
Hosted by Walt Mueller · EN

All this week we’re looking together at the issue of how smartphones are cutting into the sleep time our kids desperately need, and what we as parents must do to remedy this problem. For our kids today, uninterrupted sleep is about as familiar to them as pay-phones, black and white TVs, transistor radios, and other artifacts that they see as part of their parents’ olden days. Researchers tell us that children and teens have always needed just over nine hours of uninterrupted sleep for healthy growth and development. This is the way God has created our kids to grow, and he has established a need for all of us to experience a daily rhythm of waking time and rest. But judging from what the research is telling us about new patterns of adolescent sleep, healthy physical and emotional teenage development is also in jeopardy of becoming an artifact of the past. Teenage pressures and distractions are on the increase, while good old-fashioned uninterrupted sleep is on the decline.

Are you a parent who laments the fall-out from smartphones and how they’ve permeated and changed not only youth culture, but your very own children and teens. When we notice the negative effects these devices are having on our kids and we choose to intervene by setting up borders and boundaries, arguments are sure to ensure. In fact, recent research says that the most common point of parent-child conflict these days is screen time and what is and is not appropriate. I’m guessing that most of you who are listening right now know exactly what I’m talking about as you have experienced these conflicts in your own home. But I want to encourage you to stay the course and not give up. Your kids need you to step in to fulfill your nurturing and protective role to keep them from harm and provide for their well-being. One area where borders and boundaries are needed is the over night hours. Stay with us all week as we will be talking about our kids and digitally interrupted sleep.

Our children need parents who will openly explain and discuss what is happening to their bodies as they pass through puberty. We live in a world that constantly sets unrealistic standards regarding physical beauty so that only a handful can measure up. Teenagers spend hours in front of the mirror looking for facial and body flaws. Figuratively speaking, they look over their shoulders and see images of the “perfect people” – the actors, actresses, supermodels, sports stars, and other media heroes - who “meet” them everyday through online videos, movies, television, social media and billboards. Parents, offer your teen a godly perspective on the changes that are taking place. In addition to modeling the unconditional love and acceptance of Christ during the physically awkward years, Mom and Dad should temper the social pressure to be preoccupied with outward appearance. Take the time to teach your children about the inward qualities of godliness.

One of the subtle, or maybe not so subtle, traps of social media is the way that we use it as a digital megaphone to trumpet ourselves. And because we all need to look good on social media, it’s usually not our real selves that we put out there, but our idealized selves. I have often said that if you seek the spotlight, it will blind you. That’s a mantra we and our kids should all embrace, knowing that we must join with John the Baptist to say, “I must decrease so that he might increase.” The great 20th century preacher Martyn Lloyd- Jones writes this: "When the Holy Spirit works in us, what He does is to make us glorify the Lord Jesus Christ. The man in whom the Spirit dwells does not talk about himself; whether he is a preacher or whatever he may be, you do not come away talking about him." And, consider these words from Charles Spurgeon: “The moment we glorify ourselves, since there is room for only one glory in the universe, we set ourselves up as rivals to the Most High.”

I was recently at a social function where I asked a mother how her fifth grade daughter was doing. “Well”, the mom replied, “She’s a little bit sad. She just broke up with her boyfriend.” The fact that we were talking about a fifth-grader got me to thinking about how much the world of kids and their dating relationships have changed over the years. Not only are kids dating younger and then marrying older, but there’s a whole new set of slang terms that we older folks need to know if we are going to keep up with the kids. If you hear your kids talking about “throning”, they are referring to efforts to date someone based on how that someone will raise their social status by giving their own image a boost. “Shrekking” involves dating someone you’re not attracted to, hoping that dating down in the looks department will lead to better treatment from the person. And “monkey-barring” has you holding on to one partner until you have moved on to the next. So parents, now you know!

Parents, did you know that understanding the world of your kids is a part of your parental calling? Youth workers, Sunday School teachers, pastors, and other significant adults all play an important role in the spiritual development of children, but Scripture is clear: The primary arena for Christian nurture is the home. Parents are called by God to teach the truth of God’s Word by precept and example. An understanding of our kids and their culture helps us to function as cross-cultural missionaries – taking the Word of God from our culture into theirs. It helps us to prepare them for the reality of the unique challenges they will face in today’s world. Only then can we effectively teach them to walk through difficult times by integrating Christian faith into all of life. Regularly ask your kids about the pressures, problems, challenges, and choices they and their peers are facing in today’s world. Then, take time to get into God’s Word so that you might direct them into handling whatever it is they are facing.

Meta is the company that owns Facebook and Instagram. While there might not be too many teenagers hanging around on Facebook these days, our kids are engaging for hours a day with a variety of other social media platforms. In recent months, there’s been well-deserved pushback on the movers and shakers at Meta regarding the ways in which their social media platforms harm our vulnerable children and teens. The allegations against Meta are the same allegations, we believe, that should be levied against all social media platforms that are designed to draw and keep our kids. Earlier this year, a document released as part of a court filing revealed that one in five thirteen to fifteen year old Instagram users saw nudity or sexual images on Instagram. And to clarify, none of those one in five users were looking for those images. In fact, they say they didn’t want to see the pictures. Parents, our God-given responsibility is to guide and protect our kids. Set up social media boundaries.

Parents, today I want to ask you a question that you might find a bit odd. The question is this, Are you doing what you can to convince your kids that they are indeed sinners? Listen to these words from the late Martyn Lloyd-Jones. I cannot imagine a worse state for anybody to be in than for him or her to say he or she does not feel he or she is a sinner. The Holy Spirit convicts and convinces us of sin, and if He has not done it for you, if you value your own soul, ask Him to do it. Christ came to die for sinners, not for the righteous, and the first work of the Spirit is to convict of sin, of righteousness and of judgment. We come to Christ for salvation after the Spirit has convinced us of sin, because the Lord Jesus Christ is the answer to our need.” Parents, because we live in a world that scoffs at the Gospel of Jesus Christ, we increasingly believe in the goodness of human beings, which leads us to forget that we are sinners in need of a Savior. Be sure your kids are aware of their sin and their need for Jesus!

Recently, the Center Against Sexual and Family Violence in El Paso, Texas, began raising awareness among their constituency about a new type of dating violence they were seeing among teenagers. It’s being called digital violence, a name that captures the changing realities of life for children and teens as they grow up in a smartphone and social media saturated world. Using the digital tools they have at their fingertips, along with the growing number of artificial intelligence options, teens as young as middle schoolers are creating and distributing images of their dating partners which compromise and undermine trust. In addition, there is the creation and spread of rumors, both visually and textually. Parents, we are living in the Wild West when it comes to life on the digital frontier. Pay attention, and always look for ways to teach your kids to live counter-culturally to the glory of God. As Paul says in Romans twelve, this is the spiritual worship to which we are called.

One of the most essential lessons we need to teach our children and teens is that God calls them to be responsible stewards and caretakers of their bodies. In First Corinthians Six, the Apostle Paul tells us that we are to honor God with our bodies. We are to care for them as an act of worship. For parents, this means that we must warn them about being careful about what it is that we put into our bodies, as that can effect them either positively or negatively, both now and for the rest of their lives. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that cannabis use among adolescents increases their risk of being diagnosed with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and other psychotic disorders up to and including age twenty-five. Doctors are reporting seeing patients who have used cannabis developing these mental health issues. Parents, teach your students to steward their bodies to God’s glory, educating them to worship God through self-care.