Podcast
How Not To Suck At Divorce
Hosted by Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport · EN
How Not to Suck at Divorce
Action Steps That Save You Money. Humor That Saves Your Sanity. Honesty That Helps You Heal.
Most people make expensive divorce mistakes before they even understand the process.
Before you spend thousands learning those lessons the hard way, check out our Divorce Crash Course—a $150 program available for just $50. It walks you through exactly what to do before, during, and after divorce so you can protect your finances, avoid costly mistakes, and make smarter decisions from day one.
🎓 Learn more: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Divorce is one of the hardest things you'll ever go through—but getting through it doesn't have to cost you your financial future, your peace of mind, or your sense of humor.
Hosted by comedian-turned-marketing expert Andrea Rappaport and powerhouse family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill, How Not to Suck at Divorce helps you navigate life before, during, and after divorce with relatable conversations, practical legal insights, and honest discussions about the emotional side of starting over.
Every episode is designed to help you avoid expensive mistakes, better understand the legal process, communicate more effectively, and make decisions you'll still feel good about years from now.
Whether you're wondering if divorce is the right decision, in the middle of litigation, struggling with co-parenting, or rebuilding your life afterward, we're here to help you feel less alone—and a whole lot more prepared.
Because divorce isn't just a legal process.
It's an emotional one.
And sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh, take one small step forward, and remember that you don't have to figure it all out by yourself.
BEFORE DIVORCE
Thinking about divorce? We'll help you prepare before you make one of the biggest decisions of your life. Learn how to protect yourself financially, emotionally, and legally before you ever file.
DURING DIVORCE
From custody and parenting plans to communication, negotiation, finances, and high-conflict personalities, we'll help you make smarter decisions while avoiding the mistakes that cost people the most.
AFTER DIVORCE
Because divorce isn't the end of your story. We'll help you rebuild your confidence, your finances, your relationships, and your life.
WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
How to avoid costly divorce mistakes
How to reduce unnecessary legal fees
Divorce preparation before hiring an attorney
Custody and parenting plan strategies
Co-parenting and parallel parenting
Communication techniques that protect your case
Financial planning during divorce
Property division and asset protection
Negotiation strategies
Emotional healing after divorce
Recovering from high-conflict relationships
Rebuilding your life after divorce
You'll also hear conversations with leading experts in family law, psychology, finance, digital safety, parenting, and trauma recovery, alongside honest discussions about what divorce actually feels like—and how to get...
60episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
Divorce Mistakes That Cost Thousands and How to Avoid Them
Apr 2200:35:06Tap to summarizeDivorce Mistakes That Cost Thousands: What NOT to Do Before You FileDivorce mistakes can cost you thousands, especially when you don’t understand the divorce process, hiring a divorce lawyer, or how parenting agreements and legal decisions actually work. 👉 Before you take your next step, grab the $50 Divorce Crash Course to avoid costly divorce mistakes and make smarter decisions from the start. Typically priced at 150, available now for $50, thanks to our angel underwriters.In this powerful and personal episode, Andrea shares the biggest divorce mistakes she made and what she would do differently.From hiring the wrong attorney to rushing through parenting agreements and making emotional decisions instead of strategic ones, this episode breaks down the real-life consequences of going through divorce blindly. If you’re thinking about divorce or currently in the process, this conversation will help you avoid costly missteps, protect your finances, and make smarter decisions from the start.You’ll learn how to navigate divorce with clarity, avoid common legal and financial pitfalls, and take control of your situation before small mistakes turn into expensive consequences.In This Episode You Will Learn✅ The most expensive divorce mistakes people make early in the process✅ Why hiring the wrong attorney can cost you thousands✅ How emotional decision-making leads to poor legal outcomes✅ What to look for in parenting agreements before signing✅ How to avoid unnecessary legal fees and communication mistakes✅ Why education and preparation can completely change your outcome💰“You can either spend $50 now… or spend thousands later learning the hard way like we did. Your call. Divorce Crash Course 👇 https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseTimestamps(00:00) The most expensive divorce mistake: going in blindly(01:32) Waiting too long to take action and ignoring red flags(04:45) Hiring the wrong divorce attorney and why it matters(09:05) Signing agreements without fully understanding them(11:30) Temporary agreements and why they can cost you later(13:49) Lack of education and why it leads to costly mistakes(17:29) Balancing life, dating, and divorce without rushing decisions(18:16) Protecting your kids and setting communication boundaries(20:24) Co-parenting apps and why documentation matters(23:06) Unrealistic expectations and emotional decision-making(27:33) How to avoid costly legal communication mistakes(28:22) How the Divorce Crash Course helps you avoid these mistakesKey Takeaways🔹 Going into divorce without a plan is one of the most expensive mistakes you can make🔹 Hiring the wrong attorney or rushing the decision can lead to long-term financial consequences🔹 Emotional reactions during divorce often result in poor decisions and higher legal fees🔹 Taking time to understand agreements—especially parenting and financial terms—is critical🔹 Education, preparation, and strategy can save you thousands and reduce stress throughout the process👤 About the HostsMorgan Stogsdill is the Head of Family Law at one of the largest family law firms in the country, bringing expert legal insight and strategy to every episode.Andrea Rappaport is a comedian and divorce survivor who shares real, unfiltered experiences to help others navigate divorce with clarity, strength, and confidence.Resources: 👉 Divorce Crash Course hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course👉 OurFamilyWizard (Co-Parenting App) ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck👉 How to Hire the Right Attorney Guide hownottosuckatdivorce.com/guidesdivorce mistakes, divorce lawyer advice, divorce strategy, divorce crash course, parenting agreement divorce, divorce finances, legal mistakes divorce, high conflict divorce, hiring a divorce attorney, divorce help, divorce planning#DivorceAdvice #DivorceMistakes #DivorceCrashCourse #DivorceHelp #DivorceStrategy #FamilyLaw #CoParenting #LifeAfterDivorce #LegalAdvice #DivorceSupport #PodcastMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles
Transcribe →Is Your Divorce Lawyer Making Your Case More Expensive? What's Really Going On Behind The Scenes of Your Divorce...
Apr 1700:38:47Tap to summarizeIf you're really concerned about saving money in your divorce, then you need The Divorce Crash Course- it will save you THOUSANDS. Get it here. If your ex or the other side is telling you that your divorce lawyer “isn’t doing their job”… don’t panic just yet.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down one of the most common—and manipulative—tactics used during divorce: making you doubt your own attorney.You’ll learn why the other side often blames your lawyer when they’re feeling pressure, how this tactic is used to gain leverage, and how to tell the difference between strategy and an actual problem with your legal representation.Because while it can happen… most of the time, it’s not what you think.WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:Why your ex says your lawyer isn’t doing their jobHow “splitting” is used to create doubt and gain leverageWhen this happens most (mediation, proposals, pressure moments)Why lack of response can actually be a legal strategyHow to avoid spiraling and wasting money reacting emotionallyThe real signs your divorce lawyer might actually be the problemWhen to trust the process vs. when to question itKEY TAKEAWAY:Just because the other side says your lawyer is the problem…👉 doesn’t make it true.In fact, it may mean:👉 your lawyer is doing something right—and they’re feeling the pressure.REAL RED FLAGS TO WATCH FOR:Your lawyer consistently misses deadlinesYou’re not getting responses within a reasonable timeframeOpposing counsel repeatedly calls out real deficienciesJudges or mediators are pushing back on your attorney’s position👉 One comment = noise👉 A pattern = something to evaluateRESOURCES:Want to stop second-guessing everything and start making smarter decisions?👉 Get the Divorce Crash Course:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course👉 Listen to more episodes:https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/podcastOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles
Transcribe →Divorce Pro Tip: How to Get What You Want (Without Losing Track in Negotiations)- Mini Episode
Apr 1500:10:07Tap to summarizeGet the Divorce Crash Course and grab your Balance Sheet Template here!Struggling to get what you want in your divorce? You’re not alone—and the problem may not be what you’re asking for, but how you’re negotiating.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down one of the most common (and costly) mistakes people make during divorce negotiations—and how to fix it.Using a real-life example of “Chad and Brenda,” they explain why disorganized settlement proposals, scattered responses, and multiple documents can quickly derail progress, increase stress, and cost you time and money.You’ll learn how to stay aligned in negotiations, keep proposals clear, and use simple visual tools—like structured documents and balance sheets—to track progress and make smarter decisions.WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:How to negotiate effectively in divorceWhy responding within the same proposal structure mattersThe biggest mistake people make in settlement negotiationsHow to avoid confusion and “losing track” during back-and-forth offersWhy using one document or balance sheet can simplify the entire processHow visual organization can reduce stress and improve outcomesKEY TAKEAWAY:Divorce negotiations aren’t just about what you ask for—they’re about how clearly and strategically you communicate.When everything is organized in one place, you make better decisions, avoid unnecessary conflict, and move the process forward more efficiently.RESOURCES:Want a simple way to organize your divorce finances and negotiations?👉 Grab the Divorce Crash Course (includes a balance sheet template designed to help you stay clear and in control):https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseFINAL THOUGHT:Divorce is a marathon, not a sprint. Staying organized, asking the right questions, and using the right tools can make all the difference.You’ve got this—and we’ve got you.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles
Transcribe →204. Unrealistic Divorce Expectations That Are Making Your Case More Stressful and Expensive
Apr 1000:39:02Tap to summarizeGet the Divorce Crash CourseYou might not want to hear this… but you need to.If your divorce feels more stressful than it should, you might be part of the problem—and it likely comes down to unrealistic expectations.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill break down the most common ways clients unintentionally make their divorce harder, more expensive, and more emotionally draining.From expecting your attorney to respond immediately… to assuming you’ll get full custody… to chasing a “forensic accountant fantasy”… this episode is your reality check.Because divorce is emotional—but the legal system is procedural. And when your expectations don’t match how the system actually works, it creates unnecessary stress, frustration, and costly mistakes.What You’ll Learn:Why expecting immediate responses from your attorney is setting you up for frustrationWhat actually qualifies as a legal “emergency” (and what doesn’t)Why most people don’t need a forensic accountant (and when you actually do)The truth about full custody and how courts really make decisionsWhy divorce timelines are not in your controlHow unrealistic expectations increase your anxiety—and your legal billsKey Takeaway:Divorce isn’t just hard because of your ex.It’s hard because of the expectations you bring into it.When you shift your mindset and understand what you can—and can’t—control, the entire process becomes more manageable.Want more real, no-BS divorce advice?👉 Get full episode breakdowns, strategy, and resources here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/adviceOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles
Transcribe →203. Divorce Anxiety and Real Life Ways to Survive- Mini Episode
Apr 800:12:37Tap to summarizeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseDivorce is overwhelming. Some days you’re strong, focused, and ready to tackle legal decisions. Other days you just need something — anything — to help calm your nervous system and get through the moment.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, host Andrea Rappaport shares three surprisingly simple tools that helped her survive some of the hardest days during her own divorce:Target. Alexa. TikTok.These everyday distractions may sound random, but they can actually help interrupt the emotional spiral that many people experience during divorce. When your brain gets stuck ruminating about things you cannot control, small shifts in your environment can make a big difference.If you’re struggling with loneliness, anxiety, or intrusive thoughts during divorce, this episode offers practical — and refreshingly honest — ways to break the cycle.Why Divorce Triggers Emotional SpiralsDivorce often creates a perfect storm of stress:• uncertainty about the future• loneliness and silence at home• repetitive thoughts about the past• emotional overwhelmWhen your brain gets stuck in this loop, it becomes harder to regulate your emotions. Sometimes the healthiest move isn’t deep therapy work — it’s simply interrupting the spiral long enough to reset your nervous system.3 Surprisingly Helpful Divorce Coping Tools1. Target: Get Out of the HouseWhen you're stuck ruminating about your divorce, one of the best things you can do is change your physical environment.Walking around a place like Target gives your brain new visual input — colors, textures, movement — which can interrupt repetitive thought patterns.You don’t need to go on a shopping spree. Just walking through a store, moving your body, and being around other people can lift your mood and help you reset.2. Alexa: Don’t Sit in SilenceSilence can be one of the hardest parts of divorce, especially when you suddenly find yourself living alone.Using a voice assistant like Alexa (or any smart speaker) can help fill that space with:• music• podcasts• random questions• background noiseEven small interactions with sound can help regulate your emotional state and keep your mind from spiraling.3. TikTok: Embrace the DistractionScrolling on TikTok may not be the self-care advice most therapists give — but sometimes distraction is exactly what you need.When you're deep in divorce stress, going down a completely unrelated rabbit hole can give your brain a break from obsessive thinking.The goal isn’t perfection — it’s survival.Bonus Tip: Go Sit at a Bar (Even If You Don’t Drink)One of Andrea’s unexpected coping strategies during divorce was simply sitting at a bar with a laptop or book.Not for drinking — for connection.Bars are one of the few places where casual conversation with strangers still happens. Being around other people, hearing conversations, and interacting with a bartender can break the feeling of isolation many people experience during divorce.The Truth About Divorce Self-CareSome days you’ll make healthy choices:• therapy• journaling• exercise• meditationOther days you just need something that helps the pain stop for a moment — and that’s okay.Divorce is not a sprint. It’s a marathon. And learning how to survive the difficult days is part of the process.Key Takeaways From This Episode• Divorce anxiety often comes from rumination and emotional isolation• Changing your environment can help interrupt negative thought loops• Sound and background noise can reduce feelings of loneliness• Distraction isn’t always unhealthy — sometimes it’s necessary• You don’t have to do everything perfectly to get through divorceRemember ThisYour divorce will end.You won’t be going through this forever. One day you will look back and realize that you survived something incredibly hard — and came out stronger on the other side.And until that day comes, remember:You’ve got this. And we’ve got you.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles
Transcribe →202. Divorce 101: The Best (and Worst) Questions to Ask Your Divorce Attorney
Apr 300:20:55Tap to summarizeMeeting with a divorce attorney for the first time can feel overwhelming. You’re emotional, uncertain, and trying to make decisions that could impact your finances, your children, and your future. The problem is that when you’re in that emotional state, it’s easy to walk into a consultation unprepared and ask the wrong questions-or miss the questions that actually matter.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill pulls back the curtain on what really happens during divorce consultations and shares the best—and worst—questions you can ask a divorce attorney.If you're preparing to meet with a lawyer, this episode will help you walk into that consultation with confidence, ask smarter questions, and avoid mistakes that could cost you time and money.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy divorce attorneys struggle to answer questions like “How long will this take?” and “How much will this cost?”How preparation before your consultation can dramatically improve your legal strategyThe surprising question every client should ask their attorney about how they present as a witnessHow communication expectations with your legal team can affect your experience and your billThe powerful question Morgan asks clients that reveals the hidden risks in a divorce caseThe Questions Divorce Attorneys Wish You Would AskDuring your initial consultation, asking thoughtful questions can help you better understand your case and set realistic expectations.Some of the most helpful questions include:1. How would I present as a witness if this case went to court? Even though most divorces settle before trial, understanding how your behavior, communication, and evidence may be perceived can help you strengthen your case.2. Is there anything in my story that could make achieving my goals difficult? This question allows your attorney to set realistic expectations and identify potential challenges early.3. What is the best way to communicate with you and your team? Many law firms work collaboratively with legal teams. Understanding how communication works can help you get faster responses and better support.4. What can I do to be more prepared and save money on legal fees? Being organized—creating timelines, gathering documents, and preparing information—can significantly reduce the amount of billable time your attorney spends on your case.Questions That Are Hard for Attorneys to AnswerWhile they’re completely understandable, two questions clients ask most often are also the hardest to answer:“How long will my divorce take?”The timeline depends on many variables, including court schedules, negotiations, cooperation between parties, and whether the case settles or goes to trial.“How much will my divorce cost?”Divorce costs can vary widely depending on how contentious the case becomes, whether mediation is used, and how prepared both parties are throughout the process.The Question That Reveals EverythingOne of the most powerful questions Morgan asks potential clients is:“What’s the worst thing your ex is going to say about you?”This question often catches people off guard, but it reveals critical information about potential arguments, credibility, and issues that could surface during negotiations or litigation.Being honest about weaknesses in your case allows your attorney to prepare for them strategically.Preparing for Your Divorce ConsultationWalking into a consultation prepared can make a huge difference in how productive the meeting is. Some helpful steps include:gathering financial documentsunderstanding who your spouse’s attorney may beorganizing a timeline of eventsthinking through your goals for the divorceThe more information you bring to the consultation, the easier it is for your attorney to give meaningful guidance.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseResources Mentioned in This EpisodeGuide: How to Hire the Right Divorce AttorneyThe Divorce Crash CourseHow Not to Suck at Divorce Private CommunityYou can find direct links to these resources in the episode show notes.About the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by comedian Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce so listeners can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Transcribe →201. Real Life Divorce Support: 3 Things to do When You Want to Throat Punch Your Ex (Mini Episode)
Apr 100:11:25Tap to summarizeOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseRate our show! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckDivorce can bring out emotions you didn’t even know you had. One minute you're trying to stay calm and take the high road, and the next minute you’re imagining what it would feel like to throat punch your ex. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport talks about what to do when your ex pushes you to your absolute emotional limit. While it might feel satisfying in the moment to lash out, reacting emotionally during the divorce process can make your case more complicated—and a lot more expensive.Instead of reacting impulsively, there are a few powerful ways to redirect that anger and turn it into something far more productive.In this episode, you’ll learn three practical ways to manage intense emotions during divorce, avoid unnecessary conflict, and stay focused on the bigger picture: protecting your outcome and your future.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy reacting emotionally during divorce can backfire legally and financiallyHow writing the angry email you’ll never send can help release frustrationThe importance of shifting from emotional reaction to strategic thinkingWhy understanding your ex’s motivations can help you respond more effectivelyHow moving your energy into action can help regulate intense emotions during divorce3 Things to Do Instead of Throat Punching Your Ex1. Write the email you want to send—but don’t send it. Get the anger out. Write exactly what you want to say. Just don’t hit send. Emotional messages during divorce can easily become evidence that complicates your case.2. Think, don’t feel. When your ex does something that makes you furious, pause and ask yourself: what are they actually trying to accomplish? Understanding their strategy can help you respond more effectively instead of reacting emotionally.3. Do anything that moves the energy out of your body. Anger is energy. Go for a walk, organize something, run an errand, take a class—anything that helps you move through the emotion instead of sitting in it.Divorce Is Emotional—But Strategy MattersDivorce can sometimes feel like psychological warfare. But the more you can shift from emotional reaction to strategic decision-making, the better your outcome will be.A moment of anger may feel satisfying in the short term, but preparation and clear thinking will serve you much better throughout the divorce process.As Andrea says in this episode:Plan more. Cry less.Need More Support During Divorce?If you feel like your divorce process is happening faster than you can keep up with, the Divorce Crash Course can help.Inside the course, we break down the strategy behind divorce—from finances and working with your attorney to custody agreements and avoiding the biggest mistakes people make during the process.The goal is simple: help you protect your sanity, your finances, and your future.Resources MentionedThe Divorce Crash CourseThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in plain English—so you can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Transcribe →200. What Your Divorce Attorney Is Really Saying (And How to Tell if Your Lawyer Is a Bad Communicator)
Mar 2700:26:47Tap to summarizeGet the NEW Divorce Crash Course right here!Ever read an email from your divorce attorney and think:“What the hell does that even mean?”You’re not alone.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill break down the confusing world of legal jargon, attorney shorthand, and “lawyer speak” that leaves so many divorce clients feeling lost.If your attorney has ever said things like:“We’ll reserve that issue.”“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”“The judge may not view this favorably.”“We need more discovery.”…and you nodded along while secretly thinking “am I winning or am I getting screwed?” — this episode is for you.Morgan translates the most common divorce lawyer phrases into plain English, while Andrea asks the questions every client is secretly thinking.You’ll also learn how to tell the difference between normal legal communication and a lawyer who simply isn’t communicating well.Because understanding your divorce strategy isn’t a luxury — it’s your right.What You'll Learn in This Episode✔ What lawyers actually mean when they say “we’ll reserve that issue” ✔ Why divorce attorneys avoid giving 100% certainty about outcomes ✔ The real meaning behind “the judge may not view this favorably” ✔ Why discovery is one of the most misunderstood parts of divorce ✔ How to tell if your attorney is explaining strategy clearly ✔ Red flags that signal a bad communicator (or worse) ✔ When it might be time to get a second legal opinionDivorce Lawyer Phrases TranslatedMorgan and Andrea break down common phrases you may hear from your divorce attorney:“That’s not something we want to concede.” Translation: Not necessarily a “no” — but definitely not right now.“We’ll reserve that issue.” Translation: The decision is being pushed down the road until more information is available.“The judge may not view this favorably.” Translation: This could seriously backfire in court.“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.” Translation: Something behind the scenes is slowing the process down.“We need more discovery.” Translation: We need documents, financials, or evidence to support your case.Green Flags: Signs You Have a Great Divorce LawyerA strong divorce attorney should be able to explain:• What is happening in your case • Why it matters • What your options are • The risks and rewards of each choice • The strategy moving forward • The potential cost of each moveA good lawyer explains things like they’re talking to their neighbor — not lecturing a law school class.Red Flags in Attorney CommunicationIf you consistently feel:⚠ More confused after speaking with your lawyer ⚠ Like your questions are dismissed ⚠ Intimidated for asking clarification ⚠ Unsure of the strategy ⚠ Like you’re being told to “just trust me”…it may be time to reconsider the relationship.Questions You Should Ask Your Divorce LawyerIf something doesn’t make sense, try asking:• “Can you explain that in plain English?” • “What does that mean for my case specifically?” • “What’s the best-case and worst-case scenario?” • “What’s the strategy behind this?” • “Is this something judges typically approve?” • “How will this affect my legal fees?”You deserve to understand the process and the plan.When It Might Be Time for a Second OpinionGetting another legal perspective is not a betrayal.Consider a second opinion if:Communication is unclearStrategy hasn’t been explainedYou feel dismissed or confusedYour gut says something isn’t rightGreat lawyers aren’t threatened by second opinions — they welcome informed clients.Resources Mentioned💡 The Divorce Crash Course (DCC) The step-by-step strategy guide to navigating divorce with clarity.💬 Join our private community for support, resources, and conversations about divorce.Listen If You're WonderingWhy does my divorce lawyer speak in legal jargon?What does discovery mean in divorce?How do I know if my attorney is doing a good job?Should I get a second opinion from another divorce lawyer?Why won’t my lawyer give a clear answer?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles
Transcribe →199. Divorce Advice That Will Save You Thousands And Some Humor that Will Save You Sanity
Mar 2500:17:31Tap to summarizeGET THE DIVORCE CRASH COURSE!In this mini episode of How Not To Suck At Divorce, Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan L. Stogsdill introduce something they’ve been quietly working on for months: the brand-new Divorce Crash Course (DCC).This project has truly been a labor of love—built to give people going through divorce the information most attorneys simply don’t have time to walk you through.And yes… this episode starts with Andrea surviving a spring break indoor water park, wearing airplane-sized noise-canceling headphones, smelling like pond water, and nearly losing her dignity.But once the laughter settles, Andrea and Morgan dive into something that could change the way you navigate your divorce.The Divorce Crash Course was created to help people avoid the most common—and most expensive—mistakes made during divorce.Because the truth is:Most people enter divorce with no roadmap, no strategy, and no idea what they don’t know yet.That’s where the DCC comes in.What Is the Divorce Crash Course?The Divorce Crash Course is a private podcast paired with a downloadable guidebook designed to walk you step-by-step through the divorce process.Inside the Crash Course, Andrea and Morgan break down the biggest issues people face in divorce and provide practical tools to help you make smarter decisions from the beginning.Unlike typical divorce resources, the DCC combines:a private podcast you can listen to anytimea printable guidebookclickable resources and templatesstep-by-step guidance on navigating divorceThe goal?To give you the same strategic insight Morgan gives her clients in a way that’s accessible, clear, and affordable.Why This Divorce Crash Course Is DifferentAndrea and Morgan spent hours building this program because they know how overwhelming divorce can feel.Instead of leaving people to figure things out alone, the Divorce Crash Course provides:A clear roadmap for navigating divorceGuidance on how to communicate with your attorneyTools to help you save money on legal feesTemplates to organize your finances and parenting plansInsider tips on avoiding costly divorce mistakesAnd thanks to the support of OurFamilyWizard and Soberlink, the program is available for a fraction of what similar legal resources cost.What You'll Learn in the Divorce Crash CourseThe Divorce Crash Course addresses some of the most common questions people have during divorce, including:How to Save Money on Divorce Attorney FeesLearn how to communicate with your attorney efficiently so you’re spending money where it matters most.What to Do With the Family HomeShould you keep the house or sell it? The course walks through how to think about this decision logically and strategically.How to Organize Your Divorce FinancesThe guidebook includes a custom marital balance sheet template that helps you track assets, debts, and financial information before speaking with your attorney.Parenting Plans and Custody AgreementsDivorce often becomes most emotional when discussing parenting time.The course includes:Common court-approved parenting schedulesKey provisions people forget to include in parenting agreementsTips for negotiating custody arrangements effectivelyThe Most Common Divorce MistakesAndrea and Morgan also break down the most frequent—and expensive—mistakes people make during divorce and how to avoid them.What's Included in the Divorce Crash CourseWhen you purchase the Divorce Crash Course, you’ll receive:A private podcast with five guided episodesA downloadable guidebook with clickable resourcesA divorce balance sheet templateCustody schedule examplesTools to help you communicate with your attorney and your exOnce purchased, the private podcast can be added directly to your preferred podcast app so you can listen just like a normal show.Andrea recommends listening to one episode at a time and working through the guidebook alongside it.Frequently Asked Question:Do I Need the New Divorce Crash Course if I Bought the Old One?This is the question Andrea has received most frequently.The answer: Yes, the new Divorce Crash Course is different.While some concepts may overlap with previous guides, this new version contains completely new content, additional tools, and a private podcast format that makes it easier to absorb the information step-by-step.Why Andrea and Morgan Created ThisAndrea went through divorce herself.Morgan has spent nearly two decades practicing family law.Between them, they’ve seen the same painful patterns over and over again:People making expensive mistakes simply because they didn’t know what questions to ask.The Divorce Crash Course was built to change that.It’s designed to give people the knowledge and tools they need to move through divorce with more clarity, confidence, and control.A Little Humor Along the WayThis mini episode wouldn’t be complete without the signature How Not To Suck At Divorce humor.Between discussing the Divorce Crash Course, Andrea shares:Her hatred of indoor water parksThe questionable hygiene of spring break crowdsWearing pilot-style headphones in public to survive the noiseAnd the moment a stranger at Dunkin’ Donuts asked if she was her kids’ great grandmotherBecause if you’re going to survive divorce…You might as well laugh along the way.Where to Get the Divorce Crash CourseYou can purchase the Divorce Crash Course directly through the link below.Once you check out, you’ll receive immediate access to:the private podcastthe downloadable guidebookall templates and resources👉 Get the Divorce Crash Course here: [Insert Link]Need More Support?If you're navigating divorce and looking for support, resources, or community:Join our private communityFollow us on InstagramSend us a DM—we answer themDivorce may feel overwhelming, but you do not have to go through it alone.RememberDivorce is a marathon, not a sprint.You’ve got this.And we’ve got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/not...
