you're his friend's ex or new and realizes his mistake. No one's gonna feel bad for this guy. I'm not asking people to feel bad for him. I'm just saying. I'm just saying the. The arrival where he. His mind goes first. I think it's funny that it surprised her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. If you were single, would you like this sort of thing? You can only have sex one night of the year.

[Jared Freid]

I would love it.

[Jordana Abraham]

You'd be into it.

[Jared Freid]

Yes. Because what it would do, it would take away it would make the night, like, special.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's all out there, though.

[Jared Freid]

It's all out there. Like, I am here for one thing. And we. This is actually a man's dream because

[Jordana Abraham]

we have sex one night a year.

[Jared Freid]

Because it's one night a year where you can go, let's get this thing out of the way, and then we can figure out if we're cool. So you go, you could be this. This night, this. This fantasy is a male fantasy because it gets. It forces communication that would be uncomfortable for a man to have, right? So you're forcing men to be like, I want sex because this is the night we can do it. We will see about everything later, after, let's go out for dinner on the day that we can't have sex, Right? But let's do the sex now.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's just get it out of the way.

[Jared Freid]

Let's just get out of the way. It's the one night we can do it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm just telling you, I'm fucking feeling you. I'm feeling you. That's like I'm sweating for you.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's all I can promise.

[Jared Freid]

That's all I can promise. I can promise tonight I need the touch of a human. And we will. I will make sure. I'll talk to you tomorrow. We'll talk it out. But I think when you're forced into communication, right? And because a lot of male things that men want to say to women are gross and not morally great. So what this night does is it gives you a reason to have those honest things said and you're not just bringing them up out of nowhere. Like if. If on a night. If on a Saturday night, I was at a bar and I'm single and I met a girl at the bar and I said, hey, I just want to have sex with you. And I don't know about anything else, but you've been a lot of fun tonight. And I enjoy, like, our back and forth, but I can't promise that I can do anything else but tonight. So I'll go down on you, you go down on me, and then tomorrow we can.

[Jordana Abraham]

We'll figure it out.

[Jared Freid]

Figure it out. A woman might appreciate that, but there's danger in bringing that up for sure. On a random Saturday night where she's like, what do you think of me?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Why would you think I'm for that? And it's like, no, no.

[Jordana Abraham]

You have the pretense now, right? Yes.

[Jared Freid]

I'll pray every night that we have a world that lives like this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, when you become the mayor of Needham of Needham, Massachusetts, maybe you can first law.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, the first night.

[Jordana Abraham]

One one night a year.

[Jared Freid]

That's right. All right, thanks again to Universal Pictures. One night Only. If this story proves thing it's that one night can absolutely change everything. Sometimes for better, sometimes for months longer than necessary.

[Jordana Abraham]

And if you're a romantic, there's always the hope that a one night only situation turns into something more. If you're a realist, at least you'll get a good story out of it.

[Jared Freid]

So grab a big bucket of popcorn, kick your feet up on those nice recliners, and make sure to check out One Night only, hitting theaters August 7th. What a great summer activity. The AC's pumping, you're on those big comfy chairs. If you're at a nicer theater.

[Jordana Abraham]

Just thinking about the possibilities.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, I love a possibility.

[Jordana Abraham]

Anything could happen. One night only. Introducing Meta Glasses.

[Jared Freid]

Hey Meta, any last minute tables for two tonight?

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[Jared Freid]

Hey Meta, where's the nearest flower shop?

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Five minutes away, straight down Broadway, past the bodega. Their lilies are trending on Instagram. Just saying.

[Jared Freid]

Hey Meta, am I forgetting anything else?

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

How about setting a calendar reminder for next year?

[Jordana Abraham]

Meta glasses available in more than 20 styles.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

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[Jordana Abraham]

All right, let's do an icky or picky. Hi J and J. Long time. First time. I love you. I have an Icky or picky happening in real time. My fiance and I come from slightly different family dynamics. I am an only child and grew up having to spend a lot of time with adults. No kids table at the holidays. Etc. He is from a family of four brothers with a much clearer divide between kids and other generations. Now that we're older, I feel like this shouldn't really be a thing. We're both 30, but sometimes it feels like he doesn't know how to interact with my parents. My mom is in town visiting today before leaving for a trip. I'm in the office, but he is about to start a new job and is at our apartment with her. She texted me to ask if he was okay because he barely left our room all day. I know he is almost certainly watching YouTube videos. I get it. It can be a little stressful to have to spend a Day one on one with your in laws. But honestly, this feels pretty immature. I'm close with his parents and would be totally fine to be home alone with them for a few hours. But I really tried for that dynamic. It didn't just happen overnight. My mom is very non threatening and would happily chat for a little bit and then read a book. This isn't the first time I felt like he hasn't made an effort to interact with my parents when they visit. And I think it comes off as pretty rude. So icky or picky. Your husband is acting like an elusive house cat around your mom. Xo A My mom doesn't bite.

[Jared Freid]

I love this email.

[Jordana Abraham]

Great email.

[Jared Freid]

It's a great email. It's a great problem because it's like relatable. It's relatable. It's worth discussing. I think if I have to give any advice like right off the bat to equip her for a conversation it sounds like she needs to have, it is. My mom is very non threatening. Stop that. Stop that. It's. It's your mom. It's someone else in his house.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So it doesn't matter. It's in his space. Anyone in my space.

[Jordana Abraham]

We all have the desire to do what he's doing.

[Jared Freid]

Of course.

[Jordana Abraham]

Whenever anyone is in your space.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And it's uncomfortable. You want to say and, and listen, I will say this. My dad is like this.

[Jordana Abraham]

My dad, a lot of people are like this.

[Jared Freid]

If someone's house, in the house, my dad disappears upstairs. He's like a ghost haunting the upstairs. Like he will not come out. He'll like look beyond corners.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like I have a desire to do this.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I mean I don't, I don't always do it, but I do, I get, I understand what his anxiety is here.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. And I also, I don't know if I have that in me. Like I, I respect people who are good at having. No, I'm better at boundaries.

[Jordana Abraham]

Boundaries, okay.

[Jared Freid]

Boundaries. People are, you know, there's a, there's a thin line between boundary, having good boundaries and being rude, in my opinion.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And, and that's a tough line to figure out sometimes. There are some people, when I hear about their boundaries, I'm like, you're rude. You're, you're, you seem like a misery. And then there's some people who talk about boundaries and I'm like, wow, I want to like take a little bite of that. You know what I mean?

[Jordana Abraham]

I want the confidence to be able to do that without feeling, without getting anxious every Five seconds. If someone's mad at me.

[Jared Freid]

Totally.

[Jordana Abraham]

Or thinks I'm being rude.

[Jared Freid]

Listen, my girlfriend, she was like, we, we went to Cleveland and then we landed in Philly and I was going to spend the night at Emily's. And then she's like, my family wants to get together today. And I was like, of course. And I was like, she's got her niece and she's got her parents and it's a drive. And I'm like, of course.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

And I'm, and then she's like, well, we're gonna, like, it's gonna be like dinner. And like, I know that she's. The one thing about Emily that I trust is that she's thinking of my, how I experienced my experience. Right, right. Which I appreciate.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

But I also, she was thanking me and I was like, this was fun. Like, I enjoyed her family. Like, I, I, it wasn't, there wasn't a thing in me that was like my Sunday, you know, like, what else would I do?

[Jordana Abraham]

What if you were going there alone without her? I have to go do this thing. You go to my parents. That's because that's sort of what we're describing.

[Jared Freid]

That's the, that's the point. Like, I, in this scenario that I had, I didn't, I was like, should I be, who would be annoyed? You know? Like, I, like that was my question.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, also in a new relationship, I can see. Let's say you've been dating for three years or you're married or whatever and you're kind of like, you worked all week.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's say you guys live in her, you live in the, you live close to her parents. And she's like, so I'm gonna, I've gotta go work, but why don't you take the kid and go hang out with my, go and like, go to my parents house.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And they'll help you take care of them and like, you can hang out with them.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know what my mentality would be.

[Jordana Abraham]

So I think it would be less like, of course.

[Jared Freid]

Right, right. Of course it would be. I, yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Who would ever.

[Jared Freid]

I'm not saying. Right. I don't know how miserable I would be in that scenario. Like, I, I, but I know I'd be more miserable than I am today.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So I'll acknowledge.

[Jordana Abraham]

And more miserable alone than with her.

[Jared Freid]

Totally.

[Jordana Abraham]

For sure.

[Jared Freid]

And, but I think like in this scenario where the mom's at the house to come downstairs and say, hey, everything good? Do you need anything? I'm just Gonna be upstairs doing my thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

If you need anything else, if you've got anything to chit chat about, like

[Jordana Abraham]

I think 10 to 20 minutes of chit chat.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I've got a couple things to do. Let me know if you need anything.

[Jared Freid]

That's all it took? Yeah, that's all. And. And we've had debates over how much you should be available to like the family. You're gonna go take a nap. Go take a nap. I actually think she wrote in, in this scenario, I'm probably closer to how you feel than we. We're probably more aligned than we were before because she's visiting today for a. Leaving. Before leaving for a trip. I'm in the office and he needs to start a new job and is in our apartment with her. She text asking if he's okay because he's barely in the room all day. It's like, I would want his side of the story on that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

A little bit. Like, I would be like, did you like what happened with my mom today? Because my mom noticed something. Now her mom could be sensitive. We don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Her mom white want a lot of chit chat.

[Jared Freid]

Right. We don't, we don't know what the mom is asking for. But I would be curious to what he did. Like, because to me, if he was like, mom, like, great to see you. You got the whole space. I'm just having, like, I'm gonna go in my room. Crazy work day, crazy workday. I'm gonna, I'm gonna take a nap. If he said, I'm gonna take a nap, I would be like, yeah, that seems normal.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Like, I don't have take. Except I would take exception if he just was like, hey. And then just like when his room, like, Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Got coffee, went into his room and shut the door and ignored anything. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So I don't know what.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. It's hard to know without seeing the full details, but there is a. I agree. There's a middle ground here where he can still not spend all day with her and show enough effort to make her feel welcome.

[Jared Freid]

Totally make her feel welcome is a great phrase for this.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think that's really what she's getting at because she's like, the rudeness to me would be like, this person is irritated. You're making this person feel like they're an irritation in your, in your space.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

And there's a way to make someone not feel like that without having to spend all day with them.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. I mean, listen, I. Not to, you know, we're, we've already probably done benefits episode about this. I'm coming to stay with you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like I'm gonna want to take a nap. I. Right. We don't know the dynamic yet. Yeah, you know, like we will find out, you know. So the. And again, I always say about people coming to my parents house, I was like, my parents will invite everyone over and then make them feel the most uncomfortable they've ever felt just for, just for accepting their invitation.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You walk in shoes off. Well, who wears shoes? You asked People.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

You don't think it was going to get messier than it would have been without people?

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, it's tough because like it's interesting. Like the more often people are there, the more you know what they're like, what their expectations are, what their vibe are, how much they want to hang. Like I've never spent a weekend with you, so I'm kind of like, does Jared want like back to back activities all weekend? Does Jared want some like, like down time to like not speak to anyone?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like it is kind of this thing where I mean, and we're like friends and you're also like a comedian so I think I can ask you those things without it being weird. But it's like your girlfriend's parents, it's

[Jared Freid]

a little like totally different.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. And sometimes, you know, it's like, what are you, what are your parents like when they come over? Are they like expecting you to, to spend the whole day chatting? Are they doing their own thing? Is it like they're not there?

[Jared Freid]

I think what you're doing right now is a huge favor because I didn't even think of this. To the listener, to the, to the emailer. We love their email. We think this is a, this is a problem.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

This is a problem that can be fixed for sure. I think in the conversation that she needs to have with her boyfriend, I think she has to go on a fact finding mission. Hey, how did it go down with my mom today? She mentioned and, and I. She loves you, she likes you. Like I think she, I think the person she has to go to her boyfriend and be like, listen, my mom like likes you and was a little bit like wonder was actually gave you the benefit of the doubt. Thought you might have been sick.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, because she did say she's like,

[Jordana Abraham]

unless she's saying it passive aggressively, whatever.

[Jared Freid]

It may even so, you know, like so my mom even thought that was something was off. She mentioned something what happened today and let, and also like I. Her job as A girlfriend is to equip.

[Jordana Abraham]

Fiance.

[Jared Freid]

Fiance. Okay. So as a fiance is to like equip her fiance with like. This is how my parents are here.

[Jordana Abraham]

Here's how I'd like the day to go.

[Jared Freid]

Here's how.

[Jordana Abraham]

Understanding both of your needs.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

In this situation.

[Jared Freid]

I know my mom, she's gonna want one cup of coffee with you.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

You.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know? I know. And then you're good. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Then you can go do your own thing. I remember under with a thinly veiled lie. I mean, I have this Mike's. But not like the most social guy. It's funny, like, if he sees like one of my friends at like the train station, his immediately, like. I think what he immediately wants to do in any scenario where he sees someone is to kind of like, hope that they don't see him so he doesn't have to, like, especially when you're getting on a train that's like an hour long train.

[Jared Freid]

He doesn't even want to be next to you. He doesn't even want.

[Jordana Abraham]

He does. True. But like, I. And I know him, so I don't think it's quite as rude. But I'm kind. Like, if you see a friend of mine and you're on the train platform, I. And I think for him, and I would understand this anxiety too, is like, if I say hello, I need to sit with them on the train and speak to them for an hour.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. The worst case train scenario.

[Jordana Abraham]

The worst scenario.

[Jared Freid]

The worst thing that could literally ever happen to someone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. And I will say that Sammy, I saw Sammy's husband on the train platform a couple weeks ago and he walked up. I was standing on the platform. He walked up to the platform. We spoke for like three minutes. We get on the train, he looks at me and he goes, we don't need to do this. He goes, we don't need to like, sit together. Like, it's okay.

[Jared Freid]

That is, that is. And. And also that. That is him being courteous.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. I was not offended.

[Jared Freid]

No, don't. Yeah, I, I would. And he knew you wouldn't be offended. And a lot of this is tone.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, if you said that, like, to you. He knows the tone that can be had with you. We don't need to do this to, like, someone you see every now and again. Maybe you say it differently.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, hey, I've got some things. I've got some work to do on the train. Don't think I'm rude. I'm just gonna go sit over there.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. Hey, I kind of go To a place before I go to work. It was great to see you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

That's like a normal. We don't need to do this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Skimmed all the pretense of it.

[Jared Freid]

I've, I've been guilty of that when I get annoyed sometimes. I remember my buddy, he invited me, he invited me down to the. I have one friend. I call it this is your life. He invites all his friends to every event.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay?

[Jared Freid]

So every time you hang with him, you got to hang with, like, every part of his life, right? And the spouses and, and every hangout is like, this is so and so from this, and this is so and so from that. This is so. And one time I got so fed up, I came in, like, I thought we were just, like, having a drink and talking. And I walk in, he goes, jared, oh my God, you gotta meet this. And I go, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it. I go, hey, everybody. I put both hands in there. I go, I, I know. We don't need to do that. We don't need to do this. Like, I literally did the we don't need to do this. And everyone was like, what's wrong with this guy? Like, like, I would look like the most crazy person, right?

[Jordana Abraham]

But, well, now you really can't do that because you're, like, kind of famous.

[Jared Freid]

I, I, you think I am. The level of act like, I don't

[Jordana Abraham]

want to say hi. That's the other. If you have any sort of notoriety and you do that, you're like, someone who thinks they're better than everyone, right?

[Jared Freid]

That's not what it's about at all.

[Jordana Abraham]

I know, but, like, I think I'm worse territory. Like, if Taylor Swift walked into the office and she was like, hello, Please, I'm okay. No, we don't need to do this.

[Jared Freid]

You don't. Well, we don't need to do this. She can't say, but do you think she's famous enough where she walks in the office and goes, hey, everybody, and that's enough.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? But she's doing it under. That's what I'm saying. There's a difference in the way you say it, right? We don't need to do this.

[Jared Freid]

Right? You gotta be careful. It's how you sell it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, I mean, I was fine with it. We don't need to do this.

[Jared Freid]

But no, no, I, I, another person might have been offended for you too. It's the way to say it. Yes, for this, this is the point to this person's email. She needs to like kind of bring these two to the table. Like you have to. Right. We need to do this.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And then I, but I get it. I think I would acknowledge his uncomfortable, his discomfort with making small talk, which could be, which could last forever. It's even not even like the fact that it will last forever. It's the idea that it could.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Anxiety provoking.

