
Hosted by Walt Mueller · EN

If you could go back in time to face your sixteen year old self, what advice would you give to that teenager you once were? My list of advice would certainly be long, but there’s one essential push I’d give to adolescent Walt regarding how he was spending his time. I would tell that younger version of myself to stop making excuses about how little time he said he had to read, study, and meditate on God’s Word. I have to admit that I wasted loads of time that could have been spent on more important pursuits, including growing in my understanding of God’s will and way for my life as put forth in the Bible. Still, I have to admit that I’m glad I grew up then rather than now. I recently read that the average teen spends seven hours and twenty-two minutes looking at screens each day. Today’s kids have even more distractions, meaning that we need to go the extra mile in encouraging them through our example and words to spend time daily in God’s Word. That’s a great investment for now and the future.

Parents, today I want to remind you to warn your kids about some very real dangers they might face in today’s smartphone and social media saturated world. Sexting is defined as the act of sending, receiving, or forwarding sexually explicit or suggestive photos, videos, or messages through their phones and digital devices. For our vulnerable and easily influenced kids, the dangers are real. Recent research on kids thirteen to seventeen found that one in three kids have received a sext, and one in four have sent one. In spite of our warnings, these numbers are up from 2019. The other related danger is sextortion, which occurs when someone is tricked into sending nude images or videos, and then the perpetrator threatens to share those images unless they are given some kind of payment. Researchers found that nearly half of those who had sent a sext were targeted with sextortion. Parents, warn your kids, and teach them that God has called them to flee from sexual immorality.

Somewhere there’s an assumption flying around that Christian kids are somehow immune from being vulnerable to the growing tide of negative influences in today’s rapidly changing culture. Many of us have bought the lie that “those things don’t happen in Christian families,” or that “they don’t happen to Christian kids.” Believing that lie can lull us to sleep, keeping us from realistically recognizing and addressing the pressures that all kids face in today’s world. You see, it doesn’t matter where they live, who they live with, or what kind of school they go to. Any kid, anywhere, can be influenced by any of the negative and dangerous aspects of our culture at any time. No church, school, family, or child is immune. Parents, I want to encourage you to pay attention to the voices out there in the culture that are influencing your kids. How can you guide them through the lies if you don’t know the lies? You see, what we don’t know, don’t want to know, or refuse to know can and will hurt them.

Parents, some new research on the effects of social media, screen time, smartphone use, and videogaming on eleven to twelve year olds warrants our attention. Reported in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, the study set out to examine associations between problematic screen use, and behavior and mental health outcomes one year later. Problematic screen use occurs when kids can’t control their online time and it starts to cause conflicts, stress, or problems at home and school. The study found that problematic mobile phone and social media use were prospectively associated with higher depressive, attention-deficit, and conduct problems. In addition, there were higher instances of suicidal behaviors, sleep disturbances, and substance use initiation. This data is just part of the growing amount of research that should cause us to wake-up to the fact that our kids are way too attached to their screens. Set strict time limits in order to facilitate good mental, relational, and spiritual health.

One of the cultural pressures that’s trickling down quickly from our adult world into the world of children and teens is what’s become known as hustle culture. Hustle culture is a fast-spreading mindset and lifestyle that glorifies non-stop work and constant productivity in an effort to achieve professional success. One’s self-worth easily gets tied to this, leading to a relentless pursuit of what for a long-time has been called the American Dream. The version of hustle culture evidencing itself in the world of our kids is known as “grind culture.” With it’s spread fueled by peer pressure and social media, grind culture has our kids pursuing academic perfection, the need to have one’s entire life mapped-out, choosing activities that make one’s college applications look good, and posting one’s achievements online. We need to hustle our kids out of grind culture, as it fuels the sin of pride, sacrifices God’s plan for sabbath rest, and hijacks their hearts away from finding their identity in Christ.

I was fortunate to have Christian parents who modeled Christ-like grace in our home. When I think of my parents’ grace, one specific instance comes to mind. It happened late in my teenage years. I had hurriedly left our family dinner table to meet a friend. In my haste, I failed to look in the rear-view mirror while I sped in reverse out of our driveway. My progress was interrupted abruptly with a loud, crashing bang. I had backed my mother’s car into the driver’s side of my dad’s car. Fearing the worst, I slowly walked back into the house to inform my dad of what I had done. I walked into the kitchen and said to my dad, “I just backed mom’s car into yours.” He put down his fork, lowered his head into his hands, as all of us waited in anticipation to hear what my father would say. He slowly lifted his head out of his hands and nodded it from side to side in disbelief. Then he looked at me and said some amazingly freeing words: “They’re just two pieces of metal.” Grace.

Would you agree with this sentence: “It is becoming common knowledge that social media use has led to harmful psychological consequences, including the amplification of a psychological phenomenon known as FOMO, or fear of missing out.” Those words penned by professor Keith Hess of Oklahoma Baptist University in a recent edition of Salvo Magazine, in an article entitled “Beware the Other Attention Deficit Disorder.” Hess says that FOMO is pushing us into two manners of faulty thinking. One is the bandwagon fallacy, where we see something online and we decide to do it only because others are doing it. The second is the false urgency fallacy, where we act quickly without thinking, simply because we feel we will miss out if we don’t. These fallacies are nurturing us and our kids away from acting with wisdom and discernment. Proverbs fourteen fifteen reminds us that “the simple believes everything, but the prudent gives thoughts to his steps.”

All this week we’ve been looking at how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids desperately need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. Because we as Christian parents must teach our kids to glorify God in every nook and cranny of their lives, we must set the table for them to sleep counter-culturally, worshipping God through good stewardship of their bodies by getting enough rest. First, do not allow your children and teens to sleep with any devices in their room. Remove the tempting distraction! Second, keep your child’s phone in a secure place to charge overnight. Turn the phone off so that notifications are silenced. Third, expect pushback from your child. Let them know that your action is not due to mistrust, but to responsibly fulfilling your role to love and parent them by God’s design. And finally, remind your child that God has created our bodies for a rhythm of work and rest, and that a lack of sleep only brings harm.

All this week we’re looking together at how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. Parents, here are just some of the dangers associated with digitally-interrupted sleep. First there’s anxiety and depression. Counselors who screen patients for these issues will oftentimes first ask patients if they are getting enough sleep. A lack of sleep not only leads to anxiety and depression, but will make them worsen over time. Second, there’s decreased academic performance. Kids who are sleep-deprived are sleepy during the day, exhibit a reduction in cognitive skills, and wind up with lower grades. Third, there’s the health issue of obesity. People who are tired crave and eat more food. Fourth, there’s an increased risk of heart disease. Fifth, neurological functions suffer. For example, one’s driving ability. And finally, a lack of sleep leads to aggressive and inappropriate behavior. Tomorrow, we look at parental action steps.

All this week we’re looking together at the issue of how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids desperately need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. Parents, I want to share with you some realities that demand your attention and response. Researchers tell us that eighty-nine percent of our teenagers keep at least one electronic device in their bedroom at night, usually a smartphone. While thirty-six percent of teenagers sleep with their phone in their bed or on their pillow, it’s reasonable to assume that most others keep the phone within reach by placing it on a bedside stand or on the floor next to their bed. And six out of ten kids ages eleven to seventeen use their phones between midnight and five am on school nights. And one-third of all teens admit to waking up in the middle of the night to use their phones. Is this a problem? You bet. There are many dangers associated with digitally-interrupted sleep. Tune in tomorrow as I share some of those dangers.