Transcribe →198. Divorce SOS: How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails
Mar 2000:29:31Tap to summarizeHow to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails During Divorce: 2 Acronyms That Can Save Your SanityDivorce can make even the calmest person feel like they are about to unravel.One inflammatory text. One manipulative email. One last-minute demand from your soon-to-be ex.And suddenly your nervous system is on fire.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport share two simple acronyms designed to help you stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and decide whether a response is actually necessary.If you are dealing with high-conflict divorce communication, threatening messages, co-parenting drama, or an ex who knows exactly how to push your buttons, this episode will give you practical tools you can use immediately.Because when your ex is trying to bait you, your best move is not to react — it’s to get strategic.In This Episode, We Talk About:how to respond to threatening emails during divorcewhat to do when your ex sends an inflammatory texthow to stop emotional spiraling during divorcewhy your nervous system reacts so strongly to conflictthe best way to pause before responding to your exhow to tell if a message actually requires a responsewhen to call your divorce attorney and when not tohow to communicate strategically in a high-conflict divorcewhy not every “urgent” message is truly urgenthow co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard can reduce stressWhy Divorce Communication Feels So TriggeringWhen you’re going through a divorce, communication with your ex is rarely neutral.Even a simple message can feel loaded. A text about travel, money, or the kids can instantly send your brain into panic mode — especially if the wording feels aggressive, manipulative, or threatening.Andrea explains that this is often a nervous system response. Your body reacts as though you are under attack, even if the threat is emotional rather than physical.That is why so many people:fire off emotional responsesregret what they wrote laterfeel hijacked by anxietyspend hours spiraling over one messageThis episode teaches listeners how to interrupt that pattern before it hurts their peace — or their case.Acronym #1: STOPThe first tool Morgan and Andrea teach is STOP, a simple framework designed to help listeners stop the immediate emotional unraveling.S — StopLiterally stop.Do not react. Do not respond. Do not keep ruminating.Say the word out loud if you have to:Stop.T — TemperatureChange your temperature to help regulate your nervous system.Andrea explains that cold temperature can help bring your system back online.Examples include:holding iceputting ice on your wristsdrinking ice-cold waterusing an ice roller on your faceO — OxygenBreathe.When people are triggered, they often hold their breath, tense up, and make the spiral worse.The key is to exhale first, then let yourself breathe back in.P — PriorityYour priority is your mental wellbeing, not firing back at your ex.Most messages do not require an immediate response.This is where listeners are reminded to give themselves at least an hour before doing anything.Why You Should Never Respond in the Same Emotional StateMorgan explains that when people respond too quickly, it is often obvious to attorneys, judges, and anyone reading the email that they got baited.That matters.Fast, emotional responses can:escalate conflictmake you look reactivestrengthen the other person’s sense of controlpotentially hurt your caseWhen someone knows they can trigger you instantly, they are more likely to keep doing it.That’s why creating time between the message and the response is such an important strategy in divorce communication.Acronym #2: THREATThe second acronym in the episode helps listeners figure out whether a response is warranted at all — and if so, how to respond strategically.T — TimingAsk yourself:Does this message actually need a response?If it does, do I need to respond today?The answer is often no.H — Highlight the parts that actually matterPull out the parts of the message that involve:your childrenmedical decisionsschedulingextracurricularsactual legal issuesIgnore the inflammatory filler.R — Redline the BSMorgan and Andrea encourage listeners to mentally cross out the emotional garbage.Most threatening divorce emails are full of:baitingexaggerationpersonal attacksirrelevant accusationsAndrea says it best:Most threatening emails are 80% emotional dribble-drabble garbage and only 20% actual legal issues.E — Emotionless evaluation of the factsLook at the message again without emotion and ask:Is there any actual merit here?Is anything true?Is there something that genuinely needs attention?A — Ask your attorneyIf the issue has merit or is really weighing on you, this is where your attorney comes in.Morgan reminds listeners that sometimes spending money on your lawyer is worth it for peace of mind and strategy.T — Take the strategic routeOnce you’ve gone through the steps above, you can decide whether:you should respondwhen you should respondhow you should respondThat is strategy. Not reactivity.High-Conflict Divorce Communication: Why Strategy MattersThis episode is especially helpful for people dealing with high-conflict divorce, difficult co-parenting communication, or an ex who weaponizes timing and urgency.Morgan gives an example of a co-parent suddenly demanding an answer about international travel for the kids and insisting that tickets need to be booked immediately.That kind of message can trigger panic fast.But the point of the THREAT framework is to help listeners separate:true urgencyparenting agreement languagelegal issuesmanipulative pressureSo they can m...
Transcribe →