[Jared Freid]

Right. And it's, hey, it's informing him, here's what my mom needs when she comes to the house at a minimum. And I'm going to let her know what you need. Like that you, you know, when you're in the apartment, you kind of like you're trying to get, do your own thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And I think she's got to be the intermediary, like to bring these two together in a. Yeah. I, I, but I, I do, I would caution, like, what's the lack of respect here? Like, is, did he, did he do this willingly?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I, if he was like, she's in my home, she can walk.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, that's a different conversation.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that's a different conversation. But that's a possibility, possibility here.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, because again, like we were talking about before, the boundaries people. Some people, the boundaries thing becomes like a very, like a, like a ego thing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like they have to like, like they, I don't know. I, I've had that boundaries conversation.

[Jordana Abraham]

Way to, yeah. To do it.

[Jared Freid]

Those people exist. Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, another option is when the best thing about having kids is as an excuse to, to leave or do whatever. That's like the best part. It's like if you're, there's people in your house, you don't really want to speak to them. I gotta go.

[Jared Freid]

The kids are upstairs.

[Jordana Abraham]

The kid needs a diaper, whatever. And come back an hour and a half later.

[Jared Freid]

You're just in the tub with the kids, basically.

[Jordana Abraham]

This episode is sponsored by Instacart. You have a lot of places to be this summer. Getting a good base tan at the beach, the summer wedding circuit, even a spontaneous backyard barbecue here and there. The last place you want to be is inside a grocery store. Thanks to Instacart. You can let your shopper hit the aisles while you focus on what matters. Set your preferences in the app once and your shopper knows exactly what to grab. Your preferred brands, organic options or specific produce choices so you can get quality without any sacrifices. Get your weekly essentials, snacks and even last minute party essentials delivered in as little as 30 minutes. And say yes to whatever impromptu plans come your way. I love Instacart As I've said on this episode and other episodes, I have no free time anymore and the last place I want to spend any of my day is inside one or multiple grocery stores to get all the stuff I need for my family. So I I love Instacart. I love that you can talk in real time with a shopper and that I do not have to actually do this thing because I don't have time to grocery shop anymore. So Instacart can do it for me. The convenience and speed cannot be beat. With just a few taps, you can shop from your favorite stores and have quality groceries and household essentials carefully selected and ready for pickup or delivered to your door in as fast as 30 minutes. Instacart helps take care of delivering the things you need with the quality you deserve so that you're free to take care of life. Instacart brings convenience, quality and ease right to your door so you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like.

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[Jared Freid]

All right, let's do another email. You ready?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yep.

[Jared Freid]

Uupatches.com keep sending your emails. Thank you for everything you do. I've been a listener for the past six years and never miss an episode. We have so many people that are just like consistent listeners. And thank you guys so much. That's so awesome. Now getting to the issue. My ex boyfriend and I broke up back in March after two and a half years together. When we started dating, his dog was only a year old. I started spending a ton of time with the dog, often watching him when my ex went on work trips. We moved in together about a year in and the dog and I got an even closer We've the dog people. When people write into us about the dog issues, I feel like they're testing us like we are not.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well she's talking.

[Jared Freid]

You have a dog like it's a human.

[Jordana Abraham]

We got even close.

[Jared Freid]

We got really close. We watch a lot of the same shows. He was just really caring when he would listen to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

He was my comfort.

[Jared Freid]

It's like. And some people are that way with dogs. I acknowledge that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, I get it. Listen, I. I get it more than I did before having a dog.

[Jared Freid]

Our breakup was pretty amicable. He broke up with me, but I had been contemplating breaking up with him for a while too. We basically just drifted apart and realized we didn't have much in common and have different ideas of our future. I moved about 30 minutes away. Even though the dog is technically his, he bought him and pays for all his vet bills. I truly feel like he is my dog too. I mean, that is like on the edge of sounding a little crazy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I mean, replace dog with his son.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Plus, I love the dog so much and can't imagine not seeing him. We decided that I would watch him a few days a week and any weekends where my ex is gone and I'm available. The situation has been working great so far, but I'm now thinking about starting dating again. I really know how to talk about this if it comes up. How do I make it clear that even though my ex and I are in contact and see each other a few times a week, neither of us want to get back together? It's truly just about the dog. Is there any way to talk about this that doesn't sound off alarm bells? Or do I just need to accept that this is going to be a red flag for a lot of guys? I'm not willing to stop watching the dog, but feel free to roast me for this. Lol. Sincerely, a dog mom. What do you think?

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, she says she's not willing to stop watching the dog. That was my first suggestion again. If she said, if this was like his son, she got really close to his son, the relationship didn't work out, would you say, yeah, she should continue watching the son every other week whenever the dad goes out of town and taking him on walks.

[Jared Freid]

No.

[Jordana Abraham]

And doing whatever. No. You'd be like, I understand. That's sort of like the collateral damage of a breakup. It sucks.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like, you know, know it's sad.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

But it's something you kind of just can't do for the rest of your life.

[Jared Freid]

No, I. Yeah. What's the end game here?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? And of course he's saying, of course, watch my dog for free when I'm at. I've had a free babysitter. Of course he's letting you do that.

[Jared Freid]

And a few times a week is also like, this isn't once a month. I just like to check in with a dog. Like, I. That would even be more understandable. And the accusation is going to be, we don't get it, or I don't get it. I don't have a dog and you have a dog.

[Jordana Abraham]

I understand. Feeling I could. I'm not saying this wouldn't be hard to not see the dog anymore.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it would be just like, again, if you got. If you dated someone with kids and they had kids, you got close to their kids and then you broke up, it would be hard to not see their kids anymore.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

It doesn't mean you should see their kids.

[Jared Freid]

Right? And. And here's the thing. What she's concerned about isn't even the concern, right? Like, she's.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's the crazy part to me.

[Jared Freid]

Well, right, because she's like, are we on this? I think we're on the same page. She's like, will people be worried that I'm still in love with my ex? No. That's not where my brain goes. Like, I'm worried that you spend a big part of your life taking care of a dog that's not yours.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. And you can't let go.

[Jared Freid]

Right. Of the dog, right? So, like, are you over this phase of your life? Are you working on yourself? Are you looking in the mirror like, I'm not. If I'm on a date with you, I'm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna lean towards not my ex still, you know, Like. Like, well, when it comes to the dog, I'm gonna believe you if you tell me, oh, I take care of my. The dog because I love it, and my ex and I are totally broken up, and I'm cool with it. Like, I believe that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Sure.

[Jared Freid]

If I didn't believe that, that'd be a whole nother issue of trust that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? That's not the point, though, right?

[Jared Freid]

That's not the point. Like, I. I think she's missing the forest through the trees, right? Like, she's assuming a jealousy. And that is not where my brain would go at all. For. I'm still taking care of a dog, of my ex.

[Jordana Abraham]

What is the problem that you're putting on her for doing this?

[Jared Freid]

The problem would just be that the letting go, the inappropriateness. It's not even inappropriate.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, it's just, like, feels inappropriate. It feels weird.

[Jared Freid]

I find no inappropriate of like. Like, again, like, if it was a. A kid that wasn't yours, I'd just be like, yeah, what are you doing?

[Jordana Abraham]

I go see my ex's kid a few times a week.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I'd be like, no, no, it sucks.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm sorry. That's really painful to have to, to have to, you know, lose this relationship that you came with, this, that you built with this kid. But it's necessary.

[Jared Freid]

Right? I, I, I just. Right. What is, what is your ability?

[Jordana Abraham]

We can do hard things.

[Jared Freid]

We can do hard things. Yeah. And it has. So I think that's something she needs to hear.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Is like, this isn't if, if it's a guy that you would hypothetically date, who would be a great date, they're not jealous of an ex that you come in contact with because of a dog. Like, they don't think I will take your story at face value.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I don't think. Yeah, I don't think that's the issue. I think the issue is like, again, the way even if she's still doing it, but she has some self awareness that it's insane.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

I actually think it would help and like, might not be that crazy. Like, if someone said to me, like, I became really attached to my ex's dog, I walk them. I like, actually still take them for walks every couple weeks. I know it's kind of crazy and I really need to stop doing this, but I just love this dog so much.

[Jared Freid]

And even if they, that was like. But walk every couple weeks. Like, it's the amount.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, if she was like, anytime he goes on vacation, I get to like spend time with a dog and that means a lot to me. That would make sense.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

That also makes sense because, like, you're

[Jared Freid]

really taking care of a need, you know, like the free care. Like she wins. Like there's a exchange.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Again, I think forever. That would be weird.

[Jared Freid]

It would be weird. But if she loved that, it'll be

[Jordana Abraham]

how she, you have to be, like, sound a little ashamed of it. I think in your power from each other. That's far.

[Jared Freid]

Like, that's like a, that's like a trip.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. That's crazy.

[Jared Freid]

I don't know. To do it, to do a chore that you don't have to do. Like, I know she doesn't think of it as a chore.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

So I, I just think, like, I can't. And the one thing she says at the end, just saying, like, I'm not willing to watch the dog. To not watch the dog if I'm not willing to not watch. When you say I'm not willing blank in dating, that's the bigger red flag. Well, you're gonna lose people.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Just I'm not willing to blank equals less matches, less dates, less connection.

[Jordana Abraham]

Compromise. Open to compromise.

[Jared Freid]

Right. So that. That's okay. It's like, how long can you take?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right? Well, it's like I'm not willing to date anyone who's not X.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's also, in that same way is limiting. I'm not willing to date anyone who. Who wants me to stop watching this dog.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

You're gonna get rid of some people.

[Jared Freid]

You're gonna get rid of some people. I'm not saying you should be living in a. I gotta have everyone. I. I don't think that. But I'm just saying, like, acknowledge. It's weird. Anytime you say I'm not willing to do. To do you, there are consequences.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right?

[Jared Freid]

Let's play some games. Red flag or deal breaker? The game that's sweeping the country. You date someone, one thing happens. Is it a red flag or is it a deal breaker? You ready?

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do it.

[Jared Freid]

Jordana and Jared love the podcast I recommended to my sister years ago. And now we constantly find ourselves referencing your takes and our conversations. Thank you. I'll get right into my situation. I really. I recently matched with a guy on Bumble while we were texting about my job. I'm a physician assistant. I made a joke about prescribing him Adderall. We eventually set up a date, but then he asked if I could actually bring Adderall to the date for a bachelor party he is attending this weekend. I've attached screenshots of our conversation for context. I would love to hear your thoughts on this. I know I messaged the flag, but it ended up being a deal breaker for me. I canceled the date. Best a PA being used for her prescription pad. What do you think? Let's do the messages.

[Jordana Abraham]

Let's do the messages.

[Jared Freid]

So you're her? I'm him, yes.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay. Hi there. How is your week going?

[Jared Freid]

It's been pretty good. Had a nice short week with Monday and Friday off and a fun weekend so far. What have you been up to?

[Jordana Abraham]

Oh, wow. You're so lucky. I spent most of the day catching up on work. Lol. I'm so lame. What do you do for work?

[Jared Freid]

What's a pac? Exactly. I work in sales. So I just work the old 9 to 5 schedule and have my weekends for me. LOL.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm a physician's assistant, so I work in the medical field. I'm below a doctor, but above the nurse. Okay.

[Jared Freid]

Thank you for clearing that up.

[Jordana Abraham]

The hierarchy.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Oh, okay. Smarty pants.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

So I'D be a stay at home hubby immediately rich woman trying to see

[Jordana Abraham]

what he can get out of her. Lol. Depends. Will you cook and clean and manage the household?

[Jared Freid]

Oh, it will be sparkling. And I'd turn into a master chef if that's what it took. That would be my new ADHD obsession. Lol.

[Jordana Abraham]

And when you're falling behind on those house chores, I'll just prescribe you some Adderall.

[Jared Freid]

Oh, my goodness. If you could get me an Adderall prescription, I'd marry you right now.

[Jordana Abraham]

Lol. So now you're just interested in me for the Adderall? Ask me on a date first.

[Jared Freid]

Lol. Absolutely. Are you free any night this week other than Wednesday and Friday?

[Jordana Abraham]

I'm free Thursday night.

[Jared Freid]

Beautiful. And what do you think would make for a good first date?

[Jordana Abraham]

This guy's not doing any work.

[Jared Freid]

I mean, this guy. This guy. It actually went well.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Like, I love it was joking. Are you free any night this week? Like, we. We did it.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

We.

[Jared Freid]

We got the play in the air, right? And then we hit some turbulence with. What do you.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

What do you.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. What do you think makes a great first?

[Jared Freid]

Like, this dude had her.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. He.

[Jared Freid]

He had it and then he fucked it up.

[Jordana Abraham]

We can get ice cream or something.

[Jared Freid]

That sounds like a good idea to me.

[Jordana Abraham]

Where do you live? Where do you want to go?

[Jared Freid]

I'm in Blank. Do you have a favorite spot?

[Jordana Abraham]

Blank Creamery.

[Jared Freid]

That's a good spot. It's a date.

[Jordana Abraham]

Can't wait. What time works best for you? 6.

[Jared Freid]

This guy's the king of, like, not doing anything. Like, well, it's like, here's.

[Jordana Abraham]

You really need some Adderall.

[Jared Freid]

Right? He, like, leaves out one huge part of the plan. Like, he makes the date, she makes the date. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

She picked the activity, she picked the place, she picked the time.

[Jared Freid]

Right? Yeah, well, picking the time is, like, the most egregious of it. Like, you got her to pick a place. Like, okay, she was Tuesday.

[Jordana Abraham]

She didn't even realize the whole day.

[Jared Freid]

Right, right. I didn't even realize. That sounds spot on. Would you be able to bring Adderall to the date on Thursday? I have a bachelor party this weekend.

[Jordana Abraham]

Is that a serious question?

[Jared Freid]

Unfortunately, yes. I'm guessing that's a strong no.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yup. Red flag emoji.

[Jared Freid]

Lol. Yes, I know, I know. Not good.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, that was an interesting move. I was only joking about prescribing you Adderall earlier. Sorry to be misleading. I. I respect what this. How. How little this guy has done to try to get something that he wants.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

But this is obviously a deal breaker. This is crazy.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. This is, like. You know, it's funny that he's like. He's like a good con man.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's, like, impressive.

[Jared Freid]

It's.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like she plans the date. He makes it seem like he plans the date.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. It kind of shows you what the power of positivity. Like, the way he talks is so jovial and fun.

[Jordana Abraham]

Slips his ADHD in there.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Trying to get the conversation about adhd.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. I mean, you could take this way back and be like, he swiped on her because she's a doctor and, like,

[Jordana Abraham]

already knew what that was. Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Right. But I wouldn't go that far. I would say that. That this is, like, it's. It is weird.

[Jordana Abraham]

It does sound like he has a little bit of a substance abuse issue.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Maybe.

[Jared Freid]

Depending on his age. I don't know. Like, going on a bachelor party and bringing some Adderall makes sense, but, like, how about we leave work and play in two different. You know, like.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

A first date. You're asking someone to do you a favor. Right.

[Jared Freid]

I don't like anything that's illegal. Totally. I don't. I don't want to do anything for someone on a first date other than get to know them.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Them.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, this is supposed to be even.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. She was right to cancel the date. That's very weird.

[Jared Freid]

Absolutely. I, I. You have to wonder what his motives are with anything. Also, like, if you want to boil it down, like, you know, bringing,

[Jordana Abraham]

you

[Jared Freid]

know, the guy who needs. Who's asking anyone and everyone for Aderall to go on a bachelor party. Probably not ready to settle down.

[Jordana Abraham]

Asking his bumble match to bring him at all.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, that's a deal.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's a good point.

[Jared Freid]

All right, let's do another one.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right. Hi J. And J. And a lot of other people.

[Jared Freid]

I have A, E, Emily, Mike, M. Oh, okay. Lucy, C. Charlie, and R. Ronnie.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Wow.

[Jared Freid]

When she puts it that way.

[Jordana Abraham]

We'll have to come up with a. A name.

[Jared Freid]

It looks like. It looks like a Clirm.

[Jordana Abraham]

Clum. Hi. J.

[Jared Freid]

And J.J. and Clum.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes.

[Jared Freid]

Okay. I like that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Charlie, Lucy, Emily, like, in the clear. And Ronnie.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. It's like the Clirm.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah, the whole clerm. All right.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

Thank you. I.

[Jared Freid]

Acknowledging the Cl.

[Jordana Abraham]

I have a red flag or deal breaker I'd love to hear your thoughts on. I'm 28 and met a guy, 37 at a bar about a month ago. Shout out.

[Jared Freid]

IRL love it.

[Jordana Abraham]

We've gone on a few dates, and last weekend he invited me over to his place to make dinner. I asked to grab a drink at a bar beforehand and we met there before walking back to his place. When we got there, I noticed his bed was unmated. Like crumpled up. Comforter and pillows. Wherever. And mind you, his bed only consists of a comforter and two pillows. Luckily, the sheets aren't Navy.

[Jared Freid]

Is that a thing?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think I. We talked about this on a previous thing.

[Jared Freid]

Navy sheets, Like a young, immature guy thing?

[Jordana Abraham]

I think so. I don't have an issue with Navy sheets, personally.

[Jared Freid]

Is it because you don't have to wash them as much?

[Jordana Abraham]

I feel like you can see like a sweat stain on a darker. Maybe.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I don't know. I wouldn't. I wouldn't be turned off by a Navy sheet, but.

[Jared Freid]

But I guess if I saw Navy sheets, I could understand the youth aspect of it because, like, most bedrooms are like taupe and white.

[Jordana Abraham]

Shades of white.

[Jared Freid]

Right. It kind of. It kind of like darkens the room, I guess. I don't know.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's a man. I don't know. Yeah. Anyway, I immediately called him out on it, and he said he never makes his bed. I was surprised, given how easy this bed would be to make. I also don't remember noticing this the last few times I've been over. He asked if I make my bed every morning, and I said, duh. And mentioned something about that viral Navy SEAL clip on why making your bed in the morning is the most important step of the whole day. Have you guys seen that clip? I have. Have you seen it?

[Jared Freid]

Can we show it? Can I see it? Yeah, because I. I roll that.

[Jordana Abraham]

It's like this guy who's like, in the army who's basically like, making them. Your bed is like the number one thing you can do to, like, get your whole life in order.

[Jared Freid]

I subscribe to that a little bit, but I also. These are. To me, that's like a. Yeah, that

[Jordana Abraham]

sounds right to me.

[Jared Freid]

That's like a thing you say to yourself.

[Jordana Abraham]

Well, he put it in like a speech. Speech or something.

[Jared Freid]

Sure. But I'm saying when you say it, he can do it in a commencement speech because he's wearing.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, he's taking it as a hero.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

You know, if you want to change the world, start off by making your bed every morning. In SEAL training, my instructors, who at the time were all Vietnam veterans, would show up in my barracks room.

[Jared Freid]

This is the speech. I'm going to give it my Needham High, my bed.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers would be pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard, and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the. Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

This music in the background.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, the music is crazy.

[Jordana Abraham]

Because Monday morning.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

We were required to make our bed to perfection. Ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that we were aspiring to be real warriors. Tough, battle hardened seals. But the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over. If you make your bed every morning, you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride, and it will encourage you to do another task.

[Jared Freid]

Desk.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

And another. And another. And by the end of the day,

[Jordana Abraham]

it does make me want to make my bed.

[Jared Freid]

It does. It does inspire you. I'm also worried about my speech for the Needham High Distinguished Career Award. Just get this down the transcript and the sound play. Put play a little boom box in

[Jordana Abraham]

the back and then whatever you say will sound deep, Right?

[Jared Freid]

That's true. Can you imagine if I got up and I was like, the first thing you got to do every day is clean up the wrappers for the night before. That's how I became shredded cheese off of your.

[Jordana Abraham]

Off of your chest. The rest of your day will go

[Jared Freid]

exactly how you imagine. So you the Needham High graduates, I want to let you know all you have to do is keep a rotisserie chicken in the fridge and eat it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Speech.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah, right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I gave him some for not making his bed and then decided while he was prepping dinner to just fluff out the corn comforter myself, since it'd take five seconds learning about her too. And for my own sanity, knowing we'd be in it later. I wanted the bed to be nice. I felt a little lame doing it, but I had to scratch the itch for more context. Before this date, we'd only ever hooked up, but never had sex. We did end up having sex that night for the first time, so obviously this was just a red flag and not a deal breaker for me. At the brunch table the next day, I told my friends about the unmade bed and they were surprised. Especially given the concrete plan to go back to his place after the bar. You would think he'd tidy up the place, make his bed. Etc. I'd love to hear your thoughts, Jared. Did you make your bed every morning when you were 37 and single? Or knowingly before having company over Jordana have you encountered the situation or something similar of a guy not tidying up when going back to his place? Is this dog too old to be taught new tricks? I'd also love to hear your ideas in any fun ways to bring this up before we hang out next. So that his bed is made before I come over. Thank you, love, love, you guys. A freak in the unmade sheets.

[Jared Freid]

I love this email. I think bringing up the Navy SEAL is not the way to do it.

[Jordana Abraham]

I agree. It sounds a little shamey.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Like, I, I think, make it about her.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think it's hot when a bed is made.

[Jared Freid]

Totally.

[Jordana Abraham]

I love getting into a made bed. It, like, turns me on.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. When you put it. When you, when you, like, put it off to this, like, you know, man who's, you know, hero.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And it's like, look at what you can't. This guy went to war and you can't even make the bed. Like, it's a little bit of that.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. Don't make it a personality trait.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. Like, and give people redemption. Like, like, you know, let people make a comeback for you, you know, like, I agree.

[Jordana Abraham]

I would be a little turned off if someone I hadn't slept with yet invited me over to their place and didn't make the bed. It'd be the same way as if you showed up and the place was a huge mess. It's not about it being a mess. It's about you're not trying to impress me at all. It was pretty. Pretty easy.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. And it was his plan. Yeah, it was his plan. Come to my place. Like, right.

[Jordana Abraham]

Put in a little effort.

[Jared Freid]

Did I make the bed when I was 37 and single? Yes, most days. You know, like. And also, I did kind of have.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

For.

[Jared Freid]

I did have a moment where my mentality was like, let's get the bed nice. But, like, but also when I went out at night and I was like, maybe a woman might come back here. I did have, like, a. I would do. I call it a hand sweep. It wasn't making the apartment clean.

[Jordana Abraham]

Okay.

[Jared Freid]

But it was definitely, like, tidying. Tidying.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I would do that.

[Jordana Abraham]

I think that's respectful.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. I, I, you have a pride in your.

[Jordana Abraham]

I'd have, like, a little pride in your space, especially.

[Jared Freid]

You got ready that night to, like, bring her home. Like, I don't know. And that was the initial plan.

[Jordana Abraham]

And you're meeting at your place. You're not even paying for a date. Originally.

[Jared Freid]

Well, yeah, originally. Yeah. So I don't. It's not A deal breaker. It can be changed. I think it's all in kind of how you serve it.

[Jordana Abraham]

It like.

[Jared Freid]

I think it also like giving him might not get through.

[Jordana Abraham]

That's why I think about her. What she. She finds it hot when I think it's hot.

[Jared Freid]

When the bed is made.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

When. When you've thought of how the place looks before I come over.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

I think that's a good way to put it. Instead of the bed made.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. When you. When you care about how.

[Jared Freid]

Right. How the place. Honestly, if she had come back and been like, nah, I'm not gonna sleep over. I'm kind of turned off. She still could have gone back. He still could be redeemed.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

You know what I mean?

[Jordana Abraham]

Like right there.

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

So now he has no incentive. You ruined it. No, I'm just kidding. Okay, let's do another one.

[Jared Freid]

J. And J, thank you for all you do. I'll get right to it. The guy tells you on the fourth date that he is still friends with his ex. 10 year relationship that ended a year ago. She ended it. And that they see each other once a month. He says that he has no feelings for her, but that she is an important person in his life. Red flag or deal breaker? He's friends with his ex. All the best. A worried. This is one of those red flag or deal breaker where nuance and like the details matter.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, because what ends up happening is someone's like, I'm friends with my ex. Of course it can work out. And then another person goes, you can't be friends with an ex. It can never happen. And that's just not how life works. Like life has a story that results in a result. The life has like, here's the situation and here's the result. The situation here. When the guy. All of these things are things I've heard before that don't really make for a good future. He's still friends with his ex. I'm fine with that. No problem. 10 year relationship that ended a year ago. Okay. Have we really released ourselves from that?

[Jordana Abraham]

And they ended it.

[Jared Freid]

They ended it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Are you just trying to hold on?

[Jared Freid]

Right? Are. Is this friendship that you're keeping up a crutch because you haven't been able to go out on your own and be. Be an individual.

[Jordana Abraham]

I have a lot more questions.

[Jared Freid]

Totally. And they see each other once a month.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

That's a lot.

[Jared Freid]

That's like the dog.

[Jordana Abraham]

Do you see anyone once a month?

[Jared Freid]

You.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Well, for work.

[Jared Freid]

For work. For a business we have.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. You know and do you see any friend once a month?

[Jared Freid]

Not even.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

You know, like, had no feelings for her, but she's an important person in his life. Again, this is like, you know, can you let go of the past?

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

Past?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. Sort of like the dog walker.

[Jared Freid]

It's the same thing as the dog walker to me. Can you. Important person. I have people that are important. My life, that life has changed and evolved in a way where if I saw them, of course I'd be cool with them and want to catch up. But also, it's not someone I have to keep up with every month.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yes. In a scheduled seeming way. Right. And they're important enough that you're bringing them up on a fourth date to let the person know.

[Jared Freid]

Know. And you're probably getting ahead of it.

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah. I would have a lot of questions. Why did the relationship end?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

What do you get out of the friendship?

[Jared Freid]

What do you do when you hang out?

[Jordana Abraham]

Right.

[Jared Freid]

Like, what do you talk about?

[Jordana Abraham]

Is there anything. Did you ever. Did you feel. How did you feel when they broke up with you?

[Jared Freid]

Is there a big friend group that gets together and that's why it's once a month?

[Jordana Abraham]

What holds you together? What do you talk about?

[Jared Freid]

Right.

[Jordana Abraham]

When you get together?

[Jared Freid]

Right. And then it's like, you know, if this got more serious, I'd be like, like, let's all hang out. Like, I would invite it. I'd be like, let's get together. Let's see how fun this friendship is. And you might be front row seafood. And you go, wow, they're. They're pretty good friends.

[Jordana Abraham]

Seems like it's good friends.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah. Or you go, what is.

[Jordana Abraham]

Something seems weird here.

[Jared Freid]

Right?

[Jordana Abraham]

Yeah.

[Jared Freid]

And you'll feel it right away. But I don't know if we have to get to that point.

[Jordana Abraham]

Right. I would just ask more questions.

[Jared Freid]

Yeah.

[Jordana Abraham]

All right. We did it.

[Jared Freid]

We did it. We solve dating again.

[Jordana Abraham]

We'll be back on Friday.

[Narrator/Guest Voice]

Boom.

[Commercial/Ad Voice]

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