U Up? — Would You Date Someone With Immature Friends?
Hosted by Jordana Abraham & Jared Freid
Date: January 9, 2026
Episode Overview
In this Friday Feels episode, Jordana and Jared dive into the complexities of relationships, focusing especially on the issue of dealing with a partner’s immature or rowdy friends. They cover stories about trust, family quirks, and the boundaries we set with the people in our lives, all while answering listener questions that get to the heart of modern dating’s messiest moments. Simultaneously hilarious and insightful, the episode explores why immaturity in a partner’s social circle can feel so icky, and whether it’s a reason to reevaluate your relationship.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Family Quirks & Trust: The "Trusted House Sitter" Saga
[01:04–11:55]
- Jared recounts Jordana’s sister Dr. Naomi’s wild experience with hiring house/dog sitters via Trusted House Sitters. The story involves colorful house guests who ask boundary-pushing questions and have questionable side gigs.
- Jared: “Every time I hear her talk... the woman kept being like, ‘Hey, are there cameras in the house? Hey, do you mind if I take my titty out while I’m in the tub?’... Naomi, get this woman out of your house.” [02:13]
- Jordana highlights Dr. Naomi’s trusting nature, contrasting it with the typical ‘New York mentality’ of caution.
- Jordana: “Her one fatal flaw, I will say, is a little bit of her naivete... She hasn’t really lived in New York City. She's always thinking the best in people.” [03:51]
- Family upbringing discussion: Jordana describes her chaotic, welcoming home life versus Jared’s more structured upbringing.
- Jordana: “We kind of grew up in sort of like an anything goes kind of household.” [06:55]
- Jared: “We’re very much alike and very much different at the same time. My mom is literally calling me every five minutes to come over here to put the duvet cover on my comforter because she thinks I can’t do it.” [10:13]
2. Social Mishaps & Relocation Challenges
[12:01–18:34]
- Jared tells a story about moving to Delray Beach and being awkwardly recognized at a bar.
- Jared: “This woman comes up to me. She goes, ‘Are you Jared from Instagram?’... The other one goes, he was on The Golden Bachelor.” [15:27]
- Jared: “The drunker woman comes up behind me and goes, ‘He’s looking at himself! Look, he’s looking at himself!’... That’s a very embarrassing way to be pointed out.” [17:47]
- Reflection on small town vs. city dynamics and feeling out-of-place as a newcomer.
3. Modern Dating Etiquette: The “Happy New Year” Opening Move
[22:26–30:14]
- Debate: Is sending “Happy New Year” as an opener on dating apps lazy or totally fine?
- Jordana: “I think that can’t be the only thing you say... It’s the more topical version of ‘how is your weekend?’” [22:42]
- Jared: “I think saying Happy New Year back is the equivalent of hitting the ball back. That’s enough to start the volley.” [24:00]
- Advice for situationships: If you’re stuck in a ‘going nowhere’ text loop, it’s okay to call out the need for action.
- Jordana: “If you send a Happy New Year text with no context, you better be reigniting something.” [27:14]
- Jared: “If you’re getting a Happy New Year text from someone that you have a situationship with... reply, ‘All I need is a planned date to make it even better.’” [28:05]
4. Main Email: Would You Date Someone with Immature Friends?
[30:18–45:55]
- Listener Email: A recently married woman feels uncomfortable with some of her husband’s single male friends, especially after learning one hired topless servers and others make disrespectful comments about women. She asks if she needs to build relationships with them and whether her husband’s continued friendships are a red flag.
- Jared (on the party story): “I love when it starts with ‘I was just married—what could go wrong?’” [30:36]
- Jordana: “I think male friendships, a lot of them are not that deep... I think as women we’re doing that a lot, which is probably why we’d have less big of a group.” [34:12]
- Jared: “I’ve never had a friend breakup. Jordana, have you had a friend breakup?” [35:06]
- Jordana: “Of course.” [35:11]
- Perspective on Male vs. Female Friendships:
- Male friendships often “means to an end”—less about vetting people for their morality, more about shared activities or history.
- Jared: “I don’t need my friend to be a friend for everything. Some friends I talk to about gambling on football, some for personal problems.” [36:57]
- Advice to Listener:
- You don’t have to like or be close to all your partner’s friends.
- It’s fine to opt in or out of events; communicate honestly with your partner about your discomfort.
- Jared: "It's also very important to understand that men are just not as ruthless dictators as women are with their friendships.” [45:08]
- Jordana: “If this person was their best friend, that might be a little concerning. But if they’re just someone at the Super Bowl party doing ‘additional things,’ it’s fine.” [44:35]
5. Segment Proposal: “Tolerate or Tap Out” and Ghosting Etiquette
[47:22–56:35]
- Listener email proposes new segment "Tolerate or Tap Out" (should you keep seeing someone after a minor early-dating annoyance, or walk away?).
- Jared: “Tolerate or tap out does spell it out a little bit more than red flag or deal breaker.” [48:18]
- Jordana (teasing): “Only men could turn someone rejecting them into their own red flag or deal breaker. She’s not interested in me—is that a deal breaker?” [49:58]
- Example situation: Listener tries to set up date #2 with a woman he’s interested in, but she cancels after weeks of vague planning.
- Jordana: “You had a good time on a date and asked someone on a second date. There’s no way you could have changed the outcome—everything happened as it should.” [52:01]
- Jared: “One person's nudge is another person’s magnificent relationship… You did everything right.” [51:28]
- Takeaway: You can’t always prevent rejection. Staying open (and a bit vulnerable) is the only way to eventually find a genuine connection.
Notable Quotes & Timestamps
- “Her one fatal flaw… is a little bit of her naivete… She hasn’t really lived in New York City. She’s always thinking the best in people.”
— Jordana [03:51] - “I love when it starts with, ‘I was just married—what could go wrong?’”
— Jared [30:36] - “I think male friendships... are not that deep, and they're not evaluating them based on morality.”
— Jordana [34:12] - “I’ve never had a friend breakup. Jordana, have you had a friend breakup?” “Of course.”
— Jared & Jordana [35:06–35:11] - "It's also very important to understand that men are just not as ruthless dictators as women are with their friendships."
— Jared [45:08] - “Only men could turn someone rejecting them into their own red flag or deal breaker. She’s not interested in me—is that a deal breaker?”
— Jordana [49:58] - "You did everything right... Dating is to be discussed, that's why this show is here."
— Jared [51:28]
Important Segments and Timestamps
| Segment | Timestamp | Notes | |---------|-------------------|------------------------------------| | Trusted House Sitter Saga | 01:04–11:55 | Bizarre guest stories and family trust issues | | Delray Embarrassment | 12:01–18:34 | Jared’s awkward bar celebrity moment | | Happy New Year Etiquette | 22:26–30:14 | When to send NY texts on apps or to exes | | Main Email: Immature Friends| 30:18–45:55 | Friends' behavior, marital boundaries | | Tolerate or Tap Out | 47:22–56:35 | Segment proposal & rejection etiquette |
Episode Tone & Style
- Warm, confessional, full of playful banter and sarcasm.
- Honest, sometimes brutally so, but always with the intention to help listeners navigate dating with humor and empathy.
In Summary
This episode is a quintessential U Up? mix of comedy, real talk, and practical advice, exploring how to live with your partner’s not-so-perfect friends. Through stories and sharp banter, Jordana and Jared model how to honestly assess boundaries and expectations—not just in relationships, but in the messy, hilarious process of being a grown-up.