
Hosted by Marcus & Deanna · EN
Two snarky podcasters imagine that the bible is actually a bizarrely plotted streaming TV show, and they give it the scathing after-show treatment it deserves. Each week, these irreverent Scripture script doctors drop their comedic hot takes on the weird storylines and wild production choices of this “newly released” streaming series. If you also don’t take the bible too seriously, join Marcus and Deanna to find out what happens when you combine a narcissistic main character with a team of overworked writers, excessive CGI, and a costume department that really loves the color brown. Pod be with you!

God himself drops by Moses’s house to give him a pop quiz about some laws, a surprising number of which involve stoning children, destroying other nations, and keeping oxen and donkeys away from each other. God also reminisces about this crazy house party he had one time, which apparently involved adulterous people falling off the roof and women having their hands cut off for grabbing his junk. At least we finally find out what circumcision is for! (Deuteronomy 21:10–25:19)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Moses gets by with a little help from his friends in this episode, as Joshua, Caleb, and Mummy Joseph drop by to check on everyone’s favorite doomed prophet. Moses takes the opportunity to spew out a few more laws (among other things), reminding everyone that they need to stop all the soothsaying and horse trading and start killing every living thing in Canaan. All is going swimmingly until Moses forgets to include Joshua in his plan of succession. (Deuteronomy 16:18–21:9)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Another episode, another drunken litany of reminders from Moses. As he shuffles home after the party, he talks about a blessing MacGuffin, burn books, and God’s very important convenience store – and don’t forget to bring God some gaudy trinkets when you visit! Along the way, the Israelites absolutely cannot eat any camels or show the slightest interest in investigating non-God religions. They can, however, elect to have their ears nailed to a door if they’d like to remain enslaved after 7 years. (Deuteronomy 11:26–16:17)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Moses somehow increases the pace on his rapid-fire carrot-and-stick reminders – one moment he’s waxing poetic about an awesome new theme park in Canaan, and the next moment he’s threatening to release a swarm of hornets if the Israelites don’t do as God says. While berating the head of the Hebrew Complaint Brigade, Moses describes a special kind of circumcision that may stop their complaining for good. As part of this tirade, Moses drops the bombshell that God doesn’t actually like the Israelites all that much and has never gotten over the whole golden calf thing. (Deuteronomy 7:12–11:25)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Moses continues his “tell not show” retirement party speech, and his bitterness at being excluded from the Canaan party really comes out. He follows up this rant with a litany of reminders focusing on God’s strict rules for not worshipping idols, which include a surprisingly large loophole for unicorns. As he transitions to a post-party chat with incumbent prophet Joshua, it’s clear that he takes a dim view of the new guy’s abilities, prompting him to repeat the 10 Commandments word for word and insist that the Israelites literally staple the laws to their foreheads. (Deuteronomy 3:23–7:11)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s the season opener for Season 5, “Study of the Dudes”! Moses gives a rambling farewell speech at his retirement party that would put your grandpa to shame, focusing on that one time that everyone got cold feet about going to Canaan and were cursed to wander in the desert for 40 years. He also spills some tea about Og, king of Bashan, who is setting a new standard in bedroom furniture. (Deuteronomy 1:1–3:22)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Marcus and Deanna review Season 4: Numbers! What exactly was God’s relationship with that rock? How might the noble sport of curling be featured in future battle scenes? Just how many lambs have been silenced so far in all those sacrifices? And of course, we reveal the winner of the season-wide Weirdest Name competition!Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This season finale has it all! God opens with some more misogynist rules, and then quickly pivots to violence, sending the Israelite army out for an epic battle against the Midianites. Led by everyone’s favorite javelin-wielding badass, Phineas, the Israelites utterly destroy their enemies and discover the shocking identity of a traitor (or should we say “trait-hur”?) in their midst. Moses then succumbs to the power of the dark side as he puts a black bucket on his head and goes full Egypt on some innocent women and children. We wrap with not one but five weddings, which are mostly an excuse to get God drunk, show off the costume department’s love for neutral colors, and keep the inheritance within the family. (Numbers 30:2–36:13)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Moses’s anxiety about dropping dead at any moment peaks as God orders yet another census of the Israelites (which is mostly an excuse to channel his favorite Sesame Street character). Then, in a shocking twist, God changes the laws of inheritance in favor of women. Next, without any warning, God tells Moses that he’s going to be "Aaroned" at the top of a mountain. Rather than immediately putting Moses out of his misery, he makes Moses sweat through the installment of a new prophet and a litany of sacrifice reminders. Tune in next week to find out if Moses makes it through the season finale! (Numbers 25:10–30:1)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Having seen the death and destruction visited on his neighbors by the Israelite army, local king Balak tries a different tactic, hiring Certified Hedge Wizard Balaam to curse the Israelites. God repeatedly trolls Balaam on his way to this new job with contradictory FaceTime calls, invisible angels, and a talking donkey. God finally lets Balaam get on with it, but then literally puts his own words in Balaam’s mouth, leading to a musical pronouncement of Israel’s awesomeness. Balak tries rebooting the cursing ceremony but in response, Balaam predicts that Balak’s people are next in line for destruction. We cap off the episode with the dire consequences of listening to your girlfriend about which God to worship, which may include being impaled by a javelin-throwing priest. (Numbers 22:2–25:9)Join us on Patreon at www.patreon.com/wrathofpodAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy