Podcast
The Anxious Achiever
Hosted by Morra Aarons-Mele · EN
Host Morra Aarons-Mele is on a mission to reframe how we think about anxiety and mental health in the workplace. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S. We desperately need better models for leadership and a more holistic view of mental health. Our culture tells those of us who suffer from anxiety and depression that we can’t succeed, but we tell a different story — without sugarcoating the tough stuff. We feature stories from people who’ve been there and experts who can help you thrive.
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72episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
The Gift of Introverted Leadership with Jennifer Kahnweiler
Feb 2400:54:23Tap to summarizeFor years, leadership has been associated with charisma, confidence, and speaking the loudest in the room. But what if some of the most powerful leadership traits are actually quiet ones? In this episode, I’m joined by leadership expert and author Jennifer Kahnweiler to talk about the strengths of introverted leaders. We break down the misconceptions around introversion, why many successful leaders are secretly introverted, and how preparation, listening, and thoughtful presence can become leadership superpowers. Tune in to rethink what effective leadership looks like and learn how quiet strengths can create lasting influence. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why introverted leadership is often misunderstood. 03:45 What is an introverted leader? 06:00 What has changed and what hasn’t for introverts at work. 10:30 Are you adapting or just exhausted? 14:45 The 4 P’s of introverted leadership. 18:30 Why telling your team you’re an introvert is a leadership hack. 21:30 Why quiet men face unique workplace bias. 27:15 The connection between introversion, anxiety, and performance. 33:00 How introverted leaders prepare for high-stakes meetings. 35:15 Techniques to make meetings more introvert-friendly. 39:15 How giving teammates a heads-up increases participation. 44:30 How to show presence in meetings without talking more. 47:45 The introvert's guide to not burning out in a hybrid world. Resources + Links Learn more about Jennifer Kahnweiler HERE Listen to Jennifer’s podcast: The Introvert Ally Podcast Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Jennifer: on LinkedIn @jenniferkahnweiler + Instagram @jenniferkahnweiler
Transcribe →How To Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous with Chris Voss & Moshe Cohen
Feb 1901:08:34Tap to summarizeNegotiation isn’t just about boardrooms and big deals. It’s every time you ask for what you need that brings up fear, self-doubt, and a rush of emotion that can derail the whole conversation. In this episode, I talk with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and negotiation expert Moshe Cohen about why so many of us dread conflict, how curiosity can quiet anxiety, and how to use tactical empathy as a strategic tool. We also share the tools to slow down emotional hijack and manage rejection. Tune in to learn how to regulate your emotions and negotiate with clarity instead of fear. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why negotiation is happening in almost every interaction. 04:45 What are the 3 types of handling conflict? 09:15 How curiosity shuts down fear in your brain. 12:15 Is asking questions in general a good technique in a negotiation? 16:30 What empathy really means in negotiation. 23:15 How bonding and trust influence negotiation outcomes. 26:15 Why you should talk less and listen more in negotiation. 32:00 How naming your emotions reduces their intensity. 38:00 How often does that anxiety show up during a negotiation exercise? 41:00 Tips to slow down time when you feel emotionally hijacked. 46:15 What is the listening triangle? 50:30 How much advice is too much in a negotiation? 57:00 How to build your rejection muscle. 01:00:00 The stories you tell yourself before and during a negotiation 01:02:00 How knowing your BATNA lowers the stakes and raises confidence. Resources + Links Get the Anxious Achiever Healthy High Achieving App - studio.com/morra Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Chris: on LinkedIn @christophervoss + Instagram @thefbinegotiator Follow Moshe: on LinkedIn @moshecohen
Transcribe →Inside the Role of Chief Wellbeing Officer with Jen Fisher
Feb 1701:06:55Tap to summarizeWork is making people sick, and quick fixes are not enough. In this episode, I’m joined by Jen Fisher, former Chief Wellbeing Officer at Deloitte, to talk about why wellbeing isn’t a perk but a business imperative. We break down why burnout is often rooted in systemic issues and hopelessness, how middle managers shape our daily mental health, and why hope and an understanding of the human nervous system may be the most underrated leadership skills of all. Tune in to rethink what wellbeing means and what it takes to lead with hope right now. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why wellbeing is more than mental health benefits. 06:00 How burnout led Jen to pioneer the Chief Wellbeing Officer role. 13:00 What does “wellbeing at work” mean? 19:30 The ROI of fixing workplace culture. 23:00 Why does AI make us so anxious? 26:00 Why wellbeing must be part of organizational strategy. 30:00 How constant disruption dysregulates employees. 33:15 What is the definition of a successful leader? 37:15 What workplace data misses about human outcomes. 40:30 The #1 thing employees want from leaders. 46:00 Why middle management is the make-or-break layer. 51:00 Incentives drive culture more than values. 58:15 How to build a wellbeing role inside your organization. Resources + Links Get your copy of Jen’s book - Hope Is The Strategy Read Jen’s article: “The Wellbeing Imperative: What I Learned Pioneering the Chief Wellbeing Officer Role” Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Jen: on LinkedIn @jenfisher + Instagram @jenfish23
Transcribe →Why Do We Micromanage People? With Prof. Julia Milner
Feb 1200:38:03Tap to summarizeYou’re not trying to control people. You’re trying to help. But what if your “help” is quietly draining your team’s confidence, creativity, and trust? In this episode, I sit down with Professor Julia Milner of EDHEC Business School to talk about the psychology of micromanagement, especially the kind that comes from anxiety, care, and good intentions. We dive into the difference between constructive feedback and control disguised as questions, the “advice trap” that keeps leaders stuck, and why micromanaging often feels safer in the moment but costs you long-term trust, dialogue, and time. Tune in to learn how to replace fixing with serving, advice with curiosity, and control with empowerment. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com Brevo - Meet brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement and grow your business smarter. Go to brevo.com/achiever and use code ACHIEVER50 for 50% off. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why micromanagers often act from anxiety. 04:15 How to spot motivational micromanagement. 06:30 Why do you hate being micromanaged? 12:00 How micromanagement increases anxiety on both sides. 14:15 The subtle way “questions” can shut down dialogue. 18:00 How to give upward feedback without triggering defensiveness. 20:45 What it means to adopt a coaching mindset. 22:00 Phrases you can use to reset a micromanaging dynamic. 28:45 What’s the difference between feedback and feed forward? 30:30 How do you treat yourself with grace? 33:00 What the best empowering leaders all have in common. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Prof. Julia on LinkedIn @drjuliamilner
Transcribe →The Best Leadership Advice You'll Ever Get with Margaret Andrews
Feb 1001:01:38Tap to summarizeSelf-understanding is the foundation of great leadership. In this episode, I sit down with Margaret Andrews, leadership educator, former executive director of the MBA program at MIT Sloan, and author, to talk about why leadership begins as an inside job. Margaret shares the 6 self-understanding questions, the best boss exercise that shows what people value in leadership, and why interpersonal skills aren’t about being affable. Tune in to rethink what it really means to manage yourself to lead others effectively. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 What to do when you’re triggered before you have to show up. 05:00 What is the best way to lead? 10:00 The “best boss” exercise and what 20 years of data reveal. 14:15 The 3 traits that separate good bosses from great ones. 18:15 What is managing yourself to lead others? 22:30 How moments of “hot shame” shape your leadership patterns. 25:00 Why you can’t manage what you don’t understand. 29:00 Should you improve weaknesses or maximize strengths? 33:30 The most common reasons leaders derail. 38:00 How to grow without losing credibility. 42:00 Why telling people what you’re working on can build trust. 45:00 Ways to practice self-management without losing status. 49:00 How do you get unscared of heart emotions? Resources + Links Learn more about Margaret Andrews HERE Get your copy of Margaret’s book, Manage Yourself to Lead Others HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Margaret on LinkedIn @margaretcandrews
Transcribe →Should You Be Yourself At Work? With Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic
Feb 5Summary readyWe’re told to “bring our whole selves to work.” But what if that advice is burning you out, especially if you’re anxious, neurodivergent, or wired differently? In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and author Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic to talk about why radical authenticity can actually harm your career, your relationships, and your energy. We dive into the difference between feeling authentic and being perceived as authentic, why emotional intelligence is really impression management in disguise, and how leaders who seem “real” are often the most curated of all. Tune in to rethink what authenticity really means and discover how to show up at work in a way that’s true to you and sustainable. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Should you ever be your whole self at work? 04:00 Why “just be yourself” is bad career advice. 07:15 What’s the difference between feeling authentic and being seen as authentic? 09:45 How over-identifying with work fuels burnout. 12:15 Why the leaders we trust most are often the most curated. 14:15 What impression management really means. 16:45 Why every role calls for a different version of you. 19:00 The cost of “bring your whole self” for neurodivergent people. 22:00 Where does the authenticity movement come from? 25:15 How modern work became a soft cult. 29:00 Can you belong without over-sharing? 33:45 Why engagement and performance aren’t the same thing. 36:15 The generational shift toward radical honesty. 39:00 When does being “real” harm your team? 42:15 The rules that actually create psychological safety. 44:30 Why reputation matters more than intention. 47:00 How to learn how you’re really seen. 50:00 The truest definition of self-awareness. Resources + Links Get Dr. Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic’s book Don’t Be Yourself Learn more about Tomas’s work on leadership, personality, and potential HERE Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Tomas on LinkedIn @drtomaschamorro
SummaryFitting In Is the Enemy of Excellence (with Anne Morriss & Frances Frei)
Jan 20Summary readyWhat if the very differences you’ve been trying to smooth out are actually your greatest leadership strengths? In this episode, I’m joined by renowned leadership coaches and Fixable hosts Frances Frei and Anne Morriss for a conversation about anxiety, being a neurodivergent leader, and what it really takes to lead well. We talk about how partnership at work and in life has taught them to communicate clearly, embrace conflict, and build teams that thrive because of difference. I ask Frances and Anne some listener questions, from micromanaging bosses to burnout, imposter syndrome, and the fear of being “known for DEI.” Tune in to discover how setting boundaries and rewriting your inner narrative transform the way you lead and feel in life and at work. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to http://shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to http://cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit http://expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to http://talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working http://genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Meet Frances Frei & Anne Morriss. 06:00 What partners with different wiring teach each other. 12:45 How conflict actually drives high performance. 16:45 How being neurodivergent has shaped Frances’s leadership at Harvard. 20:00 The power of devotion and high standards. 23:45 What are the three elements of trust? 27:45 How listening can change a broken dynamic. 31:30 Why inconsistent boundaries are the same as no boundaries. 39:15 Is it risky to be known for DEI right now? 42:15 How to make inclusion feel expansive, not exclusive. 50:15 Why you’re not the best judge of your own excellence. 51:00 Protecting your life force as a leader. Resources + Links Download the Anxious Achiever App HERE Listen to Fixable with Frances Frei & Anne Morriss HERE Learn more about Frances Frei & Anne Morriss HERE Get your copy of Unleashed by Frances Frei & Anne Morriss Get your copy of Move Fast & Fix Things by Frances Frei & Anne Morriss Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Frances: on LinkedIn @francesfrei + Instagram @francesxfrei Follow Anne: on LinkedIn @annemorriss + Instagram @annemorriss
SummaryBreathwork For A Better Workday with Zsombor Szabo
Jan 15Summary readyMost of us are unknowingly over-breathing all day long, and it’s quietly keeping our nervous systems stuck in fight or flight. In this episode, I sit down with breathwork coach Zsombor Szabo to talk about how breathing can radically change your energy, focus, and emotional state anywhere you are. Zsombor guides us through live breathing exercises designed to calm your body, find your optimal energy zone, and even intentionally activate your system to build resilience. We also dive into why modern work keeps us in constant survival mode, why most of us unknowingly hyperventilate all day, and how long-term stress impacts health and leadership. Get ready to regain control in high pressure moments. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree Shopify - Sign up for a $1 per month trial, just go to shopify.com/anxiousachiever Cozy Earth - Give your home the luxury it deserves. Head to cozyearth.com and use code ACHIEVER for up to 20% off. Express VPN - Secure your online data today. Visit expressvpn.com/achiever and find out how you can get up to four extra months. Talkiatry - Head to talkiaitry.com/achiever and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Working Genius - Take the working genius assessment today and get 20% off with code ACHIEVER at working genius.com In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How your breathing affects your workday. 03:00 A guided physiological sigh to calm your nervous system. 07:30 What does tightness in your chest and belly reveal about stress? 10:15 Why stress hormones stay elevated at work. 12:15 The gas pedal vs. brake pedal of your nervous system. 14:30 How breath hacks your autonomic nervous system. 16:00 Ways to do box breathing for focus and steady energy. 22:15 Why music + breathwork helps neurodivergent brains. 27:45 How breathwork improves listening and leadership. 30:30 How do you co-regulate and breathe anxious kids? 32:30 Tips to turn breathwork into a habit. 36:45 How to breathe better while working on your computer. 42:00 How to train your nervous system for stress. 44:00 Live intense circular breathing exercise. 50:45 What breath holds do for calm and presence. 57:30 Why do most adults over-breathe? 59:30 Advice on using breathwork to manage panic attacks. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Zsombor on LinkedIn
SummaryExploring AI Anxiety With A Leader In Charge Of AI Transformation with Lee Gonzales
Dec 2Tap to summarizeWhat if your AI anxiety isn’t a flaw, but a signal to evolve how you work? In this episode, I sit down with Lee Gonzales, engineering leader and creator of BetterUp’s AI Flight School, to talk about why AI feels existential, why it threatens your craft and identity, and how you can move from fear to agency. We dive into how psychological safety, values, and collective sensemaking help people shift from “AI will replace me” to “AI can expand me.” Tune in if you’re ready to move from avoidance to informed action and become the pilot of your AI future, not the passenger. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why AI anxiety pushed Lee to reinvent his entire career. 04:45 How AI differs from every prior technological leap. 08:00 What distinguishes an “AI passenger” from an “AI pilot”? 10:00 Is the agency real or a helpful illusion? 14:45 Why psychological safety is the first requirement for AI learning. 18:03 How to reframe anxiety into possibility using values and task design. 22:15 Why AI can weaken your cognitive muscles if you’re not careful. 25:15 The values-based exercise that helps you understand your resistance. 28:45 Why engineers struggle with AI’s impact on the craft they love.30:30 What AlphaGo teaches us about self-learning systems and exponential change. 32:00 How prompting helps people reflect on values and reclaim agency. 34:15 Lee’s “aha” moment from Flight School participants. 36:00 Why AI can feel like an “infinite agency machine” when used well. Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Lee on LinkedIn: @leegonzales
Transcribe →Leading For Human Agency With SAP's V.R. Ferose
Nov 6Tap to summarizeIn today’s high-pressure world, leading with love isn’t idealistic, it’s essential. In this episode, I sit down with V.R. Ferose, 26-year SAP leader and Head of SAP Academy for Engineering and founder of the Autism at Work program, to talk about why love as a leadership practice, seeing people clearly, protecting dignity, and amplifying agency, is the most powerful business strategy of all. He shares why trust compounds over time, how to lead with both strength and compassion, and why the future belongs to leaders who lead with heart intelligence, not just artificial intelligence. Get ready to rethink success, rediscover meaning, and learn how leading with love can create workplaces where everyone can thrive. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Meet V.R. Ferose, 26-year SAP leader and Head of SAP Academy for Engineering. 07:00 How history’s great social movements teach modern leadership lessons. 15:45 What “only strength respects strength” really means when facing conflict. 24:00 Why heart intelligence, not AI, is our greatest human advantage. 32:45 How real learning and growth happen through in-person connection. 37:30 How AI is eroding creativity and reflection. 42:45 The link between social comparison and anxiety. 48:45 What is the origin of Autism at Work? 55:00 Why “Autism at Work” began as a choiceless decision. 01:04:00 Why do so many high-achievers feel boxed in and powerless? Resources + Links Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow V.R. on LinkedIn @ferosevr
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